Take A Favourite Game And Make It Sound Awful.

Zombie Apocalypse and Minecraft did the frickity-frackity and have a love child. ~ 7 Days to die.
 
the game forces you to repeatedly murder your favourite characters whilst using the robot apocalypse as an excuse


- overwatch
 
A journey where one decides whether to fight for his birthright or his raised home in an effort to desperately choose best girl that ultimately results in a clash of waifus fighting for the right to have their way with the protagonist whether male or female. Choose between tig ol bitties or onii-chan.


This is... Fire Emblem Birthright/Conquest.
 
'Holy crap boss why dafuq did you leave me in charge a doctor mugged me and then I was reemployed by force haha whoops'


-The Arcana
 
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Oh look a big cute yellow mouse, better posion paralyze and put it to sleep and then throw balls at it until I can trap it in a container that forces it into a space it's 10x bigger than, then stuff it into a box because gotta catch em all
 
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your life is crap, forced to join some weird magic cult that drinks demon blood, they all get killed, try to save the world while everyone tries to kill you


dragon age origins
 
Some nukes get dropped and you are in an ice coma for like, I don't know over 100 years or something. Your coma ends and your wife gets shot and your little accident you call a son gets stolen. Then for some reason your coma starts again.


You wake up and ask a robot and a crazy reporter for help finding your good for nothing son. When you find him he is super old and then you can blow up the IT center he works at and he dies from cancer.


-Fallout 4
 
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You turn 11 years old to head out in the world alone with no weapons, get some animal to dog fight with for money, and rip poor creatures from the wild to add to your six slotted collection. Only to dog fight with professionals for badges of shittery, and then go off to become the dog fighting master.


- Practically every pokemon game except for spin offs and pokemon go.
 
Life sucks and no matter what you do - you WILL die in a violent way, and you will suffer a lot before, during, or after death. Perhaps a mix of them all. And no matter whether you're a peasant or a king, you will suffer, you will die, you will be forgotten by the immensly cold, uncaring galaxy you live in. And you're probably going to get eaten by Tyranids.


Also, I did not make it sound awful. I just described it:


Warhammer 40k
 
Birdsie said:
Life sucks and no matter what you do - you WILL die in a violent way, and you will suffer a lot before, during, or after death. Perhaps a mix of them all. And no matter whether you're a peasant or a king, you will suffer, you will die, you will be forgotten by the immensly cold, uncaring galaxy you live in. And you're probably going to get eaten by Tyranids.


Also, I did not make it sound awful. I just described it:


Warhammer 40k
Click to expand...



This is blasphemous understatement. 
 
Crypt of the necrodancer: you play as a girl who begins digging in a graveyard, breaks through the cave of some guys dwelling and hit your head on a rock, killing yourself and despite the fact he revives you through necromancy your determined to slaughter all his friends, family, loved ones and steal all his stuff...only to be killed by bullpoop because the game didnt give you any healing items whatsoever in the first area


Shantae: Risky boots is almost impossible to defeat the first time and the coin system is difficult at best and seems arbitrary on if you get any.


Shantea risky's revenge: your screwed from the begining to the end, no matter what


Shantae and the pirates curse: screw you rottytops! You could walk the whole time and you got us killed constantly! Screeeeeeewwwwwww yoooooouuuu!!!!


Shantae half genie hero: pretty good up till the tower...just...come on! Couldnt the worm go slower?! And dont get me started on the hypnobaron's castle! And seriously risky?! I thought we were friends!


Yandere simulator: first rival still isint implimented, you dont get caught for throwing gasoline on random people and lighting them on fire infront of the whole school, making kokona fried chicken, a girl is tortured by yandere dev to be the punching bag for murderous rampages and the oka cola tastes weird!
 
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It's just a scam for your money, they say it's free to play but that's because they want to reel you in. Then they steal your money, and your life.


Team fortress two in a nutshell.
 
You're a dude disguised as another dude that fights a zombie cowboy known for his owl impressions. Also, one of the first couple of trailers spoils the entire twist for the game.


-Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
 
Survive an explosion and have your arm start glowing like green radiation, everyone hates your guts. Prove innocence, gather a volunteer militia and save the world... Everyone hates your guts and calls you a tyrant. (Also, periodically pissing off your various teammates along the way.)

Get your arm chopped off very painfully while preventing another explosion... No one believes you, still hate your guts.

DA: Inquisition
 
You learn about giant metal space squids hellbent on destroying all civilized alien life, proceed to kill guy trying to let them in to kill people with their laser ink! Bang a couple people and maybe an alien


-Mass Effect 1


You die by weird alien bugs who are also trying to bring the giant metal space squids to destroy everyone. Look badass while you do so. Bang even more Aliens


-Mass Effect 2


Well you're fucked, the Giant Metal Space Squids came and are killing everyone so you must Bang.... I mean unite the galaxy to kill Space Squids and the while banging every alien. Also it's confirmed they shoot Ink lasers.


Did I mention you bang even more aliens?


You also say when leaving conversations "I Should Go." A lot as well.


Then you get a shitty ending ((Choices)) if you didn't buy the Dlc ending which is spreading your Dna to everyone.


-Mass Effect 3 ("We'll Bang, Okay?")
 
You wake up on a bed on a wall that has been blown to shit. The ground is now the sky, and so you head to "the safe place" only to find that it's also blown to shit, and no one else is there because they were also blown to shit. Everything is utterly fucked.


You head into the wilderness to get precious crystals to fix the safe place while every living thing, and a fair amount of non-living things, relentlessly hunt you down.


An aged cowboy remarks on your progress and reminisces about the "old days" in his southern drawl while you do all the work and risk your life.


 - Bastion
 
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You get attacked by power-hungry conspirators who try to download your soul with a giant sword-shaped flash drive. Your boyfriend jumps in the way and gets stabbed instead of you, which ruins the bad guys' plan, and they lose control of their flash drive and run away. The flash drive was the only thing holding the city together, so now crazy glitch-monsters are rampaging around and destroying everything.


Instead of using the flash drive to fix the problem, you use it to track down and murder each of the four conspirators who attacked you.

Except two of them beat you to the punch and kill themselves because they realize they're awful human beings.



You hug the flash drive a lot to try to feel comfort, but all that is left of Mr. Right is his voice speaking from inside the flash drive. You fail to feel any kind of human comfort ever again.

You then kill yourself to be with your boyfriend because revenge was all you had left. The city is fucked.



 - Transistor
 
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You play as a chunk of meat leaking cow-blood everywhere while trying desperately to just get a bandaid.


- Super Meat Boy
 
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