Other Kitchen failures

[SerenityAlec]

Curry. Vomit-smelling curry. My one and only attempt at making it, as I ended up gagging after one bite. Definitely need to hone up my skills in Middle Eastern cooking.

 

[IG42]

Two cases spring to mind


First was when some of the random crumbs and stuff that end up in the bottom of the toaster caught fire. Thankfully i simply blew it out before trying to dump water on the toaster without unplugging it.


Second was the time we had the entire family at the table for Sunday lunch and everyone except me was putting gravy on their food, the jug got round just about the whole table before someone noticed they'd accidentally grabbed the rather similar looking toffee sauce instead.

 

[adrian_]

Ah, Cooking, something i can't do for the life of me.


I'll just consult Emile and see if he will... Oh he escaped.

 

[CoconutLeaves]

In general, my cooking fails. While they're edible they often have a flavor of blandness.


But cookies, cookies are my worst weakness. They become this mess of unappealing blobs that never stood a chance.

 

[Muffinboi]

Confusing baking powder for baking soda, and vice versa. That's happened to me multiple times.

 

[KayVegas]

Dropped a entire box of flour onto the floor...


dropped a hot pan on my arm (still have a faint scar there)


served undercooked crab cakes... D:


Yep I cook a lot.


I think I'm better at it now.

 

[Ballerina]

I'm actually a pretty good cook, but my cooking mishap was adding a bananna to the peanut butter oatmeal cookies, it tasted awful and only lasted for 2 days. :I

 

[Jessica14]

i forgot fork in microwave and it wasnt funny really

 

[LegoLad659]

I think the worst I've ever done is probably dropping two glass bowls onto the floor, from the same cabinet, two hours apart from each other. As well as a glass measuring cup on the same day xD


The most prominent one I've witnessed is probably when my mom managed to blow up the (Again, glass) pie plate by setting it on the cold counter right after pulling it out of the oven. I think that's how it went down, anyway.


Other than those, my kitchen life has been pretty tame. Probably because I don't usually cook a lot, but still.


Edit: Yes, it did literally explode. As in, we found shards of glass from the explosion on the other side of the room. I was the only one in there at the time, really glad I didn't get hurt at all.

 

[Servant]

So a couple of weeks ago I decided to prepare myself some crab sticks. According to the instructions I had to add a drop of oil into the pan, but silly me I covered the whole thing with oil. After the oil began boiling I threw in one crab stick and the second it came into contact with the oil a column of fire suddenly rose from the frying pan. I threw the frying pan into the water-filled sink and attempted to save Pvt.Crab Stick the second the flames had dozed off. He didn't make it. Later that day I held a burial service in honor of the private. The ceremony consisted of me throwing him into the trashcan and eating his well-cooked brothers. They were delicious.


Rest in peace Private Crab Stick, you won't be forgotten.

 

[sorrow made you]

So it wasn't necessarily my doing, but my bf and I were making fried chicken in a deep-dish pan on the stove. When he put in the chicken, it made the oil overflow. After a couple minutes, the stove caught on fire under the white metal stop cover. >_>;; It was kind of scary to see three stovetops on fire.

 

[soular]

I don't remember what I was cooking, but it created so much smoke that it set off the smoke alarm. Now I was at home with my parents and the smoke alarm was connected to the alarm system, so when it went of it sent an alert to the local fire department. Of course, I didn't know this, nor did I know the code to turn of the annoying beeping, so I just continued with my cooking and figured I'd wait til my parents got home so that they could tell me the code and turn it off. 2 minutes later, 2 firetrucks show up and 3 cop cars and I was outside telling them about how there was no fire and I was just cooking and I only don't know the code and emergency word because I didn't live there full time.


Needless to say I felt like a total asshole for completely wasting their time.

 

[Mayhem]

This isn't actually a "kitchen failure", it's more of a "tired college student" failure. Once I stayed till 4am working on this animation project, and at 7am I'm FINALLY done. I go to the kitchen were my family has already gathered (they are like chirpy morning birds and I'm a cranky night owl). So picture this: me in my pjs and a pink bathrobe wrapped in a cocoon of sheets (my house is fucking cold), ugly dark circles under my eyes, and a "dont-talk-to-me-face".


I walk in the kitchen, barely even say hello to my parents and sisters, and I go to grab a mug to prepare my coffee. My family watches as the painful process of making coffee while half-asleep, and balancing a cocoon of sheets starts. With cranky confidence I put the mug inside the microwave to heat the water, and don't even bother to acknowledge the awkward silence in the kitchen. After 2 minutes of me standing in front of the microwave like a angry-tired statue, the microwave finally does it's beep beep thing.


