The Person Above Rolled a 1

[Swift_Phoenix]

Sadly he catches you and forces you to sign the Sokovia Accords while singing his favourite Led Zeppelin song.

I try to rescue Bucky from HYDRA’s clutches but I roll a 1.

 

[.Arteries.]

You end up getting brainwashed and turned into HYDRA's next super soldier.

I try and hug Swift, but roll a one.

 

[Superfly47]

You try to hug a swift breeze but you can never catch it.

I try to dance to Taylor Swift but roll a one.

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

You topple over yourself, tripping all the time while dancing. It's agony.

I try to heal someone, but I roll a 1.

 

[.Arteries.]

You end up healing them, but their ailments affect you x10.

I try and walk outside, but roll a 1.

 

[Swift_Phoenix]

You walk smack dab into Helmut Zemo.

I try to ask for Tony Stark’s help but I roll a 1.

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

You end up healing them, but their ailments affect you x10.

(Hopefully those ailments are just poison, I have immunity to it!)

Tony Stark instead asks for your help at the same time. Now you are both stuck wondering who will do what next.

I attempt to wall jump off a skyscraper but I roll a one.

 

[Redfork2000]

You perform the wall jump, but you managed to hit the skyscraper in such a way that the entire wall crumbled. Now you're buried in the rubble left from the crumbled wall.

I attempt to eat a pizza, but I roll a one.

 

[Swift_Phoenix]

The pizza comes alive and eats YOU!

I try to make waffles for Bucky but I roll a1.

 

[.Arteries.]

You make waffles for me, but end up accidentally mix in arsenic with the batter.

I try and shake someone's hand, but roll a 1.

 

[HowlingWoods]

You try to shake someone's hand, but it's a dog and they don't know how to shake.

I try to get adopted by a family of wolves, but roll a 1.

 

[Swift_Phoenix]

The wolves abandon you on account of your macabre love of eating cats.

I try to defeat HYDRA but I roll a 1.

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

HYDRA escapes unharmed, while you almost die.

I try to craft a TellTale Heart to revive my friends but I roll a one.

 

[Redfork2000]

You instead craft a very similar itema that revives your enemies.

I attempt to create a portal to the pony world bull I roll a one.

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

You instead craft a very similar item that revives your enemies.

(What- how would a item do that-)

Well, I mean. You are stuck in the pony world now. And those ponies don't look friendly.

I try to do a frontflip, but I roll a Natural 1.

 

[Swift_Phoenix]

You trip over your own shoelaces and go skidding into a puddle that makes you slide into a glass shop, where you wreck half the glass items for sale and are forced to pay for them.

I try to watch Spider-Man: Homecoming but I roll a 1.

 

[Redfork2000]

The device you're using to watch it displays an error message, and then randomly blows up.

I try to play Cuphead, but I roll a 1.

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

You trip over your own shoelaces and go skidding into a puddle that makes you slide into a glass shop, where you wreck half the glass items for sale and are forced to pay for them.

(I mean at least they were on sale-)

The device you used to play the game doesn't run after you quit the game.


I decide to jump off a cliff while taking minimal falling damage, but I roll a 1.

 

[Redfork2000]

Well... that didn't go well...


(Replace "wikihow" with "FoxyPlayGamer435")

I try to buy an ice cream cone, but I roll a one.

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

(HAHAHAHHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-)

You buy the wrong flavor.

I try to climb a cliff but I roll a 1.

 

[Swift_Phoenix]

You realise you haven’t attached your safety rope to anything and go falling way back down.

I try to stop Thanos but I roll a 1.

 

[.Arteries.]

Thanos decides to just snap you instead.

I try and give someone a high-five, but roll a 1.

 

[Swift_Phoenix]

You accidentally use the wrong hand — your vibranium one — and put too much Super Soldier strength behind the slap.
The person won’t be high-fiving anyone else for the foreseeable future.

I try to go back in time and save Black Widow but I roll a 1.

 

[.Arteries.]

(DYING LAUGHING)

Yo do save her, by going over the cliff yourself.

 

[Redfork2000]

You don't feel so good, and end up disintegrated.

I try to perform a double jump, but I roll a 1.