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Realistic or Modern π”½β„π•†π•„ π”Έπ•Šβ„π”Όπ•Š π•Žπ”Ό 𝔹𝕃𝕆𝕆𝕄

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Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
What Eun-Geom feared most were the moments when the clock's ticking seemed to slow down, every second taking twice as long. It signaled a state of mind that never heralded good things. An eerie stillness would begin to set in the air as his mind enters an odd dichotomy of blanking out and thinking too deeply, reviving all the less-than positive emotions that he'd suffocated and buried long ago. This was the reason why he avoided idleness like the plague; unfortunately, currently he had no other choice.

He was at the 5th Anniversary of the Seolsang-dong Bombing, better known to himself as that disaster. The gathering was being held in a community center where the support group always met, just in a different, larger hall. The room had been decorated modestly, pictures of loved ones hanging on the walls as a reminder of both what they lost and their reasons to keep going. Han-Seol's wasn't one of them; both him and Tae-Jin hyung had been too busy to help with this year's anniversary. That was almost a relief, honestly, since he couldn't be confident in staying cool with Han-Seol's face smiling back at him.

That said, there were very few people staying cool in this place. He knew practically everyone here, at least by face if not by name. He knew their stories well, too, which was why his mind had plenty of time to wander while the sharing went on. It wasn't that he didn't want to pay attention. There was neither disinterest nor disrespect in his heart in regards to what they were sharing. His brain was just one addicted to thinking β€” often way too much.

Trying to keep his focus on the present, he observed the room with more detail than necessary, his eyes lingering on every grieving face before moving on to the next. Even Joon, who liked to pretend he was heartless and usually did a good job of it, had a sad, pondering expression as Mi-Yeon, one of the oldest and most active members of the group talked about answering her grandson's questions about his parents. Eun-Geom bit his lips to keep the familiar, complicated feelings down. He had no right to grieve with the rest of them; that was an opinion he stuck to himself since day one of joining the group. He was only here to make up for his mistakes and take away as much pain as he could from the victims of his past incompetence.

As his observation of the attendees neared its end, he finally arrived at a quiet, lonesome and rather unfamiliar figure in the corner. From the moment he noticed her, his gaze kept straying toward where she silently sat, curiosity rising in him. She wasn't a completely foreign face but... somehow, he was sure he hadn't seen her before in this group. A newcomer after five whole years? That was unexpected, if not downright odd. He was suspicious for a while, if this was some journalist intruding into what was meant to be a very private and safe space, but the lost, uncomfortable look on her face made him think otherwise.

By the time the ending speech concluded and people broke apart into smaller groups for conversation, Eun-Geom had already stared at her for a combined total of far-too-long. The woman hadn't said a single word throughout, much less shared her story. It could be interpreted as her not having anything to say, yet he felt, instinctively, that it wasn't the case. That she had plenty to say but couldn't. He could empathize with that; he'd felt the same way at the start of all this. If Tae-Jin hadn't forced open a conversation with him, he might have continued on that painful path...

"She's pretty, huh?" The sudden voice from his side tore Eun-Geom's attention from her. He rolled his eyes as Tae-Jin bumped his shoulder with a chuckle, continuing to tease with, "Haven't you been looking at her too much?"

"Do you know her, hyung?" he asked, ignoring the implication of the older man's words, "I don't think I've seen her here before."

"Me neither," Tae-Jin confirmed with a slightly puzzled look on his face, clearly thinking that was weird, too. If the older man hadn't seen her, then she almost definitely hadn't been here before. Eun-Geom returned to his previous line of thought with pursed lips.

"Give me a sec," he said to his hyung, excusing himself from their little group's conversation as he decisively headed toward this mysterious Woman X.

Mood:
"who's that girl?"

Location:
community center

Interactions:
Tae-Jin | None

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
This was the worst day of the year. There were hard days. Days with more pain. Days filled with inconveniences. Days where nothing went right. Those were absolutely nothing compared to today. This date was one Soo-Yun dreaded. One she hoped would never come, but it was inevitable that once a year the calendar would betray her. It had been five years. Five whole years since the bombing. The world, for a moment, seemed to revolve around the catastrophe. But how come everyone else moved on? How come she was trapped with being suffocated by this date?

Soo-Yun had attempted to sleep as long as possible. Maybe she could skip through today like a commercial on television. Her body must have rejected that little wish of her's. Instead she woke up at a normal time, around 8 am, to start the horrendous 24 hours that would ensue. The woman had lied in bed, just staring up at the ceiling for a solid hour before she could convince herself to stand. She had wondered into the bathroom and just stared at her figure in the mirror. Eyes sunken, face sullen, hair frizzy and unkempt, she looked just as broken as she felt. Soo-Yun pulled the yellow pill bottle from the cabinet and held it in her hands. She stared down at the medication, fully aware that she needed it on a normal day to feel human. Today she didn't know if even pain killers could console her.

After staring down at a bowl of cereal, the numbness taking over her slowly, she decided that eating wouldn't be on her agenda today. Her Eomma had texted her shortly after lunch time. A simple message that told her that her mother was aware that today was difficult for her. That she could come to her if she wanted. What was the point? If she came to her mother, all she would get was pity and an "I'm sorry this happened to you." There wasn't a single part of her that understood what her daughter was going through. The one suggestion was to do something to keep her mind off of her past trauma. Soo-Yun thought that was a good idea, but to implement it was difficult.

A friend had reminded her about the support group for those affected by the Seolsang-dong Bombing, aware that the anniversary was coming up. Soo-Yun hadn't gone to any talks set up for survivors and others affected by the disaster. At first she had been too unwell to go. Then she had been....afraid? She guessed that was the emotion she had been feeling. It didn't make sense. Out of any groups of people, she should have felt most at ease with talking to those also affected by the bombing. Still, she had never had the courage to show up. Until today. The fear of being alone was much greater than that of going.

Soo-Yun put on a nice outfit, a face of makeup, and did her hair. Appearance was everything wasn't it? Look as repaired as possible and everyone will assume you are. The woman had slipped into the room just before it started, she felt it would be easier that way. She looked around the room as she listened to every story. She studied each face as they relived those moments. Their emotion mimicked her own. Lost. Lonely. Holding on to something, or someone, that was gone. Soo-Yun, somehow, didn't notice the eyes that were trained on her for a long time. She was too focused on controlling her own emotions. Part of her tried to convince herself to speak up. Saying that telling others about her story would make it easier to bear. The other part was too anxious. Being that vulnerable in a room full of strangers was scary.

The plan was to leave after everything was done. To avoid anyone asking questions. Soo-Yun, however, was drawn to the pictures. The faces of those lost. She began to wonder which faces matched which stories. Her own experience still fresh in her mind. Won-Sik's pained face stared up at her every time she closed her eyes. She remembered when they pulled her out of the rubble, she was still clinging to him. The police or firefighter had to pry her fingers from his cold form. She should have died next to him. Then she wouldn't have to go on like this without him. Absentmindedly, the woman stared down at the picture in front of her. Her arms were wrapped around herself. A few quiet tears fell from her glossy eyes, trailing gently down her cheeks.

It was when she heard a voice nearby and footsteps coming closer that she quickly brought her hand up to hastily wipe her face. Soo-Yun wanted to make a quick exit. As she turned to try and avoid whoever was nearby, she came face to face with a man. Her eyes widened as her hands came up in surprise. "Omo! I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there," She exclaimed. Soo-Yun let out a breath. He stood there, a simple outfit with a blue cardigan, something about the way he looked at her screamed curiosity. Oh God, he was going to ask her questions. Wait. Did he speak at all? She didn't remember his face with any story that was told. Soo-Yun had tried to commit them all to her memory. Who was he? Was he familiar or was her mind playing tricks on her? Her brain tended to be on the foggier side of things. She preferred it that way. To any extent, she was now trapped in a conversation with this stranger, she may as well play her part as a normal human. "I'm Soo-Yun, and you are?" She asked, one of her hands outstretched in greeting towards him. A forced closed lipped smile tugged at her lips as she looked up at him. Soo-Yun couldn't make herself do much more than that.
Mood:
was this a good idea?

