Deadwood Deer
Ten Thousand Club
Family trips sucked. Jessica Williams had figured that out when she was small. Road trips were the worst, her family of seven crammed into a beat up old van and driven across the country, seemingly perfectly arranged so that everyone was sat next to the person most likely to drive them to commit murder on the highway. And God forbid someone actually complain about that arrangement! So the moment she was old enough to have a say in the matter, Jess stopped going on family trips where she could avoid it.
Unfortunately, this was a trip she didn’t have a say in. The Williams family reunion, once a decade experience, a lifetime of regret to follow. Big families weren’t supposed to be compacted into one area like that. Jess was a firm believer that if you were within arms reach of more than one person over the age of eight that you weren’t actively talking to, they were too close and they needed to back up out of your business. Jess seemed to be the only member of her family with that opinion, however.
It also sucked that this year the reunion was being held at Uncle Mike’s apartment in New York. Didn’t they know New York was dangerous? That was where all the superheroes happened! Buildings were destroyed every other week by fights! It was crazy dangerous! And Jess lived in a crappy neighborhood full of crackheads in central Florida that hadn’t had a visit from code enforcement since God was a toddler, so her bar for crazy dangerous was crazy high! And not the fun kind, either!
Almost vindicating Jessica’s position, here came a gooey mess of web right next to her head before Venom came whizzing by! “Hey!”, Jess shouted at the vigilante, “You almost killed me!”
Venom dropped out of the air and stood on top of a street sign, surveying the area, before spotting the gunman he was looking for. He flicked his wrist and fired a gooey web at the man as he raised his rifle and started to walk into the reunion to declare a hostage situation. The man got two steps and one shot off before being yanked back and knocked out by the black-suited vigilante known as Venom, tying him up and leaving him hanging from a street lamp for the police to arrive, glaring down at the irritated Floridian woman, his webs weren’t as dangerous as that man could have been.
“You think that makes it better?” Where Jess was from, saving someone from being killed didn’t absolve you of almost killing them seconds prior.
“Calm down, kid,” Venom growled, “The police will be here soon, argue with them.” With that he webbed back up to the skyline, leaving a thread of his costume torn on the streetsign.
“Asshole,” Jessica muttered.
“Hey, relax,” Uncle Mike tried to get Jessica back into the swing of things, “He just saved your life!”
“How hard did you hit your head?”, Jessica demanded, “I wouldn’t have a problem if he didn’t almost take my life first!”, she pointed to the splotch of webbing on the side of the street sign, “That was almost my face!” She spread her arms, “Look around! How many other places could he have jumped to? There’s a street light right there! Cars! How the hell do I have better common sense than a superhero?” Up on the street sign, that torn thread from Venom’s symbiote suit was looking much… gooey-er than before, if anyone was looking at it. Most people didn’t scrutinize street signs for longer than it took to tell what it said, though.
With Jessica’s arms spread, the still mostly-full glass of black magic in her hand was in perfect position to catch the falling bit of goo. Unbeknownst to onlookers, that bit of goo wasn’t any regular bit of street tar, it was a baby klyntar symbiote searching for a host. It didn’t really get the chance to attach to that host however as Jessica headed back inside as the police started to arrive. She was already planning to book a flight back home early, this experience only solidified that need.
Airlines let you bring food and drinks with you as long as it was packaged correctly. In tiny bottles and big bags, in her purse Jessica had brought both so she could take some happy juice with her and fast-travel back home passed out in her seat. By the time the police came around to take her statement, Jessica was already ready to go, and the baby klyntar had wound up sealed in a tiny bottle inside of a bag, inside of a purse, stuffed in a suitcase.
“I’ve got a flight in ten minutes, so unless you’re gonna buy me another ticket you need to let me go,” she explained to the police, “I didn’t see anything.” That excuse didn’t fly well, but no one ever said the police in that area were competent, and they let Jess go.
She’d actually forgotten about the alcohol in her bag until she was back in her one-room apartment with her cat, unpacking and grumbling to herself about the absolute shit-storm that family reunions always turned out to be. “I’m not going to the next one,” she decided as she started tossing clothes into the laundry basket, “I don’t care what mom says.”
Jessica’s apartment was small, small enough that she saved space any way she could. That included her bed. She didn’t have a bedframe, instead she balanced her mattress atop a sheet of plywood screwed on top of two squat dressers, with the laundry basket between them so there wasn’t a weird-looking gap. That also freed up space around the walls, where her kitchenette and desk were, and her tiny bathroom on one side. She tossed her purse onto her desk, where the bags of tiny bottles of booze rolled out carelessly while she went into the bathroom to shower and remove the New York Family stink from herself. At least the hot water still worked in this crappy apartment.
Coming out of the shower a while later with a towel wrapped around herself, Jessica started to get dressed again to go to bed, and then remembered the alcohol bottles. “Damn, that would have been useful on the flight.” She shook her head and went to the desk with the towel still around her and went through the bottles, deciding whether it was worth the frankenstein it would make if she poured them all into one bottle. “Eh, what the hell.” If Floridians were known for being wise, Florida Man wouldn’t be a legend. She started opening tiny bottles and pouring them into a water bottle to mix them up.
