Realistic or Modern We All Break Sometimes (Main)

[Elf_Ruler]

Bristol Ricci

Bristol didn’t move away when Hudson had shifted closer, she could have but she was more than comfortable with him while they sat on the swing. Their hands still interlocked, and her face couldn’t break the smile not even for a moment. Her brain hadn’t had time to understand the depth of Hudson’s words before his hand moved to her cheek and he was kissing her, it was soft but sweet. It was one of those moments that was read about in a story, and it sent butterflies soaring through Bristol’s stomach. He pulled away too soon in Bristol’s mind and she watched as he moved back giving her space to think through what just happened and she was speechless. She didn’t know how to respond to him, but she needed to, she needed to say or do something, so he knew how she felt.

Her free hand tugged on Hudson softly bringing his head back towards her letting herself press a small kiss on his lips, it didn’t last as long as his, but it was the best she could respond with. She wished she was more courageous and had the skills that he had. He had probably kissed countless girls and she had kissed one boy years ago. But Hudson’s kiss made her feel something, made her feel happy and excited. “I very much like you.” She hadn’t quite felt like this with anyone else.

Of course, her dad has spotted and made the announcement for all to read which only made her embarrassed. Of course, her new friend Juniper had commented, and Bri wasn’t one to understand if her friend was mad. But she had made the girl feel as if Hudson’s intentions were less than put, but he had reassured her and that was all she needed. She couldn’t help but tighten her hand in his, wanting to enjoy her time with him. She moved in closer letting her head rest against him, “It was nice. The kiss.” She knew she hadn’t said anything yet and though she wanted him to kiss her again she didn’t know how to ask so she decided holding hands was fine. “The timer will go off soon.” She showed Hudson her phone so he could see just how much time was left, “Can we stay here until it goes off?” she hoped he would say yes and let her accept this moment of feeling like she was in one of those movies where the girl got to be with the guy she liked.

Mention(s): Interaction(s): travelbypages

 

[travelbypages]

Calla Gilles

Calla's brows furrowed at the first time Oliver mentioned his friends passing, "really? I hadn't read anything about a passing in the town..." The girl told him and lightly rubbed his shoulder for comfort to try to get him to calm down. She was unsure of how close the two were and his behavior worried her some, "Here let me look it up." She offered and took her phone from her back pocket to check the news, not finding anything on a boy named Dustin passing. With her suspicions, she girl then moved over to the town Twitter and scrolled until she found the thread where a girl named Ashley was very obviously just saying these things to get the boy riled up.
"Oh hon, I think this girl was just kidding around..." Calla told Oliver with concern in her one. She'd seen Ashley and another girl named Ivy seemingly bully multiple people in the town, "I don't think she was being serious Oli." Calla told the young boy as Diana walked into the room with mutual concern, "I think a girl online was joking with him about his friend dying..." Calla told Diana with a frown, "do you know much about a girl named Ashley?" She asked, looking back down to her phone to do some more investigating.
The last thing she needed was for Oli to shut down when he was making so much progress, so she wanted to make sure this rumor was false and knew she'd need a way to prove it with how stubborn this unofficially adopted child was. She knew moving into a new home with new people was something to get used to, it always was, and she knew how hard death can be for some if the person was close to them or if the person was overly emotional like Oli was. Still not finding anything online, Calla looked back to Oli, "I found his family's house number... I'll give them a call." She reassured the boy, looked to Diana with a sad look, then stood as the phone began ringing.
The girl made sure it was on speaker as she lightly paced the room. When a friendly, "hello?" answered back to her call, she glanced at Oli again, "hi this is Calla Gille's calling... I'm great how are you this Thanksgiving? Awesome. I've seen a rumor online about a Dustin Thackery's passing?" The girl mentioned, wanting to keep it casual and to make it seem like she was just calling to pay respects, "I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for y'all's loss and was wondering which address to send some flowers to... Oh, he's fine? Not dead? Oh that's wonderful news!" She told them and said their goodbye's before she hung the phone up and looked to Oli with a pointed look, "come help me with the turkey before we're eating burnt crispy legs for dinner."
Mentions: Chimney Swift ALittleRedLie Qwertycakes ​

 

[travelbypages]

Hudson Green

Hudson smiled after the girl kissed initiated a quick but second kiss. The boy lifted his arm up, hands still linked, and looped it around her shoulder to pull her closer so that they could somewhat cuddle on the swing. He saw what her dad posted and honestly the guy seemed pretty cool about it. He didn't feel like he had to be afraid of an overly protective dad now. The boy sat in silence as he let her process her thoughts. The boy liked her a lot and didn't want to do or say anything that would scare her off.
Getting the message from Juniper though, like he wanted to ask if she wanted him to stay but also didn't want to freak her out. She was so timid and he was just starting to figure her out. But her words came as a shock to him, she liked him back and he couldn't help the wide smile that touched his lips, "I'm glad you like me too." He told her and when she complimented the kiss he felt his face redden some, "oh, I'm glad you liked that also... I did too." He told her and gave her shoulder a little squeeze as he pressed a kiss to her temple.
With his hand still linked with hers though his arm was around her shoulder, Hudson began to lightly push the swing back and forth again. At this moment, the boy felt at peace with something finally. He felt like he had someone who cared and someone who would be there with him to just live in the moment. Looking around the garden, he spaced out some until she spoke again and he turned his gaze back to her. She had mentioned the timer would go off soon and asked if they could stay there until it did. "Of course, we can stay as long as you want." He told her with a nod. With how close they were and how content he was with this situation, all Hudson could do was think about kissing her again.
Mentions: Elf_Ruler ​

 

[.Curious.Nat.]

Processing. . . .

outfit: here

mood: nervous

location: grandparent's

Arthur says. . . .

She was glad at least her Sobo was behaving well. She couldn't say much for her Jii-san,but that was to be expected. Arthur nodded as she knew there was a vase un the closet nearby. She was happy that she wouldn't leave him completely alone. She filled up the vase and the grandmother looked over at her husband. "Put these on the table" she said to him.

"Naze? Tabemasu ka?" He said with a roll of his eyes as he put the flower of the table. Her grandmother hit him with a towel as he walked away. "You both should wash your hands. The food is ready" she said before tugging on Niilas sleeve to bring him more down to the 5'3 woman. "Don't worry about him. He is soft teddy bear" she said before patting Niilas back.

Arthur washed her hands at the sink after her grandparents. After that Arthur gave Niila the plates so he could set them on the table. Finally when everybody was sat down the food looked like it was ready to be eaten. Arthur had been waiting all day since she doesn't get to eat her grandmother's cooking often. Even if it was something as simple as fish and rice, it still tasted just as good.

