Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[A Sparkling Zombie]

Nearly a decade ago, a partner once asked me to rewrite a post because they felt like I didn't give them enough of a hook. I appreciated them for it. Of all my time roleplaying, I've experienced it only one other time, but that person came across as nitpicking, or at least made it clear we weren't compatible, so I dropped the story after, like, their fourth critique within the span of only a few IC posts.

In my request threads, I usually try to make it clear I'm open to making adjustments based on a partner's needs, and then also during discussions, and also after the initial post or two. I usually stop there, simply because I haven't thought of additional approaches until now. There can be fine lines between complaining, compromise, and controlling, but it would be nice to see more healthy communication.

 

[sevyn]

i hate when people cross cast asian faceclaims, but i’m also conflicted… like, on the one hand, i feel like it’s very gross and ignorant, but then on the flip side, i can see why people would think “well, my character isn’t their face claim, it’s just a reference for how they look, so my character doesn’t really have to reflect the attributes of their face claim.”

but still… a bigger part of me is like… ew?

but also, a lot of asian actors don’t mind cross casting, as in being cast in an asian role that doesn’t align with their ethnicity, so even though i Do mind, i can’t speak for all asian people… because my experiences don’t reflect theirs of course.

but it’s also like! why would you use a korean idol for a japanese character! there are plenty of stunning japanese actors and idols that you could have used instead.

especially if you aren’t even asian yourself, i think you should be especially wary of doing things like this? because, especially when non asian people do it, i’m definitely going to think it’s just because you think asian cultures are interchangeable. have you ever been on the krp tag on instagram? shit’s ridiculous. bitches have ocs that are like “japanese-russian”, whole time the model is jeongguk from bts… ikyfl… instagram krp is actually hell.

 

[Murdergurl]

I know I've gone on before about how Discord sucks as an RP venue. But, by the literary Gods, the communities on there just keep reinforcing that notion! In my attempts to find groups of like-minded PRers to my niche fandoms, I regularly try out new servers on Discord. But it's always the same thing. I get in, go through the dumbass questionnaire and rules acknowledgement, and do the obligatory self-role thing everyone fixates on so much. yadda-yadda.

Then I get around to posting up my RP advert just to wait around and have it ignored. I mean, I KNOW I'm not in the wrong place. Clearly, we are all interested in (fandom) as this is a (fandom) server. So, what the actual fuck is going on here? I could write it off if it just happened every now and again. but this is pretty much uniform across nearly all the servers I try out. Literacy and Discord are like water and oil. Everyone seems to only be on there for some super light and casual styled roleplay.

No one is down for some actual effort. I get comments about how my "Looking for RP" post is too much to read. The advertisement, the goddamn ad, is too much for these people to bother themselves to read through. You gotta be kidding me. It's like two paragraphs of pertinent information like character dynamic and setting, and time zones and such! I mean, it's pretty basic.
But apparently, anything longer than "Heyo! I'm open for RP. HMU" is just too much for these drooling plebs! Ugh!
#rantover

 

[Inno]

I know I've gone on before about how Discord sucks as an RP venue. But, by the literary Gods, the communities on there just keep reinforcing that notion! In my attempts to find groups of like-minded PRers to my niche fandoms, I regularly try out new servers on Discord. But it's always the same thing. I get in, go through the dumbass questionnaire and rules acknowledgement, and do the obligatory self-role thing everyone fixates on so much. yadda-yadda.

Then I get around to posting up my RP advert just to wait around and have it ignored. I mean, I KNOW I'm not in the wrong place. Clearly, we are all interested in (fandom) as this is a (fandom) server. So, what the actual fuck is going on here? I could write it off if it just happened every now and again. but this is pretty much uniform across nearly all the servers I try out. Literacy and Discord are like water and oil. Everyone seems to only be on there for some super light and casual styled roleplay.

No one is down for some actual effort. I get comments about how my "Looking for RP" post is too much to read. The advertisement, the goddamn ad, is too much for these people to bother themselves to read through. You gotta be kidding me. It's like two paragraphs of pertinent information like character dynamic and setting, and time zones and such! I mean, it's pretty basic.
But apparently, anything longer than "Heyo! I'm open for RP. HMU" is just too much for these drooling plebs! Ugh!
#rantover

This is why I avoid roleplay on discord.

