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Realistic or Modern [Gritty, toxic relationship. MxM and FxF] I Hate You, Please Don't Leave Me.

Leroux

Fordi du var så forskjellig fra de andre.
Roleplay Availability
Roleplay Type(s)
TRIGGER WARNING
Will involve mature themes one-sided abuse, toxic relationship, potentially severe physical violence, mental illness, and other possible elements.

ONLY PROCEED IF YOU ARE 18 YEARS OLD OR OLDER.
DUE TO THE NATURE OF THE ROLEPLAY, MINORS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED.


Hello!
I'm hoping to find a long-term partner for a story about a gay couple's struggle to make their extremely toxic relationship work because despite everything they're too in love to let go, essentially. It's likely that this will be a pre-established one, though it'll probably be one that's only a couple months old to make it easier for us to develop the kind of dynamics we want for it without having much restrictions imposed on us, in a way. This plot is pretty much an empty canvas right now, apart from the core idea of toxic cycle that'll lay the groundwork for all the ideas we'll incorporate.

Some bits of imagery for this RP —
mxm ver: blood-smeared skin, cigarette ashes, tangling in the sheets on a late friday night, breakdowns, broken glass, knife scars, trembling fists, euphoric kiss, hoarse whispers, cold petrichor during a rainy night, interlocked hands, waking up at dawn next to emptiness, two distinct scents of aftershave blending in, odour of gasoline, bruises, firm hold, dishevelled hair, bleeding lips
fxf ver: lipstick stains, french perfume, braided hair, fingers laced together, bloodshot eyes, string lights in a room, neon signs, hickeys across the skin, dry petals of a dead flower, late night swims, faded makeup, bloody knuckles, hands around her neck, tear-stained sleeves

A bit about me:
  • 20.
  • Advanced literate
  • Reply length for this RP will likely be in the range of ~1000-2500 words (of course, this is subject to change)
    • I'll probably write longer depending on my level of muse, but I'd like to keep it in that range - mostly because I've got other RPs that tend to range from 3000-5000+ words, but also I do believe that quality is more important than quantity. So as long as the story is good, I don't care that much about the length!
  • Highly selective
  • Quite friendly!



THIS SECTION ONLY APPLIES TO THOSE INTERESTED IN MXM PAIRING



About my character
  • The abuser in the relationship
  • High functioning BPD (may have been diagnosed already or not)
  • Cis male, bi with no lean.
  • Likely in his mid-twenties
What I'd like to see from your character
  • Cis male.
  • Masculine. As in has no feminine traits/features that are typical of stereotyped gay men.
    • If you can make him muscular (preferably lean muscles) that is a huge, HUGE bonus.
    • Basically, what I'm really looking for is just a normal guy who can take care of himself, stand up for himself, shaves his face regularly, etc...all that'll make him feel like a real man, you know? There's just so many feminine gay characters out there, I'm dying to find the complete opposite of that. Especially for this plot, which seems to always attract those kinds of characters.
  • In his mid-twenties.
  • Realistic characterisation in general.
  • Either the same height as my character (6'1) or only slightly shorter



THIS SECTION ONLY APPLIES TO THOSE INTERESTED IN FXF PAIRING



About my character
  • The abuser in the relationship
  • High functioning BPD (may have been diagnosed already or not)
  • Transmasculine/non-binary female
  • ~70% butch, ~30% femme lesbian
  • Military brat
  • In her mid twenties to early thirties
What I'd like to see from your character
  • Cis female.
  • Feminine, but not in the damsel-in-distress, helpless kind of sense.
    • The more assertive/independent/strong in her own ways, the better it is!
  • In her mid-twenties to early thirties
  • Realistic characterisation in general.
    • PLEASE, absolutely do not suggest an over-sexualised character.
  • Either the same height as my character (5'11) or only slightly shorter




Expectations:

* Someone who will stay active - as in at least reply (whether that be suggesting ideas, talking OOC, or IC reply) once a week/fortnight. I'm usually very busy with school and I often simply don't have enough time/energy to write up an IC reply within a week so it ends up taking me several weeks (though I've been gradually getting better at replying quickly). So I don't expect you to always be replying. I don't mind at all if you take a few weeks to give me an IC reply (hell I kinda do this all the time). Life happens so there's no rush, but I do need you to communicate with me about it on a regular basis.

* Someone who is willing to invest their time and energy properly into our RP. I have only a small number of partners and I dedicate as much free time I have into those few RP's that I have going. I'm constantly thinking about possible ideas, things to tweak, suggest, enhance...I also do a lot of research to make things feel as realistic and plausible as possible. I expect you to do the same in return (though you don't have to do heaps of research every single time because I don't always do that either). Please don't just sit there passively like you're in a classroom setting saying yes to everything I suggest or that you're fine with anything/'up to you' that kind of thing.

* Someone who will be honest enough with me to say no or suggest an alternative solution when they're dissatisfied with something rather than ghosting like a bloody coward. I'd like to talk things out and figure something out for us, and if it doesn't work, no worries; we can drop it. So there's really no reason for you to just pretend you never signed up for it. If you don't like it after a few days or even just a few hours of discussing the plot? No problem just let me know. But please don't leave me hanging.

* Someone who is so passionate that they'd be willing to discuss/suggest possible what-if scenarios to play out (as a little side RP from time to time, just to experiment with stuff and have fun by blowing off some steam while we have the main story going on), make aesthetics/moodboards, share theme songs, and in general ship/talk about the characters OOC. I like to make it fun, because without proper sources of inspiration at times it just becomes this big chore that I feel obliged to take care of. I don't want that to happen.

* Someone with proper grammar/spelling and preferably a wide range of vocabulary. Either literate or advanced literate. Describes every little emotion in a lovely depth.

* Someone who is willing to play side characters.

Comments:

I appreciate you taking the time to read through this, and if you're interested, just shoot me a DM! Looking forward to talking to ya. : )
 
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