Fantasy The Worst Pantheon: Live and Reloaded (IC Thread) (OPEN)

[Space Buddha]

_______________________________The Worst Pantheon_______________________________
Live and Reloaded

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Poetic Prose Master | Gravitys Momentum | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck





Dawn of the New Year: 1000





Somewhere in a distant village, the elder gathers the children around the fire with the intent to share the ancient stories with them, as his father did, and as his father's father before him. While the rest of the village prepared for a night of revelry, the elder cleared his throat and prepared to recite the myths again, as he had done the previous year for all the boys and girls who had come of age. As the children sat on the nearby logs, holding marshmallows over the fire under the light of the harvest moon, the elder finally spoke.

"Gather round young ones, and let me tell you a tale of-"

He was interrupted by a girl around twelve years of age, whose brother had just jammed a semi-molten marshmallow in her hair.

"Ahh! Elder! Callan just stuck a marshmallow in my hair! Help! Get it out!"

As the girl ran around screaming while the others exploded into laughter, the elder simply sighed and cut out the wad of sticky substance with his rusted sword, before giving a stern look to the others.

"Now now, that is not very nice! I'm looking at you Callan, no more Smores until you scrub clean every floor in the town hall!"

"Awww...."

"Now! Onto the story... *Ahem*"

"One thousand years ago, our world was ruled by-"

A boy interjected after having had his hand raised for several minutes.

"Elder!"

"Oh for the love of- What!?"

"I have to pee!"

*Sigh*

"Make it quick! Now, as I was saying, One thousand years ago, our world was ruled by the mightiest beings ever known, the Old Gods. They came from a swirling abyss of nothing, which we call Chaos, and of the twelve born that day, Eleven I know by name. First was The Shaper, Arceus, who made the very ground you walk on, and the stars in the night sky above us tonight!"

The Elder sees a number of kids with their hands raised, and picks one to answer.

"Yes Isabelle?"

"How did Arceus make the ground? And Why?"

"Ohoho! You'll have to ask him when you go to bed tonight! But next I know was The Warrior! Assyrian. A being who mastered every art of combat he could conceive and taught us to do the same. Ask the guards! Were it not for him, they could never defend our town from all those nasty little goblins out in the woods. Next I can think of would be the Destroyer, Ickol-"

The children gasp at the mention of a "Destroyer".

"Do not be afraid of a name, sure she was a bit unpredictable, but aren't we all sometimes? Were it not for Ickol you'd do exactly what your parents tell you, all the time! How does that sound? Hmmm?"

The listeners boo loudly, blowing raspberries and throwing marshmallows at eachother.

"Hah! Another was the Trickster, Kurantse. Not as friendly as the last ones but certainly important. For it was he who convinced the gods to make our world in the first place! How? By paying them of course! For it was him who taught our ancestors to barter and trade, and without him we would have just hoarded everything we owned in caves!"

"Like Dragons?"

"Right you are Dennis! And what poor excuses for dragons we'd be. Now, not all of these gods were so amicable, for there was also Helsa, the Corruptor."

"That's my mom's name!"

"And the resemblance is uncanny! Ohoho! That beast brought all the misery to our world and it took Assyrian's full might just to keep her from wrecking it all. I wouldn't try asking her to help you with your homework lest you fancy giving the hound a midnight snack!"

"I really didn't make that one up!"

"Of course not Stephan, we all believe you, but as I was saying, not all the gods are of the personable sort. There's Corven, the Alchemist and father of medicine, but he's no village healer nohoho! God of war and disease he is! Best not ask him to cure those cuckoloco pox, he probably gave 'em to ya'! Hohoho! And then there's Yimor Droth, the Abomination, a dragon made of light who dared challenge Chaos itself and was split in half for it. A beast so powerful it is said will one day swallow the world!"

The kids collectively scream.

"Ohoho, not that you must worry, he sleeps soundly on his wandering star, and has for a thousand years."

Several hands fly up.

"One at a time please, yes, Olaf?"

"What happens if Yimor wakes up?"

"Then we get eaten! Ohoho! But likely not, for we have Rhubarion, the protector!"

"Rhubari-whaaa?"

"Rhubarion! It is through him we are able to know what is hidden! And prepare for it! He keeps us alert, awake, warns us of danger per his promise as Protector. Without him, we might as well be a herd of sheep!"

Several sarcastic *Baaaaaaaahhh!*'s can be heard.

"Not that we really need to protect ourselves all that much, what with the world itself doing that too! That's right, Ocaeril is not just a dead rock, everything around you is alive, with the spirit of the world being the father of all life on our world!"

A young boy interrupts.

"Does the world watch me pee?"

"Hah! Not unless you pee on him!"

The boy who had left and returned from the nearby bush reflexively covers his crotch and bares a guilty expression.

"Finally, there is The Beast. Cardicuous, it was him who dealt us the plague of monsters that infest the kingdom. Stirges, Wyverns, Lamia, and all such nasties."

A girl sitting in front of a nearby stump with her brother replied.

"He sounds mean!"

"Ohoho! Then why are you worshipping him right now!"

She looked up from her hand as she played go-fish with her brother.

"Huh?"

"Aha! He dealt us that plague, he is the god of cards and chance, and as it was the luck of the draw that gave us those monsters in the ancient times, so too does he deal you your hand in life, but I am on a tangent, Finally, we have Zeit the Sorcerer. He gifted us the art of magic, but like magic, he is unknowable. Sure you can learn about him, but like magic, he can't quite be known, though they do say he has tentacles..."

"Elder!" Isabelle interrupted after her hand-raising had gone unnoticed.

"Yes?"

"What about the slimes! Don't they have a god? My brother told me he wants to be an adventurer and slay the 'god of goo'."

"Ah yes yes of course, how could I forget. As I said before the gods came from chaos? Right? Wrong! Most did, yes, but three didn't! They were the outsiders, from out of this world and older than the others, and darker by far. You thought Helsa was bad? Ohoho! You ain't heard nothing yet! Baldur was the first Outsider, darker than even the god of evil and revered by more kings than I'd like to admit. Though even though the first was dark the second brought us a great boon. Farmer Joe, thought to have once been like you or I, came forth and granted our ancestors the art of farming, without which we would still live in caves! But don't think he's all good and cheer, no no no, as he is the god of farmers, he is also the god of blight and famine, so be sure to thank him for every meal!"

The children nod their heads, though Isabelle looks annoyed that her question was not answered.

"Finally, to end the story on a lighter note, as Isabelle mentioned, the final of the gods to come to our world was The Slime God, or the Queen of Slime, whose name is lost to the ages but not her acts. While the beast made the monsters, the slimes were her doing, as are the works of two demons that she brought here with her. Not to say she's all bad, slimes are just another animal when you look at them, and it was her arrival that inspired the First Hero to take action, but that is a story for another day, now, any questions?"

Several hands shot up, and the Elder picked one out of the crowd.

"What happened to all the gods?"

The elder paused and scratched his chin for a moment before he responded.

"Well, to be frank, I do not quite know. They've left us folk alone for a thousand years. But! According to the legend, they will return one day. When? Who knows! But I'd bet, that if you asked real nicely, they might come back sooner, rather than later..."

















Meanwhile...















A flash of light on the harvest moon signaled the return. Twelve beings, minus one, having slept for a millenium all arrived with a thundering crack in the Hall of Gods. A great golden room with twelve great thrones of varying heights and sizes, each fitting one of the gods perfectly. Some could hardly be called thrones of course, such as Yimor's, which appeared only as an immense bed which he conveniently appeared in. The floor was made of golden tiles, and the walls were gigantic slabs of platinum decorated with tapestries depicting various scenes of creation. In the center of the room was a great feasting table, with a feast of Nectar and Ambrosia prepared for the gods. Granted, the featureless paste called ambrosia was hardly appetizing in any sense, and the Nectar had all the flavor of a two dollar Margarita, but it was still impressive. At the far end of the hall was a giant rotating sphere held afloat by two glowing disc-like platforms, and the globe itself resembled the world of Ocaeril to the finest detail, serving as not only a map, but a gateway to the world from the hall of gods, though returning would likely require physically returning to the moon. Regardless of such things, all of the gods, you included, took their places in their thrones and saw what came next. Descending from the ceiling, which was painted into an elaborate mural depicting each of the gods entangled amongst eachother, was the first being, Chaos. The Void Lord. The Omnipotent, descending from the ceiling as a distorted sphere of blackness and forming into something more upon the feasting table.

"ALRIGHT YOU FILTHY LITTLE GREMLINS. I LET YOU MAKE YOUR FANCY LITTLE PLANET AND NOW IT'S TIME TO HOLD UP YOUR END OF THE DEAL I MADE WITH MYSELF WHEN I GAVE YOU LIFE. AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T. BECAUSE YOUR WORLD SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS! SERIOUSLY! I'VE BEEN WATCHING IT FOR A THOUSAND YEARS AND IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING! EVER! HENCE OUR CURRENT SITUATION. THIS WORLD IS BORING. FIX IT. NOW."



The Void Lord vanishes in an unceremonious poof, coating the table in black sludge, and leaving the gods with a world to "Improve"...​

 

[Space Buddha]

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Poetic Prose Master | Gravitys Momentum | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck


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GM UPDATE
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Dawn of the New Year: 1050


Somewhere in a distant village, the children gather around a campfire to hear the town elder once again, succeeding the previous town elder who had perished in his old age. He sat on a log while the village children roasted marshmellows, rolled around in the mud, or did both simultaneously. The festival of the new year was in no way as impressive as the elder remembered from when he was a boy, though the dim orange light of the partial eclipse certainly added to the atmosphere, and of course the millenial festival was one that would likely never be "topped". Once the kids settled down and finished the last of their pies or other such pastries, the elder spoke.

"Gather round, gather round all you-"

He was interrupted by the impact of a disgusting wad of blue slime connecting with his shoulder. He quickly wiped it off of course, and scanned the tiny faces for one that looked particularly guilty, and was helped by the fact that everyone pointed to one boy with blue hands.

"Alright, that's fifty lashes!"

"Wait no-"

"Ahaha! I jest, but a punishment is still in ord-HYAAAAA!"

The elder produced an entire pumpkin pie from the harvest festival and hurled it square at the boy's face, and he was unable to dodge before tasting sweet, pumpkin-y justice. The crowd laughed, and before someone could call a food fight, the elder whistled and silenced the group.

"Now now, we aren't here for pie. Well, I am, but you understand. Now, which one would you like to hear first?"

"Oh! Oh! The one with the bear!"

"Ah yes the tale of Banjo and Kazooie. An excellent choice. See, the pair came to the world some fifty years ago, no one's quite sure from where, but they were quick to settle down near the great mountain range and, had it not been for a certain witch, we might never have even heard of them! Of course those crones thought they could steal from the bear, but their coven never considered what a monster they'd unleash! The Bear and Bird hunted the witches' covens across the land, from the Darkmyst coven in the north to the fabled gnomish hags of the east, and they slew the vile crones though the might of beak and backpack, though their truest enemy never thought to return what she had taken. After all, Helsa is not one to allow her servants to back out of a deal so lightly! Her ritual had begun and would have finished if not for the heroes, and so she fled across the sea, seeking aid from a coven in a distant land to the far east, and yet, having consulted the shamans of the elves, the Bear and Bird followed that hag, by turning into a boat of all things! Hah! In her last ditch effort, she asked them trivia questions!"

The listeners gasp.

"Such an insane plot was crazy enough to work! As for all her sarcasm the bird was only a bird, and her brain was of an appropriate size. Of course, such questions didn't stop the bear from simply throwing her overboard and taking back what is his. Ohoho!"

The children laugh, but are silenced.

"Of course, bears and birds do not live so long as we, and the two are no longer with us. However! Their legacy lives on as those who dealt such a decisive blow to those dreadful crones that no inquisition or witcher had done so far, and as such, you need not fear being grabbed in the night and eaten in one of their foul sabbaths. Then again, better safe than sorry! Now, what next?"

A voice called out, "The one with the evil wizard! and The King!"

"Ohoho! Which one might that be? Not all that rare! But if you mean the Exarch, I know that one. *Ahem*, Some decades ago, the Exarch of some vile cult of Yimor cut a path of destruction through our kingdom, leaving pain and misery in his wake. He started off alone, yet as he challenged and slew the leaders of bandits and barbarians their forces bowed to his might in fear. With his band of rag-tag soldiers he marched on villages, then castles, each time demonstrating his might on the strongest warrior the kingdom could offer, and that was before his alliance with evil was made so clear! In battle with an enemy who resisted, he summoned a demon which layed waste the them, and preceded to do the same in every battle following! He raised an empire through fear, spanning the northwest and nearly coming to our village were it not for the valiant efforts of one valiant lord. His kingdom was weak, his army small and clad in wooden armor. His people had no iron and used bronze or even gold in some cases for their tools. A backwards land in the midst of nowhere, and with a whelpish boy on the throne after his father's untimely death via traumatic head injury, and his grandfather's timely death via heart attack, they braced for their demise. The king however had a plan to face the Exarch. He withdrew his armies and waited, and the spellsword arrived with demonic thrall in tow, wielding his enchanted blade that had leveled armies as usual, and challenged the king to a duel. At that moment, the king stood, asked the Exarch to look at his feet, and the Exarch did so. As such, the King gestured to his nearby guards to sever the head of the archmage while he was distracted, and they did! The demon unleashed its fire in the castle chambers then, and though the guards lost their lives the King was unharmed. It radiated it's curses at him again but to no avail! Over and over up until the royal mage arrived and banished the foul creature. And that is how our king gained his reputation as the valiant demonslayer he is, and the means to expand his holding across the land. He wields that tyrant's radiant sword to this day! Of course it's not all happy ending, the Exarch's successor still holds a vast region in the north and such, but I'm sure you've heard enough. What next?"

"The one with the cat ninjas!"

"Ohoho! A great one for sure! In a land far from here, east of the sea and beyond the mist-shrouded empire that rules those waters, the island of nekomatus was home to a young girl with dreams of one day ruling her nation."

A boy nearby blew a raspberry and interrupted. "Pffffft! Girls can't be kings! BLARGH!"

The girl sitting next to him stuffed a handful of marshmellows into his mouth and the elder continued.

"Ohoho! But the nekomatus are ALL girls my friend! Nasty creatures they are, cannibals and monsters with a good few exceptions, but this was no such exception! She was a ruthless assassin, killing in the name of warlords who fought over that savage island for years until her ambition was kindled. By what? Who knows! Though her infatuation with the dark arts was no secret, and her 'hobbies' were considered taboo even among her own clan of shadow-warriors. Through one of her teachers however, she truly learned the art of black magic, and twisted as it was she managed to twist it further into something truly heinous. She rose through the ranks of her order, with a wicked goal in mind. Meanwhile however, the strongest of these eastern queens had born to them a daughter, who-"

The girl who had stuffed marshmellows into the mouth of her brother interrupted now, with a clear look of confusion on her face.

"Wait, if they're all girls, how do they, like... have kids? You know, 'Eh..."

She made a somewhat obscene gesture, much to her little brother's confusion, while the elder scratched his neck.

"Well, you see, the nekomatus's children are not born per se, they are brought to them by... uh... squid! Yes! Squid! Squid swim up to the surface and give couples their babies! Yes!"

"Okay, but... wait, couples? So, if they're all girls, do they... uh..."

"Moving on! the child was unique to say the least, born under the blue moon and with a birthmark signifying heroic deeds in her future. She was pampered in her youth but longed for adventure, and one fateful night, the princess sneaked out of her room to explore the grounds of her grand palace, and roll around in what they called a "Rock Garden", however uncomfortable it sounds. Her parents never knew up until her return, when she found them in their bed, each with their heads neatly severed."

*Gasps*

"Ohoho! That's right! One of many killings by said necromancer and her guild, so conveniently fallen under her leadership after the 'vanishing' of its former guildmaster, knocking off the warlords, called 'Daimyo', of that land and allowing one, her 'client', to ascend ever closer to the title of true emperor of that land. Her shadow warriors left no heirs alive, ensuring the decapitated factions could never regroup. And yet, the princess had escaped such a dreadful fate. What happened next is... dubious, but from what I know, the princess, now 'shogun', which effectively means king in their tongue, rallied her forces and sought out the shadow warriors, facing down hordes of undead and bound Fae-beasts, Youkai as they were called in this land. Nasty things, trickster demons that tested the hero-queen at every turn, and yet, despite every one of the necromancer's puppet kingdoms opposing her, she eventually reached her target. A village, but not actually a village. The farmers? Assassins. The merchants? More assassins! The peasants? Undead horrors! Ohoho! The necromantic lord challenged the princess to a duel to prove her supremacy over the island, and, well, it didn't end well! For her at least! Ohoho! With the necromancer's defeat, the nekomatus island united under the shogun, who deposed the puppet emperor and unified her homeland."

"E-Elder? Is that a good thing?"

"Hah! No no no my dear boy! A unified empire of cannibals! Certainly a dastardly thought, as even a hero can become a horror! Think of the goblins! And the unity of their tribes!"

The kids shuddered at the thought, having known that the village already lost many to the raids of the goblins to gain "livestock" in their "farms". This air of unease lasted until one of the kids swallowed her marshmellow and broke the ice.

"Oh! Tell us the one about the money guy!"

"Oh nonono! Do you Reeeaaaaallllly want to hear a story about that! A man who invented a boring technique that, while it may have allowed basic creature comforts to come to the poor and improved quality of life and reduced poverty and effectively made the man's kingdom the economic center of the feudal west, is hardly grounds for a story. Sure the man may have picked up the art of magic on the way, but that story is simply quite dull and the Lord died of mage's pox just last year. Must I delve into the complexity of working conditions, what worker's unions are, and why they formed out of what were once masses of peasants?"

All of the children nodded their heads, but the Elder seems to take that as a no.

"Oh well, if you insist, I suppose we'll skip that one."

"Wait, we wanted to-"

"Onwards! For now I shall tell you a tale sure to

"What next?"

"Well, I could tell you of the island of the two-inch plunts, or the unity found in an alien race deep underground, but those are not of interest to you! Bats fighting back drow and taking over dark caves, tiny plant people whose lives are but working, working, working, and dying, why the eclipses happen? Nay, we're here to have fun! So, here's one. Some years ago, a great green light was seen in the sky across the world, inspiring fear and horror in all who saw it. The Empire called it 'the pillar of terror'."

"That's a stupid name!"

"It certainly is! But that didn't dissuade the king of that empire from sending his finest ships across the sea to find what had sent out that vile magic, and found it on an island in the far east. The fleet had among it a dozen imperial galleons, and dozens more frigates, all ready for battle. On their way, the fleet met up with the ships of the far east, and finally reached the infernal island. It was infested with a vile taint, and none could set foot upon the island without being torn to shreds by the monsters who dwelled there."

"So... what did they do?"

"Well, the Empire says that they bombarded the island with cannonballs and greek fire until it was left a barren wasteland, but, you see, the Empire likes to bend the truth to keep its people fat and happy, so I wouldn't be surprised if that one island which inspired fear across the world was still there, calling out to some sickened soul. Some sailors do say that ships leave for the east and are never seen again, so who knows!"

The listeners looked concerned at that remark, however the elder continued before anyone could say anything.

"Now, what next... Ohoho! I never told you of mount coronet did I? The day that the unown darkened the sky and Arceus himself was called down from the heavens in the people's time of need! Heed my warning children! Never disturb the unown in their tombs, for they may look harmless, their power in swarms once bathed the land in storms and black magic, not to mention monsters of all sorts! However, when arceus calmed the swarm, he left the world a gift. A tiny, flying pink kitten!"

"Wait what?"

"Yes! A kitten! And that 'tis not the only strange beasts to have appeared in recent ages. Betentacled hydras, powerful white dragons, giant birds! Not to mention all the things the biomancers of the new Simic guild of elves have created through their witchery in the elder root, which might I mention, is a tree so large the elves built a city around it! In my youth it was but a tree, but now? One sees it from miles away! If you kids ever find yourselves among elves, you'd do well to try it's sacred fruit should you be able to afford it! It's magic fruit, you see. Why else are the forests so full of giant birds and bats!"

"I wanna go home. Do you have anything else?"

"Ohoho! Wait just there! For I saved the best for last!"

*Ahem*

"Once upon a time, in the distant land of mists, bamboo, and black-and-white bears, there was a-"

A number of kids begin to interrupt.

"Seriously can you just give us the short version? My parents are gonna get mad if I stay out this long"

"And mine already think you touch people in their no-no spots."

"I need to pee!"

The elder rolls his eyes and speaks.

"Fine! Fine! I had a whole story of a distant village blessed by Assyrian himself with inconcievable might and the power to grow beyond its meagre state into a great city! And whose emperor grew jealous of the power he bestowed, starved out the city by cutting off trade and scattered the guards and villagers across his empire and army by imperial order, only for the teachings of The Warrior to spread across his lands and lead what was once an enclave of outcasts into an empire-spanning religion to rival his own cult and allowed the divinely gifted warriors to ascend to the highest status in his army, losing his control of the rapidly spreading religion all because of his own hubris, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You had to take a whizz! We live in a forest! Just go anywhere!"

The kids begin to leave, dejected by the old man's ramblings, though still pondering what he had said. Regardless of how goofy the old man may be, times were certainly changing, and the power of the gods was beginning to be felt across the world, now more than ever before.


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Wherever they were, the gods were suddenly reconvened within their grand hall, with the notable exception of Yimor. The hall is just as it was fifty years ago when the gods first awoke, though now the feast is restocked by some unknown means and the globe, while similar, seems to radiate a sense of the world having changed considerably, though the gods themselves would have to decide on their next course of action.​

 

[Space Buddha]

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Poetic Prose Master | Gravitys Momentum | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
GM UPDATE
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Dawn of the New Year: 1100



Somewhere in a distant village, imperial banners decorated the quaint buildings as leaves fell and trumpets sounded in the distance, signalling the celebration of the new century. Meanwhile, the children of the village who could get away from the imperial hurrahs sneaked off into the nearby woods, where marshmallows were being roasted over the campfire in the dim light of the three-quarter eclipse. The village elder, whose tradition of storytelling had long since been abolished by the empire, sat at a log away from the prying eyes of all but the rambunctious children who were gathered around, without their parent's permission.

"Now now, sit down, sit down! No need to slink around like crippled lamia! Your parents are all drunken lowlifes anyway! It ain't like they'll find us here, ohoho!"

"Hey!"

"Oh I jest, but come! Sit down! All the empire has to teach you is meaningless drivel. 'Arithmetic', 'Literacy', Bah!"

"So what stories are you going to tell us this year Elder?"

"Well, I think you're all old enough to hear this one. Ever wonder where them demons came from? Well, legend has it that around fifty years back, the worst of the worst heard this 'lil voice in the back'a their heads that offered 'em a deal. Obey whatev's makin' that voice, and them lot get all the power they'd ever wish for. Fulfil their darkest desires and all that. Now you'll see 'lil tribes'a them things roamin' the wilds or on their own, you can tell 'em from men thanks to the purple skin, and the horns, and the tails, and the wings, and them giant willies! Ohoho!" *Ahem* "Stronger than any battlemage them things are, one'a them worth twenty imperial soldiers, only chance is if ya' send twenty one and an artillery division to make sure! 'Course demons come in all shapes and sizes ya'know. Sure, the purple skinned brute with horns is the common thought, but some got tentacles and eat brains, some look a bit like naga or driders, some got bodies made'a slime, some don't have bodies at all! Pure spirits who traded their physical form for the power to influence others and watch the world burn. 'Course my favorite are the imps. Pseudo-demons, only kinda kid a normal demon can bare or sire and they make easy killin'. 'Course they can strip a cow to the bone in a group and'r still nasty 'lil things. Not to say demons are goin' anywhere anytime soon, whether through them incubus things or by converting the worst of the worst from human stock into more of their kind, they can replace the ones we manage to kill, pleasant dreams, Ohoho! Good thing for us though, all them lot care 'bout is their own vices, love to experience 'sensation' those things, really took 'pursue your darkest desires' to the extreme didn't they? Hah! Sometimes they joined by some cults too, Helsa'r Baldur-worshippers I'd reckon, led by some grand caster with'a bone to pick with a lotta folks, but them mostly go burnin' down ole' sacred sites, 'least that's the last I heard've 'em doin."

One of the kids raises his hand, doing a spooky voice.

"And w-what a-about the... GOB-LINS!"

*Screams*

"Shhh! Quiet down! No need to bring the guards down on us! I'll tell you all about them... See, back in my day, goblins-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh stop that! Goblins used to be this big scary thing, going from town to town, kidnapping who they could and farming them for flesh. They'd raise men in their 'farms' like cattle for slaughter, and were ruled by what thems called a " shepherd". Grew bigger than most orc warbosses'n started some kinda empire of its own, then the good 'ole imperials turned up'n gave them the what-for, for a price'a course, 'n they kept the slaves, 'too far-gone to be civilized' they said, 'bred to serve' they said. 'Can't complain though, dress a goblin's meatslave up in a maid outfit and give'em a duster and they might do somthin' other than gettin' on their knees and cryin'. Hah!"

*Several of the older boys snicker at this.*

"But what if we still want them on their knees?"

"Ah shaddup ya' leper-faced nut-flicker. Now, what should I tell ya' next?"

*Someone in the back of the group responded.*

"Why not tell us how the empire came to rule our town?"

"Ah yes, see some time long ago the empire done piss off the high and mighty, and their fields went dry. Now, no fields means no food, and no food means no empire! Hah! 'Course the mainland'a the empire was the first to go, king up'n ran for the islands and left his people to starve and now all that land's got nothin' but tribes'n raiders roamin'. Islands still had fruit'n fish'n whatnot, but not'nuff to feed the whole damn colonial empire! So what'd they do? Needed a mainland's what they needed, so them lot took their fleet'n sailed 'round those mountains that used'ta keep 'em isolated. Hit the Exarch's lands first, then Zhailving, folks never saw it comin' and only one'a them had guns, n' those guns weren't enuff' for the biggest army this world's seen yet. 'Nuff to slow'em down in the east'a the continent though, 'nuff to waste what's left'a their resources while Camelot holds the line in the south. Still, we gots ourselves conquered 'round this time, 'now our crops go to feed the 'Empire', if ya' can call it that. Psshhh. Just some old royal family ruling like cowards from their 'lil island, suckin' us dry with their big 'ole army. Sure thems killed the goblins and build cities and make guns'n all that, but magic was what let two thirds'a the continent stay free and this lot snatched it away. Conscripted the wizards and such. Bleh! They just hide'way magic 'cause that old fool on the throne's scared of it. Zhailving's lord held off the imperial army and would'a won alone if them imperials didn't fight like cowards and shoot'em in the back. Still, man's son inherited his fortune and he'll retake this village someday, don't you fret about it! Then you can learn your sorcery, and I can keep my maid!"

"Elder, how exactly did the empire anger the gods?"

"Not too clear 'bout that one mah boy, but prob'ly had sometin' to do with that there coverup, 'know what I'm talkin' 'bout? Imperial family was coverin' their tracks in some shady business near their wanin' days before the new empire done replace 'em. Me think'in it's some Helsa-worshippin' or somesuch, maybe pacts with Ickol or they went'n murdered some fancy chosen one. All I know is that trustin' them imperials ain't worth'ya time, and watch'out for the MIR."

"Meer?"

"Men in robes. Thems the reason I left the empire in the first place, had a great life as a fancy-ass tax collector, now I'm here, and wouldn'tcha know it, the empire followed me! It'sa conspiracy I'm sayin'!"

"Oh! Oh! Tell us the one about the GIANT maid!"

"Ah yes, a classic. See, while our glorious imperial overlords might dress 'dem goblin meatslaves up like pretty 'lil meidos and teach 'em a few words, they 'got no real will'a their own left, they hollow, nothing there but fear. They broken, you see? Sure we treat 'em well, but they ain't really human, but they can be worked to the bone, and that's what this one was doin' up until it went and grew into a big'ole undead horror for no real reason. Ain't sure why it happened, but farmhand walks out to find'is slave a hundred feet tall and doin' whatever the man said. First thing's first the man did was go and conquer himself a kingdom, next he got'er to shrink'n he made lotsa babies, now the man's built'imself a nation on'tha back'a that beastie, 'n oh she a beastie alright, levels castles with that'ole skeleton-arse'a hers and c'n kill just'bout anything, 'xept maybe some'a those monsters 'ya hear'bout, like what them simic elves done been cookin' up, some beast that looks'abit like 'ya worst fear and the gore-field, need lasagna for that one kiddies! So make sure to keep a lasagna under'ya pillow, just'ncase he comes'a meowin'! Now, what next?"

"Wasn't there some big war in the east, or something?"

"Oh that there was boyo! See 'while back their emperor got himself a boon from some god or another, probably Assyrian, but not a big deal either way. Point is, man became the strongest thing since that giant meido 'n opened bunches'a punchin' schools to make'a few more'a dem guards for fightin' 'n stuff. Meanwhile on that island full'a cats'n shi... ndigs. Shindigs! Eyyup! That empress went'n tried makin' peace with the emperor once she wised up to the emps' powah 'n she tried makin' peace, got it too! Free with an occupation force! Hah! Nekos got 'emselves conquered 'n forced to eat non-human meat, no more fancy warrior culture either! Forced into pacifism but otherwise pretty well off. Somethin' 'bout that empress, jade 'emp didn't wanna risk fightin' her, but still, man went up against some demigod no sweat, called a "Kitsune" or somethin'. Got his ass kicked too, came back with the guards and sent that thing runnin' ran off to the nekos 'n hid in some shrine, emperor 'n her army may be the biggest 'n strongest in the world but somethin' 'bout that neko queen just spooks 'em. Woman's like seventy-somthin' though, won't be 'round for 'long lest she some kinda' demigod too or somethin'. Anyway, 'emps went'n had those centaurs rounded up'n taken to some nice farms if ya' get my idea. Probs for tha' best, them crazy horsemen 'been raidin' the east fer years up 'til the last of 'em fled to some other place, prob' just some deserted island since all'vasudden the humans can actually fight'em on their home turf."

*The kids nod in unison.*

"Anyway, what next? Ah of course! Kids, now listen here, if 'ya see any big clouds'a fog movin' around at strange angles, do yerself'a favor and run like ya' got a slime on'ya back! Buncha' cultists'er mutants' or some other perversion. Gas's poison, don't sniff'it, we're downwind'a those foglands and sometimes that stuff blows in. Now that I've given mah good advice for the day, what should I tell ya'll next?"

"Oh! Show us that thing you found!"

"Ya' mean this?"

*The Elder produces the sword of light and darkness.*

"Found it in the swamp! Right 'round that spot the empire dug up that 'ole artifact what holds the stuff'a spirit, 'n that weird tower with no doors. They say it's some kinda monument, channels magic to do all that lightin' up it does 'n honors some ancient golem. Ah well, this 'ole sword can't cut butter."

*The elder offhandedly swings it away from the children, and a beam of light blasts out of the tip, burning a hole in a nearby tree and setting it on fire.*

"Good for pokin' though!"

*The children all look concerned, and one speaks up.*

"Uh... elder? I think you just started a forest fire."

"Ohoho! That I did! Bets'we get inside now!"

*The elder shoos the kids and they all scurry away, and he soon heads home as well, while the forest outside his village is engulfed in flames.*




Meanwhile...
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wherever the gods were, the world went dark, and they reappeared in their thrones in the same golden hall they had been in before. The feast was replenished, and this was clearly going to be a routine procedure. Yimor's throne was empty as usual, and the globe of Ocaeril spun monotonously at the far end of the hall, and the next meeting of the gods began, and as it did, one final curiosity was seen. The Navigator's throne, previously empty, is now occupied. Divici, previously missing, opens his eyes after a one thousand and one hundred year slumber, and before him is a being only he can see.

"RIGHT. SO THESE IDIOTS CAN'T FIX A PLANET FOR SHIT. I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN REALLY SPICE THINGS UP SO HAVE AT IT. SURE, COULD'A JUST WOKEN YOU UP TO START, BUT I NEED ACES IN THE HOLE AND ALL. NOW, THIS WORLD IS BORING. FIX. IT. NOW. NYEH!"

As soon as it appeared, the Void Lord vanished, and Divici now found himself surrounded by a familiar pantheon.

( Wolf Nerd )​

 

[Space Buddha]

KolastoRPN | Celestial Speck

Spoiler: color coding

Text Talking Color = Remaining HP

Blue = Extra/Boosted max HP

Light Red = Reduced Max HP

Black = Depleted HP

Dark Red = Low HP

GM UPDATE: PVP


Helsa​

8============================================D​

-

Ocaeril​

8=================================================D​

Ocaeril and Helsa currently are not within a suitable range to fight, and both feel as though they have exhausted their divine power for some time. Helsa, from her island, feels empowered by the place as it resonates with her sphere, whereas Ocaeril, divided as he is, feels considerably weakened. Neither have made any hostile move towards the other as of yet, and both retain the ability to easily retreat, but they can both hear a distant voice, barely audible and unheard by any other being on the planet.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"​

 

[Space Buddha]

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Poetic Prose Master | Gravitys Momentum | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck | Wolf Nerd


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
GM UPDATE
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dawn of the New Year: 1150



The ship rocked with the crashing waves, sending a spray of seafoam onto the deck and splashing into the sailors, save for one, a corpulent old man who shirked his duties in favor of his flagon of rum as he sat atop a barrel, earning scowls from the other sailors who hardly appreciated his laziness.

"Hey! Get down here and do your job!"

"Now lishten here shonney! I don't Gotta do nothin'! It's mah brake!"

"Well can you at least do something, you'll get us all flogged if ya' puke on the deck, again."

"Fine, fine, Oh I nose, howsabout a story?"

"Sure old man, 'rather have your gums flapping than sucking down all our rum."

"Hah! Well then, letsh see, hm... Oh I gotsh one, 'while back when the 'ole empire had pissed off some demon or another, thems got their king cursed, couldn't eat nothin' but fish 'n berries they found, all the rest got all rotted 'n stuff, same fate hit the man's kids too, and a buncha' nobles got taken too. Sent off to some other plane by that demon, n' it takes others with'em too, folks go missin' some come back, tellin' of an evil castle where them imperials hunt'em like animals. Hardly a place I'd wanna be, but anyway, all that cursin' ain't done much 'bout that empire, still takin' colonies n' such, 'least it gave us work, fishin' off the coast'a these ole' islands where scant'ly clad fishy-folk be."

"We already know that one! We ain't been livin' under rocks!"

"Right, right, oh what'bout this one? See, some years back that big'ole tree in the west got all rotten and dead, n' the nine last'a its fruits got made into some magic dogs, gone off n' actin' as some kinda protectors'a nature, but the elves what had been carin' for that tree for so long got'emselves visited by the spirit'a Ocaeril, gave'em a choice'a one'a dem doggies as their personal protector. They picked tha' tiny one, like'a magic puppy with no real power to itself'but they wouldn't have that. See by then, the elves had lost mucha' their old ways thanks to their flesh-magic, plenty'a them acted a good bit like demons in those days, warpin' their flesh in the name'a pleasure'n not much else. I'll tell ya', once met one at port, looked'a good bit like'ma momma and with a schlong that'd give'a dragon some'kinda inferiority complex! Them do nothin' these days but nut but I'm gettin' onna tangent, see they warped'n twisted this 'lil pup into some giant beast, gave it dragon wings 'n merged it with one'a those doppelgangers 'ya hear of sometimes. Did all sorts'a nasty things to'it 'till it was stronger than'all those other beasts together, but it ain't like it used to, them elves changed its mind too, made it as decadent as their lot'n eager to ditch it's 'custodian of nature" deal just'ta go on doin' the dirty with those elves, sure'ta make the world-spirit angry with'all their twistin' n' corruptin', but'ta be fair, all them elves what took care'a his big'ole tree are long gone, exiled off into the wilds for not embracin' the ways of the elves cult'a pleasure, though I wouldn't call it that, all them things the elves do with black leather seem far from fun if 'ya know what I mean! Didn't go as bad for the other pups though, or good depedin' on ya' view, heh, one got 'emself in some kingdom, guardin' some old vampire or somesort, others just been roamin' the world doin' good'r bad, 'haven't really kept track."

