Other What's Wrong With Romance?

[DisneyGirl]

Sooo. It seems like romantic roleplays are looked down upon in roleplaying communities. Now, I understand that it's just not some people's cup of tea and that it's annoying---especially if you're a 1x1 roleplayer---to be expected to include a romantic subplot in your story when you don't want to roleplay romance. I also totally understand that nobody wants to play the Prince Charming to someone's Mary Sue and all that, especially if the main plot is about surviving on an island or overcoming addiction and all your partner wants to do is have your characters make out every five minutes like there isn't a zombie apocalypse going on. I get that.

What I don't get is why romance roleplays are treated like a joke and a genre that only lonely teenage girls write about...and honestly, what's so even wrong with that?

In the same way that fantasy roleplayers like stories about witches and elves and magical quests, or sci fi roleplayers are into space ships and dystopian worlds, romance roleplayers love stories about falling in love and characters going through self-discovery along the way. Some people like magic spells and some like first kisses and some enjoy both!

I don't see anybody (at least not in any roleplaying communities) putting anyone down for liking fantasy/sci-fi roleplays, and that's awesome because a lot of fantasy/sci-fi lovers get put down in real life enough for loving their genres; but thanks to the internet, fantasy/sci fi fans can have a place where they are supported, where they belong.

Romance roleplayers, on the other hand, don't really seem to have the same support and it seems like it's because a lot of people assume that romance fans are single young women who are trying to fulfill their "relationship dreams" until they find their real life Prince Charming. Okay, yes. Roleplaying a fictional love story can get unhealthy fast. Some people will use romance roleplays to fill a void in their lives and all that because being single isn't fun for a lot of folks but for the most part? Romance roleplayers aren't trying to make up for their lack of a love life. Most romance roleplayers write romance because they actually just really like love stories in the same way you really like dragons and Marvel.

But you know what? I'll be honest here. There is a little bit of that "living in your own fantasy world" thing going on in romance roleplays because yes, playing a princess who falls in love with a prince and gets a happily ever after is really fun. Just like how playing a character going to Hogwarts or fighting evil robots is fun. At the end of the day, aren't all roleplayers living a fantasy to a certain degree? That's what makes roleplaying so awesome, you guys! You can pretty much be whoever and whatever you want living in whatever world or time you want. You can be a pirate in the future or a character from your favorite anime series or a damsel in distress in a regency setting. As long as a roleplayer is still in touch with the real world and their roleplay(s) adds joy to their life, please just let them enjoy whatever it is they love without making them feel bad about it, yeah?

 

[norway]

p r e a c h. people spend so much time tryin to be 'extra' they forget to appreciate originality.

 

[Shuusuke]

I prefer not to comment on the "romance roleplays are looked down upon in roleplaying communities", "are treated like a joke and a genre that only lonely teenage girls write about" parts because honestly, it's the first I hear of it. Mocking people who like or dislike any genre unironically is simply immature, and be careful because it's easy to sound like you're doing the same thing you claim to be subject of, depending on your reaction. Instead of explaining "what is wrong with romance", I'll explain why I don't do nor like romance-centered RPs, which is what any sensible person would do, unless they want to start a discussion.

One reason is because I dislike romance in real life. It doesn't occur naturally to me. Seems pointless to go out of my way to seek something I dislike and put myself through the stress of having to spend time and effort writing about it. Anyone could say that it could be a way to practice different genres, which sure, is a valid point, but there's a number of romance stories and RPs going around that I could just look into if I wanted some pointers.

Another reason is because I think it trivializes the plot. If you have the end goal of ending up in a romance, the rest of the RP simply becomes a means to an end that's already been defined. I don't object to some interactions possibly leading to romance-like situations (rivalry, respect, admiration, danger, things like that developing into affection), but they have to make sense, character and plot-wise. If they don't, it gets pretty clear that there's an agenda that's beyond simply enjoying writing a story together with other people. And depending on how much sense it doesn't make, it could make me also not want to interact with the player anymore, because it really just...creeps me out. If they're trying to force something that doesn't make sense for it to happen in a story, there must be some other reason that I don't want anything to do with. I'd rather not take the chance of running into someone that can't see the difference between their characters (read:self-inserts) and themselves clearly.

