Viewpoint Assigned Couples vs Natural Progression

[Zodia195]

I am tempted to revamp an old RPG of mine here at some point, but I wanted to ask a question first since I wanted to know peoples' preferences when it comes to romance. In that rpg, I did have assigned couples due to the story revolving around soul mates and each couple represented a certain species of mystical creature. I know times have changed since then as I see more RPGs involving romance like a more natural progression. Still I was curious.

 

[arato.]

I prefer writing natural romances.

I'm not against pre-planning at all and I think it's extremely unrealistic to have a setting where nobody has a partner too. That said, I think it's difficult to plan character dynamics before even writing them at all. That's also why I never include personality sections in my character sheets. It makes perfect sense to include them and I'm probably the odd one out in this regard, but it's kind of jarring to write an entire personality for a character and then realize it doesn't fit them at all. This works if you're reusing character(s), but I feel like a lot of players make new ones for every game that they join. I think the same applies for writing romance in a Roleplay too. You can discuss beforehand, but in theory versus execution can go wildly differently and there's not much you can do if a pre-planned couple doesn't have chemistry (unless you're willing to rewrite one or both of the characters).

In general, though, I'm sure you could easily get away with using both.

 

[Inno]

When it comes to romance, I do not like having assigned couples. In fact, even in pre-planning I don't want to discuss whether characters will get together. I prefer a natural progression to happen over the course of the roleplay and if characters have something to develop after obstacles/hardships example they've been through stuff that has bonded them then it would be cool to explore it. Anything premade is just going under the assumption that my character likes the other character without any real reason as to why plus there's a chance they might not even like them so already plotted out romance is a no go for me. Let it happen naturally.

 

[Spoiled Bread]

If the players don't know each other well, I suggest natural progression. The problem with the concept of soulmates is that the couple is expected to work well, or at least ends well with each other. This can be really hard when the players don't mesh well with each other. Alternatively, you can make the pair assigned and then embrace every flaws that come with it. Oh, your soulmate is an ass and you cant stand him? suck to be you then! It can make good story too if that's the vibe you're going for.

 

[Zodia195]

I prefer writing natural romances.

I'm not against pre-planning at all and I think it's extremely unrealistic to have a setting where nobody has a partner too. That said, I think it's difficult to plan character dynamics before even writing them at all. That's also why I never include personality sections in my character sheets. It makes perfect sense to include them and I'm probably the odd one out in this regard, but it's kind of jarring to write an entire personality for a character and then realize it doesn't fit them at all. This works if you're reusing character(s), but I feel like a lot of players make new ones for every game that they join. I think the same applies for writing romance in a Roleplay too. You can discuss beforehand, but in theory versus execution can go wildly differently and there's not much you can do if a pre-planned couple doesn't have chemistry (unless you're willing to rewrite one or both of the characters).

In general, though, I'm sure you could easily get away with using both.

Thanks for the responses, I really appreciate it! Totally different note, but it's refreshing to join an RPG site and you get responses lol. Anyway, Arato, I am an "Old school" player where back in the day (early 2000's), we didn't have coding nor detailed Char sheets and I prefer simpler char sheets because I feel chars change through an RPG anyway and don't like very detailed sheets. That be another great discussion and poll actually for another thread.

I personally am fine with both couple scenarios. I think it's because before I even gotten into Written RPGs I was already a writer and was use to pre-planning stuff and that included couples. I also love problem solving so it was fun to figure out HOW to get the couples to hook up. Plus it helped guaranteed one of my chars would end up with something. In a free-for-all, you're not always guaranteed that happy ending. But as long as an RPG does have romance in it though, I'll still be invested since that is a huge factor if I join an RPG or not.

 

[Dark Hero]

I like the idea of assigned couples, it reminds me of how Town of Salem worked, and how you have to learn to cooperate with the person you're assigned to.

 

[Dark Hero]

I prefer writing natural romances.

