Experiences How do you recognize you're losing interest in a roleplay?

[apolla]

And secondly, kinda related, what makes you lose interest in a roleplay?

It happens to everyone. You're on board for a roleplay, and then maybe life happens. Maybe something else. Maybe you're not as compatible with someone as you thought, or maybe they just bring in something way the hell out of left field. So what makes you lose interest (whether you ghost or not) and how do you recognize that it's happening?

For me, a few things make me lose interest.

1. Life. This is the biggest one that I bet just about everyone can understand. Life LOVES throwing curveballs at people! For example, last August I found out my husband cheated on me, and I had to end my marriage. That was a hella curveball, and for a month or so I just wasn't in the mood to roleplay. But I bounced back, obviously.
2. No OOC chatter. I prefer talking OOC and making friends. I get that some people don't, but for me, if I can connect with my partner then the RP has a better chance of lasting.
3. Discord RPs. Dunno why, I just never get into them.
4. Short and/or half assed responses. Generally, I put my all into a response and I can tell when someone didn't even try. It irritates the hell out of me.
5. This is a big one: BEING A SELFISH PRICK. If we're doubling, I expect you to place equal attention to both of your characters. I also expect you to NOT just focus on your female, or make her the center of the roleplay. Had this happen on here, and it both pissed me off and made me sad because the person was a great writer. Just selfish as hell and killed any chances of us RPing in the future.

I'm sure there are other things, but those are the ones I thought of now.

As far as how I recognize I'm losing interest...

1. Making excuses to not reply. "I've been busy" "work's been crazy" etc. And really, the only person who knows that these are excuses is me, and yes, it makes me feel a little bad.
2. Kinda goes along with #1, but ghosting. I'll admit that I do this, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. It's a big controversy on this site (and elsewhere, I'd assume) but I try to be honest about it.
3. Not opening the message after like, a week. I don't always open a message right when I get it, because then I might forget about it. But if a week or so goes by and I haven't opened it yet, I might be losing interest.
4. Searching for new RPs. I have a bad habit of getting into too many at once, especially with groups.

 

[Tove]

Life is biggest thing for me. It comes before anything roleplay related. Usually I have no issues with pulling out replies if I have something major in real life I want to distract myself from by writing it's just time and work and being married that will take me away.

Me feeling like I'm doing all the work. If I have a plot, introduce a world and some characters, I'm looking to have input to feel as if I'm invested as much as a partner. You can tell how much someone is invested by their PM responses. "Yeah, I like that." "Sure." By that point I'm out.

I don't mind waiting for responses if you let me know something. Waiting weeks or months, no word, is a quick way for my interest to decline that and pestering me hours after I've posted when I'll post again.

Forced romance. I'm playing the male character there's interest in developing the plot however the plot takes a background place to the female character doing everything she can to get my character interested in hers romantically. I prefer to let any romance coming up play out naturally rather than a few posts in the characters are in love.

I guess the number one thing I'll notice when I'm losing interest is I stop caring. I'm not invested in the characters. I will put the roleplay on the side or any effort will have dried up completely.

 

[AnimeGenork]

1. Making excuses to not reply. "I've been busy" "work's been crazy" etc. And really, the only person who knows that these are excuses is me, and yes, it makes me feel a little bad.

*ahem*
I does that

On a more serious note, I know for a fact I'm losing interest when I realize that I'm putting too much effort into something that I'm not honestly enjoying. A couple of times I'll put what I feel is my all into a couple of paragraphs, and what I get in response doesn't even match up. This frustrates me, because I have this idea in my head that two paragraphs is the minimum I want to write for something. If I'm giving and getting less than that, I'm probably already done with it.

Otherwise, life is the biggest culprit. Sometimes I come back to the Word Doc where I type up my replies and realize I legit have no idea how I want to write a reply to something. A part of me doesn't want to write said reply. And it's usually because I've been trying to keep my mental/emotional/physical health in check and didn't have the energy to even consider writing that day.

Honestly, it's usually one of those two things. I'm able to recognize when I'm done with something when I get this weird, sinking feeling in my chest. A sheer sense of DREAD that makes me not want to write whatever it is anymore and go back to something I do legitimately enjoy.

I hate that I get that feeling sometimes, and it makes me feel awful when I have to come up with something to excuse myself from the roleplay in general, but in the end, it's usually better for me to just nope out of it like a bullet.