That's pretty much my reasoning. If someone brings up a romance relationship with one of my characters, they'd have to explain why they think it makes sense and I'd have to agree with what they say. Then we could consider approaching our characters. But settling on that at the beginning? Not my thing.

 

[DisneyGirl]

I prefer not to comment on the "romance roleplays are looked down upon in roleplaying communities", "are treated like a joke and a genre that only lonely teenage girls write about" parts because honestly, it's the first I hear of it. Mocking people who like or dislike any genre unironically is simply immature, and be careful because it's easy to sound like you're doing the same thing you claim to be subject of, depending on your reaction. Instead of explaining "what is wrong with romance", I'll explain why I don't do nor like romance-centered RPs, which is what any sensible person would do, unless they want to start a discussion.

One reason is because I dislike romance in real life. It doesn't occur naturally to me. Seems pointless to go out of my way to seek something I dislike and put myself through the stress of having to spend time and effort writing about it. Anyone could say that it could be a way to practice different genres, which sure, is a valid point, but there's a number of romance stories and RPs going around that I could just look into if I wanted some pointers.

Another reason is because I think it trivializes the plot. If you have the end goal of ending up in a romance, the rest of the RP simply becomes a means to an end that's already been defined. I don't object to some interactions possibly leading to romance-like situations (rivalry, respect, admiration, danger, things like that developing into affection), but they have to make sense, character and plot-wise. If they don't, it gets pretty clear that there's an agenda that's beyond simply enjoying writing a story together with other people. And depending on how much sense it doesn't make, it could make me also not want to interact with the player anymore, because it really just...creeps me out. If they're trying to force something that doesn't make sense for it to happen in a story, there must be some other reason that I don't want anything to do with. I'd rather not take the chance of running into someone that can't see the difference between their characters (read:self-inserts) and themselves clearly.

That's pretty much my reasoning. If someone brings up a romance relationship with one of my characters, they'd have to explain why they think it makes sense and I'd have to agree with what they say. Then we could consider approaching our characters. But settling on that at the beginning? Not my thing.

Right, and I see and respect your point. I'm not saying everyone should roleplay romance because it's just not interesting to some people. What I'm talking about is when people make fun of romance roleplayers or treat it like it's not "real writing".

 

[salty_ moustachio]

I think because you're more likely to find the terrible Mary Sue characters in romance that you won't find in other genres.

I've had some doozys. Haha.

But I still hold out for a good romance plot myself.

 

[Shuusuke]

It's kind of easy for the reasons I mentioned to make someone dislike romance RPs, and if they just generalize and predict that romance RPers have the problems I mentioned, I guess that becomes their reason. It could happen with any genre really, liking anime and RPing in anime fandoms can be seen as childish or worse by some people, for example.

In any case, as I mentioned, I haven't seen those things you mentioned, maybe because I simply stay away from romance RPs to begin with. So I don't have much to say on that front, other than I think that mocking RPers for their genre preferences is immature. I'll keep an eye here in case someone provides a reason why they feel so strongly against romance that they make fun of people who like it just because they like it, because I'm curious too.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Stupid internet is down so gonna try to do this on my phone.

To clarify people don’t have a problem with the romance genre.

People have a problem with selfish roleplayers. Many of whom use the romance genre as an excuse to force other people to write out their ( the player ) personal fantasies.

And it’s never an equal trade off. Even in those ridiculus and insulting “double” roleplayers where people outright say

I’ll play your crush if you play mine.

It’s extremely limiting and more over outright exclusive of any person who does not role play with the mentality of

I want to make a story of my crush falling in love with a version of me.

Given the prevalence of this mentality I’d say plenty of people like it.

Awesome they can play together.

But when your searching for a platonic or even just a well written story that involves a romanctic relationship it’s very frustrating to scroll though all these selfish and exclusive requests.

So no it’s not - romance is a stupid girly genre that only lonely teens like.

It’s if I see one more person asking me to write their crush in a fantasy reality where they receive some kind of personal validation I’m going to slap them.

Because it’s selfish. What do I get out of playing your crush? Oh I can look forward to you playing my crush? How generous. Only I don’t have a crush. So now what ?

And that kind of selfishness doesn’t exist only in romance by a long shot.

