Viewpoint Do you ever play the opposite gender? Do you prefer it?

[AnimeGenork]

For a while, I usually just played female characters since I'm female and I'm pretty used to that. But since I like writing stories with multiple perspectives, I started to take on more and more roles as a male character. There was actually a time when I was making more male characters than female XD For some reason, I'm better at playing flirty characters when they're male??? Haha.

Now I try to keep it pretty balanced, if only because I like playing multiple characters and therefore like to keep the sexes/genders of my characters balanced.

Since nearly a year has passed since I responded to this, I've noticed something

Whenever I want to roleplay canon ships

I (pretty much) ALWAYS want to play the male character

I just thought that was funny

 

[kevintheradioguy]

edited to be a little clearer.

Romance roleplayers are not using this as a dating site. Most of them don't give a fuck what your real life gender is as long as you can write a good character that suits the plot. Unless the person is obviously looking to date you in real life (in which case your problem is a lot bigger than your real life genitalia) I wouldn't worry about it.

Also as I mentioned above - fictional women are equal to fictional men when it comes to their portrayal. In writing fiction as long as your character fits the setting and is consistent (i.e. don't make them shy yet also super social, don't make them afraid of magic in a world where magic is common place) than your fine.

Because most people aren't writing a roleplay to recreate strict gender norms of real life. They're writing for escapism. So they aren't going to want characters that act exactly like real people anyway, they're going to want characters that fit whatever fantasy the roleplay is about.

So your far better off just asking your partner what kind of relationship they want the roleplay to focus on and making your judgements from there on whether or not you can hold up your end of the relationship dynamic.

I think you didn't get what I was exactly implying there.

It just so happens that there are much more guys who pretend to be girls to lead whether gay women or straight men on, and so generally you are looked weird at when you are a guy, and you play a woman. You might say all you want about that, but I've seen the faces, and I'm yet not to get the "dude, are you serious" or "this is disgusting" look; or even "no, I am not going to play/DM a dude playing a gal".

You are expected to be a pervert if you play as a lady while being a man, and I dislike being expected that.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I think you didn't get what I was exactly implying there.

It just so happens that there are much more guys who pretend to be girls to lead whether gay women or straight men on, and so generally you are looked weird at when you are a guy, and you play a woman. You might say all you want about that, but I've seen the faces, and I'm yet not to get the "dude, are you serious" or "this is disgusting" look; or even "no, I am not going to play/DM a dude playing a gal".

You are expected to be a pervert if you play as a lady while being a man, and I dislike being expected that.

No you aren't, at least not unless your partner wants to date you in real life (in which case again you have a far bigger problem on your hands than gender politics). 90% of romance roleplayers on this site aren't looking to date their roleplay partners. So they don't give a flying fuck what your gender is as long as you write a decent character.

It seems you have had the bad luck to run into the 10% who think this is a dating site and have treated your accordingly. But they are by no means the majority nor are they representative of how most people will act.

People aren't going to think your a pervert or leading them on for playing a woman. Because most people don't think the person their roleplaying with is their real life romantic partner.

 

[kevintheradioguy]

People aren't going to think your a pervert or leading them on for playing a woman. Because most people don't think the person their roleplaying with is their real life romantic partner.

Well, to me it seems you talk about how things should logically be.
But that is not always how they are.

 

[LegoLad659]

I've seen the faces, and I'm yet not to get the "dude, are you serious" or "this is disgusting" look; or even "no, I am not going to play/DM a dude playing a gal".

No you aren't

Please don't disregard another person's experience as if it doesn't exist. You have no proof that's not what happened, and it's disrespectful to claim otherwise

 

[rae2nerdy]

Well, to me it seems you talk about how things should logically be.
But that is not always how they are.

No I am telling you that is how they are. I am exclusively a 1x1 roleplayer so I talk to A LOT of people who do romance style roleplays. None of them assume any man who plays a woman is a pervert. They will however talk about men who treat roleplaying like a dating site and how skeevy they are.

But again this is not them saying - "Any man who plays a woman is a creep!" It's "That man was a creep and here's his username so he doesn't perv on you too."

So the fact that you have run into people who are immature does not mean that everyone is immature.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Please don't disregard another person's experience as if it doesn't exist. You have no proof that's not what happened, and it's disrespectful to claim otherwise

I didn't. If you read the full of my post you would see that. I am merely stating that his experience is absolute. That I have seen first hand several instances which directly contradict it.

 

[LegoLad659]

I didn't. If you read the full of my post you would see that. I am merely stating that his experience is absolute. That I have seen first hand several instances which directly contradict it.

