Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[sevyn]

i wouldn’t say it makes me angry, but i wish it was commonplace to give constructive criticism to your partners. i feel like i’ve said things along these lines before— or it has at least been implied in how heavily i emphasise open communication and my distaste for overly sensitive and attached writers.

anyway, does that even make sense? i was writing with someone before, and while it was fine for the most part, there were certain flaws in their character design and grammatical structure that weighed more heavily on my mind with each response. i tried offering very gentle suggestions on how to improve these things so that they didn’t affect the experience too much, while also not trying to push this person into changing their character more than they were comfortable with.

they weren’t comfortable with any changes whatsoever.

i’m not perfect, never claimed to be, i’m not saying my opinion is oh so valuable, but the things were just… objectively bad. overly long sentences broke the flow, periods where there should have been commas, unnecessary comments on how beautiful their character was, as if it had anything to do with the often serious scenes that were happening.

this isn’t a complaint about one bad experience that i had, but a representation of many bad experiences regarding constructive criticism. i’m not expecting you to write a best selling novel, i’m not holding my partners to any impossible standards, but… on one end, there’s “i don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of my character, i’ll write them how i want with no second thought”, and on the other, “any sort of suggestion will make me crumble and i’ll practically scrap entire characters because someone didn’t like this One thing.”

one is too narrow minded, the other is too fragile. how hard is it to find a balance between the two? some of my favourite ocs wouldn’t be as well-rounded as they are if not for the opinions and criticism from certain people, whose opinions i value! and even some short-lived partners had very insightful things to offer that forever improved said characters. this is all a very long winded way of saying i wish people were more open ): i doubt this is just my experience, but i don’t know. maybe i come off as controlling in these situations.

 

[Syntra]

i wouldn’t say it makes me angry, but i wish it was commonplace to give constructive criticism to your partners. i feel like i’ve said things along these lines before— or it has at least been implied in how heavily i emphasise open communication and my distaste for overly sensitive and attached writers.

anyway, does that even make sense? i was writing with someone before, and while it was fine for the most part, there were certain flaws in their character design and grammatical structure that weighed more heavily on my mind with each response. i tried offering very gentle suggestions on how to improve these things so that they didn’t affect the experience too much, while also not trying to push this person into changing their character more than they were comfortable with.

they weren’t comfortable with any changes whatsoever.

i’m not perfect, never claimed to be, i’m not saying my opinion is oh so valuable, but the things were just… objectively bad. overly long sentences broke the flow, periods where there should have been commas, unnecessary comments on how beautiful their character was, as if it had anything to do with the often serious scenes that were happening.

this isn’t a complaint about one bad experience that i had, but a representation of many bad experiences regarding constructive criticism. i’m not expecting you to write a best selling novel, i’m not holding my partners to any impossible standards, but… on one end, there’s “i don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of my character, i’ll write them how i want with no second thought”, and on the other, “any sort of suggestion will make me crumble and i’ll practically scrap entire characters because someone didn’t like this One thing.”

one is too narrow minded, the other is too fragile. how hard is it to find a balance between the two? some of my favourite ocs wouldn’t be as well-rounded as they are if not for the opinions and criticism from certain people, whose opinions i value! and even some short-lived partners had very insightful things to offer that forever improved said characters. this is all a very long winded way of saying i wish people were more open ): i doubt this is just my experience, but i don’t know. maybe i come off as controlling in these situations.

Ehh, this is debatable. At the end of the day, roleplaying is a hobby and not everyone WANTS to hear that sort of criticism. You don't know people's specific hang-ups, what their relationship to writing is, etc. etc., and hearing comments like that - no matter how well-meaning - can seriously sour the hobby for them. I think that you're better off just dropping partners whose prose you don't like, tbh. You're obviously not compatible. Alternatively, ask first if they're okay with feedback! I know I'd be put off if a partner started criticizing my writing skills all of a sudden, and I'm not thin-skinned.

 

[Onmyoji]

At the end of the day, roleplaying is a hobby and not everyone WANTS to hear that sort of criticism. You don't know people's specific hang-ups, what their relationship to writing is, etc. etc., and hearing comments like that - no matter how well-meaning - can seriously sour the hobby for them. I think that you're better off just dropping partners whose prose you don't like, tbh. You're obviously not compatible.

