Other Kitchen failures

[Gladius]

I tried making a pancake from memory. Turns out my memory wasn't very good.


I used up half of the eggs in the house (I got scared at the weird colour and kept throwing in more eggs), a shitload of milk, far too much flour, and ended up with a frying pan full of dog sick.


I'll stick to omelettes.

 

[Raeny]

It's not exactly my blunder (since I personally don't do much kitchen work) but I once saw my dad burn- he literally set fire to it on the stove -an egg when I was younger... to this day I still wonder how he managed to do that. It left a pretty huge black scorch mark on our ceiling too. lol

 

[Imnothere]

I wanted a poached egg one day and decided I was too lazy to do it the proper way on the stove. So I used the wonderful and ever true internet to look up new ingenious ways to create a poached egg. Apparently you can microwave them and poach them.


So I tried. Did its time in the microwave and when I opened the door it exploded everywhere! Like there were cooked egg guts everywhere. Worst thing ever.

 

[cupidcreep]

Tried to make banana pancakes. Usually they go okay, but I decided to spice things up a little bit by adding some cocoa powder. We had no cocoa powder so I used hot chocolate mix.


When I put the mixture into the pan it spurted everywhere and ruined the pan. Don't know how it did but I'm not going to be making hot chocolate powder banana pancakes again.

 

[Volarit]

So it's my birthday today and decided to make myself a birthday cake because, well, cake!


I followed the recipe to the letter, yet after the allotted time was up and I went to check it the batter was still quite goopy.


I left it for another 10 minutes, came back and was greeting by a smoking oven and a smouldering briquette.


Another reason for me to stay away from the oven! T_T

 

[Vivification]

It wasn't my failure, but my entire family makes fun of my sister for being generally bad at cooking. How bad?


Well, considering that she burned two kitchen cabinets down when boiling water, bad enough.

 

[tetraboo]

I once decided to try and make the blue box mac and cheese on my own (the kind that goes on the stove) and I read through the ingredients, took everything out, turned on the stove, etc. I didn't read the DIRECTIONS though so i just poured everything at once into the pot... I let it cook and then when I went to get a bowl it was a huge watery yellowy looking mess. Idk why I thought I was just supposed to throw it all in together. Then I called my grandmother to come check it because she's our family cook. She was like "what did you do???" And then it turned out the mac and cheese was like seven years old so I wasted cooking ingredients on that...


My parent's don't cook often and tend to forget about food and stuff so it spoils and rots and ew. This happened at their house when we moved and my grandmother was watching my sister (and me because I obviously need looking after O.o ). At least I tried, hahaha!

 

[Azathoth]

Once I tried to make macarons.. Purple ones.. I don't know how, but instead of being macaron-looking, they were just flat.. They tasted pretty good, though..


Once my mom's cousin and I decided it was a great idea to melt marshmallows in the Microwave.. I'll just say right now that no, it was not the best idea.. It exploded!


I'm a pretty bad cook and my mother is even worse.. So when my step-father [aka. the cook] is out of town, I have to make dinner or we'll have bread as dinner.. xD


I was once gonna eat the rest of some feta cheese and garlic.. It turned out it had been there for a while and had gotten moldy.. It was sad.. I've also found molded pineapples, apples, potatoes, bananas.. Basically my family is very good at leaving food..


Once I was cleaning a stove, I burnt my finger..


I can't remember anything more right now.. x'D


Ohhhh.. Once my dad and I were making waffles and he had blue food color in it and it was pretty cool.. The next time I visited my dad, about a month later, we decided to make waffles again.. He fired up the waffle iron and.. I was in the living room and heard strange noises from the kitchen.. I was pretty sure my dad was dying.. xD


Turns out he had forgotten the last blue waffle in the iron the last time.. And it had been heated and it smelled preeeetty bad.. He threw outside and it stayed there for at least half a year, before he threw it away.. x'D

 

[Ch3rryBlossom28]

Well today I was in a rush to make food before class. Being out of actual food for a few days I went to go make the microwavable Mac and cheese and I ended up forgetting to put the water in the cup. Not even a minute later my roommates and I smell something burning. The cup and dry noodles ended up catching fire. My roommates and I were quick to put it out. One went to fan the smoke detector the other ran to open the door and I was in charge of throwing water into the microwave. There was so much smoke that came out....I ended up using a vase and filled it twice to make sure it was out.  hours later with fans running and all the windows open It still smells terrible. Lesson learned. Never make micwavable food when you're in a rush/starving.

 

[Twist]

When making lunch (for once) put some toast in the toaster and then Bam! Toaster blew. Last time I try to help out 

 

[Verena]

I remembered a couple of months ago when I was making an experiment soup, I put almost every kind of vegetable in it that I had on hand because I just wanted to get rid of it: tomatoes, potatoes, zucchini, bell peppers, champignons, carrots, onions and garlic. And as expected, the pot just wasn't big enough to have all this put in it, including water. It was a thick tasteless burnt "soup" and even though my ex liked it, I threw it out the next day. What a waste of ingredients.