Location:
community center

Interactions:
a random stranger ( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Last edited:
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
As he neared her, he realized she was crying. Quiet tears rolled down her cheek as she gazed at the pictures on the wall, making for a rather melancholic picture. Eun-Geom's steps stuttered by an unnoticeable beat. Even after coming across all forms of sadness, he was still bad at approaching it, especially on women. Surprised, he stayed silent for a whole second beside her, until Woman X finally noticed him and turned around.

"Omo, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there," she told him, hastily brushing her tears away. Eun-Geom played along with that, acting like he didn't see anything. Both of them would only be uncomfortable if he were to ask about it now.

"I'm Soo-Yun, and you are?" The woman asked, stretching out a hand to shake in greeting. The smile she gave him was so clearly forced, it was almost painful. Again, he pretended he didn't notice that, flashing her a slight, hopefully reassuring smile of his own as he took her offered hand.

"Eun-Geom, nice to meet you," he introduced in return, pulling his hand away as he did. He wasn't one for long handshakes. He'd experienced many of those at work and it more than once has annoyed the hell out of him. And, honestly, he felt like the woman in front of him was someone he had to be very careful with, lest she run away. She seemed tense and about ready to leave already.

"I just noticed that we haven't seen each other in this group before," he told her honestly, gesturing vaguely to the rest scattered in the hall. She indeed really stood out here; a lonely figure in the midst of people talking familiarly with each other. He paused for a bit, his mind quickly running through options for what to say next.

"And also, well, that you didn't talk much just now," he continued, cautiously studying her reaction. It was at that moment that her still-teary eyes and his own made a slightly too-direct contact, short-circuiting his brain for the briefest of seconds, giving his mouth leeway to move on its own accord.

"If you'd like to talk to someone..." he found himself saying, "then, will you join me for a drink later?' Less than point zero second later, Eun-Geom immediately regretted his words. It wasn't that he wasn't willing, of course. But his offer had come out too suddenly and in a way too easily misunderstood. Damn, he thought to himself, despite keeping a fairly neutral face outwardly. She surely wouldn't accept now.

Mood:
lowkey regret

Location:
community center

Interactions:
Soo-Yun A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
With a reassuring smile from the stranger, who was named Eun-Geom, she felt the immediate anxiety she had melt. Something about his demeanor told Soo-Yun that he wasn't the type to pry. The fact his opening question wasn't 'why are you crying?' was a good sign. After a short handshake, he began to explain why he wanted to talk to her. So it had been curiosity. If she had been in a better mood she might have joked about how she was here for the food, or was hoping for a real banger of a party, but she just wasn't in the joking mood. Soo-Yun briefly wish she would have just popped another pill, or more, and stayed home. But she knew that was a dangerous game to play. A very dangerous line to walk.

The woman mouthed a small "ahhh" with a small nod after he was finished with his explanation. She hadn't thought about the possibility that it may seem odd that someone would just walk in after 5 years. Why had she chosen the 5th anniversary? Something about 5 years felt so...finite. The halfway point to a decade. It felt like a landmark. Soo-Yun should be better than she was at this point, but she wasn't. So after 5 years she felt like coming was a good idea. Now that she was here, it did seem a little strange. Well, no changing things now. She was here and didn't have the power of time travel. That'd be really cool though.

While she thought about the epicness of time travel, that was when Eun-Geom asked if she wanted to go for drinks later. She blinked a few times, eyebrows pulling together in slight confusion. Was he hitting on her? This felt like he was hitting on her. Maybe that was in her head. That was a pretty rash conclusion. He had said that they could talk. Just talking, in it's self, sounded like something Soo-Yun both did and didn't want to do. His non-threatening demeanor made her feel at ease, he just had this face that said 'I'm a great listener'. Talking supposedly made you feel better. But if a year of talk therapy taught her anything, it was that talking wasn't the end-all-be-all to her problems. Though, if talking didn't make her feel better, than there was alcohol. Drinking away her sorrows sounded like a great plan.

"Well someone's forward," She responded with her faked smile growing into a smirk, the implication of her words hopefully coming across. Ah humor, her favorite defense mechanism. Soo-Yun chuckled dryly to herself. "I'm joking. A drink sounds good," She added with a small nod. Things were quiet for a moment. She wasn't all to confident in her sharing abilities, even one on one. The fact he had been upfront and honest about why he had come up and talked to her, made her feel like she should also be up front and honest about her doubt. "I'm not sure about the, um, talking part," Her lip twitched in an attempted nervous smile, but they seemed to fall back into a straight line. "I'll try, I just....don't want to make any promises." She would try, it had just been so long that she had someone willing to listen. Most of the people she had talked to in the past knew about her experience and just nodded along as she told them how she felt. They did and said all the things that they should say, but the emotion didn't reach their eyes. Soo-Yun had yet to find real comfort with talking things out. Now, she just felt like she was complaining, whining even. She wondered if this stranger, Eun-Geom, would be any different. The only way to figure out was to share, but was she curious enough? Maybe after a few drinks she would be.
Mood:
getting wasted sounds pretty good right now

Location:
community center

Interactions:
a random stranger ( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
Soo-Yun was evidently confused by his offer β€” of course she would be β€” and as a frown formed on her face, Eun-Geom braced himself for rejection. In her position, that's what he would do, at least. Already sure of her answer, he prepared an explanation in mind just in case she was offended, and decided to instead invite her to the dinner that Tae-Jin was planning. At least there, it would be a smaller group, and she could get to know the people first. That was what he should have offered first, anyway.

"Well someone's forward," she suddenly commented, making Eun-Geom flinch internally. She got the wrong idea after all. He was not at all the type of guy to ask random people out for drinks. He recalled one time when he was in high school and a couple women came to ask him the same thing out of the blue. He's pretty sure they just mistook him for being older but the sheer discomfort of that one incident made him rather averse to hitting on strangers for the rest of his life. Which was a good thing. A great thing. If only he'd remembered that rule just now. As Eun-Geom pushed those thoughts out and was about to try explaining himself, Soo-Yun delivered a shocking, plot-twist-level line: "I'm joking. A drink sounds good."

Now it was his turn to be confused. He stared at her for a quiet second, trying to digest her words. Sounds good? That was effectively agreeing, wasn't it? It was surprising for sure, and Eun-Geom might have ended up showing that by replying late, if it weren't for her continuing to speak. She made it quite clear that talking about her story wasn't her main intention. Then, the only other activity involved, the one she'd agreed to go with him for was the alcohol.

Eun-Geom wasn't a fan of drinking away one's sorrows, finding that leads to too many mistakes and was just generally unhealthy; he knows from experience. But he could understand her. Anyway, for this one, important, painful day, it was definitely worth getting through with a drink or two. Eun-Geom nodded his acknowledgement to her warning, before turning around to look for the group he was supposed to be having dinner with.

"If you're sure, then give me a moment," he told her, waiting a second to make sure she didn't want to change her mind, "I'll go excuse myself first." With that, he left her to walk toward Tae-Jin, tapping on his shoulder and pulling him aside from the group as he reached.

"I need to go first, hyung," He whispered, his gaze flickering to where Soo-Yun was standing. Tae-Jin's eyes also went to the woman before widening in surprise as they stared back at him.

"Wow, our Gom-ie is all grown up, huh? You're better than I though," he teased with an arched brow, making Eun-Geom roll his eyes.

"I'm thirty-two," he reminded in a dry tone, "and you know that's not it, anyway." Tae-Jin's smile turned warmer and more somber at his seriousness, flickering one more time to Soo-Yun before waving Eun-Geom away, signalling he understood & earning a pat on the shoulder in return as thanks. Their relationship was often like this, when it came to serious things: silent and based off mutual understanding.

With that he walked back to Soo-Yun, giving her another small smile to hopefully ease her tensed expression as he asked, "Where do you want to go?"


