Realistic or Modern Not broken, just bent. [mxm]

[lavender.bones]

It still felt strange to rely on someone else to preform tasks that everyday people took for granted, Avery wasn't sure he'd ever get used to it fully. However, Ben helping him out still was way better than being twenty eight years old and relying on your Mother's assistance especially with showering.

The silence had become deafening quite abruptly between the two of them as Ben helped him wash his hair, and Avery couldn't contain his curiosity anymore on whether or not his old crush was in fact with someone else or not, Part of him hoped he wasn't, but the other part hoped that Ben had found happiness in his absence - it wasn't like he didn't deserve it.

"So, are you with anyone right now?" asked Avery curiously, not sure if he even wanted to know the answer. Either way, it needed to be asked and Avery had held off this long which was surprising in itself. He always had sort of been the jealous type, not that he'd admit it.

 

[ChayFrost]

Ben's hands froze in mid scrubbing of Avery's hair. He wondered when Avery would ask, and was surprised it took him this long. For a moment he completely forgot about everything else except them. But of course reality had to bite him in the ass.

Ben sighed and decided to be honest. "Yes. I'm...actually getting married in two months."

 

[lavender.bones]

That wasn't the answer that Avery wanted to hear, but at the same time Ben deserved happiness and he assumed if they were getting married in two months he certainly had to be happy, right? Avery had been in a relationship prior to the accident, but they'd only been dating for a month and the aftermath of the accident had scared him away. As if being bound to a wheelchair wasn't enough, but facing abandonment issues on top of it hadn't been fun and undeniably had contributed to Avery's depression in the months to follow.

"I see." Avery said finally, clearly not impressed by the answer that Ben had given him and not really caring if he seemed selfish or not. "Well, I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy." Avery lied through his teeth, chewing on his lip nervously.

He kind of hoped Ben wouldn't ask about his relationship, not wanting to have to admit that his ex had more or less just run off on him after the accident.

Not only was it embarrassing, but Avery's life seemed to be enough of a sob story at the moment. He wished he had good things to tell Ben, but that just wasn't really the case right now.

 

[ChayFrost]

"Thanks. Maybe if you actually stick around this time, you might actually meet Sebastion," Ben quipped, feeling the moment he said it.

Clearly the pent up anger was making itself known, but it wasn enough to shake Ben back to reality and the task at hand. Once he was done scrubbing the funk out of his hair, he rinsed the shampoo off then lathered up the bath sponge he found with soap.

"What about you? Did you leave someone heartbroken before coming back here?"

 

[lavender.bones]

"Fair enough." Avery shrugged, sensing the anger behind Ben's words though he couldn't blame him. He had been selfish when he'd left Springbrook, knowing full well that the last thing Ben expected was for Avery to pack up and leave like he had. "Is he good to you?" Avery asked, curiously figuring that Ben wouldn't be with someone who didn't treat him as he should.

It might have sounded like a stupid question, but he was genuinely curious or maybe just nosy.

"No, actually my ex left me after the accident." Avery shrugged all too nonchalantly, acting as if it didn't phase him when it reality everytime he thought about it he felt his heart sink into his stomach all over again. "We were only together a month, but I mean, it was just too much for him to deal with." Avery sighed, "Can't blame him though." In reality he could blame him, and he did but he didn't want Ben to think that he even still cared about someone who had simply run off on him just like that in his time of need.

Maybe it was his karma, one could potentially interpret it like that especially how Avery had been so careless when he'd abandoned Springbrook and Ben's feelings all those years ago now.

 

[ChayFrost]

"He does." Ben replied, which wasn't a complete lie. Sebastian was a nice guy and he knew Sebz loved him, but Ben wasn't sure if Sebastian was ready for a lifelong partner.

When Avery mentioned his ex abandoning him after the accident, my hand stopped it's circular motion as I was beginning to scrub his back. Avery may have shrugged it off like it was nothing, but Ben wasn't stupid. Anybody would've felt like shit having their partner leave him after something tragic like his accident.

"I'm sorry," Ben said softly, then continued scrubbing his back. "Nobody should feel abandoned, take it from me."