There was a small silence for prayer before eating,but Arthur was scared for after. That means her grandfather would start asking him questions and even though it is natural to do so...her grandfather thought out the box.

"So, Niila, Arthur said you are international student? When are you going back?" Arthur internally sighed at his question.Out of everything he had to ask that..





















@Myling

coded by kaninchen

 

[.Curious.Nat.]

scroll

Flower Girl

Elise

mood

Happy

outfit

outfit

location

Charlie's house

interactions

Charlie

tags

purplecowdutch

"Being Thankful"

She had just got an order in for lotus flowers. It was a special occasion and she wanted to make sure she got enough before closing the shop. There was that and then she had to curl ribbons too. The good she had put into that flower shop was more than she could count. However, it was a great feeling she couldn't describe.

She hit send in the big order and stretch in the chair.

Maybe I should be like a lotus flower. Trust in new beginnings when everything around me is not so great.. maybe that applies to Charlie..

She thought as she started to get ready to leave. Luckily the drunk had left after she gave him flowers. If he did anything else with them that was out of her control. Charlie was worried, but she just felt sympathy for the man.

As she got into her car all she could think about was Dj and then if course Charlie. Charlie seemed to fill her mind everyday. It was like all those old feelings started to bloom again and she didn't know what to do. She felt bad that Charlie had to work harder for her trust, but he did that to himself. He hurt her badly, but she knew he was trying. "I should cut him some slack.." she mingled to herself at a stop light. She knew once she told him she loved him that was going to be it. She'd be done for. She'd surrender everything for him because that's how much she cared for him. Now only if he felt the same way about her would she be content with everything life throws at her- it was a nice thought. Elise doesn't know the answer to that so she feels stuck and now has to wait. Wait for him to tell her. Wait for him not to be scared. Wait for him to only be committed to her.

Finally she parked in front of the house. She walked up to the door and began to knock three times. It was almost as if she was knocking on the walls of her heart..almost as if she was asking permission to love him completely once again.

Knock Knock knock

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[ALittleRedLie]

note: it's a little spicy, don't come for me rpn

My love, if you want someone else to touch you, leave, I won't stop you princess. Apolla steps back to give her some space, giving her a chance to stay true to her words and end it once and for all. But you're not mine Paris, you can go to anyone that you want, it doesn't have to be me.

While she says this Apolla moves back towards the shorter girl. Paris made no move to leave the bathroom and Apolla took that as a sign that they could continue whatever shitshow of a relationship they had. And she wasn't only talking about that tattooing, but the relationship that wasn't a relationship, but was. Paris pulls her closer, the two of them invading each other's space.

Apolla's hands resumes the contact with Paris's warm skin, the pads of her fingers slightly digging at the back of her thighs as sign to get her to move up onto the edge of the counter. Your skin is nice to tattoo, her voice gets softer as her face gets even closer. But I also just love touching you. There lips are barely brushing but Apolla pulls away. This seems to break the dam that existed between them, Paris's hand finds itself buried in Apolla's curly bob and their lips crash against each other.

Apolla moves instantly, her hands gripping tighter on Paris's thighs as they breathed each other in. Paris hums into her mouth after Apolla's teeth pinched her bottom lip, the sound overwhelms the tattooist. Apolla's hands run up Paris's skirt, inching up little by little as her fingers hook towards her black, lace underwear, pulling them down and letting them drop to the floor. You asked, so you shall receive. She knew her ex's body, she knew exactly how to strum Paris along until she was shuddering.

Her thumb swoops in circles and Paris sighs, her eyes remaining closed as Apolla's fingers continued moving. The short haired brunette's eyes watched her lover's face as it contorted with pleasure and her chest heaved slightly. The sight was very pleasing for Apolla and she moves her fingers faster, Paris separating to take in a deep breath, and her unraveling over Apolla's right hand. Apolla can see as everything continued building up and up within Paris and before she can finish, Apolla pulls away her hand, leaving Paris in a jumbled mess.

With a smirk on her face and an amused, lustful look to Paris. She looked beautiful, sexily falling apart under the dim blue light of the bathroom. And it was all because of Apolla. She loved seeing that sight, she missed seeing it. I'm not trying to be an asshole or anything Paris, it's just an observation, but you're always gonna run back to me. She reaches behind Paris to wash her hands, Paris is gripping the counter trying to get it together. That's just your nature.

She shakes her hands off, water droplets spraying around the room. After, she bends down to pick up the underwear and stuffing it into her back pocket. She meets eye contact with Paris, leans in and presses a soft little kiss, like a parting. Now clean yourself up. My sister's picking me up in a few and I have to finish Odette's tattoo.

Without saying anything else further Apolla leaves the bathroom, closing the door silently behind her as if to give her ex some privacy. With a smirk on her face and a slight swagger in her step, Apolla makes her way back to her client, like nothing happened.

mood: indifferent; focused; angry; a little jealous; sexual

location: Tattoo Shop

outfit

playing:
Good In Bed

by:
Dua Lipa

mentions: N/A

interactions: Paris

tags: travelbypages

º º code by ditto º º

 

[travelbypages]

Paris Goulding

Paris narrowed her eyes at the girl who was telling her to go. She wanted to, she wanted to be with someone who could love her for all of her but the connection she had with Apolla was too strong. She didn't want Apolla to tell her to go, she wanted Apolla to beg her to stay and them be together, love each other. So instead of taking the opportunity to leave like Apolla was giving her the chance to, she stayed put. She knew this move was weak, making her be the exact person Apolla made her out to be... The weak girl who couldn't stay away... This simple of of not leaving made her feel pathetic and stupid... But it was just the affect that Apolla had on her.
When Apolla came back into her space Paris moved one of her hands to Apolla's hip, her fingers slipping under the girls shirt to run along the girls smooth stomach, to her ribs, and up. When Apolla moved Paris onto the counter, Paris parted her legs some so the other girl could comfortably stand between them. This time when she spoke Paris didn't feel anger, only need and want for the girl who had been torturing her for years. She didn't know what was so fucked up in her brain to stay with Apolla like this and she wanted to say something mean or vile the same way Apolla speaks to her, but all that she could muster up was a quiet, "I need you." as she quickly moved her free hand to Apolla's hair and crash her lips to the other girls.
It didn't take long for the kiss to become quick and needy, their tongues dancing together between little sucks and bites of passion. Her brain was screaming at her to stop and walk away but her heart was winning this internal battle. The higher Apolla's hands moved, the sharper her nails dug into the girls ribs. Paris knew what was happening when Apolla's lips left hers to speak more sexy words and kneel down in front of her. With her hands on the counter, her head tilted back some as Apolla knew exactly what to do until Paris crumbled. Sometimes it was like this between them, angry, quick, passionate and for some reason Paris fell for it every time.
She hadn't known how loud she had been or how long they'd been in the bathroom for but she did know this is the part where Apolla would become distant as the other girl stood from the floor. Of course her words hurt but Paris' brain was too scrambled from the moment to comprehend them fully, "you're like trying to kick a cigarette habit..." She said as she straightened out her outfit, somewhat embarrassed as Apolla washed her hands then stuffed the underwear into her pocket. With some surprise from the parting kiss, Paris did her best to not seem hurt by Apolla mentioning Odette, "okay..." She said quietly and climbed off the counter. She wanted to ask Apolla to text her or make plans with her but Paris knew requests like those were a stretch.
When Apolla was gone, Paris turned to wet some paper towel and blot her rosy face with it. After making sure she looked fine, she very quickly left the studio while also avoiding all eye contact with anyone in there. When she arrived back to Tallulah's she instantly rushed to the washroom to shower herself and change her clothes. She didn't want anyone to know what she did or be ashamed of her for it. She'd gone to the studio to break it off with Apolla, end things for good... But it seemed like they'd done the quite opposite. The guilt and sadness that sat on her chest made the girl feel emotional and broken. When she exited the bathroom she looked for Tallulah in the house. She wanted to get everything off her chest, confess the bad thing she'd done, but she was just to ashamed to so instead she asked Tallulah in a quiet and raspy tone, "you got any tea here?"
Mentions: PenguinFox ALittleRedLie ​

