Melpomene
Writer of Tragedy|Art by ROYTHEART|
It is I, SoundOfSilence, and I have returned! It has been quite awhile since I last did a Writing Thoughts, but I have found the time to write another and I feel that it is about time that I posted another!
As you can see, I will be talking about romance today, as romance is something that is extremely popular in literature and roleplay. In most novels, movies, shows and roleplays, I often find some sort of romance coming up. That’s not to say I find it everywhere, as that would be a lie, but I find it in most places, I would say. And I see some people that seem to think a story would not be complete without a romance. Once again, that might not be the general consensus, but I have talked to many that seemed to have this impression.
Now, I have to start out by saying I do not hate romance, as I found some people assume I do. Many think romance is taboo to my characters, and while there actually is no problem with not liking romance and not wanting your characters involved in a romance, just as there is no problem with especially wanting romance, I am actually indifferent to romance as to whether or not my character gets into one.
Now before I go full into this, I am going to start off by saying that I am not talking about romances that are supposed to be akin to a romance book by Nicholas Sparks, or something like Twilight/50 Shades of Grey. One of the reasons I am not including these is because these are, in essence, romantic fantasies and are not necessarily supposed to be well written romances. These might end up with decent romances, but usually it is not made to be a realistically made romance and rather supposed to be… someone’s wish for a romance. It is perfectly okay to enjoy them,if you have fun with it, you do you boo-boo.
Then there comes stories like Romeo and Juliet where the romance is a means to an end, and it might need to be a rather bad romance for the theme and story and such to work out. As Romeo and Juliet may have only known each other for 5 days and didn’t talk much making the romance in itself lackluster, I and many others believe that it is supposed to be a cautionary tale and by the ending it seems to be more about the fact that if the two families could have finally given up their feud, perhaps the two kids’ stories would not have ended in woe. Thus, the romance does not have to work in this instance.
Ultimately what I am trying to say here, I know. I know not all stories need a well-developed romance. I know some stories benefit from having one that is less developed. I know some stories are not supposed to have realistic romances. I know the theme sometimes calls for an underdeveloped romance.
I am certainly not saying every romance must be a realistic developed one. I’m only saying that these, to me, are some of the markings of a realistic developed romance. I suppose this can also show some things I like and don’t like about romance. Just know that I am not attempting to say exactly how your romance should work, and I know that what I say here won’t always work for your intended purpose and wants.
Now without further ado, here it is:
Characters & Chemistry
First thing I would bring up is the actual characters. Firstly, that is to say that I find the best romances and the ones that I care about the most are the ones that are made up of well-written, well-rounded characters. For this, I have a way to see how the characters work off of each other rather than just watching two cardboard cutouts rubbing against one another.
They need to be compatible, at least somewhat. Two personalities that would just completely hate one another, and I mean truly be adverse to one another, it probably is not best to pair them together in a romance. There have been many times when I have seen two characters and all that was running through my head was: “Why are these two together, they don’t like each other at all, yet it seems I am supposed to think this is… romantic and nice?”
. Because the worst thing that could happen, in my perspective, is for a character to go out of characer in order to make a romance work. That, to me, can ruin it completely. I have seen this happen many times, maybe that is just my experience, but I really hate it.
In many action movies I find that the two that are supposed to fall in love either hardly talk to each other throughout the film, or essentially have no chemistry whatsoever and seem to be bickering non-stop, not in a flirtatious way, and often times are downright fed up with one another. Yet at the end we always know that they will get together because that is how the formula has been written.
There is no need for this romance. Many times it does not benefit the characters and the plot, it is… simply done because it can be done. Which I would say is often not the best reason to put something into a story. At least, I would find a reason to write it in.
Then again, many action movies can arguably be looked at as male fantasies, so perhaps this does not count. But I still bring this up as an example to show how it feels when there is no chemistry between two characters and when there seems to be no reason for them to get together other than they’re the respective gender they need to be so that they are able to be attracted to one another.
When it comes to the personalities in themselves, well, there is no one right answer. Sometimes you need to try to test them out together before you know immediately how they will end up. Sometimes characters will be nothing more than friends, so if a romance is being sought, a character may have to be tailored so that romance can happen.