I'm not against pre-planning at all and I think it's extremely unrealistic to have a setting where nobody has a partner too. That said, I think it's difficult to plan character dynamics before even writing them at all. That's also why I never include personality sections in my character sheets. It makes perfect sense to include them and I'm probably the odd one out in this regard, but it's kind of jarring to write an entire personality for a character and then realize it doesn't fit them at all. This works if you're reusing character(s), but I feel like a lot of players make new ones for every game that they join. I think the same applies for writing romance in a Roleplay too. You can discuss beforehand, but in theory versus execution can go wildly differently and there's not much you can do if a pre-planned couple doesn't have chemistry (unless you're willing to rewrite one or both of the characters).

In general, though, I'm sure you could easily get away with using both.

Man if this turns out to be some type of dating sim rp, I'm gonna be school bro who's the guide.

 

[arato.]

Thanks for the responses, I really appreciate it! Totally different note, but it's refreshing to join an RPG site and you get responses lol. Anyway, Arato, I am an "Old school" player where back in the day (early 2000's), we didn't have coding nor detailed Char sheets and I prefer simpler char sheets because I feel chars change through an RPG anyway and don't like very detailed sheets. That be another great discussion and poll actually for another thread.

I personally am fine with both couple scenarios. I think it's because before I even gotten into Written RPGs I was already a writer and was use to pre-planning stuff and that included couples. I also love problem solving so it was fun to figure out HOW to get the couples to hook up. Plus it helped guaranteed one of my chars would end up with something. In a free-for-all, you're not always guaranteed that happy ending. But as long as an RPG does have romance in it though, I'll still be invested since that is a huge factor if I join an RPG or not.

I see. I presume you're fairly new here, so welcome from one newbie to another.

Anyway, I've been Roleplaying on forums since 2012, off and on, and there's never really been a time where character sheets weren't the norm. Honestly, though, I was on Chatango and MSN before then, so I much prefer life without them. Back to the writing romance, though, I think it also boils down to whether or not you trust your players.

It totally makes sense to have a pre-planned romance in something like, say, a show or book that you might be writing as you're essentially the sole owner of that world. As for a Roleplay, you're still technically the final word and the "god" of it, but you also "share" that world with others. If you trust your players well, then have at it. You might be running a risk of condemning someone else to having a character with a bland personality or unfriendly player on accident if you don't though. And as another implied, there's really no reward or reason to root for a character or pairing if you already know they're going to be endgame though.

That said, it still doesn't matter what's popularity or what people want in the end, because it's your game that you'll be reviving. Whatever you decide is just a decision your players will have to deal with if they want to play in the end. I hope you're able to find a balance that appeals to player wants while also appealing to your wants as a GM though.

Good luck reviving your game too.

 

[Uxie]

from what i've seen on my time on this site, i do think you'll be fine either way— most of the time it boils down to everyone's personal preferences, so it's something you can poll with the actual players you end up recruiting for your roleplay (´･ᴗ･ ` ) you could save the pairings you had in mind and offer them up when the time comes!

 

[Onmyoji]

I like assigned couples when it's in 1x1 romance roleplay. because that's kinda the purpose of it, you go in already knowing who your character will end up with.

In group I'd probably prefer "natural" no an extent, because I believe that character interactions that impact all players involved (such as having their characters be in a relationship) needs to be agreed upon by both players. Which makes it sort of a mix of both, it can be natural in a way that the players decide for their characters to have relationship during the roleplay, and also assigned because the players are the ones who assign them.

However, if soulmates is the major theme in your rp, having assigned couples actually supports the theme and gives it a twist, when the players themselves don't know who their character is assigned to, it can be fun and refreshing!

 

[Edric Blight]

I love slow burn romance and a natural hook up.

 

[nerdy tangents]

So given the premise you described it makes the most sense to do both.

Soulmates function in the same way arranged marriages do. You are assigned your partner, that’s the whole point.

However just because your soul mates/married does not mean you automatically have to be in love and happy. The thing that makes the premise fun is that everyone is going to react to the scenario differently.

Add into the fact that there will be different species (and presumably each one has its own culture or interpretation of soul mates and their importance) well you got a perfect premise for drama.