 

[ALittleRedLie]

Donna wanted to say something to her aunt in Korean, but stops herself when she remembers that Milo spoke Korean to. She had spilled some parts of her dilemma to her aunt. Her aunt was pretty straightforward, telling it how it was. It turned off a lot of people, but Donna (dueto being the same way) appreciated the honesty. Milo, I'm actually doing something with my aunt today, it is Thanksgiving. Donna tries to play it off like the truth, but her faltering smile would obviously let Milo see the truth

Ga-yoon proposed that Donna face the situation with Milo head on, talk to him and figure out why she thought the feelings she had were so complicated, even though they weren't. So Yoonie watched the exchange between her niece and the tall boy with much intrigue. Go Dondon, it's not like we had plans anyways. Yoonie waves Donna off, much to the young girl's annoyance. Yoonie was being like this on purpose. It's nice meeting you Milo, you two have fun. Yoonie smiles, before turning back to her and giving stern glare. It was like she was telling Donna to fix the mess before it became unfixable.

When Donna passes Milo at the threshold of the door it's like time slows down. She hadn't been that close to him since their little date at the petting zoo. She could smell his cologne and she just wanted to inhale him in, bring him close and keep him there, btu she continues moving. The heiress steps out into the sun, her hands folding across her chest as she continues moving down the front steps of her house. She hears Milo's steps behind her and it causes for her to only get more nervous, the butterflies in her stomach having their wings pulled from their bodies.

When he says her name, it almost pulls a smile to her face. She missed that too. She slowly faces him, looking up at him with a bit of regret and fondness. And just like him, she holds his eye contact.

She didn't know if she wanted to answer his question truthfully, because she knew what it was. His question only makes her grimace and feel more guilt, for her just abandoning him. He didn't deserve that, he was only ever good to her. You deserve someone better Milo. She whispers, finally pulling her eyes away from him because she might've started crying, and Donna didn't cry in front of other people and that was going to change because it was Milo.

You don't need me.

mood: anxious; confused; conflicted

location: Home

outfit

playing:
Cuz I Love You

by:
Lizzo

mentions: N/A

interactions: Milo

tags: .Curious.Nat.

º º code by ditto º º

 

[.Curious.Nat.]

/* ------ left side ------ */

/* ------ left side info ------ */

mood nervous


location Donna's place


outfit outfit


fun fact Milo is a sucker for kids despite all his tattoos.







tag ALittleRedLie

Milo Brooks

/* ------ right side ------ */

"You deserve someone better Milo


You don't need me"


What the fuck is she talking about?


It took everything in him to calm down,but it was hard. He kept looking at her. His hands ran through his dark hair while sighed- slightly laughing out of him being surprised. "I feel like you really don't understand. Not one bit" he told her.

"How are you going to decide that for me? I waited for weeks with only you in my head for you to say that?" He questioned her.


He couldn't even process his thoughts because they were running wild. He hasn't seen her in awhile, heard her voice. He felt that if he didn't tell her what's on his mind now he might not have another chance to. He couldn't have that.


"You're right" he started by saying,contemplating on stepping closer to her,but doing it anyway. His body was now closer to her. "I don't need you. I don't need a lot of things. I want.-God damn it Donna I want you! Can't you see that?? The only reason I went with that girl was because you told me to. I didn't want her. I never did. How could I when you are all I think about? Then you go over and block me. Hurt the shit out of me for weeks. I-I honestly don't know what more I could say to get you to understand.." he sighed slowly taking her hand and squeezing it gently.


"If you don't want me that's one thing. If you tell me that or you don't want me in your life then you won't hear from me anymore..but I need you to tell me something Donna..anything. please."


He wasn't desperate,but he only had a little hope left. He didn't want to lose her. However he didn't want to force her to do anything she didn't want to do. If she really didn't want him he would go. It would be hard as fuck..he would do it for her. For his Dove.

/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.

 

[Myling]

MOOD: Still nervous + uncomfortable

OUTFIT: Outfit

LOCATION: at Arthur’s grandparents

basics

MENTIONS:
None

INT:
.Curious.Nat.

tags

TL;DR Niila is meeting Arthur’s grandparents for the first time

tl;dr

Niila Ahonen

"I will vanish away if I don't get 100 % of your love."

Luckily for Niila, Arthur didn’t disappear too far away to go get the vase. She filled up the vase with water and the flowers. Her grandmother looked over at her husband asking him to put them on the table. The old man answered something in Japanese and Niila could only guess what it was. The man rolled his eyes as he put the flowers on the table. The way Arthur’s grandpa was acting made Niila a little annoyed but he tried his best to act as friendly and polite as he could. In a sense it was understandable, the man was probably just overprotective of his granddaughter.

But Niila was happy the grandma was acting in a more easy-to-approach way. "You both should wash your hands. The food is ready." She said with a friendly smile and Niila nodded trying to match his smile to hers. Soon she tugged on the boy’s sleeve bringing him more down to the shorter woman. "Don't worry about him. He is a soft teddy bear." She said before patting his back. Teddy bear? I didn’t know teddy bears are that cranky, Niila commented in his mind but instead of saying anything out loud, he just nodded.

