Advice/Help Finding the heart to kill off a character

[PopcornPie]

Consider this a part two of my thread asking how to avoid problematic characters. It provides all the context.

In a nutshell, dad found out about my primary RP muse, the Gravity Falls character Giffany. He has banned me from using her on the grounds that she is inappropriate. I can carry her through the end of RPs she is already in, but I can't write anything new with her. So the only option is to kill her off at the end of said RPs.

But here's the thing...she is flat, she can be annoyingly cheerful, and I do tend to drag her away to do her own thing...but, and this is going to sound strange, but I have an attachment to her now. She's the first canon character I have played to my memory, and, even if she needs development, I still enjoy writing her. I just enjoy writing this klutzy, energetic girl who just wants companionship. Hell, roleplaying with her, using her to improve my writing...it gave me a love for writing that I never felt before. I have her to thank for even being here.

Really, I should have asked for criticism earlier. I do want her to be liked. I do want her to be the best she can be. If I just asked people what they really thought of her, then I wouldn't be asking this at all. I wouldn't be faced with killing her. To be forced to kill her off now that I have a pocketful of tips for strengthening her, and never get to practice them with her, just doesn't feel fair. But I can't fight it.

I just...I don't have the heart. I think about emotional death scenes all the time, but now, when I'm actually faced with killing off a character, I can't bring myself. She has potential. If I go through with the plans I cobbled together, and kill her off, I'll never be able to give her that growth. I could say she was just a spirit in a shell, and reincarnate her, but it wouldn't be the same. Even if I found a character with her exact personality, it wouldn't be the same.

Despite my big blocks of text and flowery vocabulary, I really am still an fledgling RPer at the core. This is going to be my first time killing anybody off. Just thinking about it is hurting me. So...what do I do? Is there anything I can do to at least numb the pain? What is the method to killing off a character gracefully? Or is there a deathless solution I could use instead?

 

[Crayons]

Since you don't actually want to kill her, I'd advise putting her on a bus instead - as in, find a reason why she leaves the story, the plotline, the area, the other characters.

But in all honesty I think you should just keep playing her and it's none of your dad's business. :/

 

[Jannah]

Why does your dad care so much? Is he a published author or something?

 

[FoolsErin]

Since you don't actually want to kill her, I'd advise putting her on a bus instead - as in, find a reason why she leaves the story, the plotline, the area, the other characters.

But in all honesty I think you should just keep playing her and it's none of your dad's business. :/

Basically this. You don’t have to kill her, just make her “walk off into the sunset” and leave into the magical land of exited out of the story.

And yea, I really don’t know why you’re dropping this character over your dad’s request. It’s not really something he should care about, and I don’t know why he should influence what you write. I’m curious though, why the heck are you actually doing what he wants regarding something this questionable? Is he threatening punishment or something?

Edit: I also don’t think the way you write Giffany is really problematic at all, but that’s a rant for when I get home later today and have the power of a keyboard at my disposal.

 

[Tove]

Not kill her if playing her makes you happy.

 

[ashwynne]

Going to echo what everyone else is saying about not killing her.

If it were me, I would send Giffany on a bus to boarding school (or whatever) and practice writing other characters until you’re a legal adult and then bring her back to write with.

I think your dad’s reasons for not wanting you to write as her are ridiculous, but if he’s not the type who’d be willing to sit down and listen while you explain your side of things and you want to keep peace in the household then yeah... I’d wait till you're legally of age and write as her again.

Don’t kill her off just because he didn’t like her, that’s silly when you’re that attached to her.

 

[M.J. Saulnier]

I can carry her through the end of RPs she is already in, but I can't write anything new with her. So the only option is to kill her off at the end of said RPs.

Is she a character in that story, or a plug & play, recyclable add-on to be used wherever, whenever?

Here's a wild, zany idea: Why don't you tell her story properly the one time, and give her an actual ending? There is always a choice. You're a writer, figure it out.

 

[PopcornPie]

Is she a character in that story, or a plug & play, recyclable add-on to be used wherever, whenever?

She's a character. Not the main character, nobody is, but is a key player.

Here's a wild, zany idea: Why don't you tell her story properly the one time, and give her an actual ending?

I actually do have an ending planned out for her, sort of...I wanted her to end up in another dimension, and become a warrior there.
But the group is planning to have a sequel, and I did want Giffany to return to her home dimension in it. Thanks to this ban, I'm not sure if I can do it. I have to make her unavailable somehow.

You're a writer, figure it out.

God knows I'm scrambling to.

 

[Lorsh]

can i use your dad as inspiration for my totalitarian fascist RP

 

[Haz.]

can i use your dad as inspiration for my totalitarian fascist RP

Seconded. y/n?

 

[PopcornPie]

Heheh, sure.