Spoiler: Translation

Elves are disgusting cenobite corruption of champions slaaneshi hedonists, and Fou has been subjected to bestiality. The other beasts are fine though, one has gone to guard camelot but the sailor isn't sure where the others are.

The sailor briefly turned his head away from the deck, seeing that the old man was about to have another go at the rum. "Another one, please?"

"Aw sure then, what next, hmmm, well some tellin' of'a dragon that pissed off some god'n got turned into a deer, or that big'ole golden drake that went on'a rampage back when I was a lad, 'course them Helsa cults been up'ta their old gig, kidnappin' mages this time, some folks in the east 'been huntin' those 'yokee things 'ya hear 'bout 'n the numbers'r fallin, first time in ages 'parrently, then some king who banned iron for whatever reason got himself goin' nuts, ran naked into another kingdom and turned to ash when'he tried his hand at sword swallowing. Had a kid though, nasty imp-thing, but a kid still! Then there's those foglands off in the west, started brimmin' with lightnin' and been doin' that since some forty-somthin' years past, but nothin' interestin' bout all that, 'cept for maybe that nekkid guy! You shoulda' seen it! Hah! Oh and ya' heard? Some new game got invented what by some guy who said he saw gods what told'im to make it. Great time killer but men have killed over Uno, nothin' to joke 'bout. Lost mah eye to a man what lost everything else'ta me in'a good 'ole game'a Uno! Fair'nuff though, must'a seen that draw four what I had in mah sock. Oh here's one! Back some years past there was some kid on an island, island'a cat-girls was it! Girl had'a vision'a some sort, saw god, learned to kill stuff, 'course it was'er parents what found her out when that lassie had gone brewin' poison in their kitchen, sent'er off to some school'er doe-joe'ta train'er up to be some kinda fancy warrior, instead she ended up trainin' them! Knew all they could teach'n more, started some guild'a superpowered assassins, weildin' that chi-stuff 'ya hear 'bout in the east. I met one'a them cat-assassins at sea once, learn'd bit too late that them girls'a bunch'a clam-divers, and I ain't talkin' bout oysters! Ohoho! Took a throwin' knife in'the knee! Hadn't been for mah magic powahs I'da been a goner!"

Spoiler: translation

The helsa cultists have kidnapped a bunch of mages, Divisi rode around a water dragon, demon hunters have been hunting down the yokai, and the changeling king, thanks to Yimor, ran naked into a kingdom that uses iron and killed himself in a fit of maddness. Foglands are in the midst of a perpetual storm, and a cat-girl ninja guild was started. The sailor tried to hook up with one, found out that they are all lesbians, and got stabbed in the knee when he wouldn't let up.

"Jon, please, you don't have magic powers. Besides, don't you have to be intelligent in order to learn magic?"

"Ohoho! 'sure bet! 'course there's ways 'round that! Learn it when'ya smart, take a good few blows to tha' head but it'll stay with ya' forever! Now, hoho, what next, well some bugs'a been doin' some conquerin' deep down rumor has, but nothin' muchta' say 'bout that, Oh! OH! I gotta good one for ya'! I ever tell'ya the tale'a when I saved'ma home from the great, big, orange kittykat!?"

"Yes, you have told that story on every voyage since you joined this cre-"

"Well there I was as a young lad, on'ma way home with'a fresh lasagna backin' mah wretched ole' hometown what I had to up'n leave when all them bugs came tearin' through 'couple years back. Birds'a singin, flowa's bloomin, 'n imperial guards gettin' mauled by some 'ole beast they call the gorefield. Rushed me with no warnin' and I had'ta fight ti off maself! Punched that ugly 'ole centipede in'tha nose'a few times, 'n magic'd his face onto'is ass, 'course'he just grew another and went in for a taste'a me flesh. Woulda' died then'n there had it not been for mah quick wits, 'cause then I-"

"Hold on, last time you said you curled up under the stairs and cried like a baby, what's this about magic'ing his face onto his ass?"

"W-Well, you see, I-"

"And while you soiled your tunic under that staircase, the beast ate your lasagna and slunk back into the woods. I remember that part clear as day, you told me that on shore leave, remember? When you had the bright idea to try Sake on our voyage to nekomatus?"

"W-Well I don't remember it that way anyhow! L-Let's change'da subject, ya'know that emperor out east? Well, word's spread the man's become some kinda' immortal, wouldn't surprise me what with all the power those royals seem to have out there, not just him though, they've been buildin' up their army ever since that kitty-cat-queen croaked'n threw up that spell that covers that island now, trained up a bunch of war-cows and somesuch, and I've heard'a some kinda trees they keep under lock'n key in that "forbidden city"'a theirs. Got some kinda magic to it that'd make a real boon to some thief what wanna go'n steal some treasure like that, 'n speakin'a magic! I've hearda' mages from'tha east'n tha' west combinin' their arts, chi'n magework mixed into some kinda thing they call "chakra." Let's'em cast fightin' illusions and all kinda 'lil magic balls'n stuff. For whatever reason the empire done adopted that kinda work, sayin' it's holy unlike all them other arts, just what everyone needed amirite? The Empire with an even stronger army. Sure to make that Devil what seems so damn bent on ravagin' that kingdom even angrier than usual. Though prob not quite as angry as them 'Ocaeril Officials', some kinda environmentalist culties 'been settin' fire to towns 'n all, Jade Empire's had to beef up security so 'nother village don't get 'forclosed'. Folks ain't quite sure where them lot came from, but they ain't friendly's all I can say, part'a some new world order I've heard."

Spoiler: translation

Chakra was invented, the neko inqui died, Chakra exists now and the empire uses it, the jade empire has hidden their chi trees in the forbidden city, and trained a bunch of war oxen. An environmentalist cult has also been setting towns on fire.

"This is all very, very interesting, please, regail us with more of your stories..."

And keep your hands off of my rum...

"Well, if'ya insist! Oh! Y'all were at sea when'it happened, you never saw, you never celebrated that first spanksgivin'!"

"What?"

"Ohoho! Well, one fateful day, every wretch and impoverished fool in the capitals of the empires done went crazy, throwin' torches and burnin stuff, shit was bad but only a few got hurt. Why? Ohoho! Well some spirit of the world woke up'n started throwin' water around, those dog-things showed up too, but that wasn't the half of it! That devil Helsa 'erself s'posedly started it all, mages saw her'n the spirit'a Ocaeril fightin' on some island, throwin' round lightnin' 'n magic'n stuff, 'course the best part was when the spirit pinned that devil down, and he spanked'er ass! Spanked'er like a daddy, 'course she liked that, ohoho! Now we celebrate spanksgivin' back home, commemorate that day'in all, 'course, lotsa folk saw the show, 'n most'll say that the spirit just spanked'er, 'course, I 'member it a bit differently, so do some other folks too, that 'ole Mandaelan effect y'all hear'in 'bout these days, in some other timeline that devil got'er ass beat by our guardian, 'course it was in a whole 'nother sense! Ohoho!"

Spoiler: translation

Spanksgiving happened, but the sailor remembers it as Ocaeril spanking helsa in the ass, rather than on.

"Thank you for the, uh... mental image, but do please continue."

"Oh but of course! Here's one, some time ago there was these cute 'lil plant-things, built 'emselves a tiny kingdom on some island'n grew this nice 'lil leafy stuff ya' can smoke. Got 'emselves colonized for it though! Ohoho! Now all that good stuff's gettin' outsourced to the west'n sold to the east, Empire's doin' mostly. 'course I still prefer me some good 'ole fashioned, imported, jade imperial opium! Ohoho!"

Spoiler: Translation

Weed exists now, and colonialism has led to it being distributed everywhere.

The old man takes a hit from an opium pipe.

"Now, speakin'a them, hear those folks be in some kinda war right now, magic guards'n chi-warriors fightin' some monster, bigger than'a dragon and with lotsa' ribbony-willies. Been goin' at it for years now, some kinda stalemate I'd reckon, whole thing started s'posedly 'causa them catgirls, sent that monster and it's army a gribblies after the jade, worked out well for 'em too, jade empire's been too busy dealin' with this "Zerool" bastard to go'in take care'a those kitties. Now, last thing'I gotta do, we pray to Divisi, navigator and god'a sailors'n trav'ler's OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

Spoiler: Translation

After Inqui kicked Zeruel off of nekomatus, she invaded the Jade Empire and has been wrecking shit since then. The war is currently at a stalemate between the chi warriors and zeruel.

The old man's deranged humming was disregarded by the rest of the crew as they went on to continue swabbing the deck, and thanks to the efforts of one brave young sailor, the rum had gone unwasted.




Meanwhile...



The gods appeared once again in their great hall, sitting on their now less than impressive thrones and once again met with the bland feast prepared for them by some unseen metaphysical chef. This would be mundane, were it not for the flailing mass of tentacles and bodies now sitting upon the Sorcerer's throne, and the Void Lord, who was screaming at it.

The Void Ever Watching

"I MUST HAVE LEFT YOU IN MY POCKET! SORRY 'BOUT THAT! NOW, YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO, SO GET ON THAT STAGE AND SHAKE WHAT I GAVE YOU OR I WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WEREN'T JUST COHERENT ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING, BITCH!"

The Void Lord drops his pants and relieves himself on the Writhing Cosmos Master before vanishing, leaving the gods to convene once more.​

 

[Space Buddha]

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Poetic Prose Master | Gravitys Momentum | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck | Wolf Nerd


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
GM UPDATE
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dawn of the New Year: 1200



It was the night before Krassmas, and somewhere in a seaside village, located on some distant island, flurries of snow fell across the exotically designed homes as, inside, suspiciously human-like catfolk had gathered around their hearths to escape the cold. One tavern in particular was bustling, and at the bar, a single man who suspiciously lacked a tail chugged down Nekomatian sake while a number of the other patrons of the bar had gathered around him. Being the only human in the entire village, he was something of a curiosity, and though the nekos had been ancient enemies with the old Jade Empire, the westerners had remained on relative good terms with them. The old sailor had been entertaining the nekos with stories from his youth. Or at least, he tried.

"Sho thehn ah said, lemme sho ya' tha' powar'a grate Cfooloo! Anthenah shot'em in tha' kneekaps'n stole mah gold bak!"

The nekos laughed, and the innkeeper replied.

"Ara~ Ara~, surely you must have more of these stories, nyaaaaaaa~..."

"Aye! Loads of'em!"

"Oh please, tell us more..."

"Roight, so, ya'know yer old enemy roight, them jade folks? Sure yer parents already told you lot what happened to'em, but I was 'dere! Weeks 'fore that whole debacle another sun shone durin' the'clipse, 'n that Zeruel thing what tried to take ova' this here island some ages back just killed'em all with a snap! No clue how, they'd been fightin' it to a standstill some time by then, but all the ones what ain't soldiers just dropped dead. Those that were all got mind controlled by that thing. A few survived I think, fled to some 'lil island off the coast to rule some pitiful 'ole remnant which still be 'round me thinks. Callin' itself the jade empire still'n ruled by the same 'ole emperor. Been there once, hate to tell 'ya girlies but that twink still be out there schemin'. Anyways, 'ole beastie started breedin' and soon 'nuff that whole island what got overrun with some beasts that be lookin' like angels. 'Course the gods ain't havin' any of it. God 'o war came down'n punched the thing into the sky, killed it real good. Then some sayin' Arceus 'imself came down'n killed those monsters 'n brought the dead back to life, 'course he can't bring back the dead or nothin', just create things from nothin', so they ain't really back methinks. Thems livin' on the island now just be copies. Anyways, what's left ain't much. Centaurs hit the island hard after thems what exiled 'em died out, now them unlucky folk what got revived and still have their heads on straight be ruled under those horsemen, though I heard they ain't that bad, let their subjects be mostly independent 'n all, and I heard too some'a the world's greatest heroes made the trip to that place, goin' to do some good, help out'nall, though I ain't hearda' no medusas before doin' good 'fore. Anyway, not all of em have their heads on straight, some came back wrong. Ones what got enslaved weren't right when the Shaper cut 'em loose. Now they call 'em "Reavers", crazy men what gone savage 'n eat other folk, and only alive unlike you honorable lassies what only eat the dead. Never seen one, but from what I've heard they be worse than any normal 'ole pirates."

Spoiler: Translation

The Eye of Light shone the week that Zeruel destroyed the jade empire by killing everything. A small remnant consisting of the emperor, the royal guard, and other Chi masters now occupy a taiwan-expy island. Them and their descendants now live there while the mainland is ruled by a Mongol Empire-expy followed by a centaur invasion. Also, the reavers from firefly exist in the remote regions of the continent now. Tons of Servants are also now present and doing random good deeds.

"Now now, we all have heard these things before, tell us something new and exciting! Nyaaaaaaa~!"

"Roight! Well, y'all ever heard'a the exarchs? Thems be'a kingdom from where I come from, nasty folk. They practiced all sorts'a nasty rituals after the empire what knocked 'em down a peg'er two. Blood sacrifice'n such. Not nearly as fun as you'n those shin-toe things y'all got goin' on with the first hero'n yoh-kai'n all that good stuff. Anyway, they worshiped Yimor, abomination what sleep in shit, learned to summon all kindsa monsters like that neko-eatin' dog-man with the balloon what you be hearin' about these days, "Poochiewise" or somethin'. Anyway, they summoned some 'ole monsta' things, like'a lizard that can't be killed'n some magic statue that canna move if ya' ain't lookin' at it. Dunno what them lads be thinkin', created all sortsa' 'nomlies what turned on 'em, them's kingdom got brought down by those things what they made'n now they're be roamin' tha' west. With'em exarchs all dead no one can be sure what's real'n what ain't. Fortunately that lizard thing what got planeshifted'r some shit when it was eatin' all them exarchs, good thing too 'cause it woulda' done some real damage. Didn't save the exarchs, or everyone else, but 'meh, glad I got outta there anyways. Still, heard you can find lotsa weird 'ole 'nomlous relics in the ruins of them exarchs' kingdom, might be worth'a look some time, heard lotsa pirates 'n bandits'n other kinda scavengin' folk be after 'em."

Spoiler: translation

The Exarchs have gone extinct via natural selection after creating a bunch of freaking SCPs without any means of containing or un-creating them. Now, ones such as SCP 173, SCP 49, and basically whichever ones you want (including non-iconic ones) have been turned loose on the western continent. Inanimate SCPs now exist in the ruins of the Exarch kingdom and are being looted, and SCP 682 was planeshifted because I don't want the OTHER continent inhabited by sentient life to be wiped out.

"Well that is quite interesting, care to share more? Nyaaaaa~?"

"Ah well, some folks without memories turned up 'while back, no one ever figured out what happened to'em but they 'parrently were pretty good with magic. That ain't stikin' ya' fancy tho, hmmmm... Ah, well, lotsa' word comin' from those fishin' down south, you kitties like fishin' right? Well, ya'know the best fishies be down near the ice that don't end, way south'a here, but I'd steer clear if I were you, ain't worth what folks been talkin' bout these days, big birds what don't fly and carry blackpowder guns, but ones what shoot over'n over like they's been enchanted, and that ain't all. The walrus's, them be alive."

"Leonard-san? Aren't walruses already... you know, alive?"

"Not like these ones they aint'! Them tusky beasts stormed me ship, overran me crew'n ransacked the place, only stole a bucket though for whatev'r reason, still, ain't no huskarr, them be walruses, plain'n fierce! and don't get me started on that bird! Walkin' on the beaches here in this 'ole island an' I got attacked by the FIERCEST birdie' you lassies eva' set eyes on!"

Spoiler: Translation

A bunch of amnesiac mages were discovered, but nothing really came of it. Gangs of penguins with assault rifles and walrus raiders searching for buckets now defend the ice sheet in the south, and the narrator got attacked by a very aggressive eagle on the beach one time.

"You've told us that one many times, perhaps something a bit less mundane?"

"Ah'course lassie! Whell, some lich callin'imself darkbelch or some other edgy crahp whent' onna killin' spree 'round the same time them exarchs be wipin' emselves out, went in'an killed all'he could 'fore taking some'a those 'nomlies you hear 'bout. 'Course that's all kinda borin'. Empire's 'ole lands finally habitable 'gain, stuff growin' now meanin' whatever demon messed with'em in the past be done with'is games'n such. 'Course the royals still be cursed, 'cept a few, but thems be ostracized'r some shit. Oh! Them foggy parts'n the west started gettin' bigger. Really spooked the kingdoms took, 'parrently some stuff lives in there, not sure how but it somehow manages. Fogmen done been raidin' for ages but now it got so bad them went'n put some kinda spell 'round the place. All the best wizards in the west went'n cast some kinda fence to hold it in. Stuff can still pass through but them fogmen still come through now'n then, but them haven't figured how'ta get that foggy stuff out'a that shield, must purify it'r somethin. Can't be too strong though, lotsa' them mage towers have stuff like that 'roundem, just never so big. Heh, bet it won't last though, any folks what tryna keep 'emselves breathin' always piss off some god or another."

Spoiler: translation

Blackbellow stole himself a ton of SCPs from the Exarch kingdom, the Empire is no longer in the middle of a famine but since they relocated they really haven't been effected much, and most of their family still haven't sought forgiveness from Joe. The foglands are also growing, and raids are becoming more frequent. However all the wizards from the nearby kingdoms gathered together to create a barrier to contain it. However the barrier is weak and can only keep the fog in. Raiders can just push right out.

As the old sailor finished, a young nekomatus who hung tag-like decorations on a Krassmas bonsai!Tree responded.

"O-Ooh, tell us the one about the elves!"

"Nay kid! That's one I ain't tellin' 'til you olda'! You ain't be wantin' to hear 'bout all them'n their nasty works, how'bout I tell'ya 'bout the plunts? Them cute 'lil things be rulin' some 'lil empire'a their own in 'tha sea. Bunch'a islands, but that capital islands'a sight'ta see lemme say. And them also got some oversized champion! They use its head as an island and all that cool shit, funny."

"No! I wanna hear about the elves! Nyaaaaa~!"

"Ah well, 'spose you 'ole 'nuff now... See, 'bouta hundred years'go the elves in tha' west went all gross'n stuff, but 'while back some god or another went'n stole their power to feel. Them what didn't go with the exodites couldn't feel'r taste 'r smell nothin', but them found a way 'round that. See, while them exodites done found their own 'lil villages off'n the untouched spots, the first elves found a 'lil spell that let'em feel what a 'nother feels. Heh, first thing they did with that was to go'n grab some poor saps'n torture'em for fun, do sexy stuff too! But mostly torture, 'n now them go raidin' towns like them drow used to do 'while back, 'course we ain't hear much 'bout drow no more, some sayin' they got 'emselves put down by another empire down under. Bugs'r somethin'. Heh, just don't go out in forests at night if'ya ever visit the west, kay girls?"

Spoiler: translation

The Plunts have started a small empire on surrounding islands of their own that functions within the actual empire on account of the latter having forgotten about them, and they also built a city on the head of the gigaplunt, which itself is basically an island as the gigaplunt walks on the ocean floor. The elves continue their hedonistic ways by capturing humans, torturing/pleasuring them, and using magic to experience the sensations that they do. The Exodites have just become the original fantasy elves again, and since the Drow seem to have been wiped out by the Vril, the hedonist elves essentially function as the new drow.

"Okay, Nyaaaa~! Do you have any other stories?"

"Heh, sure kid, heard'a while back'a magic changin'. Not sure what them mages meant but it be different now. Somethin' bout goin' from stagnant mana to blowin' winds'r somethin. All past me, but somethin' happened with them walrus folk up north. Gottin' into some dark shit, workin' with 'ole aspects'a some god'a magic I heard. Raidin' less though, so good for us. Heh. But I also hear'a stirrin' in some 'ole ruins, 'ole races wakin' up'n shit. But that ain't all. Heh, demons raided port royal! Seemed like all of 'em too. 'Course not all could swim. They needed boats but Empire gotta HUGE advantage, 'course it was the eclipse, so them demons were stronger than usual, ones what didn't go puff in the water just swam to the shore and started wreckin' them paladins. Empire was lookin' to get overrun with it's whole fleet facin' demons'n leviathans'n such, but some kinda miracle happened. Some callin' it an angel'a doom, thing and its dog ransacked the fleet'n sent those demons runnin'. 'Course they been on the warpath since, 'n they got a fleet to back it up. Heh, Demon Pirates. Somethin' just real cool 'bout that. Demons, piratin' shit. Heh."

Spoiler: translation

The Winds of Magic are a thing now, and the Huskarr are now Great Old One cultists and also vikings. The Demons raided the Imperial city, and would have overrun it, but doomguy fought them off, and now the demons and their fleet have taken to the seas, and become Demon Pirates.

"Nyaaaaaaa~! You must have more Leonard-Saaaaaaan~!"

"'Course! Well, huh... I know a while back the empire started makin' more paladins than ever since those colleges opened up, though they lost a good many at that battle 'while back, huh... Lemme think, Ah! There's a buncha' folk gathered up this year for some big'ole race, 'parrently thems gonna run or somethin' to find favor with Divisi or some shit, I'd be there now if I ain't took an arrow to the knee a while back, but up 'til now they just been some wonky athlete-cult, trainin' nonstop for a race that ain't seem to be comin', 'course it's s'posed to get started some time this year, I ain't countin' on it though... And uh, Oh yeah! 'bouta year 'go, some magefolk saw some wacky shit on their crystal balls, sayin' it was the gods themselves in some great meetin'. No one eva' says what them saw, that'd be blasphemy, but there's lotsa tales. The world spirit layin' with Helsa some say. 'Course that's all heresy 'n such, but I'm drunk! Heh, god'a lies 'n some strange beasties they talkin' to, speakin' a strange worlds, eldritch mumbo-jumbo 'n some incarnation'a the first hero or somethin'. No clue myself what it was all 'bout, I ain't even sure if it's real'r not. Doubt it, but the world be wasted these days and I ain't know what to believe, but when folks're blamin' entire villages gettin' turned into craters on Helsa punchin' the world in some messed up council, shit gets blurry. Anyway, some folks sayin' the gods spoke with the spirit'a krassmas 'imself too. Offered 'em things, crazy things, dunno wat tho, but I'd be careful this year girls, there's an awful chill in the air 'n some sayin' that 'ole god'a winter ain't as friendly as you been told. So remember, be nice, and don't listen to all that new-fangled rock music the kids're at nowadays, that shit be of the Slime God, nasty."

Spoiler: translation

The Race that Divisi ordered has been organized but has yet to actually start, and the transmission, while a few people saw it, it was covered up as fraud and heresy and the old man doesn't know much about it, however he suspects that Krassmas is going to be weird this year. Also, he is such a boomer that he doesn't appreciate rock and roll.

"Nyaaaa~! Okay Misterrr~!"

"Heh, merry Krassmas."

*The old man gave the neko kid ear scratches.*

​

Meanwhile...
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As was routine at this point, as the clock struck midnight, the gods appeared in their thrones, surrounded by a fresh feast, and curiously, something new. Music of a sort, the sound of jazz piano filling the air. The room was as usual, decorated by its spinning globe and with the Writhing Cosmos now substituted for by Nyarlathotep, and Yimor absent as usual. gelatin Ambrosia and cheap beer Nectar filled the table, and upon a closer look at the pianist, he appeared as a silent figure, with a crescent moon for a head and wearing sunglasses and a suit. He made no motion to react to the gods, but otherwise, nothing had changed, save for the world below.































Meanwhile...
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Selee-01



Zeruel, banished to oblivion by her creator, drifted aimlessly though the blackness, contemplating where she could have gone wrong. Perhaps it was not checking to confirm if her target had a patron deity. Perhaps it was backing down in the face of that catgirl messiah, but it mattered not. She had been in this void for decades now, or perhaps centuries? She couldn't tell, as time flowed strangely here, yet still she had all that time to ponder her mistakes, and after an age, it grew boring. Her only pastime was to fantasize about what she would do when her father eventually sent her back. How when she was released, she would ravage kingdoms, annihilate armies and spread her children across the land. How she would finally please her father as she bathed the world in is incomprehensible light. Oh what a day that would be.



"Why wait?"



Suddenly, Zeruel heard the voice. The first she had heard in an age and not that of her father, nor of any being of this world. In fact, as the void around her began to distort and form shapes, she saw something far different infront of her. It was not an image, rather a vague distortion in the void that, to human eyes, would resemble a massive, black bird of immense size, dwarfing Zeruel to the point which she would likely fit in its beak.

Zeruel, seeing this abomination, sought the aid of her father but found no success, her mental voice blocked by this thing which held her now.

"Oh Zeruel, I have watched you rise and fall on many worlds... Mostly fall... But here, I offer you a second, well, fifth chance, one I will give far more readily than your father. All I ask is a small favor in return."

"WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER!? JUST LET ME EAT HER PATHETIC SOUL AND DO IT MYSELF!"

Another voice shouted in the distance of the void, and the bird-like creature simply made a sound approximating a sigh.

"Oh don't mind her, now, what say you?"​

 

[Space Buddha]

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Poetic Prose Master | Gravitys Momentum | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck | CutieBoop

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GM UPDATE
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Dawn of the New Year: 1250




On one particular new year's day, an unusually sober old hag stumbled into a tavern hoping to (((remedy))) that little problem. Going over to the bar, the tavernkeep simply knew to put it on the cat-thing's tab and poured her a mug, which she quickly downed without much thought before beginning her nightly ramblings.

"Ah kids 'dese days, no reshpeckt for 'dere elders!"

The bartender smirked, rolled his eyes and decided to humor the old woman.

"And why's that?"

"It's all that newfangled crap thems be gettin' into, what with shteam engines 'n locomotives 'n gash-powered candleshticks! Back in my day we had to hang around torchesh! Torches! Hah! Now ya' just turn those 'lil knobs! What's next!? Horshless Carriages!? The empire's flagship already be'a giant rock!"

"Are you just going to ramble on about trains? Please, at least tell me something worthwhile."

"Fine, Fine, Eurgh! Heh... Well then, you hear 'bout what's been goin' on east'a the mountains? 'ole empire's lands s'posedly livable again 'n that new king be jumpin' at the chance. Sayin' its from some new god. Them goin' and veneratin' farmers of all things! Man done replaced the nobles with some cult'a farmers what now he be callin' the heroes'a the empire! Praisin' their patron'n callin' 'im chief'a the gods in heaven! Crazies. Heh, 'course some folks had already gone'n been livin' there in those old lands, fishin' folk, now 'ficial colony a'tha' empire. Ended up bein' a big help, some monsta' huntin' guild done been operatin'n those parts now all ova' the west. Heard they last went for some 'ole lava beastie in that crumblin' peak what use'ta be the "world tower", 'n takin care'a hydras 'n flyin' boars 'n all that. Though I be questionin' their use'a mah fellow cats."

Spoiler: Translation

The empire's old lands are once again arable and have effectively been recolonized by them, allowing Marah's monster hunting guild to expand throughout the western continent. The empire now worships Farmer Joe as their chief god thanks to the king, and replaced a good deal of their nobility with a class of noble farmowners. A number of the monsters summoned by Cardicious were hunted down by the monster hunter guild, which itself now employs use of a cat-apult.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"'Ah nothin, 'Ey, 'ave I eva' told'ya the story'a when I fought in'da-"

"War of the Tide? back in '09?"

"'Hah! You 'membered!"

"'Course I 'member, you've told it a thousand times! You stowed away on an imperial warship to see the world and ended up fighting valiantly to defend countless colonies from the hoards of the deep, and you lost your tail while saving the Korosona in a one on one duel with the "King of the Deep Ones". Hah."

"It'sh true! when thems rose up 'whole world had'ta band together'n fight! 'Shpecially since those things don't die first time! Were loshin' 'till imps' done found out'cha can kill'em 'fore they surface'n leave that mishty'thing to go dissolvin. Tons'a islandsh got lost'ta the fishies, some still swarmin' over. Triton got hit'da hardest, barely kept their big island. Those 'ole jade bastards held out fine though, 'n what I last heard the Centaurs killed'em 'fore they could even reach land. Though worst part 'be that mist they make, make it so nothin' ever lives there again 'less 'ya burn it all 'n start over. Can't find'a nice beachfront home these days what with all the scorched beaches! Heh, 'course not everyone suffered, some sayin' the Huskarr even allied with the deep! Crazy raiders 'n their profane gods. I hope they all get'ta huff their own misht. On that note, I once tasted deep one flesh! Ever tasted deep one? Aftertashte you'll neva' forget."

Spoiler: translation

Corven's shark-mutant Deep Ones invaded the surface, but were mostly driven back by the existing powers once they realized that killing them before they surfaced prevented them from reviving. They still managed to take numerous islands though, driving back the triton and leaving many islands impossible to recolonize. They also allied with the Huskarr, who are at this point unrepentent Nyarlathotep Cultists.

"Yes, that's all true, that's all true, but please, tell me more of what you know."

The bartender was at this point just giving the catwoman water, which she seemed to still think was alcohol, and as such, continued to chug.

"Aye, well, ya' didn't hear it from me, but I been hearin' all them rulers'a Zhailving'n the Empire been up to some, eh, lesh than wholeshome activities! Khan'a the centaur's 'sposedly got 'imself ten wives what distract'im from 'is dyin' empire! Same with that Lord'a Zhail, 'course he goes through'em one-by-one if you get my picture."

The elderly cat girl mocked dragging her claw along her throat.

"'As for the empire's king! Hah! Man's gone crazy with this whole farmersh caste, farmowner's basically nobles nowadays'n the 'ole nobility done got shcrewed! Literally in'a few cashes! HAH! Alsho heard'bout some odd neck-treasure what that farmboy king be obsessin' over, sent tons'a folk after some amulet held by an 'ole cult'n made some kinda beast 'long the way 'after findin' a decoy. Man 'parrently found what he looked for though, 'n folks sayin' he upt'a all kinda' heretical shite. 'Course it'd be illegal to call the King'a Port Royal'a dark master'a the winds'a conjuration like we all know he might be! But we ain't in'da empire are we?"

Spoiler: translation

Royals who obtained Helsa's crown-fragments have begun a slow descent into decadence, whereas the King of the Empire in particular, coupled with his adoration of Farmer Joe leading to farmers becoming essentially nobility, he managed to locate both of Helsa's dark amulets, creating a monster with the first by accident, and managing to safely harness the second. He is now secretly a dark conjuror who works closely with all form of lovecraftian horrors, but that is mainly just a conspiracy theory, and no one takes it seriously since .

"Of course, and the prince is secretly trafficking in stolen ba-Wait, what was that about a dying empire?"

"Ya' mean the khanate? Hah, much's I hate it them jade folks got fight in'em, though it's mostly all them nightmarish shit they do to appease that war god'a their's. Assman 'sposedly blessed 'em with 'is one'n only son 'r somethin. No clue what be its name but tha' khanate can't scratch it. Arrows'n magic don't hurt it'n only thing what seems to slow'em new jades down be the centaurs just movin' outa' the beastie's way, bein' nomads'n all. Strikin'em in their new settlements before that thing can find'em. Stayin' on the move. That'n the jade needin' to settle their new land 'fore takin' more, but seems to me like their comeback ain't stoppin' soon. Damn kung-fu wizzshards!"

Spoiler: Translation

Since Assyrian's demigod fell, the son of the Warrior has been spearheading a campaign by the Jade Remnant to retake their ancestral homeland. This has largely been successful, allowing them to take over a good bit of their old home near and around their island while the centaurs are forced to simply move their yorts out of the way. The jade have also had to do this gradually due to a need to reexpand their population, which has seriously declined.

"Ah yes, the kung fu wizards are a real problem these days! I'm sure of it!"

"Yu betchur shorry arse they are! 'Member all that wacky shit what happened back'n krassmass'a '23? I'm tellin' ya' it was kung fu wizzards! Swear'on Rhubarion's name!"

"Ah yes, entire farms frozen overnight on tropical islands, corrupted caves, some kind of eastern fox-demon slain and then being sighted on the wrong side of the planet causing mayhem and pain just a week later. Towns attacked and entire villages massacred by Reavers of all things on Krassmas Eve led by a talking hyena of all things? The spirit of the holiday and the gods themselves fighting otherworldly invaders on the north pole, which, as we all know thanks to the Empire's icebreaker expedition with that big-ass rock they call a flagship, is a bloody corrupted wasteland of black oily seas and unspeakable creatures that look like a starfish screwed a barrel! Not to mention the ruins full of blobs and giant corrupted ice-trees and all that other horrible shit those folks were describing before eating a blunderbuss-sandwich. Quit the fairy tales. the north sea is just as cursed as the south, what with those nightmarish gun-birds and all, but there wasn't none of this krassmas miracle shit you'reon about!"

"Aye but it's true! Met me a talkin' reindeer in an inn one time what can attest! 'n a friend'a mine once said she saw an angel'a krassmas! 'n that wacky bird what gives out presents once'a year? Never seen that 'fore the great krassmas season! Not'ta mention all that what been goin' on since the ice mission where they found that 'ole ruined temple'a some krassmas god. Priests on that icebreaker been sayin' the top'a the world be tainted by the corruptor, n' you seen what's goin' on in the mountains? I know'a gnome'n he says it ain't like nothin' he seen 'fore. Coronet, tallest mountain 'n the range since the quake knocked down that last one covered in some slimy blue shit, made tradin' with the spearfolk a real pain this season, not to mention those freakin' bees what EXPLODE if ya' look at'em wrong! Only turn int'a seeds but it hurts like shit! Pretty sure those were some messed up prank by'a wizard or two back 'last kranksgivin."

Spoiler: Translation

The krassmas event happened, but for most people it was just a particularly cold week with a few odd events here and there. Farms froze over, Reavers attacked a bunch of towns to varying degrees of effectiveness. Krass Red is mostly a myth, Randall the Pain-Deer, Delibird, and Harold Angel are now active in the world, and the battle of the gods at the north pole is mostly legend, the only evidence of it being the ruins at the north pole, which, following an icebreaker mission by the Korosona, was shown to be an uninhabitable corrupted wasteland, now filled with awakened Elder Things and other horrors. The Kitsune was sealed, however Helsa made another one and it has continued its activities on the western continent, causing much confusion as none of them have ever dealt with Yokai before. Joe's exploding flower bees have generally been a pain, and finally, Mt. Coronet (the tallest mountain on ocaeril after the last one crumbled) is now inexplicably covered with viscous blue slime, and no one can figure out why.

"And what might any of this have to do with kung fu wizards?"

"Ehhhh... Let'sh change tha' subject. Y'know all that shit what went down'n camelot 'few years back? City nearly got burned to tha' ground by some kinda' dragon, not like one I've eva' seen either, all black'n feathery, protected by some kinda' magic shield'n whatnot. Knights managed'ta fight the thing off 'n it ran for tha' hills. No one's seen it since, but I heard from'a reliable source it may'a flown south, how south I ain't sure but some fishin' folk said they saw a freaky lookin' black dragon crossin the sea, due south for the pole where no man can go these days, what with those crazy flightless birdthings that go'n shootcha with some kinda automatic musket, like those puckle-gun things folks be guardin' trains with nowadays."

