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Fantasy Primacy [Closed]

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“Damnit Mikhail!” Kirsikka did not keep her irritation to herself as he interrupted, as Tamsin lost that gleam in her eyes that told Kirsikka she understood how to cast. That told Kirsikka she was going to cast. Sure, Tamsin was lost to anger, but if she pushed on that, and survived – then Tamsin would have that locked in. She’d know she could do it, and on command, even if that command was anger.

She could also control it and keep it pointed.

But no – Mikhail had to interrupt. “She almost had it!” Fuck exhaustion, Tamsin could sleep later! But the moment was broken and she let out a frustrated sigh, pushed her hand back through her hair to move strands back out of her face. She probably should have tied it back – but then again, she really never concerned herself much to be prepared for combat.

When it happened for real, she handled it quick.

“Fine, fine, go in and take care of yourself,” Kirsikka gave a dismissive wave to send her off. Her own energy was waning quickly now the adrenaline was wearing off, and when Tamsin started to head off she gave Mikhail an annoyed look, “You did see we almost made progress to her casting on her own accord, right?”

She wanted an explanation, even if it should have been obvious in the way she shivered.

~***~

Kirsikka was not the only one who could get Dravon the answers he wanted.

There were others, although they were less than savory, even by his sometimes low standards. One just so happened to be a blood mage who’d dabbled in forbidden arts – arts Dravon always knew needed more research, so when he was uncovered, Dravon made sure his punishment was a bit…lenient.

Exile, obviously.

Exile didn’t stop a mage from practicing – a bracelet had done that, although Dravon had long made that bracelet inert. Rience was still forced to wear it, a fact obvious as Dravon stepped out from a portal he made through the highly reflective water of the bathhouse to see Rience, well…relaxing.

Or, well, he had been relaxing.

Dravon didn’t bother with a hood, or anything to hide his appearance, nor his wound that had killed him. He just cocked a smirk at Rience, wishing he was some other red-head, “Hello, old friend,” they were definitely not friends.

Not…exactly.

Useful tools to each other, really. “I see you’re not busy.”
 
Sensing an argument brewing, Tamsin headed back inside after the dismissal. She gave a polite nod toward Drazhan, who reciprocated, and once inside, she gave Malina a polite smile as the fire mage raised a questioning eyebrow at her current state.

Focused on changing into warm clothes, she headed upstairs and opened the door to her temporary room without knocking, not thinking that Varick was already in there, and that maybe she should warn him that she was coming inside.

She just opened the door, and her gaze immediately landed on Varick, his bulking frame hard to miss. “Oh! There you went off to.” No doubt brooding while alone, thinking of all the awful ways Kirsikka was going to maim her.

And look! She was fine! Just soaked to the bone with freezing water and small lacerations on her face and arms. Nothing major.

“I’d say the attempts today went well. I actually managed to manifest something.” As she spoke, Tamsin dug through her bag and pulled out some clean, dry clothes to change into, not thinking about how angry Varick was when they last spoke.

~~~

Drazhan just leaned back against the doorframe as he watched the conversation unfold before him. It wasn’t necessary to jump in just yet.

“You saw how she was soaked to the bone with that cold water you threw on her. Yes, she may had almost had it, but if she stayed in those clothes any longer, then she wouldn’t risked getting sick.” Tamsin hardly had any muscle or fat on her, she was bound to get sickly fast if she wasn’t careful.

Mikhail sighed, holding his hands right in front of him in a sign of peace. “You two did make progress, and I believe she’ll pick right back up where you two left off and make even more progress.” And if she didn’t, he didn’t doubt that Kirsikka would throw everything at Tamsin until she did.

“And I could tell you two were getting more exhausted than you believe. Remember, casting magic is exhausting enough for us who have been studying it for centuries. For someone like Tamsin, regardless of what she is, she needs to stretch those muscles and build up that endurance.” They all needed a nice break.

And what better for a break than tea? “Come on, I’ll make some tea for all of us, and I’m sure you still haven’t eaten anything yet, have you?”

~~~

Rience sighed as he slowly immersed himself into the bath waters, the water heated to the temperature he preferred. He was the lone figure in that particular section, the two other guys who had been there manipulated into leaving so no one would bother him.

And anyone who came in? He can easily turn them around and send them back out without getting out of the water.

Rience felt the energy in the air before he saw the portal. He tensed, and his eyes narrowed at the man who appeared. “Dravon,” he growled. No, there were definitely not old friends, but Rience didn’t jump out of the water at the sight of him.

A bit surprised? Yes, if the stories and songs he heard were true. Which, judging by the large wound on his neck, probably were. “And here I thought you were dead on some battlefield a long way from here thanks to your girlfriend.”

The Boreal Wind. Someone he wouldn’t mind seeing.

“I’m busy enough.” The tips of his fingers of one hand trailed along the surface of the water. “What do you want?”
 
Varick had little to do, but he was accustomed to it. He was trying to think of what to do, but the sounds from outside continued to reach him, continued to bother them. He recognized when they stopped. He recognized Tamsin’s footsteps, so he was not surprised when she came in, dripping wet, bleeding.

Not a sight he wanted to see.

And he was still angry this was what she wanted for herself, even if she claimed there was progress. He wasn’t any happier at all, “Have you considered maybe having Mikhail or the other one teach you, instead of Kirsikka?” It was true, Varick didn’t know much about this. He did recognize the difference in Mikhail and Kirsikka.

In Tamsin and Mikhail.

But did that mean they couldn’t help? “She could kill you, Tamsin.” She hadn’t. He was relieved that Tamsin didn’t even appear maimed, but it could have gone on longer. It could have wrecked her.

~***~

“Yes, I saw, I did it,” Kirsikka rolled her eyes a bit. Sickness! Pah! They could heal her from a simple cold. Kirsikka wasn’t even convinced the cold brought sickness, although her opinions of the cold were definitely skewed by now. Not that it was entirely positive.

Mostly it wasn’t, given all the death and destruction it wrought with no good to it.

But it was damned effective at killing things she didn’t like.

Still, she couldn’t deny that this didn’t all need to be done in one session. Even if she was an impatient person, notoriously so. She could let a task stretch out for years, though, so long as she was actively working on it. That was ever the problem. Now she wasn’t working at it. It was interrupted.

“No, I haven’t,” she admitted with a sigh. She probably needed to eat, though of course, her first thought had been to return to the potion project she abandoned. “Fine, I can take a quick break,” truth serum was supposed to happen anyways, wasn’t it? Assuming Varick could be lured out of his room for tea….

~***~

“You’ve heard the stories a bit wrong, it was General Arias that slew me,” Dravon chuckled, “Kirsikka devastated the battlefield right afterwards. It’s quite the sight, if you have not been to Mont Pellinor yet, you ought to see it. I knew I was about her,” he casually walked over to where Rience was. He wouldn’t join him in the tub, of course, but he did take a seat on the edge.