Niila washed his hands at the sink after Arthur and her grandparents. After that she gave the plates to her boyfriend so he could set them on the table. Finally everybody was sitting around the table and the food could be eaten. The food looked quite simply yet extremely delicious, and Niila couldn’t wait to eat it. He had heard Arthur complimenting her grandma’s cooking and Niila wanted to know just how good they were. There was a small silence for prayer before eating. Niila was prepared to get asked questions, but what the older man would say next, was something he had not expected.

"So, Niila, Arthur said you are an international student? When are you going back?" The man’s question hit Niila like a great punch. Niila eventually needing to leave back to Finland was something that loomed behind his and Arthur’s relationship. They both knew it was the necessary evil that would happen, but it was something they tended to brush over and instead focus on the present. He couldn’t say anything but the truth, the horrible, horrible truth. “I will go back to Finland in half a year.” He said not able to face Arthur.

There was a moment of silence before Niila opened his mouth again. “However, I’m planning on coming back there. I still have a year left in upper secondary school, but after that I will do my everything to get back here, back to Arthur.” Niila said with determination in his voice. It wasn’t something he had told Arthur before and this wasn’t how he had planned to bring it up. But maybe it was just good to get this conversation out. “Perhaps I will try to apply to a college here or get a work visa. I don’t know yet, but I know I need to get back.”

Niila continued, his gaze locked down on his own hands. Then he raised his head and faced the elderly man with a serious face. “And I know I can’t ask Arthur to wait for me for a whole year. If she finds happiness with someone else during that time, she totally deserves it and I would be happy for her. But if she’s still alone and willing to take me back, that would mean the world for me.”

code by valen t.

 

[.Curious.Nat.]

Processing. . . .

outfit: here

mood: nervous

location: grandparent's

Arthur says. . . .

Arthur was suprised,but then again she knew the answer to the question. He would be leaving soon. She knew that. She knew her lover would leave her,bit they hadn't sat down and talked about the whole situation yet. So when Niila had said he was leaving,but coming back. Leaving,but wanting her to wait for him- ultimately to be happy even if it's not with him.

She wanted to cry, not of sadness, but mainly happiness. Niila lived her so much he was willing to come back to her no matter what. Her eyes never left his profile. Her face flushed and eyes glossy she almost forgot how to breathe.

Her Jii-san stared at Niila with his normal, stern expression. "Have you had another relationship? You're young. How do you know things won't change? Arthur will be happy and I'll make sure of it"

Her Sobo then went on to hit Jii-san in the arm. "Shitsureina koto o yame nasai"

Arthur had tried not to focus on him much. She wanted to be there to support Niila,but what he said was uncalled for.

"Jii-san I don't think that matters-"

"Of course it does! You're important and if he wants to be in your life then he will have to prove it. Words mean nothing" Jii-san said and then sighed while grabbing fish with his chopsticks.

"As long as he proves it then he is okay."



















@Myling

coded by kaninchen

 

[Chimney Swift]

MOOD: heartbroken

OUTFIT: Fall Flannels

LOCATION: The Berkowitz Residence

basics

MENTIONS:
Chance ALittleRedLie

INT:
Ronan Myling

tags

TL;DR

tl;dr

Max Berkowitz

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Max’s blood ran cold. If only for a moment, he was sure his heart had stopped.

“No. No, Ronan, don’t leave me–” He started to beg, out of the mindless desperation to keep his friend, only to clench his fists to stop himself and bring them to his face, covering his mouth as if that would keep Ronan from seeing that he was starting to choke on his tears.

Max didn’t deserve to cry about this.
He did this. Every time he said no, every time he pulled away, every time he was too afraid, he did this. He forced Ronan into this every time he denied his sexuality, every time he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth, every time he swallowed back and ignored his burning feelings for Chance. He left Ronan with no other choice but to cheat.

He couldn’t even bring himself to feel properly hurt by this. Being cheated on was supposed to sting, wasn’t it? He was supposed to feel angry, or jealous, or mortified… instead he felt ugly. Stupid. So boring and pathetic and unattractive that Ronan had to go back to his abuser to fulfill the needs that Max failed to satisfy. In an instant, all of the demeaning and self-flagellating words his therapist had banned from his vocabulary flooded back into his head, and that was all he could think.

And just then, just at those few words Ronan had said, Max was hit with the full realization of how utterly worthless he was. His week at the hospital, his time in therapy, all of those lessons he had learned were shredded like paper and he was left with nothing but empty self-loathing.

This was his fault. He did this.

How stupid he was to think he could ever be what Ronan needed. He should’ve known he would only make things worse. How dare he think he could ever help Ronan, and how dare he think he would ever be good enough for anyone. All he ever did was ruin things for everyone and get left standing back and watching as all of his friends gave up and left.

“I’m sorry.” The single word brushed over his chest, feeling nothing but the aching pain and knowing that his words wouldn’t heal the wounds he had already opened. “I’m so sorry.”
That was all he could say. All he could be in this moment was sorry.

code by valen t.

 

[Chimney Swift]

MOOD: frazzled

OUTFIT: xxx

LOCATION: The Gilles Residence.

basics

MENTIONS:
Ashley tamarapasek
Dustin Qwertycakes

INT:
Calla travelbypages
Diana ALittleRedLie

tags

TL;DR ...

tl;dr

Oliver Dreyfuss

How lonely it is, to be drowning in a place where everyone can swim

Oliver stared blankly back at Calla as she finished her call to the Thackery’s house, saying nothing. He just looked at her as though he’d just been asked to solve a quadratic equation in his head.
He was far too confused to even be properly relieved.

So Dustin wasn’t dead after all, which was wonderful news, but slightly less wonderful was the following realization that Ashley would lie to him about something of this magnitude. It had never even occurred to him that people would lie about someone being dead who wasn’t actually dead.
He didn’t know yet whether or not he was angry or hurt or just disappointed, but he felt something. Something about this made him a little nauseous.

Oliver had learned a lot about jokes over the past year or so, and had even recently gotten to the point of being able to improvise his own puns and one-liners at times. Puns and plays on words he understood just fine. Spreading blatantly falsified information was a kind of joke he had yet to understand or find funny.

Calla still wanted him to help her move the turkey from the oven, and she asked him again to come assist, a bit more pointedly… Though he was taken aback by the sudden transition back to this topic, and still very shaken by the emotional whiplash of thinking his friend was dead for a few hours, Oliver untangled himself from the couch and slinked off after Calla. Before he left the living room, he paused in the doorway and looked back at Diana, wordlessly asking her to come along too.

code by valen t.

