Advice/Help Have sociable game masters improved your online rp experience?

[baggysack]

Taking a bit of a breather for rp -- I don't miss what I'd been doing, frankly. But I'm totally into running my own group rp, my own unique setting and plot and maybe some light mechanics. I've accumulated a ton of ideas for games that would ordinarily give me pause or be communicated poorly on my own but that could succeed when fleshed out in a group environment.

But fuck people. Honestly! I hold fast to the remnants of online anonymity permitted by Our Google Overlords. Social life and Internet just don't mesh for me, and I hate it when other people put themselves out there on a roleplay forum with pictures of themselves, voice/video calls, or discussion of their real lives.

...does that ring as patronizing or otherwise contradictory with wanting to GM? I know real tabletop sessions are as much about the people as the characters -- does that change online? If you're a player, has getting to know the other players/GM been a boon for your/their activity? If you're a GM, or have been, has reaching out to players helped your game succeed?

Preference is cool to hear, but examples would be more helpful, especially for group roleplays! There's only so much I can research on my own with most people turning to Discord.

And as a side note, I don't personally consider plotting "socialization," though it may depend for others. I've never had an aversion to discussing plot/character direction, or anything else "on-topic," especially when it's kept on-forum. It's when people start sending pictures of their dogs that I tend to avoid OOC.

 

[Crayons]

Welp I'm cool with pet pictures but I'm not super interested in telling my rp partners every detail of my life unless we become friends through chatting OOC about other things. I've been in rp discords where people share their boob pics and that is just a tiny tad stepping across the line for me. I'm pretty suspicious of oversharing people because ... I'm British? And idk I'm also old and I find it weird that people feel you need to know everything about them including their underpant colour and brand of deodorant . XD

But hell yeah send those dog, cat, bunny, snek and pet pictures. I'm into it. XD

 

[baggysack]

I've been in rp discords where people share their boob pics and that is just a tiny tad stepping across the line for me.

Ohh, yeah, just a little! I remember someone bought a new bra and wanted to share lol

 

[Jet]

OOC friendships are vital, not optional. If your OOC is dead your RP will be too. Voice hangouts are a thing now as well, it's not weird to kick it in VC. It can be really refreshing to talk about your characters in a non-text medium because it's casual and heartfelt. Definately a good tool to keep people around OOC and that's very important. If people hangout OOC they won't ghost because there's friendships to consider. VC is a tool for cultivating that (and you can make friends too but what's really important ).

Overall I think VC hangouts where you get to know people is a good thing. Text over discord/forum doesn't compare. I'm not saying you should live in the VC but talking to members is good.

Far as posting selfies, real life social media links, personal pictures ( Crayons that server sounds crazy in a bad way) I'm gonna say no to that as a whole. I once posted a normal (SFW no weirdness) selfie while drunk because a bunch of people were doing it in my server, but that was a one-off. I'm not gonna roast people who do this but you can't trust people over discord. Text is easy to lie with, people can act cuddly "uwu" super-nice while being scumbag psychopaths; slight them and they can doxx you.

I got doxxed in the comp-gaming community with a fucking car picture so I know how people get down. Someone who didn't like me trawled through my city with Google maps and found my car on the street. Then they used public records to find names attached to the address of the house behind it. Mind you this was a picture of my car with my house in the background, selfies makes it even easier. I wouldn't say it's creepy to post personal stuff but it can have consequences. Don't trust people on the internet fully no matter how much you like them. Trusting them 95%? That's fine but never 100%.

 

[baggysack]

Jet
That's terrible to hear, thank you -- particularly about VC.

I can say this: the best rp experience I had had a very active OOC and it wasn't a coincidence. Shit-talking peoples' characters in the ooc thread became the appeal of the game. I can't remember what portion of that talk became personal (by my standards); I'm afraid that trying to encourage plotting in my own games would transition into those types of conversations... mostly because of what you mentioned: having trusted people on the internet before and getting bodied.