This ^^^^^^^^^^^

Sometimes it happens. The rp partner is great but your styles don't match. Maybe best to just stop the rp and stay friends if you're having fun OOC.

 

[sevyn]

Ehh, this is debatable. At the end of the day, roleplaying is a hobby and not everyone WANTS to hear that sort of criticism. You don't know people's specific hang-ups, what their relationship to writing is, etc. etc., and hearing comments like that - no matter how well-meaning - can seriously sour the hobby for them. I think that you're better off just dropping partners whose prose you don't like, tbh. You're obviously not compatible. Alternatively, ask first if they're okay with feedback! I know I'd be put off if a partner started criticizing my writing skills all of a sudden, and I'm not thin-skinned.

i feel like if you’re posting your writing to a public forum then you should be open to constructive criticism. i think this applies even more if you’re expecting someone to be actively invested in your story — roleplay is a collaborative experience, no? so if you’re never willing to compromise on the story at hand, then…

characters are probably the most important part to any story, at least for me. and like i said, i don’t wish to come off as nitpicky or controlling, so i’ll usually only speak up if i think the flaw in question will be detrimental in the long run, or quickly stagnate. i don’t expect characters or plots to be tailored to my tastes alone, so it’s not like i’m just tearing someone’s character apart.

besides, i’m already at the point where i’ll just cancel things if i can’t see any enjoyment in it. i’m saying that it’s a real shame that potentially great collaborations have to be cancelled due to an unwillingness to, you know, collaborate. like i said, i feel like people shouldn’t be so overly sensitive— and they’re often the ones complaining that no one wants to write with them, or that their plots fail in the early stages… yeesh. guess that’s a matter of taste though.

 

[Syntra]

i feel like if you’re posting your writing to a public forum then you should be open to constructive criticism. i think this applies even more if you’re expecting someone to be actively invested in your story — roleplay is a collaborative experience, no? so if you’re never willing to compromise on the story at hand, then…

characters are probably the most important part to any story, at least for me. and like i said, i don’t wish to come off as nitpicky or controlling, so i’ll usually only speak up if i think the flaw in question will be detrimental in the long run, or quickly stagnate. i don’t expect characters or plots to be tailored to my tastes alone, so it’s not like i’m just tearing someone’s character apart.

besides, i’m already at the point where i’ll just cancel things if i can’t see any enjoyment in it. i’m saying that it’s a real shame that potentially great collaborations have to be cancelled due to an unwillingness to, you know, collaborate. like i said, i feel like people shouldn’t be so overly sensitive— and they’re often the ones complaining that no one wants to write with them, or that their plots fail in the early stages… yeesh.

You can feel that way if you want to, but others are welcome to feel however they like about this issue as well. Why should your opinion be more valid? Again, this is a hobby. Nobody is obligated to be open to any kind of criticism over a hobby that they don't want to hear/accept. Roleplay is collaborative, yes, but I feel like there's a fine line between contributing ideas and criticizing your partner as a writer.

I don't know you, so I obviously cannot say if what you are doing is excessive or not. Sometimes, such discussions can be beneficial BUT if you constantly run into people being "too sensitive" then I think you might wanna examine your own approach a bit.

 

[sevyn]

You can feel that way if you want to, but others are welcome to feel however they like about this issue as well. Why should your opinion be more valid? Again, this is a hobby. Nobody is obligated to be open to any kind of criticism over a hobby that they don't want to hear/accept. Roleplay is collaborative, yes, but I feel like there's a fine line between contributing ideas and criticizing your partner as a writer.