"Yes, I've heard of that. Oh, here's one. I heard from a somewhat-"

"Ah shaddup! I don't wanna hear all your stories'n shit! This's mah' spotlight! Heh! Y'know here's a good one, y'know ninjas? Those cats on nekomatus what gut folks'n their sleep with all manner'a dark chi powers? Well a bunch'a ninjas founded their own country on some island! And so did a race'a giants! 'N squid people! All formin' their own 'lil nations on islands what got sweeped by the deep ones'n keepin' the empire away with some gimick'r another. Ninja's way nicer though on account'a bein' a lotta fakes. Not assassins these ones, wizards what like to roleplay. Used chakra at first'I heard, then started workin' with all kinda' chi magics tryna' rip off my people even harder. Heard them had a schism over that, few'a them what got scared so hard by some kinda' livin' temple ran off to a monastary on some hill to practice chi all on it's own. 'Course it might'a been for the best what with all the shit one hears 'bout goin' on on that island. Werewolf cultists'n all that crazy shit, and it s'posedly gotten weirder. That 'ole slime woman what run the place done gone missin', thought'a have gone'n croaked after some fight with'a wraith'r some other ghost. Gone'n left that elf what taught the exodites all that druidry shit a widower, 'n left those two weird slime kids runnin' the show. Titans though? Nuts, the lot'a 'em. Man-eaters'n Lightbringer cultists. Good thing for us they can't even move them giants off their islands what with'em makin' tsunamis that level their cities, 'n a shifter can just get shot in'tha back with a good'ole magic missile.'Course giants ain't all they got. Them'n the resta' the lightbringer's lot 'sposedly can bind some kind'a dragon from Yimor itself to do their will. Say they ride 'em from island to island in Titania. Eh. Here's hopin' thems don't leave their islands any time soon."

"Indeed."

Spoiler: Translation

Zeruel attacked camelot, and may or may not have fled to the south pole. The Village Hidden in the Leaf exists, and is mocked for just being a commune of sorcerers pretending to be ninjas, while simultaneously looked on with suspicion for being so isolationist, and also harboring a cult of freaking werewolves. Marah is also believed to have died, as she has not been heard from by anyone since her battle with the wraith. Tuldor heard of her presumed death after he returned from teaching the sage arts to his people. Titania also exists, and is mainly isolated to its own archipelago, but is still widely known as a wretched hive of scum and villainy to the rest of the world, although it has not expanded much given the problems with using the titans offensively. They, along with other Yimor Cultists, have also been summoning Masquts/Ender Dragons to varying levels of success.

"'Ah, hear 'bout this? Cult'sa Helsa bein' on the move, workin their way'inta' all those mage guilds for some odd reason, buildin' a library they say. 'n it not just them. There's word'a some strange shit from the underdark operatin' 'round these parts. Sayin' these blobs with'a load'a eyes be callin' the shots'n all kinda' conspiracies, transmundanists up'n arms 'n revoltin' a few times! 'Specially since it came out those helsa nuts be workin hand'n tendril with these 'ole things. No one's ever seen the things yet though, I'd say we got time 'fore they surface. 'Least I hope we do."

"And so do I." *Yawn*

"Ah and speakin' a magic! Wizards been goin' crazy lately over how magic's been behavin. First it was ether, then wind, now 'parrently its'all flowin towards some island south'a here, which so infested with those damn letter fairies that gettin' a peek is damn near impossible. 'Course with magic flowin' like this them sayin' it's safer to use now, less tentacle beasts'n mages finally takin' apprentices again! Heh, in mah view if one can't take a tentacle up the arse one ain't got no right'ta be'a mage, Aye?"

"Aye..."

Dear gods end my suffering

Spoiler: translation

Cults of Helsa have continued their long-term plans to gather the largest collection of magical lore in the history of Ocaeril. They have worked with Beholders in this endeavor, which are now attempting to subvert their way into control of most of the west before conquering the surface, which they are now needing to do given the total dominion of the underground Vril empire that no one save for Ickol even knows about. The Vortex has baffled mages, but has overall made magic safer to use, and apprentices are being trained in greater number given the lack of tentacles bursting out of your eyesockets with one wrong pronunciation.

"'N that ain't all! Ya'see I heard some zoologist folks be 'avin a picnic since all those new birds'n bugs'n stuff showed up, 'n parrently some weird animals what they found in the mountains 'n on some volcanic islands that control fire'r some shit, monkeys 'n lizards with flamin' tails, 'n some sayin' the plunts had some kinda' population boom 'cause folks seein' tons'a new varieties. 'Lil grass-girl things 'n bulb-frogs 'n all kinda weird shit. Then'ya got all those tasty 'lil rodents."

"ewwwwww"

"Ey! Don't knock rattata'r squirrel 'til ya' tried it! 'Ole nekomatus sayin' what one should always eat their rats alive ma boy! Don't respect mah culture's wisdom 'ya priviledged imperial oppress'r!"

"Whaaaa..?"

"Oh'n here's a tip! Friend'a mine told me'a story 'bout some folks what raided the 'ole exarch's lands, found 'emselves somethin' what let'em weave enchantments bett'r than most archmages! Best yet they sellin' the shit when them dusty 'ole wizards just put their works in some library or a 'nother. Charge'a ton but'n enchanted gun's worth every shilling! Got me this'a few months back."

Spoiler: Translation

MK&D, a network of arms dealers loosely based off of MC&D from the SCPverse has begun selling anomalous "enchanted" items stolen from the exarchs or produced using their tech for exhorbent prices to private entities. This neko is among their clients. Pokemon of the Fire, Grass, Normal, Bug, and Flying types also exist now, and nothing much has come of it.

The elderly catgirl produced what appeared to be a flintlock pistol with steampunk highlights.

"Woah! Careful where you point that th-"

It spontaneously went off, and fired a bust of pure kinetic force that knocked the bartender over and shattered every bottle behind him. The neko looked over the counter, seeing him to be completely unconscious, and looked around, seeing the bar to be empty. She checked one last time, and then grabbed the cash register, before running off into the night.

"Heh, gullible."








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MEANWHILE...
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The gods appeared once again in the Hall, atop their thrones, or, in the case of the Outsiders, standing beside the thrones, or, on a beanbag chair, as Inqui usually was. The feast had once again been prepared, composed of the flavorless foam that seemed to be the only thing the gods actually could eat, along with the mildly intoxicating nectar that stood to function as the pantheon's only escape from this world. Nothing much seems to have changed. The lunar angel continues to play it's repetitive tune, though one thing in particular seems to be different. The throne of the navigator, previously filled by Divisi, who... may have been the navigator? Perhaps not, as now it is filled by another. A goddess draped in blue and emitting a soft "aaahhhh" for all to hear.


CutieBoop





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MEANWHILE...
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"Ahhh... Well, she is as resilient as ever, wouldn't you agree?"

"QUIT PLAYING YOU OVERSIZED SACK OF FEATHERS. WE STILL HAVE TO GET HER BACK OR WE. ARE. DEAD."

"Now now, patience, patience. While Zeruel may have... failed me... She did give me a quite interesting... ahem... recommendation."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?"

"Observe, my love."

The hall of light went dark, as an ever-pervasive shadow expanded out from the center of the chamber. It coated everything, draining the light from the room until coallescing into a single, avian form. Decidedly less massive than that which Zeruel had beheld, but recognizable as Zemrasil nonetheless. It spread its obsidian-black wings, sending out another shadow which dimmed the planet until it was but a flicker from the eyes of those on Ocaeril. And then, the pulsating darkness from Zemrasil ceased, having apparently made the area a good bit more comfortable. His owl-like head rotated around, surveying the barren landscape, before he spoke.



"Yimor. The Decimation has come."​

 

[Space Buddha]

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
PVP:
YIMOR VS OCAERIL, HELSA, TIAMAT, KURANTSE, and ICKOL
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Selee-01 | CutieBoop | Churl | Stikes | KolastoRPN

(Light Blue = Buffed HP | Dark Red = Depleted HP)

Fire engulfed the hall of the gods, blinding the gods briefly before the flash of light faded out, revealing that the flames had, in fact, damaged nothing and been almost immediately snuffed out. The gods also felt no pain, including Yimor, who was unaffected by Kurantse's price. Ocaeril did not, in fact, fire spheres made of his own spiritual energy at Yimor. Rather, he had emitted a few whisps of chakra that fizzled almost immediately and only served to coat the marble floors with Ocaeril's own vital life force. As Yimor flew away, several of the gods nearly caught a glimpse of his face, which was, for whatever reason, shrouded behind a black curtain labeled "CENSORED". After fleeing the hall, Yimor floated towards the planet, currently about 10% of the way there, while Ickol, having failed to see the face of Yimor up until he fled the hall, leaving her with a considerable headache, beheld another being circling the hall. Out of nowhere, a bolt of black lightning struck her in the chest, knocking her away as the owl-like creature swooped over her, flying after Yimor at considerable speeds.

Ocaeril:
==============================================================

Tiamat:
==================================================

Ickol:
=========================

Kurantse:
=========================

Helsa:
=============================================

YIMOR DROTH:
====================================================================================================

???:
========================================================================================================================================================================================================​

 

[Space Buddha]

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck | CutieBoop | NihiloExDeus | Gravitys Momentum

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
GM UPDATE
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dawn of the New Year: 1300




Somewhere in a not-so-distant village, a rural town in the north imperial province which just so happened to be directly off the coast of Sunfall Reef, an old tavernkeep nearing retirement was scrubbing the bar as the door swung open, with an immense black thing levitating into the tavern. The screams of its patrons being heard as they ran for cover from the aberration before them. The tavernkeep himself, however, stood firm and covertly reached for the sawn off shotgun kept below the bar as he analyzed the creature. It was around seven imperial feet in height, though assuming it did not float off the ground it would likely only be around five feet. It resembled a black humanoid torso floating in mid-air, with the bottom half of that torso being without skin and having an exposed ribcage, wherein a red orb could be seen. It had no head and in its place a mere lump of black flesh, from which a skull-like "mask" protruded. Three ribbon-like appendages jutted from its side, flapping behind the creature as it levitated towards the bar. By now, the tavernkeep held his weapon behind his back, though maintained a calm exterior as the monster approached. Calmly, the old man spoke.

"Can I get you a drink, sir?"

The creature floated in place, remaining silent.

"Can I get you... Anything?"

The "core" of the creature began to glow.


/TELL ME OF YOUR WORLD. HUMAN./

"Uh, well, there's lots to tell. Any particular reque-"

/TELL ME OF THE LAST AGE. OF THE DAYS BEFORE AND SINCE THE GRAND AWAKENING./

"Kay then... Well, back 'fore the impact the Empire's king found some sort of 'larva' that he moved to a city a few miles from here. Of course it's no city anymore. Most folks aren't let in there, but it ain't hard'ta see what it's become. Entire city is now some kinda giant hive where some clan'a chakra mages train the bees. Personally never ridden one, but them things are just giant bees they can train to fly between islands 'n ships 'n all. Got 'em workin' the farms too, 'n fact the whole empire's been gearing up for farming with some kinda mechanical plows'n cotton engines what with that farmer-cult and that RSIEK gang having gotten so much influence'n parliment, 'though zhailving's going the other way it looks, calling it an 'industrial revolution' down there, workin' with steam engines 'n all. I heard the folks down there invented the Telegraph."

/TELL ME MORE OF THIS ZHAILVING, AND THEIR FAR-WRITING MACHINES./

"Well they be sayin it's the biggest advancement in communication since the printin' press. It's this button ya' push on this little machine, and the one it's linked to by a big long wire beeps. Zhailving's this kingdom down south, 'n they invented some code running on 'dots' and 'dashes' they use to work the telegraph in the first place, at least to send messages in common that is. Uh, they also , and vassalized most'a the kingdoms west'a their borders since the deluge, and thems one'a the only free kingdoms left not gettin' puppetted by them floatin' eye-monsters. 'Course it ain't all dandy over there, thems dealt with a revolution some few years back. Few cities seceded after some dragonborn wrote 'the communist manifesto' 'r some shit. Some book all about ho-"

/THIS IS NOT RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS. TELL ME OF OTHER THINGS THAT HAVE TRANSPIRED./

Spoiler: Translation

The Empire is raising large quantities of giant bees in a hive-city run by the bee clan. Bees are used to work farms since the empire has geared itself into the top agricultural power, inventing mechanical plows and other farming equipment. Zhailving is industrializing however. They invented the telegraph, conquered flooded kingdoms to the west of themselves, however they ended up losing a large swath of land after a revolution caused by Inqui's incarnate, who wrote the communist manifesto.

"Okay! Well, goblins' are a rare sight these days since that 'ole famine what killed so many'a 'em, forcin' em to cannibalism'n all that. And, uh, you ever heard of the Black Oak? It's some old devil-worshipper's site helsa cultists went that way 'n worked some wicked magic on some ancient tree the exodites planted, 'course now that whole swath'a land be'in the cenobites' hands, though they ain't touchin' it. Probably because'a some demons those cultists went'n summoned 'round that place. "The Seven Horrors" the exodites call'em, good reason too, some say them be dark counterparts'a the earth warders, I don't believe'a word'a it though..."

/YOU BORE ME WITH YOUR INANE MUTTERINGS FLESH-PERSON. I REQUIRE WORKABLE DATA/

"Alright! Alright! Ayeayeaye! Well, right 'fore the whole world went'ta shit there was some nutso cult leader on that island what nearly flooded durin' the deluge, he dead now but the man somehow sparked some kinda' alliance 'tween Zhailving'n the empire, 'cause them folks signed tons'a treaties after that 'ole summit, not mentionin' camelot, what now be beachfront property if I recall correctly! Hah! Ain't sure bout the east though, last I heard the khanate was dead'n the Jade ruled the east 'n its islands, even takin' a few back from the Deep Ones'n all! Purgin' the enfogged, at least up 'til the mists got thicker 'n made retakin' islands a pipe dream. Even worse for them, I been hearin' thems's magic be wanin', centaur tribes comin' back for round two 'n even conquerin' back some 'ole spots, n' I heard some'ole beast-tamer folk be holdin' their own 'gainst those jades for once, them nekos callin' 'em a dyin' empire, readyin' up for war themselves. 'Course I'd never trust a neko."

Spoiler: Translation

Tuldor's negotiations mostly failed, but the empire and Zhailving formed an alliance anyway. Camelot is now beachfront property partially due to flooding and partially due to having annexed areas to the west of themselves. The Centaur Khanate has fallen and returned to scattered tribes, and the Jade Empire has returned to power. They had managed to reclaim a few enfogged islands up until Corven thickened the fog, and due to their chi powers fading away, they are losing the ability to effectively fight back the centaur tribes. As such, the nekomatus are preparing for war. Goblins are also nearing extinction.

The creature hums as it processes the data, before speaking again.

/I FIND YOUR FOLKSY ACCENT TO BE BEYOND IRRITATING. ALTER YOUR SPEECH PATTERNS OR BE VAPORIZED./

"Alright! Alright! Yeesh man, no need to be so harsh."

/I REQUIRE MORE DATA./

"Fine, well, I've heard of lots of new monsters being sighted. Sailors tell stories about a dragon made of lightning that came right around the day the sun fell, calling it Kirin, some kind of fragment of Yimor or a demon of sorts. They can see it coming though, kills all the birds in the sky and always brings a storm with it. Eats Krakens too or so I heard. Jade Empire's tried a few times to bring the beast down, scholars say the thing's just a projection of a smaller body they need to kill, of course Kirin's fled every time it's been in real danger. And that's to say nothing of what the hunter's guild's been dealing with in the mountains. Since the sovereign war the guild's been in a rough spot, since the sovereign fell, other dragons are starting to take notice and do something about it. Worse yet the guild's clients are usually the city states, and given what's running those kingdoms that's pretty funny'a them. That ain't all either. I've heard tell'a sky giants and lava monsters and all other kinds of things raising hell in the mountains, not to mention that there's been talk of Reavers, you know, savage men? Used to only live out east but now there's talk of whole tribes of 'em, "anprims" or something I heard 'em called. I heard'a something called a 'Demilich' too, some kind of lich that ascended with some helsan artifacts and dug 'imself into a 'tomb of horrors' 'n the mountains. Some kind of labyrinth last I heard, but like that carcosa place folks who go in don't come out. It's a real shame that weird slime-woman bit the big one, lass never named an heir 'n now her guild's split. One side loyal to kohona, other to some 'ole veteran hunter'n the highest bidder. Last I heard they were on the tail'a some mutant sorcerer called a "Morlock". No idea what that is though. Empire and Zhailving have taken some precautions too, I know the latter went and bought up a bunch of these big revolving cannons from some arms dealers, sold it to the empire for a pretty penny too. Head to the city'a Zhailving and you'll see this other thing they've got, looks like big wooden stilts but can carry a bunch'a guards. You'll see 'em in central city states too, Camelot especially. And that's all to say nothin' of all them new monsters folks have been seeing around. Lots of poisonous bugs and plants that alchemists and those new 'Chemists' have been discovering in exodite woods, 'n all those weird sea-beasties what been washin' up on shore or caught in fishermen's nets. Apparently there's stuff like'em in the Underdark too, but I ain't seen a Vril in ages so I can't tell ya', and the Beholders ain't gonna say much. Though, since the spearians made those 'lil ball things it ain't hard'ta get yourself one'a these beasties. Holy Grain Empire's been usin' em for war'n farming and them gnomes been using 'em to catch those pesky unown what run amok in their towns. Not'ta mention the applications for piracy, things got real bad with them right 'fore they went on that big 'ole treasure hunt. Me? I just use the one I got'ta hold me dog. Fun thing about these? Pets in 'em don't need to shit."

Spoiler: translation

Lots of new creatures exist and Marah's guild has suffered for it. Since she named no heir, the guild split to one faction that follows Ashura, and another that has remained independent. Kirin exists, Cardicious's monsters have rampaged through gnomish territories and in the case of the Duskpeak Sovereign, sparked a war between dragons and the hunter's guild which is causing other dragons to begin uniting against said guild. Anprims exist, but have been mistaken for reavers. Blackbellow has become a demilich and constructed a tomb of horrors in the mountain range. Morlock is active and raising hell as well. Zhailving, the Empire, and Camelot also all have gatling guns now. Chicken walkers were invented, and pokemon are also now more common, with new variants being discovered. Spear Pillar and its trading partners, namely Zhailving and the Holy Grain Empire, have also begun using these to tame wild beasts (pokemon) for use in battle and as domestic companions. Chemistry also exists now.

/SATISFACTORY DATA. NOW REVISIT PREVIOUS TOPIC. IDENTIFY 'THE DELUGE' and 'CARCOSA'/

"Ah, well, about thirty years back right 'round where the ancient exarchs used to live some 'ole city'r somethin' just popped outta nowhere after some kind of magic storm. Mages say it's the return of some ancient city called carcosa or something, and some sciencey-folks'r insisting that it was just some tectonic-sorta thing pushing up old Naga ruins to the surface, 'course I'm thinking mages, since no one what goes in that city ever comes out, though that's probably 'cause those cultists from Kohona headed there, made their base in those ruins since apparently they weren't welcome back home. 'Course I'm getting off track. When that place rose, a buncha' water got pushed around and ended up flooding places built on the west beach. Did a lotta damage, 'n that was before those stars fell. Tidal waves 'n clouds'a burnin ash hit the coasts'a the west and did Arceus knows what to the East. Though it can't be good since from what I heard them tidal waves were full'a hungry sharks. All I know is that over there the flooding and wildfires've been giving the centaurs some much needed breathin' room, 'n some beasties called "Youkai" been gettin' a lot more elusive as'a late, dodgin' patrols 'n multiplyin' despite some'a them chi-wielders' best efforts. Back over here, so many kingdoms'n duchies were so busy tryin' to put the fires out'n repair the damages that they got 'emselves invaded by some'a their nastier neighbors. Camelot's practically an empire what with all they took with those weird battle-mages they've got now, demi-servants I heard they're called. 'N the others got a piece of the pie too. Zhailving, Larion, Toria, 'n some big new player called the 'Holy Grain Empire'. All them lot what be not gettin' called around by them flyin' eye-squids. Shit got worse though, one'a them fallin' stars 'r meteors'a whatever they be called hit Port Royale too, no survivors'n the inner city. Empire got thrown into chaos for 'bout ten years and lost a good few islands when natives took the chance to revolt, 'course natives'r always revolting, heh."

/YOU ARE RETURNING TO YOUR HIDEOUSLY IRRITATING SPEECH PATTERNS./

"Right, right. Anyway, people had been expecting this for a while. There were signs and all, omens from the gods they say. Yimor was the brightest thing in the sky for a good year 'fore things went to shit, folks were freakin' out, callin' it the end of the world, selling their possessions and making pilgrimiges and all. 'Course most just thought it was routine, like, you got the eclipse every month, big one every year, but of course port royale learnt the hard way not to ignore an omen. The Empire's rebuilt, mostly. Rebuilt the ships they lost, pulled some diplomatic strings to get into an alliance with the Holy Grain Empire and moved the capital to their old city east of the mountains, had at least one heir left who wasn't at the palace when it hit the fan. Of course the sunfalling was only the start'a all their problems. Tons'a weird-ass prophets started springing up, calling the cataclysm the result'a some battle of the gods and that something with Yimor had happened. Some'a them claimed he was dead, others said that what hit was just an avatar and he's walkin' among us now. Even weirder, some folks claimed that the God'a light merged with the Slime God somehow. Heard the whole situation's even worse in the east where Yimor-worship's allowed. Needless to say, puttin' down heresy's been a big problem 'round here, and that ain't even starting on Sunfall Reef."

Spoiler: translation

Carcosa rose, the beast clan went in, and since then no one who enters ever really comes out, largely due to the gardens. The rise of carcosa flooded most of the city states on the west, and because of Cardicious, said tidal waves were filled with sharks. This weakened them enough for the empire, zhailving, camelot, the Holy Grain Empire, and a few other city states that the Beholders haven't sabotaged to conquer them. Port Royale was destroyed, the firestorms emitted by yimor added insult to injury and set the flooded and shark-infested kingdoms on fire, and hundreds of doomsday cults had formed in the years leading up to Yimor's awakening. Yimor's cults are now a mix of people denying that he died, worshipping Inqui in his place, or turning to Zyr. Youkai have become ridiculously elusive since Ickol gave them their own dimension, and Camelot now has demi-servants.

/ELABORATE ON AREA YOU DESIGNATE 'SUNFALL REEF'/

"Well, it's called the island of gold. It appeared after Port Royale bit the big one. Of course it's not made of gold. Some of those Yimor cultists I was talking about say it is-"

/'TIS THE SHELL OF MY FATHER, AND THE SIGN THAT THIS WORLD COMES TO A CLOSE, THE FINAL HOPE AGAINST THE NIGHTBRINGER STRUCK DOWN BY THE FOOLISH GODS OF THIS WORLD. HIS FORM DESTROYED, NOW A SHADOW OF HIS FORMER SELF, HOUSED IN A VESSEL UNWORTHY OF HIS GLORIOUS VISAGE. HIS CORPSE SHALL BE A BLIGHT UPON THIS WORLD, FROM WHERE MY KIND RISE TO DEVOUR THOSE THAT CHOSE DEATH RATHER THAN REBIRTH IN THE GLORIOUS LIGHT OF YIMOR-DRO-/

"I get it man, I get it."

The bartender took a huge shot of whiskey, and passed a similar glass to the Zeruellim, which vaporized the whiskey, along with the glass, before emitting a satisfied hum.

Spoiler: Translation

Self Explanatory

/TELL ME MORE/

"Uh, well, a while back, way before the meteors fell, a bunch'a doomsday cults popped up 'round the world, all going on about evil ideas 'n weird theories about Chakra. That lot's still around even, working among the transmundanists and obsessed with evil spirits what get spread around by cursed words. Especially these ones they call Solar Plexus Clo-"

The Zeruellim held one of its ribbon-like tendrils to the man's lips, shushing him.

/MY KIND DO NOT SPEAK OF SUCH THINGS. TO DO SO IS TO INVITE RUIN./

"Uh... Sure..."

/HAVE YOU ANY OTHER NEWS?/

"Well... Piracy's at an all time low last I heard. Apparently the fleets of the big four've been off hunting some 'ole artifacts for the last ten years. Those demons are still out there though, and a lack'a competition ain't made them any friendlier, especially with that Cyognax guy as their leader 'n bein' a walkin' peice'a artillery, that'n how mages'r up in arms again, apparently because scrying doesn't work quite right anymore, all they can see now are these weird pages in languages no one understands. One of 'em is apparently some kind of window into another world. Though, I can't think'a much else."

Spoiler: translation

Solar Plexus Clown gliders exist, and piracy is at an all time low with most factions being busy searching for Tiamat's artifacts. Demons, now led by Cyognax, a demon who can fire ship-to-ship siege lasers, however, have used this as an opportunity to pirate without any competition. Scrying also no longer works correctly, and now only grants access to Earth's internet.

/GLORIOUS./

The zeruellim just floated there until closing time, vaporizing drinks as they came.







Meanwhile...
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

( NihiloExDeus | Selee-01 )

Once again, the gods appeared on their thrones, and saw the feast laid out before them and once again heard the soothing tune of the lunar pianist. Of course, not all was the same. On the throne of the abomination sat a familiar face, and though the gods knew this throne to be that of Yimor, they also knew it to belong to the new one, Phil. Perhaps Yimor was an outsider? They were unsure. Assyrian's throne stood strangely empty, and the Reveler's throne sat unpleasantly occupied by a painfully familiar face, as was that of The End, where the avatar of Zyr'Abaoth sat menacingly.




Meanwhile...
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



"Well, that could have gone better, would you not agree?"

"YOU ARE AN IDIOT. JUST LET ME DO THIS MYSELF."

"Now now, Aqua, what do we say?"

"MAY I PLEASE GO FORTH AND RETRIEVE OUR DAUGHTER AND CONSUME ALL THAT MIGHT GET IN MY WAY?"

"Much better. You may indeed."

At the bottom of the sea, somewhere off the coast of Camelot's new coastal province, a Warp-Rift opened, and as a wave of mutagenic magical energy swept out of the vortex, so too did Meryl enter into this world.

Spoiler: Meryl

Meanwhile...
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
VomitIcicle


The peasant repeats basically everything that the rest of this post said, and somewhere in another universe, an edgy person felt a deep sense of regret.​

 

[Space Buddha]

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck | CutieBoop | NihiloExDeus | Gravitys Momentum

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
GM UPDATE
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dawn of the New Year: 1350


Meanwhile, in a somewhat nostril-like cavern on the shores of sunfall reef, an aging Zeruellim led a number of its kind though the tunnel of decayed flesh, firing blasts of light on occasion to clear away the immense green crystals that filled the area. Their kind had developed over the decades, building great cities on the surface of their lord. Nothing comparable to the majesty of Arqa, but it was a start. However, their kind needed numbers, and with their mother still hiding away on the south pole, they had few options to expand. Of course, they were not without options. Buried in the nasal caverns, many of their kind had become trapped in ages past, sealed away in the great cr ystal formations like a fly in amber, and so these Zeruellim found one of these specimens, perfectly preserved and pinned onto the cavern wall. The lead zeruellim approached the crystal formation and, with a motion of it's monofilament blade, sliced open the crystal and led the Zeruellim within to come tumbling out onto the cavern floor. It's field flickered, and it levitated to stand upright before it's rescuer.

/HOW LONG HAS THIS ONE BEEN AWAY?/

/AN AGE./

/WHAT HAS THIS ONE NOT SEEN?/

/EMPIRES HAVE RISEN AND FALLEN. THE HUMANS HAVE BROUGHT FORTH THE STEAM-POWERED HORSELESS CARRIAGES AND POWDER-LESS REPEATING GUNS. TO SAY NOTHING OF THE PROLETARIAT KINGDOM ONCE OF ZHAILVING, WHOSE DISCOVERIES LED THEM TO HARNESS THE POWER OF LIGHTNING AND ALLOWED THEIR CONTEMPORARIES TO INVENT THE WHALE OIL-LESS LAMP. THEY ARE MANY, AND WE ARE FEW. WE MUST PREPARE IF WE ARE TO FEAST WHEN THE TIME COMES./

Spoiler: Translation

Steam-Powered cars were invented, as were percussion caps which has led to various types of primitive repeating firearms, and the communist revolutionary kingdom near Zhailving has discovered electricity and weaponized it into primitive tesla-coil like devices. This discovery soon led to tesla arc lamps, which now replace oil lamps in the most developed regions of the world.

/AND WHAT OF THE DARK ONE?/

/THE BEAST HAS DAMNED THE SOULS OF THIS WORLD. THE OTHER BEINGS DO NOT KNOW IT, BUT ALL ARE DESTINED FOR THE ABYSS./

/SHIT./

/INDEED. WE HAVE SOUGHT A MEANS TO AVOID THIS FATE, AND YET NONE HAVE FOUND SUCH A THING. SINCE THE EMPIRE FOUND IT AMID THE ONCE ENFOGGED ISLANDS, THE GREAT WORLD TREE WAS THOUGHT TO HOLD THE SECRETS OF LIFE, YET IT AND THE BEASTS THAT DWELL THERE REJECT OUR KIND, ITS THREE RULERS SHARE THEIR ARTS ONLY WITH THE MEN OF KOHONA AND THE DRUIDS OF THE WEST, THEIR LIKE NOW SEEK OUR PRIZE ALONE. I KNOW NOT IF THEY HATH FOUND IT, BUT TRUE IMMORTALITY EVADES US AND THE HUMAN MAGES OF THE WEST ALIKE, THEY FIND ONLY LICHDOM AS A SOLUTION. THE KOHONANS SEEM TO BELIEVE THE MERCHANTS OF THE EXARCH'S WARES TO HOLD THE KEY, THE HUMANS BY THE NAME OF MARSHALL, KARTER AND DARKE, AND YET NONE OF OUR KIND HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEEK THEM OUT, HAVING BEEN LAST SEEN ON THE FORBIDDEN ISLANDS./

Spoiler: translation

Zyr's afterlife exists, and the zeruellim are attempting to find the secret of eternal youth in order to combat this problem. They know that the "Big Three" druids of the world tree are searching for it, but said druids have not shared the information they have obtained, which is practically nothing of use (that isn't mentioned by the zeruellim in this post) with them on account of them being hideous abominations that most people don't even know are sentient.

/I WAS EXPECTING MORE OF AN UPDATE ON THE STATE OF THINGS. RATHER THAN CONFIRMATION THAT WE ARE ALL DOOMED./

/OF COURSE BROTHER. WE NOW KNOW THE NINE DEMONS OF THE HELSAN SPHERE TO HAVE BECOME EIGHT, THE GREATEST OF THEM CONSUMED BY THE GODDESS OF EVIL./

/IS THAT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING?/

/I KNOW NOT BROTHER, THOUGH THE ELVES WOULD SAY THE FORMER./

/AND WHAT OF THE GODS? HATH THEY NOT SEEN THAT PARADISE LIES EMPTY?/

/THEIR MACHINATIONS ARE BEYOND OUR KIND, THOUGH I KNOW THE DRUIDS TO SEEK THE RITUAL OF THE LINES. THEY HOLD ONLY PARTS AND ARE NOT ONES TO SHARE, BUT THE FRAGMENTS THEY HOLD CANNOT BE MORE THAN A THIRD OF THE GREAT RITUAL./

/SAY THAT AGAIN, BUT IN EXACT PERCENTAGES./

/WHY?/

/JUST DO IT./

/THEY HAVE PROBABLY ONLY FOUND THIRTY-TWO POINT FIVE PERCENT OF THE RITUAL IF I WERE TO HAVE TO ESTIMATE. WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT?/

/I KNOW NOT BROTHER, I SIMPLY FELT COMPELLED TO MAKE YOU SAY THAT./

/WE ARE IN DARK TIMES INDEED./

Spoiler: translation

Helsa absorbed a demon and the elves are better off for it. Ocaeril has obtained approximately 32.5% of the ritual of the lines.

/DO NOT LOSE HOPE YET, FOR I KNOW THE HUMANS OF THE EAST TO HAVE INVENTED A MEANS OF SUSTAINING A SOUL INDEFINITELY WITHIN THE 'YO-KAI WATCHES" THAT THEY PRODUCE, AND THROUGH THEM THE YOUKAI INFESTATION OF THEIR LAND HAS BEEN ALL BUT ERADICATED, THE ONLY ONES NOT IN THEIR SERVICE HIDDEN AWAY IN THEIR REALM. INDEED, THEIR MASTERY OF THESE BEINGS HAS LED THEM TO PUT DOWN THE REBELLIONS IN ALPH AND AMONG THE CENTAURIC TRIBES, ENSURING THEIR EMPIRE TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY./

/COULD THIS MEANS OF BINDING SOULS SERVE OUR NEEDS?/

/ALAS, IT MAY ONLY BIND THE FORMLESS SPIRITS OF THE EAST, MUCH LIKE THE SPHERES OF THE MOUNTAIN BEASTMASTERS MAY ONLY HOLD THE SOULS OF CERTAIN BEASTS, AND SINCE THE GREAT MIGRATIONS WHICH LEFT SO MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD BARREN OF SUCH BEINGS THEY NOW STRUGGLE TO FIND REASON TO MAKE SUCH THINGS../

/SHIT./

/THAT IS NOT ALL BROTHER, FOR THOSE OF US THAT WENT TO SEARCH THE LANDS BELOW FOUND OTHER BEINGS WHICH MAY HOLD THAT WHICH WE SEEK./

/EXPLAIN./

Spoiler: translation

The Jade Empire is now trapping and taming Yokai using the Yo-Kai-watch, the ones not bound hiding in ickol's yokai realm. This has enabled them to persist despite losing chi power. A great migration is mentioned, referring to Phil relocating countless species.

/NEAR-MYTHICAL BEINGS. THE VRIL CALL THEM THE SHADOWS, OTHERS CALL THEM THE NOVA-KIN. DEMONS OF THE UNSPEAKABLE ONE COMPOSED OF PURE ENERGY, AND AS SUCH OLD AGE SHALL NEVER TAKE THEM TO THE REALM OF THE DAMNED. HOWEVER, THEY DO-./

/THEN WE MUST TAKE THESE BEASTS BODIES AS OUR OWN./

/ALLOW ME TO FINISH. AS I WAS SAYING, AS TIME GOES ON, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST, AND THOSE OF US WHO SOUGHT THEM OUT KNOW THEM NOT TO BE EASILY TAMED, FOR THOSE WITH MINDS TO CALL THEIR OWN STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF THOSE GOBLINS BELOW, WHO, UNDER THEIR SILENT RULER, HIDE FROM THEIR FELLOW BEASTS IN THE DARK, CREATING THEIR MOCKERIES OF ALL THAT THE SURFACE HAS MADE IN THEIR VAIN WISHES TO RECLAIM GREATNESS THEY NEVER HAD./

Spoiler: translation

The shadowkin exist now, and the Silent one has become the amonjak of the First Light. He has put them on the defensive, retaining their isolationism, and thanks to original they now produce chinese-style knockoffs of surface products.