Near enough.

“I need assistance,” that sounded better than ‘help’ but it meant the same thing. “And your expertise may be of more use than others I have reached out to. As you can imagine, I am not alive of my own will.”

No, he hadn’t prepared for that.

It was never his goal. He preferred to just not die.

Now that he was…well…conscious, he supposed, he had to figure this situation out, and it wasn’t going to be as a pawn in a cosmic game. “I’ll spare you the unnecessary details, but I need to know what I am, exactly. I was brought back by…well, I suppose the common name for it right now is the Ineffable One,” he chuckled at the irony, but there was no humor in his tone at all.

He was furious.

It was the Ineffable One’s army that brought him down, after all. Oh sure, in the guise of Trifflehem, but he knew who was leading that fight.
 
Tamsin could see that Varick was still angry before he spoke, and she hated that. Her instinct was to fear anger, for anger would lead to violence, but she had to remind herself over and over that Varick wasn’t the sort to do that. He wouldn’t lash out, but use his words, whether they be calm or loud.

Silently, she listened to him and his questions as she attempted to wipe up some blood and water with a spare cloth. “It was something that was considered by all of us down there when you left and Mikhail came out.” That she would not deny. “Her magic is different from most mages, and therefore she had to learn to approach it differently from anyone else, including Mikhail or his sister. I did briefly consider asking Mikhail to teach me instead, but then I saw progress through the chaos.”

And she wanted to hold on to that progress so she wouldn’t grow more frustrated with herself.

She started shedding her wet clothes and dropped them on the floor by her feet. “Varick, I am a small woman with hardly any muscles or strength, nor do I know how to defend myself save for the few moves you taught me when we first met. I’ve been traveling by myself for ten years, even knowing that so much out there could kill me.”

Once her clean and dry tunic and pants were on, she stilled and sighed. Slowly, she walked up to Varick and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m tired of feeling that way. I’m glad you’re now here with me and willing to protect me, but I’m tired of feeling so weak and defenseless all the damn time, and so I’m willing to do what it takes to learn what I have and how to control it.”

~~~

Mikhail sighed and lowered his shoulders when Kirsikka admitted to not eating yet. Well, that certainly explained why she was so snappy! He placed both hands on either of her shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. “Then why don’t we go inside, you go grab that special ingredient for tea time,” he sent Drazhan a knowing look, “and we all relax. It’s been a tense day all around.”

Dravon’s visit had only been earlier that morning, and none of them were please to see the mage.

“And I’ll get started on a nice, hearty breakfast for you.” And while Kirsikka was away in her room getting the truth serum, he would grab the one he had on stock and make sure her breakfast gets a nice little sprinkling of the stuff.

Oh will he endure her wrath later on.

“Does that sound like a plan?” He dropped his hands from her shoulders and started walking back to the cottage. Drazhan stepped aside from the door so Mikhail could get in, and he would follow after Kirsikka.

~~~

Rience honestly didn’t care who slain the old mage in battle. He just cared that it had happened at all, though there would have been something poetic about being slain by a lover. “I must say I haven’t had the thought to visit Mont Pellinor since the battle, though perhaps I shall take my next vacation there.” Sarcasm.

His gaze followed Dravon as he situated himself on the edge, closer to Rience than he would have cared for, but he made no moves to get further away from the undead mage. Upon Dravon stating what he needed, Rience barked out his laughter. “The great Dravon needs my help?” The entire situation was comical, that the very mage that expelled him and snuffed out his powers for a good time now needed his help specifically.

He chuckled and shook his head. Oh why did he forget to bring something to drink? Something to further relax his body and his mind.

“Figure out what exactly this supposed god brought you back to life as,” he repeated, leaning back against the wall of the bath and looking up at the ceiling. “And why exactly should I help you? Our history together suggests I should send you back into oblivion somehow, and yet you actually have the audacity to ask me for help.”
 
Varick did want to help clean Tamsin up, patch her up, but his anger wouldn’t let him move. She let this happen to herself, she would have to clean herself up. Patch herself up. It was not a decision made entirely of anger, but mostly.

There were consequences.

This was one of them.

“And she learned it this way?” Varick didn’t know if he doubted it or not. He’d pieced together a few things when Dravon showed up. Dravon was more a typical mage, of course – but he was sure Dravon had a hand in much that Kirsikka knew. Something in Varick doubted that Dravon taught that way.

At least in life, he hadn’t seemed needlessly violent. He was too clever for that.

Tamsin tried to explain it. She came back around and wrapped her arms around Varick’s neck, but he still frowned even under her explanation. “I want you to learn magic,” he wasn’t against that at all. “I don’t appreciate the method you’re choosing to learn it under. I don’t want you to feel weak and defenseless. That’s why I was willing to teach you,” he lifted his hands up, between her arms, and gently pushed them aside as he rose from where he had been sitting.

“That doesn’t mean I approve of you throwing yourself recklessly into dangerous situations to learn.” He still didn’t trust Kirsikka generally, why would he trust Kirsikka with Tamsin’s life? Because she thought Tamsin was key to killing some God?

People found other ways when magical keys broke. If Kirsikka broke Tamsin, she’d just…look for that other way. “I won’t stop you. You’ve made your decision clear. I’m making my disapproval clear.” That was all it needed to be. He didn’t approve, but she’d keep doing it anyways.

~***~

Kirsikka wasn’t exactly given a choice by Mikhail, but she supposed she wouldn’t argue. The truth serum was something she wanted to see done, considering it was important to Drazhan to try and finally get closure with Varick – whatever that closure was going to look like. So, she nodded, sighed.

Relaxing only made the thought of doing anything that wasn’t sleep sound like torture. Even eating. She never really forgot what it was like to work through, well, everything sane she was supposed to do to maintain herself, but she still did it.

“I’ll be out shortly with it,” and she would make sure to check her own tea, lest Mikhail think he could pull a fast one on her because she was tired.

Mikhail went on ahead, and Kirsikka of course turned back to the house, as well. The day had been a mess; she still didn’t have the full story of how Dravon and Drazhan met, but she wouldn’t ask that during all of this, tempting though it was. “Don’t worry – I’ll be gentle with the questions,” she chuckled as she went by him, and returned to the room.

Her potion making mess was still there, so she sighed and used a bit of magic to move things over to one corner.

She wasn’t looking forward to taking that potion and not being herself anymore.

The truth serum, at least, was indeed done, and so she picked that up from everything. “Ready?”

~***~

“Our history together suggests you ought to help me because I was merciful to you when you were finally caught by others for your practices,” Dravon drawled, although he expected Rience to be argumentative. “I also released the same binding spell I put on you later so you could continue those practices under the condition you would make me aware of any notable discoveries.”