I take out the mug and go to grab the sugar and the coffee. BUT...then it hits me and I finally understand: what my family has known ALL ALONG, and what I missed in my sleepy deprived state. The mug is fucking EMPTY. I forgot to put the water in the mug. I REPEAT: I forgot the put the water in the mug. I STOOD 2 MINUTES IN FRONT OF THE MICROWAVE WATCHING AN EMPTY MUG GET WARM. My family KNOWS and I know. Defeated and utterly humiliated I put the mug away, and grumble a soft "Too tired. I don't deserve coffee" before I leave the kitchen in shame.


Moral of the story: be nice to your family no matter how tired you are, otherwise they'll watch you make an ass out of yourself AND THEY'LL PROBABLY ENJOY IT.

 

[MISTER UN. 0W3N]

There's a few I have... from my family.


1) My mom made fried chicken using frosted corn flakes.


2) My sister thinks measuring solids and liquids are interchangeable. Some of her dessert dishes don't make it pass baking.


3) My mom regularly forgets the steps in her cookie recipe, leaving them too thick and dry or too thin and dry.


4) My brother... has a girlfriend that cooks for him (and she's hella good).


5) The one time I return home to cook for my family ended with them forgetting they were boiling water... for nearly a day. The pot was destroyed with a hole at the bottom.


6) My boyfriend's brother and cooking... destroyed all of my equipment I ever bought. At least I got a cast iron pan out of him.


For me:


1) There's a pot with a collapsible handle. It wound up collapsing while I was holding it with boiling hot water in it...and it went down my front. I learned the hard way that the pot has a collapsible handle.


2) I used purple ketchup in a pork chop recipe. It was tasty... but no one ate it because it was purple.


3) My first time baking a cake from scratch. I over folded the cake and added dry and wet into the same bowl. Least my cakes are getting better now.


4) I can't decorate cookies to save my life.

 

[Saccharine Cyanide]

Not my kitchen slip-up, but my sister's. One time she swapped the measurements for sugar and salt in a batch of chocolate chip cookies.


I still ate most of them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Keyfall]

I was in a rush so I fixed some noodles really quickly and when I went to grab them I tipped the cup over and spilled it all over my hand. It blistered pretty badly and I spent a couple of weeks dealing with a burnt hand. Even to this day the top of my hand still has a bunch of dark spots from where it never healed right.

 

[DAngelo]

Does putting something in a toaster or microwave count as cooking? If so, then I am a gourmet chef.

 

[Silverthorn]

I recall one time when I was younger and at a friends house, we went to microwave some macaroni and cheese, container said to put it in for 4 minutes...and we somehow put it in for 40 minutes. Then we went and played some Halo, totally forgot about it for half an hour, then we remembered. Needless to say, we did not have macaroni and cheese that day.

 

[I I I I I]

When I was little, I'd attempt to make pancakes every morning. I always failed!





I was a persistent little nincompoop.

 

[Verena]

[QUOTE="I I I I I]
When I was little, I'd attempt to make pancakes every morning. I always failed!
I was a persistent little nincompoop.

[/QUOTE]
How do you manage to fail at pancakes? xD They're like thick watered down fried omelettes...

 

[I I I I I]

@Vulcan || Apparently, two cups of milk was too difficult a concept for eight-year-old me to grasp. I poured in way more than I needed.

 

[Zylia]

A few months ago, I was cooking on my shiny new glass top stove. I got too into the episode of Supernatural I was half-watching and let sugary water boil over onto the stove top... and it took me literally hours to get it off. I scrubbed so much, my arms were sore! Tried a million different tips to remove burnt on sugar and nothing worked but elbow grease.

 

[AlbaGuBrath]

Once I was trying to bake a potato in the microwave (super chef skills) and I accidentally forgot it was in there and it turned into a rock. I gave it to my dog and she carried it around with her for days until she lost it or buried it or something. She never ate it (to my knowledge) but she was sure proud of it.


Another time I was trying to make one of those Chef Boyardee pizzas, but thought the dough was too wet and added some flour to make it right... Yeah, I ended up with this pizza-cake nearly two inches thick. I don't remember attempting pizza since then.

 

[azzie]

I did not know what creaming butter and sugar was. I was 25 at the time. I'm sure both my grandmothers rolled over in their graves at that one.

 

[Twigdapple]

I tried heating up an arbys sandwich in the microwave. With the aluminium still wrapped around it.