Many like going for the opposites attract approach, but with this approach I think it is very important to mention that they usually have something in common, such as a similar backstory, experiences, or even a certain love or the like. A lot of this help give characters an understanding of one another and can help them naturally enjoy being around each other.
It is hard to make a good romance, I admit. It can be very hard, as you need characters that click in just the right way and sometimes it IS hard to tell how that would happen, as sometimes people do fall in love in mysterious ways.And it may take a lot of trial and error to have characters that have the right personalities, have been through the right events, and are with one another at the right times in order for a romance to develop. Not to mention, it will usually take a good amount of time. So buckle up, you have to be in the long game for many of these romances.
Romance in the Story
Now, I am not going to say that the story needs to have a romance for it to work. I understand that some characters naturally have much chemistry and their interactions develop into a romance. In fact, those are my favorites.
There might be a story where romance is a bit more integral to the plot, but I speak of those that aren’t supposed to be fantasy fulfillers, but rather something more like Beauty & the Beast, where the romance leads to these two people that felt like outcasts finding someone that likes the them in their oddity. This romance is integral to their character arcs and character development. We see their relationship grow and develop. We see them start off perhaps at odds, but spending time with one another, having fun, interacting. There is not this sudden fall into love, we watch it happen.
But there is one thing about this that I think is important to mention. And that is that their characters do not exactly revolve around being in a romance. While the romance certainly helps along their development and arc, the point is not exactly that they fall in love. Rather it is that the Beast, who was outcasted from society and forced to learn a lesson due to his cruelty. The romance is what helped drive him to become a better man in the end and know that he could be loved. With Belle, she has her larger than life adventure and someone that does not wish her to simply fall into the stereotype that all others seem to want her to fall into, namely Gaston, who wishes her to be the stereotypical good demure little wife that he can fill with babies and who will rub his feet.
I bring this specific example up because, I believe in many cases, a character has to exist outside of the romance. What I mean by this is that a proper, well-written character should not be summed up as… the romantic interest for so and so. I think their character arc should consist of something more than “falling in love” at least in the type of romance that I am writing about here.
If they exist outside of the romance, then it often feels more real and more like they are two people that ended up finding their true love in one another. Which, especially for certain characters, finding someone they fall deep in love with can be truly beautiful. However if it feels that they only exist for the pure sake of the romance and no other reason, it, at least to me, can feel a bit less genuine. Though, their personality and what they do for the other character may still be there.
Now, I have to say, that to me, if a character is literally only a romantic interest, and by this I mean that is the only reason they are there, they are an extraneous character. I am not saying that if them being there provides a goal for characters or even helps along a character arc/theme that they are extraneous. Quite the opposite, they are important to the story in some way. Rather I am saying, in a story that does not need a romance, does not benefit from a romance, with a character that is ultimately unaffected by a romance arc and would end up the same at the end of it all either way, and the theme would not benefit at all from a romance being had, a character that existed purely for the sake of a romance is extraneous.
The Drama
Now… a certain drama does often come along with a romance story. As true romantic relationship tends to have complications in them. That is to say, they are not perfect. People fight. Even people in love have times when they cannot stand the other (notice I said times, rather than 24/7 having a constant hatred for the other). Sometimes there are things comes up that does try their relationships. Sometimes people that will seemingly never split are pushed to the edge by one event. Not only do things happen in real life, but especially for a character, this can tie into their character arc, or perhaps, it may even tie into the story or theme in the story. And, for me, moments like these are made all the more suspenseful and leaving me in emotional distress when the romance already feels real and I have already felt these two characters connection.
Disagreements over the events of the story, parts of their pasts making a problem, unrequited love perhaps causing pain or anguish, things that can develop the character, plot and relationship! All of that is good stuff.
Now here is one thing that I have seen pop up again and again in the places where a romance was shoe-horned into a story:
The Love Triangle.
Rarely do I see it well-done. Most of the time, there is no doubt that it is done for the sake of living out a fantasy, so I will not criticize it on that level. But even outside of that, I usually groan when I see it instead of feel an interest. So for a proper love triangle, this is what I think needs to happen:
It should be a real love triangle. As in, if it is two guys, one girl, the girl should actually be into the two guys rather than obviously preferring one guy over the other. I say this, just because, in my opinion, if the girl only really likes one guy, then it is not a love triangle. There is just unrequited love, which as I mentioned is fine, but I would not say that was a love triangle.