I don't know you, so I obviously cannot say if what you are doing is excessive or not. Sometimes, such discussions can be beneficial BUT if you constantly run into people being "too sensitive" then I think you might wanna examine your own approach a bit.

i didn’t say my opinion was more valid. i didn’t even imply that. i’m literally just further expressing what i’ve already said. i specifically said constructive criticism, which is typically in the form of suggestions, so… ? do you not know what constructive criticism is, as opposed to typical criticism? i very clearly said that i don’t force anyone to change anything if they don’t want to, that i’ll only bring up problems if it seem like it’ll be problematic for one reason or another, and i will kindly end things if i don’t see it lasting, so what’s the problem here? we’ve both stated that it’s probably best to leave if the compatibility isn’t there, are we not in agreement?

yes, it’s a hobby. again, i don’t force or pressure anyone into what they don’t want to change or do, but guess what? in a hobby like this, communication is verrryyy important. you know what constructive criticism is? an important part of communication in creative hobbies, if you’re trying to make something longterm at least. i understand that not everyone wants to accept suggestions, and AGAIN, things can very easily and gently be ended if we both don’t see things working out, because that is also a part of communication. literally never said they were obligated to. i know this is repetitive, but since you’re the one making up things that i didn’t say, i feel the need to be.

and i also didn’t say that it was a constant problem, don’t know where you got that from. “many bad experiences” that have accumulated over the past ten years— obviously you wouldn’t know my time frame, but even then, let’s not reach.

if you’re going to present your views in contrast to mine, you’re very welcome to! but at the very least don’t twist my point around or add things that i didn’t say, it’s weird. “others are welcome to feel however they want to” blah blah blah, but you’re coming at me sideways because my view doesn’t align with yours? fix it. or perhaps learn tone tags, because you’re coming off as passive aggressive.

 

[Syntra]

i didn’t say my opinion was more valid. i didn’t even imply that. i’m literally just further expressing what i’ve already said. i specifically said constructive criticism, which is typically in the form of suggestions, so… ? do you not know what constructive criticism is, as opposed to typical criticism? i very clearly said that i don’t force anyone to change anything if they don’t want to, that i’ll only bring up problems if it seem like it’ll be problematic for one reason or another, and i will kindly end things if i don’t see it lasting, so what’s the problem here? we’ve both stated that it’s probably best to leave if the compatibility isn’t there, are we not in agreement?

yes, it’s a hobby. again, i don’t force or pressure anyone into what they don’t want to change or do, but guess what? in a hobby like this, communication is verrryyy important. you know what constructive criticism is? an important part of communication in creative hobbies, if you’re trying to make something longterm at least. i understand that not everyone wants to accept suggestions, and AGAIN, things can very easily and gently be ended if we both don’t see things working out, because that is also a part of communication. literally never said they were obligated to. i know this is repetitive, but since you’re the one making up things that i didn’t say, i feel the need to be.

and i also didn’t say that it was a constant problem, don’t know where you got that from. “many bad experiences” that have accumulated over the past ten years— obviously you wouldn’t know my time frame, but even then, let’s not reach.

if you’re going to present your views in contrast to mine, you’re very welcome to! but at the very least don’t twist my point around or add things that i didn’t say, it’s weird. “others are welcome to feel however they want to” blah blah blah, but you’re coming at me sideways because my view doesn’t align with yours? fix it. or perhaps learn tone tags, because you’re coming off as passive aggressive.

Okay? Rich you're accusing anyone of passive aggressiveness here, lmao. Tone can be hard to read over the internet, but I promise you I'm very direct, there was nothing passive about anything I said (though I do admit to bluntness, that's how I talk). But I'm not actually going to reply to any of this on here because we're not seeing eye-to-eye, I doubt that's gonna change, and I see no point in derailing this thread further. If you want to discuss this, let me know and I can send you a PM!

 

[sevyn]

Okay? Rich you're accusing anyone of passive aggressiveness here, lmao. Tone can be hard to read over the internet, but I promise you I'm very direct, there was nothing passive about anything I said (though I do admit to bluntness, that's how I talk). But I'm not actually going to reply to any of this on here because we're not seeing eye-to-eye, I doubt that's gonna change, and I see no point in derailing this thread further. If you want to discuss this, let me know and I can send you a PM!

i’d hardly consider my message passive aggressive, i very clearly stated my viewpoint and what i felt was wrong with your message— being, your assumption of my experiences and how i value my opinion in comparison to others. no shit i’d find my opinion more important on a personal level, but by no means did i ever say that people need to abide by it. did i say that i wish things were that way? yes. most people would wish that things were closer to their ideals, obviously. do whatever you like.

