Viewpoint My age is making RP impossible.

[Gowi]

I have to agree with Bells of Nevermore, by not interacting with minors online is a healthy thing to consider but if I am approached by one looking for advice in writing, I would be pleased to help but out interactions would be as that.

I mean, if you want to be cautious that's up to you. But I don't exactly look for people's age when recruiting for group RPs or 1x1 checks, I find it invasive to ask personal questions or "vet" people too much.

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

I do ask. And I do ask people to move on if they are a minor. I'm not nasty about it, I just state my boundaries.

 

[VyotteVylicious]

I ask them too and I just declined kindly, and never once I had a problem with it. Thankfully, they were understanding.

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

And this is the thing: I am 54. And if someone goes 'Yikes, too old', I am happy to accept that with grace. No one is saying things like 'you should not be on this site due to your age'.

 

[Gowi]

Everyone has different values and experiences.

 

[Lurker]

OP age is just one of those things. I used to be 13-15 and thought I was super mature and everyone else was just misjudging me and hated the whole 18+ thing.

Now I'm 23 and realize I was not mature in the slightest and understand why people didn't want to interact with me. You'll understand it too one day. I work for the state as well. It just looks...Weird if I'm having private conversations with minors. I don't have anything against minors though and the people that have those requirements probably don't either. It's nothing personal.

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

Precisely what Lurker said. I'm down for people picking my brain and learning things from me. Just not doing things I feel to be inappropriate. I feel RPing with a minor to be that very thing.

 

[rosiphaura]

In my opinion, this is something you're going to have to deal with. this isn't something that's set in stone either, some people will roleplay with you while others will be uncomfortable around you and your age. You have to understand that RPing is quite intimate for most people in here and I'd say a big part of us are introverted which just makes the experience even more important. Having said that you're going to have to deal with this on a case by case manner.

I think the biggest problem you have now is that the way you brought this to our attention wasn't the best, you came off as a bit immature and a bit full of yourself in that first post, I don't know you so I can't say at all but that's the first impression you gave me.

Advice? I would suggest being upfront about it. Tell people your age and ask if they're comfortable RPing with you, honesty builds trust. It also greatly depends on the type of roleplay you want to do. I'd completely abstain of anything remotely similar to romance so people don't get uncomfortable as often.

I wish you luck!

 

[RP-Missy]

Hello, I was curious if you provide writing samples to 'sell yourself' and your ability?

I've most often found I can tell when someone is 20 years or younger based on immaturity and lack of writing ability. If I saw a writing sample from someone I thought was good. I wouldn't care if they are 15 or 48. I don't write N.S.F.W so their IRL age is never an issue for me.

 

[ashwynne]

I've been roleplaying since I was 12 and by the time I was 15/16 I was routinely writing with people well into their 20's. Age sometimes came up, usually didn't. There was never smut or inappropriate content, it was purely storytelling. Never had an issue with any of those people, they never had an issue with me.

If you can write, you can write. Obviously age, experience and maturity factor into it... but if you are truly a competent writer then that should not be a determining factor. I prefer to write with people my age or older, but that's largely because our schedules and expectations for reply times tend to align as we're in similar life stages. If people under 18 contact me and have competent writing then I'm not going to turn them away arbitrarily.

If, however, they seem arrogant or off-putting then I'm going to turn them down regardless of age. Writing compatibility isn't only about writing competency, it also comes down to how well writer personalities mesh.

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

Hello, I was curious if you provide writing samples to 'sell yourself' and your ability?

I've most often found I can tell when someone is 20 years or younger based on immaturity and lack of writing ability. If I saw a writing sample from someone I thought was good. I wouldn't care if they are 15 or 48. I don't write N.S.F.W so their IRL age is never an issue for me.

If you mean me, I absolutely do. However, if someone is expecting me to 'prove it', I might decline because I don't have anything to prove. I am published and my editor is one of the foremost people in my genre. And he's working with me pro bono because he's that much into my work.

 

[Gowi]

I've been roleplaying since I was 12 and by the time I was 15/16 I was routinely writing with people well into their 20's. Age sometimes came up, usually didn't. There was never smut or inappropriate content, it was purely storytelling. Never had an issue with any of those people, they never had an issue with me.

If you can write, you can write. Obviously age, experience and maturity factor into it... but if you are truly a competent writer then that should not be a determining factor. I prefer to write with people my age or older, but that's largely because our schedules and expectations for reply times tend to align as we're in similar life stages. If people under 18 contact me and have competent writing then I'm not going to turn them away arbitrarily.

