Viewpoint What did you do if your rp partner(s) ghosting on you?

[ZeeNathan]

The title said it. If your rp partner(s) ghost on you what did you do? What if you love the topic so much and you feel like it's such a waste to drop it?

 

[Tove]

First check to see if they are alright. If I didn't hear anything from them move on. Even if the roleplay is something I love, I would still move on. Find someone else to make an even better roleplay.

 

[Syntra]

I move on. I mean, what can you do? If I love the plot too much, I do try to recycle it after some time has passed, though.

 

[Funyarinpa]

Poke them to make sure they're okay if at all possible. Mourn the death of the roleplay if it was anything of particular interest. Sign up for a new thing. Repeat steps one through three to the end of time.

 

[Idea]

I usually give my partners a lot of breathing room anyway, so all of the following pertain specifically to the lack of OOC responses:
-> At first, I'll try to give my partner some space if they stop responding. There's all kinds of circumstances here on RPN and pressuring people when they could be going through something is not a good idea. While I am still not sure whether they have ghosted me, I focus on other hobbies instead.
-> After a good while without a response, I try to reach them.
-> If the silence persists much beyond that point, I will consider myself probably ghosted. What I do then will largely depend on how much I enjoyed the roleplay (if it was one of my favorites or I really really loved it, I'll probably still try to keep a slot open in case the partner comes back) and my mood (I will not search for a new partner if I'm not in a particular mood to get new roleplays going either).
->Sooner or later I will search for new partners. At some point I just consider there is no chance of them even coming back, or that if they did I wouldn't want to continue the RP. I may even start to forget the RP. When this happens, I am pretty ready for a better replacement.

 

[Universes]

Move on, of course. It feels bad, but what can I do? Won't get depressed over a RP. I'll just continue with my other RPs and perhaps find someone who'd be interested in the same RP I've been ghosted.
I mean... we shouldn't put so much emotion on something like this. I'll definitely feel bad if my 3+ years RP partner ghosts me, but if it's someone we've roleplayed for a couple of weeks it can't "hurt" me.

 

[Lorsh]

if they ghost you, just wait until 3 years later when they express utter joy at one of your interest checks then tell them to fuck off

 

[PauciloquentPumpkin]

If someone ghosts me, I cry silently in a corner for a few days.

Honestly, I don't really care all that much. Sadly, almost every 1x1 RP I've ever done I've been ghosted on at some point. And basically every group RP I've ever done has had a ghoster or two. Usually I check in on them, generally only once. I know it's possible that notifications get eaten sometimes and for whatever reason don't go through. I generally assume it's because my partner either gets overwhelmed or loses interest, and is too fearful of asking me to either change up details to make things more interesting for them, or they're afraid to tell me they don't want to RP any more. That or they lose track and it falls through.

Either way, if they aren't interested enough in the RP to continue, I don't care to push people. I just try again. Though it's a little sad when a 1x1 RP doesn't get past the first arc in the story.

 

[Crayons]

Aside from checking on them to see if they're ok, nothing. There's nothing you can do.

 

[spookie]

hold a funeral, obviously.

there really isn't much you can do about it. be disappointed for a while if it was a roleplay or setting you particularly enjoyed, then eventually move on. recycle the plot and characters for a new group or partner if you liked them.

wash. rinse. repeat.

i don't do 1x1s, but i've been in the group scene long enough not to really bother getting attached to a particular roleplay since most of them die out so quickly... it's sad, yes, but it isn't personal.​

 

[Stale Biscuit]

Well, I took a chip. Then I proceeded to eat it.

But on a serious note, there's nothing much that can be done. It sucks, but other than checking up on them there's nothing else you can really do on your part. Probably just move on and start something else. If they comeback later and the rp was good enough to wanna do it again then yay, but yeah that about it for me.

 

[moocow]

if we got through a good chunk of posts, reread em every once in a while and appreciate the characters

then probably take a little break on that one idea

then make another interest check about it

 

[peritwinkle]

Sometimes, life gets in the way for your partners too and their ghosting is justified. Other times they just lose interest in the plot you guys discussed. I've had that happen to me and I simply recycled and revamped the plot with someone else, and things turned out great. Most of the times it isn't the plot, but the lack of a fitting partner. You may have the same writing styles but that doesn't make you good roleplay partners.

 

[Melpomene]

I have never really gotten upset with being ghosted, it isn't a big deal to me, even with a more long term roleplay and partner. As someone who has had... A lot happen IRL, I understand the sudden need to ghost without even thinking about telling online people what's going on or where you are going. Depressive and suicidal thoughts sometimes make you cut people off and ghost when you should not, and I realize that, so I never hold it against people who do. Even if it ends up just being because they are bored or we just don't match as RP partners.