 

[Murdergurl]

I wouldn’t say it makes me angry, but i wish it was commonplace to give constructive criticism to your partners. i feel like i’ve said things along these lines before— or it has at least been implied in how heavily i emphasise open communication and my distaste for overly sensitive and attached writers.

...Nobody is obligated to be open to any kind of criticism over a hobby that they don't want to hear/accept. Roleplay is collaborative, yes, but I feel like there's a fine line between contributing ideas and criticizing your partner as a writer.

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I just wanted to chide in and say that there is a section on the site specifically FOR writing critique. I'm talking about the Character Showcase & Feedback section. I feel that unless someone asks you to critique their writing, you generally shouldn't unless they are falling short of what you specifically asked for in your RP advert, i.e. multi-para posts, 3 times a week, etc. That being said, I've actually posted in the section we have here asking for constructive criticism, and the posts have gone largely ignored. That whole section generally goes ignored actually. People seem to just use it for character storage instead. Which... I don't understand, because we have a personal workshop for exactly that kind of thing.

 

[Inno]

The 'I read your request thread, wanna RP?' and nothing more messages.
That tells me absolutely nothing and gives me a clear indication my request thread wasn't read or it was skimmed through. I don't know about anyone else but I like to know a bit about other players before we start writing together so that way if our styles and interests don't match, we've cleared that up with no wasted time. I don't like messages where I feel I have to pull information out of the other person when all they had to do is show more interest rather than the lone 'wanna rp?'

I myself like to give people insight into who I am as a writer when I reach out. Not only that read their request thread entirely and if there are plots I like or pairings we can build off of have, I don't know, ideas to go along with them. It takes two people to get a 1x1 going but if only one person is putting in effort it's not going to work.

 

[Murdergurl]

The 'I read your request thread, wanna RP?' and nothing more messages.
That tells me absolutely nothing and gives me a clear indication my request thread wasn't read or it was skimmed through. I don't know about anyone else but I like to know a bit about other players before we start writing together so that way if our styles and interests don't match, we've cleared that up with no wasted time. I don't like messages where I feel I have to pull information out of the other person when all they had to do is show more interest rather than the lone 'wanna rp?'

I myself like to give people insight into who I am as a writer when I reach out. Not only that read their request thread entirely and if there are plots I like or pairings we can build off of have, I don't know, ideas to go along with them. It takes two people to get a 1x1 going but if only one person is putting in effort it's not going to work.

This is exactly why I supply (and ask for) writing samples. Some people don't like that. Some people have even voiced that they think this is "elitist" or "taking RP too seriously". But the fact of the matter is that those obviously won't be the people I look to RP with. lol

 

[Inno]

This is exactly why I supply (and ask for) writing samples. Some people don't like that, some people have even voiced that they think this is "elitist" or "taking RP too seriously". But the fact of the matter is that those obviously won't be the people I look to RP with. lol

Right. It's not elitist at all. It's saving time if people aren't compatible with one another.

 

[Murdergurl]

Right. It's not elitist at all. It's saving time if people aren't compatible with one another.

That's exactly why I do it. It's not to rub it in anyone's face or make people uncomfortable. I'm not demanding that they even write anything new. Any ol' post from an old RP that exemplifies their typical work will do. But I feel it's a smart thing to ask for. Before I did that, I would very often start an RP to find that the other person was really not delivering what I was looking for. So now, it's pretty much a requirement if I can't find their work on my own (like looking up their posts via their profile). And just to make sure, I will usually ask them if they want a writing sample of mine if it isn't already linked to my ad.

 

[arato.]

The 'I read your request thread, wanna RP?' and nothing more messages.
That tells me absolutely nothing and gives me a clear indication my request thread wasn't read or it was skimmed through. I don't know about anyone else but I like to know a bit about other players before we start writing together so that way if our styles and interests don't match, we've cleared that up with no wasted time. I don't like messages where I feel I have to pull information out of the other person when all they had to do is show more interest rather than the lone 'wanna rp?'