Dravon hadn’t really followed up.

Even if Rience never came to him to tell him, Dravon knew he’d find out – and things had trickled back to him. “There’s a place in our world for what you do. Not all of what you do, but,” a shrug. No one was perfect. “It wasn’t worth death, which I’ll remind you every other Visionary wanted for you. Were it not for me, you would be dead.”

Rience should be grateful, but when was a red-head ever truly grateful? Honestly, Dravon didn’t need to look far to know how he got himself into every mess. There was a red-head somewhere to blame for it.

He had a problem.

“However, I know gratitude isn’t a language you speak well, and I happen to need this, so instead I’ll offer you a favor. One thing that you want, for this, and then perhaps more,” he grinned, “though your competition is Kirsikka.”

Not that Kirsikka knew she had competition. That could give Rience the edge he needed to win. It’d be much different if he told Kirsikka; she knew how to work without eating or sleeping.
 
Kirsikka never outright said she learned her magic in a similar way, but it was heavily implied that it was an unorthodox method, different from her peers, so Tamsin hummed out an affirmative.

But she didn’t quite expect Varick to react the way he did. She gave him a confused and hurt expression when he pushed her arms away. So what, he was just gonna act like that until the lessons stopped with Kirsikka? She hated it. It almost felt manipulative in its own way.

It almost felt too much like something Roland would do.

Tamsin took a step backwards to get a better look at Varick. “Kirsikka isn’t going to kill me, and Mikhail stood nearby in case things did get a little out of hand. I’m not going to stop learning from her, not since I’ve actually started to learn something, and I sure hope you’re not going to continue to act like this just because you don’t approve of something I’m doing.”

And if he did, she just may find another place to sleep for the night. Maybe Mikhail had an extra cot or somewhere she could sleep.

~~~

Drazhan chuckled, not quite believing that Kirsikka would behave with him and the truth serum, but stupid enough to still go along with it. He followed right behind her and into the room - like some loyal puppy.

His eyes trailed over the little potion lab she made in Mikhail’s spare bedroom. What would Kirsikka be like in an actual space for potion making? What all did she know how to create without looking the recipe up in a book? He knew very little about potions himself; he just knew how to get the ingredients.

“I’m ready as I’ll ever be.” Yes, he was nervous, nervous about what he would potentially reveal in front of everyone. The actual potion itself didn’t scare him, just the side effects.

They headed back downstairs, where Mikhail was finishing up in the kitchen. Kirsikka’s meal waited for her on the counter, and a tray of teacups, filled with his special brew, waited for the final ingredient. Mikhail, personally, couldn’t wait for the chaos to unfold soon. Sure, Kirsikka may kill him when she figured out he gave her some of the serum as well, but it would be worth it.

~~~

Rience glared at Dravon, hating that he was right, but he wouldn’t dare to admit that outloud. If it wasn’t for the elder mage, he would be very much dead by now, and the unbreakable bracelet that wrapped around his wrist served as a reminder that Dravon could very much take away his magic when he wanted to.

Even in the afterlife? Rience would rather not test that.

He merely huffed in response, moving his gaze to stare at the wall and not at him. But the insufferable mage had to continue speaking. A favor in exchange for information he desired. A flicker of interest sparked back to life, which only doubled when Kirsikka’s name was mentioned.

Rience raised a brow and looked back over at Dravon. “Really now?” The Boreal Wind herself. And an old friend of a heavy interest of his, but the relationship could be very different now. “Say, do you know if she still talks to Mikhail?”
 
Varick’s brows knit together as Tamsin did admit that Kirsikka also learned through abuse. Well, there went whatever good opinion he’d ever had of Dravon, but that didn’t make this any better for Tamsin or Kirsikka to be continuing that kind of terrible cycle. Sure, Varick had done something similar with other Primals, but he didn’t think it was to this degree.

He didn’t send them out without knowledge, and he oversaw that knowledge. He oversaw their training. They didn’t even use real weapons at the outset – Kirsikka just threw Tamsin into icicles and roots without a damn thought!

And he was supposed to – what, be happy?

Tamsin trying to control how he felt about it annoyed him, “And just how am I supposed to act?” he snapped the question, “Do you want me to lie to you and act like I’m thrilled you’re throwing yourself at someone who apparently only knows how to abuse and be abused? That you’re not even trying to see if an alternative like Mikhail or Malina would work?” He sighed, but his anger didn’t dissipate with the breath.

“I don’t know how to act other than tell you I won’t get in your way, and I don’t like it. I can’t magically turn off my concerns for your health and be happy.”

~***~

The food practically made Kirsikka ravenous, but she didn’t go for it. She went to the tea, and murmured a word over it to detect anything off – just in case Mikhail thought he’d get away with poisoning it before she got there.

The tea didn’t respond as if it was tainted, so Kirsikka moved her cup off, and added the truth serum to the others. “It doesn’t take long to be effective, and this amount will last about…mm…four hours.” So she might have time to misbehave when she and Drazhan were alone.

She was pretty sure that would happen sooner than later, given Varick was likely not to be pleased with this, and eventually go off on his own. He was rather good at leaving situations. Leaving people.

Then again, someone like him probably got used to losing people. Leaving wasn’t hard.

With the truth serum emptied, she set the vial aside so it could be cleaned out later and used for something else, then took her tea and food, “I’ll go find a place to sit,” right by the fire, she was too cold and she felt it now that she was inside the house.

Hopefully Malina wasn’t occupying that spot, although she did wish Malina was out there. And would be subjected to the truth serum.

~***~

It did not surprise Dravon in the least that there was something that Rience wanted. Even if he was able to use magic, he was still an exile. People still knew his face, and his signature hair. Why did all red-heads become war criminals? There was probably a scientific reason for this, but damned if Dravon knew it.

‘Mikhail?’

Interesting.

Very interesting.

Dravon liked Mikhail well enough not to want to throw him into the lion’s maw, but he liked his freedom and life more. Mikhail was obviously going to stand against that. “They are still friends,” he said, and added on, “I just came from visiting them, actually, at Mikhail’s quaint little cottage. Rather well protected, but then, Mikhail never liked to be dragged into anything.”

Forever neutral.

Forever a coward.

Really, his one negative quality. Mikhail never could pick a side, and never would. The world could burn so long as he had his peace. It was a terrible way to live. “What do you want with Mikhail?”
 
Tamsin took another step back, a swirl of emotions warring inside her. She wanted to run without a destination, she wanted to allow herself to curl into a ball and cry, she wanted to scream all of her thoughts for whoever was nearby.

Instead, she took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second as she tried to calm down and process what Varick said. “I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared of what’s inside me and what I could become. I’m scared of losing control and killing everyone around me. So when Kirsikka offered to help, of course I said yes without hesitation or questions.”