And I wouldn’t roleplay with those kind of people if instead of crushes and self insets it was

You play this lampshade character that exists only to admire how manly my character is while he defeats all the bad guy red shirts of the roleplay

Or you play the dumb alien that my character makes more awesome by using their awesome amazing powerS

Or your dumb muffle character is so lucky they get taken in by my awesome magic character. Let’s talk about how awesome and magical they are for the whole roleplay.

You see the common thread right?

It’s not romance. It’s someone making a story all about their need to have the best most special character.

 

[salty_ moustachio]

I’ll play your crush if you play mine

Gag.

I see posts up sometimes in the partners wanted area that list their fandom crushes hoping to get someone to play that fandom crush.

That gives me Ew vibes but if people are happy having self insert characters drooling in character, sure why not?

I just don't ever want to do it.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I’ll play your crush if you play mine

Gag.

I see posts up sometimes in the partners wanted area that list their fandom crushes hoping to get someone to play that fandom crush.

That gives me Ew vibes but if people are happy having self insert characters drooling in character, sure why not?

I just don't ever want to do it.

Yeah to clarify it’s more the selfishness than the request if that makes sense. Like you wanna play a self insert that’s cool. I do it myself if I’m too busy with world building to create a character.

The crush thing is not my cup of tea (it also icks me out) but I don’t think it’s necessarily bad.

It’s when you combine the two with this sort of entitled attitude.

Like well I want to roleplay this. So the roleplay is going to be what I want. I don’t care about YOUR wants. Unless they happen to be the exact same as mine. And even then I’ll mostly only pretend to care

 

[Idea]

Going into this thread, I have to say I never once encountered the kind of thing you're describing, or more specifically, I never ever saw even the most remote hint of someone suggesting that :

romance fans are single young women who are trying to fulfill their "relationship dreams"

However, I have heard romance being put down a lot. I have never heard romance being put down for merely existing, though, as the opening post appears to suggest, as indeed romance seems to be acceptable and even welcomed in a lot of stories and RPs. Rather, what people most often protest is a specific focus or design around romance itself, making romance the priority or worse something that justifies disregarding everything else.

To that effect, there are two complaints I have heard ad nauseum, when directly asked about their stance on romance and often also of their own accord. The first complaint people put forth is that they don't want "romance only", this is, an RP whose exclusive purpose and genre is romance. Now, putting aside whether this is physically possible considering that just having a setting means having other genres included, the worry I guess people have with this complaint is that the story becomes too obsessed with the romance and that that comes at the expense of the characters as individuals, more than cogs in the romantic machine. People also enjoy other aspects and emotions that romance simply doesn't provide on it's own, like action thrills and a sense of wonder most commonly associated with loose magic or worldbuilding. Again, the complaint here regards romance as the EXCLUSIVE genre for an RP.

The other major complaint I hear, is romance that "isn't organic", "is rushed", love at first sight being the most common offender in terms of mentions. People generally want the characters to display some chemistry and then decide romance, not build the characters around the romance or try to shoe-horn it. Again, characters being more than just cogs in the romantic mahcine.

Now, while I don't completely agree with these, I do have to give them credit cause they exist for a reason. I don't think it does any good for people to keep repeating what everyone already knows, and I suppose a lot of that can be blamed on the media continuing to do the exact same mistakes as it regards these matters, but they do get to the heart of it somewhat. The hate on romance is a bit excessive, and is somewhat due to stigma, however, there is (I believe) at least one central problem romance has, maybe two, that are somewhat inherented to it and it's current fanbase.

Romance is a genre built on pacing. At it's heart, romance can be done with any characters on any setting, this has been proven multiple times, but the secret to doing it well lies in something realy tricky to get right, which is matching the beats of each phase of the romance. How long to drag out certain scenes, how much repetition is allowed, should I stall here or close things there, how much can I twist this problem, can I make a mistunderstanding here or will it breka the flow too much?... These are questions even the best romance writers at least SHOULD be struggling with as they write, and they are simply extremely difficult to get right. When you mix that with the fact that 80% of roleplayers, probably more, are just ad-libing their way through their posts and stories, and what you get is virtually 0 chance of purposefully striking a deep cord. Now, roleplaying does have one neat trick that helps improve your odds considerably, steeming from the fact the investment in one's own character can help steer those emotions out of someone, but thta's not the point right now. What I want to get at, is this: because it is so hard to make that connection work, players are met with the other disadvantage inhrent to romance:

Romance is corny.