 

[lavender.bones]

"Listen, I know that I shouldn't have just up and left like that but I was young and arrogant." Avery sighed, knowing how much it had hurt Ben that he'd just up and left him like that. Even if it was years ago, he knew that he probably wasn't fully ready to forgive him - it wasn't something that was easily forgivable.

"I regret it everyday." he added a moment later, shaking his head shamefully. "Does he know you'e here?" Avery asked a moment later, raising an eyebrow at Ben. He assumed that he probably didn't, and he wouldn't be OK with Ben playing the caregiver role for one of his old flings. Then again, Avery wasn't exactly complaining at this point in time it was probably the kick in the ass that he needed to get going.

"I assume he doesn't, I mean, I wouldn't be OK with this if I were him." Avery smirked.

 

[ChayFrost]

"Let's just forget about it, okay? It's over and I've moved on. And no, he doesn't know yet but I do plan to tell him. I don't keep anything from him. He's working hard right now. He's a lawyer, by the way." Ben commented, rinsing Avery off once he was done scrubbing him clean.

At least now Avery no longer smelled like a foot. After draining the water, Ben grabbed a towel and lifted Avery out of the tub and was now drying him off.

It was almost like having Avery in his arms again. Once upon a time, the Ben from ten years ago would've relished the idea of looking after Avery. He always expected he would. Now, it just felt like a slap in the face.

 

[lavender.bones]

"A lawyer, huh?" Avery questioned, raising an eyebrow once again at Ben curiously. Well he definetly wasn't going to be able to compete with a lawyer, but then again why was he even thinking that way? He and Ben had been over a long time ago, but he still couldn't help but feel nostalgic being around him after all this time. There was still a what if in the back of Avery's mind, what if he actually managed to get better from this and he and Ben could try their relationship again?

He forced himself to stop thinking about such things, he knew it was ridiculous to even think that Ben would give him another chance after he'd broken his heart by leaving so suddenly last time when he had a chance to be with him.

"Thanks." Avery muttered, grabbing the towel from Ben to better dry his hair, "You didn't have to, but I'd prefer your help over my Mother helping to shower me anyday." Avery added, rolling his eyes.
"The woman means well, but my god she gets on my last nerve most days.."

 

[ChayFrost]

Despite the tension Ben felt, he still grinned at that last comment while running the towel through Avery's damp hair.

"Well someone had to look after you. Lord only knows you can barely look after yourself when you were able to walk." Ben rolled his eyes. "Now wait here and I'll get some clothes from your room."

He sat Avery in his wheelchair before heading into his room. A sense of dejavu washed over him the minute he stepped inside. Many days spent here in this room. Maybe nights he snuck in here to spend the night and fool around.

Focus, gotta focus.

Ben closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath then rummaged his drawers for fresh clothes. He pulled out a pair of basketball shorts, boxers, then laughed when he went through Avery's shirts and found one with Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians on the front. The shirt was actually Ben's but he let Avery borrow after a very intimate night, and never got it back. He grabbed it and headed back into the bathroom to help dress up Avery.

 

[lavender.bones]

"Oh come on who are you kidding, I always looked my best before this happened." Avery rolled his eyes once more not being able to resist. It still felt so strange not being able to do the things that he'd taken for granted before, but until he stopped wallowing in his own self pity this was likely how things were going to stay. Ben was the kick in the ass that he needed, but with getting married in two months was he really going to be able to come around all the time? Avery doubted it, but he was still hopeful of the idea.

"You would grab that shirt." Avery laughed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes and instead simply shook his head at the shirt that he'd never given back.

That shirt had memories behind it there was no way that Ben was ever getting it back, he was pretty sure that he already knew that though. "Remember that night?" Avery asked, raising an eyebrow at Ben. "I know I do." he added a moment later, as his cheeks flushed. Oh man, they had so many memories together how could Avery be so arrogant and just abandon everything all those years ago? He'd likely never forgive himself for that, but atleast he was talking to Ben again .. there was that.

 

[ChayFrost]

Ben's expression darkened as his mind flashed to that night.

"I remember," Ben muttered.

That was an understatement. Ben remembered it perfectly. It was the night surrendered his virtue to Avery. It was the most important night of his life, not just because he lost his virginity, but because he knew there would be no going back. It was when he started falling in love.