Wrapping her arms around herself, Tamsin took a deep breath as she tried to control her emotions. “I’m scared of what I am, and with Kirsikka’s training, when I saw immediate results, I didn’t even care about her methods. I didn’t care if I got a little hurt in the process, not if it meant understanding more about my magic. We don’t know what’s going to happen when my birthday comes, and I want to be as prepared as possible for anything.”

There was a soft knock on the door, interrupting her tangent. There was tea downstairs. Maybe that would calm her down a bit.

She didn’t look back at Varick. She was afraid to see either anger or disappointment directed at her. “We’ll continue this in a little bit. I’m going to go get some tea and seriously consider asking Mikhail or Malina for a lesson. You’re welcome to join me instead of staying up here and brood some more.”

~~~

Mikhail eyed Kirsikka as she took her tea with the hint of a mischievous smirk, understanding her distrust in him not putting the truth serum in her tea. If only she thought about checking her food.

Good thing she wouldn’t.

Drazhan made a noise. “Oh great, four hours of uninhibited truths.” Kirsikka said she wouldn’t be too mean with her questions, but he knew she had a sadistic streak. She could decide to be cruel and teasing. And there was no telling what Varick would get up to in that time frame.

He wasn’t too concerned with Tamsin.

He grabbed his cup of tea and followed Kirsikka, sitting in a chair near her.

“I’ll go get the others.” But first, Mikhail grabbed the tray of tea and carried it to the main room, placing it next to a tray of grapes, cheeses, and bread, for anyone who wanted some.

He then headed upstairs, first knocking on Malina’s door. “There’s some tea and food downstairs. Either you join us or I’m telling everyone embarrassing stories about you.” He heard a muffled groan followed by ‘fine!”

Mikhail continued down the hall, stopping by the door of Tamsin’s and Varick’s room. He heard muffled talking, none of it sounding too happy. He knocked on the door, and the talking stopped. “There’s tea and some food downstairs. I highly encourage you two to come get some.”

With that, Mikhail went back downstairs, eager for the chaos to begin.

~~~

Rience lifted a brow in interest. “Oh?” Dravon knew the location of Mikhail’s damned hidden cottage, a place he has been trying to find for years. He’s come so close several times before, but Mikhail always managed to evade at just the right moment.

“I’m surprised that someone like Kirsikka is still friends with him.” He stretched his arms out to rest on the edge of the bath. “She was always so stubbornly firm in her beliefs, wasn’t she?” He didn’t know of their fight over their principals, or that they had only reconciled very recently. “And he was always about keeping peace and neutrality.”

Everyone had to have at least one negative quality, and Rience could easily look past that. “We have a long history together,” he said calmly. “I would simply like to see how an old friend is doing.”

Too bad Mikhail didn’t feel the same way, but maybe one day he would.

“Next time you visit your Kirsikka there, I would like to come along. I’m sure he misses me.”
 
Open communication was hard when emotions were hot. Varick knew that, so he did mentally applaud Tamsin as she withstood his anger and tried to remain rational. It was hard for him, too. He did want Tamsin to get better, but he was also so frustrated with her just jumping right into training with Kirsikka – and Kirsikka’s terrible methods.

But the timeline was right.

He understood her stress.

Mikhail knocked on the door, and offered tea and food. Varick sighed, allowing the conversation to end. “All right,” he got up, and he did go to Tamsin before she could escape, to pull her into a quick, tight, embrace. To let his forehead rest on her head and let out another irritated sigh. No matter how irritated he was, he still cared deeply for her. His anger was all about not wanting her to get hurt, after all.

“If you need me to help convince either one of them,” if they started to back off because Kirsikka had taken over, “I will.” It was at least worth a try.

But he would go out and eat. Drink. It’d have to improve his mood at least a bit, so he’d let her go, and follow her out for a meal.

~***~

Kirsikka was more than pleased to hear Malina’s stubborn agreement. She didn’t really have anything to ask Malina…but she did want embarrassing stories, and what better way to get them than to ask Malina herself? About Mikhail, and Malina.

Drazhan settled near her, and she started to eat, “I always forget how hungry I get when I do too much work,” she sighed, aware of it, but it never stopped her forgetfulness. It was ever the same, a bad habit she spent too much time developing.

Varick and Tamsin arrived not long after, and Varick gave both her and Drazhan serious side-eye. Not a surprise. “She’s in one piece,” Kirsikka said to the look as Varick grabbed a cup of tea, and some food. “Barely injured.”

“But injured all the same.” Varick stated, curt.

“Like you never injured a student.”

“It’s different.”

“I’m sure,” Kirsikka just rolled her eyes, keeping a grin off her lips as Varick downed the tea quick, no doubt wanting to get out of there sooner than later, even if he was bound by Tamsin’s schedule. “You are all right, right, Tamsin?” She was a bit concerned.

~***~

Truth be told, Dravon was surprised she was still friends with Mikhail, as well. Kirsikka was a woman of strong principals. She didn’t bend easily on them; he knew from experience. But, she did bend. She’d come back to the Ordo Sors more than once, after all. Even after getting into screaming matches with him over decisions that had been made, and threatening to raze it to the ground.

“Kirsikka’s as fickle as she is principled. Or perhaps, too rash, before she actually thinks about what she’s doing,” he waved it off, “though I’ll admit to similar surprise, I suppose I’ll learn more about it later.”

What he did learn was that Rience wanted to see Mikhail. “When you have an answer about what I am, I’ll happily show you to Mikhail’s cottage, but not a moment before. Consider that incentive to begin your work, if you’re so eager to catch up with him. He seemed quite all right to me, though. Should I mention to him that you’re longing to see him, or shall I leave that a surprise?”

He seriously doubted Rience just wanted to see Mikhail.

Mikhail was no doubt keeping Rience away for a reason. All the people Mikhail wanted to see, knew how to see him. Dravon had never been on that list, he usually had to wait until Mikhail stepped out into public. And he’d always tried to talk Mikhail back into the Ordo, as well. It never worked quite as well as it did with Kirsikka.

“Depending on what I am,” Dravon noted, “I may have additional favors you can win from me,” considering he needed to disconnect himself from the White Sun. That might require more from Rience or Kirsikka; time would tell.
 
Tamsin squeaked out a noise of surprise when she felt Varick’s arms around her. She didn’t expect the embrace to be honest, or any form of affection, but she appreciated it, as it eased some of her irrational fears.

She relaxed in his hold. “Given the way Mikhail reacted to the training, I don’t think he’ll be too hard to convince.” He may even agree before she could finish her question. But if she wasn’t seeing similar results with Mikhail as she did with Kirsikka, then Tamsin won’t hesitate to go back to her.