I myself like to give people insight into who I am as a writer when I reach out. Not only that read their request thread entirely and if there are plots I like or pairings we can build off of have, I don't know, ideas to go along with them. It takes two people to get a 1x1 going but if only one person is putting in effort it's not going to work.

I straight up ignore people who do this. Or introduce themselves by mentioning their preferences are the exact opposite of what I outlined in my interest check. It's fine if people have preferences, of course, and that's not my issue at all. It's the fact that we have different preferences and, therefore, would probably not be very compatible.

 

[Yizerq]

dms saying "i'm interested" and then i type a few whole long paragraphs abt my ideas and them ghosting me right after that first message. heck i take at least 30 min to read what u wrote and come up with a reply- but anyways, im sure my interest check would've given someone a rough idea of my personality-ish or something? running for the hills after seeing my paragraph when i specifically wrote "i talk a lot/love to worldbuild"? just, don't message in the first place.

or maybe, saying "i love worldbuilding" in their thread and then when i pm and give ideas they just seem to not want to do it/ghost me. do i have the wrong definition of that word?

thank for reading < 3

 

[GojiBean]

i wouldn’t say it makes me angry, but i wish it was commonplace to give constructive criticism to your partners. i feel like i’ve said things along these lines before— or it has at least been implied in how heavily i emphasise open communication and my distaste for overly sensitive and attached writers.

anyway, does that even make sense? i was writing with someone before, and while it was fine for the most part, there were certain flaws in their character design and grammatical structure that weighed more heavily on my mind with each response. i tried offering very gentle suggestions on how to improve these things so that they didn’t affect the experience too much, while also not trying to push this person into changing their character more than they were comfortable with.

they weren’t comfortable with any changes whatsoever.

i’m not perfect, never claimed to be, i’m not saying my opinion is oh so valuable, but the things were just… objectively bad. overly long sentences broke the flow, periods where there should have been commas, unnecessary comments on how beautiful their character was, as if it had anything to do with the often serious scenes that were happening.

this isn’t a complaint about one bad experience that i had, but a representation of many bad experiences regarding constructive criticism. i’m not expecting you to write a best selling novel, i’m not holding my partners to any impossible standards, but… on one end, there’s “i don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of my character, i’ll write them how i want with no second thought”, and on the other, “any sort of suggestion will make me crumble and i’ll practically scrap entire characters because someone didn’t like this One thing.”

one is too narrow minded, the other is too fragile. how hard is it to find a balance between the two? some of my favourite ocs wouldn’t be as well-rounded as they are if not for the opinions and criticism from certain people, whose opinions i value! and even some short-lived partners had very insightful things to offer that forever improved said characters. this is all a very long winded way of saying i wish people were more open ): i doubt this is just my experience, but i don’t know. maybe i come off as controlling in these situations.

Hoyo!

I believe the main reason some people aren't open to criticism is because they're not role-playing with the intent to improve anything. They're here for the same reason some people play video games: to escape reality.

When you just want to escape reality and relax, criticism, constructive though it may be, drags you back to the real world. Because what constructive criticism is, really, is a nice way of saying "you're not good enough, so here's how you can do better." And people get enough of this in school, work, and life in general as it is.
Sometimes they just want to turn their brains off and get immersed in a role-play so they can have fun and relax.

Anywho, if you want constructive criticism, or want to give it, you can always ask. A quick "Hey, would you mind if I gave some feedback on what you just wrote?" can't hurt anything. If they don't mind the criticism, they'll say "sure, lemme hear what you think." If they don't want the feedback, they'll say "nah, let's just RP."

Regardless, it's best to accept their answer and let them be. If they want to improve, they'll be open to it. If not, it's fine.

Your role-play experience should not be negatively impacted by someone else's lack of perceived skill at various aspects. What really matters is whether or not the player's abilities, limited however they may be in your eyes, are enough to at least maintain your interest in the RP's story and the arc you're putting your character through. If you feel that you're being negatively impacted by a role-play partner, then it's best to leave the RP and find a better experience.

Cheers!

 

[sevyn]

Hoyo!