Love...a declaration he never had the chance to give Avery before he left.

Before Ben could say anything else, his cell phone started vibrating. When he pulled it out his eyes widened at the sight of Sebastian's name on the caller ID.

"I'll be back, I have to take this," Ben said, exiting the bathroom and stepped into the kitchen to take the call.

 

[lavender.bones]

"Yeah, I could never forget that night." mused Avery, his mind wandering back to that point in time briefly. It had definetly been the most important night of Avery's life, too. It was also a reminder of how selfish he was packing up his things and leaving so abruptly, especially because it hadn't been too long after that night when he'd packed up and left Springbrook all those years ago.

The sound of Ben's phone vibrating brought Avery back to reality as he noticed Ben's eyes widened as he looked at his phone, he assumed it was probably his fiance and he likely wouldn't be thrilled to find out where Ben was at that point in time. "No worries." Avery replied, pulling the Jack Frost shirt over his head before moving onto his boxers and basketball shorts which proved to be a bit more of a struggle but he managed.

He knew at this point that he needed Ben back in his life to give him the drive and inspiration that he needed to quite literally get back on his feet, though he wasn't sure if that would actually be possible. The last thing he wanted to do was cause tension and drama for Ben, but at the same time Avery was still selfish and the idea of having Ben back in his life seemed too good to pass up.

He'd just have to see how things played out he supposed, but the nostaglia that he felt was something that wasn't going to be easy to let go of.

 

[ChayFrost]

"Hello?" Ben called out when he reached the kitchen and answered the phone.

"Hey honey, how was work?" Sebastian responded, and from the sounds of it, he was still in his office. Yep, he truly forgot.

Ben frowned. "It was fine. Thanks for picking me up, by the way."

Silence sounded, then came Sebastian's groan a few seconds after. "Shit, honey. I'm so sorry, I've just been-"

"Busy with work?" Ben finished for him, hearing that excuse often.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Benjamin. I promise I'll-"

"Make it up to me?" Ben cut in again. It was really sad how often they've had this exact conversation.

More silence. "Ben..." Sebastian called my name like it was painful.

"It's fine, Sebz."

"No, it's not. I really do want to make it up to you. How about we go out of town for a fancy dinner tomorrow night? I'll leave work early, I can leave my work phone at home, and it can be just the two of us with no distractions."

Now this was something new. "That sounds nice, but are you sure you'll be able to leave work early tomorrow?"

"For my future husband, I'll do it," Sebastian said sounding determined.

Now there was the glimpse of the man Ben had grown fond of over the past 6 months. Maybe there was hope afterall?"

"Okay, but you better keep up your end of the bargain." Ben warned him.

Sebastian chuckled. "Promise. Now, what are you up to? Are you at your apartment?"

And there was the question Ben was dreading. "No I'm actually looking after someone. It's a long story. I'll tell you when you stop by my place after work."

"Sounds ominous. Is everything okay?"

Ben sighed. "Not really, but I'll give you the details later."

"Okay, as long as you're okay."

"I will be, but I should get going."

"Okay, well be careful and I'll see you tonight."

"Sounds good. Bye," Ben said then hung up the call. Ben always felt obligated to say "I love you," but he never did. Funny how they planned to exchange wedding vows but they never used the L word. How pathetic was that.

 

[lavender.bones]

Avery did his best to try to eavesdrop on the conversation knowing full well that it was probably Ben's fiance calling him, though he only heard bits and pieces of what Ben was saying he found it odd when he didn't say that he loved him before hanging up the phone.

He glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and despite being clean now, he still looked like hell. How could he have let himself get this bad? Well, he supposed it was easy when you got to the point where you just didn't care about anything anymore.

 

[ChayFrost]

Ben sighed and made his way back into the bathroom, dealing with the task at hand. "Okay big guy, let's get you settled somewhere until your parents come back. As "fun" as this had been, I do have to get going soon."

By the time Ben left Avery's house he was bone tired, feeling like he worked a double shift. He planned on stopping by his father's bookshop on his way to work the next morning. There were a few things he'd need for research if he had any hopes of helping Avery walk. He already worked it with Avery's parents that Ben can schedule Avery for physical therapy. He'd be able to have access to Avery's medical records to see the damage, and figure out the best system that would help. It would take a lot of time, and a lot of hard work, but Ben was sure Avery wanted his life back so he could go back to wherever the hell he's been for ten years.