So yeah the initial pairing is assigned but you aren’t telling people how to write the actual story. Just hey you are paired with Player X, the two of you can decide between yourselves how your characters feel about their situation.

 

[Pretty Little Creature]

It depends on what sort of group you want to attract and how you as a gm want to navigate your story. I have noticed if one enjoys busy ooc or discord that pre planning is super big. If you have a small group and a tame ooc your probably okay with pairing.

Its up to what works for the dynamic and the people you accept.

I semi detest pre planning. I cant always commit narritives change and evolve. Role playing is an in the moment malluable tale. Its hard to stay commited to one idea

 

[Dark Hero]

I like assigned couples when it's in 1x1 romance roleplay. because that's kinda the purpose of it, you go in already knowing who your character will end up with.

In group I'd probably prefer "natural" no an extent, because I believe that character interactions that impact all players involved (such as having their characters be in a relationship) needs to be agreed upon by both players. Which makes it sort of a mix of both, it can be natural in a way that the players decide for their characters to have relationship during the roleplay, and also assigned because the players are the ones who assign them.

However, if soulmates is the major theme in your rp, having assigned couples actually supports the theme and gives it a twist, when the players themselves don't know who their character is assigned to, it can be fun and refreshing!

I agree with this, the only issue I have with it is that I think it Shakes things up to be assigned someone as your character's main squeeze.

I could see it being an issue if people felt it took away from a serious game/roleplay or if it directly went against how a character wanted their character to progress narrative lyrics.

Really I see it as a safety net for games where you rely on having next of kin, or just silly match ups.

 

[Zodia195]

All of this feedback is great, thank you! Also I have no plans to revamp this RPG yet since I already have a current RPG up and am still in the process of moving parts of it over here, just having issues since I am still getting use to this site's mechanics.

I do plan on making an Interest Thread for this RPG though to get more feedback though because if I don't do the soulmate route, I plan on making major changes. Just know my RPGs tend to be narratively driven and yeah I enjoy heavy OOC action because that's a sign to me that the RPG is still active even if the IC action has slowed down.

 

[Dark Hero]

I will study the setting if ai get to be the best-friend/guide character

 

[GojiBean]

I am tempted to revamp an old RPG of mine here at some point, but I wanted to ask a question first since I wanted to know peoples' preferences when it comes to romance. In that rpg, I did have assigned couples due to the story revolving around soul mates and each couple represented a certain species of mystical creature. I know times have changed since then as I see more RPGs involving romance like a more natural progression. Still I was curious.

Personally, I see both of these forms of romantic role-playing as legitimate (even if I do have a preference for dynamic development, lol). They offer their own unique sets of challenges, and they share a lot in common as well.

Let's get to breaking them down!!

Pre-Determined Pairings​

The Idea

Pre-determined pairings accommodate the desire for rapid romantic progression. A lot of people out there, and I used to be one of them, so I get it, want to enjoy the exploration of romance rather than have to overcome a long journey to find out if it might be possible. And there's nothing wrong with this.

Sometimes it's even a good step towards improving your mental health to just jump into a story where there's instant attraction between the characters and the emphasis is more on the discovery of love in the short-term rather than having to wait half the book for even just a sense of attraction to start taking root.

When we read romantic tales, or when we get to experience the romance as the participants of a role-play, and when things are going well and we look forward to every new post, it releases dopamine. Dopamine is known as the pleasure hormone, and it gives us a sense of excitement, elation, and feeling light on our feet. It's a very happy hormone and has a lot of benefits for us when we experience it.

So, if you feel a desire to be able to jump into something that makes you happy right away these are never a bad idea to try.

The Challenge

The primary challenge of pre-determined pairings come in the form of "once they realize they're in love, then what?"

Finding love is the whole point, right? And if we do pre-determined pairings they usually find out they're in love sooner than later. So where do we go from here?

It has a relatively simple solution... On paper.

The Simple (on paper) Solution

On paper, the solution is: Introduce obstacles to the union.

The reason obstacles to the union, not necessarily their love, need to be introduced is because stories are built on conflict. No conflict, whether internal or external, equals no story.