Mood:
wow she said yes

Location:
community center

Interactions:
Tae-jin | Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
Soo-Yun watched as Eun-Geom paused, eyes focused on her once she agreed. Had she made things awkward? Did he think she was strange? She didn't really care to be honest if he did. It wasn't like she knew him at all. Which brought up another question. Why accept his offer for drinks? Well. Soo-Yun had agreed to dumber things than going to a bar with a stranger. She was also planning on drinking alone anyways, so may as well do it with company. Shots always went down smoother when you could say a quick cheers beforehand. Not that she was planning on doing shots. Actually, maybe. That sounded like a good time. The woman could use a good time.

The possibility of shots still in the back of her mind, her newfound company told her to hang on while he excused himself. Did he already have plans? Was she being an inconvenience? He wouldn't have asked if that was true....right? Ah well. Just like she couldn't go back and avoid coming to this meeting at all, she couldn't go back on agreeing to go out. "Ok," She replied shortly. Soo-Yun was now half looking forward to going out with his guy she had just met. Not because she was interested. Liking someone didn't exactly come easy to her. And love? Well that opportunity died for her a long time ago.

The woman watched with interest as Eun-Geom approached another man. He looked a bit older. Maybe that was just her. Was that rude to think? Her scattered brain was all over the place wasn't it. I guess that's what scattered meant. Just as the other man turned to look over at her, she moved her gaze away. Soo-Yun didn't want to seem like she was prying. Her eyes wandered around the room. Absentmindedly the woman began to bite on her nails. A habit that she had never really broken since she was young.

As Eun-Geom came back, she turned to him. Pulling her fingers away from her mouth, her arms moved to cross around her chest. It was more of a self comforting gesture than anything. She looked up at him, noticing the reassurance on his face. His question brought Soo-Yun to shrug her shoulders in reply. "I don't really mind. Anywhere close by would be good. If we're walking far, don't expect to get there anytime soon. This," She paused, moving to pull up her pant leg while looking down at the now exposed metal of her prosthetic, "Tends to slow my pace a bit." She went back to her crossed arm posture. It wasn't really her amputation that limited her, there were plenty of people who did amazing things with the less of a limb. It was her hip that really limited her. But that wasn't as easy to explain to a stranger. Showing off her bling was normally enough to cause people to nod their heads in understanding. She cleared her throat slightly before continuing, a small smile directed at Eun-Geom, "But whatever is fine with me."
Mood:
whatever as long as there's alcohol.

Location:
community center

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you

"This tends to slow my pace a bit."

Soo-Yun had made the remark so casually that Eun-Geom had looked down where she gestured expecting to see high heels. Instead, what was revealed was a glint of metal. A prosthetic leg. Guilt pierced through his heart like a bullet and his smile froze for a brief moment. Eun-Geom's gaze shot back up to her face, refusing to linger on the prosthetic leg. He tried his best to react naturally to her next words, directing his thought toward figuring out where to go. It had to be somewhere she didn't have to walk a lot to, then.

"I have my car with me," he noted, "if you don't mind, I'll drive us to a bar I know around here." After garnering her affirmation, he led her to the sleek, navy blue sedan parked in the lot outside. The car was chosen by his sisters and therefore slightly flashier than he'd have liked, but it ran fast enough for him to never be late, which he'd say was a bigger pro than any con, considering how often he had to rush to things. Though that pro didn't matter in this case, because he hardly wanted one of this woman's first impressions of him to be his slightly insane driving on the road.

After opening the door for Soo-Yun, he got into the driver's seat and started the car. The first part of the ride was quiet. Soo-Yun didn't talk much and Eun-Geom was distracted from making conversation by his heavy heart. He met many people in the support group who had serious injuries from the incident. Very few of them ever blamed him but he always felt troubled when he saw their scars. He wished it had been him in their situation, that he could take on all the consequences of his own failure. But he knew he couldn't, not in that way. That was why he was so intent on sharing their emotional pain instead; to somehow fix what he couldn't prevent.

As the radio switched from one calm song to another, Eun-Geom blinked away his heavy thoughts. It wasn't time to think about himself, now, was it? He was here intending to listen to Soo-Yun, after all. He glanced at the navigation one more time and then at the girl beside him, taking a second to choose the topic of conversation before finally breaching their mutual pact of silence.

"We're almost there," he remarked as he made a slow turn into a smaller, cozy-looking alley, "it's a pretty small bar, just down this road."
Mood:
apprehensive

Location:
on the way to the bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
The woman had noticed Eun-Geom's change as soon as he looked down. For a second Soo-Yun regretted mentioning, well showing, the fact she was missing the majority of her leg. Not that she was embarrassed by her injury. At this point it was as much a part of her as her hair was black. People knew her as the washed up doctor without a leg. It was just like a freckle or something. Soo-Yun tried her best to look at it that way. Most days she could. It was when she went to parties or thought about going out to a club where she could wear a short dress or look cute in heels where it tended to come to mind more often. On more insecure days it would hold her back. Though most of the time if she was going out, she was too out of it to even worry.

She could see that look in his eyes. The one she hated. Pity. The superficial sadness that people fronted that told her they, in some capacity, cared. His look felt more genuine than most. Some did it to save face and look like they had a heart. Oh, pity the girl who lost it all in a freak accident. It was that attitude of a false comforter that she hated. But even if his eyes held something akin to sadness, he didn't say anything. Almost like it didn't exist, Eun-Geom just offered his car for their little trip to the bar. "Yeah sure, that's fine," She told him with a nod and a tight lipped smile.

With pleasure, she followed him out of the building. The depressing air of the room was really starting to get to her. Bringing her mood lower and lower, if that was even possible. She was feeding off of everyone else's downhearted spirit. Why did people find solace in groups like this? It made it hard to shove things down where she wanted them to be. Hearing the experiences of others brought up painful emotions and memories she had tried so hard to avoid. It was hard to sit though without wanting to bawl her eyes out. Soo-Yun made her way, her small limp and all, over to his car. She let out a small whistle at the sight of it, raising her eyebrows at Eun-Geom over his fancy set of wheels. She didn't drive, not anymore at least. She didn't want to get pulled over and given a drug test or something. She definitely would not pass.

Climbing into the passenger seat, Soo-Yun looked around the car with interest. Trying to get something about the personality of her new drinking buddy. The car was super neat. Something about the way he held himself and talked told her that he was orderly. Seeing the inside of his car confirmed that theory. But it also didn't tell her much else that that. Darn neat people and their hard to read spaces. She sat back in her seat as he climbed into the passenger seat and began to drive.

The majority of the ride was silent. The pair sat there as low music gently played from the speakers. It was thoughtful silence. Well, maybe for Eun-Geom. Soo-Yun felt like her head, for once, was empty. Just nothing. No rambling thoughts that went on and on. It was a bit unsettling to be honest. Maybe she was just too tired of being bombarded by depressing thought after depressing thought to continue. Or maybe it was the dread of sharing those dark sentiments that made them stop. Quietly she stared out the window, watching things go by, before she heard his voice break the silence. She gave him a small smile before nodding in response. "Sounds nice," She added.

He was right, as they pulled off and parked just moments later. Soo-Yun got out of the car and followed Eun-Geom into the bar. It was small, quiet, and not many people were inside. Which was nice. To be mostly alone. If she started crying, or worse, yelling stupidly, it would only be a few people who heard her rather than a whole room full. Soo-Yun hiked herself onto one of the bar stools before looking over at Eun-Geom. "So, what's your drink of choice? Scotch, bourbon, soju, one of those fruity cocktails you get at the beach that tastes like juice but could knock out a horse?" She asked, tapping her fingers a few times on the bar, "You can tell a lot about a person based on their taste in alcohol."

Mood:
what are we drinking?
Location:
community center > bar
Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )
Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you

Eun-Geom walked into the bar and felt much more relaxed than before with the familiar, cozy atmosphere and warm lights... and also not being alone with a stranger in the form of Soo-Yun. He was typically fine with interacting with strangers, just not in an intimate, personal space. And, yes, he did consider his car one of those, despite its rather impersonal sense of decor. He glanced back at Soo-Yun before sliding into a seat, turning himself so he wasn't facing his company or the bar itself directly, but also both at once.