It was close to eleven at night, when there was a knock on Ben's door. When he opened it, Sebastian greeted him with a smile, still in his business suit. Which meant he worked late...again.

"Hey, honey," Sebastian leaned forward and kissed Ben on the cheek.

Ben returned the gesture and stepped aside for Sebastian to come in. "Hey. Another late night?"

Sebastian set his briefcase and jacket on my couch before following me into the kitchen so I could feed him some leftover dinner I made. "Yeah, I've been stuck on this one case, and it's been kicking my ass."

"What is it?" I asked, fixing him a plate and heating it up in the microwave.

"You know I can't tell you that, but it's a pain."

"I don't envy you," Ben chuckled, setting the plate in front of Sebz, then fixed us both a glass of wine.

Sebastian chuckled. "What about you? What happened?"

Rather than lie, Ben decided to just outright tell him about Avery. How he's back in town and wheelchair bound, how he helped him out today and decided to take him as a client. Sebz listened attentively, unphased by my words. When I was done, he took another sip of wine before speaking.

"And how are you holding up with seeing him after all this time? Are you okay?"

A good question. Was Ben okay? He wasn't a hundred percent sure. "I think so. I mean, it was hard to process anything other than seeing him in a fucking wheelchair. Out of everything that could've happened to him in the ten years since he left, this was something I didn't expect. I was so heartbroken for him."

Sebz nodded in agreement. "I can't imagine what must be going through his mind. Do you think he'll be able to walk again?"

Ben shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I hope so."

"And what about you? You said you'll be taking him on as a client. Will you be able to see him everyday and not think about what happened?"

I found it strange that he was more concerned about how I'd feel having him back in my life, and not over the fact that I'd be spending everyday with an ex who wasn't even an ex to begin with. Sebz knew I was in love with him, but he didn't seem bothered or jealous. Did he trust me to behave around him? I was both grateful and a little annoyed that he didn't seem to care. Oh well, I took as him trusting me which I greatly appreciated.

"I'll be fine, I'm over him. I just want to help him get his life back so he get out of mine again," Ben said bitterly, unsure if he meant what he said but he'd worry about that later.

 

[lavender.bones]

"I appreciate your help, really, I do." said Avery, as his dull green eyes wandered back to Ben once more. This was the last thing he'd expected to happen today, but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. He knew he probably shouldn't think too much into it, but he couldn't help it. What were the chances that he'd end up seeing Ben again after his selfish mistake and after all this time?

After Ben left he'd decided he was tired and managed to get himself into bed with a little effort - he wasn't completely helpless, just stubborn mostly. Avery lay in bed for a long time staring at the ceiling and letting his mind drift to different things, playing out scenario's of what might have happened if he'd stayed, if the accident never happened, etc. It almost hurt to think about, and with that he forced his mind to think about something else.

Eventually he'd fallen asleep and hadn't even woke when his Mother had opened the door to check in on him, surprised when he was asleep she gently closed the door behind her. She was thankful that Ben had dropped by, and hoped that she'd see more of him. Taking care of Avery was exhausting for her, and she'd thought about hiring other help but Avery seemed so dead set against it that she'd left that idea alone for the time being.

 

[ChayFrost]

The next day, Ben talked with his boss about taking in Avery as a client. After talking with Avery's mother and his doctor, everything was set. Now that Ben had access to Avery's file, he had a better idea on what he was dealing with. He kept replaying the events of yesterday like a film, from the open Avery called, to seeing him in the flesh and in a wheelchair, and noticing the familiar spark that had always been there.

Sebz question last night came back to him. Could he handle seeing Avery as a client and want nothing more from him? Ben sounded sure when he said yes, but this was Avery he was talking about. Since they were kids, Ben always knew Avery was "the one" for him. He was the love of Ben's life, someone Ben would do anything for.

Until Avery threw all of that away...