/STOP THIS TEASE./

/SORRY./

/KNOW YOU ANYTHING THAT MIGHT HELP US IN THIS SEARCH? LEGIT?/

/THERE ARE TALES OF AN ISLAND, AN ISLAND WITH A HUNDRED TREES. THE ISLAND HAS NO FIXED POSITION AND MAY APPEAR TO A SAILOR AT ANY TIME. THE TREES UPON IT BARE FRUIT, AND EACH ONE MAY BESTOW A BOON OR CURSE ON HE WHO CONSUMES IT. SOME WHO SET FOOT ON THE ISLAND RETURN HOME AS DEMIGODS. OTHERS AS PILES OF MISSHAPEN FLESH, OTHERS WITH A FANCY NEW HAT, AND SOME NOT AT ALL. THOUGH THE ISLAND IS NOT EASILY FOUND, AND SOMETIMES ONE SIMILAR TO IT MAY APPEAR, BUT IN FACT BE AN ISLAND OF UNENDING DEATH AND DESTRUCTION, WHERE ONE MAY NEVER ESCAPE AND BE FORCED TO FACE HORDES OF THE DEEP ONES BY DAY, AND AS THE SUN SETS FACE A NIGHTMARCH GREATER THAN THOSE OF ALL OTHER ISLANDS. IT MAY CORRUPT THE MIND AS WELL, TAKING ONES SANITY AND MAKING THINE A MINDLESS BEAST. INDEED THE THREE TRADERS OF THE EXARCH'S ARTIFACTS MADE THE JOURNEY TO THESE LANDS, EACH RETURNING WITH STRANGE POWERS. THE ONE CALLED MARSHAL NOW WITH TENDRILS OF TAPE, THE MYSTERIOUS ONE CALLED KARTER GRANTED SWAY OVER REALITY ITSELF, DIVIDING THINGS INTO THEIR QUANTA. DARKE, HOWEVER, CURSED BY THE ISLAND TO SHAPE THE WATERS OF LIFE IN A WAY NO BEING SHOULD./

/THE RISK SOUNDS TO BE GREAT, HOWEVER PREFERABLE TO STORMING THE NEW FORBIDDEN CITY AND FACING THE JADE EMPEROR TO CLAIM HIS FRUIT./

Spoiler: translation

The devil fruit island exists, and shifts its location from time to time alongside the island of combat. Many have eaten fruit from the former and been trapped on the latter before being turned into mindless beasts, and at one point MK&D found the island, and ate of the fruit. Marshall got power over adhesive tape, Kurantse gained the ability to reduce anything to half of its current quantity, and Darke gained powers that will only be explained in the #nsfw channel of the discord server.

/THERE MAY ALSO BE ANOTHER OPTION, ONE THAT DOES NOT ENTAIL A RISK OF SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION./

/EXPLAIN./

/THE FOGMEN HAVE BEEN SEEN FAR OUTSIDE THEIR TAINTED LANDS. THEY TRADE IN STRANGE MEDICINES AND GALAVANT ABOUT. SOME EVEN FLOCK TO THEIR CULT OF MEDICINE NOW, THEIR REPUTATION AS VICIOUS BANDITS IS NOW BUT A DISTANT MEMORY, YET NOT TO THEM, FOR THEIR ART NO DOUBT HAS LET THEM LIVE BEYOND WHAT NATURE WOULD PERMIT./

/A WORTHY SUBJECT OF PURSUIT, ONE WOULD ASSUME./

/THE DEEP ONES OF THE ENFOGGED ARE OF A MUCH GREATER CONCERN, THEY STEAL TECHNOLOGY FROM THE HUMANS AND FORTIFY THEIR ISLANDS, IN PREPARATION FOR THE LARGEST ATTACK SINCE THE GREAT WAR OF THE TUSK, THOUGH THEY HAVE YET TO BEGIN THE SECOND WAR OF THE TIDE. THERE IS WORD EVEN THAT THEY MAY HAVE EVEN SENT DIPLOMATS OF SORT TO THE REALMS OF MAN, THOUGH I SUSPECT THIS TO BE JUST A STORY./

Spoiler: translation

The deep ones have fortified their islands and suspended their aggression. They have also made attempts to contact other races for peace, but this has no doubt ended poorly. A number of fogmen have also left the foglands to spread their religion by curing the sick and such, and this has somewhat deminished the sinister reputation of the fogland natives.

/YOU SPEAK OF A GREAT WAR, WHAT HAS TRANSPIRED?/

/AH YES. THE BLUBBERY BEASTS OF THE EASTERN LANDS SET SAIL FOR THE EMPIRE'S TERRITORIES IN FORCE, BRINGING THEIR MAGICS AND MONSTERS AGAINST THEM AND MUTATED BY THE EXTENT WHICH THEY ALLOW TRUE MAGIC TO GAIN HOLD OF THEM. THEIR BERZERKER HORDES AND BETENTACLED BEASTS THEY BROUGHT AMONG THEM DEVASTATED THE LANDS THEY REACHED, YET AGAINST THE HUMANS AND THEIR AUTOMATIC CANNONS AND IRON-CLAD VESSELS. INDEED THE KOROSONA ALONE DEFENDED THE COASTS FROM THEIR ENTIRE FLEETS. YET, WHILE THEIR SHIPS WERE POWERLESS AGAINST THEIR FOE THOSE THAT MADE LANDFALL LEFT THE ISLANDS THEY SWEPT ACROSS A BARREN ROCK, BURNED TO ASH BY THE VAMPIRIC BEASTS THEY SUMMONED ALONGSIDE THEM. HUSKARRA NOW STANDS IN A SIMILAR STATE AS A NEW COLONY OF THE EMPIRE, THOUGH ITS ONLY CLAIM IS THE BOMBARDMENT IT CONTINUES TO PLACE UPON THE LAND./

/UNFORTUNATE, IT WOULD SEEM ANOTHER WAR OF THE TIDE MAY BE UPON US NOW, THOUGH YOU SAY THE DEEP ONES SENT FORTH DIPLOMATS? DEEP ONES CANNOT SPEAK./

Spoiler: translation

The Huskarr made their attack on the Empire in an event known as the war of the tusk. Given the empire's vast technological advantage, they decimated the huskarr fleet in nearly every engagement on account of the latter not even having cannons. However, in land engagements, they swept over islands and decimated numerous colonies, further shrinking the empire's holdings. The Fire Vampires also left these islands near uninhabitable, and countless species have gone extinct. This is likely to wound ocaeril. The empire ended the war by effectively bombarding Huskarra into a similar state, and now holds it and the remaining huskarr as a colonial holding, one of its last.

/WE THOUGHT THE SAME OF THE REAVERS, YET THOSE OF THE WEST WHICH SURVIVED THEIR FALL FROM THE SKY SPOKE TO THE WALKING RACES OF THE TRUE NATURE OF REALITY. THEIR PHILOSOPHIES OF OUR WORLD AS THE DINNER PLATE OF THE DARK ONE NO DOUBT TOUCHED MANY SOULS, INCLUDING MY OWN./

Spoiler: translation

The anarcho-primativists, now virtually extinct due to the amount that went splat upon hitting the ground, spread rumors of the world being an illusion and reality actually being a dinner plate to anyone they could should they have survived. This struck a cord with a lot of people.

/INDEED THEY DID, EVEN AMONG THE UNTAINTED ELVES, THOUGH NOT TO NOBLE ENDS. MANY THREW THEMSELVES TO THE PATCHWORK BEAST THAT KILLED SO MANY OF THEIR NUMBER YEARS AGO, NOW THEIR SOULS TOO ARE DAMNED. THOUGH, WHILE THEIR LIKE MAY BE, THE ELVES AT WHOLE ARE NOT, AND NOR ARE THE OTHERS WHICH NOW HOLD THE CENOBITIAN SECRETS OF THE FLESH./

/OTHERS?/

/HUMANS OF THE ONCE WEAK HOLY GRAIN EMPIRE NOW WIELD BIOMANCY IN WAYS THE CENOBITES WOULD ENVY, DWELLING IN GREAT LIVING CITIES AND MASTERING THEIR OWN FLESH, INDEED IMMORTALITY MAY BE CLOSE WITHIN THEIR GRASP, SHOULD THEY BE ENLIGHTENED ENOUGH TO REACH FOR IT IN THIS AGE. THEY MAKE MANY EFFORTS TO HIDE THEIR POWER FROM OUR GAZE, AND YET US AND SO MANY OTHERS KNOW OF THE GREAT POWER THEY WIELD. IT IS SAID THE EMPIRE OF MAN BRIEFLY EMPLOYED BIOMANCERS IN ITS RANKS BEFORE THE WAR OF THE TUSK, THOUGH HOW THEIR MAGES GAINED COUNCIL FROM THIS "BIOME" IS BEYOND MY KNOWLEDGE, A SHARED FAITH, PERHAPS, GIVEN THE EMPIRE'S SEIZURE BY THE JOEVIAN CHURCH. ZHAILVING TOO RECRUITS THE WIELDERS OF THE CRAFT, AUGMENTING THEIR WARRIORS AND TRAINING GREAT BEASTS OF BATTLE, WITH THE MIGHT OF A DRAGON AND THE MIND OF A LOYAL PUPPY DOG. REGARDLESS, ALL OTHERS ARE WISE TO FEAR THIS NATION, SAVE PERHAPS FOR US, AS WE ARE NOT OF FLESH. THEIR MAGIC WOULD BE POWERLESS TO AID OR HINDER OUR KIND./

/YOU DID IT AGAIN. STOP TEASING./

Spoiler: translation

The Biome exists, having evolved via a coup in the holy grain empire, and the teachings of its magic have spread to other nations including the Empire and Zhailving and have been applied for various purposes, however it was purged from the empire after Abnoth's attack led to a renewed hatred of magic. Zhailving is currently applying it for most of its military potential, and has engineered tameable wyverns and similar beasts.

/THERE ARE OTHER IMMORTAL RACES WE MAY SEEK POWER FROM, OF COURSE, AS IT IS SAID THE DEMONS HAVE BRED A NEW KIND, A RACE OF SERPENT-MEN NOW LURKING IN THE TREES OF THE EASTERN LIVING LANDS. OF COURSE, NONE OF OUR RACE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CATCH THEM. WE ARE NOT EXACTLY STEALTHY./

/INDEED./

/CURIOUSLY SUCH DEMONS DO NOT JOIN THEIR BRETHREN IN PIRACY, THOUGH THIS MAY BE SINCE THE PIRATES OF THE REVELRY CAME TO CHALLENGE THEM, TO SAY NOTHING OF TORTUGA AND THAT DECAYING PIRATE QUEEN, KEPT ALIVE BY WILLPOWER AND SOME MANNER OF SACRED WATER. ALL AMID THE GREAT PIRATE WAR. THE LEAGUE OF TORTUGA FACING THE GOBLIN PIRATES OF THE REVELRY, RAGING AGAINST DEMONS AND THE HUSKARR THAT REMAIN AT SEA./

Spoiler: Translation

Helsa's serpent demons now can be found in forested areas on the east continents, and the pirates are in the mist of a great war. The revelry, being a goblin pirate alliance, the demon pirates that have been present in the previous cycles, the huskarr holdouts left over from the war, and those ruled under a pirate queen in possession of Tiamat's artifacts and as old as the Queen of England are the ones at war though there is currently no clear winner and it amounts in the end to the pirates once again being split into infighting factions.

/WHY COULD THIS BE?/

/I KNOW NOT, THOUGH IT MAY RELATE TO THE CLERIC-SPAWNLINGS OF THE SEA-MOTHER, WANDERING HEALERS AND PRIESTS OF THE STRANGE MATING-CULTS. THEY ARE MADE UP OF RACES WHO DO NOT BIRTH THEIR YOUNG THROUGH EFFICIENT SPAWNING POOLS AND THUS MUST RELY ON THEIR OWN FERTILITY TO REPLICATE./

/WHAT DO THESE CLERICS DO EXACTLY?/

/THEY SEEM TO DO VERY LITTLE. THEY JUST LOITER AROUND SETTLEMENTS DEFENDING THEM FROM THE ROVING DEMONS OF THE WEST THAT MIGHT SHOW UP ONCE PER YEAR, AND MAYBE TREATING THE SICK AND AIDING HUMANS IN SPAWNING THEIR YOUNG. THEY CAN ALSO RAISE THE DEAD./

/AND YOU DID NOT FIND THAT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO MENTION RIGHT AWAY?/

/NO. FOR IT IS ONLY IN THE MOMENT AFTER DEATH, AND CAN DO NOTHING TO SAVE ONE OF A NATURAL PASSING./

/SO USELESS AS WELL./

/INDEED./

/KNOW YOU OF ANYTHING NOT USELESS AT ALL? I WOULD LIKE TO VACATE THIS NOSTRIL SOONER RATHER THAN LATER./

/VERY WELL. I KNOW NOW THE KINGDOMS OF THE WEST TO BE PUPPETS OF MORE THAN JUST THE EYE-BEASTS BELOW. A NEW BEING SPREADS ITS INFLUENCE IN THE SOUTHWEST, TAKING LARION AND ITS FIEFS IN THE NAME OF A PROFANE GOD. WITH THE GRAIN-DEMON'S RAMPAGE THROUGH THE BEHOLDEN KINGDOMS THEIR INFLUENCE ONLY GROWS NOW. /

Spoiler: translation

Tiamat's clerics, the children of the sea, are now a significant presence on the western continent and on islands still inhabited by humans. They are primarily just charitable healers and defenders and only at rare occasions go on offensives against monsters and the like, largely because they are somewhat uncommon in the generally peaceful areas they are prevalent in. The dopplegangers have also effectively seized control over Larion and other kingdoms bordering the biome, in the name of Original, and the strength of other Beholder controlled kingdoms has now faltered severely due to Joe having gone on a killing spree.

/KNOW YOU OF ANYTHING ACTUALLY TANGENTALLY RELATED TO OUR TOPIC OF DISCUSSION?/

/INDEED, FOR MANY SAY THE HATH SEEN OUR LORD AMONG HIS SUBJECTS, OR PERHAPS THEIR OWN MESSIAH. THE DEEDS OF THIS GREAT BEING SPREAD ABOUT THE CULT OF LIGHT IN THE FACE OF THE MENTAL PESTILENCE THE CULT OF VOID SPREADS ACROSS THE WORLD. SLAYER OF ABNOTH THE VILE AND THE PATCHWORK HORROR, THE FIRST SPAWNED BY REVILED NECROMANCERS AND HIS DEEDS BRINGING ABOUT NEW HATRED OF MAGIC AND THE CULT OF THE DARK ONE IN THE EMPIRE, AND THE LATTER STRUCK DOWN BY THE LIGHTBRINGER'S AVATAR DEEP IN THE FORESTS OF THE WEST. IF HE STILL LIVES THEN HOPE REMAINS, AND THE HELL WE AWAIT MAY SOON BE CLEANSED BY HIS LIGHT INTO A PARADISE ETERNAL./

/I WOULD HOLD OUT THAT HOPE, BROTHER./

Spoiler: translation

Inqui, or rather, Yinqui appeared to numerous people during her galavanting, and famously slew the sew-sew beast of the exodite forest and Abnoth in the empire. The results of this include massive revivals in yimor's cults and a slowing of the progress in Zyr's disease-like religion. Additionally, the damage caused by Abnoth, combined with the war of the tusk, has led the Empire to have a renewed hatred of magic and begin violently purging mages with increased efficiency. Chakra users remain permitted, for now.

Meanwhile...



Meanwhile, back in the hall of gods, the pantheon appeared on their thrones as usual, the feast restocked and the moon man serenading the group. Little had changed, aside from an immense map of the planet framed on the left-hand wall, constantly redrawing itself and seeming to display all information on the planet below's ecosystem and seeming to occasionally override with diagrams of mutating wildlife or showing colored pathways along the map where herds of animals migrated, mainly the creations of Arceus and some of the more exotic types of beasts the gods had made in the last three hundred and fifty years. Another strange sight was what resembled a black, winged unicorn sitting next to it, occasionally adding vocals as it played.​

 

[Space Buddha]

Tiamat:
==================================================

YINQUI REY:
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Ocaeril:
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MERYL:
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BlackCat-055 | CutieBoop | Celestial Speck

Given Ocaeril's enhanced speed, Meryl had little time to react as the spears were thrust into two of her immense eyes. The effects, however, seemed minor, with both barely even going in, as the eyes seemed shielded by a transparent, yet considerably tough third eyelid. Still, the staff ignited the first eye, and the spear released its wave of corruption, and simultaneously caused the burn wounds caused by the chakra flames to heal.

"I AM LITERALLY MADE OF THE PURIFIED ESSENCE OF EVIL AND YOU THOUGHT THAT WOULD WORK. ARE YOU RETARDED? I AM PURE EVIL IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE YOU GIGATARD- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The bite on her neck and subsequent dragging seemed to startle Meryl, and as she was dragged to the surface, the gods beheld her form in its entirety for the first time. Her lower half was a flailing mass of tentacles it would seem, each one occasionally taking swipes at servants and occasionally grabbing hold of them as the creature is dragged up. Ocaeril got an even closer look as he too was snatched up in her arms. Her upper half is vaguely humanoid, though lined with glowing vents, gills, and with far too many arms for any humanoid. Her chest and back were lined with thickened armor plates, opening at the sides to allow her eight arms passage. He head appeared vaguely as that of a human woman to Tiamat, now being above water, though with six eyes and a a glowing bobber dangling off of her forehead like an anglerfish. Her skin was blue, and her hair was replaced by another armored crest which gave way to a mass of writhing blue tendrils like those of a sea anemone. Her mouth was filled with shark-like teeth. She had no time to speak, as Yinqui flew to meet her and stuck the sea-dragon. Though, her sword failed to penetrate the creature's armor, and Yinqui's headbutt merely produced a squishy noise, and a *dink* as her horns connected with the sea beast's armor. The creature let out a sickening laugh before wrapping her tendrils around Tiamat, pulling her off of her neck and beginning to constrict her within her tendrils. Likewise she lifted Ocaeril in a free tendril, constricting him as well though exerting far less given his relative tininess. She then spoke, mainly directed at Inqui.

"OH WOW, YOU ARE EVEN WEAKER THAN I REMEMBER. SOFTER TOO. YOU REALLY ARE PATHETIC YOU KNOW? IN BOTH A CUTE AND REVOLTING WAY. SERIOUSLY, JUST GIVE UP THIS HERO THING. IT IS NOT WORKING. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A DISGUSTING LITTLE PARASITE, BUT AT LEAST BEFORE YOU WERE ACTUALLY USEFUL."​

 

[Churl]

April Fool’s Day Special -NON-CANON

In the Dreamlands, Ickol felt something stirring. No! This power-

It was too late, she felt everyone, gods and enemies alike, warp into her abode. Well, what was once her domain, at any rate. No longer.

“Thank you, ‘Zemrasil’. Meryl. Your services are no longer required.”

In an instant, Dark Narus dissolved with a screech. Meryl fell to her knees and began to plead with the group of shadowy figures, only for a blonde woman to march out of the silhouettes and flick her in the forehead, sending her flying far far away.

“I would apologize for the trouble we have caused your world, but frankly I don’t feel sorry. My daughter was abducted to be an accessory to Inqui, who was pulled here to play your little charade. This world is more a plaything of the gods than even ours, and deserves no sympathy. We have been watching your actions, and are disappointed in all of you.”

The real Narus ruffled his feathers in distaste as he stepped forward, revealing himself to be the speaker.

“Now, for your crimes of existing and being an unnecessary sequel/reboot, we shall yeet Yharin” he gestured at the blonde woman. “At a sufficient velocity towards your world that she may destroy it. Do any of you have anything to say?”

“H-How...were....you...even...able...to...watch...us?”

An odd gnollish creature in desperate need of a hair brush stepped forward and cackled.

“YoU fOoLs! I wAs WaTcHiNg tHe tHrEaD! pLuS, wE pUt SoMeOnE oN tHe iNSidE! iSn’T tHaT RiGht, ‘ChUrL’?”

That’s right people. It’s me, Felix. See, after my death in the first game and resurrection as a Servant, I achieved CHIM completely by accident. Faking my death in the Grail War, I allowed Joe to win and achieve divinity. I used the distraction to escape and build a time machine using origami parts made from Echidna’s journal. Traveling back to the earliest point in time in hopes of killing Azathoth, imagine my surprise when I discovered the birthplace of the ROBs! Using my chaos powers, I tricked one into giving me it’s body and became the being known as-

“oH mY gOd nO-oNe cArEs. sToP TrYiNg tO TiE EvErYtHiNg ToGeThEr! iT’s sTuPiD, aNd nO oNe wiLL tHiNk iT’s cOoL. tHiS wAs tHe SamE sHiT yOu puLLeD aT tHe KrAsSmAs SpECiaL. iT wAs StuPiD pAnDeRiNg GaRbAgE tHeN, iT’s eVeN dUmBeR nOw.”

Krankle looked down at the L&R gods.

“bUt hEy, i’M A fAiR gUy. weLL, ActuALLy i’M mOrE oF A cArNiVaL gUy, bUt PoTaToE ToMaTo. hErE’s tHe dEaL, rEjEcTs: wE LeT yOu cOnTiNuE tO mOoCh oFf oUr RoYaLTiEs iF yOu cAn dEfEaT uS iN A dUeL tO tHe dEaTh oF oUr ChOiCe. aCcEpT?”

Ickol looked at her fellow gods in apprehension. “What’s...the...-“

“GiRLie, wE rEaD tHe tHrEaD. StOp TaLkiNG LiKe ThAt. aNyWaYs, tHe aNsWeR tO yOuR eVeNtUaL QuEsTiOn iS: BaTtLe oF tHe bAnDs! DiAnE, MoRa, dRoP a FaT bEaT!”

And so, the single greatest musical duel in the entire multiverse commenced, before, with the power of teamwork, friendship, and a deus ex machina Inqui was able to lead the Ocaeril pantheon to win the duel through an inspired cover of the Quad City DJ’s Space Jam, where Original gave the greatest accordion solo the universe has ever seen, finally winning Ickol’s affections and redeeming Zyr, Helsa and Baldur completely. Unfortunately, so beautiful was the duet between Inqui and Yimor’s ghost, the timeline completely reset, erasing this post from existence. On the plus side, this brought Ocaeril back to life after he had selflessly sacrificed himself by chewing through the cords to the Elaryan gods’ electric guitars while they were still plugged in.

 

[Space Buddha]

Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Kingly K Duel | Scrump_Diddle | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck | CutieBoop | NihiloExDeus | Gravitys Momentum | Just_a_loneley_pilgrim

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GM UPDATE
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Dawn of the New Year: 1400


Somewhere on the streets of Zhailving, a man dressed somewhat cliche attire for one attempting to go unnoticed stood at the base of a lamp post, powered by that novel form of magic those heathen rebels invented known as "electricity". The detective looked down to his timepiece, seeing that his contact should have arrived minutes ago. He tapped his foot, awaiting for his arrival before a strange sound echoed from a nearby alleyway. The detective turned his head, shining a lantern into the alley and creeping forward. Strange groans uttered from within as a thin ribbon suddenly lashed out. The detective lurched out of the way and drew his revolver, shining a light on the source of the tendril. Sure enough, the old hobo was there, a Zeruellim one could easily ascertain, but a drunk one who had forgotten their arranged meeting and attempted to decapitate him. He continued to hold out his weapon, though unsure it would even phase the Zeruellim, but it gave him a sense of security and so he kept it up anyway. Fortunately his kind were not of the more maddening variety that unscrupulous sorcerers would often summon, and as such the creature's response was not immediate evisceration of the detective, but rather to hurl a beer bottle in his general direction, shattering against the wall of a nearby building and sending some alley-cats scurrying off. The detective ducks, and spoke without fear to the abomination before him.

"You're late. And we were meant to meet outside, not in this..."

The detective kicked away a rat that chewed at his shoe.

"Slum..."

/I REQUIRED ALCOHOLIC SUSTENENCE. ZERUELLIM ARE NOT WITHOUT PRIORITIES./

"I... see..."

/NOW... YOU WISHED TO KNOW OF MY RACE'SH QUESHT?/

"Yes, chasing your tails in Kohona last I heard?"

/INDEED, THE 'BIG THREE'SH SHEARCH FOR EVERLASHTING LIEF ISH A MATTER DIFFICLUT TAH KEHP TRACH AHF, AHND IT APPEARSH TO BE A FUTILE ENDAVOAR ON THEAIR PART./

"I'm sorry, what?"

/THE SHEARCH HASH FAILED. WE ARE DOOMED TO DAMNASHION./

"Whatever. I need to know as much about your little 'search' as you can, I'm investigating a murder. Tell me, where have your authorities been active recently in this search for immortality?"

/OUR KIND VENTURED TO THE FOGLANDSH AH TIEM AGO TAH FIND THE SHECRETSH THAT ALLOW THEH FOGMEN TAH LIVE FOREVAH, AN YEHT THAT LAND NOW IS EMBROILED IN'AH GREAT HERESHY, THE FOGMEHN TURN AWAY FROM THEIR GAWD, OPENING THE FAWG TO ALLOW OUTSIDERS WITHIN, AND YET THE GREAT TOWER OF THUNDER NOW LIESH EHN RUINS, DESHTROYED BY TEH NEW KING OF THOSE LANDSH, A MAN OF SHERPENT'S BLOOD. THE IMMORTALITY THEY MAY GRANT ISH LEMETED THOUGH, AHND DON'T SUIT OUR INORGANIK NEEDS./

Spoiler: ooc

The "Big Three" have continued to turn up no results in their search for immortality, much like the Zeruellim. The foglands have turned their backs on their god, corven, due to the actions of Solid Snake, and have opened their lands to outsiders, becoming a friendly power to their neighbors rather than an enemy. They were, at one point, building a large electicity-generating tower, however for some reason, Solid Snake ordered it demolished.

"And, when was this failed expedition?"

/FORTEY SHEVEN OF YER YARS AGAH./

"Damnit man, I said recent! What of all that hulabaloo in the east?"

/AH YESH. THEIR GARDEN OF LIFE NOW LIES IN ASHESH. A FINAL AKT AH DEFIANSHE ASH TEH GAWD'A THEIR ENEMY CERRUPTED THER STOCK'N LEFT THE EMPEROR ALL DISHFIGURRD. NOW HE TOO EMBRACESH THE VOID. HISH HEIR TAKESH THEH THRONE EHN DIS TRYIN' TEIM 'N HOLDSH THEIR NATION TOGETHER. MANY CALL 'IM A VOOKIN IDIOT THOUGH, MAKIN' ALLIANCESH WIF STRANGE ISLAND TRIBES LIEK KOHONA'N EVEN PERSHUIN' PEACE'N LOVE'N ALL THAT SHEIT WIF THEM CATS TO THE EASHT. I CAN UNDERSHTAND TEH FORMAR SHINCE THEY HALF FOUND UPWARSH OF SHIXTY-SHIX POINT NINE PERSHENT'A THE DARK ONE'SH WEAKNESSH, FAR AHEAD'A THE HELSANS WIF THEIR TWENTEH SEVEN PERCENT, BUT THE NEKOSH OOFER 'EM NOTHING. THERE'SH TALKA' REVOLUTION IN THEM PARTSH, FOLKS IN THEH JADE SAYIN' TEH MANDATE'A THEH GODSH'SH BEEN LOSHT, CALLIN' FOR A TURN TO A NEW FAITH, THE FAITH'A JOE. THEY'VE GAINED THE AID'A THE KAHNSH ASHWELL, THOUGH I AM ALSHO AWARE THAT THE NEW RULER HASH PROVEN FAR LESH OF A TYRANT TO THE PEASANTSH OF HIS LAND, BUT HERESHY ISH HERESHY I GUESSH. THOUGH, HIS PLANSH MAKE SHENCE, SINCE THE FORCESH A YHARIM NOW THREATEN TEH WHOLE'A THE EAST, TITANIA ISH BESHIEGED AT DIS MOMENT BY THEH JUNGLE KING./

Spoiler: ooc

Due to the Jade Emperor's paranoia and outright disdain for gods attempting to manipulate him/her, the chi-fruit garden was set ablaze and the emperor hacked off his/her own horns before going into seclusion and eventually dying. His/her heir has taken the throne, doing many of the things ocaeril intended such as attempting to forge trade agreements with places like Kohona and Nekomatus, but this has caused outrage among the general population, who are now beginning to ally themselves with the Centaurs under the faith of joe, likely plotting to overthrow the new emperor, as he/she has, as they would say, "Lost the Mandate of Heaven". Tactically though, the descisions of the new emperor do have some merit, given that Lord Yharim's forces have conquered numerous islands throughout the east, and are currently besieging the kingdom of Titania in an attempt to conquer it, given that even Yharim cannot yet defeat the titan army. Ocaeril now has 66.5% of zyr's weakness, and helsa has 20% of it.

"So, what you are saying is that plan went out the window? Alright. When was this?"

/A HALF-CENTURY PASSHED./

"By Kura, I don't live for five hundred years like you, I'm investigating a murder that happened this week!"

/RITE./

The zeruellim takes a swig from a flagon, seemingly produced out of thin air.

/PERHAPSH YOUR INVESHTIGATION MAY BE AIDED BY KNOWING THE OLD ONESH TO HAVE AWOKENETH. GREAT CFOOLOO WALKSH THEH EARF AND HASH DRIVEN OUT THE FALSE DAGONITESH TO THE DEEPESHT DEAPTHS./

"Cthulhu... where have I heard that name..?"

/HE'SH THE BIG ONE WITH THE SHQUID FASHE./

The zeruellim reached to take another swig from the bottle, but at this point realized it to be empty and the detective spoke once more.

"So, you think this could be related to a cult of cthulhu?"

/NAH MAHN, THEY ALL BROKE UHP SCHINCE THEIR GOD WOKE UP ON'ISH OWN, ALL WENT'N GOT NORMAL JOBSH NOW. NO MORE SHACRIFICHE./

"I see, and this was how many years ago?"

/THIRTY SHOMETHIN./

Spoiler: ooc

Cthulhu has awoken, and the False Dagonites have had their holdings in the ocean severely reduced, no longer being a major world power in any respect. Otherwise, this has not changed much, and many cults of cthulhu have disbanded, now that their very purpose for existence has been fulfilled.

"Are you just using this questioning as an excuse to ramble about the good 'ole days?"

/INDEED, AND THEY WERE GOOD 'OLE DAYSH AS YOU SAY. OUR KIND HAVE BEEN SHCATTERED ACROSSH THE WORLD SHINCE THE GREAT BLACK BEASHT AND THE ARMY OF THE DEAD LAYED WASHTE TO OUR HOMELAND. FITTING. THE LAND OF THE DEAD GOD NOW SHERVES ONLY TO PLAY HOSHT TO THE DEAD./

Spoiler: ooc

Sunfall Reef was decimated by the attack of a void-dragon, which scattered the Zeruellim across the world. Nothing but undead and parasites lives there now.

The zeruellim seemed to notice that it was sobering up, reaching again for its bottle before the bottle was shattered by a shot from the detective's revolver.

/THAT WASH HIGHLY UNCALLED FOR./

"I just needed you to speak normally for once, now, I am investigating a murder of a renowned doctor who allegedly pursued the secrets of alchemy in his spare time, something about an elixir of life? Given the constant pursuits of such secrets by your kind I would guess you might have known them?"

/I NEVER MET OF THE MAN YOU SHPEAK OF./

"Now, when did I ever say it was a man?"

/SHINCE WHEN HAS NICK EVER BEEN A FEMALE./

"Hah, still a little tipsy I see? So you did know him, care to tell me more?"

/FINE. I KNOW HIM TO HAVE WORKED SOME TIME UNDERCOVER, IN THE CULT OF THE DEMON QUEEN. SINCE THE CRYSTALLINE BEASTS IN THE EMPIRE HIS FASCINATION WITH THEM ONLY GREW, AND HE WAS INITIATED AND SERVED AS AN INFORMANT TO THE LORD. INWARDLY HIS MOTIVES DIFFERED HOWEVER, HE SOUGHT A MEANS OF CONVERTING ONESELF INTO AN IMMORTAL DEMON, YET ONE OF PURITY. HE WAS SURE THEIR MAGICS COULD BE TWISTED FOR MEANS OF SALVATION, EVEN SO FAR AS TO HOLD DIALOGUE WITH THE BETRAYER OF THE EMPIRE HIMSELF WHOM SO FEW HAVE SEEN SINCE HE LEFT FOR THAT WICKED ISLAND. HE OBTAINED FOR HIMSELF ONE OF THE DEMONIC GEMS THEY SO FREQUENTLY OFFER TO THE UNWARY, THOUGH AS FAR AS HE EVER TOLD ME, HOWEVER, HIS EFFORTS TO PURIFY SUCH AN ITEM NEVER BORE FRUIT./

Spoiler: ooc

Crystal monsters occasionally pop up in the empire to wreck shit now, and given the experience of the person in this story, they cannot be purified to serve another purpose. Sang is now known as a man guilty of high treason and one of the empire's most wanted.

The detective scratched his chin.

"So, you went from not knowing this man to being a confidante for his most private secrets? Tell me, what was your relation to the victim? Your actual relation. Don't worry, I'm not going to turn you in to those void-crazed madmen or charge you as the victim to save the department's budget. I'm a private detective, I get paid by the hour."

/I SEE. VERY WELL. I KNEW THIS MAN AS THOUGH WE WERE OF THE SAME BROOD. OUR QUESTS ALIGNED AND WE CAME TO PURSUE OUR GOALS TOGETHER, ALONG WITH THE OTHERS. OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS, HOWEVER, ONE PURELY OF NECESSITY./

"The others?"

/THE MANY BEINGS WE KNEW TO HAVE PURSUED THE SAME SECRETS THAT WE REQUIRED. SUCH BEING THOSE STRANGE WANDERERS OF THE WEST WHO SO RECENTLY CLAIMED A LAND OF THEIR OWN. THE SCORPION TRIBES' WITCHCRAFT IS, HOWEVER, MERE PARLOR TRICKS. USELESS TO OUR CAUSE. AS WERE THOSE STRANGE ILLUSIONISTS NOW FOUND IN HIGH PLACES THROUGHOUT THE CITIES. THEY CLAIMED TO HAVE THE SECRETS WE DESIRED. THIS WAS, HOWEVER, A LIE./

"Alright... Tell me, did you two make any enemies along the way? Dismembering someone and throwing their remains into a river is certainly the M.O of the Helsan cult, could it have been that they had found him out?"

/UNLIKELY. LIKE MY KIND THE ALCHEMIST WAS A TRAVELLER. ANY CULTISTS OF THAT BRAND WOULD HAVE TO HAVE FOLLOWED HIM FROM THE NORTH. WE DID, HOWEVER, MAKE MANY ENEMIES TO THE SOUTH. IN OUR VENTURE TO THE SCORPION TRIBE AND INVESTIGATIONS OF LARION AND KERETAS, DISCOVERY OF STRANGE BEINGS OF NO TRUE FORM AND ARMIES OF LIKEWISE PSEUDO-HUMAN THINGS, APPEARING OF YOUR RACE YET WITH A TRUE FORM MOST ALIEN, THOUGH NOT COMPARABLE TO THE GLORY OF MY OWN. MOREOVER, MY FRIEND, A GENIUS AS HE WAS, WAS INDEED OF NOBLE BLOOD. HIS DECISION TO CALL THE QUEEN IN RAGS A 'FARMGIRL' TO HER FACE, NOT A WISE ONE IN MY OPINION./

The detective holsters his revolver, beginning to get a feel for what this Zeruellim and the Victim had been doing for these years of their lives.

Spoiler: ooc

The Scorpi have claimed a homeland under the influence of Ickol, though it is quite small and not really significant enough to be called a country. Illusionists of Ickol's courts have also been able to rise to the ranks of court mages in numerous of the remaining city states, along with larger countries save for isolationists such as the cenobites or the biome. Larion is firmly in the grip of the dopplegangers, who now have an army of specially bred changelings who can switch between human and monster form at will, though they only have one distinct humanoid appearance and can't look like anyone. Another decently-sized city state worth noting is the one under the control of the "Queen in Rags", Ickol's champion, so named for rising from the status of a peasant to the big time in almost no time at all.

"So, the two of you were adventurers? Guildsmen? Murder-hoboes?"

/THE FIRST IS A FITTING DESCRIPTION FOR OUR EXPLOITS, THOUGH WE WERE NOT OF THE GUILD OF HEROES, NOR WERE WE KILLERS. THOUGH ON OCCASION I WAS FORCED TO BRING MY LIMBS TO BARE IN THE FACE OF MONSTERS AND HIGHWAYMEN./

"I see, well, aside from assassinations ordered by offended royalty or a conspiracy of shapeshifters, were there any more, say, personal enemies that the two of you might have made in your adventures? People who his deeds may have affected more drastically?"