Surprisingly, she was the first to speak this time, asking him about the alcohol he preferred. Eun-Geom wasn't sure you could tell much about someone based on their drink, though perhaps his team's profilers could affirm her opinion. Either way, he wasn't much of a drinker, but he did prefer the taste of hard liquor. Or course, wine and the like were much more common, especially for the events he had to be dragged along to in his line of work, and he was fine with those too. On his own though, a whiskey neat was definitely more common than sparkling champagne or some exotic cocktail. What did that say about him? Maybe that he was bitter and not to everyone's taste? Who knows, really β€” not him.

He considered his words for a while, then responded with, "Scotch would be nice, but maybe we shouldn't start with that." A pause as he glanced at the wall. "What are you into?"

Quickly, his eyes glanced over Soo-Yun as he asked that. What kind of alcohol would she be into? His first thought was Soju; the strong kind. Despite her fairly feminine, pure-looking appearance and fashion, the way she held herself was like someone who'd be good at shots. What did that say about her? That she was a dizzying experience?
Mood:
alcoholic

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
Soo-Yun nodded her head at his answer, signifying her understanding. She smirked slightly, Eun-Geom seemed like a scotch type of guy. Sophisticated, mature, put together, and maybe even a little uptight. Strong enough to dull the pain but bitter enough to encourage one to drink it slowly. Not that Soo-Yun hadn't downed bottles glasses of whiskey before. What was it, a month ago maybe? It was in the cabinet, being one of those nights that she sat on her kitchen floor and drank from the bottle. She probably shouldn't relate that image to Eun-Geom. He'd most likely find that unappealing and be worried about how the night would end. Well. Maybe he should be a bit worried about that.

The question was turned around to her. What did she like to drink? Soo-Yun had learned that, to her, if it was alcohol, it was good. The stronger the better. If she had to choose between a bottle of soju, or even better vodka, over a pack of beer, she'd probably pick the former rather than the latter (better yet both). Taste didn't really matter most of the time when she drank. Soo-Yun didn't often drink just because she liked the flavor. What ever could get her more drunk faster was usually her first choice. That wasn't particularity healthy but whatever. Not like she cared. "Um," She tried to pick her words carefully, absentmindedly tracing the grains of wood on the bar top, "I usually just pick whatever is cheep and strong, but sometimes I branch out. Especially if someone else is buying." Adding a smile to try and pass it off as a joke, even if it wasn't.

Seeing the bartender, Soo-Yun grabbed his attention. She decided to ask for two beers to start off with since he suggested going for harder alcohol at the current moment wasn't something he was interested in. She wouldn't have hesitated herself, but she didn't want to scare him away. Eun-Geom was wanted company, an unexpected but welcomed distraction. She liked being with people. Especially when being by herself, even if she didn't like to admit it, was dangerous. Soo-Yun being alone lead to more bad decisions. Being feet away from an entire bottle of opiods was a tempting offer. Going from one more to a handful didn't seem like a hard reality to imagine.

The man behind the counter was quick, due to the small number of people in the establishment. He set the two opened bottles in front of them with a smile and went off the attend to something else. Soo-Yun realized she probably should have asked if he wanted something different. Impulsive decision making seemed to get her in trouble. "Probably should have asked if you liked beer," She mused out loud, looking over at him with an apologetic smile. The woman grabbed the bottle placed in front of her and tapped it against Eun-Geom's to hear the soft clink of glass before bringing it to her lips to take a drink. A long drink, but one appropriate for the occasion.

Her eyes fell onto the beads of condensation dripping down the sides of her beer as she sat it on the counter with both hands wrapped around it. She felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and disbelief wash over her. Soo-Yun tapped her thumb against the glass a few times while silence fell over them. What should she say in this moment? What could she say? She didn't look up at Eun-Geom as she was at a loss. Reminiscing wasn't a past time she enjoyed, but how could she avoid it on such a significant milestone in time? Words finally came to her, their somber tone expressing in very little detail how she felt, "I just can't believe it's been five years." Hoping maybe he'd understand what she meant, because no one else Soo-Yun had ever talked to seemed to.
Mood:
try not to sound insane, ok
soo-yun?

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Last edited:
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
"...sometimes I branch out. Especially if someone else is buying." So came Soo-Yun's reply. It was surprising mostly because it was a joke ⁠— or, at least, he assumed it was one ⁠— and she hadn't seemed like she had the energy for those in the car. Eun-Geom smiled at her words, half out of relief that she seemed easier to talk to than he'd been preparing himself for.

He watched her quietly as she took it upon herself to order two beers for them, inevitably falling into the work habit of analyzing people. She seemed slightly restless, perhaps because she was nervous... yet, at the same time, she held herself like someone who was laidback, a person who doesn't take things too seriously. Either that was a pretense, or whatever thoughts running through her head were simply just that nerve-inducing. He was inclined to believe the latter, because he couldn't feel that off-putting fakeness from people who liked to put on airs. Eun-Geom would have stopped himself there, but as the bartender brought them their drinks and a light of sudden realization turned on in her eyes, he noted down one more trait: impulsive.

"It's fine," he replied to her sheepish afterthought, "beer works for me, too." He obliged her little cheers with their bottles, following suit in taking the first drink, though hers went on quite a bit longer than his. He was the type to sip alcohol, regardless of type. Soo-Yun clearly wasn't.

Another silence followed quickly after, with the woman looking deep in thought. Under the warm light of the bar, their glass bottles glinted like diamond, reflecting it back onto Soo-Yun as her gaze wandered toward somewhere far away. It made for a melancholic picture. One with a lot more emotion than its surface simplicity displayed. He didn't want to disturb it, and so he waited in silence for her to come up with the words she needed to say. Finally, after a long second, she spoke: "I just can't believe it's been five years."

There wasn't much detail or explanation at all in her words but, somehow, he understood. "Yeah, I know," he opened, weighing his words. As much as he was inclined to listening to other's stories, Eun-Geom didn't like thinking about his own. It was still painful. And he supposed it was the same for her, hence her words. But he knew he had to be open, if he was going to let her feel like she could do the same.

"It still doesn't feel real, does it?" He continued, softly, "Sometimes, it feels like I'll wake up & it's all gonna be a bad dream. Even after all this time."

Mood:
somber

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
Eun-Geom's reply wasn't what surprised her as much as his tone did. His simple "I know" wasn't the formulated reply Soo-Yun was used to. When other people said it, the phrase was a sad attempt at relating their experiences to her's. None of them actually knew what it felt like. They hadn't lost everything in one foul swoop like she had. Most of them barely suffered in their lives, so how could they know anything. Eun-Geom's words may have been the simple reply to just about anyone else, but the way he said it told her everything.

He really did know what it felt like.

His continued explanation of how he was feeling at the current moment made it even more clear. He was just as much a victim to what had happened as she was. Soo-Yun found that knowledge in its self helped ease her apprehension. Her aversion to sharing was progressively getting smaller. "No, it doesn't," She replied, tempted to take another drink. She almost felt too sober to be having this conversation, though she really wasn't. The weight of the day, however, was incredibly sobering. Dang buzzkills, ruining her only escape from the horrible monotony that was her life. Without something to bring her up it was wake up, feel sorry for herself, sit around, and go to bed. Just about anyone would want to escape that. Soo-Yun just happened to pick the least healthy way to do so.

"Sometimes, it feels like I'll wake up & it's all gonna be a bad dream. Even after all this time." God how many times had she thought the exact same thing. She thought things would get easier as time went on. It didn't seem like it. The nightmare never seemed to stop. She wished it would, sometimes that brought her a dangerous place she didn't want to be in. Why did people get to move on and she didn't? Why did the world keep turning when her's ended? What kind of cruel irony was this?

