Opinion What do you think of asexuality and aromantics?

[kibou]

snip

I guess I'm of the opinion that being gay and straight is exactly the same, minus the "who" part of being attracted to people. Homosexuality can be found in nature, and even helps out populations. For example, the laysan albatross has a much higher hatchrate for females than to males. So often, the female birds will raise chicks together. Some gay penguins from various species have adopted abandoned eggs and raised them together. Lots of gay couples adopt and raise children, so I don't think being gay is at all counter-productive to the continuation of our species. Reproduction might only be possible between straight couples, but giving birth isn't the only thing you need to do to keep a species from dying off.

It's impossible to know "why" animals or humans might be gay, and you're right in that there's no conclusive evidence, although it's generally understood in psychology that all behavior is rooted in a combination of genetic predisposition (regardless of whether we know which genes contribute to behavior) and nurture/environment. It's not some weird phenomenon either. Much of how our brains work/why certain behaviors happen still isn't known, and scientists are learning more about our bodies all the time.

So we might have to just agree to disagree. I'm strapped for time atm so I can't type much more. As for connotations, they are part of how words are defined and important to language.

 

[Idea]

I guess I'm of the opinion that being gay and straight is exactly the same, minus the "who" part of being attracted to people. Homosexuality can be found in nature, and even helps out populations. For example, the laysan albatross has a much higher hatchrate for females than to males. So often, the female birds will raise chicks together. Some gay penguins from various species have adopted abandoned eggs and raised them together. Lots of gay couples adopt and raise children, so I don't think being gay is at all counter-productive to the continuation of our species. Reproduction might only be possible between straight couples, but giving birth isn't the only thing you need to do to keep a species from dying off.

It's impossible to know "why" animals or humans might be gay, and you're right in that there's no conclusive evidence, although it's generally understood in psychology that all behavior is rooted in a combination of genetic predisposition (regardless of whether we know which genes contribute to behavior) and nurture/environment. It's not some weird phenomenon either. Much of how our brains work/why certain behaviors happen still isn't known, and scientists are learning more about our bodies all the time.

So we might have to just agree to disagree. I'm strapped for time atm so I can't type much more. As for connotations, they are part of how words are defined and important to language.

As I've tried to make clear I don't claim to know. I just don't plan on uprooting the foundations of my worldview for something I am not given conclusive evidence of or even something I find midly reliable and not simply circumstancial. I could argue all day, but I don't want to bother with it as I've come here to talk about my experience and my view not to start an argument which I don't think either of us wants. So, as you said, let us agree to disagree and let each other be.

 

[Jules8008]

They are ok, I guess? I usually avoid the LGBTQ+-community, because they have a tendency to become toxic.
What should I think of my sexuality? What should I think of it?

 

[Imaginarium]

As with all things related to sexual orientation, genders ( including the made up ones) and the remainder of all of the current identity-nonsense floating about the world:

I couldn't care less. You can identify as a cuberdon for all I care, doesn't bother me in the least. As long as you don't wave it around and demand special treatment for it.

 

[abandonedatheart]

y'all are legit. i feel like a lot of the time, people confuse asexuality/aromanticism with the inability to do those things, ie, have sex or be in a relationship, versus not feeling those things overall. a lot of asexuals aren't chaste, and can be promiscuous; some asexuals are sex-repulsed based on a myriad of factors; some aromantics date a lot of people; and some just don't because they don't feel romantic attraction. someone who is heterosexual doesn't feel sexual attraction toward members of the same gender, homosexual people don't feel sexual attraction toward members of the opposite genders, bi/pansexual people feel sexual attraction toward many/all genders, and asexual people don't feel sexual attraction toward anyone. there's a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, as well, which can differ from person to person. i'm kinda rambling but yeah.

yall r legit

pan/acearo solidarity my dude

 

[Sea Jay]

