Experiences When a partner throws you off...

[Crispy Otaku Sandwich]

I mean, when your planning a totally normal role play, -- and then they just throw something out there that's like, 'Oh. Okay...That's weird' And are really unsure how to respond. Like, 'My character is going to be 4'0' which is literally medically speaking dwarfism, which isn't a BAD thing to be clear, but it's sort of like "Oh... We didn't discuss this" or asking for kink or fetish related things when you've made it clear you're NOT looking to cyber.

How do you guys usually handle this? xD Tell them you're not interested or just kind of ignore them?

 

[Ashlynn X.]

I just go real silent and pretend I went afk until they leave. xD

 

[Slinkyvboredom]

I think I'd try to bring it up with them that you think its weird and/or makes you uncomfortable. It's a huge pet peeve of mine when people blatantly ignore my boundaries or rules. I've been more forgiving, keeping in mind that they might be doing multiple roleplays and may have forgotten my explicitly stated preferences. I'll often reiterate what I originally wanted or had been expecting just to be sure that we're on the same page.

When they continue to ignore this or keep throwing me huge curve balls, that's when I ghost. It feels sort of disrespectful after a certain point and I just don't have the energy to put up with that sort of thing.

 

[Onmyoji]

I would discuss that and explain what makes me uncomfortable and see if there can be any compromise. like, if they don't like some of my character's features maybe I could change something. Or if they're looking for cyber I'd tell them this is reportable on RPN and ask to reconsider.

If there can be no compromise or the person goes into ignore mode, I'd apologise and say I'm no longer interested in the rp with them.

 

[rae2nerdy]

As has been mentioned I would just talk to them about it. If they're asking for something that makes you uncomfortable just let them know. If they continue to ask after you've made it clear that you won't do X thing than just leave the conversation.

 

[Idea]

Well, there's two sides to this. Ok, probably more than that, but two essential sides that I see in this question. One is your side, where an unexpected element you're uncomfortable with just popped up. Another pertains to one's freedoom and their awareness of your preferences.

The first side I hardly need to explain. You're happily working with someone to both enjoy a roleplay and suddenly they introduce an element that you just can't handle. I myself have such a pet peeve, regarding demons (though it is more uncontrollable annoyance than being disturbed), so I know it's not something one can help having, and that it isn't as simple as just ignoring it.

On the other hand though, if I go in for a roleplay where I've been told I can do something or at least not denied that much, and then without it even being unreasonable to have that character being told I can't cause some people may feel uncomfortable... that's quite upsetting. It feels like a betrayal really. Here I am putting my hard work in to make this a great character and a great roleplay, and somebody suddenly changes the goalposts because they don't like my tastes... I know this because it has happened to me. I have exotic tastes when it comes to some things, namely my favorite character type is a child character, and more than once I have been out of nowhere turned out while nearing the end of the character creation process simply due to the character's age or appearance, neither of which were previously stated as problematic.


So, in the end of the day, this is what I have to say: If you don't think you can handle their idea and taking it in your stride, then calmly explain that you have a personal problem with it, and will not be able to continue the roleplay with that idea around. Then, whenever you ask for a new roleplay, please keep in mind that you should warn people of what your limits are. Nobody has any responsability to read your mind, the only way they will know that they can't do something is if RPN itself or you tell them.

I hope this helps. Good luck and happy RPing!

PS: Don't assume things are sexual unless there is explicit sexual language involved.