That was ultimately what Soo-Yun's brain urged her to ask. Had she been in a room full of people like herself, those who had never moved on? She kept holding on. To what? There was nothing there to grasp onto. Just a hollow shell of what could have been. "I find myself wondering if this feeling lasts forever, or if one day I'll feel..." She paused, swallowing thickly and shrugging slightly while formulating her sentence, "I don't know, like me I guess." The worst things was, she believed that the Soo-Yun she used to be, the person she wanted to be again, was lost forever. So what could she become? How was she supposed to feel? Was this it?

Soo-Yun was feeling increasingly lower and lower. Seemingly unprepared for this conversation. Letting out a sigh, the woman shook her head to try and reset her mind. "Let's just drink for a little bit longer yeah?" She finally looked over at Eun-Geom, giving him a sad smile. She wasn't quite ready yet to really talk. Small talk, however, was not off the table. She didn't know anything about Eun-Geom except he liked scotch and drove a nice car. After taking another drink from her beer, she posed a question to bring them somewhere not as heavy as the short lived conversation they just had, "What do you do for a living? Fancy car and all, bet you've got a nice job." She took a more relaxed position, turning herself more to his direction with a more lighthearted expression. All she needed was just a little bit more time, but she'd get there. Soo-Yun knew that Eun-Geom was different from all the other people she had tried to talk to before. That made things easier, but that didn't mean it was easy.
Mood:
Just give me a bit more time.

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
The flash of pain in Soo-Yun's eyes as she tried to form her next words struck a chord within Eun-Geom. Because he felt like he knew, even if she was struggling to put it into words herself. He'd realized this over the time spent with the support group, that, as unique as each person's story was, they all had grief in common. That helpless feeling of having a loved one ripped away from your side, and the despair that grows within you as you try, in all the ways you know how, to fill the space they left behind and then fail, every single time.

"I find myself wondering if this feeling lasts forever, or if one day I'll feel... I don't know, like me I guess." Soo-Yun replied after a long second of hesitation, her gaze still trapped in that faraway place. Eun-Geom thought of those months he spent living like a zombie, wishing he could just be okay but never having enough energy or wits about himself to somehow make himself better, and hummed a soft agreement to her statement.

On bad days, he found himself slipping into that frame of mind, again, too. It took a lot of strength to hold onto yourself, after such a soul-sucking period in life. It would be easier to just give up, find a less exhausting way out. He only managed to keep himself together because he had people who needed him, people who couldn't lose him just yet. He had an anchor. He couldn't imagine how difficult it would be for someone who didn't.

"Let's just drink for a little bit longer yeah?" Soo-Yun continued, the smile she flashed him carrying hints of melancholy. He nodded. She needed more time, he supposed. It was clear she'd gone these five years without opening up. He didn't expect her to be able to do it right now, in front of a stranger. Eun-Geom glanced at the bottle which was still only one sip down and finally took another drink from it. Her next words came as he did, presumably in an attempt to make small talk: " "What do you do for a living? Fancy car and all, bet you've got a nice job."

Eun-Geom paused at the question. Right. She didn't know that he'd been an officer on duty that day, much less one of the men in-charge. How would she feel if she knew? He'd had people who thanked him for dragging them out of the collapsed people, but also people who had screamed and cried and asked him why he'd let that happened. He took another long drink from the bottle so his smile wouldn't look stiffer than before when he turned back,

"I work for the NIS," he answered, finally, "less action and more... well, just back-end work. You?" Was that a terribly vague answer? Yes. But, to be fair, he couldn't say much about his job, even if he wanted to.
Mood:
somber

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Last edited:
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
Soo-Yun was a bit oblivious to the pause in Eun-Geom's speech. She was too busy considering whether or not to down the rest of her drink and ask for two shot glasses. Beer was not cutting it for her. A little restless and a little shaken up over her hyper emotional state of mind. Soo-Yun just wanted to be numb again. It was so much easier that way. Soon, though, he spoke, giving an answer shortly to her question about his job.

Her nose immediately crinkled in response. A desk job was never something she was interested in. Even younger, cut throat, Soo-Yun would have agreed. She had always enjoyed doing something rather than just sitting and doing paper work all day. "Eewww, paper work. Almost sounds as boring as what I do," She commented with a bit of a chuckle, "How can you just sit at a desk all day? That would melt my brain, mad respect dude." She took a drink from her beer before continuing with her own answer. The woman now realized the topic she had chosen to avoid the heavier things had brought her back around to a heavy topic.

Well, it didn't have to be depressing unless she made it out to be. She only lost the job she had sold her soul to and the only thing she had ever worked towards her whole life. She just lost the thing that gave her meaning and purpose. The way that she honored the loss of her beloved friend in high school. Oh yeah, it wasn't a hard subject to approach at all. "I do absolutely nothing. I get to sit at home and get paid. I was a doctor but, uh, I don't practice anymore," Soo-Yun explained with a smile, one that became increasingly harder to keep as her sentence continued.

She missed it. Not the stress of having someones life in your hands, but the operating room was once her home. Her passion, even if it sounded weird and a bit creepy, was surgery. In school she had learned that Neuro wasn't that pathway she wanted to take, instead training under a heart surgeon and falling in love with the very intricate job. Her motor skills and strength were ok for everyday tasks, but the small, fine skills associated with her job were lost to her injury. She still had her degree hanging up on her wall in her bedroom. The incredibly expensive useless piece of paper reminded her of the second hardest loss she faced. It hung over top of her dresser, above the picture of her greatest loss. The engagement photos they had taken just a month or two before the disaster. Some days she had to set the picture face down. She couldn't bare looking at Won-Sik's smile knowing that she failed him.

Oh god this beer really was not enough. Deciding that she was done with holding back, Soo-Yun drank the remaining half of her drink. First of probably many questionable decisions she would make. Who cared if Eun-Geom judged her. He wouldn't be the first. And he wouldn't be the last either. "What next? How about you pick, conversation topic and beverage," She prompted the man sitting next to her, waiting expectantly for his reply. She would have recommended a drinking game of sorts, but that just felt too lighthearted for occasion. Even if some would have argued that their loved ones would have wanted them to have fun, to her it just felt disrespectful. So, surprisingly she held her tongue. That was probably the last of her self-control.
Mood:
Your job? Boring, snooze fest, 0/10, sorry not sorry.

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
Soo-Yun's clear distaste for his job's description brought back the genuine mirth to his smile, but it was quickly drained away. He'd have completely agreed with her before just a few years ago. That boredom was fatal and that he'd rather do anything but spend hours after hours sitting around behind mountains of tedious paperwork. That at least a little excitement was necessary in life.

The present him dreaded "excitement" in his job. Because that meant something urgent or terrible was happening, and a lot of pressure on him along with his colleagues to handle it without mistakes. He left the frontlines to avoid the harrowing responsibility it forced on him ⁠— something he'd believed himself too incompetent to handle, back then ⁠— only to realize that there was a whole other type of stress waiting for him in the NIS.

If it wasn't routine & tedious enough to make someone crazy, then it was a hectic rush to get things done. He no longer had to be in constant action, but his mind was frequently on overdrive. The people, too, were exhausting. There was so much politics going around, an intricate web of it that was practically unavoidable to get dragged into. So much so that Eun-Geom could honestly believe the scholarship they'd given him for a Masters in Political Science wasn't for his actual work but for handling the social atmosphere within the organization.

And, yet, despite all of that, he still preferred all that to even the tiniest possibility of experiencing a repeat of that disastrous bombing. Innocent blood burned your skin a thousand times worse than dirty blood, and it was impossible to get the stains off your hands.

"I do absolutely nothing. I get to sit at home and get paid. I was a doctor but, uh, I don't practice anymore," Soo-Yun's reply to his question brought his thoughts back to their conversation. The implications of her words were much more solemn than the tone they were delivered in, and Eun-Geom took another swig of his beer despite himself. Soo-Yun followed suit, but rather than just one gulp, she actually finished her bottle. If it were any other situation, with someone he knew better, he'd have said to slow down. This time round, though, he just took it in stride.

