Experiences Does writing calm you or stress you out?

[Dreamtique]

Hello! I am quite interested to know if there are any people who are busy with work/studies that are anxious about involving themselves in any mini creative projects as well! It has been my struggle for a while, and I noticed there is this anxiety surrounding my involvement in RPs again, being a slow & inefficient writer makes this anxiety a little worse. For now, I will toy with the idea of starting slow and small, or maybe simply be more patient until I have much more free time to try something again.

So, does writing calm you or stress you out?

I noticed writing can be relaxing for some rather than a stressful task as perceived by me. I think it is rather interesting what you mentally associate with writing really can change the enjoyability of the process. My main drive has always been storytelling and exploring ideas, but typing everything out felt more like a chore for me.

It's a quite specific possible cause but it might have something to do with how I write or use English only in the most formal scenarios. I never really read novels for entertainment, or do anything fun with the language, writing for me has always been associated with school tests or assignments. (I do think native speakers can also feel stressed or maybe just unmotivated at typing things out tho.)

So ya... I am a little frustrated as I am writing this but now I am curious!

 

[Edric Blight]

Gotta say it usually calms me since I use writing as an escape from the stresses of the real world.

 

[Dreamtique]

Gotta say it usually calms me since I use writing as an escape from the stresses of the real world.

I got a similar reply from someone as well, almost word for word when I told them how I felt like I had to rush to finish my character sheet. They are the one who pointed out how I was being very anxious when I tried to join their rp, and that was when I noticed how I have this anxiety, and how writing can actually be a comforting thing.

 

[Edric Blight]

I got a similar reply from someone as well, almost word for word when I told them how I felt like I had to rush to finish my character sheet. They are the one who pointed out how I was being very anxious when I tried to join their rp, and that was when I noticed how I have this anxiety, and how writing can actually be a comforting thing.

Yea I get that. I have major anxiety so I feel that I use writing and stuff to calm me down.

 

[Syntra]

Depends on how it goes. When I have fun with it, it calms me down and makes me happy. When I have a writer's block, it can be super super stressful, though! That's why I am mindful about not writing when I find myself in such a state; I don't want to start disliking the hobby, and I know that would happen if I forced myself.

 

[Dreamtique]

Depends on how it goes. When I have fun with it, it calms me down and makes me happy. When I have a writer's block, it can be super super stressful, though! That's why I am mindful about not writing when I find myself in such a state; I don't want to start disliking the hobby, and I know that would happen if I forced myself.

I see...
For my case, I have ideas that I wish to try, but I have to hold myself back, cuz I feel like I have to choose between real life obligations and my creative projects. I never really force myself to a point that I'll hate the hobby, I force myself for the exact opposite reason, cuz I don't feel ready to leave the hobby yet. I have some of the fondest memories here, so I don't think I am able to just leave and stop trying.

 

[nerdy tangents]

So part of it might also be that your writing something in a language that your not comfortable with overall. Not to say you aren't skilled (your writing is perfectly understandable and well constructed). It's just that if you are more used to the language from a school perspective then that's going to be harder to write in a less formal setting.

I am not fluent in any language other then English but I do have family members who speak Spanish as a second language. None of them read novels in the language or watch TV in the language. So it would likely be incredibly difficult for them to roleplay in that language for those reasons.

I think most people on this site have a pretty informal relationship with English because it's the only language they know. So it's obviously going to be easier for them to be calmed by it because their not putting any particular work into producing results. That does not mean you as a writer are less skilled just that you are putting more work to produce the same level of results. And if they had to put in the same level of work their own association would likely be very different as well.


Now to answer the actual question yeah I do find writing to be calming, the same with watching TV or reading books. It is a easy bit of escapism that lets me get away from my problems and do something low stakes for a few minutes at a time.

 

[Idea]

For me it's neither. For me writing is an exercise of effort, focus and a mix of excitement, as well as an exercise in creativity. My writing is a mixture of a sort of "problem solving", attending to the needs of the narrative (story, character, setting, post flow...) and a translation of the ideas that I come up either naturally or in the process of finding a solution to the aforementioned problem solving. Thus I might get excited about the ideas I come up with, to see where the story is going, or in anticipation of the potential replies from my partner/fellow players, and even if I'm not excited I'm likely to simply concentrated - not the feeling of urgency or confusion from stress, nor calm as I am exerting myself regardless.

Now this isn't to say there aren't any stressing times in writing for me, but those are usually more due to surrounding circumstances, like being an inch away from finishing a post and also having 2 minutes to leave the house. In the end of the day, the two sentiments above are what really form the bulk of it for me though.