 

[Myling]

MOOD: Confused, guilty, disappointed in himself



OUTFIT: outfit



LOCATION: at Berkowitz’s

basics

MENTIONS:
none


INT:
Max Chimney Swift







--------don't type anything after this comment--------







[/COMMENT]

tags

TL;DR Ronan finally confessed about the cheating to Max.

tl;dr

Ronan Chanthara

"You’re in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, and to make good memories. Not to constantly be upset, to feel hurt, and to cry."

Ronan took his backpack and started to fill it with his belongings he had left in the other boy’s room. He was still crying as he kept packing, his vision blurred by the tears but despite that he kept avoiding looking Max at the eyes. When Ronan finally bringed himself to look at his boyfriend, he regretted the decision immediately. Despite Max covering his face, it was clear he was crying. It felt bad to see him like that but it was expected. What he would say next, however, made Ronan just extremely confused.

“No. No, Ronan, don’t leave me–” He started to beg, voice full of despair. For a second Ronan stopped everything he was doing and just stared at the other boy. “What?” He said utterly confused. Why was Max begging him to not leave? Shouldn’t it be the opposite? The confusion Ronan was feeling had made his tears stop for a moment. “Did I sign it wrongly?” He mumbled more to himself than to Max.

Somehow this reaction hurt more than if Max was angry at him. But maybe Ronan didn’t deserve to feel hurt. Maybe the utter disgust and guilt he was feeling was something he deserved to feel. Max’s anger was something Ronan deserved too, so why wasn't he getting it went over his head. In his previous relationship Ronan was used to dealing with the consequences of his wrongdoings. Ronan took a deep breath and continued filling his backpack.

Being treated with such a softness after he had done something so horrible, was definitely worse than getting screamed at by someone he cared for so strongly. Every cry Max let out, every sorry he kept signing, felt like someone was swirling a knife in his heart. It hurt. It hurt so bad. It made the self-disgust and guilt grow even bigger in Ronan. He deserved all the negative emotions he was going through, but it really was difficult to deal with them.

“Why are you saying you’re sorry? You should be angry at me instead.” Ronan said as he felt the urge to cry again. He tried to keep his calm as he kept signing the words to his best abilities. “I’m a disgusting human being, I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve the kindness you have shown me.” Ronan’s voice cracked again a bit as if he was going to cry again, but this time he managed to hold the tears in.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. But it’s better for me to leave.” Ronan continued and holding in the tears started to become more and more difficult. If Ronan had thought that confessing would be cleansing and make him feel better, he was wrong. Totally wrong. Seeing Max like that made him just more aware how badly he had messed up things. The guilt and self-disgust in him was no bigger than ever.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Ronan apologized both verbally and via ASL for the last time before he took his belongings and left the room. As Ronan closed the door behind him, he was once again faced with Dr. Berkowitz. The man was holding a tray of lemonade and some sandwiches. Wait… did this mean the man had heard their conversation? Ronan didn’t dare to face the man. Instead he started quickly walking towards the front door.

The sign of the man didn’t hurt as much as Max’s crying face, but it wasn’t painless either. Dr. Berkowitz was one of the only safe adults in Ronan’s life, and the fact that he couldn’t go to him with his worries in the future was hurtful. But the boy knew he couldn’t face him anymore, not after what he had done to his son. Ronan wanted to apologize for him too but the words got caught in his throat.

The Berkowitzes had given him so much and what had he given in return? Nothing but pain and sorrows. Removing himself from their lives was the only good thing Ronan could do now. He really didn’t want to do it but he had no choice. It was difficult and it made Ronan cry again. He opened the door of the building that had been like a second home for him. He opened the door and started to walk away. Away from their lives.

code by valen t.

 

[Elf_Ruler]

Carson Hughes

Holidays were the absolute worst when family didn’t exist. Holidays were nothing but a reminder about how alone one was in the world and why everything in life was fleeting and full of bullshit. Carson had already woken up on the wrong side of the bed knowing that both Sydney and Mildred would be away with family leaving her to her own devices and survival skills. Today, though was different because everyone was spending time with loved ones or with family eating good meals and Carson was staring at the new oven Mildred had purchased and every button, she hit still wouldn’t convince the contraption to pre-heat so she could at least attempt to follow the directions left for her. In her desperation she had contacted probably the only other person she knew had no family, Ivy. The gremlin who couldn’t seem to stay out of the foster system but much like Carson had no real biological family to call her own.

So far the only food Carson had figured out was one steamed microwave bag of broccoli before she heard the door open and the loud voice of the chaotic human, “I hope you like broccoli because that’s all I’ve figured out.” It wasn’t like Carson couldn’t ask Buffy or even Alexei to bring food, but her pride was too great to cave yet and let them bring her food. She had to at least try to cook before she completely gave up.

She handed Ivy the reigns to the oven while she went back to the fridge and pantry to grab out the ingredients listed on the recipes that had been set out along the counter. The kitchen looked like a frenzied mess but at least Carson was going to try and make this at least one good holiday if not for her then for Ivy. Not that she would let the girl know that she was trying to put in extra effort so at least Ivy could have one holiday to look back on fondly even if Carson almost poisoned them with her terrible cooking. She wanted Ivy there, “You can work on the oven issue, and as for the recipes, I’ll figure them out. I think we can make a semi decent feast if we try. Or we can make a frozen pizza.” At this point Carson wouldn’t be opposed to a frozen pizza and a comfort movie and then eat ice cream on the couch. She didn’t mind letting Ivy spend the night in a place that had multiple soft beds, “You can also take Sydney’s room for the night if you don’t need to be anywhere. Call it a thank you for helping me deal with this poor attempt at cooking.”


Mention(s): Interaction(s): Chimney Swift

 

[Elf_Ruler]

Bristol Ricci

In these moment Bri couldn’t help but feel giddy and ecstatic because she had never thought anyone could treat her like this or even want to spend time with her in her quiet times. Accepting that she wasn’t the best at openly talking but letting her figure things out as the friendship progressed. Now, the next thing she had to do was figure out how to be more open with Hudson. Her hand was still in his and she could feel her hand getting sweaty, and she wondered if he could feel it too? What if he thought it was gross? But instead, she felt as he kissed her on her head. How was he so comfortable with her? Had he been this way with others? Juni’s words began to seep into Bristol’s mind, and she struggled to find the words to fully speak out what was going through her mind.

A sigh escaped her lips, and she knew she would have to explain something, but her brain felt frozen with the thoughts running through it. She couldn’t expect him to explain how come he was better at this than her. She didn’t want to hear about it because even though she didn’t care about his past she cared that he seemed to be far better at this than her and yet he acted like she was perfect. She knew she wasn’t, “Juni wants me to ask you to stay. I don’t think I’m ready for that.” She paused, “I enjoy you; I do not find it wise to have you stay late.” She wished she was better at saying that she was scared of having him stay over, she wasn’t ready for him to see her dressed in her pjs, hair in a messy bun, with a face mask. She wanted to enjoy letting herself relax. She hadn’t quite figured out how to relax around him even if she had tried to convince herself she could.