 

[Murdergurl]

This is why I avoid roleplay on discord.

yeah... I totally get why. It's just that I honestly just CANNOT find groups of people that are into the same fandoms as I am unless I go over there (or even the generic versions of said fandoms). Tbh, even when I DO go to Discord, it's a needle in a haystack scenario most of the time. But if I sit around forums like RPN (and others) just waiting for someone to post up with a Group RP I'm actually interested in... well, I could be here all year (if not longer) with no such luck.

 

[Inno]

yeah... I totally get why. It's just that I honestly just CANNOT find groups of people that are into the same fandoms as I am unless I go over there (or even the generic versions of said fandoms). Tbh, even when I DO go to Discord, it's a needle in a haystack scenario most of the time. But if I sit around forums like RPN (and others) just waiting for someone to post up with a Group RP I'm actually interested in... well, I could be here all year (if not longer) with no such luck.

Probably a longshot here given the issues going on over there. Do you have your own server or thought about making one on discord I mean? There could be others in a similar situation like you, looking for someone with more effort, maybe. Also, you might want to or probably already have, make a group roleplay yourself. You can wait yeah, but just go out on your own too if you already haven't.

 

[sevyn]

discord genuinely sucks, but it might also be because of the character limit on there. like, maybe people think it's more trouble than it's worth to divide responses up into like 3 or 4 messages. that was the same problem with instagram rp - the character limit was so small that most people would write shorter responses instead of splitting the response.

 

[Murdergurl]

discord genuinely sucks, but it might also be because of the character limit on there. like, maybe people think it's more trouble than it's worth to divide responses up into like 3 or 4 messages. that was the same problem with instagram rp - the character limit was so small that most people would write shorter responses instead of splitting the response.

Honestly, yeah. That is definitely a big turn off for me. The character limit irks me to no end. BUT, I'd still be willing to deal with it if I could actually find a decent RP group on there

 

[Murdergurl]

Probably a longshot here given the issues going on over there. Do you have your own server or thought about making one on discord I mean? There could be others in a similar situation like you, looking for someone with more effort, maybe. Also, you might want to or probably already have, make a group roleplay yourself. You can wait yeah, but just go out on your own too if you already haven't.

I had started to make my own servers at some point, in a variety of ideas. But I've never made them public or invited anyone to them. The thing is, I have no desire to run a Discord server. I have neither the time or motivation. I don't even GM anymore because I simply dont have that kind of availability. So I most definitely do not have the time to run a whole server. I just wanna run around in my little corner of someone else's bigger picture.

 

[sevyn]

people who can’t tell the difference between a self insert and an original character who has certain things in common with their admin.

 

[Melpomene]

people who can’t tell the difference between a self insert and an original character who has certain things in common with their admin.

I am black and like to make black characters because of that. I have had several people accuse me of self-inserting because of that for some reason.

I hope they are accusing white people who make white characters of the same thing

I would be more understanding if it was like an actual personality trait or general like/hobby, but even then it is usually just coincidental. I make so many characters how could I not have accidentally given one a similar personality trait or hobby to me? I only ever assume someone made a self-insert if they are just a little too defensive over them.

 

[sevyn]

I am black and like to make black characters because of that. I have had several people accuse me of self-inserting because of that for some reason.

I hope they are accusing white people who make white characters of the same thing

I would be more understanding if it was like an actual personality trait or general like/hobby, but even then it is usually just coincidental. I make so many characters how could I not have accidentally given one a similar personality trait or hobby to me? I only ever assume someone made a self-insert if they are just a little too defensive over them.