One thing I should note in addition to this however, is that I'm not the type to seek immediate gratification from writing. It's nice if I can have it, but ultimately I prefer to enjoy the finished product, to look proudly upon what I've made. The focus and effort of the writing isn't always pleasant, but the satisfaction that comes with seeing what comes out of it more than makes up for that.

 

[Dreamtique]

So part of it might also be that your writing something in a language that your not comfortable with overall. Not to say you aren't skilled (your writing is perfectly understandable and well constructed). It's just that if you are more used to the language from a school perspective then that's going to be harder to write in a less formal setting.

I am not fluent in any language other then English but I do have family members who speak Spanish as a second language. None of them read novels in the language or watch TV in the language. So it would likely be incredibly difficult for them to roleplay in that language for those reasons.

I think most people on this site have a pretty informal relationship with English because it's the only language they know. So it's obviously going to be easier for them to be calmed by it because their not putting any particular work into producing results. That does not mean you as a writer are less skilled just that you are putting more work to produce the same level of results. And if they had to put in the same level of work their own association would likely be very different as well.

I would say that you are completely right. I am not very comfortable with the language (or heck, even communicating in general), and it holds me back immensely, I struggle with grammar, so the process of proofreading is especially agonizing for me.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I would say that grammar wise there are websites and such that can help. Write your best with Grammarly. is helpful

Also if you let your partner know that you struggle with grammar they are usually pretty understanding. If they aren't their assholes and you don't need to waste your time writing with them. But I have written with people who are non-native speakers, have learning disabilities, or just write from mobile. I do not expect them to write error free novels or anything. I just accept that there might sometimes be posts that are shorter or might have a few mistakes and let it go. If I am unsure of the meaning of something I just ask.

Most people aren't going to be grading your posts like their homework. They're gonna be just happy your trying your best and willing to meet you in the middle.

 

[Dreamtique]

For me it's neither. For me writing is an exercise of effort, focus and a mix of excitement, as well as an exercise in creativity. My writing is a mixture of a sort of "problem solving", attending to the needs of the narrative (story, character, setting, post flow...) and a translation of the ideas that I come up either naturally or in the process of finding a solution to the aforementioned problem solving. Thus I might get excited about the ideas I come up with, to see where the story is going, or in anticipation of the potential replies from my partner/fellow players, and even if I'm not excited I'm likely to simply concentrated - not the feeling of urgency or confusion from stress, nor calm as I am exerting myself regardless.

Now this isn't to say there aren't any stressing times in writing for me, but those are usually more due to surrounding circumstances, like being an inch away from finishing a post and also having 2 minutes to leave the house. In the end of the day, the two sentiments above are what really form the bulk of it for me though.

One thing I should note in addition to this however, is that I'm not the type to seek immediate gratification from writing. It's nice if I can have it, but ultimately I prefer to enjoy the finished product, to look proudly upon what I've made. The focus and effort of the writing isn't always pleasant, but the satisfaction that comes with seeing what comes out of it more than makes up for that.

The mental state you are describing sounds something like the 'state of flow'. It takes effort and focus, but in a healthy and optimally productive way.
It is actually a mental state that I strive to have, but a prerequisite of entering a state of flow is that the difficulty of the task has to slightly exceed your capacity such that it demands your energy and focus. For me the difficulty gap might still be 'too wide', so I guess it comes down to me having to slowly improve myself.

 

[Jannah]

Depends. If I have plenty of muse and it comes easily to me then it can be relaxing. It's when I try to force replies when things get stressful. It's why I'm so sporadic with replies.

 

[Idea]

The mental state you are describing sounds something like the 'state of flow'. It takes effort and focus, but in a healthy and optimally productive way.
It is actually a mental state that I strive to have, but a prerequisite of entering a state of flow is that the difficulty of the task has to slightly exceed your capacity such that it demands your energy and focus. For me the difficulty gap might still be 'too wide', so I guess it comes down to me having to slowly improve myself.

I don't know if I have this 'state of flow' you're talking about as I'm not very familiar with the concept. It doesn't sound like you're talking about what is usually referred to as "the muse" which is something I actively avoid relying on, since relying on the right mood or inspiration can create a spiral of increased attrition similar to taking a break from regular exercising.

I don't think though that, most of the time anyways, I'm working "beyond my capacity" at least when it comes to writing for roleplays. I certainly think there's more I could do to push my limits, something I would love to do to grow as a writer, though real life priorities prevent me from being able to responsibly to commit to a project where I would have to do that. On the other hand though, it's not rare that I am pushing myself when it comes to completing some posts, mostly in the forms of ending up staying pretty late to finish them.

