Spider Girl x Deadpool

[The Omen of Death]

It was an interesting day outside, as the sun shone over the skyline of NYC. The huge looming silvery buildings of steel and years of effort, the streets lived and were practically alive in activity as people, bicyclists, and cars all went off to wherever the hell they needed to go. The subways making their mighty roar as they rolled on by, the occasional honk and accompanied by the screaming, and muttering with angry dri-


"Hey RPer, I get what you are trying to do here. Yes the scenery porn is nice and all, but eh I think we need to move this along, we have a RP to do. So come on let's give them descriptions about me, let's go let's go chop chop." The impatient mercenary said, whom was clad in red spandex, wielding two katana blades and two pistols. Almost like a red ninja who looked awfully like Spiderman "You know, I am surprised that we don't get stopped or anything, for having these weapons literally at the ready in public. Also no one seems to care about that." A voice in his head said. "I know right?!? It's like we could just start shooting and killing people and they would not even react!" His other voice chimed in with. "Yes, yes both of you guys are beautiful. Now RPer let's get to the point, where we finally learn my fucking name?!?" This man said.


He appeared to have stopped moving and had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot impatiently as if waiting. "That is exactly what I am doing!" This mercenaries name is Deadpool and today he is going off to meet an old "friend" of his and his family. He began to walk again when one his voices reminded him "Umm, you are walking past the apartment." "Oh yes, thank you whitey! Now let's get in there and say hi to the good ol' man!" Deadpool then began to press buttons on his teleporter. "Are you seriously not going to go up there and knock or ring a doorbell or anything and just storm your way in? You do know they are probably going to call the cops or something like that..." Deadpool simply smirked and said "Yep!" And then teleported himself into what he thought was Peter's apartment and literally yelled "Hey! How's my good ol' stubby 1 legged spider doing?!?" "Great way to go get arrested, or a punch in the face." But the only response he got was from someone who was definitely not who was once Spiderman "HEY GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT YA' DUMBASS BEFORE I BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU WITH A BAT!" "Or just being beaten up with a bat." "Oh, sounds like someone hasn't gotten their blowjob, might wanna fix that and get one!" Deadpool then teleported again into what was actually they're apartment. "Hey, happy random ass year of having one leg and a stump! You should get out of retirement you know? Have I ever told you about the one legged man in the ass kicking contest? It's an inspirational story, come on I can pick you up off your lazy ass and give you a cool Rocky training montage, and hope you don't get salmonella!" He yelled out loud obviously not caring about anyone and how they felt.





@LittleMuse

 

[renegademouse]

Mayday was home with her books studying, today was quiet and she really had to get some studying done or else.. Well, her parents would make her hang up her costume. Even if she was an adult. She could hear little benjy running around in his room. Her mother had gone out with a friend and her dad was in his study doing god knows what. Not one Spider in that home had expected to get a visit.


Mayday hadn't known Wade, she had only heard of him from her father and the news. In fact, the news was telling her he was in New York right now, she hoped to go to the Xavier school. He was a man who wasn't good nor was he bad. It made her job difficult with people like that. Too many people had worked for people who pays the mos-


Her head gave a tingle. Spidey sense. She leapt up and practically down the steps before her father hobbled out of his study. "Who do you think you are?" The firey woman stated, soon realizing the red costume. What are you a bad Spiderman impersonator?"


Peter stopped at the top of the stairs with his cane in hand, his son Benjy came out to stand beside him. "I can't take someone out of their job, Wade." He chuckled. "Meet my daughter, Mayday, down girl." He joked. He laughed watching his daughter give a poubt like her mother.
​

 

[The Omen of Death]

Deadpool would begin to casually sit around, as if he was completely welcome there and like he knocked. Then hearing May's voice in the house he quipped back with "I know who I am. I'm just trying to figure out who you think you are. And no, I am not a your father impersonator, because he does not carry around badass guns and katana and look like a spider facefucked Freddy Krueger who got cancer." And with that did a quick face reveal to show the scarred, tumor ridden face of a man once truly known as Wade Wilson.


