Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[Wandering Fae]

@R U S T Im starting to think we socialize men wrong. Cuz that kinda stuff happens with straight men too.

I think it’s cuz women are taught to internalize blame. If someone isn’t sexually attracted to us it’s because WE did something wrong.

Men are taught the opposite. If someone isn’t sexually attracted to them it’s THAT PERSON’s fault.

There are the rare outliers, I did have a woman do something similar. But that was literally one example to the half a dozen I have heard of men.

The good news for all of us is that statistically women roleplay WAY more then men. So such situations are by their nature fairly rare. Just cuz not that many men roleplay to start with, and the majority who do are fine.

Strangely, I've dealt with this far more with women, but at the same time it might be because as you said more women roleplay so I was far more likely to run into it with them than men anyway. I still wouldn't say I run into often, often but still my last encounter with a guy who did something like this was...I think about 2 years ago, no 3 it was right before 2020.

 

[Wandering Fae]

oh something that I remembered recently, the weird purity bias people have with relationships.

I used to think it was bi phobia (since it usually came up when I had male characters who had past relationship with men) but I started to notice that the exact same issue comes up with male characters who had past relationships with women.

the past relationships have to be treated like terrible sluts in order to justify the current female love interest being picked.

And it’s just kinda weird that there is this ongoing mentality that The One Pure Woman is the only one who is worthy of being in a relationship with the male love interest.

it would almost make since if the woman was supposed to be wildly insecure (cuz it could be a unreliable narrative thing) but no the woman characters have all kinds of personalities.

it’s more like the writer is insecure and doesn’t want their fictional character to have any fictional competition for the fictional man’s attention.

To be fair this scenario can be realistic if done right I think no it's something called a pool bias to something? Basically the idea is if you keep looking for partners in a specific place I.E. a night club or something you'll keep running into the same type of people because mostly only these those of people hang out in this place so you may keep ending up in relationships with terrible people, but if you broaden your search pools to other areas you usually don't go, you'll find different kinds of people because they don't hang out in the usual spots you go looking in.

 

[nerdy tangents]

To be fair this scenario can be realistic if done right I think no it's something called a pool bias to something? Basically the idea is if you keep looking for partners in a specific place I.E. a night club or something you'll keep running into the same type of people because mostly only these those of people hang out in this place so you may keep ending up in relationships with terrible people, but if you broaden your search pools to other areas you usually don't go, you'll find different kinds of people because they don't hang out in the usual spots you go looking in.

My problem is the fact that there are no previous relationships at all. Or in the rare instance that there is one (1) previous relationship it’s always some toxic dumpster fire of a person who solely exists to be the foil of the good and pure love interest.

Like there are certain types of characters where no previous relationships makes sense.

But here’s the thing : they’re never the male love interest. The male love interest is supposed to be this super desirable man.

So the fact that people pitch a fit if the male love interest had any kind of life or romantic relationships prior to meeting the female lead is just baffling.

cuz it’s not like they want the shy awkward guy to be paired with their female character. No the guy is supposed to be super popular or mysterious or whatever. Basically all the personality traits that means he should absolutely have multiple romantic relationships.

It just always reads to me like the person doesn’t know how to handle competition. Like they don’t know how to make their female lead desirable without also making her literally the only possible pairing for the male love interest.

And that never seems particularly romantic to me.

 

[Wandering Fae]

My problem is the fact that there are no previous relationships at all. Or in the rare instance that there is one (1) previous relationship it’s always some toxic dumpster fire of a person who solely exists to be the foil of the good and pure love interest.

Like there are certain types of characters where no previous relationships makes sense.

But here’s the thing : they’re never the male love interest. The male love interest is supposed to be this super desirable man.

So the fact that people pitch a fit if the male love interest had any kind of life or romantic relationships prior to meeting the female lead is just baffling.

cuz it’s not like they want the shy awkward guy to be paired with their female character. No the guy is supposed to be super popular or mysterious or whatever. Basically all the personality traits that means he should absolutely have multiple romantic relationships.

It just always reads to me like the person doesn’t know how to handle competition. Like they don’t know how to make their female lead desirable without also making her literally the only possible pairing for the male love interest.

And that never seems particularly romantic to me.