 

[rae2nerdy]

So the biggest one for me is when I feel like I'm more invested in the roleplay than my partner. When they aren't really contributing anything other than just acknowledging that they read my post. It starts to get boring when I'm the only one coming up with stuff.

Or if I am just unable to think of an interesting post to write for my character for several weeks. Like I start a reply and I just feel like I'm just word vomiting onto the screen without saying anything.

Usually I'll tell my partner right away. Like, hey sorry this idea isn't as interesting as I thought. If the problem is my partner I'll usually lie and make up some excuse.

 

[Idea]

To me, a very important aspect of "interest" is that I don't equate hype or immediate engagement to be interest. A story will inevitably have slower moments, RPs will inevitably have low moments as is the nature of stories. They will require effort and not always be immediate gratifying, as is the nature of productive mediums. To me losing interest in an RP is having an active aversion to even remaining in that RP.

What Makes me Loose Interest

1.Not Feeling Like I'm Being Involved
One of the main ways in which I can loose interest is if I feel as though there isn't really a reason for me to be in it. See, I am someone who makes their post, their roleplays and so forth in such a way as to try to guarantee that they always can stand on their own, that they have their own worth even without the need for a complete story or immediate gratification. Through the improved of what I perceive to be their technical quality as well as their entertainment value, I feel as though I did not waste my time on them. That said, while this is my method for coping with the reality of how easily RPs die, it is by itself a sufficient motivation to be in any one RP. My posts are my work, and I want that work to produce something in the end of the day. Whether that something is just making a significant contribution to the roleplay or is actually getting me the replies I crave and like, I want to be contributing something and seeing that contribution.

This is a very long way of saying that if I'm just a repleaceable extra, or if it is evident that nobody cares for my presence, then the whole thing just starts feeling pointless to me. I try to engage with people, but if they don't engage back, I can hardly muster up the motivation to do it for that long a good chunk of the time. That said, I don't mind lesser involvement. I'm content with being a side-character so long as I'm not relegated to being some background extra.

This kind of thing can take many forms. In some cases where it happened, my character was constantly overshadowed by everyone else in every way, or just plain ignored. Some GMs have made those "uber-special" characters that just took the entire spotlight. And a recent, admitedly a little petty example, was when someone made a character that fit the exact role in the group dynamic I had been aiming for and building.

2.If I'm Upset or Believe I am Likely to Become so By Staying
I'm an argumentative person, both by nature and by beliefs. I can be stubborn and I appreciate a good and civilized discussion. i tend to naturally have criticisms of things like character sheets and play devil's advocate for a myriad of ideas, just for the sake of allowing discussions to be a little more balanced. I fundamentally believe that the dismissal of a thought as "just an opinion" is far more disrespectful to any than proper and serious criticism of said idea. I believe that through dialogue and discussion of even the wildest ideas people can more clearly learn to see the flaws and merits of their own ideas, thus improving their viewpoint and their own lives.

As such, because I have such a nature, I know that someone making me upset in a roleplay can be fatal. Now this doesn't happen often, but I don't want to gamble people's enjoyment of a roleplay because I'm upset someone- at the same time, I cannot trust myself not to retaliate or be averse to working with that person. If for whatever reason I feel like I can't tolerate some person or element of the roleplay, I will choose to leave the roleplay.

3.Receiving Game-changing Information
Be it from finding I have new responsabilities to take care of, be it from extraordinary RP opportunities that I just can't miss, or from discovering something about the roleplay or GM that I didn't know or just misunderstood before, new information can have a great impact on my perspective about whether to keep a roleplay.

PS: "Hype Death" is also something which affects me. It would constitute a fourth point, but I am usually quite conscious of avoiding getting taken by the hype wave alone, so it happens a little too rarily to have a proper point for itself.

How I Recognize I am Losing Interest

1.Tring to avoid the Roleplayer or Roleplay (consciously)

2.Becoming more easily distracted when working on replies

3.Becoming less capable of working and compromising with someone, potentially even becoming hostile to their presence

4.A general stiffiness on my back that often indicates I have a case of freezes

 

[MsPyromaniac]

Making excuses to not reply. "I've been busy" "work's been crazy" etc. And really, the only person who knows that these are excuses is me, and yes, it makes me feel a little bad.