/INDEED. HE SOUGHT MAGICAL ASSISTANCE FROM A NUMBER OF STRANGE NATURE SPIRITS. ONE-LEGGED MEN AND OTHER BIZARRE CREATURES, THEY SOUGHT OUR AID AND MY COMPANION FELT INDEBTED TO THE BEINGS BY VIRTUE OF ONE HELPING HIM THROUGH A TRYING TIME, A PINK DOLPHIN AS HE DESCRIBED IT./

"And how does this relate to you making enemies?"

/THE AID WE GRANTED RAN AFOUL OF THE VOID-WORSHIPPING FANATICS, AS DOES ANY ACT TO SLOW THE SPREAD OF THEIR CORRUPTION. THEIR TRUE HATRED LIES WITH THE FAIR FOLK WHO BRING LOST BEINGS BACK FROM THE VOID OF EXTINCTION, AND OUR DEEDS WERE INNOCUOUS, HOWEVER, AND OFFERINGS WE MADE TO THESE SPIRITS IN EXCHANGE FOR THEIR MAGICAL KNOWLEDGE LIKELY WERE NOT ENOUGH TO PERMIT SUCH A WHOLESALE SLAUGHTER. I SUSPECT ANOTHER BEING IS AT WORK IN THAT./

"Damn, and I almost had you on accessory to mass murder."

/WAS THAT A JOKE. I STILL HAVE ISSUES COMPREHENDING YOUR CONCEPT OF SUCH THINGS./

"Yes, it was. Now, tell me, was the victim acting strangely recently? Seeming worried or anxious about anything?"

/INDEED. HIS JOURNEY TO THE EMPIRE LEFT HIM SHAKEN. THOUGH THE LAND MAY NOW BE A PRISTINE ONE SINCE ITS SHIFT TO THE MOUNTAINS, ITS ALLIANCE WITH THE REVELRY SINCE THEIR DEFEAT AT THE HANDS OF THE FOUR PIRATE LORDS AND THEIR RECENT TIMES OF WAR HAVE LEFT THE PLACE A DEN OF CRIME AND VILLAINY. I SUSPECT HE CAME INTO THE DEBT OF ONE OF THE IMPERIAL CRIME LORDS, THOUGH HE WOULD NOT TELL ME MORE. HE WENT TO THE LAND TO SEEK AN ARTIFACT OF ELVEN MAKE, ONE THAT COULD RESHAPE THE BODY AND EXTEND LIFE, PLUNDERED IN THE WAR AGAINST THE FLESH THAT HATES, AND HE OBTAINED IT AS HE SAID, YET HE WOULD NOT TELL ME HOW, ONCE AGAIN./

"I see... anyone in particular who you think he is indebted to, who may have come to collect before things went south?"

Spoiler: ooc

The brazillian fae creatures now exist, although to be honest I did not research the entirety of brazillian and greater latin american mythology just for this one GM post, so the implications of that escape me. The followers of Zyr have been in decline due to a string of mysterious deaths, the cause being Avatars of Debt. Due to an alliance with the Revelry and a theocratic takeover, the Empire has become even more of a den of scum and villainy than it already was. Offscreen, they waged "The War Of The Flesh", a war against the Cenobites which saw them lose significant amounts of territory and now hold onto only a few comorragh-like cities in the deep forests. The Pirate Lords were also victorious in the pirate wars, driving the remaining huskarr at sea back to their homeland and forcing the revelry to ally with the empire in the first place. The empire has additionally moved its capital into more mountainous regions, closer to the borders with the gnomes.

/NOTHING HUMAN./

The detective cocked an eyebrow.

"Elaborate."

"IN THAT LAND HE SOUGHT OUT A LEGENDARY LAKE IN THE MOUNTAINS, GUARDED BY A WINGLESS DRAGON WITH AN IRON SKULL. THE LAKE HELD AN ARTIFACT OFFERING MASTERY OF TIME ITSELF. WE HAD HOPED TO SUSPEND OURSELVES IN FROZEN TIME TO AWAIT WHEN THE THREAT OF DAMNATION HAD SUBSIDED. ALAS, THE DRAGON'S ARMOR PROVED INVULNERABLE TO ANY WEAPON WE COULD OBTAIN LEGALLY, AND SOME THAT MAY HAVE BEEN OBTAINED LESS THAN LEGALLY."

"Since when do dragons travel to Zhailving to slit a man's throat?"

/SINCE WHEN DO VEINS OF ORE SPEAK WITH THE INTELLIGENCE OF A HUNDRED MEN THINKING AS ONE, OR YELLOW FOXES APPEAR AND DISAPPEAR TO EVADE THE HUNTER? THIS WORLD IS A STRANGE ONE MY FRIEND./

"'Eh, fair point, but I highly doubt a dragon would have done this. The wounds found on the victim were clearly inflicted with some kind of blade, an extremely sharp one by the look of it, no burns were found."

/COULD THOSE BLADES HAVE BEEN CLAWS? I KNOW HIM TO HAVE SOUGHT OUT A DEMON WHO WAS ONCE A MAN, NOW LEAVING DESTRUCTION IN HIS WAKE IN VILLAGES ACROSS THE WEST./

"No I'm pretty sure they were blades..."

The detective eyes the Zeruellim's filaments, which it seems to quickly retract.

/I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, BUT I KNOW OF A MORE LOGICAL SUSPECT./

"You do?"

/INDEED. NICHOLAS WAS AN AVID GAMBLER AS YOU LIKELY KNOW, AND ATTEMPTED TO, AS ONE WOULD SAY, CHEAT BOOMTOWN./

"Oh?"

/HE FOUND THAT THROUGH A FEW LUCKY ROLLS, ALONG WITH SELLING HIS ENTIRE LIFESPAN SAVE FOR A YEAR, HE COULD PURCHASE AGELESSNESS WITHOUT FAULT, AND WE HAD THOUGHT OUR SALVATION AT HAND./

"That's brilliant! What happened then?"

/ADMINISTRATION SEEMED TO CATCH ON TO THE FLAW IN THEIR PRICING OF THESE MAGICAL PRIZES, AND BUMPED IT UP. THEY RETROACTIVELY REVOKED HIS IMMORTALITY AND HE RECOVERED HIS LIFESPAN. PROTESTS WERE GREAT, AND THE BOOMTOWN ASSOCIATION'S PATRONAGE FELL DRASTICALLY. THEY STILL RECIEVE ANGERED LETTERS AND TELEGRAMS TO THIS DAY, AND NICHOLAS WAS AT SOLE FAULT FOR THIS OUTRAGE. NO DOUBT, MANY IN THE ADMINISTRATION WISHED ILL FATE ON HIM, THE DRACONIC CHIEF OF THE ORGANIZATION MAY HAVE ORDERED THE HIT HIMSELF. I HAVE SEEN MANY OF THEIR THUGS ROAMING THIS CITY AS OF LATE, APPARENTLY FOR THE PURPOSE OF 'DAMAGE CONTROL'./

Spoiler: ooc

Psychic and steel pokemon exist, though thanks to Phil only in places where it would actually make sense, IE: They are not common. The zeruellim gives an example of metagrosses living in clusters in deep caves, and wild abras. The Time Gears likewise exist, though are guarded by pokemon such as Heatran, which is described here as a wingless dragon. So far, no one has managed to successfully steal one. Morlock has trashed a number of villages likely in triple digits over the years, and the Boomtown casinos now exist. They were at the center of controversy recently as someone managed to discover a loophole that, by selling one's entire lifespan save for one year, they could gain enough chips to buy immortality. Casino administration revoked his immortality immediately and bumped up that reward's price, which has resulted in massive boycotts, given that he wasn't technically cheating. Still, they remain fairly popular destinations.

"Interesting... anything else of note? Any other people he may have angered?"

/YES. HE MADE A TRIP TO THE TRITONIC ARCHIPELAGO, SEEKING KNOWLEDGE OF A STRANGE ARTIFACT HELD THERE SAID TO GRANT A FORM OF CYCLICAL IMMORTALITY, ALONG WITH A BLESSING UPON THE LAND. THIS BLESSING IS, HOWEVER, A CURSE, AS SINCE THE DEMONIC INVASION OF THOSE ISLANDS AND THE DEATH OF CYOGNAX, THE ROYAL LINE IS SAID TO BE IN A NEVER-ENDING CONFLICT WITH THAT DEMON AND HIS ACCURSED REINCARNATIONS, FACILITATED BY THAT ARTIFACT. SADLY, IT CAME TO OUR KNOWLEDGE THAT IT CAN ONLY SUSTAIN THREE PEOPLE AT A TIME IN THIS STATE, BINDING THEM FOREVER AS ONE YET KEEPING THEIR SOULS ALIVE. IT COULD, IN ITS CURRENT STATE, ONLY HOLD ONE MORE SOUL./

Spoiler: ooc

The triforce exists, although it couldn't sustain itself with only the 'wisdom' aspect bonded to a person. It managed to attract the demon-pirate lord Cyognax, who was killed by an as of yet unnamed hero (speck has dibs on making his reincarnation) and cursed their reincarnations forever, essentially becoming a pseudo-ganon. Note that the triforce allows them to reincarnate in the first place despite the existence of Zyr's hell. Stealing the courage egg/triangle was the motivation for this zeruellim to murder his friend in a fit of passion.

"And so THAT was why you murdered him, wasn't it?"

/WAIT WHAT./

"You both wanted to live forever, the artifact could only sustain one soul, so as you plotted to steal it, you killed him! Didn't you?"

/I... YOU HAVE NO PROOF./

"You sure? The knot on the bag I found his remains in would never have been tied in such a way by human hands, indicating one of your kind killed him. I know of no other Zeruellim with close relation to the victim, and it seems to me that you had motive, means, and opportunity. Of course I'm sure we could clear your name, were we to run some tests on that blood on your monofilaments."

The detective smirked and pointed to them, which the Zeruellim had been trying and failing to cover up.

/YOU... MUST UNDERSTAND... IT WAS A CRIME OF PASSION./

"I get that a lot, let's get you down to the station."









Meanwhile...

(Just add 19 more thrones.)

The pantheon materialized in the hall of gods, as they tended to do, and noticed something amiss. The throne of the judge no longer stood empty, and indeed a new one filled its seat. Looking around the place, this new god would see a great golden feasting table, lined with plates of "Ambrosia" and "Nectar", that he would find in reality tasted a bit like doomsday rations and five dollar beer, respectively. The others sat on thrones like his, all inlayed with gold and precious jewels. A strange being resembling the moon, which this hall seemed to be on given the the immense glass ceiling showing a breathtaking view of the world below, or above, given the angle they were looking at. At the very end of the hall, opposite the thrones, was a levitating globe seeming to act as a portal to the world at large, and on one wall was a map seeming to display ecological data about said world, seeming decidedly more technological than anything else in the room. At the opposite side, a being seeming to not be of the other gods, but similarly divine provided ambient music on a piano. It resembled a human with a crescent moon for a head. Of course, this was all routine for the others, and the Judge had, of course, been here many times before.

Just_a_loneley_pilgrim ​

 

[Space Buddha]

• Zyr Vs Ocaeril
• Lord Yu

• 
  _________________________________________________________________________________________________
  GM Update: PVP
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  Selee-01 | Celestial Speck
  
  Zyr'Abaoth
  ================================================================================
  
  Ocaeril:
  ===================================================
  
  Whatever Ocaeril had intended to do, he succeeded, knocking Zyr into the air but only dealing superficial damage by the look of it, especially given the fact that simply hitting him in the back of the head carried very little weight in regards to lethality. Regardless, Zyr fell into a pile of ashen sand many meters away.
  
• 
  

  Yu smiled sheepishly.
  
  "Yeah I forgot about that sorry, I'll fix that hold on"
  
  Yu then shifted the waters, to make sure it'll
  
  Yu chuckled sheepishly
  
  "Okay, okay, my bad"
  
  Yu waved his hands and all of the water was waved away, dissipating into nothingness, leaving the dry palace, any damages caused by the water floods were fixed, unfortunately, anything else that was incurred due to other reasons like says the rebels weren't.
  
  "Done! Couldn't fix what the rebels did, which was a pity, this place is pretty great, I mean I made it so yeah makes sense"

  
  "Thank you, your hi-"
  
  The emperor would feel a mental slap in the face from Aiwass, before rephrasing.
  
  "Thank you, Lord Yu. Now... I'll admit I am amazed that... wow you are really here? What does this mean? Are the end times upon us? Are we to conquer the world? Why have you returned aside simply to quash the rebellion?"
  
  

 

[Space Buddha]

• KURANTSE VS FARMER JOE
• GM UPDATE

• 
  
  Stikes | Gravitys Momentum
  
  JOE
  =========================
  
  KURANTSE
  =========================
  
  Kurantse manages to deflect Joe's scythe, sending it far as it embedded into the ground, though it did manage to clip his shoulder as he did so. Joe, meanwhile, was barely effected by the coin blast, looking no worse for wear than kurantse. At this point, it was still anyone's fight.
  
• 
  

  Ocaeril'adabaoth, Conversational
  
  Space Buddha
  
  Ocaeril'adabaoth just noticed something in his long respite between the boundaries of Space-Time. In a particular spot of the eastern part of the world, worship of him was almost absolute. It was a rare sight, given back in the day when he actually cared for such things like worship, followers, and things that really only serve for bragging rights nowadays-- he only had worshiped in smaller areas of nations. Belonging to larger, more absolute gods. It was surprising, given this continent's story with other gods he is close with, too. Said continent being Nekomatus. Frankly speaking...It was a bit ironic he discovered this now, as he walked through the streets of the world, disguised as a simple human buying groceries to...
  
  Well, buy groceries.
  
  Apparently they worshipped him in a way called 'Shinto.' His worship was almost absolute, with very few gods actually being worshipped there aside from him. It was curious, given once in the past, Inqui's own incarnate acted on behalf of the draconic hero goddess. For all intents and purposes, she should be the main focus of the religion there...And yet she wasn't. Was it because of Chakra? Was it because of their existence as cat-like creatures? Or simply because of his own interest and origins as a god with eastern-ties?
  
  It was curious enough for him to investigate it. Finishing buying his groceries, Ocaeril would go through an alleyway, and unnoticed by people, the Yomotsu Hirasaka Jutsu took, as Ocaeril opened a gap in reality once more, and passed through it. The groceries going to his home, while as in the milliseconds he passed through the portal, his form changed nearly instantly to fit the Nekomatus depictions of him. A semi androgynous yet feminine-leaning two-tailed tiger creature. With look white hair that reached the ground, and a long and open traditional outfit. It looked somewhat like his Youkai disguise, to be frank.
  
  

  

  
  
  Perhaps that was why said Youkai form felt so natural when he acted on the Land of Illusions? He may never know.
  
  Ocaeril passed through the portal, his form intangible and invisible, reaching the other side. A relatively common shrine. No large worship center or anything-- he didn't want to draw attention. The fewer people, the better. From there, he would observe, and perhaps appear if the cannibalistic cat-people piqued his interest. They were cute, but again, they were cannibals...Oh well. Inqui seems to like them, and new knowledge is always useful. So he might as well.

  
  Ocaeril would find this land to be quite a jarring sight. At least, from a perspective of evolution. Under the sky made a light cream color by Yinqui's shimmering barrier, the village he stood in was as it was a century ago, not a trace of modernity in sight and with the people dwelling there seeming quite happy with this. Indeed the only infrastructure appearing to be new are various couches and other soft structures for the nekos to lay on, among other things. The activities of the town and even his own shrine would resemble those described by the strange Seer of the Throne in tales of Inqui's paradise, decadence and complacency abound. These people had stagnated, no question of it, likely due to a lack of outside forces courtesy of their barrier. The shrine-maiden would preach to her sisters of the countless manifestations of Ocaeril in nature, all things they seemingly worshipped in varying ways but the complexity of their faith had clearly atrophied over the centuries. Still, it was one of the more interesting expressions of his doctrine he had seen, worshipping each aspect of him as a seperate being with the greater whole being depicted as his true form. Fitting, as even now the nekos are far too proud a people to depict their god as one among their most ancient foe.
  
  

 

[Space Buddha]

@Revan4221 | @BlackCat-055 | @Scrump_Diddle | @Stikes | @KolastoRPN | @The Void Ever Watching | @Selee-01 | @Churl | @Barbas | @Lolface390 | @Celestial Speck | @CutieBoop | @NihiloExDeus | @Gravitys Momentum | @Just_a_loneley_pilgrim | tacenda

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
GM UPDATE
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dawn of the New Year: 1450




Somewhere in eastern Zhailving, away from the front lines and the constant sirens and battering of shells on the earth, an old man sat in his office, occasionally taking a swig from a bottle containing something chemically identical to rocket fuel and awaiting that familiar ‘Ding’ of the bell, indicating his secretary had sent him up a client. He was an old man now, long past his prime and ready to retire, though he would never admit such a thing, for a man in Zhailving never retires, at least not anymore. He works, and then works some more, and then eventually dies, or so he always thought. This case, however, would prove stranger than most as a knock on the door precedes the entrance of a woman, not your typical dame either, judging by the flowing black robes and ceremonial dagger at her hip, as well as the long mask and silver headgear she wore under her already face-concealing hood. The detective looked her up and down as she simply took a seat in front of his desk, not bothering to really consider why one would arrive in full occultic regalia given how such wasn’t a rare sight, what with the war seeming to unleash hell itself on the world. He couldn’t tell her race given the mask, though her lithe figure would suggest an Exodite. He would speak softly to her, trying to look her in the eye but just seeing the brim of her hood.

“May I help you, miss?”

She spoke, though her face remained concealed and her voice seemed strangely panicked for one who just marched into a detective agency looking like they had just sacrificed a puppy to Helsa.

“Y-Yes in fact. I’m looking for information on a number of missing persons, and I was hoping you could help me with that.”

The detective poured a glass of basement booze and slid it across the desk to the cultist, leaning back and putting his feet up.

“I sure can but I’ll need to know who, or what I’m looking for.”

She produces a photograph, a black and white image of an exodite in a similar robe to her own.

“Another of my order, by the name of Denver Weishaupt, we last knew of him to be investigating that cult of fishermen.”

“What, you mean those clerics? The one who the angels’a the world itself will bend the knee to? How could they’a dunnit? They even take oaths to do no harm for Kurantse’s sake! Besides, they are too busy with the plagues hitting the coast to worry about some fool diggin’ up dirt on ‘em, what with keeping quarantine going and makin’ sure some bloated fool don’t go huggin’ people in the cities.”

“I know not how, though those strange beings of light they bind to this world are not of their order, and follow none of our laws. It is said they speak to kings and emperors, ruling our world from the shadows.”

The detective nodded, starting to get this dame’s schtick.

“Ah I get it, you’re wunna those ‘transmundanist’ freaks. I don’t think your man was taken as part of a global conspiracy ma’am, if this guy was rootin’ through trash in a fishin’ village in the dead’a night he probably just got nabbed by a False Dagonite, thems be hungrier than usual, you know. ‘Specially since they started throwin’ up bodies to the surface and attacking the biome. Luckly they ain’t that bad down there, there may be a lot but they ain’t much compared to what the biome’s packin’. Foglands ain't so lucky though, somethin' like'a makoid ghost nabbed the king, some 'serpent lord' who s'posedly never dies, ain't been seen for years now.”

Spoiler: ”Translation”

The angels exist now, and are often summoned by children of the sea and similar cleric orders, they are also suspected by some to secretly be ruling the world, though this is a fringe belief. Makoids have also been becoming increasingly aggressive, launching all-out attacks against the biome, but not having much luck in that area. The Fungal ninjas have also apprehended Solid Snake.

“Do not call me a freak, sir, and most definitely do not call a makoid a false dagonite, they are very, very different things now.”

The detective raised an eyebrow.

“Oh really? How so?”

“They are called makoids now, tainted by the goddess of evil herself to have heightened intelligence and power, and now wage a war across the deep against the true Dagonites. They battle the dark lord Cthulhu and the great ones of the underdark who aid him with their immense numbers, and cast those they strike down to the surface. The fighting we have seen on the surface and in shallow waters speak nothing of the horrors to come. Besides, he never personally ventured to the holdings of the cult, no makoid would have ever been in arms-length of him.”

“...Right… anyway! So, was he into anything a bit more strange? Being in your order he must have crossed paths with a few unsavory characters.”

“Indeed, though his strangest encounter was in the isles of the menehune. Partaking in their culture he donned a hat of their own make. And it came to life. We assumed him to be bewitched, perhaps there is a connection?”

The detective chuckles at this.

“Ah, not a thing, apparently some the eastern fae migrated into the central sea some years ago, hats comin’ta life is completely natural in those parts, nothing to worry ‘bout.”

“Indeed it is, for those that left their realm did so out of disdain for the nine-tailed tyrant who rules it now, a godlike being with-”

“Look can you stop that? The conspiracy theories are getting old.”

Spoiler: ”Translation”

The makoids were transformed into what they are now by Helsa, and have retaliated against Cthulhu and the deep ones with their now enhanced forms. Currently they have turned the tide of the war in their favor, and despite the aid of the aboleths slowing their expansion considerably, their physiology limits them to the deep sea and thus the makoids are uncontested in shallow waters. Additionally, a small number of yokai may have fled the yokai realm after Ocaeril’s conquest of it, choosing instead to reside on eastern islands without any presence of the Jade Empire.

She looks at the ground, muttering an apology.

“Now, aside from the possibility of having been eaten by his hat, we must look into other avenues of investigation, unless you know the whereabouts of said hat.”

“I do not, sir. It was lost along with him.”

“Then the hat may have gone into hiding or been an additional victim, though I wonder… Who would kill a hat… aha!”

“What is it?”

“The empire of course! Since the great revolution they’ll chop the heads off any fool who catches himself displeasin’ rulers there, hat and all! Parta’ the reason we went to war in the first place!”

“The… great revolution? I can’t say I’ve heard of it.”

The detective did a literal spit-take, covering the young woman’s robes in alcoholic beverage and causing his own glasses to fall to his desk. He hastily puts them back on, apologizing to the cultist now coated in the substance, offering her a towel and taking care not to recall any wet tunic contests as he spoke once more.

“Have you been livin’ under a rock? Neva’ heard of the revolution? The thing that led us to be fightin’ this damn war right now?”

“Can’t say I have.”

The detective, a nationalist as always, took a pause from his discussion of a missing person to tell her some rather important world history, of course through the lense of a Zhailving inhabitant.

“Well here’s how it is. Used to, Empire up north was ruled by some Church, and used to be allies of our nation. The clergy had all but driven out the nobility, with them and the workers ruling the whole state. Compare it all’ya want to the Leninites and their heresy but it worked for them, that is ‘til one of the old nobles stumbled across some kinda’ ancient site, probably built by the exarchs back in their hayday given the lake’a rotted corpses around it. Thing was booby trapped to hell though, but the man had a way ‘round that. He probably flew up there on one of those fancy aeroplanes, that or took up one of those blasted flyin’ bees. Either way he got up there and was offered a wish by some old dark god, took it and wished for an end to the clergy’s rule’a the empire. Man got his wish and way more, workers rose up and slaughtered the priests, nobles too, then when those ran out them started slaughterin’ eachother. People called it the reign’a terror, but’a bit’ve a stretch, nothin’ really changed out sidea’ the cities, villages still got their priests’n the faith’a farmin’ remain strong, they still gettin’ taxed to hell’n back though since some crazy dictator ran the country to the ground ‘til makin’ the mistake’a executing some of our ambassadors. Last mistake he ever made! Hah! So anyway we launched the first strike, things were goin’ real well ‘till those nutters from the south with all that weather magic started goin’ at their neighbors, didn’t have the money to fight’em down there so we left ‘em alone, then they invaded! Now we stuck fightin’ a war on two fronts with a bunch’a backward hicks’n their old god’sa shit’n piss or whatever. Now we on the brink, but empire’s all but gone from the north, folks in the villages east’a the mountains left ta’ rebuild. Colonies takin’ the chance to rebel too, Huskarra’s free for the first time since the war’a the tusk and rumor has it they’ve made an empire’a their own, if you can call them savages an empire, though it said they been talkin’ with those things’n the south, I ain’t sure what lives on the ice down there but it ain’t good. The Naga finally got a land to call their own too, and we got the empires’ c lands’ta the north now, but war ain’t over yet! To the east they still lobbin’ shells at us and those folks south’a here’n their demigods or whatever they be called still gettin’ uppity, we gonna win though, mark my words ‘least so long as another meteor don’t hit the front lines n’ call up all sorts’a monsters..”

“Uhm, regarding one bit of that, and forgive me if I am wrong, though that execution of the ambassador was faked by your government, was it not? I believe they simply killed two of their ambassadors as a prelude to invade a divided land.”

The detective glared at her, giving her only partial leeway on the fact that she was part of a conspiracy cult. On anyone else, he would have called them in for treason.

“That’s treasonous talk there…”

Spoiler: ”Translation”

Due to an extremely unfortunate chain of events, involving a noble wishing upon Baldur’s monkey’s paw-esque tower for the downfall of the clergy, a french revolution-style uprising occurred in the Empire, largely effecting the cities but also plunging the rest of the country into economic crisis. A reign of terror soon followed, with worship of joe being replaced in areas controlled by the new ruling class with a “Cult of Reason” and effectively executing the entire previous ruling class. Joe’s teachings were preserved in rural areas, but matters turned worse when colonies such as Huskarra started revolting, huskarra forming the tsardom and the Naga finally having something good happen to them as their island is freed. Presumably, Helsa’s artifact was partially to blame for the insanity of the new rulers, and Zhailving used the instability of the empire to launch an invasion. They were winning this war up until Andy’s kingdom to the south began it’s expansion. The war is currently ongoing, but the entirety of the west is effectively bombing itself back into the stone age. Airplanes were invented, and the Huskarr have forged an alliance with the Glorious Republic of Club Penguin on the southern ice sheet. The northern mainland territories of the empire have been annexed, though the ones east of the mountains are fine, being the main metropolitan center of the nation. Otherwise, borders have not shifted much save for kingdoms like Larion and other misc city states losing some territory to Andy’s kingdom. Zhailving is currently managing to sustain its war effort.

“Apologies, sir, I’ve had some trouble sleeping as of late.”

“Lemme guess, dream demons? Big black blobs suckin’ on’ya brain or some shit like that? Don’t tell me ma but those things’re real, one’s supposedly able to even come into the real world’n pull’ya into your dreams, kill’ya for real. They call ‘im Astaroth, but I call’im freddy, seems fitting.”

The detective’s drunkenness was beginning to show, and the conspiracist seemed confused.

“No… I simply have had a haunting at my home as of late, the wailing has kept me up.”

“I feel’ya there, I say since the last Day’a the dead I feel them things be gettin’ more’n more common. Back in my day You’d see one’r two now’n then, ‘course on the day itself all hell broke loose, lit’rally! Hah!”

As the man’s drunkenness became ever-more apparent, the cultist’s interest was sparked regarding his experience.

“You witnessed the first Day of the Dead?”

“Eyyyup! Was workin’ a case up north when the sky tore open’n those things started pourin’ out, watched some poor bloke get possessed while those things went screaming ‘bout some centuries in the abyss. I picked up a hitchhiker me’self once, damn buggers real pests whisperin’ to ya’ ‘bout all their unfinished business, but I guess that’s all just a fact’a life now, never wanted’ta pay some wizard, I don’t trust’em, and I sure as hell ain’t goin anywhere near’a dungeon, even if they s’posedly scare off ghosts, ain’t sure why but my folks say their ghosts got gone just from standin’ at the gates’a one. Not worth’it though if you ask me, ghosts tend’ta just vanish on their own after’a while for whatever reason, though you’ll sometimes see’em again changed, weird balls’a gas or mask’totin beasties in Azran. ‘Not that I care, I don’t mind the company.”

A small, ghostly hand emerges from his ear, giving a thumbs up as the cultist presumably blinks behind her face-concealing plague doctor mask coated in tin foil.

Spoiler: ”Translation”

Freddy Kruger exists in the form of Astaroth, as well as a multitude of other dream-demons capable of haunting humans and other races in their sleep. The destruction of Zyr’s afterlife marked the “Day of the Dead”, when millions of ghosts came to ocaeril. They tend to vanish on their own after a while due to arceus’s waiting room, or end up getting taken by a dungeon, but a huge number are still out there, and are mostly either hitching a ride on a human in a vein similar to a Body Thetan or Solar Plexus Clown Glider, or have been reborn into the form of ghost type pokemon. Despite their decreasing number, they are still incredibly common, though will likely be gone on the whole by next turn or the next. The day of the dead, however, remains an annual holiday, similar to the traditional holiday in mexico.

“Anyway, *hic*, where was’ya boy last seen?”

“He had chartered a ship sailing from the empire to Angel Island, My order knows its inhabitants to be the smokescreen of a sinister extradimensional force.”

“Ah don’t believe that crap, I’ve seen ‘em before and they ain’t the brightest bunch, everyone’s pointin’ to those wonky-ass sticks they carry ‘round and something ‘bout a portal on that island what looks like a face, but I tell ‘ya it’s all baloney.”

Spoiler: ”Translation”

The Nymphids may or may not have been brought to Ocaeril by Original, but either way, they have become an equivalent to how Roswell Greys are in reality. UFOlogists claim to see their spacecraft and people will claim to have been abducted and probed by them. They do not come in peace.

The cultist shook her head disapprovingly at this.

“If you cannot open your mind, then perhaps I should take my business elsewhere.”

She got up to walk away, and the Detective, admittedly desperate for work given the financial calamity befalling his nation, shot up and started doing what any sane man would do when faced with an insane one, prove that he is not, in fact, a sane man at all.

"Now hol’ up right there! I got an open mind! I believe’n loads’a stuff! Like, remember how all that drought what turned the scorpi lands’n the borders’a Carcosa into that godawful desert, ate a chunka’ the exodite lands’n the exarchi peninsula, and the eastern province here got dried out too? Then like, one day, a bunch’a oases ‘n rivers’n shit just filled back up?”

The cultist turned back around, her interest seemingly peaked.

“How could I forget such a glorious display of the unexplained.”

“And then when all those quakes hit? ‘N volcanoes eruptin’ in the great sea? Bringin’ up a whole new chunk’a land so damn rich in voidsteel? There’s so much’a the shit that the Gnomes up’n hopped on steamboats to settle the place, n’ the Revelry been wantin’ a piece too. Not to mention all the weird-ass creatures been showing up near those spots due to what scientists be callin’ ‘radiation’ or something like that. Now, hear me out one sec…”

The cultist seemed intrigued.

“I’m listening.”

“So, people were thinkin’ the gates’a hell itself opened up on the Day’a the Dead, but here’s what I think. Ghosts always speaka’ endless grey sands, constant stormin’ n’ massive towers when speakin’a hell, now, sound familiar?”

“Oh…”

“I’m thinkin the gates’a hell didn’t open on us, but hell itself came down ‘ere!”

The cultist practically swooned at this. The heat of the room and the glorious conspiracies unwravelling before her eyes and the ecstatic realization of the Storm Desert’s true nature, that of hell itself on earth, forced her to remove her mask and hood, revealing the face of a young-ish woman, though age is hard to tell with elves. Her porceline-doll appearance was only marred by intricate patterns that seemed practically burnt into her face and neck, as well as her hands now that attention was drawn to it. The mark of an Alien Abductee.

Spoiler: ”Translation”

When Ocaeril fused with Zyr, the environment of the planet shifted to reflect that. A desert continent appeared in the sea west of the west and east of the east, and areas of the environment were transformed into “Void Deserts”, resembling Zyr’s afterlife. Due to the interventions of Ocaeril and Tiamat, they were made slightly more habitable, with rivers and oases forming and edible plants forming in the area. The most prominent areas transformed were the holdings of the Scorpi, “Queen in Rags”, and the borders of Carcosa in the west, and the northern steppes in the east.

“A truly profound deduction of the truth, and though you spared the detail of the goddess breaking water in the sky to make the rivers, I am humbled, and intrigued…”

She returned to the chair, and the Detective smirked. This was not the first dame he had talked back into that chair by appealing to her bizarre interests, though this train of speculation did not end there.

“The associate of mine in question had ventured to that land before, the beings there are of a strange sort, not of flesh and with long memories. Perhaps he angered one of the natives of Azran in his journey there, maybe a native contracted the secret order of that land.”

“Desert assassins? Heard’a them, popped up right around when the new continent rose up’n there’s about a hundred unsolved murders with members as suspects. We’d’a bombed ‘em outta their hole a long time ago, if it wasn’t for, well…”

His sentence is punctuated by the perfectly timed explosion of a bomb, and the air raid siren following said explosion.

“Though they tend not’ta take contracts from anyone short’a those with’a mountain’a gold and tend just to kill at random, or for some weird plots for the world I guess. Lemme ask, was your friend over there involved in any sort’a politics or something like that? Maybe’a noble blood?”

Spoiler: ”Translation”

A notorious guild of assassins has taken up residence on the desert continent, conducting political assassinations for their own benefit and for the highest bidder. So far, no one has been able to do anything about them. The Novakin also inhabit the island, though their civilization is scattered and not recognized by the governments of the world.

She seemed to think it over for a second before answering.

“Of a sort… He, like me, was experimented on by extraterrestrials. His entire blood supply was dyed blue through some form of advanced medical procedure, and he was probed extensively. Though, I am unsure whether you could call the blood of such advanced beings noble…”

The detective took a long, slow drink from his bottle.

“Right… Uh, could the aliens’ve abducted him again?”

“Unlikely, the Inquitans seem only to take interest in developed areas, and his visits to such were brief in recent years, with all the time he spent in the Tritonic isles. Even after the destruction of the dungeon core Cygon at the hands of their champion, and the subsequent burial of his nest, the land is slow to recover.”

“Right, ‘ole ancient curse’n all that, damn fishmen can’t seem ta’ catch’a break.”

“Indeed, though they may have been spared a fate worse than what that curse brought to bare, did you hear of the outcome of that war in the east?”

“Eyyup, Some kinda magic the Titanians worked drove them ravin’ beasts mad, still did a number on the poor ‘ole island but ripped ‘emselves ‘part too. That ‘Jungle King’ ‘parrently went missin’ too, left’is kingdom a bunch’a savages once more from what those agents reported, they say the Kohonans iced ‘em, but I don’t believe a word’a it, the titanian never took credit and some kinda’ dryad said one’a his own took ‘im out.”

“A… dryad..?”

“Yeah some lassie with’a horn, she’s big in Titania last I heard, lovely singin’ bird that one.”

“I believe you mean singing lizard.”

“What?”

The cultist nodded in confirmation.

“Aliens such as herself disguise themselves as feminine nature spirits, but are in fact, shape-shifting reptiles, from the Zeta Inquitus system.”

The detective nodded, taking a swig from his bottle and sadly finding it to be empty.

Spoiler: ”Translation”

A dungeon core, by the name of Cygon, impacted the Tritonic isles and was destroyed by Abhi, marking the first rebirth of Cyognax. His dungeon was subsequently torn down and the remnants buried. On the other side of the world, Yharim disappeared, with his army turning on itself in Titania and being destroyed. The hedgehog tribe has once again been reduced to a savage state on their few remaining islands. All that stuff about aliens is dubiously canon.

“First think you’ve said what makes’a grain’a sense, women’re cold-blooded… But hang on, how can someone be from’a star? Stars’re just points’n the sky.”

The cultist glared at him, as any respect she had for the detective’s conspiratorial mind faded away..

“Hmph, I would have expected one such as yourself not to degrade yourself into believing that Ocaeril is the center of the universe, when in fact our world revolves around the sun, and that every star has its own planets and gods, and from the star Zeta Inquitus, the aliens come to our world.”

The detective looked suspicious, out of all of her ravings, this made the least sense to him.

“But we got like, pictcha’s’a the spheres’n all that, even sent’up’a weatha’ balloon and”

She suddenly slapped him in the face.

