Soulmate?

[Zotohxan]

Austin can feel his heart quite literally breaking, inside his chest. He stands, his expression rather frantic as he takes in the girl before him. "No, I'm not... I get that you hate me, Jade... Hell, I would too." I do... "But you've got to believe that I do love you. For years I have. I didn't know how to handle having a crush, so I lashed out...I was taught that boys pick on the girls they like... And by the time I realized what I was doing was wrong, you already hated me... So I just kinda figured, 'hey, why not keep it going? My life's already fucked since she hates me.' I really just didn't know what to do... I figured that if I convinced you no one else could love you, you'd eventually come to me... That's why I kept everyone away from you in high school.. I was waiting for the day when you would come to me, and admit you liked me... But then I realized, finally, that your sort of hate wasn't the love/hate relationship kind... You just flat out hate me.. And for good reason!" He lowers his head, "I don't blame you for hating me... Not at all. And I know that you don't feel the same way about me, but please... Don't disregard my feelings, even inside your own mind..."


The clearly distraught boy ends his overly-honest word-vomit with his head still down, refusing to meet Jade's eyes as he turns and starts toward the door. "I'll just go, now. You can help yourself to whatever's in my kitchen, and leave whenever you want.. I'll probably not be back tonight."


His voice now holds a certain tone of brokenness. Making proof of his sincerity from the little monologue, as well as showing that he was close to tears. For what seems like forever, Austin Karner has been in love with Jade Tarrow... And he's always kept it a secret. But after letting it out in a moment of weakness and panic, his heart doesn't know what to do. What could he do? There was no option left... He's a bully, her bully, and she hates him. A fruitless love if ever there was one, which is why his journey to the door seemed both rushed and delayed. His heart wished to linger, to be held in the clutches of the only one he'd trust with it, while his mind and body wanted only to leave, to escape the torture which would no doubt begin in only a few moments.

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade bites her lower lip and shakes her head. She'd never hated Austin for what he did to her. Yeah it was horrible and she should hate him..but she couldn't bring herself to hate him. He'd always been by her side, not in a friendly way, and not really in a good way...but at least he was there..at least she wasn't alone..


"I don't hate you.." She said. Her voice a lot stronger and louder than she expected. "I should.. God fucking knows I should...but I never have.." She added. Her voice gaining strength as she meant her words. "I may not know exactly how I feel toward you, but what I don know..is that I don't hate you Austin. I can't." And with that she reached out and grabbed his wrist. She wanted him to stay with her, talk to her, talk with her about this. Love was a strong emotion and she knew this more than anything else.


As soon as her hand came to rest upon his wrist, not grabbing hard,but enough to make him know she'd grabbed him, she felt it again. The now somewhat familiar warmth in her chest that was caused every time they touched. It was strange because she could never feel this warmth until after the ritual. The ritual...my soulmate.. ... The ritual.. He..can't be..He isn't...tell me he doesn't feel the same warmth over his heart..tell me this isn't possible...

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin frowns as Jade says that she doesn't hate him... She should... Really, really should... "I don't hate you Austin. I can't." That simple statement was enough to make his heart flutter, and his whole body warm. However, that warmth is only intensified over his heart as she grabs his wrist, succeeding in ming his trek to the door falter.


"Jade... I shouldn't be here. Even if you don't hate me, I feel things for you that I shouldn't. You've got a soul mate out there somewhere, and if I stay here then I'll never allow you to go to him... I'll never be okay with just letting you go... Which is why I need to go, now.. I don't want to ruin your life more than I already have, over the years..."


He sighs softly, gently pulling his wrist out of Jade's grasp, feeling the warmth all drain, leaving only a numbing cold. "I'll see you around, Jade."

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade looks up at him, her eyes full of so many emotions as she shakes her head. "But what if...you are my soulmate?.." She said, her voice going soft once more as she reached up to the collar of her own shirt and took a rather deep breath before pulling back her shirt and looking down. At first she was embarrassed to be doing such a thing, then she saw it. The light that proved who belonged with who in this world. The light wasn't very bright at this moment, but nonetheless there it was..a little red light that marked her as Austin's soulmate.


