Opinion Are you embarrassed to tell people you roleplay?

[Progdor]

However, I'd like to add, it depends on if you're just a casual dude or an aspiring writer. Society may not look at the basic stuff in a positive light, but some people write books worth of content here. Whole books! One day, some of us are gonna be millionaires off all that literature, just you wait and see.

So yeah, just say you're a budding novelist or some other such thing, and that you collaborate with others on books there. And if they ask where, they're getting a little too deep. Gotta keep your ideas to yourself and your associates if you wanna make that money.

I used to justify it as collaborative writing, but I couldn't get past the fact that if you just glued together the replies in sequence you get this weird amalgamation that doesn't flow nicely due to writing style or perspective. So if it is original content and you want to publish it at some point, you need to rewrite at least half of it to match the other half. Or if you want to alternate perspectives, you need to fill in the gaps from the right character's perspective. I am not saying that isn't a great way of putting it, just expressing why I don't explain it that way anymore.

 

[crumbelivable]

Yeah somewhat. I don't really tell anyone about it casually. Although that's probably partially because my mom would go on about it to anyone she met whenever I was present

 

[Suggy]

I don't tell anyone about my account on this site. A few close friends know I rp, but they don't know where I rp. If my parents find out that I talk to internet weirdos they would be livid and ban me from using technology for the rest of my life.

 

[elextrified]

yes. everyone automatically assumes that it's some weird kinky/furry type stuff and i get so flustered trying to explain otherwise. the only friends that know i roleplay are roleplayers themselves.

 

[Pierreuse]

I didn't used to feel embarrassed. Now I sort of do, but I feel like it's not really any of their business.

 

[Kiho_Bubb]

Yes and no?
I feel embarrassed when I am pretty sure they don't know, simply because to me it is a lot like D&D, but more for writing? I just assume people will start to think I have no life or something along those lines, because even though I like D&D, it is seen as a "lame" hobby. I guess it all depends on the person I'm talking to, and how long I've known them.

 

[memphis]

I find this a very interesting topic. I've actually talked to other people on other sites before about this and there seems to be a general consensus that many, if not most people are embarrassed to tell people about this hobby. I believe a lot of this has to do with the either sexual or real-life connotation of roleplay.

Personally, I haven't ever been in a situation where it would make sense to divulge this hobby of mine. However, tbh I don't think I would share it with anyone, even if the opportunity did present itself. I do plenty of things on the internet, just everyone else in my life, so I don't think I should feel obliged to share exactly what I do with anyone else. If I were ever in a situation, like the OP, where a SO felt that I might be cheating on them, that is one time where I would talk about it. I don't think my embarrassment of one of my hobbies is worth compromising any of my real life relationships, obviously.

 

[Fantomina]

I'm not exactly open about it. I feel like I'm a bit too old to still be RPing, but some habits and hobbies are hard to break and I can't help but keep coming back to it! It's not just RPing, though; I also don't share with a lot of people that I play games or write regularly. Not sure why, there's certainly nothing wrong with any of these things, I just tend to keep them to myself.

 

[Elephantom]

'It's just a bloody fucking writer's program.'

 

[AnimeGenork]

A surprising number of my friends at school also roleplay, so when they found out I did, too, they took it pretty well. Other times I just casually bring up "RPs" and "characters" and then proceed to explain what it is exactly that I do. All of my friends know I like writing, so when I tell them it's basically just a writing outlet, they take it pretty well. I don't bring it up unless I absolutely feel I have to, because my business is my own, but if someone asks "Oh, what's RPN?" I'll tell them. Really, it's not that big a deal for me, mostly because I'm surrounded by people who understand that my interests are different than theirs. A friend once asked me how this works, so it's nice that they like to know what I do.

But yeah. I'm not really embarrassed about it, unless someone immediately takes it the wrong way and I have to explain. XD

 

[Revna Eris]

I can completely understand why you would feel uncomfortable. I've been isolated my whole life with little to no real life social interaction, so I'm extremely self conscious. I'd have to say I only feel embarrassed or ashamed and such when I'm talking to someone I don't know, or my family. (My family knows I do it though.) Most people I don't know when I tell them I roleplay assume its dirty as well because... People are close minded sometimes. The only people I talk to my roleplaying about would be people on here and people I talk to frequently otherwise. Am I embarrassed... A little. That's only really because of how much time and energy I put into ONE CHARACTER. I... Apologize for rambling.

 

[Minako]

Hmm... Well, yes, a little.

It's a fun hobby (when experienced with good friends on a safe site) to sharpen up our writing skills (or keep them up to par), but, as is with most words, the meaning can be... perverted into something completely different.

As it was already addressed, most people see the word "Roleplay" and don't think of a group of friends (or strangers hopefully becoming friends) collaborating together to tell a story, they think of... well... many, many things in the gutter.

It doesn't help sometimes members of our "culture" can be... well, eccentric... and not exactly provide a good example of "role-players", though really the same could be said of any site/culture/fandom/ etc.

I wouldn't let those feelings stop someone from role-playing if they truly wanted to and had tons of fun doing so, because it's all in the eye of the beholder at the end of the day. As the good Doctor Seuss said: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter!