I don't mean that in an entirely bad way. Those are plenty of amazing writers in the romance genre, one might even argue it's one of the most popular genres in literature, but if you take a cold, unnatached read to what's actually written in the pages, the odd choices in vocabulary and imagery, the flowery of certain aspects or odd focuses, they are pretty much universal in the romance genre because they are the direct result of focusing on the romantic/sexual attraction between individuals. Now, while the corny writing in a story you can connect with can actually enhance the story's immersion and traits, by helping you get deeper into the character's perspective, if as mention earlier the writer is simply too unskilled for that, then it's really gonna make the corny writing stand out, which is gonna pull you out of the story, maybe even make it unbeareable or impossible to take seriously.


Which leads me to my final point. What this all boils down to, is that there is a general, not completely unfounded fear, that romance for romance's sake is just too immersion-breaking. romance is put down a lot because as a result of it's own popularity (via things like normal romance Rping, fan-shipping, e-RP young adult romance novels, and even a lot of the supposedly more "mature" books often carrying heavy romance themes) suffers from the backlash of the vast vast majority of the people doing it not having the slighest clue about what they are doing and being ultra-focused on getting the romantic fantasy without concern for whether it works as a cohesive unit with itself.

Personally, I love romance, and do even have plots in my search thread right now which are basically strictly romantic. That said, those are my thoughts on what the ill repute is all about and I don't think it is entirely baseless.

 

[Miscellany]

I think there's also the sheer ubiquity of romance in roleplay to blame for people being sick of seeing it.

If you go looking for a 1x1, many people format their rp cravings as role a/role b. Sometimes they might just want want to play two people in an interesting circumstance or relation to each other and maybe they're okay with the characters ending up as friends/rivals/not-lovers. But most of the time they don't specify and their cravings are common fetishes like master/slave, student/teacher, or as pointed out above, canon character/oc. If they want their partner to play multiple roles, it might that be they actually want a small group rp but don't want to deal with wrangling 4+ people together, but sadly, someone wanting their partner to play a character of their preferred gender so their partner will play a character of their own preferred gender is much more common.

In group rps, you're almost certainly going to have a sexuality field in the profile, so that the other people know whether your character is shippable with theirs. Rp communities with a disproportionate amount of one gender see that gender throwing themselves at the first compatible character of their preferred gender, or GMs accepting any characters of the sparser gender they can get, leading to some sue-ish characters. If you go to plot with your fellow rpers, you may not have much idea where the gm is going with the rp's plot, so you end up plotting ships instead, and while some pairs are going to be platonic or hateful or even just hilarious, there's definitely going to be a few romantic as well. Not to mention IC romance sometimes causing OOC drama.

So there may very well be a thought of 'UGH why would you want to rp romance when it's already everywhere?'

 

[hologram]

I don't feel like the stigma the original poster describes is really something that exists in RP communities because I've always felt like romance is often treated as the 'default genre' in a lot of roleplays. I have a complicated relationship with it as a fandom RPer who prefers 'canon and OC' style roleplay. I'm not really a shipper when I get into my fandoms, like I might make jokes or observations but I usually don't seek out romantic content, but it often feels like the majority of fanfic is either romantic, sexual, or fetishistic in nature. I do have my exceptions but they often seem to be pairings for dead fandoms where hardly anyone produces fan content anyways. I feel like I'm far more likely to grump about a character suddenly written into a romance that feels abrupt and ill-fitting.

At the same time I sometimes enjoy playing romance out in RPs and don't have much trouble with 'play this canon as my OC's love interest' style requests provided the romance is just one facet of the relationship between these two characters and not the sole focus. The same goes for the roleplay itself. I have OCs that I will write in varying relationships with canon characters, sometimes romantic, but I've never really classified it as self-insertion even if I do admit I'm sometimes attracted to these characters. Back when I was younger, though, I definitely did a lot of self-inserts.