A love triangle is when there is literally a triangle. The girl has feelings for both guys and actually has a chance of ending up with either by the end of this arc. I find it to be even better if the two guys have a love for one another, a friendship love, for example. The closest that I found to this was with King Arthur.
Guinevere does love Arthur and does not want to see him hurting, but she also loves Lancelot and is upset to think of not being without him, Lancelot loves Guinevere, but he also loves King Arthur as a friend and does not want to do anything that would hurt his friend. King Arthur loves them both and is saddened because the two people he loves the most are betraying him, but because of his love he wants to see them happy with one another.
To me, that is a true love triangle. And, to make it better, it added to the plot as it was what led to the fall of King Arthur. This is one of the cases when, outside of a romantic fantasy, a love triangle is not pointless. Now to be completely fair, it is usually in a story that is supposed to be a romantic fantasy that love triangles are seen, and it is usually there that they are… from a realistic standpoint, not done well, but it is just supposed to be a way to live out a fantasy, not a masterpiece of character study and literature, so who cares.
Show. Don’t Tell.
This is one of the rules of writing that is pushed more than any other, to always remember that it is important to not just blatantly tell someone how a character feels, but instead to truly show the feelings. This is because, by showing, it makes it easier to immerse yourself into the character’s emotions and feel as they feel. There is a difference between simply being told that someone is sad, and being able to actually see them being sad. Seeing them break. Seeing them love.
Yes, there is a certain impact at times when a character says to another that they love them, but that’s far from the only thing that should be used to show a love between people. I agree that especially when one character is bad at sharing their series, it can be a large step if they actually admit to a person that they love them, but it is meaningless if there was never something that happened that showed how much they love this person, because, really, most people can say they love someone, saying words is not that hard. But actual, genuine, shows of love, that says more than those three words could.
And of course, everyone likes to see people sacrificing themselves. People love someone risking their lives over another, but I would also say that there’s something there to the very small things that show someone loves another.
Maybe they do something simple just to see the other smile. They go a little out of their way when they don’t have to, just to do something for another. No, I don’t necessarily mean that they throw money at this person and get them generic gifts such as flowers and chocolates (though, there is nothing wrong with this, if this character that they are getting things has shown a love for getting these types of gifts), but perhaps a cheap relic that they know their SO would like. Perhaps a relic or item that relates to something they most love. Perhaps simply showing how well they know and understand them by doing something that their SO likes.
Outside of gift giving, there are many things. Such as just being there for them and understanding their problems, even when it is some of the smallest of problems. Maybe even showing how they want the best for that person and would even be happy for them no matter where they end up, as long as they know they will have a fantastic life.
Just these small and basic things that show that they love one another is enough. Without actually being able to see that these two people love each other, it means nothing when they simply say that they love each other.
And I feel this is important to mention because this is something that I know that more than I feel strong about.
Final Words and Goodbyes
Now, this is not for Rping, necessarily, this is also something that I mention for a story in general. I know if you are a romance Rper, you likely prefer something that is more like the stereotypical romance book/story rather than what I have listed here (I know I am being repetitive, but I really want to make sure that everyone understands me when I say, I know this type of romance that I have written about is not for everyone and that is okay).
I wrote this, also, because I know romance gets a very bad rap, and I know that there is… a good reason for this. No matter how much one likes the stories that are listed first and foremost in the romance genre, it is undeniable that most in that genre are not the pinnacle of character creation, plot, or writing and tends to be formulaic. That is why romance Rps get a bad rap, in my opinion, as well as most stories in general.
Part of this is to show that a realistic romance is attainable, if it is desired and something a story might call for.
Much of this comes from my own experience, so I understand if you have a different opinion and I invite you to share it! Add some things. Tell me about your favorite romance in an Rp you have played in! Tell me about the favorite romance you have read and why you liked it! Everything I wrote here, I took romances that I thought were well-written and really touched me in ways that others just could not. And I’ve seen many people try to copy romances like this, but… not succeeding. So, you can even give me the worst experiences and examples and show why certain things don’t work and how it could be made better!
Have fun my friends!
Ciao for now,
SoundOfSilence