He pulled the mask back down almost as quickly so that he would not scare the children too much. Although he seemingly never had a concern as to his language infront of them. "Well, what an entrance and it's like Peter didn't even care that you never bothered to knock or anything." "Guess that means consent!" "Oh my god, don't tell me you are trying to give him THOSE ideas. And why the hell did you have to take it in THAT CONTEXT." Deadpool's two voices began exchanging words, which obviously was turning into things that shall not be discussed. But Deadpool was getting a headache from this, especially since if those voices had bodies, you could imagine a fight going on in there. "Both of you, while spideypool should still be a thing, and I am still open to it... I am NOT going for that for anyone of these two right now. Although," he seemingly have had been talking to himself but then when he addressed the two he pointed to both May and Peter he continued, by saying. "Yes, I know her. I think we dated in some issues or one don't remember, besides I see her following the same itsy bitsty spider up the waterspout, to the path of fighting crime and kicking ass in her own way. And yes you can you silly little spider! The police do a terrible job at they're jobs anyway, besides both of you combined could kick absolute ass! With me, no one could stop us! I could be the witty, sarcastic chop em' up guy. And you two would be the backup comic relief and doing your superhero things!"

 

[renegademouse]

Mayday was throughly confused as he spoke to himself. What was he talking about? "Is he doing that one thing you did as a kid 'break the fourth wall'?" She wasn't sure what was with those two. (In the new Spiderman show he breaks the fourth wall.) She rose a brow to Wade, "I really don't know who you are. I just heard of you from my dad and the news." She quipped.


'This should be fun,' Peter thought. They all where mouthy. "Spideypool isn't happening and your not getting with my daughter." He shooed Benjy back to his room and hobbled down the steps. "I know the cops suck, but as you can see not everyone can grow limbs."
​

 

[The Omen of Death]

Deadpool chuckled a bit when May asked if he was doing the 'break the 4th wall' thing. "My dear little day of May, that was just me telling two voices in my head to be quiet because quite the display was going on. Because I still am a bit insane, although it also has to do with some fusion bullshit that happened a loooong time ago. Although, if I wanted you could say hi to the RPers and anyone else paying attention to this. Thing is knowing you from news and old comics I definitely know who you are." "Oh yes, because the people are surely going to respond." Deadpool seemingly continued to make himself comfortable and never flinched in his non serious attitude. "Ah come on Peter! You are such a party pooper you know that? You know the fans would go crazy for another ship and having us finally be as one! Also did I say I wanted to be with her? No I simply mentioned previous comics. And you know, you could always find a recruiter telling you he can fix your leg, then get dragged into a torture montage that involves wolverines healing factor and trying to beat more mutations out, and then go on a revenge tale to get back at em' then there you go! Legs back problem solved, unless I ran out and did a bunch of bullshit to get my hands on the healing factor and give it to you. Oh hey, that sounds like a plot in the making ding ding ding!" "Oh so essentially you are telling him to recreate our GOOD movie, well that's great..." "Well if someone wants to follow our path and become more like us, they should and become almost as awesome as us!"

 

[renegademouse]

Peter had sighed, watching his daughter grow even more confused. "Well," he mused Wade, "I highly doubt I am meant to be in this 'RP'. I repeat, for your 'RPer' that you are not to get romanticly involved with Mayday." He turned and hobbled into the kitchen. He could let his daughter deal with him. He was getting too old for that.


Mayday just rose a brow at the two, now she could see why the two where shipped in this psychos head. They where both nuts. "Anyways," the girl walked to her door and held it open. "You got your answer from my dad or would you like something else?" She asked. "I have a lot of studying to do before I have messes to clean up." She said, staring at Deadpool.
​

 

[The Omen of Death]

"Of course, because Mr. Party Mc Pooperson does not want to have fun anymore. Come ooon I have to still be like 30 something years old and you have to aaaggge." Deadpool pouting like a 5 year old. "I know! Aging sucks worse then having to relive Wolverine: Origins." then felt a shudder down his spine. "Oh my god not that-" He then over exaggeratedly gagged in his mouth. "-abomination, that's even worse then Jar Jar Binks by only barely." But his other voice chimed in. "You are both right, but luckily for us cancer also stops aging processes as well. Also of course he was going to deny you, for 1. He was originally around 15 and you again tried hitting on him for a creepy age difference shi-" "Hey brain! You know?!? People actually want that! And I personally want it, and with our newest crossover comic we want it even more! The people don't give a shit about age difference!" Deadpool snapped back with. The voice only sighed and said "There is no arguing with you... You just set out to do what you want. Either way none of them will let you have it."