And? People are different. You will meet different people than he has. His experience isn't invalid just because you had a different one

 

[rae2nerdy]

And? People are different. You will meet different people than he has. His experience isn't invalid just because you had a different one

I DID NOT SAY IT WAS INVALID. Do not put words in my mouth. I said that his experience was not the ONLY one. That is not saying his experience did not exist only that there are people who disagree/think differently.

 

[LegoLad659]

I DID NOT SAY IT WAS INVALID.

No you aren't

No I am telling you that is how they are.

 

[rae2nerdy]

.

You know what. Don't start shit with me on this thread. I don't have time to deal with assholes who think they're clever. Don't contact me again.

 

[obieblu]

If you want to know how to play a female properly it's very simple. Treat her like a human being not a sex doll. Does your character exist solely to be a sexual object for men? Than she's a bad character. Does she have a personality/backstory/hobbies/and world view that fit with the setting of the roleplay? Congratulations you've made a good female character.

Well, I'm gay, so I don't think of women as sex dolls nor do I have any interest in roleplaying a female sex doll. So, maybe there's a more complex thinking process behind my statement. Just maybe...

I'm quite active collaborating with authors and beta-reading for one of the interactive fiction app companies. A frequent topic of debate in their forums is allowing readers to select the gender of NPCs. While it would be advantageous to their hours/income ratio to just switch pronouns and physical descriptions, the sentiment that dominates is that giving a character that was written as a man long hair and a different name doesn't make him a viable woman. There's endless debate on what should be changed between genders, which just turns into a big tangle of anti-stereotypes, social justice initiatives, the validity of generalized gender roles in realistic settings, psychology, physiology, internal motivations versus societies' directives, etc. I don't participate, but I read those debates, and even the female author majority doesn't seem to reach a actionable consensus on the procedure for a man to write a female character, or vise versa. I don't think that this is at all a 'simple' thing to do well.

I've played agendered characters before it was even a word we were all supposed to know. 'He', as he was in-game directed to present as, had no sentiments of gender, sex, or romance. His motivations and life plan were very foreign, and I had a lot of fun playing as that. I feel like that's what a female character of mine would be like, if I had interest in playing one. For those common components of humanity, I'd actually feel kind of trapped between playing stereotypical traits, arbitrarily defying stereotypical traits, or copying women I know well or characters from media. The second two require me to feel like I can guess accurately at why they do the things that they do, when I don't really know in real life if my best friend really wanted to get married and have kids because she really wanted to or because she's a anxious wreck who didn't think she could live life on her own terms. After 20 years, I don't know. I'd be projecting things like this onto my female characters, and then feel like I'd need to mansplain them to themselves. Or, just genderless with a female form.

Also, back in an open chat setting, I'd very frequently be able to tell when a male character was being played by a girl. I'll describe it like I could tell they were playing their own version of what they thought a man was. Sort of like how a dudebros seem to be able to tell that I'm not really a dudebro in the occasions I find myself at a sports bar or pulled into some sports game and try to fit in.

So, no, I don't think it's a natural gift for people to seamlessly RP or author characters of the opposite gender, and I don't feel like "any old human" will fit the bill when inserted behind a faceclaim. But, I don't have much interest in playing a female char, so it's more of a passing curiosity to see what authors suggest to other authors about it. I don't think I'm good at playing a woman, not because I can't imagine a woman being an well-rounded human, it's that I actually don't think I'd live up to my own standards of accurate representation that would do a woman justice.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Well, I'm gay, so I don't think of women as sex dolls nor do I have any interest in roleplaying a female sex doll. So, maybe there's a more complex thinking process behind my statement. Just maybe...

I'm quite active collaborating with authors and beta-reading for one of the interactive fiction app companies. A frequent topic of debate in their forums is allowing readers to select the gender of NPCs. While it would be advantageous to their hours/income ratio to just switch pronouns and physical descriptions, the sentiment that dominates is that giving a character that was written as a man long hair and a different name doesn't make him a viable woman. There's endless debate on what should be changed between genders, which just turns into a big tangle of anti-stereotypes, social justice initiatives, the validity of generalized gender roles in realistic settings, psychology, physiology, internal motivations versus societies' directives, etc. I don't participate, but I read those debates, and even the female author majority doesn't seem to reach a actionable consensus on the procedure for a man to write a female character, or vise versa. I don't think that this is at all a 'simple' thing to do well.

I've played agendered characters before it was even a word we were all supposed to know. 'He', as he was in-game directed to present as, had no sentiments of gender, sex, or romance. His motivations and life plan were very foreign, and I had a lot of fun playing as that. I feel like that's what a female character of mine would be like, if I had interest in playing one. For those common components of humanity, I'd actually feel kind of trapped between playing stereotypical traits, arbitrarily defying stereotypical traits, or copying women I know well or characters from media. The second two require me to feel like I can guess accurately at why they do the things that they do, when I don't really know in real life if my best friend really wanted to get married and have kids because she really wanted to or because she's a anxious wreck who didn't think she could live life on her own terms. After 20 years, I don't know. I'd be projecting things like this onto my female characters, and then feel like I'd need to mansplain them to themselves. Or, just genderless with a female form.

