Still, I think I get what you mean. You have to go where the fun is. All of us do.
As we get older, sometimes the definition of fun changes, but the desire to have fun, to nurture that child inside each of us with togetherness, for the want of Good Times, never quite leaves, does it?
So, how to scratch the itch?
I strongly recommend you check out "How to be a Great GM" channel on YouTube. On their Discord, Guy and his buddies talk about all things gaming. There are numerous people on that channel who game via internet and I'm sure you could be one of them.
You take good care, lady! It was a real pleasure knowing you and your terrific characters, like the most Meltrandi of them all, Neqel Amherst!
Just to state the obvious: I'm retired from RPNation. The site's been good to me, from Rpdom days until now. Great stories, great characters.
I seem to have entirely lost the ability to sustain interest in play by post, though. When responses lag days to weeks, I circle back and there's these big story posts and just reading and digesting them and reacting to them (and every other player character's post) in my post becomes a mountain to climb. A mountain that's all work, no joy. And I realized it's been years since I was actually having a good time doing this.
If folks are up for some 'live' gaming, tabletop style over Discord text maybe, I'm in! The immediacy of "I write three sentences" "Someone else writes three sentences" with a cadence measured in minutes instead of days clicks much better for me now.
Otherwise, good luck and best wishes! Thanks for all the fish!