Deadpool then realized he had left May hanging there, with no response besides what would have been seen as a madman's rambling. "Well I could be like that annoying younger brother that you could never have, and pester you to the ends of the earth and cause you to NOT get the work done anytime so-" and with that he heard commotion outside.


He then said "Shhh... My common sense is tingling, that and plot convenience for some action." He then slowly approached the door, hand on his pistol ready to draw. The distinct sound of weapons being prepared was heard, and then they approached the building; these men were heavily armed for an assault. And then there was a simple knock at the door, Deadpool taking the opportunity quipped. "Sorry the mailman already gave me the pink dildo, and the group of sexually depraved misfits action figures." The voice on the other side was still calm. "Please open up the door, it's an emergency." "Oh, did you really need to use the bathroom that bad? Should have done the buisness at wherever the fuck rundown piece of shit place you call your home is." This is what ticked off the men's patience as this was followed up by smashing on the door. Deadpool then sighed and drew his pistol quietly and walked up to the door, "Ok! Ok! Sheesh you're like my ex wife she was like almost always on her period, and bled a lot." He then opened up the door and was greeted by a man armed with a submachine gun, unfortunately for him Deadpool had his pistol aiming for his head by then, and pulled the trigger killing him instantly. "Like that. And also she ended up dead like that, wow such coincidence!" As he said this he had the gun trained on another goon and shot his face as well before he had time to react. Unfortunately for Deadpool the 3rd man had a shotgun and was prepared, for which he shot square into Deadpools chest. He yelped as he was sent flying back with a newly found hole in his chest, which had begun healing. "Quick someone, use they're awesome spider powers while I recover and then kick someone's ass! Also what the shits with the censor on the violence and gore! It's a form of art to show writing ability!" But obviously the voices had something to say. "Ahem, the other RPer specifically stated on her thing she does not like gore, should have paid attention to the fine print." "If I was told of this sooner, I would not have done this gig!"

 

[renegademouse]

"I have a little brot-" She watched as he looked outside and sighed. She moved quickly to remove her over layers to head outside once her mask was in place. She had swung out of a window to capture a couple of people in a web before she landed on top of the man that had just shot Deadpool. "Now now.. Shooting ins't nice," he swung at her in which she jumped on the wall. "Niether is hitting. Time out, big boy." She smirked under her mask and wrapped him up before kicking him over to the other two. "Like three fine borritos." She chuckled, moving to get on top of their truck. "Deadpool, get in loser lets go for a ride." Yes, she stole that off of Mean Girls.


She moved to look inside the drivers area. "No seatbelts." she tsked.
​

 

[The Omen of Death]

As Deadpool's chest finally healed completely he got up and then realized the other men outside were good, except for one who seemingly snuck by and didn't know Deadpool was there. "You left one! This ones a sneaky bastard!" "Yeah how dare she not get this one! And she calls herself a hero!" And with that Deadpool pulled the trigger shooting the man's face, dropping him to the floor. "Alright I am coming! Cleaned up the mess in the apartment, but umm... There is another mess they made, it's all red, and dripping. Might want to clean that up later." "I wonder how this mess is gonna be to be described... And cleaned up..." And then Deadpool teleported outside. To where he saw the 3 of the others grouped together, especially eyeing the one who shotgunned his chest. All of them, having the absolute look of fear as they saw his chest fully healed, and better than ever. Besides the rips in the spandex that exposed his cancerous, tumor ridden chest. "Oh thanks! Now you can all state at my tumor sack of a body! And you." "Fuck him up! Use his intestines as jump ropes!" "Oh good lord, barbarism at its finest." His two voices stated. "Well they never said this job was clean!"


Now giving a look at the man who shot him. Deadpool took out his magic satchel and out of it came an overly decorated tanto, like the ones the samurai's used for seppuku. And then he said "You dishonobru your famiry now go you go commit seppuku!" And then Deadpool drove the tanto's blade into the mans chest, twisting it as if he were doing it, causing the man extreme agony and screaming, until he bled out. "And also, I have a better idea Ms. Webslinging Master Blaster." Deadpool then attempted to pick the two men in the webs but could not. "If you would be so kind as to provide an assist and be a good little spider and help out a fellow bro and get them in the truck? Wherever you want to go, I want to bring them and tor- I mean have a little "chat" with them and figure out anything we can about who these two work for."