Honestly, so long as you arent a dick, I be cool with it.
As a homosexual panromantic, I gotta say, I find it hard to think of such a small thing as a reason to dislike somebody.
Hey, if you're asexual and you're not aromantic, doesn't mean you cant be loved in other ways, if you're aromantic and not asexual, doesn't mean your friends cant love you, and if you're both, it doesnt mean you cant love, just that you dont feel that romantic kinda love, that sexual impulse to make yourself "closer"
Everyone loves in their own ways. You might want to touch somebody, might just want to love em, or maybe all you want to be is friends. What right does anyone else have to judge? It doesnt harm anybody if you dont want sex or romantic love, not everybody feels that urge, yeah?
It's silly, how people thing your feelings affect them just cuz you exist, am I right?
I can always dig a new perspective, ace, pan, hetero or elsewise.
Everyone is different, everyone has somethin to give.
I love that people can walk down the street and say to themselves, "Yeah, I dont care about sex or romance, I just like being here" and not think they have a problem, cuz it aint a problem


Haha sorry, I'm ramblin
Guess what I'm sayin is
I already love everybody uhhh platonically, so I just cant ever see why something so unimportant to everyone but oneself could be such an issue for people.
Love in your own way and let the world's beauty shine, my friends.


I feel like I may have eaten something I shouldn't have lmfao

 

[TheSoaringChimp]

I mean...it doesn't bother me. As far as I know, I'm straight, but one of my close friends is ace and it doesn't affect any part of our friendship. I don't see why asexuality or aromanticism should have anything to do with being friends with someone. To me, someone's sexuality shouldn't be the reason a friendly relationship is broken.
I believe in staying true to yourself. So be you. The best people like you for you anyway, it shouldn't matter what their sexuality is.

 

[kevintheradioguy]

I'm ace, but I go by "hetero", because I find women attractive (and I date one). I just... don't want... to fuck them.
Shrug.
No one ever thought anything about that upon discovery, really, as it is the same thread as "what is your favourite sex position", like, who the fuck cares?

That being said, my hormones and vitamins, and overall body condition is a are fine, so, nope, sorry, it's just like gender preferences - uncontrollable and weird thing that just happens.

 

[Kylesar1]

They exist and I'd be friends with them. Then again, I'd be friends with pretty much anyone as long as they're a good person.

I wouldn't DATE an asexual though and wouldn't have to worry about dating an aromantic.

 

[FlyingDemon]

Honestly, I have always had good discussions on the asexual side (on the internet, it's so rare), and I totally understand the lack of interest in sex, society is obsessed with it, it quickly becomes boring.

as long as a group doesn't want to exterminate anyone, it goes very well.

 

[Skyenagowa]

I AM asexual, and aromantic

 

[Green Pen]

I'll throw in my two cents; I feel like sometimes we label everything too much but I don't care what someone's orientation is as long as they are in a loving and consensual relationship. As long as no one is getting hurt I don't care, people love who they love and it's not really my business. I've been told I'm probably Asexual/Aromantic because I've never been "in love/had a crush," and I don't really get attracted to people, so I do think it's a thing - regardless of whether or not I am it.

 

[RiskyFriday]

Let is first be said that I myself am asexual and aromantic, and I'm not trying to offend anyone. However, I would like to know your opinions. If you're straight, what do you think of asexuality/aromantics? Same question for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Also, to anyone who's LGBTQ+, what do you think about asexuals and aromantics being in the community?

I'm pretty sure I am... half of both of those. I am able to develop crushes, sometimes intense crushes, but after that puppy phase is over it's like I lose all... romantic feelings. It's very weird. I even feel that way about my family, I just have a hard time feeling that warm, comfortable feeling of love. I've felt it before, but these days... it's harder. I'm not sure why. And I'm definitely not interested in sexual things. Again, that's something I used to be into a LOT, with kinks and everything. But over the past several years? Gone.

My opinion is that to each their own. Not capable of those things? That's fine! It's not NECESSARY. Live and let live, no judgment!

