Experiences What Do You Like/Dislike About Romance RPs?

[GoldenSlime]

If you do romance RPs, what are your favorite parts and least favorite parts? If you don't do romance RPs, why do you dislike them? Share your romance RP experiences here!

Personally, I love romance. I love romantically describing the scene; "The moonlight touched his honey blonde hair. His soft forest green eyes twinkled with the light, she could see a sad sparkle in them as if he was pulling away from her in his mind. He brushed his hand through her ebony locks and kissed her gently." It's just so romantic and fun. x3 I like putting romantic music on in the background and writing these scenes.

Et tu?

 

[rae2nerdy]

I think the reason I'm not overfond of romance is because they are basically wish fulfillment fantasies. To a greater or lesser extent people roleplay romance so they can put themselves into a relationship they wish they could have. Now this is slightly different than self-insert fantasy which I'll get into below.

But yeah the core reason people like romance is because it is a type of human relationship that they have a strong emotional connection with. They want to see their fictional characters get a "happy ending" because that is something they value in life.

Unfortunately I do not place any such value on romance in real life. I do not have any burning desire to have a romantic relationship with anyone and I find fantasizing about it to be dull at best. I mean I understand the objective purpose of shipping canon characters at least, the storylines make sense or it enhances the characters in some way.

Unfortunately while I can sort of get away with consuming those kinds of stories ( even then they're not my favorites ) I find writing them to be extremely frustrating and boring. Mostly because it's always forced. I'm only writing character X to fall in love with character Y because that is what the plot demands. I have no real desire to see them together. I get no excitement, engagement, or sense of fullfillment from them being together.

it's just the plot is Character X falls in love with Character Y. I have completed the plot and now the story is over.

Now that's just my general thoughts on why romance isn't important to me personally.

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Why I dislike romance roleplays is because of self-insert lampshades. People who only write basically harlequin style romances where it's Male Character Falls In Love / Mistreats / Seduces / [ Insert Author's Personal Fantasy or Kink Here ] Female Character.

These people usually write flat one note female characters that are designed to be author inserts. They represent the player themselves and them living out their personal kink or fantasy within the roleplay.

The male character exists solely to fullfill the writer's fantasy or kink. They are not characters. They are just ways to give the author their own personal sense of validation or fullfilment.

Now there is nothing inherently wrong with writing these kinds of characters ... in a SOLO medium. If you want to write a book , fanfiction, journal entry, whatever about your own personal romantic or sexual fantasy that's fine. You can even share it with people if you want.

The problem is that roleplay is a collaborative medium. It is writing a story TOGETHER with another person. So therefore that person has to have some investment in the story as well. And most of the time with self-insert lampshades they don't.

Because it's a very specific kind of roleplay where one person gets to basically live out their fantasy by forcing someone else to write it. And I just think that is super selfish.

I mean I have no desire to write out someone else's Fifty Shades of Grey while they just sit back and read it like a book.

One to many run ins with these particularly awful version of romance writers combined with my general disinterest in romance anyway has ensured that I only do it if someone outright demands it be added to the story. And even then it's usually so far in the background that it never comes up anyway.

 

[Clocks]

Romance roleplay can be super fun or a nightmare. When one hits on good partner, it can be funny and entertaining, it can have just the right amount of Angst and Emotional Issues and so on, but when one don't...

I like romance subplots in the roleplay, I really do. But I hate when they overshadow literally everything else. I mean, I participated in roleplays, where it became riddiculous, as in "who cares that there is a post-apocalyptic surrounding and we run out of food - my crush on X is main issue here and it needs to be adressed. All. The. Time".

Also, hell, let's make it balanced. I am not going to make my character keep hitting on your character, while they play broody and hard to get. It's fun at first. Then it becomes challenging. And then, straight-up annoying. One can repeat something along the lines of "No, I am not that sort of person!" only as many times. If my character is just "doing it wrong" - give me a hint, because honestly, when I exhaust my whole flirting arsenal, I will just give up.
That is also about people who play characters that create constant drama and breakups. One dramatic breakup might be interesting, but let's be realistic, if one was to push other person (character) away constantly, pull of "we are not ment to be" thing all the time - I am going to have my character give up.

What I love are the goofy scenes. With good partner, it's a goldmine. It's grand excuse for multiple funny scenes. Love can trigger a myriad of unconventional behaviours. But again, it's all about a good partner.

 

[Melpomene]

Ooh! I would love to give my two cents here!