Jade wasn't really as surprised as she should have been..then again her emotions were a wreak, so maybe her face gave it away. That she was indeed his soulmate. She was fated to fall in love with the man who bullied her for years and now had told her he loved her. Oh how Fate must have been laughing when it set this up..

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin shakes his head, still not looking at Jade to have seen her actions. "Jade's... Soulmates don't really exist... It's just a bunch of smoke and mirrors, tricks and chemical reactions while you sleep. Believe me, I... I wish you could be mine... But even if that fairy tale were true, no way would I be lucky enoigh to have you... Not after how stupid I've been."

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade lets go of her shirt and he hand falls back to her side. "You say that...but if it was true..why did you bother going last night? Was it to tease me? Was it so you could do something like this to me? Actually it doesn't matter, because you won't believe me..just look for yourself..see if the 'smoke and mirrors' is real or fake..I've already looked..I know who I'm destin to be with.." As she said her little speech, he realized more and more how truly upset she was at this whole situation.

 

[Zotohxan]

"My parents and Aniyah finally forced me into going... That's the. Only reason I humored it. I didn't even know you'd be there.." Regardless of his explanation, Austin slowly reaches up and pulls out the collar of his shirt, seeing a faint red light glowing there, right over his heart. His eyes go wide, the heat radiating from that spot intensified ten fold as he stares down at it, then rushes to turn around an face Jade. The moment he does, e pulls his collar far enough to reveal the light, then reaches out to yank down her collar the same.

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade blushes deeply as her shirt is yanked down and the light revealed a long with other things. "A..Austin.." Her voice was a plea. She never had anyone dobthis to her before, also her boobs were clearly being shown, which only made her even more nervous and shy.

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin grins widely as he sees the light on Jade's chest, clearly matching the one on his. "Oh my god..." Without warning, he releases her shirt and falls forward to pull Jjade tight against his chest, his arms holding her around thebwaist as if she were the only thing keeping him on e ground. "I can't believe it.."

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade didn't raise her hands or really even say anything at this point. She didn't know what to say really.. What would you say if you were fated to love the very boy you've feared since the moment you met? What do you say when you don't feel the same? What do you do when you have no choice?

 

[Zotohxan]

After a moment of Jade not reaction, Austin pulls back and looks at her. His expression shows complete and utter heartbreak, the look of a young child who was tricked into going to the dentist rather than Disney Land as promised. "But you don't... Feel the same." His words are spoken in a voice void of all emotion, his hands drop to his sides and he nodss slowly. "I understand." He turns, and once more begins towards the door, "I'm sorry you got stuck with someone like me; someone you can't love.. I hope you can find someone to love who can live you back." And, with that, he walks out the door. Its not common to find two people together who aren't soul mates, but its also not impossible. Sometimes the people get tired of waiting for that light, or sometimes their mate dies... In which case, they still don't want to be alone. So they find someone else, someone's who they can love, even if they're not fated.


But as Austin walks down the hallway, willing himself not to cry over the unbearable pain in his chest, he realizes that he must be the first person to ever be rejected by their soul mate... To be loathed, rather than loved.

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade stood in the hallway for half a moment. A lot had just happened in mere seconds and she had no idea what to do with herself, so as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she followed after Austin. If her were to look back though, he wold most likely take note that she didn't seem like herself, like she was...off in some sense.

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin had the urge ot turn around, to turn and run back to Jade, beg her to return his love... But he wouldn't. He'd ruined her life enough, forcing her to love him wouldn't be his next on the long list of torture he's put her through. He's done with all that.

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade had caught up with Austin's pace quite easily actually, but stopped when she came to the living room of his house. She didn't really care to look around much, she was just looking for clock, she had to know what time it was and seeing as her phone was dead, she'd have to look around for something. "Austin?" She said, her voice sounding normal, though she felt no where near normal.

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin stops walking rather abruptly as he hears Jade's call to him, "Um.. Yeah..?" He doesn't turn to look at her, because he knows that if he does, he'll run to her, and never let her go... He would just stand there, and not pressure her to feel one way or another, and hopefully she'll start to feel better...

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade steals a glace at him, then quickly looks away. "What time is it?" She asked as she didn't seemed to be finding what she was looking for, or if there was a clock she couldn't find it..maybe it was because in a sense she didn't want to leave, but then again she needed to. She needed to get away from this mess and think things though for herself.