Before her alarm could go off, “I would not mind if you…” her words tapered off because she wanted for him to kiss her again, but she didn’t want him to think that was all she wanted, “Never mind.” She knew it wasn’t stupid, but it was selfish, and she never wanted to be seen as selfish to anyone. So instead, she swallowed her fear and let her hand move to his cheek to guide his face back to hers. If he didn’t want it, she would understand. His lips were so soft on hers and it made her heart race, but she didn’t want it to stop.

Mention(s): Interaction(s): travelbypages

 

[Myling]

MOOD: Still nervous + uncomfortable

OUTFIT: Outfit

LOCATION: at Arthur’s grandparents

basics

MENTIONS:
None

INT:
.Curious.Nat.

tags

TL;DR Niila is meeting Arthur’s grandparents for the first time.

tl;dr

Niila Ahonen

"I will vanish away if I don't get 100 % of your love."

There was a short moment when no questions got asked, so Niila took it as an opportunity to take a glance over his girlfriend. He wanted to know her reaction to his talk about wanting to go back to her after he would be finished with his studies. Her face had flushed into a light shade of red and her eyes were glossy. Has he made Arthur feel like crying with his talk? Niila hoped they were happy cries and not sad ones. He tried to give her a reassuring “it’ll be alright” kind of smile as he secretly joined their hands under the table.

Then Niila turned his gaze back to the old man who was staring at him with a stern expression. He was back with them questions. The boy had expected to get questions about his family like his roots and what his parents were doing. He had expected to be questioned about him being an exchange student and how that would influence his and Arthur’s relationship. But he hadn’t expected this. This was more like an interrogation.

"Have you had another relationship? You're young. How do you know things won't change? Arthur will be happy and I'll make sure of it." The man spitted out the questions and was immediately hit to the arm by his wife. She said something in Japanese, and even when NIila didn’t understand the language, he could guess she was shushing her husband. “No, it’s fine. I was prepared to get asked questions.” Niila said firmly.

He knew he needed to let the man know he was worthy of his granddaughter, but Niila didn’t yet know how. Just when the boy was going to continue talking, he got interrupted with his girlfriend. "Jii-san I don't think that matters-" Arthur started but she couldn’t finish her sentence when the old man started speaking again. "Of course it does! You're important and if he wants to be in your life then he will have to prove it. Words mean nothing." Arthur’s grandpa exclaimed while sighing and then processed to continue eating.

"As long as he proves it then he is okay." The man continued and Niila had to take a deep breath to lessen his annoyance. In a way he could see the man’s point. Arthur deserved someone who was good to her. It was clear the man loved his granddaughter dearly and wouldn’t just believe in a stranger's words. However the whole situation made Niila frustrated because it felt like no matter what he did or said wouldn’t change the man’s attitude. “No, I haven’t had previous relationships. Arthur is my first girlfriend.” He simply admitted.

“I know I’m young and perhaps I don’t know a shi… a thing about love…” Niila continued, then he took a small break before talking again. “Before her I thought there was something wrong with me. I never showed interest in anyone, didn’t have crushes or anything. I thought I was unable to love. But then I met Arthur and it was like my whole world changed. It almost felt like for my whole life I only saw black and white and now colors started to appear.”

“I understand you care for Arthur and want the best for her. I also understand it’s hard to believe a stranger’s words. But please just give me an opportunity and I will prove I can make her happy.” Niila finally stopped his speech and faced the man with a serious gaze full of determination.

code by valen t.

 

[travelbypages]

Hudson Green

Hudson's suspicions were confirmed when Bri mentioned Juni and he sighed some, "Bri, I really like you and I've enjoyed getting to know you." He told her, shifting some so that he was facing her, "I don't want you to feel pressured by anything when it comes to us seeing what this is or where it will lead... Okay?" He asked her sweetly. "I'll need help from you on this too, don't be afraid to be open with me, tell me how you're feeling." He said with a soft smile to hopefully comfort her. "I'm... not the best at reading people unless they tell me, I'm not good at processing emotions." He told her with a slight shrug, "if you don't want me to stay over, I'm cool with that, the last thing I want is to freak you out in any way and ruin what we have."
When she started to speak again, the boy waited patiently, just happy she was trying to communicate with him. When the words didn't come out and she was instead pulling his face toward hers he couldn't help but chuckle a little before their lips met. She would never have to ask for this because he would always happily oblige. Keeping his arms around her, he let himself enjoy the kiss and decided that if she wanted it to end that would be her choice because he could kiss her for hours. Eventually when they pulled away he smiled, "if you're being shy with me, enjoyable things like that can't happen as often." He said with a wink and stood from the swing, easily pulling her up with him.
Facing her for a moment, he let his hand rest on both sides of her face, his fingers somewhat tangled in her hair, "but I'll be happy to do that whenever you want." He told her and gave her a light kiss then dropped his hands, taking one of hers in his to take her inside the house. He awkwardly avoided eye contact with her dad as he helped her with the turkey, "do you want me to help with anything else?" He asked. If they hadn't been around her dad he would be hugging her or have his arm around her but the boy was doing his best to be respectful around the older man.
Mentions: Elf_Ruler ​

 

[Elf_Ruler]

Bristol Ricci

Bri was someone of few words when it came to anything outside of the ordinary and Hudson was absolutely out of the ordinary for her, but he seemed as if he was willing to take things at her pace and was willing to figure out what they were or weren’t. It was something so new, that it made Bri’s head spin with all the differing thoughts. Of course, she couldn’t help but feel her face heat up when Hudson had winked at her, she was not like this, well she was but it was different. The attention was different, and it made her feel more vulnerable than normal something she would have to figure out, something she would have to learn to handle as she progressed in understanding herself. This was the year for her to slowly figure out what she wanted from life and what she could also offer in life.

Once inside she was relieved that Hudson and her dad were helping her retrieve the turkey from the oven and getting ready to cut it so she could begin to set the table. It was rare for her to ever have a third place at the table and for the most part she had been used to the two placements at the table, but somehow, she felt a sense of loss almost for the fact that since she had been gone her dad had only had his spot at the table. So, she stared at the last plate as she set it down, “You okay, Bristol?” her dad called over to her. Her head turned to look at the boys and she placed a small smile on her face and nodded. Her dad was okay, he wasn’t lonely, right?