I believe the main reason some people aren't open to criticism is because they're not role-playing with the intent to improve anything. They're here for the same reason some people play video games: to escape reality.

When you just want to escape reality and relax, criticism, constructive though it may be, drags you back to the real world. Because what constructive criticism is, really, is a nice way of saying "you're not good enough, so here's how you can do better." And people get enough of this in school, work, and life in general as it is.
Sometimes they just want to turn their brains off and get immersed in a role-play so they can have fun and relax.

Anywho, if you want constructive criticism, or want to give it, you can always ask. A quick "Hey, would you mind if I gave some feedback on what you just wrote?" can't hurt anything. If they don't mind the criticism, they'll say "sure, lemme hear what you think." If they don't want the feedback, they'll say "nah, let's just RP."

Regardless, it's best to accept their answer and let them be. If they want to improve, they'll be open to it. If not, it's fine.

Your role-play experience should not be negatively impacted by someone else's lack of perceived skill at various aspects. What really matters is whether or not the player's abilities, limited however they may be in your eyes, are enough to at least maintain your interest in the RP's story and the arc you're putting your character through. If you feel that you're being negatively impacted by a role-play partner, then it's best to leave the RP and find a better experience.

Cheers!

( quick note: i will be using “you” largely as a general term, not specifically referring to gojibean or anyone else )

sure, what does that have to do with me though? i do write to improve, as well as to have fun. they aren’t mutually exclusive. i make it clear in my rules that i also prefer writing with people who also intend to improve— and if not that, then people who are at least open to communication. when someone messages me after supposedly reading my interest check, then it is my assumption that they are okay with this sort of thing. i assume this because i state very clearly how much i appreciate communication and constructive criticism, which goes both ways for me, and how i prefer to write with people who both accept and give open communication, including if they have an issue with characters or plot points of mine, at which point i am willing to take their ideas into consideration if it makes them more comfortable, or makes the roleplay more long lasting.

constructive criticism doesn’t mean “i hate this thing about your character, your writing sucks, change it or we’re not roleplaying” … that seems to be what people are getting from this. constructive criticism means “i feel that this trait of your character may inhibit the progression of the roleplay in the long run, perhaps you could try this or this instead, or we can discuss some other options.”

here’s a quick example— not based on any one experience, just something that comes to mind: let’s say i had a detective themed roleplay. someone had a character who was like… super intuitive, world’s best detective material, didn’t work with others, super genius over here. it’d make that character hard to interact with because it’s specifically written into their character that they don’t work with others, they have no need or want for it! so, should i have my character chase after theirs, being desperate to work with them even though that goes against character a’s traits? mm… depends on the nature of character b, but generally no. instead, shouldn’t i bring this up as admins? communicating like adults, no? one could say something like this:

“hey, i think the isolated tendencies of your character could make it hard for this roleplay to work long term! i think it can be beneficial to even out their skillset, do you want to discuss some potential inhibitions to your character that would make it easier for them to interact with another character?” just as a general example of how i might go about providing this kind of constructive criticism, or suggestions.

is that so complicated? if not, this roleplay would flop very quickly because there’s very few ways to realistically insert a character.

yes, not everyone cares about realism… a lot of people are just “so quirky and random xD” when it comes to roleplay, doing things willy nilly with no real aim or reason. they can do whatever they want, but i’m not like that— which, again, i feel that i make pretty clear, so when people approach me then i inherently expect them to understand this. not that i expect them to obey my every word, only to make considerations and be willing to collaborate, which is literally the whole point of roleplay regardless of what you do it for. if you do it just for fun or to improve, whether you plan out the whole thing together or just go with the flow, isn’t the whole point supposed to be collaboration? working as a team to tell a story?

i like consistent characters. i like having reasons for things. of course, that’s not always going to be grounded in real life logic, but do you get what i mean?

of course, the other option is to just drop it entirely, but why do that right off the bat? it’s ridiculous to me that people will drop roleplays at the first sign of disagreement, and then complain that they always get ghosted or that none of their roleplays work out. that’s a lack of communication, it’s literally in your face. more often than not, my method works out well for me, so i really don’t have much to be concerned about.