They both headed downstairs, with, again, Tamsin surprised at Varick. This time for easily agreeing to get something light to eat and drink. Even he realized he needed to cool down for a bit.

Tamsin wondered if bringing him in the same room as Kirsikka and Drazhan was a good idea though;

Seconds before Tamsin and Varick came down, Malina emerged from her room. She didn’t spare Kirsikka or Drazhan a glance, but she gave a relatively friendly nod towards Mikhail, even if she wasn’t pleased that he threatened her. She grabbed her tea and a single grape, sitting near Mikhail and hoping to sneak away in a few minutes.

Kirsikka and Varick started, and Drazhan merely snorted when Varick tried to deny ever injuring a Primal in training by saying it’s different. It really wasn’t. Same principal at the end of the day. He remembered a few broken bones here and there.

Tamsin grabbed her tea, rolling her eyes at Kirsikka and Varick. She fixed a small plate of the grapes and cheese before sitting down on a couch. “I’m fine,” she insisted. “It’s not like I haven’t had a few scrapes and bruises before.” And worse.

“Sounds like I missed out on the fun,” Drazhan mused.

~~~

Rience glanced back up at Dravon. “I never understood what you saw in her. She wouldn’t hesitate to bite off your dick if you piss her off enough. Though, I suppose you’re into that sort of thing.” Dravon certainly had a thing for red-heads, Rience thought to himself in a moment of silent remembrance of their Ordo Sors days.

Too bad they were all idiots.

Rience hummed in thought. Should his arrival be a surprise? Or should he let sweet Mikhail know that he’s still looking for him? “Just tell him Rience sends his regards.” Just enough to let Mikhail know that Rience was still out there, thinking of him.

Dravon’s little incentive of offering to show him Mikhail’s cottage was certainly motivation enough to research into Dravon’s…condition.

“Additional favors you say?” he mumbled, bringing his hand up to look at the bracelet he could never remove himself. “That may be a good enough incentive for me to agree to help. Things have been quite boring for a while anyways.”
 
Kirsikka rolled her eyes at Drazhan’s statement of fun as everyone settled into a terribly tense grouping around the food. Varick didn’t sit, of course, why would he? He was prepared to leave as soon as he could, but Tamsin was at least trying to relax, “I’m still glad you’re all right,” Kirsikka said, so Tamsin knew.

Sure, her goal had been to draw out the power, but it seemed this method hadn’t left Tamsin pissed at her. Unlike Varick.

The potion didn’t take long at all to take effect. Malina, Tamsin, Varick – it’d be quite easy to disrupt any of them with an embarrassing question, but of course, the one she had to check was Varick. He was the damn Primal. Potions didn’t always work how she wanted with them, something she learned with Drazhan.

“Varick, I’ve been wondering,” Kirsikka kept her eyes on her own food, “you’ve known Drazhan for a while.”

“Not recently.”

A truth, but not one that counted. His tone indicated he didn’t want to talk about Drazhan at all, which was fine. That meant it’d be a surprise to him to even engage in conversation about Drazhan, “Still – as a kid,” she should apologize for starting like this, but she wouldn’t, “what’s the most embarrassing thing he’s ever done?”

Varick did wrinkle his nose. He clearly was not interested in this, and he shook his head. “You can ask him yourself, he’s made plenty of embarrassing life decisions,” ouch. Varick definitely wasn’t getting nicer.

Yet, Varick couldn’t stop himself. He tried to swallow it back, it even looked like he was struggling to chew something, before his lips opened, and the words came out in a torrential rush to be spoken, “Although there was one time I caught him out of Geot Draath with a few of the others when he shouldn’t have been,” chasing some monstrous rumor that wasn’t true as kids were apt to do, “soon as I yelled, he tried to mount back on his horse and ride off, as if I didn’t already recognize who was out. It was raining, he acted too fast and without enough care. Got right up on the horse and the momentum took him right back over. Landed on the other side, face first in the mud.”

Kirsikka couldn’t really stop herself from laughing, so she just tried to cover it with her hand.

Because afterwards, it was not that funny – well, not to most people. It was still funny to her.

Varick immediately put the cup of tea down, “You poisoned me!” He snapped at Kirsikka.

“Truth serum,” she admitted, since everyone had a sip by then, “but yes, I did. And sadly not just to get terrible stories about Drazhan out of you, since I could just poison him for that.”

~***~

Dravon chuckled his agreement at Rience’s statement. Kirsikka would, indeed, do such a thing if pissed off, and he was ever stupid enough to let her near. It made things exciting. It was an intoxicant neither of them needed, but they kept returning to each other, moths drawn to the flame of whatever the hell their relationship was.

It was definitely on fire, and likely needed to be put out for good.

Dravon couldn’t bring himself to do that. He doubted Kirsikka could, either, no matter how bad it was for the pair of them. He was too drawn to that feeling of power, and there was nothing quite like having someone such as Kirsikka leashed…literally and figuratively.

But he wouldn’t try to explain it to Rience. He wasn’t there to wax poetic about his continued bad decisions, he was there to get Rience to help, and the man agreed, with a quaint little message for him to deliver to Mikhail, one day. He’d do it at his leisure. “Mm. Once I know what I am, I’ll need to know what to do about that. But, that depends on what I am,” he waved it off dismissively.

The favors would vary greatly due to that.

It all began with that, though. That would help to reveal his connection to the White Sun, and how to break it. He refused to think of that as an ‘if’. He would break it. He would live again, truly, fully, and then he’d massacre Trifflehem and the Order of Light, and rebuild the Ordo Sors.

“I do wish you luck,” he rose, there was little reason to remain now that it seemed Rience agreed, “You can leave me a message at Mont Pellinor when you’ve finished. I’ll be checking there periodically.” It was the safest place for him to check, after all. It wasn’t safe by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn’t like he could just go wandering through a town.

A necropolis suited.
 
While everyone was distracted by Varick’s story of a young Drazhan, Mikhail silently conjured an invisible shield around the room. No doubt Varick would try to storm out as soon as he figured out what was going on, and Kirsikka?

Well, maybe he should’ve been more concerned about her cursing him, but she would also try to leave when she figured out he put the serum in her food.

Mikhail was the only one in the room without the truth serum removing the filter of his mind.

Drazhan groaned at the question Kirsikka asked, not quite knowing which memory Varick would tell. Of course Varick had to be cruel when it concerned the subject of Drazhan, claiming that the younger Primal had done plenty of embarrassing things. Not long after though he blurted out a memory Drazhan recalled all too well.

He was very young, not even a teenager, and he had snuck out with a few others because they had more curiosity than intelligence.

“Why did you give him a truth serum?” Tamsin asked, brows scrunched and worry on her face. Had she been wrong in trusting this mage?

“You’ll see soon enough,” hummed Mikhail. “Call it a team building exercise.” Malina narrowed her eyes at her brother, as she slowly realized all of their drinks must have been drugged. Mikhail smiled and looked over at Kirsikka. Time to test if her truth serum had taken effect yet. “Hey Kirsikka, did you and Dravon ever fuck in my bed back at Ordo Sorts?”
 