I mean I guess I get what you're saying but that also kind of dips off into...would I call it a stereotype? Basically just because he's popular and mysterious doesn't mean he'd have multiple relationships, he might secretly be awkward or genuinely just not be interested in people because none of them have tried to get to know him beyond his popularity. I personally genuinely was not interested in anyone romantically until I was like 22.

That being said I do get what you're saying though.

 

[Comicwolf]

Seeing a rper on but hasnt replied in months to the writing you both are working on
You want to ask them about it but not want to scare them off

 

[nerdy tangents]

I mean I guess I get what you're saying but that also kind of dips off into...would I call it a stereotype? Basically just because he's popular and mysterious doesn't mean he'd have multiple relationships, he might secretly be awkward or genuinely just not be interested in people because none of them have tried to get to know him beyond his popularity. I personally genuinely was not interested in anyone romantically until I was like 22.

That being said I do get what you're saying though.

I think it’s more the assumption that male love interest isn’t allowed to have healthy relationships. If I as a player choose not to give him prior relationships fine.

If I am told he can’t have them just because then it’s bullshit.

And it’s very much that mentality that a character has to be unable to love literally anyone who isn’t the female lead that makes me annoyed.

Like I’m sorry your significant other is not going to sprout out of the ground with no prior relationships and expecting that is kinda unreasonable.

Yea there are aro/ace or just people who don’t care about relationships. But you also can’t have it both ways. If someone isn’t interested in relationships for 21 years they don’t turn on a dime and suddenly fall in love with some random person they just met.

 

[Wandering Fae]

I think it’s more the assumption that male love interest isn’t allowed to have healthy relationships. If I as a player choose not to give him prior relationships fine.

If I am told he can’t have them just because then it’s bullshit.

And it’s very much that mentality that a character has to be unable to love literally anyone who isn’t the female lead that makes me annoyed.

Like I’m sorry your significant other is not going to sprout out of the ground with no prior relationships and expecting that is kinda unreasonable.

Yea there are aro/ace or just people who don’t care about relationships. But you also can’t have it both ways. If someone isn’t interested in relationships for 21 years they don’t turn on a dime and suddenly fall in love with some random person they just met.

Oh no I get that 100% I've never been a fan of painfully slow burns but I'm not a fan of instantly falling in love either. Also yeah no one should be allowed to tell you how to play your character and dictate there backstory.

 

[Melpomene]

oh something that I remembered recently, the weird purity bias people have with relationships.

I used to think it was bi phobia (since it usually came up when I had male characters who had past relationship with men) but I started to notice that the exact same issue comes up with male characters who had past relationships with women.

the past relationships have to be treated like terrible sluts in order to justify the current female love interest being picked.

And it’s just kinda weird that there is this ongoing mentality that The One Pure Woman is the only one who is worthy of being in a relationship with the male love interest.

it would almost make since if the woman was supposed to be wildly insecure (cuz it could be a unreliable narrative thing) but no the woman characters have all kinds of personalities.

it’s more like the writer is insecure and doesn’t want their fictional character to have any fictional competition for the fictional man’s attention.

I have ran into this many times as well.

Like I had a partner legit get upset I gave the male lead a prior loving relationship before her OC? And it was... So odd to me. Like, you're acting like he cheated on your character.... Before he even knew her. Why is he not allowed to have a decent relationship before he meets her?

It's just such an odd hangup to me. Because you're basically jealous of a dead relationship. A dead FICTIONAL relationship. Hell, sometimes my OCs were married and then got an amicable divorce and are still on decent terms with their ex wives because I like to write healthy relationships, but so many people have had a problem with that and I'm just ???

 

[nerdy tangents]

I have ran into this many times as well.

Like I had a partner legit get upset I gave the male lead a prior loving relationship before her OC? And it was... So odd to me. Like, you're acting like he cheated on your character.... Before he even knew her. Why is he not allowed to have a decent relationship before he meets her?

It's just such an odd hangup to me. Because you're basically jealous of a dead relationship. A dead FICTIONAL relationship. Hell, sometimes my OCs were married and then got an amicable divorce and are still on decent terms with their ex wives because I like to write healthy relationships, but so many people have had a problem with that and I'm just ???

I know right?? I don’t get why people seem to prefer writing crappy relationship dynamics. It’s like they think healthy relationships are boring or something.

 

[Inno]

If you are reaching out to someone about their request thread to potentially write with them, it's not a good first impression to be rude.