 

[HelloThere]

Technically I don't care if you're asexual or not, but I feel as though it's not really something you can identify is, nor is it something that you decide to have. It may be some hormonal imbalance, it may not be, we will never know. I have a friend who isn't sexually attracted to anyone, however he doesn't exactly identify as asexual.

Also, this is kind of silly, but I've always had a problem with the name. I get a-romantic, that makes sense to me, but asexual is used in scientific terms as a species that doesn't need to reproduce sexually. However, I suppose a lot of things have multiple meanings nowadays, so I suppose it's really just me being nit-picky.

Either way, you just do what you do. I don't really care if you're asexual or not, it's your life, you live it how you want.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Technically I don't care if you're asexual or not, but I feel as though it's not really something you can identify is, nor is it something that you decide to have. It may be some hormonal imbalance, it may not be, we will never know. I have a friend who isn't sexually attracted to anyone, however he doesn't exactly identify as asexual..

I'm curious why you don't think it's something you can identify as? I mean you mention you have a friend who doesn't feel sexual attraction so you are aware that it is possible. Is it that you don't like people using labels? Or that you don't like the label itself?

I think a key thing to remember is that humans are innately social creatures. Even the most introverted person wants to feel like they belong to something. But because our society is so sex and romance obsessed for people who feel neither sexual attraction nor romantic attraction it can feel a bit like being the odd man out. That can get lonely.

So therefore having a label can be like having a shared identity. Suddenly you aren't the only one who feels a particular way, there are others out there that understand what your going through and can share your experience.

And from a practical point saying "We are asexual" is a lot more streamlined than saying "We are a group of people who do not feel physical attraction."

(edited for clarity)

 

[HelloThere]

I'm curious why you don't think it's something you can identify as? I mean you mention you have a friend who doesn't feel sexual attraction so you are aware that it is possible. Is it that you don't like people using labels? Or that you don't like the label itself?

I think a key thing to remember is that humans are innately social creatures. Even the most introverted person wants to feel like they belong to something. But because our society is so sex and romance obsessed for people who feel neither sexual attraction nor romantic attraction it can feel a bit like being the odd man out. That can get lonely.

So therefore having a label can be like having a shared identity. Suddenly you aren't the only one who feels a particular way, there are others out there that understand what your going through and can share your experience.

And from a practical point saying "We are asexual" is a lot more streamlined than saying "We are a group of people who do not feel physical attraction."

(edited for clarity)

I don't mind people labeling it to be able to connect more with others, I just see it so often it seems less like a thing that needs to be labeled. But, then again, I think that's how things get labeled. Animal species are quite the same, you could argue. So therefore, I have been had.

And yes, true, It is much easier to say asexual than a really stretched out sentence. I must agree with you there.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I don't mind people labeling it to be able to connect more with others, I just see it so often it seems less like a thing that needs to be labeled. But, then again, I think that's how things get labeled. Animal species are quite the same, you could argue. So therefore, I have been had.

And yes, true, It is much easier to say asexual than a really stretched out sentence. I must agree with you there.

Yeah I read a thread on tumblr once that went into a really facinating study on how humans form associations with specific words. And one of the things they covered is that humans like to think in terms of groups. We assign things into groups with internalized characteristics to better identify them.

I can't remember the exact wording but I think it supports your own point. We name things to have an easier time identifying them, and we come up with newer more specific labels as our understanding becomes more refined. So as a child everything that is furry and has four legs is a dog. But as you get older you might learn that some furry four legged things are cats or rats or whatever. And even that there are different kinds of dogs that have their own special names.

I think in a way sexuality is similar, we sort of redefine it as we get older and we like to add labels to those newly defined terms. So we can clearly point and say - I mean THIS sexuality but not THAT sexuality. So instead of just saying "Dog" we're saying "Labrador" or "German Shepherd."