Kirsikka did offer Tamsin a sympathetic look, but rolled her eyes at Mikhail’s answer. It wasn’t entirely wrong, but it was mostly for Drazhan and Varick. Her amusement was a secondary, but necessary, addition. However, Mikhail’s question was…unexpected.

And she still felt compelled to address Tamsin’s query, despite Mikhail answering it. ‘What the….’

She knew the sensation, and so she took a deep breath as a litany of curse words in multiple languages flowed through her mind. She could react, and then everyone would know. Or maybe she could play it off? “No, Mikhail,” she said, “Your room meant nothing to us.” Which was true, why waste time on Mikhail’s bed when they could go back to their own rooms?

Sure, Mikhail was her friend, and Dravon was occasionally prone to fits of jealousy – but it had never amounted to that with Mikhail. “As for that, Tamsin, Drazhan has some questions he needs to ask Varick and get truthful answers out of him. Just tainting Varick’s drink with the serum was likely to be a bit too suspicious, since we’d have to persuade him to drink from a particular cup, so we decided to just taint them all. I’d say I’m sorry about that, but,” she shrugged, “I’m really not.”

Fuck Mikhail.

“You were just poisoned for my entertainment, Malina,” she gave her a cheeky grin, “try not to draw attention to yourself and maybe I’ll keep the focus on Varick and Drazhan.”

Which, of course, meant she should steer this correctly and get the hell out of there as soon as possible, before everyone caught on that she was poisoned. “So, shall we? Oh – one note, truth serums can’t force you to speak universal, objective truths. Trust me, we mages have tried to find the secret of the universe by this. Sadly, it’s just what we know, or what we think, to be truth – so it’s still subjective, but an…honest subjectivity. You can’t lie about your feelings and thoughts.”

Varick hadn’t stopped glaring at Kirsikka until Drazhan was mentioned.

And then his glare went right to Drazhan. “Was this your idea?” he ground out, deciding he’d get that answer out of the way. “Did you not learn enough already?” what more could he fucking want?
 
Although not completely satisfied with her answer - Mikhail was sure someone had messed up his bed with a mysterious stain on it - he let it be. Obviously it wasn’t those two. He could see the truth serum affecting Kirsikka, though he wondered how long it would take for her to yell at him.

Worth it.

Even as he could feel Malina’s glare deepen on him.

Tamsin looked a bit betrayed by this information.

“No, this wasn’t my idea at all,” Drazhan said, much calmer than Varick’s obvious anger. “It was hers,” he pointed a thumb at Kirsikka. “The whole idea was brought up because no, I didn’t learn anything, because you refused to talk about it, like anything else that causes you to experience too many emotions.”

Drazhan suddenly hoped that truth serum didn’t increase the urge for someone to punch another.

“Why do you refuse to talk to me at all?” He might as well ask. “What was it about someone still young and too naive for their own good to journey by themselves for a bit that pissed you off enough to get into a screaming match?”
 
Kirsikka would fall silent, not wanting attention on her, even if Drazhan made it obvious this was her idea. That didn’t seem to be a surprise based on Varick’s look.

‘Of course the mage decided this.’ Of course Drazhan was still so damn controlled by her he went along with it. It wasn’t as if Varick had lied to them while they were out hunting for her damned ingredients.

What more did he want?

Varick let his glare return to Drazhan as he tried to get information. “You betrayed me.” Varick stated, not at all bothered by the blunt words being forced from his lips. He was bothered that they were forced, but not by the words themselves. “I told you if you left, you would not be able to return, and you still left. That is why I have no desire to talk to you, nor inclination. You were willing to leave it all behind, so I have left you behind, Drazhan. You’re just a painful ghost to me.”

His failure.

“You ignored all my warnings. You ignored everything I told you. You knew the history of what happened to us – you still know it – and your actions continue to threaten all of us who remain. Whenever I hear a story about a rogue Primal harming humans, I know who it must be, and I live in fear of my brothers and sisters being harmed because of your actions, every fucking day.” His voice rose, his anger hot.

If Drazhan wanted the truth, so be it. “When you left, I assumed you’d be dead in a year, and that’s what pissed me off back then. That you were walking out into your death. Then, you lived. But at a risk to all of us, and you didn’t care. Tell me,” since the serum was in play, “why I should care anymore about you?”

He made his choice, and Varick knew he’d been very clear when he was yelling at him, about what he was choosing.

Drazhan may be young and stupid, but Varick didn’t make false threats.

Drazhan had to know that, even then.
 
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Everyone simply leaned back in their seats to try and disappear from the room while the two Primal screamed at each other. It was incredibly awkward to watch. But Malina didn’t feel the same way. She relaxed in her seat and watched as one might watch a show.

“I was a fucking kid. I didn’t actually want to leave any of it behind, and I was naive enough to believe that your words were simply empty threats, and that you would accept me back after one of your training exercise punishments.” How wrong he had been. Drazhan remembered how some nights, he practically begged to the gods for one of those infamous punishments rather than his life of pure isolation.

“I was a kid who needed some guidance from a father-like figure, but all I got was yelling and accusations.” All he really needed was a long, deep conversation, but Varick had never been that person. He was too stubborn and strong in his own convictions. Nor had Drazhan ever seen him soft.

“I didn’t want to end up as a bounty hunter, but I did so out of desperation for food since it was the only job I could find at the time, as everything else was denied to me, which I’m sure you know too well.” And he hated it, knowing what kind of reputation it brought him and his brethren, but food was food.

He paused for a second, and sighed. “I bet deep down, even you feel some regret for how things ended. And I’m not foolish to believe we can completely mend our relationship, at least acknowledging each other and saying a few words would be nice.”
 
Apparently, all Drazhan had for why Varick should care, was that he had been a stupid kid who made a mistake. A stupid kid who didn’t believe Varick would be serious – and now he was an adult, realizing how serious Varick truly was. As if Varick had ever been not serious in his entire life.

Not that Drazhan ever came back to find out if he’d be accepted. He wouldn’t have been – but he hadn’t even tried.

“I gave you guidance up until you left,” Varick stated. “The others took to it,” not Drazhan, obviously. He didn’t know why it failed with him, and honestly, probably wouldn’t have understood it even if Drazhan explained. It worked with everyone else. They accepted what they were. They didn’t try to run from it, even if they disliked it.

They all had that period of hating to be trapped in a role they had no say in. Even Varick could empathize with that, but Drazhan had decided to try and just…completely deny it when he ran off. “I do regret what happened. That doesn’t change it. That doesn’t mean I want you back in my life, to allow you the opportunity to betray everyone again.” Because it wasn’t just about him.