The reason why I like a few romances is because of the human interaction. I love exploring my characters, what makes them happy, what they like, what they dislike, and a romance is a great way to do that. It shows who they're compatible with, who they aren't, how much value they put on such a thing, etc. Especially when it comes naturally, it can be means for GREAT character development.

Now, the keyword there is when it comes naturally. As in, there characters were not made specifically for a romance, they just ended up coming together because they just happened to have great chemistry. They're not perfect, not compatible in every way, shape or form, they have their fights and disagreements. They have things they absolutely dislike about one another. But there's still that care and love, and they can see one another at their worst, can be driven mad by one another at points, but there is still deep care, respect, and love.

But then comes the romance that did not 'just happen'. It was more or less... Planned. I say this because I find that sometimes it is explicitly stated that a romance is wanted, which I am not judging anyone for. Then there's people who heavily imply they want a romance, though never explicitly state it. Btw, if you are ever wondering whether your partner wants a romance or not, if they have afemale character and keep on pushing how hot and beautiful she is, and how many men probably want to have sex with her or date her because of how sexy she is, they probably want a romance.

I actually don't mind people not explicitly saying they want a romance because it is usually easy for me to tell when they do. But now let me get on to why I have a bit of a distaste for planned romances, whether they were implied or explicit.

Romances actually made me think I did not like playing male characters. That was until I discovered that I have two male characters at the moment that I rank above a lot of my female characters. It recently made me think about why I like them compared to all the other males I've made. Then I realized that they were the only males that weren't made specifically to pander to someone's romantic fantasy. They were completely my own and I gave them personalities that weren't what most partner's would think Mr. Perfect to be like.

So what I actually dislike about most romances is the fact that it usually recquires me to make a character that panders specifically to someone's ideal romance instead of... Forgive me if this offends anyone but, a real character. Now, it can be far more tolerable when they're paired against a developed female that is a well-rounded character. Even if it is pandering, at least they're interacting with a person. And I also don't mind it so much when it feels like I only need him to have one or two traits to pander and can make the rest my own.

The only time I get really frustrated with it (which, tbf, these things actually happen fairly often)

1. As rae2nerdy said before me, when they are lampshade cookie cutter female characters with no personality to speak of. How the hell is anyone going to fall in love with them? It makes me want to shake the creator of them and say: "YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S MORE TO ROMANCE THAN SEXUAL ATTRACTION RIGHT!?!?" I can tell you right now that there are many men that I have thought looked real yummy, but I would never say I loved them. Why? Because I now nothing about them. Now, some of this might stem from naivete about how romance actually works, but some of it is just to fulfill a fantasy.

2. This ties in with the first because this is about the self-insert character. But, I've found a character can have a personality and be a self-insert. The thing with the self-insert is that the author tends to get overly defensive with them and seem to get upset if my character does not immediately fall for theirs.

3. When I have absolutely no wiggle room. My partner wants every aspect of their looks to fall into their ideals (perhaps even the size of their genetalia). They want every aspect of their personality to fall under their fantasy. They want my character to be a stereotypical romance main character, usually.

4. Like what Clocks mentioned, their character won't freaking respond to any advances my character makes or even goes as far as to push them away. No, I refuse to go so far as to make my character a stereotypical romance main, so no, they will not continue to pursue. And don't get upset when they do not. Because they just have too much self-respect to keep on going after someone who seems to be saying they don't want them.

Well, as you can see, I don't think I hate romance in itself, I don't find it fun to play into someone else ideal romance. Thanks for your attention! Ciao!

 

[Shuusuke]

I was really looking forward to giving my thoughts on the matter, only to find out that the first reply and the following ones explain everything I wanted to say.
Basically, if a romance is planned from the start, I very much dislike how they're putting the setting, plot, and everything else as a secondary part of the RP, only to fulfill someone's agenda. I'm not even going to get into specific things, such as "female character that focuses on her physical assets", "cool broody male character" and more, because to me all of it is unappealing.

If a romance ends up happening, it has to be because it made sense, and there was a lengthy build-up in the form of rivalry, servitude, cooperation, or something like that. The background, personality, situation and/or something else of involved characters have to match in some way (which can mean complete opposites, I'm not against that). If I feel like the other player is reaching, it'll make me very unmotivated to continue the RP in general. I need to feel like the other players are as dedicated to the story as I am, not putting their desires first. But I wouldn't just quit the RP, or start ignoring their character, I'd make sure to send them a message and try to sort it out OOC there. Failing that, I don't see any good outcomes.

 

[Idea]

Personally, I love romance. I love romantically describing the scene; "The moonlight touched his honey blonde hair. His soft forest green eyes twinkled with the light, she could see a sad sparkle in them as if he was pulling away from her in his mind. He brushed his hand through her ebony locks and kissed her gently." It's just so romantic and fun.