 

[Zotohxan]

A silent sigh escapes Austin's lips, feeling absolutely defeated and depressed over the fact the love of his life so obviously couldn't wait to leave... He then pulls his phone from his pocket, reading the time before reciting it back to her. "6:34. You slept quite awhile..."

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

JAde blinks several times and walks over to him and looks at the phone time. "...I'll be damned.." She said softly, her chest gently pressing against his arm as she looked over at the phone, stunned. She'd slept at least a full 8 hours or so..she'd never gotten that much sleep. Or at least not in a good while. Why did she sleep so well? Was it because of how sick and tired she was? Or was it the fact that Austin was there..and for the first time in what felt like..maybe forever..she felt..safe.

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin's breath catches in his throat as he feels Jade's chest against his arm, her breath hitting his wrist. His hand shakes slightly, his eyes closing gently as he revels in the voluntary contact he gets from the girl beside him. She never touched him voluntarily unless there was no other way to get through something... So, now, even the minimal bit of contact he's getting sends him over the moon; an absolutely euphoric feeling settling in, straight down to his bones." Yeah... You look really well rested." His brows then knit together in concern. "You don't sleep that much, do you..?"

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade looks up at him, her eyes meeting his. "I'd lie and say yeah..but..there's no point in lying huh? I bet you can read me.." She said softly, her voice filling with teasing tones as she shakes her head. "In all honesty, no I don't sleep much. I can't. Not even on my medication." She admitted. Her eyes feel away from his as she looked down at the phone again, as if the time couldn't quite be real. There was no way she got 8 solid hours of sleep.

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin nods slowly in understanding before shutting off his phone's display and pocketing the device once again. "Yeah... Well, you should probably get home, right?" He keeps his head down, his gaze focused more off to the side, jumping from object to object in hopes of keeping off Jade.

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade lets out a soft laugh. "Yeah. Home." She said, the words sounding harsher than she thought. "I'd rather not go back to the dorms, where my roommate is.." She said, and meant it too. She loved her roommate, the girl was amazing and Jade never minded when she brought her soulmate, who in fact was a girl, to the dorms. It was just the problem of..the soulmate of her's never left..and they fucked..a lot which is a lot of the reason Jade never really went back to her dorm. She was glad the girls were happy, she just didn't like dealing with how..'happy' they were. It also kind of depressed her, because in a way, she knew she'd never have anything like that.

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin furrows his brows, still not looking at Jade as he replies. "You can stay here if you'd like, then. Like I said, I won't be back til tomorrow." He then begins to walk toward his apartment door, again. Taking fairly long strides so that he could leave quickly. The warm feeling through his chest from being near his soulmate was just too much for him to handlwe.. All he wanted to do was hug her and kiss her, tell Jade just h much he loves her.. But, of course, he can't.

 

[KhalZhavvorsa]

Jade sighs a bit and mumbles lowly. "I'd love to stay here.." And it was, in a sense, true. She kinda liked it here, it felt..normal. Which was weird because normally she was scared of Austin. She shakes her head once more and begins following after him. "I can't. I have to be at the art studio at my collage. I have this huge thing that I'm painting. It looks so awesome! I can't wait for i-" She stops mid sentence and blushes deeply. "S-sorry. You probably don't care. Anyways, I gotta go too." She said with a small nervous laugh and an awkward smile to him.

 

[Zotohxan]

Austin shakes h head, "Of course I care. I've been paying attention to you for forever. I know all about the project, ands I know that you're at the top of your class... Even though you won't admit it." He shrugs lightly before reaching the door and opening it up, then digging in his pocket and pulling out a ring of keys. He takes one off the bundle after a moment of searching for it, and has it to Jade, his first time actually looking at her since confessing. "You can feel free to come here whenever you want. If you want away from your roommate and her girlfriend for awhile, you can crash here. I'm normally gone on the weekends, and Sunday thru Wednesday I don't sleep here. Hello yourself to whatever's here..." He trails off, relaizing that he was probably freaking her out, at least a little. He turns away, and starts down the hallway to once more head to the complex's lobby he could leave. "So, yeah... See you later..."