Is it a little selfish? I don't know if I've ever seen it that way. I feel like a lot of fandom RP is about compromise. Sometimes to me, part of that compromise is offering romance as an option for my partner when I'm more interested in worldbuilding, fleshing out characters, or coming up with plots. I do enjoy doubling and have a lot of fun playing a canon character the way my partner requests. I think I see it as a fun challenge, and the sort of 'restriction' that sometimes leads to inspiration.

So I kind of stand on both sides of the issue, I suppose. I wish there was more non-romantic content or more of a niche for fandom RPs that don't have romance as a large component, but I don't refuse to write it either and often enjoy doing so as long as all the other stuff I like about RP is there too. Are the romantic relationships I write believable? I honestly don't know because it's not something I often engage with otherwise.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Well my problem isn’t in making a request. It’s when when you demand other people play a pairing for you without taking their input into account.

So less I want you to play X for Y character. That’s fine. Hell I do that with platonic role plays all the time.

It’s when you just assume that as long as you get what you want out of the roleplay it doesn’t matter if your partner is happy or enjoying themselves. Either because your so focused on getting your own fantasy fulfilled and can’t bother to care for anyone else. Or because you assume everyone has your exact fantasy and this they’ll be happy playing whatever role you let them have.

It’s when the entire roleplay is only about fulfilling your needs.

I mean for general romance it’s just not my cup of tea but it doesn’t bother me when other people want to do it.

The thing I hate is when someone acts like their idea of romance super exes everything else. Including their partners enjoyment and input in roleplay

 

[hologram]

Well my problem isn’t in making a request. It’s when when you demand other people play a pairing for you without taking their input into account.

So less I want you to play X for Y character. That’s fine. Hell I do that with platonic role plays all the time.

It’s when you just assume that as long as you get what you want out of the roleplay it doesn’t matter if your partner is happy or enjoying themselves. Either because your so focused on getting your own fantasy fulfilled and can’t bother to care for anyone else. Or because you assume everyone has your exact fantasy and this they’ll be happy playing whatever role you let them have.

It’s when the entire roleplay is only about fulfilling your needs.

I mean for general romance it’s just not my cup of tea but it doesn’t bother me when other people want to do it.

The thing I hate is when someone acts like their idea of romance super exes everything else. Including their partners enjoyment and input in roleplay

I get ya. I'm all about that jolly cooperation so if I feel like my partner's acting like "my way or the highway" I know I'm probably not going to do well with them in the long term. I definitely try to make sure both parties are enjoying themselves. I think this is one of the reasons I prefer an active OOC chat too because it's easier to tell if the person I'm writing with is engaged if we're having a conversation on the side and it lets me know they're enjoying it too.

 

[Coco Adel]

I think the issue some people have with it is when it takes over the RP like you kind of touched on when the main point of the RP is not romance it's okay for romance to be a subplot but when everyone is trying to hook up it kind of stops the story, I don't think people would mind as much if there was a good balance. I've seen RPs die because two people completely overshadowed the rest of the RP with their romance plot.

 

[apolla]

To answer the question, 'what's wrong with romance?'--

Not a damn thing.

I have seen comments all over RPN about how much people despise romance roleplays for whatever reason. And if it's not your cup of tea, fine. No harm, no foul, roleplaying should be something you enjoy. In a group setting, I don't care as much for romance as I do in a 1x1. Maybe because I'm a sucker for a romance? I like stories with the romantic aspect? All of the above, and more. It's something I enjoy.

There is SO MUCH MORE that comes with a story that I find MOST people want to add in. Drama, angst, adventure, whatever-- but people see romance and run for the hills. I absolutely detest that I have to put a disclaimer in my interest check that I want to have more than a sappy love story, because people just assume. It sucks when you want a great story with romance as a possibility even, and people judge you for it (because yes, it happens) and don't want to RP with you.

I guess people's problems with self inserts is that they're not normally written well. But if they are-- who cares? Do you know this person? Most likely not, so how are you going to know if they can write their ass off?

And as far as fandom pairings go, I kinda consider doubling the norm, but then again, I'm a romance RPer. It's not ridiculous to want someone to RP a love interest, and if it is-- get off of the page? Maybe you want to roleplay in the Harry Potter world, and so what if you want to pair an OC with Draco? If that's not what you're looking for, find someone else. No need to put someone down because they enjoy romance.