 

[PhoenixMire]

I think I’m both - aromantic and asexual - but idk. There are certain people that I think are really attractive, which is weird... because even though I think that way, the thought of romantic or sexual relationships is awful. I loathe the thought of dating so I don’t do it.
I have friends that are very depressed about the fact that they’re single and can’t seem to find “the right one”, and while I try my best to comfort those friends and be there for them, I’ve never once been able to relate. I’m happy to be single and would be perfectly glad to spend the rest of my life without romantic or sexual relationships at all.
So for now I guess I label myself as aro/ace. I’m always glad to find other people that relate to the way I feel. However, of course a person’s actions are more important than their labels, so I don’t care what “label” someone has as long as they’re a decent person.

 

[Lenny2000]

Let is first be said that I myself am asexual and aromantic, and I'm not trying to offend anyone. However, I would like to know your opinions. If you're straight, what do you think of asexuality/aromantics? Same question for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Also, to anyone who's LGBTQ+, what do you think about asexuals and aromantics being in the community?

Wait what happens if your heterosexual but biromantic male person and you have gay sex? Doesent that violate the romance from sexual aspect?

Also doesent asexuality and aromance just mean that you are not in the mood for sex at the time or not in the mood for romantic relationships like dealing after a break up and you get depressed and don't wanna love anyone.

But unless if it's been genetically proven that asexual is a actual brain disorder like gay and lesbian brains I believe it's just a behavior and with all behaviors they can change due to the enviourment they live in or surround themselves with.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Firstly, Yikes! Secondly, Lenny2000 let me break down somethings for you.

"What about a heterosexual biromantic that has sex with a man?"
Having sex with a single man does not mean your gay. It just mean you find that particular male attractive enough to make an exception. If however you have a general physical attraction to men than you would be gay. Or if you have a general physical attraction to men and women you would be bi. If you have a general physical attraction to women (and your a male) than you are heterosexual. Sexuality is on a spectrum, so it isn't absolute but is more how you generally feel most of the time.

"Doesn't that negate the romance from sexual aspect?"
Biromantic means that you have romantic feelings for both genders, it has nothing to do with physical attraction. Our society tends to act as if romantic and physical attractions are the same thing. But they aren't. I for instance am aromantic, meaning I do not feel romantic feelings for either gender. This does not mean I am incapable of feeling physical attraction. I feel physical attraction for some men but have no great desire to have sex. Which would make me aromantic and asexual. If however I were to have sex with a single man that would not automatically make me heterosexual and it certainly would have nothing to do with me being aromantic. As having sex isn't the same as feeling romance. And having sex once doesn't change your entire sexuality, as I went into above.

"Isn't asexual/aromantic just a word for someone who is depressed after a breakup?"
No asexual/aromantic means you do not feel either physical attraction (asexual) or romantic feelings (aromantic). It has nothing to do with a break up or feeling depressed. Most aromantic/asexuals have never been in a relationship at all because they have no desire to be. Again because they don't feel sexual or romantic attraction they feel no need to have sex or date. Some do, and as I mentioned previously it exists on the spectrum so not everyone is going to manifest in the same way.

"It's not a brain disorder like a gay and lesbian brain"
Being homosexual is not a brain disorder. That is an incredibly offensive and blatantly untrue statement.

"It's just a behavior and like all behaviors it will change with the enviornment that you surround yourself with."
No it is a sexuality. You want to know how I know this? Because we live in a sexualized world where romance and sex are hyper focused on all the time. So if your theory was correct aro/ace would not exist at all. Because we would all feel physical attraction/romantic feelings purely because that was what our environment encouraged us to feel. The fact that there are people on the ace/aro spectrum is not an environmental issue it is an authentic feeling that they came to by themselves.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I think I’m both - aromantic and asexual - but idk. There are certain people that I think are really attractive, which is weird... because even though I think that way, the thought of romantic or sexual relationships is awful. I loathe the thought of dating so I don’t do it..

That's a common misconception I think. Aromantic / Asexual feelings exist on a spectrum like anything else. There are some people that are sex/romance repulsed. So the very idea of any kind of physical / romantic interaction disgusts them. And there are some that might find certain people attractive but not enough to commit to a full time relationship OR actual intercourse. I think having feelings of attraction is actually fairly common in asexuals. What sets ace apart is they have no desire whatsoever to actually ACT on those feelings. They just sort of exist in a vaccum.

