Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[Merciless Medic]

I mean, I've done it once or twice (or more) myself over the years. So I see that shit coming a mile away. BUT at least I try to do it before the RP starts. that way I dont leave anyone hanging. It super fucking annoying when it's done after everyone is settled in and in the midst of the RP, getting their intros in and interacting their characters and such.... and then BOOM... Mr. "My-grandma-died-for-the-third-time-this-year" comes along and has a crisis that bums them out and has them "take a break from RP for a while".

I'm not saying I don't ghost, or that I haven't tried to weasel out of RPs. But when I do, i try to make it with as little of a footprint as possible. I will say that when I do attempt 1x1's, that I am almost guaranteed to drop them in one fashion or another. And that comes from me wanting something other than 1x1 dynamics. Hence... groups. But that circles back to the problems I already mentioned. Ad infinitum.

Oof yeah. Bonus points if you see them active in other RPs or looking for more or making more interest checks despite having a "crisis".

But yeah, I getcha. :3 I try not to ghost either (I have done this before though), but when I do it's usually because I forget or I keep putting it off, then I forget :'D

 

[Mitheral]

I have never let RL issues interfere my my RPing - even the deaths of my parents. The only thing that does interfere is work. Can't work and write at the same time - at least not legally or safely.

I get annoyed when people sign up for long term RP's a month before they start back up at school. I absolutely agree that RL comes first. I get annoyed when THEY don't understand that before committing to an RP they can't commit to.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Mitheral that’s not healthy. I mean I wouldn’t let my actual lets me pay the bills job come before the death of a family member. But a fun hobby? Not even close.

You are making it sound like a toxic work environment and that’s really not good for your mental health.

You shouldn’t work all the time and it sounds like you are basically just treating roleplay like another job that you do around your pay the bills job.

I would recommend taking up some kind of low stakes hobby or possibly talking to someone about your views on roleplaying.

I would very much not expect your partners to treat roleplaying like a job. Because it’s not healthy for you or for them.

 

[Mitheral]

Mitheral that’s not healthy. I mean I wouldn’t let my actual lets me pay the bills job come before the death of a family member. But a fun hobby? Not even close.

You are making it sound like a toxic work environment and that’s really not good for your mental health.

You shouldn’t work all the time and it sounds like you are basically just treating roleplay like another job that you do around your pay the bills job.

I would recommend taking up some kind of low stakes hobby or possibly talking to someone about your views on roleplaying.

I would very much not expect your partners to treat roleplaying like a job. Because it’s not healthy for you or for them.

Oh you misunderstand. I found out about my parents’ deaths six months after they died. Falling out with an abusive stepfather. I was informed by their attorney about the will after probate.

My mother had been in pain for years. It was a relief in a way when she passed.

I absolutely do not expect people to treat role playing like a job. Just the opposite. Go back and re read. I said folks shouldn’t commit to an RP that they EXPECT their job, school, etc will interfere with. That wastes the time of others. That is inconsiderate.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Oh you misunderstand. I found out about my parents’ deaths six months after they died. Falling out with an abusive stepfather. I was informed by their attorney about the will after probate.

My mother had been in pain for years. It was a relief in a way when she passed.

I absolutely do not expect people to treat role playing like a job. Just the opposite. Go back and re read. I said folks shouldn’t commit to an RP that they EXPECT their job, school, etc will interfere with. That wastes the time of others. That is inconsiderate.

I still think you should examine how you phrased that. Because most people will absolutely want to take off time to process the death of a loved one. And you made it sound like you wouldn’t be okay with a partner telling you “hey my grandma just died I’m gonna need a week.”

And tbf not every real life emergency can be planned for. Because people don’t live in a vacuum where their own wants and needs are the deciding factor for what they do.

My mom has a lot of medical issue and she doesn’t always inform me when she’s gonna need to get a surgery (or sometimes those dates change).

Or sometimes people get food poisoning or loose their job unexpectedly or whatever.

The reason I said your treating roleplay like a job is your expecting your partner to be able to log in at specific times and you are not allowing for the unpredictability of real life.

Yeah ideally if someone had advanced warning they should warn you about things. But they aren’t necessarily going to always have that advanced warning.

 

[Mitheral]

I still think you should examine how you phrased that. Because most people will absolutely want to take off time to process the death of a loved one. And you made it sound like you wouldn’t be okay with a partner telling you “hey my grandma just died I’m gonna need a week.”

