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Fantasy FableWood - OOC

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Feddy Wap said:
Oops sorry! I was in a rush trying to get a post out at the time, I can change it so it would be when he gets off if you’d like or before she gets off the horse?
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He’s off the horse now, so you could just post again with her doing it now if you’d like. :)
 
Ridge Ridge Hey, just some friendly advice here. The beginning of your post feels a bit disconnected in thought. Like, I have a hard time following what Lira is thinking. >.< The sentences just kind of seem fragmented to me.

An easy way to fix it would simply be going back and making sure adverbs and such connect and flow more smoothly. For example,

"Lira Verne’s with confidence again when she rejoined" Your first sentence could be changed to this: "Lira Verne's confidence was with her again when she rejoined the party."

Again, just some friendly advice. Feel free to take it or leave it. ^^
 
Lioness075 said:
Ridge Ridge Hey, just some friendly advice here. The beginning of your post feels a bit disconnected in thought. Like, I have a hard time following what Lira is thinking. >.< The sentences just kind of seem fragmented to me.

An easy way to fix it would simply be going back and making sure adverbs and such connect and flow more smoothly. For example,

"Lira Verne’s with confidence again when she rejoined" Your first sentence could be changed to this: "Lira Verne's confidence was with her again when she rejoined the party."

Again, just some friendly advice. Feel free to take it or leave it. ^^
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I’ll take it! My posts aren’t great at the moment as I’m relying on my phone due to my computer being busted till March :(
 
Feddy Wap said:
I’ll take it! My posts aren’t great at the moment as I’m relying on my phone due to my computer being busted till March :(
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Oh man, I can totally understand the struggle of posting on a phone. I had to do that in the original FableWood RP for most of one of my summers and it certainly got rough at times. It was worse, too, because I was determined to color my character's speech despite being on my phone haha.
 
Lioness075 said:
Oh man, I can totally understand the struggle of posting on a phone. I had to do that in the original FableWood RP for most of one of my summers and it certainly got rough at times. It was worse, too, because I was determined to color my character's speech despite being on my phone haha.
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It’s a real struggle! It’s why my grammar is off a lot of the time. But hopefully, I’m praying, that when March comes I’ll be back to my normal writingZ
 
Kawashima Lightning said:
So I just realized we have an Ash and an Ashley...How are we gonna tell who's who?
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could just spell out Asling each time XD, make it a little simplified while writing the scene. Or everyone can just come up with a fun nickname for Asling. They would be pretty hyped for a fun, new, name.
 
zCrookedz said:
Dantalion is way more interested in Jekyll and Hyde than I would have thought St. Boethius St. Boethius I am very interested how he plans on coaxing that potion out of Jekyll.
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He will probably offer to grant him a small request, nothing that would require the full power of his abilities.

Also i just realized how unique Jekyll and Hyde would be when compared to normal humans. It’s no wonder Dantalion would be so interested.
 
for some reason it won't change the last sentence to black text. :/ I tried editing it like 5 times.
Edit: nevermind, I just rewrote it since it was being dumb.
 
SleepyBuddha said:
He will probably offer to grant him a small request, nothing that would require the full power of his abilities.

Also i just realized how unique Jekyll and Hyde would be when compared to normal humans. It’s no wonder Dantalion would be so interested.
Click to expand...
Hmmm, now I have to think about what Jekyll would ask for from a Djin. 0.0 or if he would even accept such an offer.
 
Polyblank said:
Man you guys need a real monster. Lemme help you.
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I have some concerns.
If your character eats people, they are going to have issues with almost all of the other characters. An overly-anatagonistic character isn't going to do well here.
The personality section is far too short. Please extend it.
Lastly, the bio section has the subheading right down at the bottom, it should be removed.
Also just to note, there is no modern setting in this rp. So the pics are only reflecting your character, not the place she comes from in FableWood.
 
SilverFlight said:
I have some concerns.
If your character eats people, they are going to have issues with almost all of the other characters. An overly-anatagonistic character isn't going to do well here.
The personality section is far too short. Please extend it.
Lastly, the bio section has the subheading right down at the bottom, it should be removed.
Also just to note, there is no modern setting in this rp. So the pics are only reflecting your character, not the place she comes from in FableWood.
Click to expand...
Indeed. While she has eaten people, She's most likely going to become more passive with other characters if she trusts them. Also, I am well aware of the time period and it is purely to understand the way her kin live - so basically the same attitude, but bars and mead instead of drinks and clubs. History repeats itself when it comes to indulgence. I'll fix the bio error, and I will add to her personality.
 
Polyblank said:
Indeed. While she has eaten people, She's most likely going to become more passive with other characters if she trusts them. Also, I am well aware of the time period and it is purely to understand the way her kin live - so basically the same attitude, but bars and mead instead of drinks and clubs. History repeats itself when it comes to indulgence. I'll fix the bio error, and I will add to her personality.
Click to expand...
I’m not the gm but imo. I think it’s more of the others trust her rather than her trusting them. Knowing she eats people I doubt they want humans to go anywhere near her.
 
Based on how most of the humans reacted to Cerberus, I'd imagine they would not be able to handle this new character's appearance any better. That might be another issue that could come up. The appearance alone will make everyone instantly distrust the character and then if anyone learns of their history, the distrust will only deepen. It could be very challenging to make it work with the current party. That's the biggest thing that stands out to me.
 
Polyblank Polyblank So I've had a bit of feedback from the other players and I think the consensus is that your character would not be a good fit for the rp. I'm afraid I can't accept it even with the edits.
 
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