BROOOO!!! when i used to participate in group rps, somebody once got annoyed at my “lack of diversity” bc all of my ocs at that time were asian or black, since i’m… y’know… asian and black 😐 but they also claimed it was historically inaccurate, so you know where their mind was. someone else said i’m forcing lgbtq into everything bc most of my characters are some flavor of gay 😭😭 idk what the straight white experience is like!!! leave me alone!!!

as for the last part, even then i feel like it’s usually fine. like, for me… when i was younger, a lot of my ocs had struggles similar to mine as a way to cope. i would consider those self inserts, because they had so much in common with me since that was how i vented my frustrations.

now when i represent certain struggles via my characters, it’s just that: representation! on top of that, i feel like it adds a sense of realism AND i don’t have to worry about ill portrayal since it’s something that obviously i’ve experienced.

like, for example, i had a character named sevyn, which was before i decided to start going by seven online, but i still use that character sometimes. aside from being named sevyn and having anger issues, this character and i have little to Nothing in common, i wouldn’t even call him an idealised version of myself, as many self inserts are, but when you hear the name “sevyn” then you might be lead to assume that it’ll be self-inserty, yk?

all this to say, it’s normal to have pieces of yourself in your characters, but that doesn’t always make them a self insert.

 

[nerdy tangents]

It’s also like super obvious when someone is making an actual self insert because

1. They will literally say “this is a self insert”
2. They will assume your character is also a self insert.

So unless that happens I just assume the other person is “writing what they know” which is what these assholes want anyway.

Cuz you know the same people whining about the smallest scrap of diversity are the exact same people who are like “I only make straight white female characters because that’s my real life experience.”

Like awesome I’m not a straight white man so I guess I can’t write with you, good luck finding a partner.

 

[Lunar Bunny]

I'm honestly surprised by how common this issue seems to be. I've played so many different races from Turkish to Dominican to French to Japanese and I can't say that I've ever experienced blow back for being diverse. I'm so sorry to all of you who had to deal with people like that, especially if the setting allows for it.

 

[navia]

BROOOO!!! when i used to participate in group rps, somebody once got annoyed at my “lack of diversity” bc all of my ocs at that time were asian or black, since i’m… y’know… asian and black 😐 but they also claimed it was historically inaccurate, so you know where their mind was. someone else said i’m forcing lgbtq into everything bc most of my characters are some flavor of gay 😭😭 idk what the straight white experience is like!!! leave me alone!!!

as for the last part, even then i feel like it’s usually fine. like, for me… when i was younger, a lot of my ocs had struggles similar to mine as a way to cope. i would consider those self inserts, because they had so much in common with me since that was how i vented my frustrations.

now when i represent certain struggles via my characters, it’s just that: representation! on top of that, i feel like it adds a sense of realism AND i don’t have to worry about ill portrayal since it’s something that obviously i’ve experienced.

like, for example, i had a character named sevyn, which was before i decided to start going by seven online, but i still use that character sometimes. aside from being named sevyn and having anger issues, this character and i have little to Nothing in common, i wouldn’t even call him an idealised version of myself, as many self inserts are, but when you hear the name “sevyn” then you might be lead to assume that it’ll be self-inserty, yk?

all this to say, it’s normal to have pieces of yourself in your characters, but that doesn’t always make them a self insert.

yep, this is the reason why i don't make turkish ocs anymore despite me being a turk and wanting to represent them more because people literally forget we exist. i'm tired of people bitching to me about making my ocs all the same ethnic group: turkics.

 

[sevyn]

yep, this is the reason why i don't make turkish ocs anymore despite me being a turk and wanting to represent them more because people literally forget we exist. i'm tired of people bitching to me about making my ocs all the same ethnic group: turkics.

fuck them! some bitches, that’s what they are! make your turkish ocs, turkish delight!

 

[navia]

fuck them! some bitches, that’s what they are! make your turkish ocs, turkish delight!

ur so sweet aaagghhh

 

[sevyn]

I'm honestly surprised by how common this issue seems to be. I've played so many different races from Turkish to Dominican to French to Japanese and I can't say that I've ever experienced blow back for being diverse. I'm so sorry to all of you who had to deal with people like that, especially if the setting allows for it.

i feel like i don’t see it a lot anymore, but these were usually the complaints i got: “i don’t think (so and so) fits the setting” or, typically about my asian fcs, “she just looks too delicate / young to be (such and such)” — the latter was usually for action based fandoms even though most of my fcs were in their late 20s to early 30s & also usually had action resources

 

[sevyn]

ur so sweet aaagghhh

pls not even being sweet, it’s literally just being…. Not xenophobic. no way should you let those cornballs drive you away from writing what you feel comfortable writing, or representing your culture. if they wanna complain about your character’s ethnicity of all things, they can go kick rocks! first and foremost, rp should be about what makes you happy. it’s gross that people still think it’s okay to say what ethnicities are and aren’t acceptable to portray, do they not see the issue with that? ew.