It is one of the very few genuine rules of story telling that you must have conflict to have a story. And conflict is most commonly born from obstacles which stand in the way of the desires and goals of the main characters (though, there are a few other ways to introduce conflict).

These can be almost anything ranging from the physical distance between them as people belonging to different nations or even continents, to larger social/political divides preventing them from being together the way they want or feel they need to be. But it's always best to choose obstacles which also serve the function of enhancing your character's personal journey.

In the past when I participated in such RP's, I always started by asking a few questions of myself:

* Why is my character attracted to this person?
* How can my character overcome the obstacles between them?
* How can the obstacles also serve my character's personal growth?
* How can my character remain true to themselves while enduring all the changes that come from the journey of overcoming those obstacles?

These four questions serve as the basis of my character's essence. They need a good reason to be attracted to the other character, they need obstacles to overcome which serve my character's personal growth, and I as the writer need to find a way to help them overcome those obstacles, learn, and grow, all while remaining true to their essence as a character rather than letting them go off scripts and start talking or behaving in ways they shouldn't.

Some of the easiest obstacles would be things like distance, social/political divides, racial divides, historical divides (they come from neighboring cities who have hated each other for centuries), etc. And if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

The Conclusion

Pre-Determined pairings will always have their place in storytelling, and there really isn't anything wrong with using it as a quick and easy way to enjoy the pleasure of the dopamine release we get from reading something that makes us happy like a good ol' developing romance.

Dynamic Development​

The Idea

Dynamic Development is exactly what it sounds like. The characters start off with absolutely nothing between them except for the fact that by some circumstance they come into contact and are forced to spend time together, and over their journey they have the chance to discover something more.

Key word being "chance," as in there's also a chance they won't discover anything romantic at all.

These kinds of stories are usually more suited to people like myself who prefer discovering their character through a sense of natural story progression and letting anything else develop as it may.

The Challenge

The big challenge of stories of this nature are that they tend to die off quickly because the stories can go so many different ways and have so many chances to stall or become uninteresting that often times they just fizzle out.

So the big challenge here is keeping things interesting, and also doing what you can to make sure the story takes certain paths that help to facilitate personal character growth for everyone involved. Not just you.

When you do a pre-determined pairing RP, it's a lot easier to forget everyone else and just focus on yourself. You can usually also get away with letting your partner worry about themselves and their character, and trust that they'll do what's right by that character to keep things going.

But in a dynamic development scenario, that's a lot harder to do. Especially if you're the GM. Whether it's a 1x1 or a larger group RP doesn't really matter. The focus is on the world around the characters and the attention to detail it will require to make sure it's interesting and facilitates growth for all parties concerned.

In such scenarios, I have to ask myself the following:

* What would a romance bring for my character's personal growth?
* If my character begins taking romantic interest in another character, what does that character bring to the table that benefits my character's life?
* What would my character bring to the table for this potential romantic partner?

Sometimes a romance isn't what a character needs, and it's important to consider that possibility whenever you get involved with an RP that's designed to let come what may instead of providing pre-determined pairings. It might not be what we want, but it's a reality we have to face sometimes.

The Solution

Sadly, there is no "easy" solution for the main challenge of dynamic development.

You just have to be a good GM, and a good writer.

You have to be able to facilitate the personal growth of the characters and create events and situations which are in service to the end goal of the story at large because the option of romance is always secondary and a slave to the primary narrative.

For example, let's say you are in a fantasy RPG RP and romance is the "potential" goal for your character and someone else's whom you want your character to romance.

What's the primary narrative? It's whatever the actual goal of the big journey is. For the sake of argument, we'll say it's a potential world-ending threat in the form of a dark God being released upon the world.

What about this situation would facilitate a romance between your character and the character you want them to become romantic with?

Consider the following question, as it's by far the most important one to ask when trying to romantically pair someone dynamically: What does your character bring to the table which both compliments and benefits the life of the target romantic partner?

Dynamic development is all about going the old fashioned route of having your character step outside their comfort zone (or stay in it, if they're a more sociable person) and go out of their way to try involving themselves in the life of the target romantic partner. How can you do that? Well, your character can...