It seemed like both males didn’t fully believe her, “We can bring the food to the center of the table.” She wanted to change the subject of whatever wanted to be discussed and move to the food. As food was placed in the center everyone began to take their seats. Her father sat at his normal spot and then looked towards Hudson, “Every year Bristol and I say what we are thankful for. Would you like to join this year? I’m grateful to be spending the holiday with family and a friend while still in good health” Bristol had forgotten to think about what she was thankful for, but her dad just looked at her, “I’m thankful to have a great dad, that can’t cook turkey and I’m grateful that I have an opportunity to figure out who I want to be without pressure from you because you want me to be happy.” Her dad smiled at her. The bond was strong for them as Bristol had never been able to rely on anyone else but him throughout everything. Her dad had never left her, and he never would and so she was always thankful to have him. She was thankful for Hudson but that was too much for her to say, so she didn’t. She hoped he didn’t feel put on the spot by her father’s request but it was something they did that had somehow kept them grounded to enjoying what life could offer.

Mention(s): Interaction(s): travelbypages

 

[r e i]

Blu

the faker

Blu never thought she would be here. On Del's couch as her girlfriend, as her partner, as a kinda mom to Ever. She always thought that she would be alone on thanksgiving, like all these years but Del just dragged her in the house without question. She smiled at her girlfriend as she worked in the kitchen she made their dinner. She was promptly kicked out to watch Ever, and entertain the young toddler, and it wasn't her beautiful girlfriend who kicked her out, it was the little toddler's own request...and dragging. She looked at Ever as she stood up and grabbed her guitar. For a while, she's been working on this song..that she was writing which seemed to be about a certain young mother. She looked at Ever. "Come here, little one. I wanna show you something." She said softly as she picked up the young child and placed her on her lap putting the guitar on her lap with Ever "You are gonna help me finish this song, that I've been writing"

"Now put your fingers there and there," She said as she moved her fingers to the right chord. Blu then started to hum as she and ever started to strum the melody. She smiled as the little one giggled as they played together. This was nothing short of a dream. She was in awe of the little girl as she played along with her, nodding along to her humming. Blu didn't want to sing the song as it wasn't as good as she wanted it but she wanted to at least finish it so she might sell it to other artists. She actually has written a lot of songs and was offered the job of a songwriter when she was singing one night at one of her gigs. She made pretty good money off of it. The only thing she had requested is that she would be a silent songwriter, she didn't even want the credit. She wanted her peaceful life and this way she had it. This song was also a bit cheesy so she didn't want Delia to hear it but then..

Everleigh requested it and she didn't have the heart to deny her so she started to sing softly as they played together.

"I'm weak enough to recognize
That this is the first time love has caught me by surprise
And it's been years, my dear
Since I have missed someone
Like I miss you."

She sings softly not noticing the new person in the room. "It's really bad Evers...that line was so bad. " She mumbles as she ends the first course. She wanted perfection.

And this song wasn't to her standards.


[

della apartment

embaressed.

blu xxx

travelbypages

coded by natasha.

 

[travelbypages]

Dan Stark

In the moment with the windows rolled down and the music blaring from his beat up old car, driving down the highway a little faster than he should be, Dan felt free. Without his parents being drunk and yelling at him, or his siblings being in every space he tried to escape to, Dan felt the weight of his struggles leaving his shoulders the farther he drove from the city. Dan had been in Anchor Bay before, though under not great circumstances. His friendship with Max was developed during Max's first visit where Dan would show him little sneaky tricks to make the ward feel less unbearable. This trip would be the first time being in AB for something not horrible.
Catching a glimpse at the ocean, Dan pulled over to the side of the road and snapped a photo to show Max, hoping his excitement about finally getting to see the ocean wasn't to embarrassing. Being too excited, Dan didn't stay long before he continued his journey. Dan had only ever seen Anchor Bay from the back seat of his parents car so he took his time to admire the town as he made his way to Max's house. Stopping at a little coffee shop he bought the both of them a coffee and a cookie then finished the drive to Max's house.
Admittedly, he was a little taken back by how nice it was. His place in the city was in a run down 3 bedroom apartment that him, his parents, and his 5 other siblings had to share. The life Max had made him a little jealous but he wouldn't let that affect their friendship. With the tray of coffee's and his backpack, Dan went to the front door and knocked. He was greeted by a sweet looking woman and the smell of yummy food flowed from the house. "Hi, I'm Dan." He told her though he was sure Max would've talked about him. Once inside and being shown around the house, Dan lightly knocked on Max's door before he let himself inside. Instantly he could tell Max was upset but didn't pry.
Struggling with what little ASL he had learned, Dan gave the boy a, "hello." Moving over to the bed, Dan sat down beside Max and offered over the coffee and a cookie, "I like the shops here." He told Max, speaking clearly, "I got you one." Setting them on the nightstand he took a sip of his own then took a bite from the cookie, "if you don't want to tell me what's wrong, I'm okay with that. If you do want to talk you know I'm all ears." He said lastly before taking another bite of the cookie as he waited for Max's response.
Mentions: Chimney Swift ​

 

[travelbypages]

Hudson Green

Hudson noticed Bristol's sad look but chose not to pry her about it as he helped set the food on the table. The boy chose to take the spot next to Bristol. All he wanted was to be with her all the time. He had his eyes on her when her dad mentioned saying what they were thankful for and Hudson felt his mood shift some. Sure his family had money and he was healthy, but he genuinely couldn't think of something he was thankful for that wouldn't embarrass him in front of her dad. Plus, he'd failed a lot this year and there was a lot more to be disappointed about than thankful for.
When Hudson's turn came around, he stared down at the empty plate, letting his mind ruffle through what he would be thankful for, "I- uhm.. I guess for this friendship with Bri? And maybe the students I get to teach surfing to..." He told them both. He was a little embarrassed that he couldn't think of anything better but he gave a small smile anyway. When he was finished with his food he took the plate to the sink and cleaned it off. He was enjoying himself despite not being able to think of anything thankful for. Sure he adored his family, but thanks to his sister and Maggie, Thanksgiving over there would've been unbearable.
Going back to the table he sat down beside Bri again and looked at her father, "so did you work with my dad at all?" Hudson asked. He heard his father mention Bri's dad a few times when it came to court cases and stuff before, and of course him and Bri went to the same school so he knew of both of them, Hudson just wanted to make conversation, hoped her dad would like him. He wanted to date Bri but the boy was too shy about true relationships to ask her just yet. She deserved more than a quick kiss and an awkward asking for a date while her dad was around.
Mentions: Elf_Ruler ​

 

[.Curious.Nat.]

Processing. . . .

outfit: here

mood: nervous+determined

location: grandparent's

Arthur says. . . .

Arthur squeezed Niilas hand under the table. It was the only thing that calmed her down.