“if you don’t like what someone is doing, drop the roleplay” or “if you don’t like what someone is doing, just deal with it because it’s not your character anyway”

how about “if you don’t like what someone is doing, try discussing it with them, and if it doesn’t work after that, then you can either end it or work with it in another way” ?

like i said, my method works fine with me so i’ll continue the way i am. i’m not harming anyone in the process: i don’t know how many times i have to say this, but i don’t pressure anyone into anything. i don’t see how it’s not clicking.

 

[nerdy tangents]

This one is kinda minor but like when people confuse “doubling” with “playing multiple characters.”

Cuz my friend it’s in the word. Double means two not more then two.

It isn’t the biggest peeve in the world but it does make my teeth grind just a tiny bit.

 

[Inno]

( quick note: i will be using “you” largely as a general term, not specifically referring to gojibean or anyone else )

sure, what does that have to do with me though? i do write to improve, as well as to have fun. they aren’t mutually exclusive. i make it clear in my rules that i also prefer writing with people who also intend to improve— and if not that, then people who are at least open to communication. when someone messages me after supposedly reading my interest check, then it is my assumption that they are okay with this sort of thing. i assume this because i state very clearly how much i appreciate communication and constructive criticism, which goes both ways for me, and how i prefer to write with people who both accept and give open communication, including if they have an issue with characters or plot points of mine, at which point i am willing to take their ideas into consideration if it makes them more comfortable, or makes the roleplay more long lasting.

constructive criticism doesn’t mean “i hate this thing about your character, your writing sucks, change it or we’re not roleplaying” … that seems to be what people are getting from this. constructive criticism means “i feel that this trait of your character may inhibit the progression of the roleplay in the long run, perhaps you could try this or this instead, or we can discuss some other options.”

here’s a quick example— not based on any one experience, just something that comes to mind: let’s say i had a detective themed roleplay. someone had a character who was like… super intuitive, world’s best detective material, didn’t work with others, super genius over here. it’d make that character hard to interact with because it’s specifically written into their character that they don’t work with others, they have no need or want for it! so, should i have my character chase after theirs, being desperate to work with them even though that goes against character a’s traits? mm… depends on the nature of character b, but generally no. instead, shouldn’t i bring this up as admins? communicating like adults, no? one could say something like this:

“hey, i think the isolated tendencies of your character could make it hard for this roleplay to work long term! i think it can be beneficial to even out their skillset, do you want to discuss some potential inhibitions to your character that would make it easier for them to interact with another character?” just as a general example of how i might go about providing this kind of constructive criticism, or suggestions.

is that so complicated? if not, this roleplay would flop very quickly because there’s very few ways to realistically insert a character.

yes, not everyone cares about realism… a lot of people are just “so quirky and random xD” when it comes to roleplay, doing things willy nilly with no real aim or reason. they can do whatever they want, but i’m not like that— which, again, i feel that i make pretty clear, so when people approach me then i inherently expect them to understand this. not that i expect them to obey my every word, only to make considerations and be willing to collaborate, which is literally the whole point of roleplay regardless of what you do it for. if you do it just for fun or to improve, whether you plan out the whole thing together or just go with the flow, isn’t the whole point supposed to be collaboration? working as a team to tell a story?

i like consistent characters. i like having reasons for things. of course, that’s not always going to be grounded in real life logic, but do you get what i mean?

of course, the other option is to just drop it entirely, but why do that right off the bat? it’s ridiculous to me that people will drop roleplays at the first sign of disagreement, and then complain that they always get ghosted or that none of their roleplays work out. that’s a lack of communication, it’s literally in your face. more often than not, my method works out well for me, so i really don’t have much to be concerned about.

“if you don’t like what someone is doing, drop the roleplay” or “if you don’t like what someone is doing, just deal with it because it’s not your character anyway”

how about “if you don’t like what someone is doing, try discussing it with them, and if it doesn’t work after that, then you can either end it or work with it in another way” ?

like i said, my method works fine with me so i’ll continue the way i am. i’m not harming anyone in the process: i don’t know how many times i have to say this, but i don’t pressure anyone into anything. i don’t see how it’s not clicking.

