Other Ghosting

[auj-blake]

Have you ever been ghosted, or ghosted someone ? If you have ghosted someone, why ? If you had the opportunity to speak to that person again, would you try to resolve reason you ghosted in the first place ? If you have been ghosted before, what would you tell that person ? Would you try and give the, a second chance ? what reason do you think they had to ghost you ?



just wanting to hear other's experiences with this situation

 

[dulcet]

i don't think i've ever been ghosted but i unfortunately ghost people all the time. ?

 

[auj-blake]

i don't think i've ever been ghosted but i unfortunately ghost people all the time. ?

is there a reason why ?

 

[dulcet]

is there a reason why ?

not really a good one
i just kinda of get overwhelmed with life and start to disassociate and stress myself out and then feel guilty for ghosting them which makes me ghost them even more

 

[MechanicalSnake]

Sometimes people ghost me after two or three RP posts. I live with that and do not bother to ask. If its after a longer time I try to ask and solve the problem. I have ghosted one person for the reason that they were writing like a 5 year old child and I didnt know of a nice way to tell them that.

 

[auj-blake]

Sometimes people ghost me after two or three RP posts. I live with that and do not bother to ask. If its after a longer time I try to ask and solve the problem. I have ghosted one person for the reason that they were writing like a 5 year old child and I didnt know of a nice way to tell them that.

All of that is understandable.

 

[hunni]

guiltyyyy ;(( its been a while though

 

[Anamnesis]

I've been on both ends of it, and personally it doesn't bother me much unless I had an OOC connection with the writer in question. For me, personally, I have 'ghosted' in the sense that if after explaining a problem I had with an rp, or why I was losing interest, the other person made it clear they didn't care and wanted to proceed as we have been, I'd give up and leave because they clearly have no desire to communicate.
I think many people simply ghost because they find it too uncomfortable to confront their partner about why they're unhappy. Which in a society where we often heavily discourage people from complaining (or else they're 'being a bother') is genuinely understandable.

 

[Tove]

That really seems excessive, to block someone by accident but I don't know much of the circumstances of what other people go through. I'm sorry it happened to you. It sucks when you get invested in a story and characters only for it to end abruptly without a reason at times. With that said though, I think you should have dialed it down way down in your pursuit of trying to find the answers.

I understand that part of wanting to know, we all do when we're on the receiving end of ghosting, it's just we won't know the exact reasoning and dwelling on constantly will take away time from finding other people to write with who don't ghost. If you have to pretend to be someone else just to see what's up I hardly think it's worth it to begin with. You're just giving yourself unnecessary drama you don't need.

I have gotten to the point that if I send a message once with no response I just wait to see several days if still no answer I move on.

 

[AnimeGenork]

I've been ghosted plenty of times before, though I usually ended up forgetting it. Once someone hadn't responded forever so I thought we were done, but then they posted on my profile apologizing and I said I wasn't interested. (Writing wise, we didn't match too much, so it wasn't really a huge loss. I thought they would do the starter post and I ended up doing it, so I wasn't that excited about it.) Sometimes the ghost-ers are busy and I get that, so I end up not messaging them because I'm busy myself so what kinda of excuse do I have?

If I ghost someone, it's because I actually cannot stand writing with them. Maybe it's their personality or they're not matching my writing, but I will stop responding and leave it up in the air. I feel bad about it sometimes, but other times I just can't work up the courage to say, "I'm sorry, but I don't like this." I don't want to hurt their feelings about their writing or anything, so I pretend I've been uber busy...and I actually am, so it's not like I'm lying TOO badly...

But yeah. I'm kinda horrible about it. But other times I just have no idea what to say/do about the situation.

 

[Jello]

Usually I ghost people because I don't have the heart to tell them I'm no longer interested. A lot of the time it's also because I become overwhelmed by life. The last time I ghosted people I left the site entirely for almost a year. It's because I found out I was having a child. It sucks because I was in a really good roleplay with a really cool person, but I don't have the guts to message them and explain myself. I know what it's like to be ghosted, and I wouldn't blame someone a bit if they got upset with me for it.

 

[BasiliskVeranda]

I'm going to be kind of vague, since I don't want to hurt feelings, but I hope you get the gist:

I was working on something with a very close friend, and they kept steering the story in a direction that was uncomfortable / didn't make sense. When I tried to broach that subject directly, feelings were hurt.

I had poured blood, sweat, and tears into what we were making, as had they. But they were coming at it from an entirely different angle, it was filling an entirely different need for them, and it was going so far as to make me feel like I had to write OOC because my protagonist would never have been up for all the planned shenanigans.

What is OOC banter or harmless PWP NSFW drivel does not equal what I want to be in the main story.

I still feel bad about it, because I hardcore ghosted. I know I did. I just vanished. But I felt we were so fundamentally misaligned that it was almost impossible to reconcile. On top of that, I was going through turmoil at work, and my threshold for emotional labor at the time was very, very slim (it kind of still is).

I acknowledge that I was, and am, an asshat for doing this. But when you stare at something you spent stupid amounts of time on, and realize that the other person had completely different needs for the story, or reasons for even writing it, and you'll never meet in the middle, you kind of just...I don't know?

Give up?

It hurts. I hate ghosting people.

Other than that, I have ghosted some Discord RPs because people are slow / write poorly / nepotism / etc. I'm not a serial ghoster, but I've found as I get older, I don't have time to spend on things that won't evolve into something worth my time.

That sounds arrogant as heck and I'm aware of that. But writing up profiles takes too much time anyways, and I don't want to waste it if someone is going to give me 1 mispelled paragraph to work with.

I'm the mean girl, and I realize that.

If you had the opportunity to speak to that person again, would you try to resolve reason you ghosted in the first place ?
I don't know if they'd understand...I think they wouldn't. I think they'd be mad. I think even if we tried to pick up where we left off, it's been such a long time, and we haven't at all spoken...it feels like too little too late on my part. I also don't think they'll change the way they RP and nor do I want to ask them to do that.

 

[Idea]

I've been ghosted a heck lot of times. It's just something that happens, specifially if you're someone who juggles a heck lot of RPs at once like me. As for having ghosted people myself, I admit it has happened. The reason isn't anything grandiose or personal, I literally just forgot about the RP or convo for whatever reason and didn't realize it until way too late to take it back.