Take A Favourite Game And Make It Sound Awful.

Stare at a map for hours on end. Maybe click on something. Go back to staring at a map. Want to kill yourself because of the horrendous border-gore.

EU4
 
-Sounds of the d-pad being pressed over and over while the player hugs an awkwardly adorable blob that likes to eat magical jelly beans.-


- A boy and his blob.


Square.


- Thomas was alone.
 
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You're walking along, minding your OWN business, when you trip on a motherf**king branch and fall down a f**king hole. There are freaks EVERYWHERE. OH MY GOD. So, you kill them all, with art that looks like a 5-year-old got into a pixel art app, and then you leave. Gud. Don't forget that f**king talking flower, though. What's up with that sh*t? So, basically, you grind until you get to a boss, kill it, and then more grinding. Or you can not kill anybody and all the mutants try to be your "friend." Yeeeeaaaaah. Suuuuuuure. Frieeeeends...the second I get out of here I'm going to throw some toxic waste down and fill this damn hole with dirt.
 
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You wake up to find that you start out already dead. A god of domination and torture has your soul in his hellish landscape. You escape only to find out later on that the old dude who helped you escape is the reason why this demon god is screwimh everyone over because he listened to an elf who told him he would have unlimited power. Said elf tries screwing over demon god.


You're stuck in the middle cleaning their mess.


(Elder Scrolls Online)
 
Mute steampunk elf gives ungrateful friends a makeover by turning him into a ferret, then kills the only two scientists callable of reversing the makeover.


- Jak & Daxter: Precursor Legacy
 
The really disturbing thing is, inbreeding and even incest is encouraged by the mechanics!

Crusader Kings II
 
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Whoopee Camp presents a wild boy with pink enters a world with wearing almost nothing to defeat pigs all the while pretty much molesting them as you toss them into a bag, and don't forget the many quests you have to do. Just to get a bracelet back that they stole.

 
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Every Battlefield game: Getting that insane 40.00 KDA only to still be outscored by your squad mate that went 2/15.
 
A restless community that always asks for reasonable changes within a game, but developers always ignore them.


Spent 4k on a rifle? Why? There are pistols that are far better. 


You can shoot someone in the head twice, and they don't die.


Everyone is a toxic motherf**ker, and hates the way you speak.


In-game items can cost more than a few thousand dollars, yet they only have cosmetic value.


You can spend 2 bucks on a container, but only break even 90% of the time.


Everyone swears, even that 7-year-old you met in deathmatch.


People who are better than you make lower level accounts just troll people.


Developers focus on the sound of weapons, rather than the problem with hitboxes.


Cheaters are in every gamemode, and the algorithm that's set up so they can dodge reports easily.


Everyone who is better than you will constantly point out how bad you are.


Coordination is practically impossible.


The first five ranks act as a prison, rather than a stepping stone.


Algorithms make it nearly impossible to go up in ranks.


Certain weapons are never viable to use.


Everyone plays the same map.


Everyone uses the same guns.


You'll lose most of your matches because your team is bad.


You're bad.


You're terrible.


You need to stop playing.


Why aren't you stopping.


You hate this game, yet you keep playing.


Why are you spending your birthday money on a cosmetic item?


Why are you trying to play this game like you're a professional?


Stop.


You're wasting time.


Why do you have 900 hours on this game?


Why.

CS:GO



Hah, that was fun.
 
A generic story. A generic person who is captured and randomly finds out he's practically the most powerful being ever. You go off and fight lots of dragons. Oh yeah, you can shout at things, that's exciting.


The game is extremely buggy and glitchy, barely even playable. It's so bad, that the game relies on community bug fixes. Even worse than that, the game company released mod support because they know their game can't compete with top tier games.


-Skyrim
 
Wake up in a super secret base where a guy gets kicked out, Be insulted by the word rabbit, kill your friend who tried to induct you into a knock off Soviet Union, Walk throughout swamp hell, hate the outside, have sex with a sniper,  then commit kamikazi against Nazis.


- Metro Last Light
 
Kill all the old men and steal their campfires.  Murder two cripples, the Neighbourhood watch, a outcast animal lover, a gentle giant, and 30,000 homeless people and their dogs.


-Dark souls 3
 
Nine people try to kill each other by using science, philosophy and mindfuck.


~ Zero Escape Series


Lesbian bartender from the future make shitty cocktails for people also from the future


~ Va-11 Hall-A
 
Um, ok cool.


Let's see... pokémon??


Basically capturing wild creatures and holding them hostage until forcing them to fight each other 'til one blacks out.


:3
 
Summon and posses a person/creature/idek and force them to fight along with 4 other people against a team of 5.


LoL, Dota, etc etc
 
Kill mushrooms, eat mushrooms, save mushrooms.


~ Mario


The game that has flipped so many tables.


~ Basically every Board Game


The Homestuck fandom is freaking the fuck out.


~
30888_amanda_hiveswaplogo-628x200.jpg
 
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Anime girls stop in-universe piracy; this doesn't stop the actual games from being pirated, though.


- pretty much the entire Neptunia series, in technicality


Young girls in purgatory fight friend's dad to stay in purgatory. Staying is the better option, of course.


- Deathsmiles


Shoot young girls, dodge pretty lights.


- most Touhou Project games


Yaoi causes zombie apocalypse. A handful of heavily-armed schoolgirls is the only hope.


- Guns Girl Z
 
Skyrim; walk around aimlessly, spend approximately 4 hours in loading screens and get your sweet rolls stolen apparently. 
 
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Characters putting up with a lot of mental crap because their friends have been outrageously accused of crimes.


-Ace Attorney
 
surprise, youre fuckign dead. good thing you get to participate in a 7 day-long game to win a trip back to the living! 


over the course of the next week you even get to learn how to make friends and appreciate people for who they really are, which you really need, because you're a fucking asshole.


you even get some sweet pins that let you manifest the extent of your imagination into really cool psychokinetic powers.


except, the people who run the game are trying to fucking wipe you out of existence, and keep finding reasons to keep you back for another week, because it turns out jesus is a moody, smarmy teenager who's using you as a chess piece in his own personal game that will ultimately decide whether or not he'll get rid of the entirety of his jurisdiction and the people in it. good fucking luck.  -the world ends with you


cliche friendship and hope saves the day, but not before some of your friends, er, kill each other -dangan ronpa


cliche friendship and hope saves the day, but not before komaeda your friends turn out to be obsessive, batshit crazy, murderers, whose pasts get totally ruined by the anime -dangan ronpa 2


pretend thats not a bit pedophilic -dangan ronpa another episode


ive done almost all i could to avoid spoilers and its not even translated yet but i can still tell you who dies -dangan ronpa 3
 
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