It was about every other Primal, too. “You’re not the only Primal who hated that their fate was laid out for them. You’re not the only Primal who wished it could have been any other way, or even the only one to see if it was possible to live another way – but you are the one who spat in our faces and left, loudly, proclaiming you would be something else.”

Varick shook his head, “So I can’t consider you a part of us any longer. You may have been young, but you weren’t a kid,” not in his mind. He’d been adult enough when he made the decision, even if Primals lived significantly longer than humans. “You may have considered my threats empty, but that’s a mistake you only make once. The same mistake a person makes when they think it’s safe to sneak a look at a basilisk, because they definitely won’t catch its eyes by accident.”

He heard Drazhan. He even felt regret, and wished things could have been different.

Like the fool who looked at the basilisk just once – they weren’t. Varick never understood why people found it so difficult to move on from the past, except that, he supposed, most dreamed of restoring it.

He knew better. “I do regret I couldn’t find a way to reach you back then, but you’re right. We will never have a relationship as I have with the others. And I’m not sure there will be nice words in the future, because I don’t want to give you the chance to fuck it all up again, Drazhan.” He wasn’t the fool who looked at a basilisk.

He wasn’t the fool who gave second chances easily.
 
There was a tense moment of silence. No one even dared to breathe too loud. The only sound to be heard was the faint croaking of a frog from outside. Drazhan couldn’t form any thoughts that may help Varick think about the conversation and change his mind. It all would be useless, wouldn’t it?

“You’re kind of an ass,” Tamsin was the only one to speak up, directing her words to Varick. “First, comparing his mistake to looking at a basilisk? The two aren’t even comparable! You know what’s going to happen when you look at a basilisk, but being a child and questioning your parent’s threats? Who doesn’t do that!” She said it as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

“There are some mistakes that shouldn’t be forgiven, but someone young who was simply questioning life? No one should be faulted for that.” In her mind, it was rather ludicrous that Varick was even saying such words to begin with! And with so few Primals left, shouldn’t Varick be wanting to try and fix that relationship?

Drazhan looked at Tamsin with mild surprise, wondering why she would even stick up for him in the first place, truth serum or not. Or why someone with that much kindness would even be with Varick in the first place. That was weird.

He turned back to Varick. “I know you don’t forgive after a mistake, because you will say one mistake will be enough for a monster to kill you. But maybe you should think of this from the perspective of the human experience, that yes, I made a huge mistake all those years ago, a mistake I don’t fully regret for what it brought me over the years, but I do regret what I said and how I left, and I would like for things to be more civil so we can discuss more,” he paused as he took a quick glance at the people around the room, “at a later time.”

This was already embarrassing enough, having to unload years of emotions like that.
 
Varick snorted at Tamsin’s interjection. There was nothing funny to it, except that she hadn’t realized he was an ass a while ago. She had seen him interact with the wider world. He could be nice, but once he was crossed, he didn’t let it go. “Everyone does it. There’s a difference in questioning and acting.” Varick may not have had a family in the traditional sense, but he knew that much.

He'd questioned things when he was younger, too. He’d never gone as far as Drazhan. He wouldn’t have faulted Drazhan if it was just petulant questioning. When Drazhan asked him to think of it from the human experience, Varick reminded, “I’m not human. Neither are you,” they had been, once.

No longer. Their experiences weren’t human, either.

“I don’t know why you don’t want to discuss it now. You have everyone on your side,” which was true, and Varick knew it. Drazhan could try to leverage that, or at least enjoy the comfort of feeling right, for a bit. At least see Varick talked to, lectured, by everyone in the room for his wrath.

“And maybe I have overreacted. I don’t think that I have. I’ve given you exactly what you asked for – freedom from our life, and no contact. You want a civil relationship, I can give that, and I have, until you tried to pressure me for something warm.” There was a difference. Civil was what Varick gave most, warmth was reserved for very few. “I’m barely warm to clients, Drazhan. I am not going to be warm to you.”

“It’s cute you’re so afraid of a child,” Kirsikka noted, “do you really think he can break your heart all over again?” She had fun with the phrasing.

Yes,” Varick very obviously did not like that question by the manner in which he spat the ‘yes’ – that he was afraid of being hurt again by Drazhan. “That’s not the entire reason—”

“Oh spare me, I just wanted a yes or no,” Kirsikka grinned, malicious glint in her eyes, “that would probably be better, don’t you agree? Simple, yes and no questions,” she leaned forward, crossing her arms over her knees, “Do you still love Drazhan as family?”

The sheer fucking anger probably would have killed Kirsikka where she sat. Varick tried to turn to leave, apparently the answer he wanted to say not at the tip of his tongue, but when he reached a point, he hit a shield.

Kirsikka trilled laughter, not expecting it, but not angry about it. Not yet.

Varick couldn’t even curse the shield. He couldn’t speak until the answer was out, and every second the denial of it got worse and worse. It wasn’t painful, but it was increasingly uncomfortable. “YES!” he hated the word, as he slammed a fist against the shield he couldn’t break through, and turned back, “put the barrier down, Kirsikka.”

“I didn’t create it,” she said, still laughing, “there now, there, we know all your anger is because you’re afraid of being vulnerable again. It’s cute.”

Nothing about Varick was cute.
 
Drazhan was mildly surprised that Kirsikka stepped in, but he was ultimately grateful, especially as she made it clear she would not be merciful with her questions, going straight for Varick’s heart and thoughts.

His brows shot up with the answer Varick gave though. Drazhan had completely expected for Varick to have gotten rid of Drazhan from his soul. But Drazhan was still there for some reason. Even as he huffed and puffed and tried to storm off to avoid answering another question, yet stopped by an invisible shield that he guessed Mikhail put up, Varick still thought of Drazhan as family.

After all of these years, after all of the ill thoughts he held, Varick still thought of Drazhan as family.

Malina looked amused at the entire exchange, enjoying watching the angry Primal trying to avoid confronting his emotions. Mikhail looked less amused than his sister, but mirth still twinkled in his eyes.

Drazhan just stood there for a second, trying to process Varick’s words. “Is there a part of you that wishes for us to heal and become a family again?”
 
If there was one thing she and Malina had in common, Kirsikka did suspect it was a sadistic streak. She saw Malina’s glee with all of this, but ignored her. For now, that was for the best. She really didn’t need anyone trying her with questions, even if she could fire back worse. She was sure Malina knew that.

Hoped.

Now that there was a barrier, there’d be no escape.