 

[Ferociousfeind]

here's the plan: replace Giffany with a similar character not named Giffany, because fuck your dad, he's got no business bossing you around on your own medium! Yeah!!

Or, the bus thing works. Just carting her off somewhere else so she has no way or need to interact any more.

 

[rae2nerdy]

So if alternate dimensions are possible in this universe I would go the doppelgänger route.

Option 1. OG!Giffany is replaced by her mirror from an alternate reality. Mirror!Giffany can have the same name/face but maybe slightly different personality. You could even work in the warrior motif by having OG!Giffany go through some kind of offscreen trials to eventually escape the alternate dimension (conviently when you no are no longer under your dad’s control) and you can then finish up her story.

Option B. If that’s a little too convoluted for the world your writing in at this stage just make a literal long lost twin. She can be called Tiffany or something and she comes into the roleplay looking to reconnect with her sister. If memory serves OG!Giffany was an orphan correct? Than it could easily be explained how she never knew she had a twin. Or maybe she blocked her out of her memory or whatever. The two can have similar enough personalities that it will feel like continuing the story while following your fathers guideline to get rid of the “problematic” sister.

 

[Malphaestus]

All roleplays are seperate, I can use/bring/kill any which one of my characters that I desire. So should you be able to.

 

[Lil Shirou]

So if alternate dimensions are possible in this universe I would go the doppelgänger route.

Option 1. OG!Giffany is replaced by her mirror from an alternate reality. Mirror!Giffany can have the same name/face but maybe slightly different personality. You could even work in the warrior motif by having OG!Giffany go through some kind of offscreen trials to eventually escape the alternate dimension (conviently when you no are no longer under your dad’s control) and you can then finish up her story.

Option B. If that’s a little too convoluted for the world your writing in at this stage just make a literal long lost twin. She can be called Tiffany or something and she comes into the roleplay looking to reconnect with her sister. If memory serves OG!Giffany was an orphan correct? Than it could easily be explained how she never knew she had a twin. Or maybe she blocked her out of her memory or whatever. The two can have similar enough personalities that it will feel like continuing the story while following your fathers guideline to get rid of the “problematic” sister.

So do what the flash does and Harrison wells her character. That be interesting

 

[rae2nerdy]

So do what the flash does and Harrison wells her character. That be interesting

Yeah that was exactly what I was thinking. I just didn’t know if OP would get the reference. It actually sounds kinda fun once I wrote it all out. Especially if it could become a running theme in the roleplay proper, kinda like the many faces of Harrison Wells on the flash.

 

[Kazami42]

On behalf of glorious Arstotzka, we elect your father as supreme officer of the department of intelligence. His new eastern extermination program appears quite successful. However we regretfully inform that payment is three less ruble and must share with ten family. The fate of the rest of this family is unknown and awaits. Glory to Arstotzka.

 

[PopcornPie]

I should add that I did try writing an apology letter. (I didn't have to, I was just hoping that it would open up a discussion) Well...dad made it clear that his stance on Giffany is non-negotiable.

You're probably thinking "just use her anyway", but I fear that would be proving why there are very deep trust issues between me and dad.

 

[Kazami42]

I mean no offense if any, but your dad sounds like a toptier pleb that'd be wiped by fifty thousand sandbag armed revolutionists.

I would like to present Plan Rapturian Delta:
Essentially attempt to in one way or another store the character like the gman does in half life. Or perform a Houdini. Essentially the disappearance or faking death of a character but storing them safely in mind or elsewhere for revival in the future. Or the main highlight, masquerade. Disguise the character as a complete polar difference figuratively. Once capable, revert to original version and carry on. Regardless, Iron Division mourns with you.


In the end, I don't believe one should have to suffer because part of the family are... well intellectually demon is an offensive term, the correct modern term is the mortally challenged.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I should add that I did try writing an apology letter. (I didn't have to, I was just hoping that it would open up a discussion) Well...dad made it clear that his stance on Giffany is non-negotiable.

You're probably thinking "just use her anyway", but I fear that would be proving why there are very deep trust issues between me and dad.

And if that’s something you need to work on IRL with a professional that’s fine.

I think something you might be struggling with is the idea of a reboot/recycled character. If you are not very experienced role playing and this if your first experience with not finishing a storyline it can seem sad.

But honestly 99% of roleplays fail within the first page anyway. So 99% of your characters are going to get rebooted pretty much constantly over an endless number of roleplays. Even if you only ever play this one character she is going to have to change to be able to adapt to different role plays over the years.

So think of this less as killing her off and more like evolving her (like she’s a Pokémon or something). For right how her new evolved form will need a new name/face probably to give your father a win. But that doesn’t mean you have to totally start from scratch.