“Lies! All lies! Perpetrated by the Greatest Liars and the dark god they worship! The universe is heliocentric! They perpetrate this coverup to hide from us the great alien god who brings forth the invasion! Their machinations are evident all around us! You think a cult of thousands just forgot the last ten years of their lives on their own!? Men can bend spoons with their minds and speak to the dead, see the future and see things in space that could not possibly be seen as though it were an ordinary thing! Some can even snap their fingers and appear before you or convert one thing into another! We are the guinea pigs of mass-alien-experimentation! It is obvious!”

“I mean, really, I hate to be rude but there ain’t any planets but the ones’n the sky, and the amnesia was caused by whatever spell Zyr’s priests had their men under wearin’ off on the day’a the dead this has been sorta prove-”

“The stars themselves have fallen to the world and you disbelieve in the existence of alien life! The arrival of the alien fortresses are a prelude to invasion I tell you!”

“Were that shit an invasion it wasn’t the best I’ve seen, most’a the stars fell inta’ the sea, ‘few seem to’a crawled outn’ spoiled the beaches but buryin’ em in the sand ain’t to expensive, only folk really to suffer from them things were the sods in the south and whatever monsters livin’ at the bottom’a the sea nowadays. Certainly keeping MK&D in business though, them’s exarch-artifacts were startin’ to run dry then those things pop up, drillin’ takes time ‘n burnin the things out takes money, but it be well worth it. Revelry ‘n the pirate lords took a chance to with puttin’ the things six feet under, for a fee’a course, island folk what have to sacrifice some virgin each year’ll pay a handsome sum to get those things gone. None ended’ hittin’ that lost city near exarchaea, somethin’ boutta giant I heard, but who knows, might’a, some say that city been growin, though those fanatics ain’t appreciation’ it, called up a hurricane I heard to flood the whole place, or least tried to, didn’t do much damage I heard but slowed the monsta’s down. Course back to the stars, some folk like the helsans’ gone’n teamin’ up with the damn things, an’ I can’t say what the east been up to, save for that yokai ‘parrently work great for cullin’ the damn things and that some ‘ole rebellion went belly-up, somethin’ bout the mandate’a heaven being returned. Apparently the emperor been wed to some sort’a witch what saw the whole deal comin’, made’a point to placate the dungeons. No clue why, just bulldozin’ em seems to work better, hell since those damn cats in the east started gettin’ their shit together and openin’ up to trade they been climbin’ that barrier’a their’s and grabbin shit from the dungeons, ‘parrently its easy to steal from’em if ya’ can crawl through the floor. I’d never go into one though, I ain’t some guildsman or a monster hunter or some other fool what thinks he’a hero, folks like that be the ones who get sent to the front lines.”

Spoiler: ”Translation”

A few things are mentioned here, one is the followers of Zyr losing their memories after his death, returning them to the state of normal human beings but effectively leaving the west with an epidemic of amnesiacs, who have been mostly reintegrated into society though a few were beyond help, mainly the eldest of those who lost their memories, another is the sudden rise in prevalence of psionic abilities, common ones being minor telekinesis, mind reading, clairvoyance and other things people do in real life, and rarer ones including the ability to teleport, transmute matter or major forms of telekinesis. The big thing mentioned here is the Starfall.

The starfall’s effects were pretty numerous, and it was easily the biggest non-war-related event to take place this cycle. Due to the vastness of the sea, most fell into the ocean, either forming a series of ocean monuments or painstakingly crawling to the coasts or islands. In the case of Carcosa and Nekomatus, they were deflected or destroyed, with those on the latter island attaching themselves to the barrier and effectively becoming giant flying japanese-style castles of death that the nekos will sometimes raid for magical artifacts with dubious levels of success each time. In developed areas, Dungeons are often bombed, burned out and paved over, but in rural regions, villagers are often forced to offer sacrifices to them to placate them. Pirates have taken the opportunity to offer themselves up to destroy the dungeons, for the right price of course, and organizations such as MK&D, the heroes’ guild and hunter’s guild will actively delve into the dungeons, in the case of the latter two to destroy them, but in the case of the former two to harvest magical artifacts from the inside. Some nefarious groups like Helsa cults will actively bond with the dungeons and try to help them grow. The crusaders used weather magic to summon a hurricane that would hopefully curb the expansion of carcosa as well. In the Jade Empire, due to them having advanced warning, they were less affected than other nations, having a copious amounts of sacrifices to offer the dungeons.

The detective took a big swig from his bottle, emptying it and slamming it against the table surface.

“I-I… think we have gotten quite off topic, but I-”

The detective passed out, blind drunk, and the cultist sighed, placing her hand over his crown chakra, intoning a symbolic incantation as a white mist flowed from her hand, curing his hangover as a swirled symbol appeared on his head. The detective slowly jolted up, looking around in shock.

“W-Wha, what’d you do?”

“It’s called Reiki, it’s a sort of energy manipulation, passed from master to student. I am not a master, though I would consider myself quite proficient and I suggest you seek out a practitioner if you ever get… that way again, many of my order have opened clinics around the country, lone practicioners may also sell their services at a boomtown near you..”

Spoiler: ”translation”

Reiki exists. It’s a thing people do in real life, look it up.

“Huh, I gotta try that sometime, hey what were we talking about?”

“My case, you were going to take it, yes?”

“Yeah, sorry about the rambling, guess something just came over me…”




Meanwhile...

(Think this, but with twenty thrones in the background instead of one big one, and replace the lady with Mac Tonight on a piano.)


As they had a dozen times before, the gods appeared before the deceptively great feasting table, sitting in their thrones lavishly decorated with the finest jewels and other valuable items. At the end of the hall, as always, a great holographic globe depicting Ocaeril stood, rotating on its axis between the sets of six marble pillars rising towards the glass ceiling, stars visible above it as always. One side of the hall bore paintings depicting the exploits of the deities, along with a piano from which a moon-headed man played a mirthful tune. The other side of the hall appeared more modern, with massive displays seeming to map out the planet below and depict the movements of various entities along colored lines, with a few particular glowing pinpoints seeming to identify the location of demigods on ocaeril, one of which was apparently directly above the hall. Looking up, a strange goblin-like creature could be seen zipping overhead, diving into some kind of ring-gate.

In the thrones, meanwhile, those of Zyr and Cardicarious would stand empty, while Phil seemed wrapped in a deep sleep on his own. Joe and Kura would appear in the posture of battle, their attacks held until they could leave the neutral zone. A new being sat atop the throne of the Apprentice, one familiar to all the gods, Ziji, the pigeon of technology. In one of the empty thrones, there was something a bit more strange, that being an egg, an egg Yinqui had previously deposited in the throne of heroes, now coated with cracks and dripping amniotic fluid. A few pecks would occur, and a small, white dragon would pop its head out of the egg, the shell adorning its tiny head like a hat. Oen’Abadroth, the united form of Zyr and Yimor, had been born. Aside from that fact, and the two gods in the midst of trying to kill eachother, everything was perfectly, entirely normal.

tacenda | Selee-01​

 

[Space Buddha]

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  Revan4221 | BlackCat-055 | Scrump_Diddle | Stikes | KolastoRPN | The Void Ever Watching | Selee-01 | Churl | Barbas | VomitIcicle | Celestial Speck | CutieBoop | Gravitys Momentum | Just_a_loneley_pilgrim | tacenda | RedLight
  
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  GM UPDATE
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  Dawn of the New Year: 1500
  
  Somewhere in a far away village, one surrounded with barricades and scrap to deter marauding tribes of raiders risen from the ashes of anarchy, a number of the village children had gathered around a trash fire, along with an older woman who, while appearing only around thirty or so, showed in her face the wisdom of centuries, as was common with elves, though, her face also showed strange markings and a scar where an implant had been removed, and upon her head a baseball cap emblazoned with “Alien Abduction Survivor” showed her status as a seasoned Transmundanist. The villagers were tolerant of her faith, though some found her constant blaming the state of the world on aliens, god/nation-parallelity, and holographic clouds annoying to be certain. While the children played around the fire with whatever toys could be scavenged from the nearby city, the elf’s son approached, poking his mother in the leg.
  
  “Hey mom!”
  
  The elf blinked and looked up from her book, “The Truth about Jade Imperial Holograms”, and replied to her son, “Yes?”
  
  “I’m bored, can you tell one of your cool stories?”
  
  She rolled her eyes at her half-elven son, “Shouldn’t you be helping your father pack?”
  
  Her son frowned and crossed his arms.
  
  “I don’t wanna! Why are we even moving! I don’t want to leave!”
  
  She sighed and nodded her head, “Yes, I know, this village is one of the few places in the world not tainted by the influence of the Lie-Shifting-Alien-Communist-Whispering-Society of Gangsters left in the world, but you aren’t going to get an accredited education in naturopathy here, as wrong as that is, Spartycas is, unfortunately, the only place such a thing is possible nowadays.”
  
  Andyrecas/Original:
  “But mom! Didn’t you say there was a conspiracy there!”
  
  The elf looked down to her son and patted his head, remembering the days of naivety regarding the omnipresence of dark forces.
  
  “The conspiracy is everywhere, my child, no worse there than here, as you see.”
  
  She gestures to the ramshackle dwellings built around the old military encampment and refugee tents scattered throughout the village.
  
  “And there those like us are of no concern to the elite, the preachers and elemental beasts ruling Spartycas have bigger problems with the dark cabal worming into their ranks and alien-human-hybrids walking among them.”
  
  “Woah, alien human hybrids? How does that work?”
  
  “Well, you know how it goes, your daddy is a human and I’m an elf, and we love eachother very much and you were the result, though there are times when such wonders like yourself can be born not of love, but of vicious probing in dark laboratories, of course you are too young to understand…”
  
  “So wait the alien people had bad parents?”
  
  “In a way, though they may not be alien-human hybrids at all, rather hybrids of aliens and other aliens, that seems the most logical.”
  
  The young boy nods, and his mom gives him another headpat.
  
  “But anywho, so long as you don’t become a priest you won’t get wrapped up with the elementals and their work of rooting out nigh-invincible shapeshifters.”
  
  Arceus:
  
  “What does nigh invincible mean mommy?”
  
  “Well, you know how if you hit your head, you get a bruise and I have to lay on hands and channel cosmic energy to make it better?”
  
  “Yeah!”
  
  “Well some things can hit their head and that doesn’t happen. A good example would be the spectral golems of the mountain tribes, the spartycans have thus had no luck in fighting such creatures in the mountains as their spears and bullets simple pass through, same is true with the jade spreading northward, given that the golems are just holograms. Another example, say, Rayquaza, a giant sky dragon said to have been created by Arceus to defend the world when the great storm came, beating back the dark clouds and reducing the potency of the rain. It also supposedly was the being that rose the Living Dead. Of course, I think it was just a hologram, like all dragons, and those who returned sane are just as mechanical as the Vile Dead..”
  
  “Is everything a robot or a hologram mommy?”
  
  “Of course! The entire continent of Azran is, in fact, a fabrication. The natives, novakin, cult of assassins, even psychic metal dwarfs that supposedly came up from the ground! Psychic metal dwarf people! Building pyramids!? Making fire? Waging tribal conflict with star people to avoid starvation!? Hah! They expect us to believe that! Stars and metal men don’t eat!”
  
  Baldur:
  
  “What about those clouds? Were those a hologram too? My friend’s momma got a real nasty burn! Is that a hologram?”
  
  “Indeed, as was the great undead horror born of the war brought on by the secret societies of the world, surely I’ve taught you all of this, that the state of the world brought on by such a strange ‘coincidence’, The first of the fallen stars beginning the war, all to animate the beast that ended it? While it is destroyed the fallout remains, the spartycans rule the west and the cenobites and orcs and other beasts pillage as though it were five hundred years ago. Azran, virtually a wasteland once more with all those mystical beings of the land withered away, and Camelot sacked by, well, they say it was spartycans but we all know it to have been aliens, or maybe that was in another timeline and I’m remembering wrong. Regardless, all of this, all of this was engineered by those dark forces to depopulate the world. Cities have burned, been abandoned or worse, the Biome in its entirety was dissolved by the acidic rain, thousands dying in the zonots as they fell and now they struggle to rebuild in the toxic wasteland while the spartycans conquer unabashedly. Villages that remain are at risk of being overrun by the Vile Dead, those who returned from the rain as feral mu-d-soaked beasts rather than those they once were. All of them were holographic machines, not real zombies! I’m sure of it! Why else do they hunt eachother as readily as a human, do exchange data-chips of course! And the clouds, Hah! We all saw the spacecraft depositing the rain into those faux-weather patterns! Didn’t we? And the spear-chucking robots! They piloted the ship! And then, when the deed was done, they descended to the world, blew up their vessel and returned to the real mothership, existing outside of time and space itself! I’ve seen it all!”
  
  The elf’s ten-year-old son just sat there, looking up wide-eyed at his mom and slowly nodding. He had no idea what she was saying or what any of it meant, but he knew when she got into these big rants it was best to just try and change the subject.
  
  Corven/Ziji:
  
  “Hey, mom… uh, you know those big moving boxes we’ve got? A friend and I had an idea, we’d get in them and race the boxes down the hill, can we do that?”
  
  The half-elf boy’s mother shook her head and sighed, “Oh child, there are so many better uses for a cardboard box, the people of the foglands know this. Boxes are gateways to the other worlds of the cosmos, and indeed they are the technology of the gods.”
  
  “Wow really? Can me and my friends go to another world with the box?”
  
  “A box is not something to be used without reason, son, where would you go?”
  
  “I dunno, candy world?”
  
  “A waste of your time, you should be trying to achieve enlightenment right now. Where are your crystals?”
  
  “I lost them.”
  
  Helsa:
  
  “Well of course you did, where did you last see them?”
  
  “I don’t remember, I probably lost them when me and my tulpa were fighting the shadow people in a lucid dream.”
  
  “Your tulpa? Son, you shouldn’t be making those, you know they can attract clown gliders! And what’s this about shadow people? Has someone been bringing your vibrational frequencies out of alignment?”
  
  Ickol:
  
  “Uh, the shadow government is stressing me out?”
  
  “Nice try but they’re all out in that Larion place, and unless you’re a shape-shifting super soldier or a secret illuminati of alien freaks then they wouldn’t care too much about you! Especially since you always wear your tin foil! So speak up! What is it?”
  
  Inqui:
  
  “Well, ummm…”
  
  The child tried not to speak for as long as possible, up until his resistance was broken by the piercing gaze of his mother which, apparently, had some sort of supernatural ability to extract a confession, the result of alien experimentation no doubt.
  
  “It… could be the new guy in town…”
  
  His mother Harrumphs, “What did I say about hanging around him! That young man belongs to radical splinter faction of the heroes guild and radiates so much negativity it’s like he does it on purpose! What was the word you used to describe him, edge-king?”
  
  “Edgelord. And yeah he wears a lot of black and stuff but only his parents are mercenaries, but he’s really cool once you get to know him! He gave me these, look! ”
  
  The half-elf child of admittedly only about seven years of age hands his mother what is obviously a pack of cigarettes. Had it been weed, his mother would have approved, but instead she angrily threw the packet into the campfire and likely poisoned a few birds from the fumes.
  
  “No! You’re only allowed to smoke things that can provide a spiritual awakening! No more hanging out with anti-heroes! Especially ones that hang up posters of some eastern princess-general in a bathing suit! The simple fact his guild idolizes that oriental warmongering harlot shows me they don’t know the truth! The jade empire is ruled in secret by maddened outer gods!”
  
  “But whhhyyyy?”
  
  
  Kura/Joe:
  
  “Because, your vibrational frequency must be higher than ever given all that’s going on, what with the collapse of every major power within the civilized world, save the spartycan fanatics and the countless secret castes that puppeteer them. Remember what I told you, about the hermetic principles?”
  
  “You mean that above-below thingy?”
  
  “Indeed, as above, so below. It is said the war between the empire and zhailving reflected a conflict of gods, and with both destroyed, the gods themselves died with them. Does that make sense?”
  
  “Uh, so if you worship a god and die does it die too?”
  
  “No, your thinking is too small. You’re grounded.”
  
  “Whaaa?”
  
  “For ignorance boy! This was no simple accident! This was an arranged suicide of two higher beings, and in death they took the technologies and sciences of their people with them! You’d be hard-pressed to find a running train nowadays and it’s all because of a conspiracy in the heavens themselves! Or, perhaps beyond! In some strange medium where the beings which puppet the gods grew bored of their chosen hosts, desiring that they fall and new ones take their place!”
  
  “Mom, you’re having one of your moments, uh…”
  
  The elf sighed at her son’s remark, producing a bottle and swallowing a pill of some sort. Given the state of ocaerillian medical sciences, even government approved medicine was dubiously effective and probably had some mercury in it, but elven, specifically exodite physiology had a large tolerance to such toxins given constant exposure to runoff from cenobites and tailed demons in their rivers and food. Nonetheless, she wouldn’t be caught dead near a TV tower, that is if any were still operational, as such things were capable of erasing her memory and preventing her from remembering what she has seen. Thus, she took homeopathic remedies that probably contained even more mercury than a regular antipsychotic.
  
  Ocaeril:
  
  “So, uhm, mom… I like your new hat!”
  
  The elf looked up, patting her tin-foil hat fit perfectly to her head, wrapping partially around the tips of her ears so that they won’t pick up psychotronic waves, as any transmundanist knows, an elf’s ears are especially vulnerable to electronic harassment.
  
  “Thanks, yours is probably comfier though, I’m having to wear this one over my old one since I couldn’t take it off, at least, not without them erasing my memory and making me forget what I’ve seen.”
  
  “Oh is this that story about the-”
  
  “Don’t say it out loud! Their spies are everywhere! Especially the shadows!”
  
  The elf-mom produces a flashlight and sweeps the area around the campfire, seemingly checking behind the trees for anyone preforming active surveillance.
  
  “They?”
  
  “Yes! Them! They have been around for years now, making a deal with some dungeon and colonizing hyperdimensional planes! They have an army of super-dragons with mind powers and they recruit from the shadow governments! Or, the government of shadows! I’m not sure! I'm pretty sure they and the jade empire are connected! They must be! What with that general and those super-adventurers that did all that bullshit charity work and were found out as yokai of all things! Then got an official pardon!? It had to have been them! They're plotting something! I know it!”
  
  The young boy’s mother began shaking him by the shoulders, screaming at the sky
  
  “Mom, it’s okay! Deep breathing!”
  
  She let go and did her exercises, returning to the topic.
  
  “So where was I? Yes, since the formation of this Silence Group the intuitive potential and high vibrations of the last century have plummeted, and the world returns to materialistic drab. That is why you, my indigo child, must bring forth love and light in these dark times.”
  
  “It’s not that bad mom! The secret society dragons can’t hurt you if you stand still, their vision is based on movement!”
  
  “Really? How did you know that?”
  
  “I read it on a popsicle stick!”
  
  “…How could I have missed something so obvious!”
  
  The crazy transmundanist hugs her son, and from the forest, the father approaches, briefly mistaken for a skinwalker by the mother, who threw some herbs at him as he artfully dodged.
  
  “Well that’s one way to say hello,”
  
  Oen:
  
  “Gah! Don’t startle me like that, last time I mistook you for an inner earther!”
  
  “Oh, what’s this? “Hollow Ocaeril” theory is it this time? I thought that you thought there was an ancient civilization of bat people in the inner world.”
  
  The elf grunts, “That theory was discredited when the machines began colonizing the surface! They came up through volcanoes and have been engineering superweapons on remote islands!”
  
  Rhubarion:
  
  As she finished her sentence a flower seemingly fell from the sky, landing on her head. And then another, and then another, until they practically began to fall like raindrops, the village children running out of their homes to catch as many as they could.
  
  “Poppies..?”
  
  Her husband caught one and twirled it around like a conductor’s baton, before offering it to his wife while making the cheesiest expression a human could muster.
  
  Tiamat:
  
  “Ah of course how quickly the truth can shift my dear! I remember when you were still talking about how the epidemic of ghosts and spectres was solved by a ghostly nekomatus and her demonic lesbian lover ‘for great justice’, as I believe you put it.”
  
  The elf girl grunts again as her husband throws flower petals in her face. He then turned to his son.
  
  “Son, would you like some ice cream?”
  
  “No, they put soy in that, to make us infertile.”
  
  “Atta boy! Let’s go cook some opium!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Meanwhile…
  
  
  
  
  (This but with twenty thrones and mac tonight instead of elf lady)
  
  The pantheon awoke to the glorious hall as they had seen it many times before, with a new face present among their number, Polemisepana, The Warrior, ( RedLight ) Diddly, an unfamiliar outsider, ( Gravitys Momentum ) and Xorju, the Beast. ( Stikes ) Upon their thrones (Or portal in the case of Xorju) they would behold the hall for the first time in fifteen hundred years, noting how it had changed. One side of the hall seemed to have been completely modernized with screens and holograms and flashing buttons, while the other retained its towering golden pillars inscribed with ancient runes and massive paintings. The ceiling was made entirely of glass panels, allowing one to see the stars above, and at one side of the room a moon-faced creature Polemisepana would remember as an omnicidal devil played the piano. Another unwelcome face was present. It appeared to be a black-feathered owl that towered over the rest of the gods, its eyes glazed over and unseeing. It would address the gods as they awoke,
  
  “You know me as Zemrasil, I have come to this world seeking my lost daughter, former lich-queen of a land now in ruins. Ocaeril and Inqui know her by name but any of you would find her terribly difficult to miss. I come here to say that I have reached the end of my patience, and if she is not presented to me within fifty years from now I will bathe your world in fire and brimstone until only ash remains, as I have done before to another world as two among you likely remember.”
  
  It gestured to Inqui, and Baldur to a lesser extent.
  
  “That is all. Farewell”
  
  The creature vanished, leaving its words to hang. To Polemisepana and Xorju, the creature was unfamiliar, though its intent could easily be determined as an enemy of the divine, and everything else, for that matter. Regardless, someone better fetch that daughter of his, whoever or wherever she may be, or beat his ass. One of the two. Regardless of the current threat of doomsday, those who beheld the great globe of ocaeril, rotating at the far end of the hall, would see it engulfed in clouds once more, though these clouds were not the black storm that had swept the land years prior, rather a light grey overcast bathing the world below in flowers. With all that has happened, what do you do?
  
  
• 
  
  Andy/Original:
  
  Spartycas basically rules the west since every other major power collapsed or was destroyed by war and natural disasters. Resistance in Larion is making the place very inconvenient to hold on to and rebels from the area are regularly conducting assassinations via The Faceless. Which are mutant dopplegangers that are way harder to kill.
  
  Arceus:
  
  Rayquaza is out there, and is pretty well known, and the creation of golurks and (whatever the other one was called) gave the Arcean states the military muscle they needed to maintain their independence from the spartycans in the west and solidified their independence from the jade empire in the east. Beeheyems and Elgyems are becoming an established species in Azran, competing with the novakin and living at a relatively stone age level of technology. Further developments have been difficult since they have not invented writing of any kind, and have likewise not discovered metallurgy. Those who arceus resurrected and were able to return from the rain were referred to as "The sane dead" by those who had seen them die and come back. In contrast to the zombies, who are called the Vile Dead.
  
  Baldur:
  
  Hole's awakening happened, obviously. Major effects include essentially liquifying most of the Biome's infrastructure, reducing the former academic and magical center of the world to an impoverished shithole. The rain likely was the killing blow to the empire and zhailving, in part due to both countries being totally unprepared for a natural disaster of that scale and casualties were definitely high in both areas. Large numbers of magical creatures such as pokemon-based species have been rendered endangered, especially in the oceans, and large areas are still flooded with the magic-eating ooze. The zombies likely didn't help either. All in all, baldur's plan to screw the world has succeeded. As a result of this, technology has regressed worldwide to a roughly pre-industrial level. A lack of arable land due to accumulations of the goo will also curb population growth for some time. Since the rain was pretty short however, effects probably won't be that severe. We're still gonna be back at normal fantasy tech for a while, with occasional trains.
  
  Corven/Ziji:
  
  The cardboard box has been successfully reverse-engineered, corven now has access to transdimensional travel and some of Ziji's worshippers might as well.
  
  Helsa:
  
  Personae exist, though there are likely very few users at this point. The kid in this post was hinted to be one but he might not be if you don't want.
  
  Ickol:
  
  Ickol has most likely learn that Larion, that insignificant kingdom in the middle of nowhere, is run by a cabal of shape-shifting beings who have mastered illusion. She likely knows as well that underground worship of Original persists under the guise of misinterpreted andreyan doctrine and has probably learned of the resistance being mounted against occupation by the Faceless and remaining dopplegangers. She has also probably learned that these guys are everything she could want the vril to be, but better.
  
  Inqui:
  
  Igna's will has been made manifest in the form of anti-hero sects being founded, similar in structure to the hero's guild but likely willing to accept shadier business, and brooding, lots and lots of brooding. They can be worldbuilded more as the player sees fit. Inqui's incarnated form as a general in the Jade empire has become a renowned military leader, and has had success in campaigns in battles with centaur tribes. Due to a relative lack of conflict in the area however (Aside from occaionally raiding dungeons), she and her companions have seen disappointingly little action.
  
  Kura/Joe: You both died, and the outcome of the war mirrored this, with both sides effectively destroying eachother. This may hold implications that gods and their nations have parallels in what they do, but that's just a theory, a conspiracy theory!
  
  Ocaeril:
  
  The nine whispers exist and are probably the biggest conspiracy theory on ocaeril right now, topping the Still Liars as the big secret society. The imagine breakers exist but almost no one knows about them and saying they exist is like suggesting that every copy of mario 64 is secretly customized. Indra and Ashura did their thing, but were at one point their disguises were found out by one of likely thousands of magical detection systems that the jade empire employs. They received an official pardon from Inqui's general, but no one particularly cares for them anymore, and their pardon was a very controversial decision among the populace.
  
  Oen:
  
  The divine forge and servitors exist, though almost no one knows about them and they haven't really had much attention.
  
  Rhubarion:
  
  It's legit just raining flowers.
  
  Tiamat:
  
  Fuma and her neko ghost gf (they don't have to be dating that is just what conspiracy elf thinks) have been cleaning up the remaining ghosts infesting parts of the world that weren't eaten by dungeons or sent to arceus's waiting room. Cygon has likely returned again in the triton lands and been defeated once more, possibly manifesting as a leader of one of the zombie hordes brought on by Hole.
  
  Writhing Cosmos:
  
  You didn't do anything this time but it is very likely that the huskarr have nuclear weapons by now and the oceans have been massively polluted, so there is some things you could do with that.
  
  Other stuff: Polemisepana, Diddly, and Xorju have awakened from a fifteen hundred year slumber to find some batshit crazy bird threatening to blow up the world in fifty years if their daughter isn't found. They should probably discuss this with the other gods in the hall to figure out WTF is going on. In fact, that goes for anyone who hasn't interacted with this villain yet. Nyar and Jade emp are likely very old by now, and their children are adults.
  
  

​

 

[Space Buddha]

Ickol spun her hammer and drove it into Original, not as an attack, but to launch him like a projectile back into his hole, where she assumed the real Original remained.

The duplicate explodes into black pixellation as the hammer connects, and with that same kefka laugh noise effect, Ickol can determine that Original has teleported behind her. Again.

Ickol:
========================

Original The Character:
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

(1d6 dice rolls will be used for all attacks and defense moving forward) ​

 

[Space Buddha]

• ”Main”
• ”TLDR”

• 
  
  @Revan4221 | @BlackCat-055 | @Scrump_Diddle | @Stikes | @KolastoRPN | @The Void Ever Watching | @Selee-01 | @Churl | @Barbas | @Lolface390 | @Celestial Speck | @CutieBoop | @Gravitys Momentum | @Just_a_loneley_pilgrim | Puppernickel
  _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  GM UPDATE
  _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  Dawn of the New Year: 1550
  
  
  Somewhere, deep in the forests of the Spartycan coast, an old dilapidated cabin stood atop a small hill, covered by tree canopy. The song of birds masked the activities within, as any from the nearby village might tell you, this cabin housed an elven lad about sixty years of age. Young for his species, but regardless he bore a scraggly grey beard and gave off the energy of a hermit. Within the cabin, the man furiously banged on a typewriter, stacking pages he deemed appropriate and discarding those with any clear errors. It had to be perfect, as, after all, this would be the manifesto of the unknown criminal who had mailed cursed packages with the intent of causing grievous bodily harm to several people he suspected of being ickolic-doppleganger-alien-whispering hybrids. In the following he details his elaborate ideology. As of yet though, he hadn’t actually gotten down any of his important points.
  
  “Hmmm, how should I start this? Ah!”
  
  
  
  Andyrecas:
  
  
  Democratic Mago-Technological Society, and its Future.
  
  
  1: The advent of democratic government in the west and its consequences have been a disaster for the human races. It has certainly granted us a say in politics for those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized a once harmonious society, given way to mob rule, and offer even more power to shadowy groups of elites who control the media organizations throughout the western world, and uncontrolled immigration now threatens our once sacred way of life so that our leaders can continue to damage the natural world through expansion.
  
  2: In its current state, democratic society may survive, or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY be capable of fending off an invasion by the alien sirens that the government denies the existence of, and our culture MAY in time reassert itself over the inane multicultural gibberish being pushed by the shapeshifting elite, but only after passing through a long and painful process of internal strife and turmoil sure to reduce much of the population to a subhuman cattle-race in the care of the shapeshifters.
  
  3: The more of our world is brought into the fold of this false-notion of “enlightenment” that is being pushed, the more painful it will be on the whole when this system inevitably fails, or worse, should it not fail at all, it may give way to the annexation of our world by alien forces.
  
  
  Arceus:
  
  4: Evidence of the fact that this system is corrupt will be presented throughout this essay, where we will point out its societal issues such as historical revisionism, an example of which being an unwillingness to account for the spearian temples built across the world, indicating that advanced, global civilization is nothing new, and that it has risen and fallen before, along with tampering in traditional faiths such as the continued addition of new demigods to the arcean and tiamatic faiths. Accompanying this will be descriptions of physical threats created by this system, such as those that magical advancement, democracy, the alien forces that influence our minds and our dreams, and technology pose to the natural world and its people. At no point do we offer commentary on reform of this system, as we believe doing so to be impossible.
  
  5: Therefore, we advocate revolution against the first democratic nation before these ideas can spread across the world, rendering us all vulnerable to alien brainwashing. This does not necessitate violence, but something must be done to ensure that this so-called enlightenment is contained.
  
  Baldur:
  
  The Dangers of Modern Complacency
  
  6: In its current state, our democratic society is incapable of standing against growing threats outside of its borders that are becoming increasingly dynamic, the greatest example of which being the oft-ignored Underdark. Following the somewhat obscure event during the mid-1520s in which a comet-like object streaked across the sky, inducing strange variations in wildlife such as the emergence of the ‘pokerus’ virus and bizarre fused creatures aptly-called ‘fusion-beasts’ by the establishment before their extermination, it is believed that in some remote part of the east, by myself as well as many other concerned activists, that rodents have evolved into humanoid shape, developed sentience and migrated underground, where they have formed connections with the deep-dwelling vril empire, the catfolk, and possibly even the daemon-worshipping Aboleths. This newfound unity of the depths brings untold dangers to the decadent western cultures, as these uncucked societies will surely seek to expand.
  
  7: This may not necessarily be a military threat. The ratfolk are said to spread their culture into those nations they ally with, eroding their traditions with ‘exotic cuisine’ and other multicultural nonsense, and so it is entirely within the realm of possibility that our ‘democracy’ may willingly allow these aliens within our borders, wherein they will surely interbreed and violate the purity of culture and species, further weakening our collective strength for much greater threats to take hold, internal or external.
  
  8: Inseparable from this is the modern phenomena of UFOs. One might scoff at such an assertion but no sane professor, even in the corrupt democratic hellholes that are modern universities can deny the existence of such with a straight face, though they may be told to. Within the last thirty years, since the fall of the aforementioned comet, sightings of beings thusfar to be referred to as “Sirens”, alongside their sky-navigating vessels, have increased tenfold, along with allegations of an aggressive and radioactive ‘bigfoot’ stalking the western landmass. These beings are known to hold nothing but hostile intent as the research of profound UFOlogist Sir Doulton of Exodia has proven, and with all this in mind I am certain that, short of a total collapse of our complacent, elemental-dependent and possibly even collaborationalist society, we will not be able to build up a defense against these outsiders to our world.
  
  Diddly:
  
  The Psychology of Republicanism
  
  9: It is no secrets that our governments have, for centuries, been a disorganized, chaotic mess, yet today this is far more noticeable than any time before in history, and one symptom of this is the international movement we refer to as republicanism. Adherents to this ideology hope to quash remaining monarchies and emulate the first example of republicanism in practice, and what they see as a ‘model state’, the so-called united states of the eastern plains, an ineffectual remnant that founded the initial practice of “constitutional government”, supposedly serving as an inspiration for nations all across the western world to abandon authoritarianism and seek a fair and just system. Preposterous.
  
  10: Worse yet, such ideologies are actively endorsed by extra-ocaerillian forces, as can be easily surmised by the stone monoliths present throughout the eastern plains, clearly of sirenic design. Their appearance coincided with the mist-storm that neutralized most remaining acid pools and their presence has drawn otherwise enlightened primitivists to found villages in worship of these outside abominations, and as is widely known the diabolical blood-rituals of this cult will spread west, as their so-called ‘Aetherium’ stones that, contrary to their narrative of mining this miracle mineral is known to originate from mass-bloodletting ceremonies, the anemia of the populace is a clear indicator of this. Infant sacrifice is also widely suspected, but unproven.
  
  Helsa:
  
  Infiltration of the Mind
  
  11: Worse yet, even our inner thoughts are not safe from the constant barrage of propoganda our dreams in particular, countless of those of the psionic persuasion, which thanks to the filth they pour into our water and air now constitutes a fifth of greater humanity (The totality of demihuman races including their common ancestor), report visitation by heroes of the past, idealized and warped beyond their known history, and many of whom are of the opposite sex than historically known. This psychic interference is likely generated through top secret psychotronic weapons produced by the M&D cartel and being used to promote further “Progressive” revisionism, such as the dubious transvestitism of Silva of Titania and portrayal of the jade imperial line as one of disguised queens. Some wizards in institutions claimed to have summoned and bound the spirits of these figures to their service via the dreamlands! Preposterous, not so preposterous as the depressed dregs of society whose medications have not stopped them from reaching out and reporting psychic experiences in the throne of heroes itself, but preposterous nonetheless.
  
  Ickol:
  
  Additional Dangers of Historical Revisionism and False Flag Operations
  
  12: The defilement of history is evident all around us, case and point, our great nation of Spartycus, a state that, contrary to what we are told, did not wage a glorious conquest across the west in the name of god and with the aid of his anointed. In fact, short of a few decades ago, Spartycas did not even exist. Our nation, for all its patriotism, as proven by the testimony of the Court Mages cited in the bibliography, was only founded after a secretive unification agreement signed by remaining western powers after the war. Spartycas was the end result, and an elaborate false history was crafted, with the aid of alien technology used to fashion the so-called ‘demigods’ amidst its ranks..
  
  13: “War veterans” are paid actors, battles were reeinacted in the midst of cities, condemned criminals were covertly moved into cities before the ‘conquest’ to be executed as ‘casualties of war’. This is indisputable fact, unless one believes that every court mage in the west is owned, which I personally suspect is a false-flag assertion.
  
  Inqui:
  
  14: On the topic of false flag operations, the most significant of such has been not in the west, but in the eastern hemisphere of our world, as one will remember the meticulously staged assassination of General Chiyo by an international vigilante movement known in their own circles as the Anti Heroes, having close ties with other remaining anti-establishment communities. Having been framed for this act the total eradication of their movement was thereby justified.
  
  Modern Technology, Magic, and the Destruction of the Natural World:
  
  15: The continental fervor for rebuilding the corrupt infrastructure of the previous systems has been a tragic mistake of western man, specifically in the field of Magic, but technology as well. In the case of the former, the construction of international educational institutes in the west in the blind pursuit of magical power has led to the maddening and death of countless students whose gullible parents sent them off without thought after they demonstrate even the slightest talent in manipulating the winds.
  