And I ESPECIALLY understand during Covid 19 why people might ghost because ya girl is struggling too (gotta pay rent somehow they said I can't have my Trump Bucks...)

I have had to drop people because while we were both detailed writers, and liked the same genre and similar setting, the types of story we liked to tell were very different.

Not to mention with longterm partners, sometimes you grow and change with time, and they don't change in the same way with you. My writing style has changed immensely from a year or two ago, and thus how I tell stories has as well. And let me say it has made me mighty picky about my partners.

Finally, what I do when it happens, I just redo the plot if I liked it enough and play it with someone else. Usually I don't use old characters, but I did have two RPs where I took the characters I made and put them into my novels so I have decided to keep them open for RP but that is about it. Just get up, dust yourself off, try again.

 

[Franklin]

This is rough and feelings are valid. I would say let yourself mourn the idea and then move on. I think the other person who had ghosted can't help but understand your want to move on. A story may always be able to be picked back up. When role playing and you have to leave someone hanging like that ; at least in my own situation, I'd totally be understanding if they started over with someone new or moved on.

*pats back*

I really empathize with this.

 

[brilliantfraud]

The older I've gotten and the more 1x1 RPs I have done, the more understanding I am of ghosting. Sometimes it happens. Usually it's nothing to do with the RP or you as a partner. Sometimes it really is as simple as real life got in the way. Sometimes, it's just that they lost muse for whatever you were writing and they didn't have the heart to let you know. For some, disappearing is easier than talking about it.

Honestly, over the years, the best thing to do is just to move on. If it was a really good/important RP, eat some ice cream, binge your favorite show, and, eventually, it won't bother you so much. And then, in a surprise turn of events, you'll find another partner who is amazing and who helps you build an amazing RP that you can get excited about!

Hang in there!

 

[Gowi]

I'd probably stop having my hopes up with the RP? I mean, I wouldn't confront them. I'd just move on and probably not trust them to be earnest in the future. Probably would not accept them in any RP in the future.

 

[chuuhi]

If I really really like the plot a lot, I'd actually get quite sad about it.

When I think I've been ghosted and they don't reply for maybe, a few days to week? Depending on how frequently they used to respond. Then first I'd apologize and ask if I did or said something they didn't like, if there's anything they'd like to change, or just ask how they're doing. If they still don't reply and I've really been ghosted then I'll cry alone and let them be. What a tragedy.

 

[Jack is Back]

It's somewhat easy for me to move on. I usually drop it the second I see it happening. I might even try reaching out years later and be like "so I had an idea for a new rp..." If they don't respond, then I completely drop them as a partner. I feel like sometimes people are just too embarrassed to end it proper. I try not to hold it against them.

 

[chaepeumeon]

Easy, I get upset, and rant about it to my husband.

 

[Jack is Back]

Easy, I get upset, and rant about it to my husband.

Honestly? Me too. I may say I keep my cool but that's only because I have him to vent to.

 

[chaepeumeon]

Honestly? Me too. I may say I keep my cool but that's only because I have him to vent to.

Yes. He always seems to understand my issues, and helps to comfort and distract me.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Usually I check in with their health and their real life stuff first. A high number of my partners have just had IRL kick their butts. They got ill, they had work stuff come up, they had family troubles.

If I don’t hear from them for a few days I put the roleplay on hiatus.

my go to is this - if you don’t respond for three days to a week I send a health check email. If you don’t respond in three days to a week the roleplay is on hiatus.

the time period depends on post speed.

 

[pfpfpfpf]

For me, it is a different type of ghost than just one.

1. There are the ones who want to rp but life gets in the way (work, college, family/relationship, and so on). They tell you they will get back to you when they can. You get it and they resume when they can.

2. Then you have the ones who treat you like the wild card. You know, they will rp with you when they feel like it. There were times I can see someone I know and even though we are both free and doing nothing at the moment, the other won't even say hello when I say hello.

3. Lastly, is the vanished without a trace. You find someone who is interested and either one or both will try to invent a scenario for the rp, sometimes even create a character sheet. Sometimes after they will get into the rp at first that can last an hour or most of the time, the other will vanish without even getting the rp started. You don't get a reason why they did that.

Sorry if that sounds a bit long but sharing the experiences I had happen to me in the last few months of rps so far.

 

[s e v e n]

hunt them down

Jk sorta I mean just move on I guess. Poke them, no response, aight. I mean life gets in the way ok RP isn't everything. Dont hold it against them, u dont know what's happening. If u like the plot sm find other ppl heck there are lots of fish in the sea. But if I poke them, then no response, then I still see them active elsewhere all sunny and peachy, I write their names on my death note.

Jk again. Even they're douches, u dont have to be a douche too. Keep doing what you love I guess. (Also i used to ghost back then. Not proud, but life happens). Stop ghosting, start hosting uwu