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Ben went on with his usual work routine. Five pm couldn't have come fast enough. Ben clocked out, hoping to that Sebz would remember to pick him up this time. He got to the front of the shop, and...no such luck. Ben wasn't sure what came over him, but he pulled out his phone and texted an angry text to his future husband before storming off in the direction of his father's bookshop. It took thirty minutes longer to get there, but he finally made it. Ben needed research material if he had any hope of getting Avery back on his feet and back out of his life where he belonged.

Ben only hoped he was strong enough to see to it that it happened sooner rather than later.

 

[lavender.bones]

Avery woke the next day in a considerably better mood than he had been in months, and no doubt that was due to the unexpected presence of Ben. He couldn't deny that he missed him, and how it seemed like nothing had really changed between the two of them despite the distance and Avery's selfish ways which had tore them away from one another. Seeing Ben again seemed to give him a new sense of hope, one that he had seriously been lacking for in the months since the accident that had happened. He began to wonder now if it were possible that maybe he could get better and walk again, he supposed just about anything was possible depending on how much effort you were willing to put in.

Up until this point Avery had been putting little to none forward, instead he found himself wallowing in self pity and feeling sorry for himself which was not exactly productive behavior. He had always been a fighter, but you wouldn't have realized it by looking at his current state after he'd survived the accident it seemed whatever fight Avery had left in him had diminished.

"You seem like you're in a better mood, is it because of Ben?" asked his Mother as he left his room and approached the kitchen table for breakfast, noting that he'd actually managed to get out of bed before noon hour which was quite surprising in itself. "Might have something to do with it." Avery shrugged, wheeling himself towards the kitchen table and taking a drink of orange juice. "I've just been thinking a lot, maybe I could walk again." Avery shrugged, his eyes wandering over to his Mother.

"That's what I like to hear." she said, smiling as she brought over a plate of breakfast setting it down in front of Avery. "I knew you still had some fight left in you, Av." she added a moment later, sitting down at the table across from him. "Is Ben coming by today?"

"I'm not too sure, I haven't talked to him since yesterday." said Avery, picking at his eggs with his fork and debating whether or not he should text Ben.

 

[ChayFrost]

Ben was in the middle of documenting the stages of spinal injuries and the recovery process of each when the sound of SHINee's "Ring Ding Dong" sounded from his phone. That meant he got a text or a call from Avery. Ben chuckled thinking back to when he would dance to that song nonstop back when they were kids.

Funny how some things could change but other stuff stays the same.

It was a text asking if he would come over today. Clearly Ben wasn't going to see Sebz for the rest of the evening so he might as well. Ben placed the books back on the shelves, waved his father goodbye and jogged over to Avery's place. Earbuds on and was jamming out to Ring Ding Dong on repeat.

 

[lavender.bones]

Avery was somewhat relieved when Ben said he'd be coming over again today, part of him wondered how his boyfriend felt about the situation. Even though there was nothing going on between the two of them, Avery couldn't make a promise that he wouldn't get caught up in his feelings again. The two had spent just a couple hours together the day before, and already the memories seemed to be flooding back of the days when the two of them had been practically inseparable.

"I've got to head to work, I'll leave the door unlocked for Ben." said Avery's Mother as she scooped her keys off of the counter, and kissed Avery on the forehead before heading out the door. Avery's stepfather had left hours ago, he worked a steady construction job and had been doing a considerable amount of overtime lately.

"I'll see you later." said Avery, still sluggishly picking away at his breakfast.

 

[ChayFrost]

Ben made it to Avery's place, knocking on the door before testing the knob and seeing it was unlocked. He slowly opened the door and peaked inside.

"Ave? You in here?" Ben called out, pulling off his earbuds. His KPOP tracks blaring loudly through them still.

He stepped inside closing the door behind himself and went in search of Avery.

 

[lavender.bones]

Avery had decided he was done with his breakfast and was just scraping off his plate when he'd heard the door open, assuming it was Ben he set his plate in the sink and wheeled himself towards the door. "Yeah, I'm here." said Avery, his dull green eyes moving to study Ben. "I'm glad you decided to come by." he added a moment later, realizing just how thankful he was for Ben's company.

He seemed to have discovered a new found sense of hope, maybe having finally grown tired of wallowing in his own pity - it did tend to become tiresome after a while.