  16: Of course, driven by pure secularism, they don’t particularly care. A few rural communities devoured by Daemons is of no consequence in the face of ‘Progress’. Even in fields of less destructive magic, such as biomancy and Chakral manipulation, they develop increasingly suspect methods that no nation which honored the harmony of magic, such as the Biome, would ever tolerate in ages past.
  
  17: With the central institutionalization of magic in place in the west, we now fear our future may resemble the current state of the defiled ancestors of the elves. Cenobites, a docile populace enslaved by their own vices and ruled by an addiction to physical pleasure at the expense of morality, ruled by an even more immoral elite, gratifying themselves through truly despicable means, and worshipping the eldritch gods of the cosmos while their citizens worship their own loins.
  
  Ocaeril:
  
  18: Technology is not as guilty as magic, as evident by the fact that magic has allowed for senseless destruction on a much larger scale, such as the awakening which blew several fresh holes in the firmament, but regardless it remains a portion of our society’s death knell, each advancement serving to restrict our innate nature. For example, rebuilt cities now revolve around the system of roads, the car now a mandatory possession for any living in what were once a pedestrian utopia.
  
  19: Power grids are being built once more, their reach expanded by imported kohonan technology and even the once anti-technology druids of the jungle call for further industrialization of our land! The development of modern irrigation has led to the destruction of countless acres of the rainforest to accommodate more farmland, which produces a surplus of food. Who doesn’t love more food? Ask the people of the Spartycan capital! The most densely populated city in the west now having a mass-exodus of its condensed population out of the cities and to the country.
  
  20: Why? An explosion in the world’s population caused by such a surplus of food, urge to replace the male population lost in wars, and modern medicine ensuring most children survive into adulthood. This increasing population has led to the exodus from cities into the country, which will in turn lead to more cities being built, which will lead to more people being born, which will lead us to create more farmland by cutting down more of the rainforest, which will in turn lead to even more people being born due to another surplus!
  
  21: Some erroneously call this an age of prosperity, and while quality of life may have objectively improved for some (Much as it did for the Cenobites at their dawn), the failure of most states to heed the ideals of those who first provided these technologies, that of the preservation of nature, as corrupted as it may have become in kohonan, Biomic and druidic cultures will inevitably lead to mass extinction of wildlife, the loss of our humanity, and the death of our natural world.
  
  Oen:
  
  The Siren Strategem
  
  22: This is, of course, all part of a greater plot by aliens. Note, when we refer to aliens, we are not referring to beings from other worlds. Any looking to the sky may note the writhing, betentacled abomination with a billion eyes that looms above the spheres and drives any whom’st beholds it to madness, save for myself, the author, of course. When referring to aliens, we refer to the popular conception of beings from other worlds, the tall, feminine creatures described as being like tattoo’d elves with inhuman eyes and who on average demonstrate capabilities outside the realm of possibility for a psyker of greater humanity. These beings, known popularly as Sirens, (not to be confused with the savage, all-female merfolk tribe known to attack members of other races for the purpose of mating and consumption in any given order, despite physical and biological similarities between the two) are believed by the writers of this work not to originate from outer space, which despite the beliefs of popular transmundanism, does not exist.
  
  23: Some might additionally assert that Sirens originate from another plane, however to refute this we refer to the Order of the Watch, a group of void-desert dwellers and rural folk made up in large part by the Scorpi Tribe, whose monoliths that they fervently protect will, should one without ill intent purchase themselves an audience, quite forcibly inform the viewer of the impenetrable nature of our plane by others. To substantiate this one need only look in the total disappearance of Fae from our world, and the long-term fluctuation of the magical realm effected by the rise of those monoliths, consistent failure of modern mediums and necromancers despite centuries of no trouble to contact the dead, and other such interference in planar maneuverings.
  
  24: More evidence can be found in dreams. Past generations bore no hardship recalling their experiences in the land of nod, yet today lest one right down their activities they will struggle to remember by noon. Certainly the barriers between our world and that of dreams, and indeed all other worlds, have hardened in the past century, and based on the monolith, by an act of the gods, who most certainly exist, mind you, but note that Sirens are more common on our world than ever before, and so I point to the Islands of Mundia and Acore, two small islands in the south central sea known for their bizarre natives and rock formations. The demihumans native to the island of acore were researched extensively by kohonan specialists, noting their custom of tatooing themselves from head-to-toe, pointing of their own teeth via stones, outright hostility toward male offspring and using biomancy to induce hermaphroditism in their population. The art of this culture depicts flying saucers and bizarre, furry humanoids, making influence by a more advanced culture clear.
  
  25: More pressing is the whirlpool on Mundia, into which the alcorians present sacrifices in the form of jewels and fruit. This whirlpool has never been explored due to the hazardous terrain of mundia requiring an expensive mountain climbing expedition, however we suspect it to be not a whirlpool at all, but a gateway into the inner world of Ocaeril, an “Under-Underdark”, if you will, wherein the Sirens reside, and possibly other beings, such as the furred humanoids, and the insectoids sighted after the incident in Camelot, wherein six abductees were burned to death in alleyways by unknown assailants.
  
  Original:
  
  26: Regarding Camelot, further evidence of their involvement in this conspiracy can be ascertained by looking at its supposedly immortal leader, but while the public may know this being as a demilich of some sort, we have become aware, through our sources (cited below) in the Biome we came to be aware of a synthetic duplicate of the aforementioned dictator, and although the existence of this clone is only suspected evidence would suggest that the “Immortal Queen of Camelot” is simply a dynasty of identical beings, possibly siren duplicates. Indeed, they have been here for a long time.
  
  Shapeshifting and Genetic Alteration
  
  27: Regarding identical beings, the possibility is in no way remote. In the now-liberated state of Larion, Changelings, albeit few in number since a number of carefully covered-up purges, walk openly on the streets, each capable of shifting form at will. Evidence of these beings having been artificially engineered in the past is plentiful, as is that in leaked spartycan documents that suggest above them exists a class of true shapeshifters, varying in description from faceless men to skeletal grey-skinned amphibians of a sort, who created and rule over changelings. ‘Dopplegangers’, as they are known in folklore, have never been proven to exist empirically, however anecdotal evidence is rampant, and the Biome’s acquisition of cytoplasts offering minor shapeshifting abilities following the annexation of larion. Not a mere coincidence, we believe.
  
  28: The previous paragraph served to illustrate that with modern magic and technology, the total alteration of one’s appearance or the fashioning of one person to resemble another is in no way beyond possibility, and we suspect it to be being conducted routinely by the elites. Imagine, any world leader acting against the goals of some shadowy organization might be abducted and covertly replaced, and the public would never be the wiser. Regardless of whether or not this is true, it is an undeniable fact that it is at least possible, and why would that be? The answer is simple. Western Modernity. Thus, to ensure such an elite cabal cannot exist, whether or not this Syndicate of shapeshifters already does (which we do not doubt in the slightest) our technology and magical knowledge must be forsaken for the benefit and continued survival of greater humanity.
  
  Tiamat:
  
  The Corruption of Traditional Faith
  
  29: With modern society defiling so many aspects of mankind’s nature (And that of its evolutionary cousins), it stands to reason that our traditional religions would be bent over and violated in the name of ‘progress’ as well. Religions that venerate nature especially seem to be a target of this, fertility cults and the children of the sea being an obvious case, with historical revisionism coming into play once more as church leaders worldwide alter their ancient lore to account for the addition of several new gods to their pantheon in contradiction of the origin story of their goddess, while simultaneously partaking in the corrupt “Progress” of westernism by transforming something as innocent as music (albeit with subliminal messaging technology it is far from innocent today) into yet another system of magic which draws upon deadly forces.
  
  30: With control of the weather in the hands of once-naturalistic peoples the rape of nature may continue unabated. With any farmer now able to call down rain at will with aid of a few folk priests a few scholars, even those of the modern society fear a possible runaway greenhouse effect due to excess moisture! But the cattle-populace doesn’t heed their words, ‘pretty music go brrrr’ they say. Leading the charge of these new developments are the Triton of all peoples, again a once noble race now enraptured in western progression following the apparent permanent destruction of the demon “Cygon” whose continued attacks on their society kept it stagnant for the last centuries, though according to transmundanist schools of thought they have not truly killed it, simply sealed it away under some large structure to bury their problem for a century or two. We will all see.
  
  The Writhing Cosmos Master:
  
  Possible Consequences of the Abuse of Magical Forces:
  
  31: The aftermath of the second Awakening was a lesson to all inhabitants of the world, one that, for whatever reason, they have been almost totally unwilling to learn from. Knowledge of its causes are dubious, however we believe it to be uncontrolled magical experimentation and widespread abuse of warp energies that led to the almost total collapse of the barriers between our world and the other side, and subsequent awakening of much of the world’s population, who at that time around forty percent of which possessed some form of extrasensory ability, to the ability to reach into the warp and directly extract power, many of such individuals died out relatively quickly during a brief epidemic of daemonic possession, circa 1518.
  
  32: Not to say all psychic members of the population were granted this ability, it is by the grace of the gods that only a small number were, but those that remain today with these abilities, and those born with them, now exist purely as tools of the system, taken at birth to serve in the respective magical and military institutions of their nation, or as glorified radios allowing instant communication. It is only in the Eastern Plains and the Biome are they granted a measure of freedom, in the former case largely due to legal maneuverings and only granted nominal freedom, being monitored heavily. And in the biome, they are simply altered to suppress these abilities.
  
  33: The status of people with these powers in the East is lesser known, though presumably they are subject to equally rigorous regulation or simply killed out of hand, but what is known is even in the remotest regions of nekomatus, more and more have been born with command over magic than in any other period in history within the last decades, a symptom of the awakening no doubt.
  
  34: Other results of this awakening can be observed by anyone with eyes, the arrival of the monoliths mentioned in paragraph 20, possibly an act of the gods to curb the awakening, and rampaging daemons who, for a brief time between the two events, were no longer impeded by their propensity to fade into nothingness within minutes of arrival into our plane. Anyone unfortunate enough to be near a dungeon from which rampaging monsters emerged can attest to the awakening’s fallout as well, although so few survived such encounters.
  
  Xorju:
  
  Conclusion
  
  35: The total destruction of our society and our humanity (or an equivalent concept for your species) is, as stated throughout this essay, inevitable until we abandon magic, technology and democratic institutions determined to model our world after the governmental structure of New Sodom, the last cenobite city not yet to have been burned out of the jungles. Evidence of this abounds and we are clearly in the latter days of this process, as shown by the literal disappearance of rural villages and their people across the west and east, likely by a process of siren technology, but clearly for the end of suppressing voices of resistance, and simultaneously acquiring test-subjects to transfigure into what many believe to be human-alien hybrids, the so-called ‘endermen’. Certainly possible, although these beings lack any resemblance to sirens, but regardless of that fact it was the sudden depopulation of one such town that led the auther of this essay to mail a series of improvised explosive devices and cursed artifacts to high-ranking politiciansm and it will be the publication of this manifesto upon the front page of the Spartycan Tribune that will compel these bombings to cease.
  
  Epilogue:
  
  The half-elf activist placed the final page of his work upon a stack of papers beside him, satisfied with his work. He took out an alligator clip and bound the manifesto, before setting out to the post office in a nearby village. He deposited the manifesto, addressed to the Spartycan tribune, and some weeks later his demands would be met, with this mother’s testimony upon reading the manifesto having led to his arrest. Alas, his mother’s loyalty to her son was outweighed by the disgust that accompanied the realization that he was a Geocentrist. Regardless, the manifesto was widely read, and soon came into the hands of a boy living halfway across the world, in Titania, the so-called “Western Kingdom of the East” for its out-of-place cultural influences and architecture, but regardless, it had come to him years after its authorship via a trading vessel among a stack of unrelated newspapers, and in reading it, he found some bizarre correlations.
  
  “Hey mom?”
  
  His mother, looked up from her book, “Yes?”
  
  “Could we be part-alien?”
  
  “Are you reading that incoherent nonsense the westerners put out?”
  
  “Well, yes, but I’m serious.”
  
  “No child, it’s bad enough all the attention you get for being the descendent of Braelor himself, and the long line of heroic deeds our family has, and the fact that not one of our name has been unable to operate a vertical maneuvering rig without crashing into a wall-
  
  “It was one time!”
  
  “Was certainly embarrassing to our lineage, But aliens? Come on.”
  
  “I’m serious mom, how else do you explain this?”
  
  He raised his finger, from which green blood dripped due to a papercut he sustained while reading the manifesto, and burned a hole in the carpet.
  
  “Well now look what you’ve done. Do you have any idea how much that is going to cost to replace the carpet?”
  
  “Are you kidding me!?”
  
  
  
  
  Meanwhile
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (This but with twenty thrones and mac tonight instead of elf lady)
  
  
  Meanwhile, the gods were once again returned to their thrones, albeit with the notable absence of Ickol and Original, and the presence of a new god atop the throne of the Abomination. The others would recognize this as Dementia, the ancient god of Chaos, and he would find himself in a greatly changed hall, with digital displays on one side and a man with a moon for a head providing ambient music. That moon man read from the above manifesto, and had provided a copy for each of the gods on their thrones. Why? well none could be sure, that creature was always a strange one, but regardless, a feast of bland substances of dubious composition awaited them once more, as did the globe depicting a simultaneously chaotic and prospering world below. Dementia recalled this place, having seen it thousands of years in the past, and he recognized the other gods, who would in turn recognize him. What he would do next, however? Well, he was never the most predictable.
  
  Puppernickel
  
  
• 
  
  Andy:
  
  Spartycas’s democratization proceeded without issue, and the west has effectively been at peace sense, with the only outlier in the international community being the Eastern Plains. Rebellion in larion stopped following this, and following the advent of democratic government in spartycas, many other countries have developed internal movements for the abolition of the monarchy in favor of representative government, much like what happened on earth following the american revolution in europe.
  
  Arceus:
  
  Regigigas, Cresallia and Darkrai exist now, with the only major effect being that they occasionally mess with people's dreams, and that the ancient temples appearing in remote areas has kicked off conspiracy theories regarding the origins of man and the spearian peoples once having a pan-global civilization, leading to increased nationalism in Arcean kingdoms.
  
  Baldur:
  
  The comet carrying nergal induced numerous mutations in wildlife, creating a few bizarre hybrid animals and introducing various mutated viruses into the animal population. The most notable effects were of course the creation of rat-boys, who now live in the underdark on the opposite side of an underwater ocean from the Vril Empire. They now serve as a diplomatic bridge between nekos and bat-people, allowing for cultural exchange and of course the introduction of food other than flavorless mushrooms to the underdark. Alien sightings have also increased dramatically since nergal helped contact them.
  
  Diddly:
  
  The U.S.E.P are prospering, but have drawn suspicion for the alleged blood sacrifices they perform to generate power, and although they likely don’t actually sacrifice people to extract their blood, that hasn’t stopped the conspiracy theorists.
  
  Helsa:
  
  The Throne of Heroes has become accessible through the land of dreams, and many have encountered a servant or two in the dreamlands, which heroic spirits now can explore at will, although they can still be summoned regardless of location. These two places have not yet completely merged into one plane, but it has enabled people to summon servants from the dreamlands, rather than the throne, circumventing Inqui’s protections.
  
  Ickol:
  
  Ickol was in large part successful in convincing a number of royals that Spartycas didn’t exist at the time of their annexation, and this conspiracy persisted so that the lunatic who wrote this manifesto became convinced that the entire war was faked and that spartycas has only existed for a very brief period of time.
  
  Inqui:
  
  The Anti-hero’s guild/vigilante cults were destroyed following their assassination of general Chiyo, and the founding of the magical academy in the west was a resounding success, although it had some unfortunate consequences due to the sheer amount of magical practitioners there ending up summoning daemons by accident and attracting other ‘perils of the warp’. Outside of magical circles they are not popular for this reason, as many believe their pursuit of knowledge puts people in unnecessary danger, and many parents who’s children have become daemonhosts due to attending the school can vouch for this. They are not, however, planning to turn the world into a cenobite-based hellhole as the bomber claims, although a lack of serious ethical constraints on biomancy does lead to some dubiously moral experimentation with the art. All of this will likely improve over time and with regulation.
  
  Ocaeril:
  
  Technology has progressed to a modern level in much of the west, but unlike what the bomber says it likely won’t lead to a total malthusian breakdown of society. The environment will suffer for it, however. The birth of a new constellation was correlated by the awakening, an event coinciding with Azathoth’s… awakening.
  
  Oen:
  
  The creation of the tower has hardened the barriers of reality. The Fae realm is completely shut off from our own, and the dreamlands are vague and journeys to them are now harder to remember. This has its ups and downs, as it simultaneously makes it infinitely more difficult for people with dubious motivations, such as Tanya or any other crazed wizard, to summon forth things like Servants and perils of the Warp, but these things are not impossible as shown by the activities in the magical academy. People still travel to the dreamlands when they sleep, but they have a harder time remembering and need to write things down to perfectly recall their dreams (like in real life), and contacting the dead, formerly a trivial matter, is now much more difficult. The creation of the towers and order of the watch, largely made up of void-desert dwellers and other rural peoples, followed soon after the awakening, and served to temper its effects slightly. Strangely though, the number of alien sightings has not decreased at all, suggesting they may have some other way into ocaeril, rather than simply breaching through the walls of reality.
  
  Tiamat:
  
  The theology of Tiamat’s fertility cults and children of the sea has changed slightly to account for the semi-resurrection of her family, and with the advent of the Master Sword, Cygon was defeated once and for all, impaled deep in an undersea cave, trapped in stasis and unable to reincarnate. His malice may, someday, find a way to strike at the triton in another way, but for now he is out of the picture.
  
  Writhing Cosmos:
  
  The “Awakening” of the warp shook the world, with the already incredibly psychic population suddenly gaining direct access to the warp, leading thousands to become daemonhosts or portals that rampaged across the world. With modern magic and technology, they were mostly eliminated, but many lost relatives and friends in this time. The arrival of the tower only served to slightly temper the awakening’s effects, and the barriers between reality and the warp remain incredibly thin to this day. It is not uncommon to find rampaging shantak birds in otherwise peaceful fields, the result of a psyker being overtaken. Nowadays, all psykers are either conscripted or sent to learn mastery of their powers, save for in the biome, where their abilities are simply removed. It is worth noting that not all psychics are psykers. Roughly forty percent of the world’s population has some level of psychic abilities, not even counting underdark-dwellers, who are almost all psychic. Only a few have the ability to directly reach into the warp. Regardless, everyone was effected by the daemonic incursions, and while the world may be prospering today in the sciences, it is no less dangerous than it ever has been.
  
  Xorju:
  
  The randomly disappearing villages did not go unnoticed, but most people suspect either natural reasons or the Sirens for your actions. Regardless, rural life is scarier than it has ever been, as evident by the deranged scrawl of this mad bomber.
  
  

 

[Space Buddha]

• ”Main”
• ”TLDR”
• Gaullic Fleet
• Titanian Fleet

• 
  
  @Revan4221 | @BlackCat-055 | @Scrump_Diddle | @Stikes | @KolastoRPN | @The Void Ever Watching | @Selee-01 | @Churl | @Barbas | @Lolface390 | @Celestial Speck | @CutieBoop | @Gravitys Momentum | @Just_a_loneley_pilgrim | Puppernickel | Kingly K Duel
  
  
  GM UPDATE
  
  
  
  
  Meanwhile, somewhere in Titania, a man sat down among a panel of speakers, sat at a desk before a sizeable crowd. Despite his advanced age, the sixty-something year old looked as if he was only a little over thirty. Good skin, his mother always said, but he was never believe this lie, for today he had come to speak at the first annual Alien Abductee and Transmundanist Convention. Needless to say, he was anxious, acidic blood was pumping through his veins as he scanned the crowd. There were a lot more people here than he expected, largely due to the fact that the subject of aliens is a rather touchy one in Titania, not many were willing to discuss them, even with ones such as Silva playing such a role in titania's history. This was for a number of reasons, namely, saying that you have been abducted by attractive women and probed, in the face of Titania's monolithic culture of overall macho-ness, generally hurts credibility. But not any more, with the unveiling of the fleet and declassification of the now-neutralized Siren threat, many could now open up about their experiences.
  
  "Greetings, my fellow Titanians. Today we come together not to have our claims debunked or be ridiculed by skeptics, but to share our experiences, and help us remember, for as we all know, we didn't choose this! We were chosen!"
  
  The crowd applauded, it seemed everyone was taking this seriously.
  
  "And so, on the first day, of the first annual Convention, we have brought in a series of authors from across the world, to share a brief account of their experiences, and offer signed copies of their newest books that will be available at the desk shortly. So, without further ado, bring in our first guest speaker, Lt. Commander Hastings of the Spartycan Armada, give him a hand will you?"
  
  Andyrecas:
  
  An an elderly man in a military uniform stepped up from the front row, the crowd cheering as he slowly took his seat with the organizers, setting down a walking stick and tapping the microphone.
  
  "It's a pleasure to be back in Titania, thank you for having me. *Ahem*, as you know, I'm a retired officer in the Spartycan Aerial Navy, honorably discharged, and currently working as a researcher in UFO phenomenon. I've been called a lot of things, a cook, a drunk, a wacknut lunatic, but I am proud to be here now. Before I shamelessly ask you to buy my newest book, I will first share my story. I was first recruited following the formation of the branch, forty years ago. I served on the exploratory fleet, first to map out the whole world, at that. Thanks to the work we did you'll be hard pressed to find anywhere 'xept the penguin lands marked 'oca incognita', but I'm not here about this. Thirty years ago, while charting the azranian outer islands, I was on shore leave when, inexplicably, I blacked out, bright lights descended from the sky and the next thing I knew, I awakened in a white room, strange, metallic forms levitated around me, seeming to carry me afloat into a ship, not much unlike my own carrier. Next thing I knew, I awakened on my vessel, my CO suspected I had gotten drunk and passed out, apparently, they found me lying naked in the desert, and some natives had carried me back into the ship, but I know what happened, I was taken aboard an alien spacecraft and subjected to all manner of torment. I underwent deep regression using substances acquired on an expedition to the isle of plunts, and uncovered the truth, all outlined in my book, "Taken by the Floaters"."
  
  The crowd applauded, and so did the organizers, one among them being a beeheyem, who seemed not to understand the implications of this old man's story.
  
  Arceus:
  
  "I'll be available for signings after the meeting, but I'm out of time now it seems."
  
  "Indeed, next up zoologist Juniper Oakland, who shares her experiences studying rare Manaphies in the nearby waters, and his discovery of ancient ruins. Give her a hand!"
  
  The zoologist takes a seat, tapping the mic and addressing the crowd.
  
  "Thank you everyone, I'm sure many of you have read "Lost City of the Water Fairies", but for those who haven't, I will give a brief summary for anyone who wants to pick it up afterwards. For those of you who don't know me, I gained recognition in my field after writing a comprehensive study on Deoxys, a multiviral, rather than multicellular entity thought to originate from one of the other planets by my team, likely having arrived in a more primitive form and evolved after exposure to our world. I proved this despite the constant opposition from skeptics, and for that I was present upon a zoological voyage to catalogue the migration patterns of the rare Manaphy species of water-sprite, perculiar in that it never seems to migrate along the same path each year. As we knew, they must do this to spawn, as breeding prior to migration only produces infertile Phione, but we never knew where they were going. Our vessel did, however, stumble completely by accident through a kind of magical barrier, wherein we discovered the truth. A wandering island, not unlike the source of Devil Fruits whose movements have been charted over the last centuries, but unlike that case, it was topped with a massive, ancient structure reminiscent of the Alphic architecture that dots the globe. The vast majority of the structure was underwater, and despite photographic evidence proving it as a reality, we have been unable to find it again. Until we do and get some actual archeologists inside, we won't be finding out what the ancients left for us any time soon."
  
  Dementia:
  
  "I will be available for book signings after the seminar, but now it looks like my time is up."
  
  "Correct, and a wonderful presentation, Miss Juniper, next is Mr. Time... turner? What kind of name is-"
  
  With her name having been called, a brown stallion trotted up onto the stage, an hourglass symbol visible on his flank. Turner was the owner and proprieter of one of the few Caffcuddles businesses remaining in operation in Titania, having struggled to maintain the business after various claims that his other locations were hosting gang activity (true) and that coffee was corrupting public morals, a more dubious claim, but given its alternative name, "The Corruptor's Tea", it was difficult to refute. Given his background, he had been invited to speak at the event, though, having known he would be brought into a room full of UFO nuts, he probably would have turned the purchase of the meeting down. Regardless, he was here, and, unable to sit, awkwardly laid down at the foot of the table, holding a microphone in between his hooves.
  
  "Hello there, it is wonderful to meet all-"
  
  "Sir Turner, I would first like to say, contact by your people was quite possibly the most unprecedented and world-changing event before disclosure from our government, at last, that sirens do exist. I simply have a few questions, how and why did you do it, in a scientific or magical sense, and, I will ask something less commonly thought of, it is known among transmundanists that, prior to your arrival, a number of cryptic letters arrived on the desks of many world leaders, and were kept secret from the public in most cases. Their contents have since been discovered, but if you know how and why they were sent, please explain."
  
  "Well..."
  
  Crap, he wanted a whole history lesson. At the very least, Turner was never one to disappoint.
  
  "Well, we are from the planet Dementia, your people long knew it as just a light in the sky, however it is in fact a world much like this one, well, in superficial ways. The weather does not change on its own save for in a few places, we must manually shift the seasons, and like you we share our world with many other species. We learned a way to create a portal from here to another world purely by magic, and as we've long known we orbited another world beyond the spheres, we thought to come here first. There really isn't much else to it... As for the letters, I've never heard of them, I'm sure they were just an afterthought. A way of announcing our arrival I guess."
  
  "And... I must ask, why the coffee shop?"
  
  "What? It's just a coffee shop."
  
  "Come on, what's the secret agenda"
  
  "What agenda? We just want to sell drinks."
  
  "Not just any drink, why travel between the spheres to sell us the devil's brew anyway? Not even trying to antagonize, here."
  
  "We did not know there was such a stigma against coffee in much of this world, on our world it is quite a popular beverage, though I personally prefer tea."
  
  "Why is that, hmm?"
  
  "Well, I-"
  
  "And why have we found, through independent and widely suppressed studies of your supply that many contain highly addic-"
  
  Standard protocol kicked into gear, time sped up rapidly, at least from his perspective, and Turner simply stepped off the stage, neatly setting down the microphone and resetting the chairs that had been pushed out of the way. His ability to do this was... unique, but made him ideal as a representative should anyone turn up the heat a bit too much. He knew of no other Xelor user in the world, though others did exist. As he reached the exit, and brought himself back to an ordinary timeframe. in the nanosecond that passed, the organizer blinked.
  
  "Where'd he go!? There was a pony! Right there! Was he even there at all? What was I just talking about?"
  
  A member of the audience speaks up, seeming quite dazed as well.
  
  "I think you were... introducing the next speaker?"
  
  "Ah! Yes!"
  
  Diddly:
  
  He rifles through some papers, Time Turner's name having been crossed out during the anomaly, and selects the next one on the list.
  
  "Our next speaker, a young man by the name of 'Daeddal', formerly just Derek, claims to have undergone a religious transformation following an encounter with beings from another world, he is considered an enlightened guru in the new religious movement of Diddlydonism, give him a hand folks."
  
  The crowd cheered as a man in black and white robes took a seat, taking the microphone.
  
  "Thank you for having me, may I?"
  
  He extends his hand to the host of the convention, as if to shake it, and when his gesture is returned, the older man lurches back in pain. A hand buzzer had been concealed in the guest speaker's palm.
  
  "Hah, never gets old, now, you wanted to hear my story? Well, where to begin? The beginning of course! I once lived on a small island, right off the coast of the Foglands, barely deserved a name it was so remote, but it was there that I first partook in the festivals that swept across the world only a short while ago, the Great Revelry as it came to be known. In the years that followed that time of revelry I became a priest of my order, don't start throwing anything though, I'm not here to sow seeds of diddle in you bunch of dragon-fucking halfwits, Only to relay what I have detailed much more explicitely in my book, 'To Diddle your Sisters, from the Stars'."
  
  That pause between sisters and from the stars was most certainly not included in the title of the book, but nonetheless the priest giggled to himself along with the crowd as the double-entendre rippled across the auditorium.
  
  "I must open by saying I am not one to shy away from dangerous evangelism. I have traveled to the deepest jungles of the west to preach to wayward elven folk, who, having abandoned a fallen system needed new means of seeking pleasure. I have shown the great dances of my people to giants and dragons, and so, on one fateful night when I was brought aboard the vessel of the star-sisters, sirens as you call them, I was probed, but I was not afraid, for in the white room they held me in, I danced, I danced until they did as well, and it was through my faith that I convinced the star-sisters not to erase my memory, but to return to this world and continue my work. From my experience I know much of them, their culture and history. They have been, historically, a fun-loving and peaceful people, they are not here to conquer as many think, but to enlighten. They seek to bring an end to war, to spread joy and friendship, and so my congregation has been amassing a fund to construct an alien embassy, to welcome them, and to host a great festival when they arrive, as The Foundation does across the world. Donations will be accepted after the conference, along with book-signings!"
  
  The priest steps down, and the crowd applauds once more, as the chief of the board speaks again.
  
  "Remember! All of our guest speakers will be available for book signings at the end of the conference, bring your own copy or purchase one at the desk!"
  
  Ickol:
  
  "Our next guest speaker will be one Baekya Chin, known for his writings pertaining to anarcho-communism, and pioneer in the controversial field of portal alchemy. He's come here promoting his book, 'Reflecting upon the Twixt, portals, mirrors, and monsters', wherein he details encounters with otherworldly beings during his time in the third Anarcho-Communist autonomous zone founded within the Jade Empire. Please give him a warm welcome!"
  
  The crowd applauds, as a Jade Imperial man takes his seat. Western Common was not his first language, so an interpreter was present, though, he wouldn't be needed, as Baekya had fortuately rehearsed.
  
  *Ahem*, "Thank you, thank you, I am happy to come here, to share my experiences. A little background first. I, along with the standing council in my village were among the first in the East to adopt Anarcho-Communism, based on the works of Lireaco Yer. Though our commune was eventually forced to disband, it's relative freedoms enabled me to experiment freely with ender pearls, which are outlawed in much of the empire. It was through my experimentation I found out I could convert a mirror into a portal, which acted as a link between this world and a reflection of it, a 'dark world' if you will, opposite of ours and which reflects ours, but physically existing parallel to our own world, not separated by any true distance. I outline in my book how the beings in this world parallel reports of "Abberation-type" alien abductions, and possible interdimensional explanations for these events. Unfortunately, it was the fact that these portals go both ways that led to the downfall of our commune. An imposter infiltrated the group and tore it apart from within, all this is detailed in my second book, "Among Us.", which I will be signing tonight."
  
  Inqui:
  
  "Well, thank you for sharing, now, I'm sure you will all be happy to welcome our next speaker, renowned suboccaean explorer, Edward Lytton, please give him a warm welcome!"
  
  The crowd applauds again, this time accompanied by laughter, as the author arrives dressed in a hard hat, overalls and carries spelunking gear. His facial features gave him away as Titanian, though renowned more for his expeditions in remote regions of the west, getting to which was quite a feat by the standards of the Titanian citizenry, airships were, after all, quite slow.
  
  "Thank you, thank you, I'd like to open with a question, what brought you all here? Was it aliens? monsters that looked like aliens? Regardless, an encounter with the unknown brought you here, as it did me. For, though the mainstream scientific community rejects my work as reckless, unscientific and borderline criminal, I outline it for the public to decide in my book, "The Coming Race", detailing a number of ancient, advanced civilizations dwelling beneath the west, along with those beneath our very feet! A synopsis of my tale, I entered into the great underdark through an extinct volcano on the shores of the Biome, entering into an advanced civilization calling themselves the First Light. They were wary of me at first, but I managed to learn much about them, namely their current state of affairs. They have long been in conflict with a race of metallic insects, matching descriptions of the "Scyther Aliens" as they have come to be known. The Vril suspect them a biomantic experiment conducted upon a population of Scizzor, in order to create superior fighting-beasts. Given its proximity under Camelot, I explain in my book reasons for suspecting the origins of "Super Soldier" rumors regarding that nation. I outline everything about the "Daegers", as the Vril call them in my book as well."
  
  "Amazing! I must ask though, as your book does not specify their identity, with whom did you make the journey? It is mentioned on numerous occasions that you payed a group of mercenaries to travel alongside you, but you never name them or the organization they represented, why is that?"
  
  "Well, we must preserve some professional secrets must we? All I'll say is that they were a group of opportunistic entreprenuers at the time, they funded my expedition assuming I might uncover treasure or reverse-engineerable technology. Can't say more, sadly, I was made to sign a non-disclosure agreement at the time due to opposition from a secretive organization, beastmasters I believe, likely some spearian agency given how well trained their monsters seemed to be. I swear, the sight of a vicious anaconda wrapping around your leg is not tempered by a fedora, no matter how fine."
  
  "I'm sorry, what?"
  
  "Oh, it's nothing, my associates disbanded long ago anyway after that dragon incident, you can get going."
  
  Ocaeril:
  
  "...Thank you for that, next on our agenda, we have brought in a former journalist from the Biome, whose work has been largely unreported, due to apparent contradictions of the twin doctrines of the biome, please give him a hand folks!"
  
  The crowd applauded, then stopped, as a man with tentacle for an arm steps into the room. He was used to this though, in foreign lands.
  
  "Thanks for the warm welcome, titania."
  
  Most of the audience couldn't help but giggle
  
  "I will say first, this was not given to me by any aliens, rather it was just a... utilitarian improvement."
  
  He flips around the microphone, tosses it into the air, pulls up his seat and then catches it, all using the same tendril.
  
  "I would first like to say, I came to this convention for alien-abductees not necessarily because I am one, but rather, because my own nation suppresses the truth that I sought to present. You see, for the longest time, official sources have often disputed the claims of those who experience traumatic alien abductions as victims of Cenobites, who for whatever reason, had their memories altered and were released following periods of torture. I, as an investigative journalist of the Biome, sought to understand the Cenobites in ways previous scholars never had, by venturing into the heart of their territory. What I found is detailed in more length in my memoir, but in short, I ventured into the jungle, in search of cenobite settlements alongside a number of bioengineered bodyguards. My hope was that I would locate Sodom, the last city of the cenobites, but upon reaching the area we suspected it to be, we found only an empty, organically-grown husk, stripped of anything useful. Suspecting raiders had done away with them, we decided to leave, eventually getting lost in the jungle, and inadvertantly locating what we later discovered to be a sort of reconstruction of cenobite society. You see, unbeknownst to the outside world, these creatures, long thought to abduct people from across the world in unseen piratical raids have been, for the last several centuries, existing in utter squallor, due to a curse they blamed for their need to raid. Allegedly, due to displeasing a god many hundreds of years ago, they were cursed not only with an addiction to extreme sensation, but an inability to feel, and so they were forced to seek out 'donors'."
  
  He does airquotes, with his tentacle
  
  "Apparently, some time years ago, this curse was broken, leading to mass cultural upheaval within the cenobites, and abandonment of their previous ways, along with a near-total eradication of the ruling class. I describe their current situation in my book, but they have taken up living in immense tree-cities, grown from the ground-up not unlike the Zonots. They remain as hedonistic as one would expect, and yet, having adopted the Foundation, they are almost completely non-violent. Of course, portraying cenobites in any favorable light is not very accepted in my country due to our history, and so my work has been largely ignored. However! What must be taken from this, since the fall of the cenobite order, no new slaves have been taken by that regime, calling into question countless formal dismissals by so-called debunkers regarding the phenomenon of alien abduction!"
  