 

[Dreamtique]

Depends. If I have plenty of muse and it comes easily to me then it can be relaxing. It's when I try to force replies when things get stressful. It's why I'm so sporadic with replies.

Ya. The commitment...it is one of the scary things to me as well, even if they don't specifically require you to be active, I'll just feel obligated to post as regularly as possible. It feels bad for me to just leave things hanging there.

 

[Onmyoji]

It's a bit of both. When it goes well it's calming and when I have writer's block it's stressful. Unfortunately I have writer's block more often than not and even though my rp partners don't mind waiting, I'm not happy that my writing is so slow (once a month or slower. very few people are okay with that so my rp partners are mythic unicorn levels of treasure).

Funny enough, while English is not my native language, it's less stressful to rp in it than in my native language. Maybe because I'm less critical. When writing in native language, it has to be 10000% perfect. Writing in non-native language feels more relaxing because I expect to make mistakes anyway lol Which is purely subjective, not like I don't proofread my posts or don't spend hours with the dictionary lol I probably take as much time to write in English than in native language, if not more. But it's still less stressful somehow.

 

[Dreamtique]

It's a bit of both. When it goes well it's calming and when I have writer's block it's stressful. Unfortunately I have writer's block more often than not and even though my rp partners don't mind waiting, I'm not happy that my writing is so slow (once a month or slower. very few people are okay with that so my rp partners are mythic unicorn levels of treasure).

Funny enough, while English is not my native language, it's less stressful to rp in it than in my native language. Maybe because I'm less critical. When writing in native language, it has to be 10000% perfect. Writing in non-native language feels more relaxing because I expect to make mistakes anyway lol Which is purely subjective, not like I don't proofread my posts or don't spend hours with the dictionary lol I probably take as much time to write in English than in native language, if not more. But it's still less stressful somehow.

Hm, I think in the end you do have some autonomy in deciding how the writing process feels to you. Most of the time the stress is more self-induced, especially when it is only a hobby.

Allowing myself to spend longer to produce something will make things feel better, I can imagine if I really can take my time to produce something, it can be quite fun. But of course most of the time I feel quite guilty for spending way too long typing up something or playing with ideas even off the keyboards. Sometimes, I didn't even get the feeling of instant gratification (as I can get with other activities during my free time) when I am done writing up something, I just feel tired, I think that helped to reinforce my negative associations with writing.

To expand on the effect of language confidence, I do want to add that I have more exposure to the language than my peers in my region, through media of my choice like movies, animations, youtube, and my experience with interacting with peoples on here and trying to write for rps (the magic of interweb)!!!

I am by no means a perfectionist, not even close, I just...do things at a slower pace as well, and I am not satisfied with how slow I can get when writing as it will obviously affect my ability to attend to real life obligations, so I have to wrestle with myself whether I should really continue trying something or not if I can't make the process worthwhile and feels gratifying. At some points, things really are too busy for me to do anything (all my free time are dedicated to writing up my thesis instead), but when things in real life slowed down, I find myself unable to start trying things on here mentally.

Now I realize I have been doing this 'wrong', maybe a change of mindset will really help me resolve my dilemma.

 

[Cresion Breezes]

I mean...neither??? You guys feel things when you write???

It's just a thing I do that doesn't really evoke emotions for me most of the time, sure if I'm writing a sad scene I might try to feel sad or think of sad things to capture the vibe better but ultimately I don't think it alters my mental state going into it that much. Maybe I'm just not in tune with my feelings or whatever I am infamously dead inside.

Edit: I'm also not technically a native English speaker (my school classified me as such) but I was really young at the time and never really felt the impact before my status was revoked.

 

[Dreamtique]

I mean...neither??? You guys feel things when you write???

It's just a thing I do that doesn't really evoke emotions for me most of the time, sure if I'm writing a sad scene I might try to feel sad or think of sad things to capture the vibe better but ultimately I don't think it alters my mental state going into it that much. Maybe I'm just not in tune with my feelings or whatever I am infamously dead inside.

Edit: I'm also not technically a native English speaker (my school classified me as such) but I was really young at the time and never really felt the impact before my status was revoked.

I suppose you must feel ' something' such that it compels you to work on a creative project or deters you from working on it? It is more about how the hobby makes you feel, do you derive more joy, relaxation, and satisfaction from it, or does it somehow stress you out (which the hobby is not supposed to do)?

I think there are actually quite a lot of non native speakers here, I wouldn't be too surprised, but I don't have the statistics, just a hunch.

 

[Cresion Breezes]

I suppose you must feel ' something' such that it compels you to work on a creative project or deters you from working on it? It is more about how the hobby makes you feel, do you derive more joy, relaxation, and satisfaction from it, or does it somehow stress you out (which the hobby is not supposed to do)?