 

[WolfSol]

No, but then again I'm 22 and have grown out of my embarrassment and shyness and what have you. However, even before I reached 18, I did not hold unease when explaining that I was involved in roleplay. I admit, it can be awkward explaining what it is to someone who has never heard of it because they usually think of sexual cosplay for some stupid reason. Roleplaying is just a collaborative story between 2 or more people, and it is usually done for enjoyment and progression and improvement in one's general writing and understanding (if that person accepts criticism).

In all honesty, it depends on the use of words when telling someone your hobby in roleplaying.

 

[DrTrollinski]

I usually say "I collaborate online"

Girl I work with saw me writing something and I said exactly that. She was pretty chill and was just like "oh so you're role-playing"

I was like

... Yeah

I'm not by any means ashamed of it but most people assume I like writing myself as some sex-crazed humanoid wolf character whenever the word "roleplay" is mentioned so I tend to avoid talking about it xD

 

[Unknown1]

Maybe this is just me, but I do not like telling people that I role play. Most people assume that it is associated with dirty things, so they think it is weird that I do it. I typically try to hide what I am doing when I am typing a reply or even just refreshing the website (because of the giant RPNation banner). I feel so self conscious telling people about it, even my family. I just recently had to tell my boyfriend about it because he was worried I was cheating on him, and I have never felt more nervous. I'm just afraid of being judged for something I enjoy doing.

My question is, do you feel this way too? Why? Who do you feel comfortable telling?

Honestly i have, i still do but it was really bad in the past. Of course it more so depends on the website, i rp on My candy love, hell no i'm showing anyone that i rp on a sight titled that xD.

Before college started i had never told a soul, i didn't even talk to my family about it. The first person i told was my new college friend, it just feels weird and i kept being cautious but he had a very open countenance it was like you could tell him anything. So it felt really good to come out of the rp closet.

Honestly my fears are the same as yours, i'm afraid people will get the wrong idea when i talk about rping, especially the dirty connotation, or they will simply think its 'D&D' or something else when to me its nothing like that. I have gone to describing it as writing stories with other people. I just don't talk about it unless ushured because its annoying when people misunderstand or misinterpret. I have tried to be less secretive. Rping is the only thing that has gotten my mind out of its miserable cycle.

 

[Unknown1]

A surprising number of my friends at school also roleplay, so when they found out I did, too, they took it pretty well. Other times I just casually bring up "RPs" and "characters" and then proceed to explain what it is exactly that I do. All of my friends know I like writing, so when I tell them it's basically just a writing outlet, they take it pretty well. I don't bring it up unless I absolutely feel I have to, because my business is my own, but if someone asks "Oh, what's RPN?" I'll tell them. Really, it's not that big a deal for me, mostly because I'm surrounded by people who understand that my interests are different than theirs. A friend once asked me how this works, so it's nice that they like to know what I do.

But yeah. I'm not really embarrassed about it, unless someone immediately takes it the wrong way and I have to explain. XD

Bro, i'm jealous. I think i met those kind of people in college, but i was too shy to make the effort to be constant friends. They were literally everything i wanted in humans *cries*

 

[monkeymae24]

I'm pretty open about the fact I roleplay. I mean, everyone at school knows I'm a writer, and roleplay is just collaborative writing in my eyes. Occasionally people like to make sexual implications about the nature of roleplay, but I just tell them that, sure, some people just write about such subjects, but I never have and never will. For me it's about improving my skills, and if people want to judge me for my hobbies, that's not any of my concern.

 

[astropaws]

Yes, in fact, I never ever bring it up at all. Not even to my online friends. xd
When I started off around 9 years old, my brother's friend came over all the time and he would make fun of me for it.

That's mostly why I keep it a secret I guess.

 

[Cedra]

Usually I'm fine with it if I find out they're a dumb nerd that plays DnD or something.

 

[hartzellda]

My husband knows I do and so does my mom (my mom even roleplays herself). It's not really information that I share, but I'm not ashamed either. I just don't like taking the time to explain what it is xD; If a person judges you for it, then they don't really deserve to be your friend.

 

[EmmyKpop]

Not only do I not like to tell people, I do not like to be around people when I'm writing. Paranoid? Very!

 

[Gaotau]

If they ask, I tell them. I don't mind to tell them. In my opinion, it's my life. Why should I care what others think? If I enjoy it, why not do it?

 

[Ozmic]

I generally avoid it, myself.

Not because I'm embarrassed about it, but more that it's exhausting having to explain that, at the end of the day, it's just shared writing.
As some others have mentioned, people assume it's a sexualized thing more often than not, though I'm used to that when I've had to explain streaming as well.

If ever it comes up, I just tell people I know I'm part of a few writing communities and leave it at that.
Not that I've been active anywhere the last couple years, a-heh. >>

 

[RavenWing13]

I use to be embarrassed when I was younger, but I learned to accept who I am. This world makes me happy, and I make friends easily this way. But I know people judge me for being a Roleplayer, but I couldn't careless what they thought. I can be anything and everything I want. So I'll take this little piece of happiness.

 

[truthofself]

I AM SUPER EMBARRASSED TO DO IT.
Like I have a friend who i know that rps. Known her for YEARS. Didn't tell her until a few days ago.
"WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING," she told me
i just said i was embarrassed.