I have always roleplayed romance, and I'm sure back when I started-- over a decade ago-- I did horrible, horrible self inserts. But you live, you learn, and you usually get better. If you don't wanna RP with that person bc they might not be the best writer, that's fine. But putting them down for enjoying romance is not cute.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Again no one is putting anyone down for enjoying romance or judging people for liking romance.

I genuinely do not know where people are getting this idea. People dislike aspects of romance WRITING for reasons we’ve all gone over.

No one gives a crap if you just happen to like writing romance. Most of us don’t even give a crap if you wanna write poorly written romance.

If anyone is being looked down upon its Selfish people who make the roleplay “my way or the highway”. Those people can kick rocks.

The rest are just general complaints about execution really.

Like I would love it if a romance was paced better. Or a little more unique Instead of the same romantic pairing I’ve already seen 5000 times.

That’s not people turning their nose up at romance.

Anymore than saying - hey let’s maybe try to pace this school roleplay a little better OR make this zombie roleplay a little more unique is dumping on THOSE genre.

Asking for more diversity, better writing, and cooperation are at worst constructive criticism.

And guess what Romance isn’t the only genre where those things can be asked for. It just so happens that this thread is about romance so people are focusing on that.

Make a thread about superheroes and you’ll likely hear similar complaints. Are people looking down on others for being mouth breathing nerds for writing superheroes? No they’re just saying here are the common problems and why we would like them addressed/fixed

 

[Idea]

rae2nerdy is there a reason for this new style you have of spacing every sentence with a couple paragraphs? I'm genuily curious cause it seems a little odd to me.

 

[Idea]

I guess people's problems with self inserts is that they're not normally written well. But if they are-- who cares? Do you know this person? Most likely not, so how are you going to know if they can write their ass off?

Personally, my issue with self-inserts is one of priorities. It's true, I don't know the person writing the self-insert, which is exactly why in deciding to pick where to spend my sparse time, I have to choose based on certain assumptions, both those of experience and those taken logically. And one of those conclusions happens to be that if you're making a self-insert then you are probably gonna have a really hard time detaching. Your commitment to the character is way bigger than any commitment you might have with the story or even our RP, so in a choice between the two, you'd be likely to favor the self-insert.

Now, I already have a general distrust for people's actual degree of writing skill, as most people overstimate themselves quite a bit. This isn't to say I'm any better, but that precisely because I can't get into other people's head, I can't know where that unawareness may lead to, which is one of the reasons I favor planning and structure over ad-libing. So, if you pile on a character that clearly shows one's inability to unattach, it only solidifies my worries further.

To answer your question, "who cares?", well I do. When picking my partners, I care about whether I can count on them to do stuff. Anyone is free to do as they like, roleplay as they like, and about whatever they like, I don't want to step on those rights nor put them down, though after reading your comment I simply wanted to state that I don't need to want to cooperate in making something I don't like, I have no such obligation and that is not putting you down.

 

[letachibana]

True romance is dead and I'm sad.

 

[Damafaud]

True romance is dead and I'm sad.

Objection!

*slams table*

You're just bad at looking for them!

In the matter of romance, the journey toward that confession scene is more important than the scene itself for me. The scene should be a vintage point, something that puts the all of the characters memory together into one action where they simply say 'I love you' and everyone gets how they love each other. Why? Because the journey that leads to that scene shows it!

I dislike pure romance or romance as the main prospect as a theme. If the characters put aside the story in the name of love, what is there to conclude? Their already obvious feeling for each other? Nooo I want that romance to be a driving force for the couple. Romeo and Juliet won't be as interesting if they downplay the animosity between the Montague and Capulet; That's the conflicting point that makes it interesting! Romance in politic, romance in an adventurous groups, there is a wide array of possible interesting romance. Why only focus on the kissy gooey part?

Nothing is wrong with romance, but most of the time, stories with Romance as its main prospect doesn't feel really romantic.

 

[Whisker]

Put simply, romance is one of the hardest topics to write well. It also has an unsavory reputation of attracting a high amount of problematic roleplayers. Just go peruse one of the horror story threads. Many of the stories you'll find are related to romance-centered rps.