To be honest, when I see people say this (and they haven't replied for ages), I can pretty much tell that it's an excuse. And that's okay! Nothing is wrong with not wanting to reply or roleplay anymore, and I wished that was expressed in "role-play culture" itself more. People would probably stop ghosting and just be more honest, and most people (including me) love honesty. I'd prefer for a partner to just tell me they aren't into it anymore (because it can really waste time, and I could be out looking for more rps instead of just waiting.) But honestly, now when people tell me this I just automatically assume they aren't interested anymore, and it's not a big deal if they aren't. I'm not upset with it nor does it bother me. I just wish people were more honest.

Anyway, the reason I wrote all that is because you said you felt a bit bad because of it, and while I can't speak for everyone perhaps there are people like me who aren't upset by that excuse. So don't feel too bad!

As for your question, my answer is simple. I can usually tell I'm losing interest because I just feel it. It's no longer interesting or fun for me, and I usually let my partner know that. Some partners I've had, we just would do another roleplay. As for others, we would just stop roleplaying, and all would end up being good.

 

[Jannah]

Life is probably a big factor for me. Just today I had to drop a RP because after trying to reply to it for days I simply couldn't. I was gone for about a week because I was doing irl stuff. Once I returned I struggled to reply to this RP so I told the person that we need to drop. At least we're on good terms, though, and are probably doing another completely different one.

 

[Nobelia]

Mainly echoing what's already been said, but--life. Honestly, if I really enjoy an RP, I'll ask to see if there's any way I can rejoin even after the RP has continued without me. But that depends mostly on how attached I've become to the RP, and if I/my OC has any real visibility in said RP.

 

[Whisker]

I start to lose interest in an RP when:

• I am the only one actively contributing to it within a timely manner.
• When I have to chase after my partners to reply after days or weeks have gone by.
• When the roleplay has passed me by (e.g. when it's gone off the rails in a direction you haven't expected and there's very little I feel I can contribute and/or I don't like the direction).
• When I've gone over my head on RPs and have found something that has interested me more.
  

I am usually good at knowing when I'm not interested in contributing anymore though. That will be when I'm actively not thinking about it and/or thinking about other stuff when I write the posts. There's no passion or enthusiasm to keep going. Wish my partners would be more honest if I ask them if they're still interested in continuing outright and they're like "Yes, ofc! I've just been busy and blah and blah" then you never hear from them again.

 

[MechanicalSnake]

I would say I most often quit RPs due to "life curveballs". Like when my mother had cancer, I obviously couldn't write cause I was too depressed to. Or when I work 14 hours a day for three months and I am so drained I cant even tie my shoe, much less be creative. But I would not classify this as losing interest, more like "really wanting to write but being unable to".

When I actually lose interest, it is for one of the following reasons:
- my rp partner has been giving me one reply per month and I could see they have lost interest first
- it comes to light the other is playing a Mary Sue, although it didn't use to be obvious before

 

[Kylesar1]

Most often it's a conscious experience that I just realize I'm losing interest. Like right now, I'm engaged in an RP with a partner who's posting literally only one-liners and doing actions with no explanations as to what the action does or what they hope to accomplish by doing said action. However, this isn't what I would classify as losing interest. My interest isn't waning as much as it is skydiving with an anvil instead of a parachute

I often confuse inactivity due to writer's block with losing interest. I tend to not put off writing responses so if I do and there's no real reason to, chances are I'm losing interest. If I'm starting to feel like posting is a chore, I'm losing interest

 

[Caffeine Freak]

I think everybody's explained the big reasons pretty well already so I'll just list mine off and hope y'all can relate.

• When posting starts feeling more like a chore or something to get out of the way.

• I think of a better character mid-RP and/or realise my current one doesn't fit in.

• Posts that don't really add anything to the plot and put pressure on the other player(s) to keep the ball rolling.

• RPs that weren't adequately planned out and become airless as time goes on.

• Those two players in group RPs that 1x1 for three pages while everyone else is offline.

• GMs that use fonts which require an enigma machine to read.

• Applying for more RPs because there's no activity, only to later become consumed with work when they do eventually take off.

• Making the mistake of joining the RP's Discord group and resenting another player for being toxic.

• Feeling like my interactions in the world don't matter and aren't acknowledged by other group RP players.

• Too many players in group RPs, which leads to an unholy amount of reading in order to figure out what's going on.

• Players that add pictures and gifs to all their posts.

All in all, there's been a grand total of maybe five roleplays where I can say that I was constantly engaged from start to finish. It's all down to the experience of the GM and the consistency of quality from all the players that decide whether an RP becomes tedious or not.