Varick was not pleased that Kirsikka had clearly taught Drazhan the way in which to question. Yes and No. Simple. Impossible to talk around. “Yes,” he ground out the word, “it is not the dominant part,” he wanted to reiterate that.

Even as Kirsikka lifted and wagged a finger at him, “Just yes or no here, Varick!” she said, sing-song.

All right, he was sick of this. And he hadn’t forgotten what Mikhail asked her, which meant, she was probably under since he was conspiring in all of this, too. “Are you and Dravon working together?” he shifted the subject to try and get things off of him.

“No,” Kirsikka answered, rolling her eyes.

“Did Dravon teach you the way you’re teaching Tamsin?”

‘God fucking—’ Of course all the questions were going to be about Dravon. “I have a life outside of him,” Kirsikka stated, bored, delaying. Not that she needed to, she just wanted it to seem…natural. That she wasn’t under a serum, “and no, he didn’t, I’ve explained to her why I’m using that method, and everyone else. We’re not exactly the same, and I’m not the one who needs to be questioned here. You do.”

“No, you just didn’t expect to be questioned, but Mikhail put you under a truth serum, too,” Varick snapped, “if this is for unity, I think there are plenty of questions we have for you, as well, given your penchant for destruction. You are under a truth serum, aren’t you?”

Fuck his simple questions.

“Yes.”
 
Varick said yes, which was enough for Drazhan. Enough to have hope that in the future, they could begin mending their relationship, if Varick ever got past that stubborn streak of his.

Varick switched the tables on Kirsikka. Drazhan wasn't going to ask her any questions concerning Dravon, honestly a little afraid of the answers she’ll speak. Twice she had spoken the old mage’s name instead of his, so he knew of the hold Dravon still held over Kirsikka.

“You used to not have a life outside of Dravon,” Mikhail casually mentioned, not at all concerned with questions thrown his way since he wasn’t under the influence of the potion. “You two used to be rather obsessed with one another. It seems one of you still is.” He will never forget how Dravon found his way onto Mikhail’s property.

“And you,” Drazhan spoke up, turning to Malina in an attempt to get the subject off of Kirsikka and Dravon, “do you regret any of what you did while with the Council of Light?” Well, now would be a good time to see if she truly did lose her faith with them. “Do you regret killing Sophia?”

Malina sent him a glare as he turned the questions on her, and even more so for the topic of the questions. “Yes,” she growled, crossing her arms over her chest. “I regret everything I’ve ever done with them, and I regretted those executions before they even happened.”
 
Kirsikka was not pleased for Mikhail’s addition, and wanted to deny it, but the tables turned on Malina, so she decided to ignore it. Keep the attention off of her – put it on Malina. That was fine by her, honestly. She had plenty of questions for Malina, as well, although she was pretty sure she knew the answers.

The fact Malina regretted everything was no surprise. That some of the regret was old was, perhaps, a bit of a surprise. Malina never seemed the regretting sort, having such faith that what she was doing was right.

“Why did you abandon the Ordo Sors, Malina?” Kirsikka asked, “what did the Council of Light give you that made you become such a vicious murderer of innocent people?” The Malina she remembered in the Ordo Sors hadn’t been vicious, not that she really remembered her well. She mostly knew Malina existed because she seemed to dislike Kirsikka.

That, and she happened to be Mikhail’s sister, and Kirsikka had been his friend – Malina had never really approached her, and she’d ignored Malina, until Malina decided to become a bitch, once Kirsikka finally figured magic out. Otherwise, Malina never stood out to her, until Malina left the Ordo Sors to become…well, basically, a murderous Inquisitor for the Council of Light. Then her general dislike of Malina became outright hatred.

“I remember you had a temper, but you were always so…well…withdrawn.” Hardly noticeable. Nothing special. Had it not been for Mikhail and Malina’s occasional outburst directed at her, Kirsikka probably wouldn’t have even known her name for the longest time.

Varick didn’t interject to put the subject back on Kirsikka. He didn’t know much about Malina, and finding out she had been with the Council of Light didn’t set well…so this line of questioning was fine by him.
 
Now Malina was the one who wanted to destroy the shield so she could walk away from this conversation and not answer the question. Mikhail and his damned impenetrable shields.

She sent Kirsikka a glare before shifting her gaze to the floor. She tried to hold back her answer, to say something else, but the truth gnawed on her mind and consumed her every thought. The truth serum wouldn’t allow her to stay silent. Oh Mikhail was going to pay for this.

“They made me feel special, the first ones to have ever done that.” She sounded so pathetic in her own ears. “The Ordo Sors always had a way of making me feel like I didn’t matter, or that I was a second thought. People always focused more on Mikhai, which I can never fault him for.” How could she blame her only family?

“And then he befriended you, and you had to be such a unique case, didn’t you?” She flickered her gaze at Kirsikka. “I was left in the shadows, no matter how hard I tried or how long I studied throughout the night. They made me believe that I’ll never be quite good enough, that there will always be something missing within me.” And she remained a bitter person for a while, even lashing out at Mikhal far too often.

“The Council of Light found me and told me of the great potential they saw within me. They were the only ones who believed in me. They were wanting to train me even beyond what Ordo Sors taught. All I had to do was help them spread their word and mission to the land.” And she blindly followed, thinking how could those who saw such potential in others inflict so much pain on the innocent?

For many years, she truly believed those she killed in their name did something truly vile to deserve it, and now she would be spending the rest of her living days trying to atone for those horrors.
 
Malina answered.

She had been a forsaken woman. A second-thought. A non-important person. Even Kirsikka couldn’t disagree; Malina was always in the shadow of Mikhail, where the Ordo Sors was concerned. If people knew her, it was because they knew Mikhail. It wasn’t just that Mikhail was prodigal in his own way, of course. Mikhail was amiable. He got along easily with anyone.

Even people who disliked Mikhail, usually respected him – the same couldn’t be said of Kirsikka.

Kirsikka didn’t work for it. She just was special. That wasn’t worth respecting, not like Mikhail’s case.

“Well, they weren’t wrong,” the words were damned, but Kirsikka allowed the unbidden truth to come from her lips, “you’re the only person who’s managed to survive an onslaught from me, when it was aimed right at them, you know.” Malina’s flame had managed to burn hot enough, and long enough, to shield her from the ice that should have killed her.

It killed all of her companions.

The Council of Light had been right about Malina’s potential – it was there. No one else had known how to unlock it. “At least now I don’t have to worry about that anymore. They’ll fall easily.”

“You really plan to destroy them?” Varick asked.

“That’s the entire reason I sought out the White Sun – I was certain that if I could prove their theology wrong, I could take them down. The White Sun is that proof. Not that I know how to convince the masses, but I’ll eventually see them all shattered at my feet,” physically or emotionally, she would destroy them.

Otherwise, this had all been for naught.
 

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