And tbf not every real life emergency can be planned for. Because people don’t live in a vacuum where their own wants and needs are the deciding factor for what they do.

My mom has a lot of medical issue and she doesn’t always inform me when she’s gonna need to get a surgery (or sometimes those dates change).

Or sometimes people get food poisoning or loose their job unexpectedly or whatever.

The reason I said your treating roleplay like a job is your expecting your partner to be able to log in at specific times and you are not allowing for the unpredictability of real life.

Yeah ideally if someone had advanced warning they should warn you about things. But they aren’t necessarily going to always have that advanced warning.

Ahh, I see the confusion about posting. I don’t do one liner or chat style RPs. I post 1-2 times a week.

 

[Mitheral]

My grandmother passed away when I was in middle school. I didn’t get to skip a single class. I just kept on going. You might be right about needing to talk to someone. Never had those chances growing up. I dealt with it. When bad things happen I just work harder. Yes, I do realize that is avoiding problems. But at least I am getting something done.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Ahh, I see the confusion about posting. I don’t do one liner or chat style RPs. I post 1-2 times a week.

That doesn’t negate the fact that something might come up in a week that means your partner can’t log in.

Your treating it like a job in the sense that you want them to submit a “suitable” reason for not showing up at their designated time.

But hey maybe their just sick or they have real life shit going on and they don’t want to log in and be like “hey is it okay if I have a life now? I will check back in next week.”

I mean sure if their going on vacation or to school those are decided far enough in advance they can let you know.

But a lot of life changes don’t come with months of warning.

My sister literally applied for a job and has to move out of state all in the span of two weeks.

So sometimes life comes at you fast and you don’t have time or energy to check in on some fun hobby.

 

[Inno]

Yikes.

 

[Yunalescaa]

Tried to join a laid back small group rp that asked for ridiculously short bios but also pretty much laid out the characters history in the role. Apparently I didn’t write my bio right but was given zero direction on how to do so under such strict parameters. Shame. I was really looking forward to that one. Oh well

 

[.MAELSTROM.]

People with chronic illnesses and disabilities that aren't predictable and can cause random absences be reading the current topic of "DON'T JOIN ANYTHING IF YOU CAN'T COMMIT" like



spoiler alert: RP is a hobby, and a hobby first. I have a disability that, if I were to have an episode, it can easily turn into clusters - a medical emergency - requiring hospitalization if I don't let myself rest. The last thing I am interested in is going down my entire inbox to tell everyone "lol I'm on the floor rn but I'll get back to u soon ya?" when my brain is mush for several days. Anyone who can't understand that and immediately jumps to anger in response to someone disappearing/needing a break is....yikes.

 

[Yunalescaa]

Chronically ill gang checking in on this one. I won't join something if someone says "I need your full, undivided attention 24/7". I'm not well enough to give you that. I will state very up front you'll be lucky to hear from me frequently due to my illness. And if you don't like it that's on you boo. Those people who fly off the handle about it get a nice block from me. Don't need that negativity. Never have never will.

 

[.MAELSTROM.]

Indeed, lol. I don't usually put my two cents in but the whole "you're INTENTIONALLY not committing" and "people just make up emergencies to get out of shit!!" vibes going on right now reek of mad ableism. Like, if one of my partners disappears for a week, my first thought isn't 'oh that damn scoundrel wasted my time', it's 'oh wow I hope they're okay'. And if they don't want to explain, that's fine. It's none of my business. I know first hand how humiliating it can be to have to admit to someone that your illness/disability/whatever hit you out of nowhere.

A little understanding goes a long way. It's ironic that people tout a lack of commitment as 'treating the other person like an NPC' when in reality, they're the ones treating their partner like their sole existence is to provide them with consistent writing on a perfect schedule.

 

[WhiskeyMarten]

I've had plenty of irl issues (real, not made-up issues if that's something I must clarify) that have prevented me from getting faster responses out, or stopped me from continuing with rps altogether (mostly not on this site, though it's happened here too). I firmly believe in putting your life over roleplaying, and I think most people agree on that point.

I think there should be some communication about it *before* a roleplay starts though. Some people expect faster responses, and that's ok. Some people prefer to take things slow and that's also ok.