* Ask "how are you doing/feeling?" whenever something big happens, or if they are reuniting after some in-world time apart
* Ask about mutually shared interests to start a discussion, and try to keep it friendly and engaging like you would in real life
* Ask about and compliment their dreams (very few things inspire a sense of connection and gratitude more than someone complimenting and reinforcing our dreams)
* Ask about their history and offer support and positive reinforcement for any and all revealed information

Noticing a trend? All of these points are starting with "ask," because that's how we get to know people. We ask questions.

The more questions your character goes out of their way to ask, the more likely they are to get to know this other character to a degree no other character does. And the more likely, though still not guaranteed, they are to begin sparking a deeper and more romantic connetion.

The Conclusion

Dynamic development RP's, as stated before, are usually more for those people who prefer to undergo a journey and let come what may. It's a long and arduous task, especially for the GM since they have to run the RP overall and not just focus on their character. But for those who can endure the journey and have the patience to wait it out and see if their desire for romance bears fruit, this is the way to go and it's worth sticking it out until the end.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

Anywho, that's about it from me!

Nobody asked for this long-winded breakdown, but you got it anyway! Lol!

Cheers!

 

[Dark Hero]

Personally, I see both of these forms of romantic role-playing as legitimate (even if I do have a preference for dynamic development, lol). They offer their own unique sets of challenges, and they share a lot in common as well.

Let's get to breaking them down!!

Pre-Determined Pairings​

The Idea

Pre-determined pairings accommodate the desire for rapid romantic progression. A lot of people out there, and I used to be one of them, so I get it, want to enjoy the exploration of romance rather than have to overcome a long journey to find out if it might be possible. And there's nothing wrong with this.

Sometimes it's even a good step towards improving your mental health to just jump into a story where there's instant attraction between the characters and the emphasis is more on the discovery of love in the short-term rather than having to wait half the book for even just a sense of attraction to start taking root.

When we read romantic tales, or when we get to experience the romance as the participants of a role-play, and when things are going well and we look forward to every new post, it releases dopamine. Dopamine is known as the pleasure hormone, and it gives us a sense of excitement, elation, and feeling light on our feet. It's a very happy hormone and has a lot of benefits for us when we experience it.

So, if you feel a desire to be able to jump into something that makes you happy right away these are never a bad idea to try.

The Challenge

The primary challenge of pre-determined pairings come in the form of "once they realize they're in love, then what?"

Finding love is the whole point, right? And if we do pre-determined pairings they usually find out they're in love sooner than later. So where do we go from here?

It has a relatively simple solution... On paper.

The Simple (on paper) Solution

On paper, the solution is: Introduce obstacles to the union.

The reason obstacles to the union, not necessarily their love, need to be introduced is because stories are built on conflict. No conflict, whether internal or external, equals no story.

It is one of the very few genuine rules of story telling that you must have conflict to have a story. And conflict is most commonly born from obstacles which stand in the way of the desires and goals of the main characters (though, there are a few other ways to introduce conflict).

These can be almost anything ranging from the physical distance between them as people belonging to different nations or even continents, to larger social/political divides preventing them from being together the way they want or feel they need to be. But it's always best to choose obstacles which also serve the function of enhancing your character's personal journey.

In the past when I participated in such RP's, I always started by asking a few questions of myself:

* Why is my character attracted to this person?
* How can my character overcome the obstacles between them?
* How can the obstacles also serve my character's personal growth?
* How can my character remain true to themselves while enduring all the changes that come from the journey of overcoming those obstacles?

These four questions serve as the basis of my character's essence. They need a good reason to be attracted to the other character, they need obstacles to overcome which serve my character's personal growth, and I as the writer need to find a way to help them overcome those obstacles, learn, and grow, all while remaining true to their essence as a character rather than letting them go off scripts and start talking or behaving in ways they shouldn't.