 

[Murdergurl]

“hey, i think the isolated tendencies of your character could make it hard for this roleplay to work long term! i think it can be beneficial to even out their skillset, do you want to discuss some potential inhibitions to your character that would make it easier for them to interact with another character?” just as a general example of how i might go about providing this kind of constructive criticism, or suggestions.

Honestly, this is exactly the kind of feedback I wish people would give me on some of my characters.

 

[Inno]

Kind of reminds me of something since we are on the subject. Also feels like I may have said it before.... Oh well.
Doesn't make me angry just a bit frustrated. When some people say they want to improve their writing, want feedback on said writing, the whole nine yards but can't take constructive criticism on anything. Improving your writing isn't just about learning to use better adjectives or writing longer sentences. It's also about learning from constructive criticism and applying where needed and it's about building and creating new worlds for your readers, characters and partner.

 

[sevyn]

Honestly, this is exactly the kind of feedback I wish people would give me on some of my characters.

same! it is literally so beneficial and helpful!! but when people hear the word “constructive criticism” they focus way too much on the “criticism” part, when it’s literally just suggestions for improvement

Kind of reminds me of something since we are on the subject. Also feels like I may have said it before.... Oh well.
Doesn't make me angry just a bit frustrated. When some people say they want to improve their writing, want feedback on said writing, the whole nine yards but can't take constructive criticism on anything. Improving your writing isn't just about learning to use better adjectives or writing longer sentences. It's also about learning from constructive criticism and applying where needed and it's about building and creating new worlds for your readers, characters and partner.

AGREEED!! also, some people say they want to exchange feedback, yet they’re the kind of person who can dish it but can’t take it. they can talk about your character all they like, but once you return some feedback, it’s “nitpicky” and they get all defensive. thankfully, i’ve only encountered a handful of people like this in all my years.

 

[Lunar Bunny]

I'd love to receive feedback on my writing. Unfortunately, it rarely happens and when it does I seem to get the opposite problem where the other person refuses to tell me what I need to improve on. Even when directly asked, I'd get a lot of vague answers. If you're willing to give feedback, not only should you have thick skin to receive it but you also need to be articulate enough (or gutsy enough) to actually talk about your partner's pros and cons.

 

[Melpomene]

Kind of reminds me of something since we are on the subject. Also feels like I may have said it before.... Oh well.
Doesn't make me angry just a bit frustrated. When some people say they want to improve their writing, want feedback on said writing, the whole nine yards but can't take constructive criticism on anything. Improving your writing isn't just about learning to use better adjectives or writing longer sentences. It's also about learning from constructive criticism and applying where needed and it's about building and creating new worlds for your readers, characters and partner.

So in mt free time I offer to beta read people's wip novels and give feedback. The amount of people who hit me with the surprised Pikachu face when I give that feedback is astounding lol.

I like to write to improve. I consider writing an artform and am continuously trying to challenge myself to get better at this art. Often I look for people with the same mindset. I don't give constructive criticism without it being explicitly asked for. I have only met a few people who came to me first for it.

And.

My.

God.

You would think I killed their dog when I told them their characters were a bit unbelievable.

 

[sevyn]

I'd love to receive feedback on my writing. Unfortunately, it rarely happens and when it does I seem to get the opposite problem where the other person refuses to tell me what I need to improve on. Even when directly asked, I'd get a lot of vague answers. If you're willing to give feedback, not only should you have thick skin to receive it but you also need to be articulate enough (or gutsy enough) to actually talk about your partner's pros and cons.

i agree with this as well. the line between constructive and destructive criticism can seem thin at times; there are people who claim to give constructive criticism, but come off as very aggressive and judgmental due to poor wording choices.
but at the same time, it’s important not to be too passive when suggesting improvements. people often employ “the feedback sandwich” when doing this, which is often ineffective since it waters down the actual point so much, but that’s just my opinion— which also doesn’t mean to harp on the negative. anyway, i also think that a lot of people forget that constructive criticism is supposed to be a conversation, unlike destructive criticism. the former is more of a “give and take” experience, or it’s supposed to be, especially in this sort of context.