Also, back in an open chat setting, I'd very frequently be able to tell when a male character was being played by a girl. I'll describe it like I could tell they were playing their own version of what they thought a man was. Sort of like how a dudebros seem to be able to tell that I'm not really a dudebro in the occasions I find myself at a sports bar or pulled into some sports game and try to fit in.

So, no, I don't think it's a natural gift for people to seamlessly RP or author characters of the opposite gender, and I don't feel like "any old human" will fit the bill when inserted behind a faceclaim. But, I don't have much interest in playing a female char, so it's more of a passing curiosity to see what authors suggest to other authors about it. I don't think I'm good at playing a woman, not because I can't imagine a woman being an well-rounded human, it's that I actually don't think I'd live up to my own standards of accurate representation that would do a woman justice.

I wasn’t accusing you I was just stating that people tend to overthink the issue.

It happens a lot in this very thread and you are far from the only person I have given this exact same advice too.

Nor do I imagine you will be the last.

I am not saying that you have to take the advice, no one cares ultimately if you play a specific gender.

But other people might appreciate the reminder that it isn’t as big a deal as they might make it out to be in their head.

PS : the sex doll thing was sarcasm which admittedly doesn’t translate well without being explicitly stated online. It was in reference to the notoriously silly way male romance writers write their characters.

Ex. She breasted boobily down the stairs.

That would fall under purple prose in roleplays though and be a part of a totally separate issue not related to character gender.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Well, I'm gay, so I don't think of women as sex dolls nor do I have any interest in roleplaying a female sex doll. So, maybe there's a more complex thinking process behind my statement. Just maybe...

I'm quite active collaborating with authors and beta-reading for one of the interactive fiction app companies. A frequent topic of debate in their forums is allowing readers to select the gender of NPCs. While it would be advantageous to their hours/income ratio to just switch pronouns and physical descriptions, the sentiment that dominates is that giving a character that was written as a man long hair and a different name doesn't make him a viable woman. There's endless debate on what should be changed between genders, which just turns into a big tangle of anti-stereotypes, social justice initiatives, the validity of generalized gender roles in realistic settings, psychology, physiology, internal motivations versus societies' directives, etc. I don't participate, but I read those debates, and even the female author majority doesn't seem to reach a actionable consensus on the procedure for a man to write a female character, or vise versa. I don't think that this is at all a 'simple' thing to do well.

I've played agendered characters before it was even a word we were all supposed to know. 'He', as he was in-game directed to present as, had no sentiments of gender, sex, or romance. His motivations and life plan were very foreign, and I had a lot of fun playing as that. I feel like that's what a female character of mine would be like, if I had interest in playing one. For those common components of humanity, I'd actually feel kind of trapped between playing stereotypical traits, arbitrarily defying stereotypical traits, or copying women I know well or characters from media. The second two require me to feel like I can guess accurately at why they do the things that they do, when I don't really know in real life if my best friend really wanted to get married and have kids because she really wanted to or because she's a anxious wreck who didn't think she could live life on her own terms. After 20 years, I don't know. I'd be projecting things like this onto my female characters, and then feel like I'd need to mansplain them to themselves. Or, just genderless with a female form.

Also, back in an open chat setting, I'd very frequently be able to tell when a male character was being played by a girl. I'll describe it like I could tell they were playing their own version of what they thought a man was. Sort of like how a dudebros seem to be able to tell that I'm not really a dudebro in the occasions I find myself at a sports bar or pulled into some sports game and try to fit in.

So, no, I don't think it's a natural gift for people to seamlessly RP or author characters of the opposite gender, and I don't feel like "any old human" will fit the bill when inserted behind a faceclaim. But, I don't have much interest in playing a female char, so it's more of a passing curiosity to see what authors suggest to other authors about it. I don't think I'm good at playing a woman, not because I can't imagine a woman being an well-rounded human, it's that I actually don't think I'd live up to my own standards of accurate representation that would do a woman justice.

1. The advice was just that general advice.

2. It boils down to this is a fun pastime for 99% of people on this site. They don’t care if you make a hundred percent real world realistic character ONLY that the character fits the setting.

3. The sex doll thing was a joke. Which admittedly I should have specified so that was my bad.

You don’t want to play women that’s fine. No one really cares.

This wasn’t meant to change your mind so much as show you (and the lurkers in this thread) that there is another way to look at things.

You just happened to get chosen as the individual to get the advice specifically but honestly it applies pretty universally.

 

[Tove]

Wow.

 

[obieblu]

Yeesh.