Some of the easiest obstacles would be things like distance, social/political divides, racial divides, historical divides (they come from neighboring cities who have hated each other for centuries), etc. And if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

The Conclusion

Pre-Determined pairings will always have their place in storytelling, and there really isn't anything wrong with using it as a quick and easy way to enjoy the pleasure of the dopamine release we get from reading something that makes us happy like a good ol' developing romance.

Dynamic Development​

The Idea

Dynamic Development is exactly what it sounds like. The characters start off with absolutely nothing between them except for the fact that by some circumstance they come into contact and are forced to spend time together, and over their journey they have the chance to discover something more.

Key word being "chance," as in there's also a chance they won't discover anything romantic at all.

These kinds of stories are usually more suited to people like myself who prefer discovering their character through a sense of natural story progression and letting anything else develop as it may.

The Challenge

The big challenge of stories of this nature are that they tend to die of quickly because the stories can go so many different ways and have so many chances to stall or become uninteresting that often times they just fizzle out.

So the big challenge here is keeping things interesting, and also doing what you can to make sure the story takes certain paths that help to facilitate personal character growth for everyone involved. Not just you.

When you do a pre-determined pairing RP, it's a lot easier to forget everyone else and just focus on yourself. You can usually also get away with letting your partner worry about themselves and their character, and trust that they'll do what's right by that character to keep things going.

But in a dynamic development scenario, that's a lot harder to do. Especially if you're the GM. Whether it's a 1x1 or a larger group RP doesn't really matter. The focus is on the world around the characters and the attention to detail it will require to make sure it's interesting and facilitates growth for all parties concerned.

In such scenarios, I have to ask myself the following:

* What would a romance bring for my character's personal growth?
* If my character begins taking romantic interest in another character, what does that character bring to the table that benefits my character's life?
* What would my character bring to the table for this potential romantic partner?

Sometimes a romance isn't what a character needs, and it's important to consider that possibility whenever you get involved with an RP that's designed to let come what may instead of providing pre-determined pairings. It might not be what we want, but it's a reality we have to face sometimes.

The Solution

Sadly, there is no "easy" solution for the main challenge of dynamic development.

You just have to be a good GM, and a good writer.

You have to be able to facilitate the personal growth of the characters and create events and situations which are in service to the end goal of the story at large because the option of romance is always secondary and a slave to the primary narrative.

For example, let's say you are in a fantasy RPG RP and romance is the "potential" goal for your character and someone else's whom you want your character to romance.

What's the primary narrative? It's whatever the actual goal of the big journey is. For the sake of argument, we'll say it's a potential world-ending threat in the form of a dark God being released upon the world.

What about this situation would facilitate a romance between your character and the character you want them to become romantic with?

Consider the following question, as it's by far the most important one to ask when trying to romantically pair someone dynamically: What does your character bring to the table which both compliments and benefits the life of the target romantic partner?

Dynamic development is all about going the old fashioned route of having your character step outside their comfort zone (or stay in it, if they're a more sociable person) and go out of their way to try involving themselves in the life of the target romantic partner. How can you do that? Well, your character can...

* Ask "how are you doing/feeling?" whenever something big happens, or if they are reuniting after some in-world time apart
* Ask about mutually shared interests to start a discussion, and try to keep it friendly and engaging like you would in real life
* Ask about and compliment their dreams (very few things inspire a sense of connection and gratitude more than someone complimenting and reinforcing our dreams)
* Ask about their history and offer support and positive reinforcement for any and all revealed information

Noticing a trend? All of these points are starting with "ask," because that's how we get to know people. We ask questions.

The more questions your character goes out of their way to ask, the more likely they are to get to know this other character to a degree no other character does. And the more likely, though still not guaranteed, they are to begin sparking a deeper and more romantic connetion.

The Conclusion

Dynamic development RP's, as stated before, are usually more for those people who prefer to undergo a journey and let come what may. It's a long and arduous task, especially for the GM since they have to run the RP overall and not just focus on their character. But for those who can endure the journey and have the patience to wait it out and see if their desire for romance bears fruit, this is the way to go and it's worth sticking it out until the end.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

Anywho, that's about it from me!