 

[chesirekitten]

When I was around 6 or 7 I tried to make a cake for one of my family members for their birthday....... At the time I was the only one up (and since I wasn't very old I had basically no idea what to do) so I grabbed a bunch of stuff from the cupboards....


My parents 'lovingly' look back on it and call it the molasses cake.... ¬¬

 

[Lemon Boy]

I once tried to make the most simple recipe ever, flapjacks, and somehow managed to fuck it up epically.


I have no idea what I did wrong, but instead of sticking together, it stayed separate and was basically just a bunch of sweetened honey oats. 


Instead of making some yummy, gooey flapjacks, I made some form of cereal instead. 

 

[Maybe Whiskey]

I was making a couple of eggs with liquid egg whites mixed in (more protein, less cholesterol) and the roomie walks up to watch. Her kids say that I'm good at flipping eggs. Half asleep, I go ahead and flip it anyway even though it isn't anywhere near ready. A quarter of it lands on the stove and the rest becomes a huge awkward pile.


She promised never to interrupt me again while I'm cooking after that.

 

[Verena]

Once I tried making toast with some leftover bread, which at the time I cleverly decided to put directly on the stove top still hot from the previous cooking. It ended up activating the smoke alarm and me getting busted since cooking inside the dorm is forbidden.


After my exams had passed, I went back to my parents' for two months. When I returned, I discovered I had forgotten how to cook basic stuff, which resulted in mushy paste-like spaghetti and later rice, as well as burnt fried eggs.

 

[The Gunrunner]

Think I've got one.
For a high-school project we were going to make a presentation on a civilization of choice. There were a lot of different ways to present them, and it was encouraged for you to do something extra along with it (show era-appropriate music, make food from the time, etc.) I was going to do food with my presentation.

One was something called "Gihalbert Aire" or something - Basically deviled eggs. The other was 'crispels,' which is just fried pastry dough with some honey.

When I get in, no one wants to try my food. They don't trust me for shit, and I'm not selling it well when I say that the crispels are still a bit raw in the middle. One person who came in late tries the egg things, and raw egg runs down his chin. My advertising abilities truly shined when I stated the obvious: "Oh. I guess I didn't finish cooking that one."
Presentation was good though.

 

[Tove]

I have gotten biscuits to charred perfection once.....maybe twice. Tried to make popcorn on the stove ended up burning a hole through the pot and making the popcorn crispy burnt to a taste.

 

[Simon_Hawk]

When I was younger I took some ears of corn from the cornfield next door and placed them in the microwave because I thought that was how you made popcorn. Boy was I wrong. The ears of corn blackened and burst into flames filling half the house with black corn-smoke.

 

[Simon_Hawk]

I wanted a poached egg one day and decided I was too lazy to do it the proper way on the stove. So I used the wonderful and ever true internet to look up new ingenious ways to create a poached egg. Apparently you can microwave them and poach them.


So I tried. Did its time in the microwave and when I opened the door it exploded everywhere! Like there were cooked egg guts everywhere. Worst thing ever.

OMG, I did the same darn thing! lmao, those eggs sure do explode XD

 

[Achillea]

My kitchen failure is pretty dumb:
I usually make my brownies from scratch because we don't get the boxed mixes here but I got cravings.
So when a local store finally sold one I decided "yes, I can be lazy and still have chocolate goodness"
I bought it, went home and took out a silicon teddy bear shaped mold for the batter (I honestly don't know why, chances are it's the first I could find)
Well, I mix the batter together and the consistency seems weird but whatever, right, this is just how it is
But when I pull out the thing out of the oven and put it on a rack to cool, I notice that the dough hadn't properly filled out the shape and warped the sweet little bear.... into Satan.
My roommate found me on the kitchen floor chocking on my laughter because instead of brownies it looked like a failed summoning ritual.

I realised later I forgot to add water. Out of three ingredients one needs to add, I somehow managed to forget one.

 

[Corrosion]

Making cupcakes during Food and Nutrition (pretty much cooking with science) lessons in school. Accidentally touched the top of the oven with my gloves and set them on fire. I panicked and dropped the entire tray, which hit the glass window and shattered it. Then I tripped over a chair and fell onto a bag of flour, which went all over the place. And then a bottle of syrup fell over and spilled all over my shirt. At least I didn't suffer any major injuries other than a singed right hand.

Yep.

 

[Achillea]

Making cupcakes during Food and Nutrition (pretty much cooking with science) lessons in school. Accidentally touched the top of the oven with my gloves and set them on fire. I panicked and dropped the entire tray, which hit the glass window and shattered it. Then I tripped over a chair and fell onto a bag of flour, which went all over the place. And then a bottle of syrup fell over and spilled all over my shirt. At least I didn't suffer any major injuries other than a singed right hand.

Yep.

I feel bad for liking this but at the same time it's kind of too amazing not to
Sorry not sorry?

 

[Corrosion]

I feel bad for liking this but at the same time it's kind of too amazing not to
Sorry not sorry?

Meh, not as bad as the time I destroyed my microwave by nuking four eggs with it.

 

[Achillea]

Is there a part of your kitchen that is currently not in flames

 

[Corrosion]

No.