1. The advice was just that general advice.

Not needed by me. But you quoted me, so...

2. It boils down to this is a fun pastime for 99% of people on this site. They don’t care if you make a hundred percent real world realistic character ONLY that the character fits the setting.

Well, I don't crowdsource my opinions and gratification, so...

3. The sex doll thing was a joke. Which admittedly I should have specified so that was my bad.

I didn't think you were implying I'd play a literal sex doll, but your tone was snide enough (and common enough on such topics) that I did infer an accusation about misogyny at work in my mind.

You don’t want to play women that’s fine. No one really cares.

Your quote and reply to me suggested otherwise. I'd work on better aligning your actions with yours sentiments, if I were you. You know how easy it is for strangers to make inaccurate assumptions online.

This wasn’t meant to change your mind so much as show you (and the lurkers in this thread) that there is another way to look at things. You just happened to get chosen as the individual to get the advice specifically but honestly it applies pretty universally.

Yeah, let's not use me as a study aide in the future. Or don't quote me so I don't get notified. Thanks! I'm done here.

 

[anabiel]

I used to strictly play female characters because I was young and thought "write what you know" was all you could do, but years of writing regular fiction cleared me of that. Now I see little difference in genders -- characters are just characters.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I used to strictly play female characters because I was young and thought "write what you know" was all you could do, but years of writing regular fiction cleared me of that. Now I see little difference in genders -- characters are just characters.

Off topic but that is the coolest way to spell Anabel I’ve ever seen.

 

[-Ari-]

anabiel Same with me. I used to always play as females, but it's only recently (as in, 2 months ago) that I began experimenting with male characters, and in many ways I've found it to be liberating. With female characters, I tend to mirror them after myself, so it gets tiresome playing "me" all of the time. With male characters, I'm a little more detached from their actions and personalities, which gives me the creative freedom to veer in all sorts of directions, since I can be as crazy as I want with them. For females, it's harder for me to break the mold of patterning them after myself, but I hope to work on that.

 

[CabalAnomicPotato]

Oh this one is a bit difficult for me to answer, eheh.

When I started roleplaying I obviously wasn't the best; I'm not exactly the best today either, but that lack of expertise kept me away from roleplaying as the opposite gender.

Fastfoward a bit and the reasoning kind of just changes, for example as someone may or may not have already mentioned here, because from a psuchological standpoint men and women usually have different drives, desires, thought processes, etc (and thats discluding the process of forming gender identity, something more so discussed in sociology if you'fe interested), I'd often just fear that because of my being-a-guyness, I would inheriently be at a disadvantage when trying to roleplay a female character.

Nowadays when I do roleplay I tend not to care as much, because at the end of the day character development in roleplay is alot broader than gender or sex, and finding creative ways to break or reshape the stipulations is exiting and fun

 

[Meso Rawmen]

I used to only play my gender, but over time, I started playing a bit of the opposite and I actually prefer it now!

 

[That Lass Over There]

I have a funny tale of my own to tell regarding why I almost exclusively play female characters as a real life male. Excluding my misandry, that came after the playing females thing.

Strap yourselves in for this grand epic.

So 7 year-old Guy was pretty obsessed with MMOs. Specifically, he was obsessed with fashion in MMOs. He liked his characters looking damn fine. While ThatGirlOverThere was playing with barbies and dressing them up, he was grinding crafting skills for forty hours for that fancy waistcoat. One day, while playing a certain anime inspired MMO, he was corrupted with one unfathomable truth: all of the female item skins looked like ten times better than the lazily created male item skins. From that day forth, he saw this pattern in most games he played; female characters just had more cool looking stuff than male characters did (he would later learn this was for something called 'sex appeal', which he has yet to understand to this day due to the troubles of an asexual person).

Naturally, being the sort of boy that he was, he made his first female character, spending twenty hours on the minimal slider system, trying to get the best look for what he had in mind. He never turned back, and somehow that bias towards female characters that had been formed over the matter of fashion and aesthetics carried all the way over to his first roleplay. And then the next. And then images for characters was discovered through RPN, which just absolutely sparked that side of him. Such was what started the spiral of Guy playing girls. Now, he plays them for much more different reasons, but he likes keeping things happy and as such will not share such depressing tales.

 

[Emotional Enigma]

I've always only played women because it's always what I've had a craving for; male x woman pairings. I would love to try playing a male main character some time, I've played male side characters a lot so I have some experience.

 

[InsaneAsylum]

I always make female characters. They always end up far better than any male I make.

I do make male NPCs a lot though.

 

[jojoson]

i play any gender and enjoy doing so. i think some peeps get caught up in gender roles and stereotypical traits (whether they're aware of it or not) but i just kinda.... make a personality around whatever has inspired me and then decide what gender i'm gonna assign to it, and voila!