If, however, they seem arrogant or off-putting then I'm going to turn them down regardless of age. Writing compatibility isn't only about writing competency, it also comes down to how well writer personalities mesh.

Agree with pretty much everything here. It is also very similar to my own life experiences online in the medium.

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

Nothing changes for me; still not RPing with under 18. But I say again I'm happy to help writers improve in the craft.

 

[ashwynne]

Nothing changes for me; still not RPing with under 18. But I say again I'm happy to help writers improve in the craft.

I don't think anyone here is in it to change your mind. It's a discussion thread so people are here to share their thoughts. You're free to agree or disagree with anyone and the same goes for everyone else. It all just comes down to personal preference and comfort levels c:

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

There has been a touch of push-back, but that died off as people came to understand my stance and why it's the way it is. One thing I do love really is to take someone under my wing and help them develop their talent. It's a good feeling to see someone who had some rough edges really blossom in the craft and find their 'voice'. It's a win-win: they learn stuff and I get cool things to read! ♥

 

[ashwynne]

Oh, I'm sure plenty of people still disagree with you. I mean... I disagree, but that doesn't mean you're not entitled to feel the way you do. I could go on about further reasons why I don't find age to be a reliable metric for choosing not to write with someone, but there's really no point when both sides are firm in their stance. Especially since it's just a personal choice.

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

I don't know if you saw, but I am 54. I have been RPing overall since 1978, the old D&D paper books. My first online experience was through the old BBS systems in the late 80. I have lots and lots and lots of experiences that formed my feelings on this. I have never had a RP with someone under 18 work out after I hit about 25ish. It's both choice and experience in my case. I honestly prefer my partners to be 25+, though I've had some partners around 20 do okay. My perfect partner age would be a lot over than most folks on the RP sites, I suspect.

But hey, at least this thread has been a reasonable discussion, rather than the shrieky, edgelord dogpiling I got when this subject came up on Iwaku. I straight got attacked and called ageist.

 

[Gowi]

It is a little ageist, even if you have your reasons. I'm not surprised Iwaku reacted more assertive towards it, but at the end of the day we are all hobbyist writers so we should find some common ground instead of decry others on instinct. Just because I disagree with someone doesn't make them a bad person or I a holder of the "correct" opinion. Tribalism has no place in our medium.

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

This was not 'assertive'. This was nasty. And sorry, wanting to maintain a healthy boundary is not ageist. I don't owe someone under 18 roleplay for the asking.

 

[Lg781227]

I inboxed you

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

Me? I don't see anything...

 

[Daisie]

Bells of Nevermore Gowi
Alright guys, let's ease off a bit, here. Everyone's got their own opinions on things, let's not become aggressive towards one another. RpNation is a safe environment, so let's work to keep it that way, yes?

 

[calypso]

I don't think it's ageist. It's not because these people dislike younger writers and people in general, it's just about what you're doing. It's not a job or a professional relationship where you work for them -- It's an online friendship with writing. And if romance is involved, it's perfectly okay to feel uncomfortable writing it with a minor. Yes, you're not writing about the player themselves, but the themes can be uncomfortable when you know the person behind the monitor is way younger than you.

 

[Emotional Enigma]

I am one of the people who will not RP with someone below the age of 18. I like a fair amount of romance and it's weird when I know the person behind the screen isn't a legal adult. It helps move the RP along when my partner is an adult because I feel like theres world knowledge that when you're young, you just don't know (at no fault of your own). And while its mostly just small details, nothing too major, my RPs are built on the details so it can irk me

 

[PotatoCakes]

If I may politely express myself, as this conversation is quite interesting.

I don’t believe politely turning down a partner under the age of 18 is a form of ageism. Why? Because I’ve been on the receiving end of ageism and being degraded. And it does not appear to me that those who do not want to roleplay with a partner under the age of 18 are partaking in that, they’re expressing what they’re comfortable with. It doesn’t at all translate that they hold negative thoughts or opinions on roleplayers under the age of 18.

The best way to find a good comparison of what is and what is not ageism is by using the metaphor of a cup of tea as an example.

Let’s say I offer you a cup of tea, but you do not feel like having a cup.

So, you politely decline and say “No, I would not like this cup of tea, but thank you for your offer!”

Now ageism would be more along the lines of you saying something like “I do not want this disgusting cup of tea, it is ignorant and beneath me because it was made five minutes ago.” The difference being is that there is actual insult and degrading towards the cup of tea.
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