 

[Melpomene]

If you are reaching out to someone about their request thread to potentially write with them, it's not a good first impression to be rude.

One time someone reached out to my request thread and told me all of my ideas were shit but we could still write together

 

[Inno]

One time someone reached out to my request thread and told me all of my ideas were shit but we could still write together

I'm sorry that happened to you. Boy, some people can just be so rude.

 

[ChasmOfOrganicMatter]

Some dude in an RP I ran straight up copied a weapon from another RPer. At first I thought the weapon's name might be general enough maybe there was a chance they just ran upon a generic name. Then they proceeded to straight up copy said RPer's last post almost entirely in substance beyond worse grammar (I think they still copy pasted a few parts).

They did not even last a post past their character sheet before they left with 0 impact on the rest of the RP so far.

Anyways if you're really that unsure on a new RP, just ask the other players and GM for help rather than you know, straight up ripping off other people and passing that shit off as your own.

 

[weldherwings]

Having the inspiration to write and code, but not finding the time in the day to put aside for it cause of work and health reasons and because of a clingy joey

 

[Onmyoji]

Relatable



Wanting to rp stuff that most people find boring and not interesting. Like fluffy sappy romance XD

 

[saniachan]

When shit hits the fan IRL that makes you forget whatever you wanna write for your RP(s).

Spoiler: Some context

No, really. I'm not going to point a finger at anyone because we all have real life things to attend to. It actually becomes my pet peeve when I'm the one experiencing it.

 

[Chordling]

Too many ideas. Not enough time!

 

[Korillian]

Writing out a lengthy chapter on a document on your potato laptop that suddenly blue screens, and despite having back up saves, you end up losing everything. Took me an hour to write up this scene I had big inspiration for this and it was all erased. My fault for not using something with a cloud-save, but it was a last minute spur of the moment and I didn't want to forget.

 

[Coco Adel]

When your partner assumes you're passive-aggressively trying to rush them by bumping the request thread you made that they answered just because they haven't replied for a while...no I just have more ideas that won't fit into our story specifically, or maybe I need to update the OP and make people aware up the update or maybe I just like the idea that much that I would like to try to have more than one partner for it?

 

[SpazTheButcher]

Okay. Here it is. When folks don't put discord RPs in the Off-side ad sections. Like, WTH? I love your concept, you got fancy shmancy code, and then at the very end you say: "OOC and Plotting is on Discord " or "Rp will take place on discord for convenience and stuff". The worst ones are the ones where they don't say it, you reply as interested, and then they PM you the link. It's not that I have anything against discord, but as a person who doesn't use and due to personal problems, it grinds my gears when people don't use proper threads. I am this close to starting my own secret police organization to crack down on these people.

 

[Coco Adel]

People that like to start an RP with the characters already in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love writing people in relationships, but every single person I have every role played with who wants to start our character off already in as relationship just don't try and it barely feels like their friends let alone two people that are supposed to be in love or even like each other enough romantically to live together. Like why is my character with yours again? I guess my character is just that desperate to be in a clearly one-sided relationship where their partner just smiles and nods but contributes absolutely nothing else, my character is also always the one to initiate physical affection like hugs, kisses, or snuggles so...what are we doing here?

This is why I can't do this, you gotta earn the relationship, show me you want it because this is annoying.

 

[SpazTheButcher]

People that like to start an RP with the characters already in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love writing people in relationships, but every single person I have every role played with who wants to start our character off already in as relationship just don't try and it barely feels like their friends let alone two people that are supposed to be in love or even like each other enough romantically to live together. Like why is my character with yours again? I guess my character is just that desperate to be in a clearly one-sided relationship where their partner just smiles and nods but contributes absolutely nothing else, my character is also always the one to initiate physical affection like hugs, kisses, or snuggles so...what are we doing here?

This is why I can't do this, you gotta earn the relationship, show me you want it because this is annoying.

Maybe that's the point? To show what loveless relationships feel like, and why we should avoid them?

 

[Coco Adel]

Maybe that's the point? To show what loveless relationships feel like, and why we should avoid them?

If that was the point then cool, I'm all for that but say that if that's what you want.

 

[Chordling]

The urge to join/start ten million different roleplays is so strong today.

 

[Onmyoji]

"Rp will take place on discord for convenience and stuff".

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