That's not necessarily romance tough, that's simply flowery. Which is not to say it's bad, by no means, I simply mean you can use it even outside of romance.

For my own opinion, I like romance in that it allows to explore sides and depths of the characters. Seeing characters confronted with cherishing and loss and betrayl and loneliness, all things given to us threefold by even basic romance. And of course, I also like the emotional rollercoaster, whether more lighthearted like romantic comedies or more melodramatic like in, well, dramas. As a big fan of self-sacrifice stories and of the misunderstood hero trope, I am very interested in how these can proliferate with the aid of romance. However, romance is something that happens as a transition between stages done at a given pace, and it's very heart to really pull the way a romance can become touching if you don't happen to be particularly skilled at getting that pace right, especially if you need to do it very quickly.

That said, there are two things I hate about romance RPs.

1. Everyone saying basically "let's not just do romance". It's really started to annoy me, because this is EVERYONE's stance. There is no need to repeat it yet everyone still does. I would go more into detail, but it's just a pet peeve and I'm tired so maybe later I'll edit it in or something...

2.People who think stalling = real drama. Over and over I see this pratice in romantic plots, where they think the girl being independent means resisting every single attempt at decent human interaction, or that the parties involved in the romance must be in a perpetual state of semi-attracted to each other or any other number of things. Don't get me wrong, romance taking time and having bumps is fine, even perpetual states of non-resolution aren't that bad sitting with me, as I am quite a fan of harem anime. However, I do have a problem if the characters or plot are stuck in a loop or worse, simply not moving at all because someone can't stay focused. While I often hear complaints about people rushing the romance, I'd argue that people trying to stretch it out without any know-how is a much more proiminent issue.

Gathering my overall thoughts, I think what I'm getting at is romance is a wonderful thing, and it's lovely that people enjoy it so much. However, it's also something very delicate, which is suppose to be it's own thing while also being the support for the rest of the plot. It plays directly with the emotional state of the characters, it's ABOUT emotions, so of course it takes skill. ANd while it's admirable that people wantt o avoid the plot-hole riddled traditional romances, perhaps it's best to know how to paint a portrait before you try the Sistine Chappel.

 

[FlyingDemon]

If you don't do romance RPs, why do you dislike them?

Because it is always forced and not so well-balanced, because.. it's a genre so limited with nothing interesting in it,
you see each-other, you fall in love with each-other, you are married, whatever will happen next.

being stuck in someone fantasy would suck a lot, being stuck to do ALL the efforts is even worse, it doesn't help if the other character is mute.. i mean, shy either.

the few times i accepted to do that genre, i regretted because, i get really bored with the forced attraction, the lack of reasons and work.



If it wasn't the centre of the plot, if genres like adventures or action are added to it, why not?
but i'm not ready to start a Romance RP with strangers at all.

 

[Tove]

I like it I just don't want the entire plot based around it and from past experiences when people say they want romance it means that it is central and everything else comes second. I enjoy if characters find they have chemistry together they're willing to see where it goes, if it goes somewhere.

No relationship is easy so seeing the struggle and to maintain it is how I enjoy it. The few posts in instant love or moving to get to the romance quickly is a major dislike in my book. What type of romance comes after hello? None, at least in my book. I don't mind it I just don't want to rush into it or make it the sole focus of a roleplay.

 

[R.Storytale]

EEE I'm a sucker for romance RPs.

What I like about them is for the growth between two characters to blossom into that beautiful feeling we all know as love BUT I also adore the insecurities that the characters may feel during it. Not just talking jealously but feelings like; "Am I even good enough for that person?"

Romance when done right is filled with not just love, but other feelings too. Its just when your partner's character fails to bring those other feelings, its rather superficial and fake. Forced even.
Give me a fight! Feel insecure that my OC may wear revealing clothing and you're afraid that others may steal her away. Get upset when they don't say those three words back. But also embrace how much you as a unit have grown by being together.

I had a pairing that I have to say was truly beautiful like that with all their feelings.

My character held confidence in her true form. Her lover however, held insecurity for his form due to the painful memories that he held while being in that form. But she taught him to embrace it by making new and happier memories for it. Such as he had braved his confession to when they made love for the first time to the birth of their child.

Her insecurity rose up shortly after their child was born. She had the ability to die and be reborn again much like a phoenix. While it usually never bothered her...she came to realize by dying (although temporary) she would be leaving the loves of her life behind. She felt that her child would grow to resent her and her lover be wracked with pain over her many deaths for they'd have to see it happen over and over.