She understood where her Jii-san was coming from. However, this seemed to not be the time or place for those questions. She felt like they were too straight forward. Niila was surprising her with his answers. Not because they were out the blue and she wasn't expecting them. It was how he was talking and looking at her grandfather. He looked so determined and focused. She hadn't seen him like this in awhile.

Jii-san seemed to stop talking, considering the boys words. Considered how much truth was behind them or if he was one to just say sweet things,take what he wants, and leaves.

His attention turned from Niila to Arthur in that moment. "Arthur. You like him? You want to be with him even with uncertainty in the future? That would make you happy?" He asked her. Arthur didn't even hesitate. She opened her mouth automatically and looked at her grandfather that seemed not to understand yet.

"Jii-san, I love this man next to me. I love Niila so much and he makes me happy. Being with him makes me feel better than I evenly have. I understand your worries,but I am fine. I'm fine with those uncertainties because I want to go through them with Niila. I want to wait for him and I want to be with him and I want to be with him for a long time. I'm just hoping that you see how great of a guy he is sooner rather than later-" she said with no shake to her voice.

She then bowed her head to her grandfather slightly. "Please have an open mind Jii-san and accept that we are doing our best" she said.

It seemed her grandfather was stunned, even her Sobo couldn't say anything.

"Okay. I see. Let's start eating before the food gets cold" her Sobo said. The tension seemed to be lifted and the food practically melted in Arthur's mouth.

Now it was time for her Sobo to ask the general questions. What was he going to school for? What his family thought of the exchange program? How close is he with his family and culture? The general questions. Arthur was happy her grandmother was there.


















@Myling

coded by kaninchen

 

[travelbypages]

Della Bressett

Della hadn't had a normal Thanksgiving in years. Elliot had always either been deployed or they were fighting too badly to cook a meal that wasn't frozen. Della loved to cook, all she ever had time for was experimenting with different recipes and flavors. Though there were only two adults and a toddler, Della seemed to be cooking a feast for an army. With the turkey in the oven, a bunch of different salads, fresh buns, a homemade pie, and few dino nuggets, Della was getting close to being done as she sipped her wine and hummed a tune to herself. She had tasked Blu to keep the little monster at bay.
A little annoyed from the Thanksgiving party going on above them, Della had seriously been contemplating moving out of the basement suite. When it wasn't quiet, the new tenants upstairs always had people over for something and in a way it kinda disrupted her peace. She was about to pour herself more wine when she heard Blu humming a tune in the living room. Peaking around the cupboard, Della leaned against the kitchen counter, watching them. Maybe she wanted to move somewhere with Blu? She enjoyed the girls company, they only argued over little things like who does the dishes or who gets to cuddle Everleigh, and Blu was always over anyway. Biting her lip she contemplated this. She could afford a bigger place even if Blu didn't want to. But Della knew she wanted to be with Blu all the time.
Pushing herself off the counter, Della made her way to sit beside Blu and lightly placed her hand on the girls knee as she listened to Everleigh try to mimic Blu's singing. Of course if Blu had been singing anything Disney, Everleigh would know all the words. Resting her chin on Blu's shoulder she lightly ran her fingers along Blu's arm, "it's beautiful, as always." She told Blu and kissed her shoulder but frowned when she heard another bang and laughing from upstairs. Closing her eyes she let herself think for a moment as the two girls strummed on Blu's guitar before she finally blurted out what she was thinking, "move in with me, different apartment than this one... But move in with me."
Mentions: r e i
outfit​

 

[Chimney Swift]

MOOD: heartbroken

OUTFIT: Fall Flannels

LOCATION: The Berkowitz Residence

basics

MENTIONS:
Ronan Myling
Dan travelbypages

INT:
Mariah tamarapasek
Chance ALittleRedLie

tags

TL;DR

tl;dr

Max Berkowitz

We accept the love we think we deserve.

After Ronan left Max’s bedroom, it felt as though the whole world had collapsed in on itself. Like a black hole had opened up and sucked everything down into an empty abyss.

Max couldn’t breathe. He had no idea how much time had passed between when Ronan left and when Dan brought him back to reality. He might as well have slipped into a coma.

His friend walked into the room, after Max obviously didn’t hear his knock, and sat down beside the bed with a tray of coffee cups and cookies for each of them. He’d put so much thought into making this nice. Max’s heart sank with guilt. This was the first time they’d ever been able to just hang out as friends, not as patients in the psych hospital. And Max was ruining it, just like he ruined everything else. Just like he ruined his relationship.

His vision was blurry with tears; it was difficult to see what Dan was saying to him. Max wasn’t great at reading lips anyhow, so he only caught a few words: ‘hello, like the shops, wrong, talk, know.’ Instead of asking Dan to repeat himself, Max just nodded awkwardly and forced a smile in a weak attempt to prove to Dan that he was actually okay. He knew though, deep down, that Dan would never fall for such a pathetic lie. They’d met each other at the lowest points in their young lives. They’d already seen each other at their worst. There was no point in hiding it.

With a heavy sigh and a long sip of his coffee, Max grabbed a notebook and pen off his bedside table. “Hey Dan,” Max scribbled hastily, “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I’m really sorry.” He was only two sentences in and had already apologized twice. Tears left small splotches on the paper, smearing the ink from the pen so that the letters were barely legible. Max’s sloppy, frantic handwriting was not helping matters.

“My boyfriend just cheated on me.”

Max spent a long time staring down at the word boyfriend, feeling his stomach drop. Shivering with dread, he added one last line before passing the page over to Dan, cringing at his own words.

“...I’m gay actually.
Sorry I didn’t say anything”

As he gave Dan a chance to read over what he’d said, Max suddenly remembered that Mariah should be there any minute. Mariah, who was probably still sore with Max for kissing Chance… she knew too. Mariah, and Lemon, Tatum, Carson, and now Dan… how many people had Max accidentally told?
Everyone knew.
Everyone.
Everyone, everyone…

Fuck it, thought Max, in a burst of uncharacteristic spite borne from the sting of being cheated on. He sat up from his bed, wolfing down the last of his cookie and grabbing a jacket off the floor.

“Hey. When my other friend gets here… We should get drinks.” He signed to Dan, slowly fingerspelling out the word drinks to make sure he understood.

This was probably a stupid idea. The last two times Max got drunk, he wound up completely wasted in Chance Matthews’ bed. The thought of having that happen a third time made Max feel like his throat was closing up. Chance wouldn’t be there, though… actually, Max hadn’t seen Chance in a while. He missed him. He missed him all the more now that he knew Ronan hadn’t actually loved him. He hadn’t realized how much his heart ached for companionship, how much he needed to feel loved. Imagining Chance’s arms around him again made him dizzy all over again.

code by valen t.