Yeah, I assume whatever pissed him off wasn't worth getting doxxed for. Good shit, good shit.

 

[Crayons]

Ohh, yeah, just a little! I remember someone bought a new bra and wanted to share lol

I only wish these titties were wearing a bra. XD

I'm pretty much with Jet here except that I really don't like VC. I don't like talking on the phone to people I know irl, and VC is like a thousand times more anxiety inducing.

 

[Onmyoji]

Having active OOC is good but I'm not interested in every single person's private life and the color of their pillows. I don't mind when people post photos of their pets even though I'm not particularly interested either.

Within a group you might naturally become closer to some people more than with others and then sharing personal stories would make more sense. I would gladly see their pets, their pillows, and whatnot lol Because it's not about random pets and pillows, it's already about the person who you actually care about.

I dislike voice chat with more than one person, it's always confusing with someone always having connection issues (I have never seen a group voice chat that had no issues at all lol), and I don't feel compelled to talk when everyone is trying to talk at once and it gets awkward.
Again, when you get closer to someone from the group, I wouldn't mind voice chatting with them 1x1 if we both feel like it.

So I definitely can say I support OOC chat but to a certain extent until it becomes overbearing.

 

[baggysack]

Yeah, a natural progression makes more sense than any expectations from the get-go. Good points about VC, too Onmyoji !

 

[Grey]

I personally make no distinction between my roleplaying activity and my usual socialization these days. In part because of the ever-wretched self-promotion that dogs any independent designer, and in part because the social aspect of roleplaying is a big part of the draw for me. I spend enough time writing alone; let me share this shit with some people.

I primarily GM and I generally find strong links with players beneficial. I reach out to specific people when I'm pitching an RP I think they'd enjoy, I have an easier time refining content and sharing ideas when someone knows me well enough to take it in the appropriate spirit, and I find it makes everyone more polite about absences or withdrawals.

I can't think of specific examples right now because it's pretty much standard procedure, for me, but there have been RPs that only got off of the ground or went in interesting directions because I knew the right people to bring in.
Also, it helps with defusing tense situations OOC if you know everyone well enough to mediate.

 

[rae2nerdy]

If you're a player, has getting to know the other players/GM been a boon for your/their activity?

Absolutely. The longest running roleplays I have been in (we’re talking multiple years) succeeded partially due to a strong bond between players. Now a lot of what your describing as socialization is not anything I have run into. I don’t think voice chats were even possible in the roleplays I was in nor for that matter sharing pictures. But we did talk about work shifts or sometimes the books we were reading stuff like that. But the bulk of the conversation was about character plotting. I think having an ability to at least feign interest in people’s lives is good because it makes it feel like you care about me as a person. That I’m not just some disposable cog in the machine. Especially now a days when everyone is panicking about the pandemic it’s kinda nice to be able to chat with folks about inconsequential things

If you're a GM, or have been, has reaching out to players helped your game succeed?

Communication is critical. I am by nature an overly organized person which can translate to appearing very strict or nagging. So I find that ice breakers help put people at ease. When I was a GM I mandated activity in the OOC because it fosters strong bonds and gets everyone to form friendships or at least keep enthusiasm up. Now as the GM I didn’t necessarily share cat videos or whatever because I was usually too busy keeping things organized. But if people wanted to have a side discussion about a new book they were reading I might chime in if I had the time.

What I did do, and this might help you if you aren’t good at sharing IRL details, is I set up little games for people to play in the OOC. Icebreaker kinda things that kept people engaged but where related to the plot. (You might have to appoint someone to help you come up with them cuz they can be time consuming).

some examples where matchmaking games, where people could pm me ships they had with the playable characters and NPCs OR two playable characters. And we would vote on them in the OOC and at the end of the game I made banners for the winning ship. Another fun one was gif interviews where people would answe random questions as their character using gifs.

Basically just fun things to keep people chatting and having a good time that don’t require you to learn about their IRL if that makes you uncomfortable.