Advice/Help Ghosting in long term RPs

[MechanicalSnake]

My apologies for bringing up the endless topic of ghosting again. But I was wondering about one thing: why would people ghost an rp thats been going on for two years and/or had over 2000 posts? I mean wouldn't you feel a sense of commitment after such a long time, enough to at least say something? Sure, Its a miracle if an rp actually lasts that long, but thats one more Reason why I wouldnt treat the other as a random stranger. Have you ever done that/ have it done to you? What was the Reason?

 

[rae2nerdy]

Sorry that was a little unclear, I meant what do you mean when you say ghosting? It's a pretty broad term that can mean different things to different people. So in order to answer your question I need to know what you mean when you say ghosting.

 

[MechanicalSnake]

Sorry that was a little unclear, I meant what do you mean when you say ghosting? It's a pretty broad term that can mean different things to different people. So in order to answer your question I need to know what you mean when you say ghosting.

Ghosting Is to me = disappearing suddenly without a word never to come back. /Thought this was Universal/

 

[rae2nerdy]

Nope. Different people have different definitions.

Now I would say that if it's a long term roleplay that actually does make some kind of sense. Perhaps the person simply had real life responsibilities pop up unexpectedly. Perhaps they felt the roleplay was over (depending on how active it was). I mean without further details I can't hazard a guess.

But the roleplays I've had that lasted the longest had several points where people would vanish into thin air only to pop up again when their real life issue was solved.

The most memorable ? A woman was in a car accident and hospitalized for several months. She ended up coming back as soon as she could get on a computer and apologizing. Which the rest of the thread was very understanding.

 

[MechanicalSnake]

Nope. Different people have different definitions.

Now I would say that if it's a long term roleplay that actually does make some kind of sense. Perhaps the person simply had real life responsibilities pop up unexpectedly. Perhaps they felt the roleplay was over (depending on how active it was). I mean without further details I can't hazard a guess.

But the roleplays I've had that lasted the longest had several points where people would vanish into thin air only to pop up again when their real life issue was solved.

The most memorable ? A woman was in a car accident and hospitalized for several months. She ended up coming back as soon as she could get on a computer and apologizing. Which the rest of the thread was very understanding.

Well thing is I totally understand that (and I think we have discussed this in another thread) real life issues can do that. It happened to me too with cancer in the family.

However, I've still been thinking about this recently, because I pretty much lost all but one of my long-term roleplays like this within a few months and it provoked a lot of emotional despair... I think it's unlikely that 4 people would suddenly have their house burn down or something at the same time. (If they did, I'm really sorry for assuming otherwise )

I also understand that sometimes a roleplay has run its course and generally I can feel this by watching the frequency of replies drop from several daily to once a day, once in two days, once in a week... once in whenever. But my wondering is related to games that were still getting almost daily posts and in one cases the other person was actively producing fanart of them, which indicated a lot of involvement. So, I'm a bit baffled.

(Another thing that confuses me, if the rp has run its course, wouldn't it still be common courtesy to speak about it, if it's been going for so long and you frequently talked OC?)

 

[rae2nerdy]

Well the important question to ask at this point is - Are they online? If so just ask them directly.

I can't begin to read the minds of strangers and can't tell you what their motivation was. I find the simplest solution is often the most direct. Just ask.

 

[MechanicalSnake]

Well the important question to ask at this point is - Are they online? If so just ask them directly.

I can't begin to read the minds of strangers and can't tell you what their motivation was. I find the simplest solution is often the most direct. Just ask.

Well, I'd love to, but my definition of ghosting as in disappearing pretty much excludes that possibility, because in that case they also don't respond to OC threads where I ask if something's going on So only thing left to do was asking if someone had a similar experience.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Well, I'd love to, but my definition of ghosting as in disappearing pretty much excludes that possibility, because in that case they also don't respond to OC threads where I ask if something's going on So only thing left to do was asking if someone had a similar experience.

Well I mean are they online on the site where you can contact them or are they off the computer entirely?

 

[rae2nerdy]

Because if their off the computer that seems like a real life situation to me. And you honestly can't know what became of them without waiting for them to show back up and tell you. Maybe they had a death in the family, maybe their computer broke, maybe they had to move. I don't know. And you can't either. Unless you can call them up on the phone or something.

 

[Idea]

From your description of the situation, I surmise the most likely scenario was that some of the partners met unfortunate circumstances like what geek is saying, and others may simply have run out of gas. Even unusually long hype periods eventually dry out, especially in roleplays hitting slow moments or moments which a player just can’t get into.

A few months is actually a pretty long time span in terms of RPs by regular measures, so it’s not all that weird that such long term RPs might end within that timeframe.

 

[tinydollxo]

Personally, I could not imagine role-playing with someone for that long without forming some sort of 'ooc' bond/friendship/chat. I understand that some people ARE capable of doing this, so I guess it depends on the situation? But if it were me - if I was involved in a role-play that lasted that long with no ooc chat or anything, yeah, I could see myself getting bored and finally dipping - because there is no connection tying me down so to speak? So no guilt. It would be easy. If I were involved in a role-play that DID have ooc chat I probably wouldn't just bail after that long without a warning or a 'hey, this has really run it's coarse, it's been fun' kind of thing. So, I feel like maybe something went down on their end? Could be anything.

 

[PhoenixMire]

Yeah... I'd say if they've vanished completely and aren't online at all, real life has claimed them. But if they've suddenly dropped the RP but are still online, that's pretty frustrating. After RPing with someone for a very long time, I think it's only courteous for them to let you know they want to stop the RP.
But if they simply disappeared and aren't online at all... I'd be more worried about their well-being than anything haha

 

[LunaHasawa996]

My longest RP is 3 years and going. It would devistate me if my partner suddenly stopped talking to me given how long our RP has gone, and how many twists and turns it has taken.