"What next? How about you pick, conversation topic and beverage," the woman went on to suggest, clearly wanting to move on from the topic of her career. Her eyes were expectant. if this was a comic, the reader might have seen a sweat drop drawn on him, invisible to everyone in the scene, as he was suddenly put on the spot to make acceptable small talk. It should be known that Eun-Geom was not a small talk person. At all.

"Drinks, hm?" He catered to the second part of her question first, hope to draw out some time to think by calling over the bartender for their new drinks ⁠— namely two more bottles, this time the familiar green-tinted ones of Soju. Family? No. More than likely to be a depressing topic and not something she's ready to share. Hobbies? Asking about that felt so... campy. But could he really think of anything else?

... No.

"What about hobbies, then? What do you do for fun?"

Mood:
damn I'm bad at small talk

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
"Drinks, hm?" Soo-Yun nodded her head with a small mhm. She was looking forward to the next round. She was aware that normal people with out problems would have probably taken a break, maybe eaten some fries or chips. Actually, fries sounded really good. The bottle of soju was place in front of her before she continued down the rabbit hole of fries. Eyes lighting up at the delightful choice that Eun-Geom made, she didn't even notice his struggle with coming up with a topic.

Soo-Yun grabbed the bottle and cracked the seal when she heard his next topic. Oh, right. They were making conversation. Her fleeting attention span made it hard to concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Multitasking used to be easy, but now it was incredibly difficult. She set the bottle back down on the bar while she thought of her response. "I have a lot of hobbies, you name it I've probably at least tried it. I do a lot of gardening, a little knitting, some reading...the old lady in me really jumped out there. Yikes," She laughed at her own joke. Not an uncommon occurrence for her. Soo-Yun believed herself to be pretty dang funny. That and she was incredibly easy to entertain.

It was true, though, that she did a lot of things to preoccupy the immense amount of time she had. She didn't have a lot of friends, none were close, so she had to find ways to make her days interesting on her own. Many of the things she had tried and not liked as much. She had done those wine and drawing classes. She preferred just the wine part, which she could do for much cheaper at home. Soo-Yun did like the dance classes she periodically attended. She was still a terrible dancer but at least she had fun. There were some days that she would just be walking around, see something interesting to do and she'd just do it. It wasn't like there was anything better to do.

Then there were things that she had tried but couldn't remember. She'd find recites from places she didn't remember ever going to. End up with random crap she didn't know she made. Get text messages from friends that said that it was nice to see her, even if Soo-Yun had no clue they met. She wondered if that was due to her mental health or because of the pills. Sometimes bits and pieces would make sense and come to light. Other times it was just lost forever. Loosing time was disorienting, but that just made things in her life go that much quicker. Not like she was doing anything important that she'd have to recall in great detail.

"Your turn," She chirped, "With a boring job like yours, I'm not too hopeful. Surprise me, please." Her teasing manner came quickly, half a defense mechanism and half just wanting to have a nice time. Though he could thinks she was serious. She didn't know how well he dealt with sarcasm yet. "I'm joking, of course, I'm sure there is something interesting about you," She added as an afterthought as she poured soju into a shot glass, ready to continue to abuse her liver.
Mood:
Just like 1% of you has to be interesting.

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
Soo-Yun looked more enthusiastic about the alcohol than the conversation, and Eun-Geom couldn't blame her for it. He left his new drink as is, resolving to finish his remaining beer first. He probably wouldn't even drink the soju, in the end. One of them needed to drive, after all. Eun-Geom wasn't a fan of intoxicated driving at all, and what he had was already pushing it. Three beers, that was how much the man who'd smashed right into his father's car claimed to only have had. He would already be a third of the way there with this bottle. If he had to have more, he would have to get a taxi and come back to get his car the next morning. All in all, not an ideal situation.

"I have a lot of hobbies, you name it I've probably at least tried it. I do a lot of gardening, a little knitting, some reading..." Soo-Yun answered after a while, making Eun-Geom arch his brow in surprise. He didn't know what exactly he expected from her, really, but her answer admittedly wasn't it. "The old lady in me really jumped out there. Yikes," she joked, apparently realizing the dichotomy herself, her laughter prompting a soft chuckle from Eun-Geom. His amusement was quickly replaced, however, by the unfortunate realization that this meant it was his turn to answer the question. His companion, too, clearly thought this, and she even took the initiative of pointing it out.

He hadn't thought about his own answer while asking the question. He wasn't sure he even had an answer. What were his hobbies? He had many when he was younger. Soccer, reading comics, arcade games. At some point, he'd even taken an interest in being a barista after working for a while in a cafe, and got a license for it. Unfortunately, not many of those hobbies at followed him into the first half of his career, much less the second. He barely ever had time to do anything he didn't need to, between work, the support group and his family.

"With a boring job like yours, I'm not too hopeful. Surprise me, please," the girl said in a teasing tone. She didn't sound like she really meant it but... unfortunately he had to concede to the statement. He was boring. Damn. Eun-Geom took a quick sip of his drink.

"I'm joking, of course, I'm sure there is something interesting about you," Soo-Yun offered, making up for his beat of silence. Eun-Geom put down his drink and slowly met her eyes.

"Well," he began, his tone somewhere between embarrassed, joking and deadpan, "I'm sorry to disappoint but... right now, it's probably reading?" He paused for a second. "And swimming." Another short pause, before he added sheepishly, "The military might have killed off a lot of hobbies for me, honestly, so..."

Mood:
I really am boring though...

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
Soo-Yun brought the glass up to drink as she watched Eun-Geom still nurse his beer next to her. He seemed to be much more in control of himself than her. Which probably was a good thing, but that also meant less fun. He began to speak as she set the glass back onto the bar top, telling herself to take a little break. We'd see how long that would last. Self-control and discipline wasn't exactly her strong suit. It was more like she was three suited and that was the one she was missing. When did life become a card game? Why did her brain get so side tracked so easy? Maybe she was two suited.

As he spoke, Soo-Yun lifted her eyebrows and pressed her lips together, attempting to keep herself from laughing. The smile dropped a bit when he explained that the source of his boring nature was probably the military. The woman shrugged in response. "Hey, at least swimming and reading is more interesting than, like," She paused, trying to come up with the ultimate boring hobby out there, "...Stamp collecting..? Is that what ultra boring people do?" Her words came slowly, followed by yet another chuckle. There was a point in her life when she had been like Eun-Geom, no play, all work. That had been a direct effect from her parents otherworldly standards and the rigorous course work in medical school. It hadn't been until....until Won-Sik that she learned what taking it slow and enjoying herself meant.

Those memories now coming to the forefront of her mind made her want to screw the whole break from drinking idea. The pain from all this remembering was only starting to dull after being like a sharp knife slicing her through the heart all day long. Soo-Yun couldn't imagine being anywhere near sober on a day like today when she was barley skating by while being very much so not sober. "The military.." She said fairly suddenly as the conversation between them had lulled a little due to her being lost in thought. "They would hate me, I'm sure. Rules aren't exactly my favorite thing," Soo-Yun confessed, "I mean, like, younger me would have been much better at being in the military, but now I don't think I could handle it all."

She started to wonder things about him. Had he just gotten out of the military or had he gone a long time ago? Was that what got him into the NIS? Eun-Geom obviously had an affinity with laws, since he, y'know, enforced them. Maybe that was the source of his boring-ness. No wonder he didn't have fun if he went from the military to just another form of regimented work. Ew. "How old were you when you enlisted?" She asked. Won-Sik had enlisted right out of high school, wanting to get his two years done and over with so he could move on with his life. He didn't have plans to go to university for long, if at all. It wasn't until he started working at the library that he started classes in research and literature.

God, why couldn't she just forget him today? Soo-Yun didn't want to forget him. She felt that if she stopped grieving, stopped thinking about him, that it meant she didn't care anymore. That she didn't love him. But just for today? When she felt like she couldn't breath. When her guilt was at an all time high. When she just wanted to join him. It drove her to pour more soju in her glass, just wanting to feel completely numb again, because all she felt was pain.
Mood:
you could be ultra boring, which is worse than just normal boring.