I think that if it's likely that someone will need to take breaks throughout the course of a roleplay, it's something that should be communicated to their partner/group beforehand, especially if the other person has stated their preference in posting frequency (of course I understand that unpredictable stuff can happen, and that's not what I'm talking about here).

tl;dr a bit of communication goes a long way. people have different expectations and that's fine as long as everyone participating is happy.

 

[Inno]

The thing is there are moments when no one knows whether they're going to take breaks. You don't expect to be God forbid in an accident or in the hospital or something happens to your family. These are circumstances NO ONE can account for nor prepare for and it seems that with some people it doesn't matter. That right there is a problem. Or just because someone can handle grief in their own way to continue roleplay others should be the same. Everyone is not the same. If I suddenly find myself in the hospital, I don't give a damn about telling anyone I won't be able to roleplay. That's the least of my concerns or the roleplay itself.

The fact that it's even got to this point is absolutely amazing. I definitely know who I would never write with.

 

[Melpomene]

I honestly think people get too up in arms about ghosting anyways, tbh. I understand it can be irritating, getting so excited for an RP just for it to fizzle out without comment but this is a hobby and no one is entitled to another person's time.

If someone needs to leave an RP, they need to leave an RP. It's part of the hobby that you learn to just move on and find another.

 

[.MAELSTROM.]

Honestly, I think the recent trends towards 'short, instant gratification RPs' are responsible for the new influx of people losing their minds over perceived ghosting/flakiness/whatever you want to call it; I've been in the community for a long time and I don't recall there ever being this much of an entitlement to other people's time. I sort of blame the rising fad of Discord RPs and other IM apps for causing this. Back when the only way to get hold of your partner was through a site's messaging system, folks were a little more understanding about letting someone take their time. Now that everyone and their mother has discord and it means 24/7 access to someone with an obligation for them to respond promptly, it's gotten a bit out of control.

....or maybe i'm just getting old and i'm living in slow temporal distortion

 

[Mitheral]

Honestly, I think the recent trends towards 'short, instant gratification RPs' are responsible for the new influx of people losing their minds over perceived ghosting/flakiness/whatever you want to call it; I've been in the community for a long time and I don't recall there ever being this much of an entitlement to other people's time. I sort of blame the rising fad of Discord RPs and other IM apps for causing this. Back when the only way to get hold of your partner was through a site's messaging system, folks were a little more understanding about letting someone take their time. Now that everyone and their mother has discord and it means 24/7 access to someone with an obligation for them to respond promptly, it's gotten a bit out of control.

....or maybe i'm just getting old and i'm living in slow temporal distortion

You’re getting old. But then I am probably older.

 

[sfiorare]

I honestly think people get too up in arms about ghosting anyways, tbh. I understand it can be irritating, getting so excited for an RP just for it to fizzle out without comment but this is a hobby and no one is entitled to another person's time.

If someone needs to leave an RP, they need to leave an RP. It's part of the hobby that you learn to just move on and find another.

thank you, finally someone said it.

 

[Mitheral]

As to even ending up in a hospital, unless I had a stroke and couldn’t let folks know, I make whatever effort I can to communicate. Like today, 18 hour work day when I scheduled a day off. Rare, but it happens. I let folks know. Going in for surgery? Well, it isn’t unexpected if it was scheduled. I let people know.

 

[lisbeth]

tmw we live in a world where roleplaying is more important than ur mental and physical wellbeing. this is what george orwell tried to warn us about smh

 

[.MAELSTROM.]

tmw we live in a world where roleplaying is more important than ur mental and physical wellbeing. this is what george orwell tried to warn us about smh

me in the floor after a seizure typing up an apology to my partners for not having the clairvoyance to have seen it coming

 

[WhiskeyMarten]

As to even ending up in a hospital, unless I had a stroke and couldn’t let folks know, I make whatever effort I can to communicate. Like today, 18 hour work day when I scheduled a day off. Rare, but it happens. I let folks know. Going in for surgery? Well, it isn’t unexpected if it was scheduled. I let people know.

I don't think people are talking about stuff like work and scheduled medical procedures

I definitely know who I would never write with.

Because this is under my post I must ask, is this directed at me? I hope my message didn't come out unclear

 

[Inno]

Because this is under my post I must ask, is this directed at me? I hope my message didn't come out unclear

Not at you.

 

[Chordling]

Everyone should stop coming up with so many good roleplay ideas. I want to join all of them but there’s never enough time. FOMO hits hard you know?