I think there are actually quite a lot of non native speakers here, I wouldn't be too surprised, but I don't have the statistics, just a hunch.

I guess it's just interest/curiosity in seeing how a story plays out similar to wanting to watch the next episode of a show or something, and getting to contribute some stuff yourself, you can call it satisfaction probably. I like stories, I like participating in things, voila. I'm a very "live in the moment" type of person and when I write I'm generally just thinking about what I'm writing, like word choice, vibes, tone, what kind of foreshadowing/world building/character defining types of things I can put in etc, and how to make it enjoyable and substantial contribution to the RP in general.

 

[Idea]

Hm, I think in the end you do have some autonomy in deciding how the writing process feels to you. Most of the time the stress is more self-induced, especially when it is only a hobby.

Allowing myself to spend longer to produce something will make things feel better, I can imagine if I really can take my time to produce something, it can be quite fun. But of course most of the time I feel quite guilty for spending way too long typing up something or playing with ideas even off the keyboards. Sometimes, I didn't even get the feeling of instant gratification (as I can get with other activities during my free time) when I am done writing up something, I just feel tired, I think that helped to reinforce my negative associations with writing.

To expand on the effect of language confidence, I do want to add that I have more exposure to the language than my peers in my region, through media of my choice like movies, animations, youtube, and my experience with interacting with peoples on here and trying to write for rps (the magic of interweb)!!!

I am by no means a perfectionist, not even close, I just...do things at a slower pace as well, and I am not satisfied with how slow I can get when writing as it will obviously affect my ability to attend to real life obligations, so I have to wrestle with myself whether I should really continue trying something or not if I can't make the process worthwhile and feels gratifying. At some points, things really are too busy for me to do anything (all my free time are dedicated to writing up my thesis instead), but when things in real life slowed down, I find myself unable to start trying things on here mentally.

Now I realize I have been doing this 'wrong', maybe a change of mindset will really help me resolve my dilemma.

I don't think one necessarily need have a fast pace when it comes to RP, though I also imagine I this is hardly something you're unaware of. Nonetheless, there are certainly writing styles that simply require more time and therefore a slower post pacing, to produce. I don't know what your writing pace usually is, but it's hardly uncommon for me to take a couple weeks. Perhaps this might be a good way to balance your needs: Set things to write fewer posts from the getgo, to have a longer period available to write the post calmly, while the rest of the time you dedicate to your other interests/obligations.

Of course, to do this, you'll want to find partners who are willing to wait for the time you need, though in return they will have the quality that your carefully written posts can provide. In the end of the day, however, it is my sincere believe that to begin with that is how searching for a partner ought to work: Both people looking for someone who wants to provide what they seek and vice versa. If a slower pacing suits you best, then being upfront about it and outright seeking partners who are also interested in a slower pace is, I think, the way to go.

 

[Whisker]

Stressed. Im a type-A, perfectionist personality with severe ADHD. In addition, I think predominantly in pictures than words. As a result, I can get stuck for hours in wordsmithing a single sentence to describe what Im picturing in my head, which almost never delivers my scenes ( at least in my opinion) true justice.

That isn't to say that I'm not a good storyteller or dont find that process extremely enjoyable though; its just the technical that frustrates me most of the time.

 

[Sunmori]

Yes.

 

[Malphaestus]

Writing, like all other things, produces stress. It is in my nature to be stressed, and seldom relieved of it; I rarely relieve myself of stress, finding difficulty in such processes. Stress is productive, simply a shame that I have to deal with it to the point of psychosis with intermediate regularity.

 

[Celestial Water]

Both. It’s not so much the writing as it is trying to figure out the course of action my character is supposed to take. I’m a recluse and yes I do separate myself from my characters but that also means I don’t have a whole lot of worldly experience. So I do get caught up in myself trying to stay true to canon or trying to make my original characters’ actions align with what’s happening. This is the part of the writing process that causes me the most stress. There are rare instances where I may ask my writing partner for advice but I hate doing this bc I don’t want to feel like someone’s holding my hand in the RP…I just cringe and hope it works but I have had to do rewrites before. Which I’m okay with bc writing to me is therapeutic.

Edit: Thinking about it. I do get writers block when life is really stressing me out. So, I’ll stop writing to decompress.

 

[StuartAnderson]

I think it depends on the roleplay and the partner.

I tend to be pretty laidback and versatile with my style. I am happy to exchange short sharp regular messages but also do long multi para.

for short sharp message and/or with laidback partners, I find it calming. with roleplays whereas if i'm writing in more detail or with partners who have higher standards, I find it a bit more stressful as it takes up more mental energy to create.