Mixing them up, that is, until she got to the bottle of black magic that the baby klyntar was hiding in, but the liquid wasn’t coming out. “Huh?” She squeezed the bottle, then turned it to face the funnel and smacked the back, trying to force it out, to reclaim that bottle if nothing else. That not being successful, she looked into the bottle, trying to figure out what was going on, only for a small gooey blob to shoot out at her face...
Unfortunately, this was a trip she didn’t have a say in. The Williams family reunion, once a decade experience, a lifetime of regret to follow. Big families weren’t supposed to be compacted into one area like that. Jess was a firm believer that if you were within arms reach of more than one person over the age of eight that you weren’t actively talking to, they were too close and they needed to back up out of your business. Jess seemed to be the only member of her family with that opinion, however.
It also sucked that this year the reunion was being held at Uncle Mike’s apartment in New York. Didn’t they know New York was dangerous? That was where all the superheroes happened! Buildings were destroyed every other week by fights! It was crazy dangerous! And Jess lived in a crappy neighborhood full of crackheads in central Florida that hadn’t had a visit from code enforcement since God was a toddler, so her bar for crazy dangerous was crazy high! And not the fun kind, either!
Almost vindicating Jessica’s position, here came a gooey mess of web right next to her head before Venom came whizzing by! “Hey!”, Jess shouted at the vigilante, “You almost killed me!”
Venom dropped out of the air and stood on top of a street sign, surveying the area, before spotting the gunman he was looking for. He flicked his wrist and fired a gooey web at the man as he raised his rifle and started to walk into the reunion to declare a hostage situation. The man got two steps and one shot off before being yanked back and knocked out by the black-suited vigilante known as Venom, tying him up and leaving him hanging from a street lamp for the police to arrive, glaring down at the irritated Floridian woman, his webs weren’t as dangerous as that man could have been.
“You think that makes it better?” Where Jess was from, saving someone from being killed didn’t absolve you of almost killing them seconds prior.
“Calm down, kid,” Venom growled, “The police will be here soon, argue with them.” With that he webbed back up to the skyline, leaving a thread of his costume torn on the streetsign.
“Asshole,” Jessica muttered.
“Hey, relax,” Uncle Mike tried to get Jessica back into the swing of things, “He just saved your life!”
“How hard did you hit your head?”, Jessica demanded, “I wouldn’t have a problem if he didn’t almost take my life first!”, she pointed to the splotch of webbing on the side of the street sign, “That was almost my face!” She spread her arms, “Look around! How many other places could he have jumped to? There’s a street light right there! Cars! How the hell do I have better common sense than a superhero?” Up on the street sign, that torn thread from Venom’s symbiote suit was looking much… gooey-er than before, if anyone was looking at it. Most people didn’t scrutinize street signs for longer than it took to tell what it said, though.
With Jessica’s arms spread, the still mostly-full glass of black magic in her hand was in perfect position to catch the falling bit of goo. Unbeknownst to onlookers, that bit of goo wasn’t any regular bit of street tar, it was a baby klyntar symbiote searching for a host. It didn’t really get the chance to attach to that host however as Jessica headed back inside as the police started to arrive. She was already planning to book a flight back home early, this experience only solidified that need.
Airlines let you bring food and drinks with you as long as it was packaged correctly. In tiny bottles and big bags, in her purse Jessica had brought both so she could take some happy juice with her and fast-travel back home passed out in her seat. By the time the police came around to take her statement, Jessica was already ready to go, and the baby klyntar had wound up sealed in a tiny bottle inside of a bag, inside of a purse, stuffed in a suitcase.
“I’ve got a flight in ten minutes, so unless you’re gonna buy me another ticket you need to let me go,” she explained to the police, “I didn’t see anything.” That excuse didn’t fly well, but no one ever said the police in that area were competent, and they let Jess go.
She’d actually forgotten about the alcohol in her bag until she was back in her one-room apartment with her cat, unpacking and grumbling to herself about the absolute shit-storm that family reunions always turned out to be. “I’m not going to the next one,” she decided as she started tossing clothes into the laundry basket, “I don’t care what mom says.”
Jessica’s apartment was small, small enough that she saved space any way she could. That included her bed. She didn’t have a bedframe, instead she balanced her mattress atop a sheet of plywood screwed on top of two squat dressers, with the laundry basket between them so there wasn’t a weird-looking gap. That also freed up space around the walls, where her kitchenette and desk were, and her tiny bathroom on one side. She tossed her purse onto her desk, where the bags of tiny bottles of booze rolled out carelessly while she went into the bathroom to shower and remove the New York Family stink from herself. At least the hot water still worked in this crappy apartment.
Coming out of the shower a while later with a towel wrapped around herself, Jessica started to get dressed again to go to bed, and then remembered the alcohol bottles. “Damn, that would have been useful on the flight.” She shook her head and went to the desk with the towel still around her and went through the bottles, deciding whether it was worth the frankenstein it would make if she poured them all into one bottle. “Eh, what the hell.” If Floridians were known for being wise, Florida Man wouldn’t be a legend. She started opening tiny bottles and pouring them into a water bottle to mix them up.
Mixing them up, that is, until she got to the bottle of black magic that the baby klyntar was hiding in, but the liquid wasn’t coming out. “Huh?” She squeezed the bottle, then turned it to face the funnel and smacked the back, trying to force it out, to reclaim that bottle if nothing else. That not being successful, she looked into the bottle, trying to figure out what was going on, only for a small gooey blob to shoot out at her face...
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