If the suggestions in the thread don’t work why don’t you share her character sheet and the storyline you want with her. And the community can help you find ways to incorporate that into an “evolved” character that will let you continue her story even if you have to make some cosmetic changes.

Also not for nothing I think you getting some feedback on her from actual role players will help with your anxiety. You still seem to be taking your dads assessment to heart and nothing I have seen so far shows that it holds water.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Oops forgot if you don’t have a CS you can do a simple elevator pitch for the feedback.

:: PERSONALITY ::
One to two paragraphs describing Giffany’s personality/character traits.

:: APPEARANCE ::
A paragraph describing her physical appearance. Doesn’t have to be too in-depth since that’s not too much of an issue, this is more for the writing practice.

:: BACKSTORY ::
A paragraph about her backstory as it stands and a second paragraph about where you want her story to go (can be longer if needed)

:: NEEDS IMPROVEMENT ::
What do YOU think needs improving about this character? Not what your dad thinks, not what other people have told you. What in your personal opinion are the areas that need improving?

:: FAVORITE THINGS ::
What are specific things you like about the character? What are aspects your looking forward to writing about?

If she has like magic powers or something you can add that in somewhere too but since that’s not been mentioned I’m assuming she doesn’t have them or they’re not something your concerned about.

Note if your on mobile just swipe right to see the full text in the code box.

 

[PopcornPie]

Nerdy, that is a great suggestion, which I would happily use.

The problem is, I can't ever bring her back in ANY form. She is locked away. That's why I was initially asking how I could kill her off altogether.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Nerdy, that is a great suggestion, which I would happily use.

The problem is, I can't ever bring her back in ANY form. She is locked away. That's why I was initially asking how I could kill her off altogether.

I mean you can still tell us about the character from memory. Unless your father just plain doesn’t want you to roleplay period I don’t see how he’s going to stop you from making new characters.

And that’s basically what this is, taking the foundation you have created and building on it. You don’t literally have to make a new version of the same character. You can make a more symbolic evolution of the character by creating someone new “Tiffany” for instance that takes the elements you enjoyed from Giffany and also the improvements recommended for the original creation.

I will give you an example from my very first suite of characters when I started roleplaying. (edited after I dug up some old character sheets

I had Aimee, Adelaide, and Amanda LeBelle. Amanda was the only one with a distinct backstory/personality. The other two where kind of interchangeable and were basically doppelgängers of each other.

Aimee - was the shy one who was usually depicted as a (literal) succubus who fed on life force OR a mutant who did the same.

Adelaide - was the excitable one who was on a constant sugar high. She didn’t have any powers that I can remember.

Amanda - my first Harry Potter OC, a cringed French stereotype with no personality that I can remember.

Addy and Aimee are the two that stood the test of time. I rewrote and refined them, switched up their names and even swapped backstories with names (made Addy a succubus and Aimee a energized bunny).

But they helped me learn to be a better writer by steadily working on fleshing out their particular archetypes. Because turns out while I haven’t used either character in years I have kept at their archetypes around. Aimee has progressed from shy to a more level headed nerdy character who is often the straight man in more bombastic role plays. Addys spiritual successors are still energetic little spazzes but with more fleshed out backstories and personality traits.

Heck I even still use their aesthetic which is kind of surprising to me.

So yeah just because you aren’t playing the literal Giffany any more (forever or just for awhile) doesn’t mean you can’t look at what you love about that character and build something new.

 

[Malphaestus]

Nerdy, that is a great suggestion, which I would happily use.

The problem is, I can't ever bring her back in ANY form. She is locked away. That's why I was initially asking how I could kill her off altogether.

Discuss it with the GM, or your partner, if you do 1x1s. Kill them in one post, and make it a plot point.

I will admit, the 'problem' is rather bizarre.

 

[rae2nerdy]

To continue from my above point. P PopcornPie basically really ask yourself the two final question in my elevator pitch.

What are the things you want to improve in Giffany and what are the things your enjoy about her? And basically use those answers as a foundation for a new character. Whether you choose to view this is a total character starting from scratch or a evolution of your first character is ultimately down to semantics.

What’s important is that you are going to be able to grow as a writer and continue to work with a character you love in some capacity.

I think this idea that it has to be either Giffany or some totally new idea is a little extreme. It can simply be a character that grew out of the experience you had with the one before. Whatever your father may say he can’t reach into your mind and make your erase a character you enjoy. He can only forbid you from writing with this exact format of the character.

He can’t stop you from writing another excitable ditz of a character who is looking for love and to save the world. Or whatever was the story you wanted to try with Giffany.

I mean I don’t know enough of what you like about Giffany to help you evolve the character but if you would like me to help more in-depth you can PM me directly or even post a thread asking for tips on how to write a character based on the things you like and what you want to improve on (also maybe a bit about the roleplay so we know how much realism is needed)