Nobody asked for this long-winded breakdown, but you got it anyway! Lol!

Cheers!

Jesus christ, and I thought I knew about this stuff. Good read thank you broaki.

 

[Zodia195]

Personally, I see both of these forms of romantic role-playing as legitimate (even if I do have a preference for dynamic development, lol). They offer their own unique sets of challenges, and they share a lot in common as well.

Let's get to breaking them down!!

Pre-Determined Pairings​

The Idea

Pre-determined pairings accommodate the desire for rapid romantic progression. A lot of people out there, and I used to be one of them, so I get it, want to enjoy the exploration of romance rather than have to overcome a long journey to find out if it might be possible. And there's nothing wrong with this.

Sometimes it's even a good step towards improving your mental health to just jump into a story where there's instant attraction between the characters and the emphasis is more on the discovery of love in the short-term rather than having to wait half the book for even just a sense of attraction to start taking root.

When we read romantic tales, or when we get to experience the romance as the participants of a role-play, and when things are going well and we look forward to every new post, it releases dopamine. Dopamine is known as the pleasure hormone, and it gives us a sense of excitement, elation, and feeling light on our feet. It's a very happy hormone and has a lot of benefits for us when we experience it.

So, if you feel a desire to be able to jump into something that makes you happy right away these are never a bad idea to try.

The Challenge

The primary challenge of pre-determined pairings come in the form of "once they realize they're in love, then what?"

Finding love is the whole point, right? And if we do pre-determined pairings they usually find out they're in love sooner than later. So where do we go from here?

It has a relatively simple solution... On paper.

The Simple (on paper) Solution

On paper, the solution is: Introduce obstacles to the union.

The reason obstacles to the union, not necessarily their love, need to be introduced is because stories are built on conflict. No conflict, whether internal or external, equals no story.

It is one of the very few genuine rules of story telling that you must have conflict to have a story. And conflict is most commonly born from obstacles which stand in the way of the desires and goals of the main characters (though, there are a few other ways to introduce conflict).

These can be almost anything ranging from the physical distance between them as people belonging to different nations or even continents, to larger social/political divides preventing them from being together the way they want or feel they need to be. But it's always best to choose obstacles which also serve the function of enhancing your character's personal journey.

In the past when I participated in such RP's, I always started by asking a few questions of myself:

* Why is my character attracted to this person?
* How can my character overcome the obstacles between them?
* How can the obstacles also serve my character's personal growth?
* How can my character remain true to themselves while enduring all the changes that come from the journey of overcoming those obstacles?

These four questions serve as the basis of my character's essence. They need a good reason to be attracted to the other character, they need obstacles to overcome which serve my character's personal growth, and I as the writer need to find a way to help them overcome those obstacles, learn, and grow, all while remaining true to their essence as a character rather than letting them go off scripts and start talking or behaving in ways they shouldn't.

Some of the easiest obstacles would be things like distance, social/political divides, racial divides, historical divides (they come from neighboring cities who have hated each other for centuries), etc. And if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

The Conclusion

Pre-Determined pairings will always have their place in storytelling, and there really isn't anything wrong with using it as a quick and easy way to enjoy the pleasure of the dopamine release we get from reading something that makes us happy like a good ol' developing romance.

Dynamic Development​

The Idea

Dynamic Development is exactly what it sounds like. The characters start off with absolutely nothing between them except for the fact that by some circumstance they come into contact and are forced to spend time together, and over their journey they have the chance to discover something more.

Key word being "chance," as in there's also a chance they won't discover anything romantic at all.

These kinds of stories are usually more suited to people like myself who prefer discovering their character through a sense of natural story progression and letting anything else develop as it may.

The Challenge

The big challenge of stories of this nature are that they tend to die off quickly because the stories can go so many different ways and have so many chances to stall or become uninteresting that often times they just fizzle out.

So the big challenge here is keeping things interesting, and also doing what you can to make sure the story takes certain paths that help to facilitate personal character growth for everyone involved. Not just you.

When you do a pre-determined pairing RP, it's a lot easier to forget everyone else and just focus on yourself. You can usually also get away with letting your partner worry about themselves and their character, and trust that they'll do what's right by that character to keep things going.