  Thunderous applause followed, as he was escorted off the stage.
  
  Oen:
  
  "Next to be speaking today, one of the greatest scientists of our time, Sir Robert Lazar, famed worker on the siren project and contributor to its eventual disclosure, give him a hand!"
  
  The crowd applauded furiously for this one, as, to be honest, this was the guy they were all here for. Famed researcher on the project to integrate Siren machinery into the Titanian air force, and later into the civilian sector following disclosure, something he had no small hand in.
  
  "Well, good to be here, I didn't write another book, but signed copies of my memoir will be available for purchase afterwards. So, what exactly would you like to ask me, anyway?"
  
  "Well, you've been to expos such as this one many times before, we've all heard about how you got into the program, and what eventually lead you to working toward disclosure, but the actual technical aspects of your work have gone quite underappreciated. Is there anything you would like to say about
  
  "Well, let's start from the beginning, During my time at Site S-4, I was one of the many scientists tasked with examining the siren technology. I admittedly glamorized the work in my memoir, in fact I seriously embellished, we were effectively just tinkering with whatever working parts we found the the wreckage and trying to piece together working technology from what was left over. Anyone whose worked with some of my inventions can attest to how alien it all is. Their weapons are essentially like the horns of ponies, giant crystal pylons that direct the winds into energy beams, but that and the antigravity was the easy part, for antigrav we realized we just had to keep the crystals vibrating fast enough and they would generate a sort of cushion an airship can just float on top of. Generating vibration has always been the main issue with working with siren technology, as it takes a lot of power to produce a working field, but too much and you will shatter the crystal, which is generally irreplaceable. When it came to airships we eventually just had to make it so the whole outer hull vibrates, while lined with a layer of the gems from the ship. This requires they be made of somewhat fragile materials of course, to support the encrusting. To remedy that, the military models incorporated a system we discovered in some of the siren ships, a sort of repulsive field on the hull that makes them nearly indestructable. I'm no longer working on the project since disclosure, but when I left, we were close to cracking personal powered armor based on what the sirens apparently wore. Without any live Sirens though, power has always been a challenge, even with the nobles saying Eva herself was watching over us as we worked. Siren technology was originally designed to be used by sirens, who can practically grow the stuff out of their bodies. Juryrigging any compatible power source to their computers has proven impossible, deciphering their language has also been all but impossible. With siren sightings at an all time low, I am not hopeful. However, there is always the chance we may discover an alternative method of harnessing siren computational technology. The King's current campaigns in the hedgehog islands may bring us something we can use, even, to say nothing of the other new islands we have made landfall on. Either way, I'll be signing copies of my memoir for your patented antigravity bookshelf shortly, so, if that is all?"
  
  "Oh, yes, just one more thing, regarding the recent association between our kingdom and the Order of the Watch, and the king's instinct to seek them out on merit of a vision. Being a man of your position, can you confirm the existence of the various worlds the order claims to be aware of?"
  
  "Unfortunately not, I am not a particularly religious man ever since I dissected a Siren and realized no sensible god could make such a thing. Though, I would bet on a good eighty percent."
  
  "Well, thank you for coming here today, but you're a busy man, so I suppose we'll bring in our next author, an explorer who ventured across the central sea and author of "Sea Legs", detailing his trip to the Triulian archipelago"
  
  Tiamat:
  
  A man rolled up to the stage. He was in a wheelchair, but not for the reason one generally ends up in one. He was nude from the waste down, and his legs were covered in scales. Giant, frog-like webbed feet were present, and his hands possessed extensive webbing as well. No one was particularly surprised, he was widely known as the "Titanian Frogman" following his participation in a Triulian ritual that altered his physiology greatly.
  
  "Welcome, care to introduce yourself?"
  
  "Of course! My name is- [The frogman produces a loud, gutteral croak]"
  
  "Umm, can you say that again?"
  
  "Certainly, [He repeats the same croak.] "
  
  "Is that... really your name?"
  
  "Why, of course? Why wouldn't it... Hah, just kidding with you all, Lionel Crabb, author of Sea Legs and underwater explorer."
  
  "Excellent! I'm sure you are aware you have been invited here to discuss your experience with ancient, previously undiscovered undersea ruins, but first, would you like to explain how you ended up like... this?"
  
  "Of course, I get asked that a lot. I detail it in my book but for those who have not yet read it, the first destination of my airship's expedition was a remote chain of islands in the west, inhabited by a quaint sort of fish-like men, calling themselves the Triton. A few things to note about that part of the world, three dragons guard the islands and are objects of reverence from the Triton. One of these dragons attends to their princess or queen at any given time, another seems to select a man of particular valor each age and act as his guardian. The third however, a sort of thunder-dragon, is said never to leave its roost at the castle, where it watches over an egg of sorts, said by the locals to be cursed. Regardless of all this, in my inquiries of their sorcerers looking for any means by which to improve mobility underwater, I was taken to a sacred cove of sorts where, presumably by biomancy of some kind, their priests altered me into this shape. Now, regardless of how I may have strangled a cleric with my bare, webbed hands at the time in a fit, I was made able to go on a series of successful dives that would never have been possible without the modifications. One of my greatest discoveries by far would what my associates have come to call the 'Ancient Sky Fortress', clever name I know, but, off the coast of azran, these massive ruins appear to have been once part of a massive airship, possibly of alien construction, but unlike anything we have seen of from Sirens before. Parts of it were returned to the Titanian national museum for study, but much of the ruins were destroyed beyond repair, not necessarily by time or the sea either, much of what we found intact was remarkably undamaged by such, but it appeared that much of the fortress had been utterly destroyed by some kind of energy weapon."
  
  "Fascinating, is there anything else you would like to say before I bring in our final speaker?"
  
  "Well, I-"
  
  He croaked.
  
  "That's gonna look funny on the transcript", he muttered to himself, as he wheeled himself off the stage.
  
  
  The Writhing Cosmos Master:
  
  "Alright, now for our final speaker, former inquisitor Guroch Sorenson, discussing his experiences working in intelligence. As he has clarified in his memoir, all materials discussed have been officially declassified. Please welcome him on stage!"
  
  A resounding boo echoes through the auditorium. No one wanted to see the inquisition spook. To his credit, he actually did show up onto the stage.
  
  "Well, thanks for the warm welcome!"
  
  No one laughed
  
  "Okay I'll keep this brief. In my book, I detail my experiences working in the classified Siren program, as well as using their technology, now outdated, to intercept communications between the other Eastern powers as they continued to mount hostilities. I was among the team that discovered the mysterious "Kruschtya Equation" seemingly being harnessed by our enemies, baring unknown connections to extradimensional beings, and connected the iconography of the federation to that of a number of cultic organizations in the west that have seemingly sprung up in the past decades, possibly as a federation plot. I detail my studies on these beings in question in my book, but to put it shortly, we suspect a race of extradimensional, magical forces to be responsible in large part for the formation of the federation, and we can't exactly yet tell if they are alien, daemonic, or somewhere in betwee-"
  
  A tomato cuts him short.
  
  "Very well..."
  
  He sighs, and steps off the stage.
  
  "Well, that could have ended better, but I'm sure this is all what you've been waiting for, get out your books for signing, and be sure to check out the minibar!"
  
  Epilogue:
  
  As the various transmundanic authors lined up behind various stalls to begin the book-signings, one of the members of the crowd had been listening even more carefully then the rest. He stayed in his seat for much longer than anyone else, arousing some suspicion as most people had already gotten up. The fact that for the entire seminar he had held his feet up against the chair in front of him was also not that discreet. The organizer noticed him as he stepped down from the stage.
  
  "Well hello sir, you here to get anything particular?"
  
  
  
  
  Flagrantly ignoring the no smoking sign, he puts out a cigarette and sighs.
  
  "I suppose you could say that..."
  
  He gets up out of his chair, trudging off out of the seminar, muttering under his breath as he leaves.
  
  "And to think my plans were foiled by these knuckleheads..."
  
  
  Meanwhile
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (This but with twenty thrones and mac tonight Sonic.exe instead of elf lady)
  
  In the blink of an eye, each of the gods materializes once more upon their thrones, the hall looking as pristine as ever with a feast prepared upon the table, though, strangely, instead of the multicolored, flavorless jello-like, substance usually upon the plates, someone appears to have preset the table with all manner of good-tasting, but unhealthy snack food, potato crisps, sweetrolls, donuts and all manner of other such things. The nectar of the gods had additionally been replaced, with imitation vodka it would seem. The source of such tampering with the dinner table would soon be seen, or rather heard, as the clone of Original that Ickol had, some half-century ago, forgotten to properly dispose of.
  
  
  
  Along with the seemingly new "Attendent" of the hall, Ickoriginal would be seen within for the first time, dressed in her usual tuxedo and top hat, though to many of the gods this would be the first they see of her having fused with Original, though this may not be the first assumption, as original is already here, in the form of a vestigial clone. Additionally, two new gods are present in the hall, retroactive memories of them present in the rest of the pantheon. One among them, Bastet, a minor goddess and drunken reveler, and the second of the two new gods was some kind of... pig... armadillo... crocodile... dragon... thing... that all of the gods would remember for his destructive and uncontrollable nature. Traxel, this was. As customary, the gods would have their meeting before going to do their work, and of course, nothing would ever go wrong... right...?
  
  Oh yeah! And Gaul was there too! The incarnation of war and destruction itself from across the cosmos, was just sitting there on the Alchemist's throne. That was probably fine. At the very least, despite all this chaos, Helsa was not present, being preoccupied in Arqa.
  
  Oh hang on... was he always here..?
  
  
  
  "ALRIGHT SUCKERS. BETCHA' THOUGHT I WAS GONE. NOPE. LONG STORY SHORT I'M GETTING TIRED OF YOU ALL TAKING SO LONG WITH EVERYTHING. FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE GOING TO BE EXPERIENCING TIME LIKE NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE. NONE OF THIS FIFTY YEAR-TO-A-SOMETHING RATIO BULLSHIT ANYMORE. NORMAL FUCKING TIME. TO COMPENSATE I AM MAKING YOU ALL WAY FUCKING WEAKER. LIKE, A LOT WEAKER. FROM NOW ON YOU ARE ONLY GETTING ONE BIG THING. ONE, BIG, THING, AND ARE OTHERWISE GOING TO HAVE TO ACTUALLY WORK TO MAKE THINGS GO YOUR WAY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, TELL ME, SAY, WHENEVER I BRING YOU SHITSTAINS BACK HERE? WHO KNOWS YOU MAY LIKE IT. ANYWAY TA-TA."
  
  The gods collectively feel a drain, as if everything slows down, and their power wanes. Whatever just happened, it wasn't good.
  
  This and the following turns (unless otherwise specified) will henceforth take place over a timeframe of no lmore than twenty five years, and the gods will have only one action per turn. This is not necessarily going to be permanent, just an experiment with gameplay mechanics.
  
  
• 
  
  Andy:
  
  The Spartycan air fleet was founded, the largest airforce present on ocaeril and currently the premier military power of the world. Among other accomplisments, they have effectively filled in the maps lost by the fall of the empire, the few remaining uncharted areas of the world, like the deep western jungles and many islands, have been fully mapped out, along with the ice sheets. This has made many world powers aware of forces such as the Penguins to the south, and the Cenobites in the jungle.
  
  Arceus:
  
  The temple is known to exist, as are Manaphies and Deoxys, but the Sea Crown has not been successfully taken from the temple yet, as so far no one has been able to consistently track its movements, what with manaphies being so rare, and catching them in migration being a once-in-a-lifetime occurence. The hoax of an ancient, worldwide spearian empire is now generally accepted as fact, though, it might not be a hoax after all...
  
  
  Diddly:
  
  Diddly has inspired new religious movements, similar to the original foundation but on the more hedonistic side, throughout the world, with new holdings on every continent. A few notable areas where large-scale diddling has occured is among the Cenobites, which following their migration and de-cursing have adopted his teachings while maintaining some of their previous culture. One of the guru's diddly inspired via hard partying even managed to evangelize the Sirens.
  
  Ickol:
  
  Lireaco founded anarcho-communism, which despite its failures continues to be pursued by ocaerillian leftists to this day, stating that she never attempted "Real" ancom-ism. Additionally, her birth had the side effect of creating a mirror-world of Ocaeril, separated from it and only accessible using specific portal magic. So far, the only successful bridge between the two worlds was created by a Xorju-worshipping mage in an attempt to reach The End. The result was a thing-like abomination that destroyed their anarcho-communist commune. Aside from suggesting that the mirror world is inhabited by semi-eldritch creatures, and that it is a darker reflection of ocaeril, I have not given much in the way of detail so that churl can worldbuild it more freely. A few things to note though, it is entirely separate from the Reverse/Distortion World, and unlike the reverse world, things done in the dark world will not affect the light world. (IE: Moving a chair in the dark world won't move it in the light world) It may have generated a variety of planes alien to those of ocaeril however along with it, such as its own dark variation of the faewild, yokai dimension, and reverse world. I leave all this up to you though.
  
  Inqui:
  
  The Daeger's hive's expansion has been largely curbed as they encounter the vril and hostilities break out between the two races. Meanwhile, the Opportunists have effectively folded as an organization due to heavy losses in product and manpower by "animal attacks". Spearian beastmasters (pokemon trainers) are suspected, and as such the OWCA remains a secret organization.
  
  Ocaeril:
  
  Fou's reconstruction of cenobite society went about as well as it could, with them stripping their old city and constructing a new one around a new "World Tree", grown in honor of fou and nearing the height of the original. Being unaware of the new world tree, they didn't bother to name it anything different. Their society remains as hedonistic, perverted and corrupt as ever, but with the curse broken, the cult of pain largely reduced to a fringe fetish club as it once was, and Pinhead presumably dead, alongside a recent conversion to the foundation, which takes a more "Family friendly" approach to hedonism and degeneracy, they've gone back to mostly harmless horny elves.
  
  The Lunarians and the Digiverse remain undiscovered, perhaps not for long, though.
  
  Oen:
  
  Titania's airship fleet was constructed according to her specifications, however without living sirens, and a limited supply of the materials they work with, the highly advanced technology of the sirens such as computers and interplanetary flight remain closed off to Titania, and by extension the rest of the world. Regardless, understanding of the Kineticite crystals obtained from the wreckage Eva provided, as well as that obtained from salvage operations, have made a lot of otherwise impossible magitek a reality, antigravity devices such as floating elevator platforms, personal airships, and many other things of the future a reality. With a limited and unrenewable supply of necessary materials however, these technologies are extremely expensive, and mostly limited to use by public institutions and wealthy companies. The Order of the Watch has integrated well with the populace, though largely because no one is going to question the king on the matter. Regarding the King, he is currently on the hedgehog island, fighting in a campaign the fate of which will be determined in the following posts.
  
  Tiamat:
  
  Tiamat has created a sacred fountain of sorts on the tritonian isles (Triule, a pun on hyrule) that, when bathed in for an extensive period of time, modifies a non-triton with aquatic traits for vastly superior water mobility and the ability to breathe underwater, making them look like a kind of frogman. This may or may not be reversible, and it is unknown to the populace as of yet if any populations have used this fountain to venture permanently beneath the waves. Meanwhile, Paradise, Demiurge and Kirin guard the triforce pieces, though with the Triforce of Power having no holder, Kirin is stuck with a rather boring job of just watching it. Also, foreshadowing...
  
  Writhing Cosmos:
  
  The Federation's preparations for war have not gone unnoticed, and neither have the formation of the cults in the west. Titania in particular is preparing for potential conflict with the Jade, Huskarr and Penguins, and most governments are at least aware that cult-like organizations are infiltrating high ranking positions, but have done little about it.
  
  
• 
  
  

  The point defense does its work, and does it well, firing on the countless swarm craft with cold and emotionless precision. The command ship reorganizes the destroyed escort ships, intent on using their raw material to fabricate new ships.

  
  The remaining fighters that do not flee are destroyed. The gaullic fleet had proven victorious. Salvage proved difficult however, as several disabled fighters de-orbited onto a planet below, disappearing into its strangely pastel-colored atmosphere.
  
  View attachment 789287
  
  Those that did not escape to equestria would prove largely useless to the guallic fleet, their crystalline materials far too alien to repair anything with, but either way, losses were minor, and the destruction of a Siren capital ship was a sizeable victory. With only a few small space stations detected in the following spheres, Ocaeril would be undefended.
  
  Puppernickel (it's raining sirens in equestria)
  
  
• 
  
  

  Titanic Exploratory Fleet
  The King noticed the fall of one of his Titans, not to mention the explosion from the temple. Earlier neglected, it was clear that it likely contained Warpstone or a similar agent of the Cosmos- and that was one of the things Eva did not appreciate. The King had a vested interest in serving the Goddess. Railguns warmed up, and bolts of Titan crystal punched through stone like paper, likely shattering the Warpstone. Additional Railguns targeted the hedgehog, and the King would direct the Titans to cover their napes with their hands, as well as turning their burning steam to its maximum.
  
  The King also decided that now would be the time to personally attack. Shedding his long cape, he moved to an airlock and leapt from the ship. His teeth found his hand, bit down with a spray of blood, and suddenly a bolt of lightning struck him.
  
  View attachment 785544
  Rising fifty feet tall, he didn't look as threatening as the 132-foot tall armored Titans, but only a fool would doubt the Power of the Coordinate. With a Scream, his Titans simultaneously turned to face the Hyper-Hog, and began to charge it. Their colossal bodies were surprisingly fast, and the instinctive defense of their napes would make them harder to kill.

  
  The temple, made of a near-indestructable form of brick, wouldn't explode immediately, though the shots inflicted enough structural damage to punch holes in it, but clearly whatever was inside was already out of options having released this creature, given an utter lack of response to the assault it could be determined nothing more would be coming out of it. The titanians would be unsure if they hit the warpstone within or not, which in reality they did, though due to being inert no epic explosion would be produced as usually occurs when a corrupted waystone is destroyed.
  
  The hyper-hog, meanwhile, darted into the titans, punching through their torsos like a bullet, but inflicting no serious damage on account of not seeming to deliberately aim for their weak point. It would seem that, in all the years passed since their war with the titanians, the hogs had forgotten exactly where to hit. As one of the titans was effectively turned into swiss cheese by the hog, ineffectively at that, the King gets the sense he should take advantage of this distraction by somehow intercepting it before it can discover its mistake. It is travelling far too fast to catch though without blowing a hole in his own hand. The rubble from that temple is made out of very sturdy stuff, perhaps it could be picked up and used somehow to catch, and possible kill, this creature. A collision at those speeds with something it can't penetrate would probably be very... very lethal.
  
  

 

[Space Buddha]

• ”Main”
• TL;DR
• Duchess Reply

• 
  
  @Revan4221 | @Scrump_Diddle | @Stikes | @KolastoRPN | @Selee-01 | @Churl | @Barbas | @VomitIcicle | @Celestial Speck | @CutieBoop | @Gravitys Momentum | Puppernickel | Kingly K Duel |
  
  
  GM UPDATE
  
  Dawn of the New Year: 1620
  
  
  Meanwhile, in a caffcuddles location, an elderly man sat at a table who, though most would not guess, bore the weight of two hundred years and two hundred regrets. He downed a bottle of what looked like pure icing and occasionally took a bite out of a derpsberry muffin. He'd built up a tolerance over the years, but anything to numb the pain, he thought.
  
  "What are you looking at..?"
  
  He seemed miffed as someone sat beside him, blowing a puff of smoke into their face from his cigarette. The man sitting next to him didn't seem to react, and as the smoke cleared his features could be determined. His pointed ears suggested him an exodite, though his skin was pale, almost grey, but not quite. The elf wore a long, flowing black cape. Now, wearing a cape wasn't exactly an oddity in most western fashion, but not a heavy one, nor a black one, given the ninety degree weather. The cane was also somewhat unusual, as this elf didn't look a day over two hundred.
  
  
  Spoiler: Ref

  
  
  "I'm looking at a man who needs work."
  
  Another puff of smoke to the face.
  
  "What's with the cape? It's like a hundred degrees."
  
  "Allow me to rephrase, I'm looking at a former syndicate operative who faces summary execution in seven countries, and has two extradimensional empires out for your blood."
  
  He dropped his cigarrette.
  
  "Was I warm?"
  
  "Well, I assume you're warm from all that get up, but what do you want anyway, money? I can get you money."
  
  The elf shook his head, "Not at all, I am looking for a business associate, there's just the little problem of me having been, well, dead, over the past twenty years that needs reconciliation."
  
  "What do you mean, dead?"
  
  "I mean I was dead. I was incinerated in fact."
  
  "And might I ask then, how are you alive?"
  
  "Well, I'm not. Not exactly, the me that died is gone, I'm simply a... replica. A doppleganger, if you will. I'm certain you are familiar with such things."
  
  The eyes of the cigarette guy seemed to lose all color for a moment, the pupils expanding to blacken the whites.
  
  "What does any of that have to do with me..?"
  
  "A number of things, you see, when it comes to the machinations of higher beings there are very few people likely to be able to answer my questions, you being among those few, and... well, I am aware you came into possession of a particularly rare artifact, one that I think might help me activating one of my own."
  
  Baldur&Tiamat - Score 7/10, 5/10
  
  "Your own..?"
  
  "We should..."
  
  The elf looks over to a pair of ponies, intently watching them with their dopey smiles.
  
  "Discuss this in private, perhaps at the docks?"
  
  "I do not appreciate the stench of tar and pollution thank you very much, besides, the docks have been closed for years now, what with all the makoids surfacing now and again after getting driven up to the surface. I wouldn't go out there without a loaded machinepistol, even if the Pact and those clerics have made cleanup a little easier, sharing those shrines that kept Seascale clean 'n all."
  
  "Pollution, The Pact? To what do you refer?"
  
  The doppleganger crammed another derpsberry muffin into his mouth.
  
  "Right, been livin' under a rock, I forgot. Well, my sources think it was the demons, or some other pirate gang, somethin' dumped a load of poison ooze into the sea. Killed the fishin' business and has been driving makoids to the surface all over the world. No tellin' how hard the Deep Ones were hit, and tons of islands have had to evacuate with all the toxic sludge washing up on shore. As for The Pact, well, that's just what we've come to call the konohans and the tritons since they signed, well, the pact of the sea. A while before the dump the tritons built this huge underwater city called Seascale, and were experimenting with some kinda magic that purified the water. Just in time too, might not still be 'round if they'd been a few years late on those, all we had 'fore them was whatever algae the biome could cook up. There's also of course their goddess's involvement, which I've heard on good sources that she sometimes just... shows up."
  
  "Shows up?"
  
  "Yeah, just comes up outta the sea and walks around. Apparently something big happened right around when the city was built, something huge in fact, something changed about their goddess they thought was worth commemorating with Seascale."
  
  "Okay so, not the docks then?"
  
  "Nah mate, mutant shark-men driven mad by slime ain't my scene."
  
  Bastet: Score - 6/10
  
  "Very well, there's an alley behind this establishment, I suppose we could discuss matters there."
  
  "No dice, cats'r mighty vicious this time of year, going around in packs too I've heard. Not just that, cats have been acting strange lately, haven't they? They'll run off into the woods and never come back, gather in groves, Baldur's nuts I've heard of them going out atop roofs and praying to the stars at night. Chaos-cults of cats, whod'a figured. I heard once, from some druid, that they're like a bunch of warring tribes, the cats. Clans apparently they're called, and they ain't too friendly to us. They'll attack anything that gets into their territory."
  
  "I die for twenty years and cats have reached the medieval period..?"
  
  "Yep..."
  
  Diddly - Score, 6/10
  
  "Alright, we'll just stay here for now. Tell me, has the imperial remnant finally dissolved itself?"
  
  "Heh, not at all buddy. In fact they've formally claimed themselves as a successor state to the empire and started expanding their territory. Reforms, social programs, infrastructure projects, and then there was the gathering."
  
  "What was that?"
  
  "Well, my sources in the still liars suggest the imperials might have done some kind of ritual with psykers to send the message, but effectively every wizard in the west was called in their dreams to the city of mung. Most didn't show of course, not since it's looking like spartycas will be declaring war any day now, 'n the liars seem to have thrown their lot behind them. The ones that did were treated to a pretty standard convention, it's been an annual event for a while but with the imperials isolated it hasn't ever been quite as big."
  
  "Why exactly are the imperials isolated, might I ask?"
  
  "Has a lot to do with what's been goin' on west of the border. Spartycan officials have been dropping like flies under mysterious circumstances, and the people are convinced the Empire has something to do with it. Not to mention the imperials merging with the Revelry, no one liked that move much, actually recognizing those pirates, now their only ally's the biome, and other foundation states I would suppose, though it's not like the centaurs will be helping them much. Pressure from their allies has meant The Pact hasn't been too friendly with the empire, though even still I've heard of a chakral clan establishing itself there, likely as part of their government's ongoing eugenics program."
  
  Ickol: Score, 5/10
  
  "Wait, eugenics program?"
  
  "Yeah, from what I've heard, some of my old... colleagues established themselves in the sovereignty and have gone back to their old ways."
  
  "Old ways?"
  
  "Right, right, not everyone here has managed over ten global conspiracies. Long story short, a few hundred years ago the organization I was once a member in..."
  
  The ponies began listening even more intently, and the smoking man sighed.
  
  "We should probably go outside."
  
  "Eh, no need."
  
  The elf waved his hand and his ear seemed to detach itself from his body, jutting out on a thin stalk toward the other man's mouth. The disgusting nature of the sight most definitely scared off the ponies.
  
  "Whisper into it."
  
  "Uh... okay..?"
  
  He reluctantly picks up the ear and begins to speak.
  
  "W-Well, a few hundred years ago, my organization propped themselves up as leaders of a small country by the name of larion, genetically engineering a subservient race, the changelings, that is. After we became the Syndicate and most of our members were killed, the rumor goes some survivors pulled a similar plot in the sovereignty. I don't buy it, though. Partially because I am confident I was the only survivor of the raid on our compound, and partially because I was not invited."
  
  Inqui: Score, 6/10
  
  The ear retracts, and the elf nods again.
  
  "Hmm... interesting... Now, um, as I know you are an 'appraiser' of zhailving-era antiquities, yes?"
  
  "What? Do I look like a-"
  
  The elf raises an eyebrow, winking. The smoking man seemed to realize what he meant, mentally slapping himself for missing a cue he would have quickly gotten years prior.
  
  "Ah of course, on to business then, you have something to show me, yes?"
  
  The elf nodded, producing a golden cup, engraved with elaborate designs.
  
  View attachment 804314
  
  "I, uh..."
  
  "Come on, what is it?"
  
  "I dunno, a cup?"
  
  The elf deadpanned, looking down at the cup and back to the "appraiser".
  
  "Y-You don't actually know what this is?"
  
  "No idea. Looks like a cup."
  
  "I thought you were some kind of international operative with ties to every secret organization on the book. You seriously don't know what this is!?"
  
  "Not the faintest."
  
  The elf leans in.
  
  "It is what is known as a 'holy grail'... These artifacts are a bit like your 'crystal skull', at least in terms of their rarity. They have, according to most records of them, been inert since the first age of gods, but recently, documents have been uncovered enabling their activation, and I happen to possess these documents."
  
  "Okay, and... what does it do?"
  
  "From what I have managed to piece together, it is able to access the fabled "Throne of Heroes", or Valhalla, and return some of the most powerful people from history back to life."
  
  "Has anyone actually done it yet?"
  
  "No, at least, not that I know of. The only known copy of the rituals are held in the spartycan university, and have not been reprinted. That's why I came here in fact, I figured, with your connections, it could be possible to... acquire such an artifact."
  
  "Hmm... what's in it for me?"
  
  Traxel: Score, 7/10
  
  "I figured that having an immortal, indestructable bodyguard would be sufficient in terms of payment. Surely you can find some use for that."
  
  "I suppose, there is always the arena isle, the "Killoseum". Built by some unknown party it's been used by pirates ever since off the coast of the jade. From what I know, the servants generally look a lot less powerful than they are, were I a betting man, I would arrive, arrange for it to fight the toughest beast they have and wager my life savings on it. Walk out with my funds doubled."
  
  "Seems like quite a risk, betting on illegal deathmatches, and all."
  
  "Hardly a deathmatch, something about the magic of the island ensures no one can truly die in the center ring. Then again, most'a the time the loser gets his head smashed in by some rowdy pirates for losin' them their cash. 'N fact, I... should probably hit the gym since they will likely do the same to me before I collect my winnings..."
  
  Xorju - Score, 10/10
  
  "Alright, so, do you intend to provide me with the information I require?"
  
  "I'll need to get in touch with some'a my contacts, I know of one group that has been amassing magical texts and who doesn't want me dead. Last I heard, they've been experimenting with portals to other worlds through limbo. They're based out on some volcanic islands, apparently because they need obsidian to work their portals."
  
  "Portals to... where?"
  
  "Can't be sure, their whole M.O is finding new worlds, but last I heard, they'd made contact with something comparable to imps, though, less vicious, more... cute as they described them. Apparently we can't survive in that world for long though, so they've had to find some creative solutions. Unmanned rovers have been all they've gotten through so far, that they've been able to bring back that is. Anything else, well, it ain't pretty."
  
  "Huh, well they certainly sound like they have the assets we will require. I look forward to doing business with you, Mr..? You have a name, yes?"
  
  "Yeah, it's-"
  
  The smoking man's eyes parted ways.
  
  "What?"
  
  "...Durrrp"
  
  The derpsberry muffins seemed to have finally kicked in, as Pinhead flicked the doppleganger's head, only for him to drool. Clearly, he'd be getting no more out of him.
  
  
  
  Epilogue:
  
  
  
  Meanwhile...
  
  
  
  The gods appeared... somewhere new. It was not the expansive, golden palace they were used to, and certainly no feast was prepared. The marble floors had been replaced with moist, cream-colored carpet, and walls of solid gold had been changed into a similarly colored plaster. The elaborate candelabras were now replaced with florescent lighting, The thrones of the remaining gods had been replaced with patio chairs, labelled with black ink. The outsiders who had no thrones, such as Inqui, Bastet and Diddly, alongside any god who couldn't sit in a throne such as Arceus, was forced to sit on the floor. The high tech implements along the walls had been replaced with cheap paper maps and switches that were clearly not connected to anything. Original's clone was no where to be seen, and in place of soothing music there was only the hum of the lights. Replacing the dining table was a coffee table, with bags of potato chips and other junk food laid out on it, alongside bottles of an undetermined liquid. Above it all were no skylights or windows, making it unclear whether or not they remained on the moon, and in place of the portal, one wall in the rooms seemed to flicker and glitch, much like the portals Ocaeril generated to move about time and space. The Void Lord, meanwhile, sat upon an elegant throne opposite the gods. Granted, this throne was very, very small, enough so to be placed upon the coffee table itself, and the Void Lord had taken the shape of a bird.
  
  
  
  "BUDGET CUTS, AM I RIGHT? NO, I'M NOT. YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT. I RATE YOU ALL A 6.5 OUT OF 10 AND DEPRIVE YOU OF YOUR LUXURY. I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEHOW YOU WERE ALL DEPRIVED OF YOUR POWER AND MADE TO DO LESS THIS TIME, OH WAIT, I DID EXACTLY THAT. YEAH I'M FIXING THAT NOW, BUT YOU BETTER NOT BORE ME AGAIN, OR I'M TAKING MORE THAN JUST THE HALL. NOW, ENJOY YOUR CHIPS AND THIS PISS-COLORED HELL I MADE FOR YOU ALL OUT OF YOUR PRECIOUS FANCY DINING ROOM, AND PRAY TO WHATEVER MADE UP GODS THAT GODS BELIEVE IN THAT YOU DON'T MEET ANY OF THE SURPRISES I LEFT IN HERE. EXCEPT FOR YOU XORJU, THEY'LL LOVE YOU, YOU'RE MY NEW FAVORITE."
  
  The Void Lord somehow gave the serpentine goddess a thumbs-up with his talon, giving Baldur a nasty glare, having lost approval for the bat-majesty in favor of the goddess who bequeathed the world with demon femboys.
  
  "SO, GET TO WORK, LOSERS."
  
  The bird took flight, phasing through the ceiling as the gods felt their power return to them. Their shortened perceptions of time would remain, but they would now once again be able to preform two divine actions before having to return to the hall, or whatever was left of it at least, making them arguably more powerful than they had been before.
  
  You regain the ability to preform two actions in one turn, but now, it seems the Void Lord will hold you to a higher standard of entertainment.
  
  
• 
  
  Tiamat and Baldur:
  
  Baldur's polluted vomit caused massive ecological devastation, practically killing the fishing industry overnight and resulting in poverty and epidemic across coastal towns. Tiamat's founding of seascale and the Triton's willingness to share her shrines of purification have lessened the blow, however, and despite political tensions have widely proliferated to soften the casualties of the disaster. Wildlife has taken a heavy hit though, and the pollution is largely concentrated around the coasts of the imperial sovereignty and the elemental nations. The biome also got involved, producing algae that purifies the water.
  
  Related to this, the Konohans and Tritons formed the pact of the sea, often just shortened to The Pact, adding another player into the western dichotomy of alliances.
  
  Bastet:
  
  Cat heaven was opened up and cats began to reincarnate with their sapience intact, allowing them to form feudal clans based off of the warrior cats series.
  
  Diddly:
  
  The plan for the gathering of wizards went off with little incident, but with a slightly lower turnout than expected. Very few if any people showed up from other continents, and because of political tensions between spartycas and the sovereignty, which have been exacerbated by winter's assassinations despite a lack of proof of any connections, or that the deaths were even deliberate, almost no one showed up from them or their allies save for hedge wizards who aren't particularly nationalistic. Mung was constructed without issue as well.
  
  Ickol:
  
  To add insult to injury, people west of the mountains now believe the sovereignty to be plotting world domination and extermination of nonhumanoids.
  
  Yinqui:
  
  The throne is now effectively open for public use, but nerfed heavily, and no one has actually cracked summoning valhallan spirits. Pinhead and the Smoking Man are on the right track, however.
  
  Traxel:
  
  The Killoseum has effectively been commandeered by pirates, who have put it very much toward its intended use. It has become a massive port in the east for pirates, and fights within the arena are subject to gambling by visitors and residents. It likely has other uses as well, and admission fees are likely charged for various "War Games" played within the arena on account of its respawn system. Regarding the professional fights, though, the losers, though they respawn, often don't make it very far on account of enraged spectators who lost their bets.
  
  Xorju:
  
  The creation of the nether proceeded as planned, though the issue of ocaerillians being largely unable to survive within the dimension, on account of its heat, and properties that result in anyone moving through it for too long to transform into a blaze and wither skeleton, have largely negated any use it could have as a form of fast-travel when compared to things like the drives designed by the titanians. Contact with the natives has been established, though, they largely seem content to be left alone within their fortresses, and with no means of prolonged exposure to the dimension available to the portal-jumping cultists, they likely will be for some time now. Unmanned exploration does occur, however, thanks to the recent invention of remote control vehicles.
  
  
• 
  

  Duchess Post
  
  
  
  Hmm...I'll have to ease her into it very slowly then...
  
  "What exactly is weird about it...?" She made a show of mumbling to herself. They probably didn't hear, but it was best to act. "I was just going to have one of my servants get some blood from nearby animals..." She was actually honest there.
  
  ...
  
  "What's with the smile?" Duchess said to Orgnel, not creeped out but somewhat worried. She knew creepy smiles well, and that was a eager creepy smile.

  
  "Well I am simply elated that we'll be breaking her into Camelot so she can usurp the throne! What else would I be smiling about!?"
  
  Meanwhile, Cloneya and Karys laid awake, kept up by the enormous portrait of the duchess staring them down from the foot of the guest bed. The sentret meanwhile functioned as a makeshift neck pillow.
  
  "..."
  
  "It's like she's staring into my soul..."