But they both grew together. And that's whats important for an Romantic RP to succeed. Not just all happy sap moments but the more cloudy moments as well.

 

[BackSet]

I dislike romance RPs because they're romance RPs. And also because they're usually 1x1s. Like, I'm fine if it's a group RP and romance happens to find a way in (such as how I was in a roleplay and me and another player were planning on getting our characters together because we thought it was adorable) but RPs solely focused on romance are a no-go for me.

 

[Arthro]

Romance is a good additive, it can improve a story only if it belongs, and is the right type.
For instance, in a post-apocalyptic setting, there's romance that works and doesn't work.

• Father/Son love: Works. Good. [See: The Road (2009)]
• Lustful love: Doesn't work. Bad. [See: The Walking Dead (2010)]

Romance itself shouldn't be a major plotpoint if you're looking to make a roleplaying experience worth your time. What is there to learn from writing about infatuation? I can't say, I've never done it.

 

[kevintheradioguy]

I have some dubious thoughts about the subject. I do not mind romance per se, but I dislike romance RPs.

For exactly, I am currently playing a cyberpunk and kind of post-apocalyptic-ish game (world didn't come to an end, but ended as we know it) with an amazing guy, and our main characters got involved with each other to the point where we both agree they are deeply in love (we cannot really write it out just yet, because they have known each other for half a year only, and love needs more time to ripe, but as we've been playing for more than that and had time to feel it through, we know where this is going). And it's amazing. I feel the world for my character, I love how this changed him, I love feeling this for him, and I love writing him being so involved with his boyfriend. However, this still is a cybrpunk murder mystery, adventure, etc., it is not romance. Our characters exist outside of it, and they are no less and no more together as they are apart.

I accept romance and , - honestly? - all chemistry in the game, but not as the game itself. Let's face it: I'm quite old. I know that cooing and making goo-goo eyes isn't everything in life, and diminishing it only to this is pretty boring to me, not even mention - forced. Characters might not click, after all, I cannot guarantee that my guy will like your girl before we start playing, and would want to get involved with her, so I cannot really play romance RPs. Nonetheless, if he does like her, and fall for her, I wouldn't try and stop it from developing.

And, honestly, I can understand that to each their own, but in a role-playing game, where you can become literally anything, and go at any types of adventure, choosing to spend time describing kissing? - it's pretty lame, if you ask me. And not on this website, but on others that accept erotica, mentioned cyberpunk characters had so much of both kissing and sexing, that I can tell you for sure: you cannot even describe that in enough ways to keep it fresh and exciting.

So, yeah, what I like in romance RPs is character development it might bring with it. My cyberpunk character, Ellie, which is totally not a boy's name, started as a very arrogant, cynical, somewhat disappointed in life scrooge owning extremely relativistic morale, who could drag almost any girl or boy for a one-night stand as his main merit is his astonishing looks (I don't do him good in drawing). He opened up to people, falling in love. He started trusting people. He wants to do good things - he is so happy with his boyfriend, that he wants to be a better man. He is ready to share (finally), and give everything up not just for his beloved, but for generally good cause. My fluffier character, Noah, who accepted he isn't mature enough for relationships as well as he cannot support starting a family or even having a girlfriend, started rejecting his hang-up that it's his job as a male to support his mate, getting out of the stereotype, learning responsibility, learning to find compromises, be creative. He started shoving his pride on more and more occasions when it came to the person he fell for (too bad the RP partner poofed, as I loved where this was going), he started changing for the better, learning new things... all of my characters that ever fell for another person, did, and I love it. I love character development. If my character is the same in the end of the RP as he was at the beginning, this was a bad RP, period.

What I dislike in romance RPs is that the romance itself is often the only point of the game. Instead of having an adventure that has a romance subplot weaved into it, you have a romance plot with adventures made to support it (for example, get your pretty prince captured by a dark mage, only for your brave battle maiden to save him and in so doing show how much she cares). And that being said, if the romance is taken from these characters, they stop existing, because such characters are defined by their relationships. Every post going in for the details of how beautiful, wonderful and smashing hot your love interest is, filling it with all the metaphors to compare the with beautiful angelic swans, a-a-and I forgot where I was going with this. What I mean to say, I dislike romance RPs for their shallowness. Characters don't really exist outside of this romance - if it's taken away, they are just shallow dolls that idle around. People are so much more than their relationships, so if without these relationships your character is nothing, that's some bad writing, bad character, and bad development. Please, try again. It is also a way to satisfy a kink on more than one occasion, and for that I really just advise to watch some porn and be done with it.