 

[Lenny2000]

Firstly, Yikes! Secondly, Lenny2000 let me break down somethings for you.

"What about a heterosexual biromantic that has sex with a man?"
Having sex with a single man does not mean your gay. It just mean you find that particular male attractive enough to make an exception. If however you have a general physical attraction to men than you would be gay. Or if you have a general physical attraction to men and women you would be bi. If you have a general physical attraction to women (and your a male) than you are heterosexual. Sexuality is on a spectrum, so it isn't absolute but is more how you generally feel most of the time.

"Doesn't that negate the romance from sexual aspect?"
Biromantic means that you have romantic feelings for both genders, it has nothing to do with physical attraction. Our society tends to act as if romantic and physical attractions are the same thing. But they aren't. I for instance am aromantic, meaning I do not feel romantic feelings for either gender. This does not mean I am incapable of feeling physical attraction. I feel physical attraction for some men but have no great desire to have sex. Which would make me aromantic and asexual. If however I were to have sex with a single man that would not automatically make me heterosexual and it certainly would have nothing to do with me being aromantic. As having sex isn't the same as feeling romance. And having sex once doesn't change your entire sexuality, as I went into above.

"Isn't asexual/aromantic just a word for someone who is depressed after a breakup?"
No asexual/aromantic means you do not feel either physical attraction (asexual) or romantic feelings (aromantic). It has nothing to do with a break up or feeling depressed. Most aromantic/asexuals have never been in a relationship at all because they have no desire to be. Again because they don't feel sexual or romantic attraction they feel no need to have sex or date. Some do, and as I mentioned previously it exists on the spectrum so not everyone is going to manifest in the same way.

"It's not a brain disorder like a gay and lesbian brain"
Being homosexual is not a brain disorder. That is an incredibly offensive and blatantly untrue statement.

"It's just a behavior and like all behaviors it will change with the enviornment that you surround yourself with."
No it is a sexuality. You want to know how I know this? Because we live in a sexualized world where romance and sex are hyper focused on all the time. So if your theory was correct aro/ace would not exist at all. Because we would all feel physical attraction/romantic feelings purely because that was what our environment encouraged us to feel. The fact that there are people on the ace/aro spectrum is not an environmental issue it is an authentic feeling that they came to by themselves.

All I'm going to say Is that I disagree with you and that's that because I'm not going to lower myself into a grimy dirty debate.

 

[PhoenixMire]

That's a common misconception I think. Aromantic / Asexual feelings exist on a spectrum like anything else. There are some people that are sex/romance repulsed. So the very idea of any kind of physical / romantic interaction disgusts them. And there are some that might find certain people attractive but not enough to commit to a full time relationship OR actual intercourse. I think having feelings of attraction is actually fairly common in asexuals. What sets ace apart is they have no desire whatsoever to actually ACT on those feelings. They just sort of exist in a vaccum.

This is exactly how I feel! Lol I’m glad you understand and put it into words for me

 

[AdrianS]

I think asexuals and aromantics are valid and a perfectly acceptable facet of the LGBTQ+/queer community.

I do believe that some people identify as asexuals for a time when they don't know what they're into, who they are, or have something that perhaps makes them worried about engaging in sex or romance, but honestly that could be said about any identity. Not that things are 'stepping stones' in a diminishing way, but that we all have the potential to better understand ourselves. I was 100% convinced I was straight before I realized I was bi, and I'm now leaning 95% towards women and figuring that last 5% out (is it real? is it performative heterosexuality? who knows! not me, yet.)

 

[Elise Ebele]

I know I’m just jumping in here...

But I feel like asexual and aromantic people have an easier time appreciating the more important things in life. So I respect people who chose to live that way. I couldn’t do it. I would like to try sex at least once before I die.