That being said, I do occasionally indulge in rps that have romance in them. I do so under the strict confidence that my partner isn't a total headcase and that I will NOT play Prince charming to Mary Suella number 45609.

 

[Melpomene]

Mm this is a mighty interesting topic, I must say. I cannot say that I am familiar with people treating the romance genre as a joke, as you say. In fact, I find quite the opposite, seeing as it is arguably the most popular genre. From what I see, it is people that hate romance that are the minority. I myself stand somewhere in the middle, as I do enjoy a well-done romance.

To be completely honest, anyone that claims romance is not real writing or puts others down for playing romance is, quite frankly, childish and a dick. I have a certain distaste for anyone that will put down an entire genre like that.

That being said, this post makes it seem that hating on romance is... popular, which, as I mentioned before, I find to be untrue. The sheer amount of romance Rps that exist along with the amount of novels that are either about romance or contain a romance are proof of that. I am rather certain that most 1x1 Rps have some sort of romance within them. Which, the sheer amount in itself may just be what caused some backlash on the romance genre. Even in many group Rps I will see people pair off. Which, you are correct, people like what they like and who am I to judge?

Now, I am a writer, first and foremost. I love writing, I often analyze text, tropes, and genres in themselves to see what makes them work and what makes them... fail. The romance genre, as someone pointed out, is one of the hardest genres to write in. That is why I have a hard time finding romances that I really like. However, I think it is worth mentioning that my favorite Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast and yes, I love the romance in that movie ( and no, Belle does not have Stockholm Syndrome, trust me, I researched to prove this point). I thought it was well-done and sweet.

I mention this, because I think this shows how many stand on romance. I do not think there are many romance haters (as, in my experience, I have met only one person that absolutely refuses to have a romance) rather, there might be a good chunk that are very picky about their romance. Or they are like me and are a contrarian, so when they see "Romance Required", they immediately throw the computer across the room and cry: "YOU DO NOT CONTROL ME!!!!"

 

[rae2nerdy]

rae2nerdy is there a reason for this new style you have of spacing every sentence with a couple paragraphs? I'm genuily curious cause it seems a little odd to me.

It’s called writing on a phone. I do it to help me read through it

 

[QuirkyAngel]

Romeo and Juliet won't be as interesting if they downplay the animosity between the Montague and Capulet

^This.

What makes a romance novel enjoyable to me is the drama. The struggles for romance. The jealousy. The third wheel. Even a pure romance rp needs a plot to make it interesting(some sort foil against them). I'm not against romance. On the contrary, I'm probably better at writing romance than I am at battles (since I suck at choreography writing and am a more character-thought focused writer). But if there's nothing hooking me to the rp other than character A gets together with character B, I likely won't join (unless I know the other player well). I know I'll get bored eventually.

There's all sorts of stigma about romance rps because of self-inserts and Mary/Gary Sues that, while possible to find in all genres, are prevalent in the romance one. It's pretty much human nature to generalize and make judgements based on a trend. People always have an opinion about something. If you're getting a lot of hate for the type of rp you like to do then that sucks and I'll express my sympathy. I've never really experienced that myself, but then I'm an introvert and don't really do that much chatting or exploring beyond the rps I'm interested in.

Personally, I don't really have a problem with self-inserts, Mary/Gary Sues, etc unless they kill immersion or break the game. Everybody wants to make the type of characters they like when they join rps, or play characters that are likable to them. They want their character to be likable to others (which to be honest, usually causes the reverse effect). Mary Sue/Gary sue main characters are everywhere in manga. The all-knowing, perfect god characters have their place in plot (often as side characters). Every character, to a certain degree, is a self insert since they are being played by a player. They are more often seen accepted into romance or realistic rps because there's less of a game/battle aspect in those. Chances are your OP vampire with super strength and superior intellect won't be that big of an issue if the goal of the plot is to get the girl. Also, even if a person describes their character as divinely 'suave' or 'charismatic' in their cs it's a whole different matter if they can't rp it .

People also seem to like natural, realistic romance, which might be another factor. Playing a character that has to be in love with another feels forced, especially if the player can't see their character falling in love with the other player's character. Romance has nice flavor. But too much can be a bit tiring as well. Especially if it feels forced.