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Last edited:
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
"Hey, at least swimming and reading is more interesting than, like," Soo-Yu began to reply, pausing as she tried to think of something. Stamp collecting? He thought to himself β€” that was one of the most boring things he could think of, and something he'd only ever seen his grand-uncle do with zeal. Wait. Did that mean he'd fallen to a level of interest just barely above that? He was only in his thirties. Imagine, like, fifty. God, he was going to be one dry fish.

"...Stamp collecting..?"His companion reiterated his thoughts, tagging on, "Is that what ultra boring people do?" Eun-Geom laughed at her phrasing; was that his first laughter of the day? Sure felt like it. What a dumb thing to honor that with, but something about the slight disgust in Soo-Yun's tone as she contemplated that hobby was just entertaining. He supposed she was a more play than work sort, then. He wondered if she'd evolved to be that way over time, like he had done, except in the opposite direction, or if that was just the way she was. The latter would be surprising to him, mostly because all his friends who'd gone to med school swore on their lives that they'd done nothing but study back then.

Well, though, Soo-Yun could just be some kind of genius.

As she continued to speak, half sounding like she was talking to herself, about how the military would hate her, Soo-Yun gave him the answer to his unasked question: "I mean, like, younger me would have been much better at being in the military, but now I don't think I could handle it all." Right. So something had changed. Was it because of... he didn't like assuming that certain things came about from that disaster. It was an impactful event, for sure, for anyone in the vicinity that day, some just more than others. But he didn't like thinking it was all-consuming.

"How old were you when you enlisted?" The woman asked, halting Eun-Geom's solo mental wandering. He enlisted straight out of high school so he was... nineteen years old? The only gap between his enlistment and graduation was the time it took to console his distraught mother and convince her his choice wasn't as terrible as she seemed to think. Though... perhaps, she'd been right, then.

"Nineteen," he replied, taking another sip of his still-half-full beer, "I enlisted right after high school. My father passed away early, so, I went in and stayed in, until I moved to the NIS." It had the easiest, fastest way to support his family and also one of the few things he felt confident in committing to. Maybe he just wanted order in his life, or a sense of belonging that he'd found hard to feel everywhere else he'd been before. Maybe he just wanted people who could understand him β€” something which he definitely found. There were many stories like his in the military, men, boys with broken homes and difficult situations that they needed to fix but also desired to escape from. He felt for each of them, of course, but at a certain point he came to accept it as normal. His own story became something that he could share casually, without hurting from his own words.

That didn't mean it was the same for others, though. He glanced at Soo-Yun, mulling over whether to ask the next question that popped up in his head. He thought for a second, then decided against it. Sharing bit by bit on his side would be enough to prompt her a little. She said she wanted more time, and he would let her be the one to decide how much was enough.

Mood:
lots of melancholy tonight

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
The way Eun-Geom laughed brought some relative comfort to Soo-Yun. It sounded so genuine, even if it was small. Real laughs, no matter how small, on a day like today were hard to muster. The fact she was the one who was graced with it's appearance made her feel rather special. She was, after all, a stranger who was speaking from inebriated brain cells. Soo-Yun wasn't worthy of hearing a laugh from him. Maybe his close friend did, but she didn't.

As soon as he started to answer her question, Soo-Yun knew that it was going to be her downfall. The spiral that she couldn't control. Eun-Geom saying that he was 19 when he enlisted caused her smile to be a little more forced. Same age as her late fiance. She didn't know why that affected her so much. Maybe it was because Won-Sik may have enlisted at the same age as her drinking companion, but never made it to the age he was today. That made her throat tighten as she swallowed thickly. Her gaze moved to her glass on the table for a moment. Even drinking the soju that filled it seemed meaningless.

The mention of Eun-Geom losing his father made her eyes travel back up to his. Her manufactured smile fell. She gave him a look of gentle sadness. She didn't know what it was like to lose a parent. But she was young when she faced the loss of her close friend. And if the pain of losing her fiance was this great, she wasn't sure how it would feel to lose a father. Not that she was close to her's. His judgmental glances at family dinner were enough to keep her away. The loss of her career was the death of any relationship she had built with her hardhearted father. "I'm sorry to hear about your father. Losing someone isn't easy, especially when you're so young," Soo-Yun expressed. It's hard to lose someone at any age, but in youth she was certain that it was much more difficult. Or maybe that was wrong. Here she was, thirty years old and still struggling to bear it.

Her finger lightly traced the edge of her glass as her head hung. Her eyes trained on the bar below. The weight of everything bearing down on her. Pound after pound being added to her chest like she couldn't breath. Soo-Yun was barely stumbling along with the pressure; it was almost unbearable. She let out a quiet but heavy sigh. Biting down on her lower lip, she willed away her want to cry. She hated crying. She hated it even more when there were other people around. No body like dealing with an overemotional person. It was awkward and messy. She didn't want people to feel obligated to pity her. Soo-Yun would rather they just moved on with their day.

Sitting up, she ran a hand through her hair. She avoided making any eye contract with Eun-Geom. A deep breath in, letting it out slowly. "Sorry," Her voice was small with a disheartened tone, "Everything just feels so heavy." The weight of her words falling like bricks. If the man she was sitting with was smart, he'd know this was his way in. Soo-Yun couldn't just sit here and laugh along anymore. She couldn't hold a conversation about favorite colors or interesting books. Her mind was too flooded with hopeless thoughts and somber memories to care. She just wanted some type of relief. Even alcohol and pills weren't giving that to her.
Mood:
this pain suffocating

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
The mention of his father was when Soo-Yun's light smile finally fell and, despite himself, Eun-Geom felt a twinge of guilt for putting that sad glint in her eyes. Losing someone isn't easy, she said, and he wholeheartedly agreed. No matter how many times you go through it, grief never becomes easier to deal with. If anything, it only ever seemed to get harder every time; as if you were a Jenga tower slowly and surely losing its pieces, struggling to keep on standing. And some people were better at balancing than others.

"Sorry, everything just feels so heavy," Soo-Yun finally muttered after her long moment of fighting back tears, her figure folding into itself like she wanted to shrink out of existence. His heart clenched at the all-too-familiar sight and his throat grew dry, but he didn't pick up his bottle β€” he knew it would be difficult to swallow right now. He waited for a moment, in case there were still words she wanted to get out. But there was only silence as the woman in front of him crumbled.

Eun-Geom took a deep breath, as his hand went up to rest lightly on her shoulder, a hopeful but perhaps futile attempt to offer her at least some level of comfort. To tell her without words that he wasn't going to let her fall. A few seconds passed by, before he finally decided to say the words he'd come here all this way to say: "You can tell me about it, Soo-Yun. What happened, what you're feeling, anything you have to say. Let it out, it's okay. "

Mood:
empathetic

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
As she sat there, trying to keep her composure, there were quite a few ways that Soo-Yun saw the next few moments going. After the long pause, she expected maybe an "I'm sorry" or an "I know it's hard" or her absolute favorite, "keep your chin up, it'll get better." God, she was just so tired. Tired of the fake empathy. Tired of feeling so helpless. So damn tired of waiting for things to "get better" like everyone said they would. She wasn't going anywhere. Soo-Yun had been stuck, no trapped, in this state for 5 whole years now. Where was the escape route that everyone promised existed? It seemed like a myth to her.

Yet none of those phrases came. Instead she felt a warmth, a hand that was placed gently on her shoulder. Her eyes traveled from where they were glued to the bar, to Eun-Geom's arm as she slowly made her way to his face. Glossy eyes locking onto his.

And then he finally spoke. "You can tell me about it, Soo-Yun." Other people had said that, but would he listen? Like really listen? "What happened, what you're feeling, anything you have to say." Anything? So when she showed all the skeletons in her closet he wouldn't run? When all of her demons were out in the open, he wouldn't call her a freak? "Let it out," She wanted to, everything within her was telling her that this was something she needed to do but would that turn out alright? "it's okay." Was it? Soo-Yun was absolutely silent, almost frozen in place. He sounded so genuine. Almost like he had been dying to say those words to her. Eun-Geom's expression, his voice, his gentle touch on her shoulder, all of it, it made her feel so safe.