 

[rae2nerdy]

To build on the above post I think the big problem with romance roleplays is that the people don't actually want romance. What they want is romantic SCENES.

You know like those big moments in rom coms. Ex. The nerdy girl gets a make over and the cute boy she has a crush on finally realizes she's beautiful.

Now that's just one example but in my experience that is what 95% of all romance roleplays are. It's not a plot. It's not about character interaction. It's just two people coming up with romantic scenes to plop their characters into.

But the thing is if you just write a scene without any build up it's kind of boring. And I mean emotional build up not like you post a few unrelated posts and then BOOM romantic scene.

 

[Melpomene]

To build on the above post I think the big problem with romance roleplays is that the people don't actually want romance. What they want is romantic SCENES.

You know like those big moments in rom coms. Ex. The nerdy girl gets a make over and the cute boy she has a crush on finally realizes she's beautiful.

Now that's just one example but in my experience that is what 95% of all romance roleplays are. It's not a plot. It's not about character interaction. It's just two people coming up with romantic scenes to plop their characters into.

But the thing is if you just write a scene without any build up it's kind of boring. And I mean emotional build up not like you post a few unrelated posts and then BOOM romantic scene.

In all honesty, I think you hit the nail on the head.

I came to kind of realize this myself when someone I once worked with seemed to perturbed as to how much the romance would depend on the character interaction in scenes besides that stereotypical romance.

Much of it is concentrated on what is seen in the romantic movies. Person A did X with Person B, and suddenly all that is thought is "I want that to happen" and no thought is put into how characters might come to that point.

Like, I've had many people act like their character being pretty and perhaps pitiful was all that was needed, even though romance, true romance and love between characters, no matter what type, needs time and energy.

As I said, romance can be a very beautiful thing. It can be great character development. Seeing two people that had naturally and truly fell deeply in love can be cute.

But I know I might not be in the majority when I say this, but I find most romances way too sappy when done with those cliche scenes. Too shallow and hard to connect to. It is why I don't like most romances, tbh.

 

[JazeraSilverwing]

I have nothing against romance. It’s really nice and can drive a really cute and awesome story. But sometimes it gets really frustrating. Like, it will grate on my nerves when partners assume that just because our characters are compatible genders that they must be destined for each other! I’ve had a few times where through reoccurring rps where we like to pick up with a new plot where we left off, and I’m just like “But he doesn’t even LIKE her!” Or “But he’s not the type to settle down!” And it usually results in my characters trying to kill the other just out of sheer aggravation.

And other times there become unshakable bonds that are just a beautiful creation and you just can’t help but coo over it. Those are really great, they are. As long as it’s not a REQUIREMENT. And I feel like if you do enough of them, it kinda becomesa think to always pair up the characters.

 

[Delzmore]

It's a kinda of thing that is indescribable in my opinion. Like, if you don't have anyone in your life outside of to, why not get that feeling of someone caring for you (even if it's just your character in a roleplay) when you don't normally get that. Yes, I know it's stupid but I did romance rps ALOT when I first started rping. Mainly because I was/still am lonely as heck and I always felt my character was like a small part of me put into a story made between me and another person.

 

[Psyche]

Personally have no issues with the concept of romance roleplays. They can be fun, or entertaining if done correctly. Sadly, all the roleplays that had romance it felt so forced, being together just for the sake of being together despite who incompatible/ridiculous the relationship is. Romance, just to have romance, no other reason what so ever. The ones I joined to give them a try typically went like, "Hey, they're breathing the same air- IT'S ROMANCE!". There's no natural flow, no true events that make them open up to each other, it just comes across as fake or just for the self fulfilment of someone else. There's no actual reason the two should be together, in some of the worst cases with myself, they met each other, and in the next post they are a couple regardless of how sporadic/ridiculous it would be in a real life circumstance.

Don't misunderstand me, romance roleplays can be genuinely interesting/fun if done right. Personally though, found the ratio of good to bad ten to one. A lot of times just seems like a self fulfilment of how the person would personally enjoy a relationship, or way too fast paste. I don't join any any more because it just doesn't seem worth it. Had instances where my character was a complete jerk, and wasn't that attractive but for some reason the other was head over heals for them, right after they just ignored them. No build up, no reason what so ever, except the fact that they were so focused on romance, there was absolutely zero reason for attractions.

Sorry if I rambled on a bit, sometimes get my thoughts jumbled up and tend to write what ever is on my mind, but hopefully you get the gist of what I'm saying.