 

[Murdergurl]

Can't say I've ever dealt with racial diversity issues in an RP. But then again, I don't participate in PRs that are grounded in the real world. So very often people are fantasy races or aliens or something like that. Whole other can of worms, tbh.

 

[navia]

pls not even being sweet, it’s literally just being…. Not xenophobic. no way should you let those cornballs drive you away from writing what you feel comfortable writing, or representing your culture. if they wanna complain about your character’s ethnicity of all things, they can go kick rocks! first and foremost, rp should be about what makes you happy. it’s gross that people still think it’s okay to say what ethnicities are and aren’t acceptable to portray, do they not see the issue with that? ew.

oh yeah, i totally agree with you. i'm pretty sure it's because a lot of people don't consider us,,,, anything? i mean ofc we have people who are aware of geography and such, but ethnic groups like the bosniaks and many groups in africa are practically unknown to most and that's what makes them so easy for racists to shit on; bc they think no one else would ever know or care.

i don't understand their train of thought at all lmao. i just don't know how a character's ethnicity would effect a roleplayer in any way, shape, or form. i can't believe shit like this is STILL happening in 2022.

 

[sevyn]

oh yeah, i totally agree with you. i'm pretty sure it's because a lot of people don't consider us,,,, anything? i mean ofc we have people who are aware of geography and such, but ethnic groups like the bosniaks and many groups in africa are practically unknown to most and that's what makes them so easy for racists to shit on; bc they think no one else would ever know or care.

i don't understand their train of thought at all lmao. i just don't know how a character's ethnicity would effect a roleplayer. in any way, shape, or form. i cant believe shit like this is STILL happening in 2022.

like do they not have bigger problems? is someone’s turkish oc going to Kill you? literally what does it have to do with anything? it’s those same people who are like “well i just feel like them being poc / queer / neurodivergent doesn’t really add anything to the plot” as if such people only exist to further an agenda? get a life! if that was the case, what is another same-face white woman doing for the plot? NOTHING!

 

[navia]

like do they not have bigger problems? is someone’s turkish oc going to Kill you? literally what does it have to do with anything? it’s those same people who are like “well i just feel like them being poc / queer / neurodivergent doesn’t really add anything to the plot” as if such people only exist to further an agenda? get a life! if that was the case, what is another same-face white woman doing for the plot? NOTHING!

genuinely don't understand that mindset AT ALL because those ppl think that having a queer/disabled/neurodivergent/poc character is going to change something or mess the plot up, as if they aren't just like all the other characters??? it's the way they think anyone who isn't white, cishet & able-bodied is an alien from another planet and not a regular ordinary mf human just like them.

 

[nerdy tangents]

navia exactly it's so upsetting tbh people act like they get special exemptions from having to try. I see this a lot in romance roleplays where people are like "I only write straight romance because that's what I know" meanwhile I have already told them I'm not straight but apparently that doesn't give me a magical exemption from writing straight romance.

It's like oh no non-straight people have to be able to write straight pairings but god forbid someone ask a straight person to write a non-straight character. And it really does feel like this kind of egotistical way of saying "well obviously straight people are normal so everyone can write them but non straight people aren't normal so you have to be non-straight IRL to write those kind of characters."

* and you can switch straight / non straight for any kind of diverse character. Whether it's white / non white ; able-bodied / neurodivergent ; etc. It's always the same the people who don't fit the so called "default" have to be able to expand their imaginations to imagine themselves as something they aren't. But the straight white able-bodied people don't have to try to do the same. *

** edited **

 

[Daisie]

Can't say I've ever dealt with racial diversity issues in an RP. But then again, I don't participate in PRs that are grounded in the real world. So very often people are fantasy races or aliens or something like that. Whole other can of worms, tbh.

Once more, I reiterate
You all may quiver in fear of my completely extraterrestrial and demonic cast