It felt like the dam had been chipped at slowly, until now it was starting to give way. She just wanted these pictures, these sounds, these smells, and these tortuous thoughts out of her head. Maybe, just maybe, Eun-Geom cared enough to help her. That he could take all those things so they weren't just trapped inside her head any more.

Soo-Yun sucked in a staggered breath, letting out in the same shaking manner. Her eyes fell gently away from her companion's face. As she did so, a few tears she had been trying so hard to hold back began to fall despite her internal protest. She sniffled quietly, pulling a hand up to wipe her cheeks quickly while she prepared herself to speak. "I was..uh..." She swallowed in an attempt to muster more than the thin and frail voice she started with, "I was on one of the top floors with my...my finance when it happened. With everyone trying to evacuate it was practically impossible to move." She couldn't look up at him. If she did, she'd loose courage. "It all happened so fast, you know. It was like one minute we were walking out of the store with a tux and the next..." Her voice broke slightly, she shook her head trying to push all those memories out. Could she even say his name out loud? Could she even continue?

Her eyes shut tightly, she felt like she could hardly breath. The emotional pain hurt so bad, it was like she could feel an ache within her bones. "It's just so unfair," Soo-Yun almost cried, "Why did he die and why did I live?" She ground her teeth together, her face screwed up almost like someone had actually beaten her. "And I lived to be what? A crippled washed up doctor?" Her voice was barely a whisper as she scoffed over the statement's irony. It almost went without saying, she shouldn't have survived at all. Soo-Yun, through out all of this, kept her eyes low, but finally, she raised her gaze to steadily meet Eun-Geom's. Her face slowly turning more flushed and her eyes more swollen. This was agony. "I just don't know what to do. It plays over and over. I just want- All I want is for it to stop."

And there is was. What had happened. What she was feeling. Anything at all. All Eun-Geom had asked for, he had gotten. And did Soo-Yun feel any better? It all depended on the next few words. She needed him to make good on what he had said. That it was okay for her to say these things out loud. Because she couldn't take another empty promise.
Mood:
i just want it to stop

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
Hwang Eun-Geom
give me the pain, I'll hold it for you
Soo-Yun's start was shaky, the tone of someone who was trying hard not to be overcome by whatever was brewing inside her mind. Eun-Geom found himself shifting closer to her, his arms moving from the counter to rest on his thighs instead as he turned to face her fully. His fingers clasped together, crushing themselves increasingly painfully as she talked about how they'd been stuck, how the evacuation had ironically left them trapped. All this time, and it was still impossible for his first thought upon hearing that not to be: I did that to them. That was my fault. He told himself to shut up. Those thoughts were just selfish whines in the face of the victims' suffering.

"It all happened so fast, you know. It was like one minute we were walking out of the store with a tux and the next..." she trailed off, head hung low as she shut her eyes β€” maybe she was trying to close herself off from the trauma, just somehow, but Eun-Geom knew from experience that it wouldn't help at all. The lonely darkness just hurts more, so much that sleeping itself becomes the nightmare.

"It's just so unfair. Why did he die and why did I live?" Soo-Yun continued, voice gaining a tinge of despair that made his heart clench. She looked so alone sitting there, folding into herself like she wanted to disappear, and Eun-Geom felt the sudden need to reach out to her. It felt like if someone didn't hold onto her, she might really be gone, soon.

"And I lived to be what? A crippled washed up doctor?" She questioned with an agonizing sense of self-mockery, only adding to that disquieting feeling that he had. Why didn't I die? β€” she seemed to be asking instead. Why am I here, still? The desire that was hidden in those words scared him. He released a silent, shaky breath as Soo-Yun raised her gaze to meet his at last, eyes gleaming with untold emotion. How many years had she spent, keeping all that to herself and dying on her own?

All I want is for it to stop. That was her heartbreaking conclusion. He swallowed hard; he couldn't be more glad that he had seen her back then, that he had asked her this. The quiet but curious gaze of the bartender floated toward them and Eun-Geom felt the need to shield her imprint itself next to his urge to reach for her fragile figure, to save it from its destination called shattering. Instinct fought with rationality for a moment but had a rare landslide victory in his brain.

Wordlessly, he pulled her into a hug, albeit a loose one. "You've endured well," he whispered to her, words that he hoped she could believe, "it must've been hard, Soo-Yun, but you can cry now if you want to."

Mood:
"hold onto me"

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Soo-Yun
A ameuSHhen1Tn2ba

Outfit:
xxx
 
Jeong Soo-Yun
as fragile as a house of cards, i stand
There wasn't a clear picture in Soo-Yun's mind how the next few minutes would play out. The whole time she had known Eun-Geom, which was probably close to a whopping two hours, he had subverted every expectation she had about how something like this would go. He had said things like he was reading her mind, he was gentle yet firm, he wasn't judgmental as she threw back shot after shot. What spoke even louder volumes was the fact that he was listening to her so intently. His features shifted as she retold her story. Eun-Geom hung on to every word she said. And no one, not even her own mother, had done that for her.

So the next few moments were a complete mystery for her. She had never gotten to this point with someone this engaged in what she was saying. There was a small pause. Eyes catching each other. When Soo-Yun peered into them, it was almost like looking, not just through a window, but into a mirror. The pain, the desperation, the anguish, they were all there staring back at her. Was it purely empathy? Or was his pain just as real as her own? It didn't matter. Because Soo-Yun had never felt so seen while sitting under his gaze.

That moment, while short lived, made a very strong impression. What happened next she very unprepared for. Eun-Geom moved closer, bringing his arms around her, and gently held her closer. The hug wasn't firm, nor very confident, but Soo-Yun felt herself relax into him. The next words that he uttered she had never heard in her life, "You've endured well." Her lip quivered as she tried to hold onto the last shreds of composure she had. After all these years, no one had told her that she was doing well. They only asked her why she wasn't better. Why she was still clinging to something that was long gone. Why she was still mourning something that was no more. Why she was still wounded by something that was over. "it must've been hard, Soo-Yun, but you can cry now if you want to."

There wasn't an ounce of willpower left in her soul. She felt her body shake as she tried to muffle sobs. Her hands, that were loosely hanging by her sides, came up slowly to her face, forming fists in an attempt to somewhat cover herself. Was this causing a scene? Most likely. Did she particularly care? Within the shielding embrace of her drinking partner and his comforting words telling her that it was ok to cry, Soo-Yun didn't even notice anyone else around them. After a few moments, she began to calm, her tears subsided and all that was left were shaking breaths.

Though she was left with a bit of head ache (since that always happens after a good cry), Soo-Yun almost felt lighter. Like a heavy burden was eased off her back. She wondered how much longer until it came weighing down on her once more, crushing her underneath. Maybe the beer and half a bottle of soju were starting to do what they were good for. Or maybe letting things out with someone who cared, or was at least very convincing in his appearance, listening to what she had to say. It was abnormal for her to be this vulnerable with a stranger, but Eun-Geom had made it so easy. Then again it could be the alcohol and the pills talking.

The woman pulled back, sitting up in her seat once again. She smoothed her hair and hastily brought her hands to wipe her tear stained cheeks once again. She wasn't sure what to say in that moment. Her eyes off in that far off place that she tended to go. Fading in and out of dismal reality but not really going to a better place within her mind. Hand resting on her own leg, she tapped her thumb nervously against her thigh. "Thank you," Soo-Yun spoke out in a hushed tone, there wasn't much else to say to him. The simple words echoing how grateful she truly was for his company. She wasn't sure where she would be at this moment had he not asked her for drinks. That thought was almost enough to make her feel sober, if that was even possible.
Mood:
don't let go

Location:
bar

Interactions:
Eun-Geom
( triples triples )

Outfit:
lets go with this
 
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