But in a dynamic development scenario, that's a lot harder to do. Especially if you're the GM. Whether it's a 1x1 or a larger group RP doesn't really matter. The focus is on the world around the characters and the attention to detail it will require to make sure it's interesting and facilitates growth for all parties concerned.

In such scenarios, I have to ask myself the following:

* What would a romance bring for my character's personal growth?
* If my character begins taking romantic interest in another character, what does that character bring to the table that benefits my character's life?
* What would my character bring to the table for this potential romantic partner?

Sometimes a romance isn't what a character needs, and it's important to consider that possibility whenever you get involved with an RP that's designed to let come what may instead of providing pre-determined pairings. It might not be what we want, but it's a reality we have to face sometimes.

The Solution

Sadly, there is no "easy" solution for the main challenge of dynamic development.

You just have to be a good GM, and a good writer.

You have to be able to facilitate the personal growth of the characters and create events and situations which are in service to the end goal of the story at large because the option of romance is always secondary and a slave to the primary narrative.

For example, let's say you are in a fantasy RPG RP and romance is the "potential" goal for your character and someone else's whom you want your character to romance.

What's the primary narrative? It's whatever the actual goal of the big journey is. For the sake of argument, we'll say it's a potential world-ending threat in the form of a dark God being released upon the world.

What about this situation would facilitate a romance between your character and the character you want them to become romantic with?

Consider the following question, as it's by far the most important one to ask when trying to romantically pair someone dynamically: What does your character bring to the table which both compliments and benefits the life of the target romantic partner?

Dynamic development is all about going the old fashioned route of having your character step outside their comfort zone (or stay in it, if they're a more sociable person) and go out of their way to try involving themselves in the life of the target romantic partner. How can you do that? Well, your character can...

* Ask "how are you doing/feeling?" whenever something big happens, or if they are reuniting after some in-world time apart
* Ask about mutually shared interests to start a discussion, and try to keep it friendly and engaging like you would in real life
* Ask about and compliment their dreams (very few things inspire a sense of connection and gratitude more than someone complimenting and reinforcing our dreams)
* Ask about their history and offer support and positive reinforcement for any and all revealed information

Noticing a trend? All of these points are starting with "ask," because that's how we get to know people. We ask questions.

The more questions your character goes out of their way to ask, the more likely they are to get to know this other character to a degree no other character does. And the more likely, though still not guaranteed, they are to begin sparking a deeper and more romantic connetion.

The Conclusion

Dynamic development RP's, as stated before, are usually more for those people who prefer to undergo a journey and let come what may. It's a long and arduous task, especially for the GM since they have to run the RP overall and not just focus on their character. But for those who can endure the journey and have the patience to wait it out and see if their desire for romance bears fruit, this is the way to go and it's worth sticking it out until the end.

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Anywho, that's about it from me!

Nobody asked for this long-winded breakdown, but you got it anyway! Lol!

Cheers!

Omg wow, interesting analysis. I certainly wasn't expecting a response like this lol.

Looking at the voting results, it does seem like the slight majority prefer natural built up, which doesn't surprise me honestly but I was pleasantly surprise on the number who liked both. I have no plans of stopping the poll but I did want to wait a number of days to see the results to help me make my decisions. Since the RPGs I am in (both on this site and another) are not active, I might revamp this old RPG of mine sooner rather then later.

 

[Zodia195]

Hey I need help and I don't have any other means to do this, but I've tried making a new Thread, and I am not allowed to pick a Label/Prefix. I've tried asking for help, but I can't even contact anyone about this without picking a label. Can someone help me please?

 

[Lunar Bunny]

Hey I need help and I don't have any other means to do this, but I've tried making a new Thread, and I am not allowed to pick a Label/Prefix. I've tried asking for help, but I can't even contact anyone about this without picking a label. Can someone help me please?

Try to contact a mod? You should be able to message them and ask.

 

[Zodia195]

Oh the issues has been fixed. I was able to contact a mod through the discord. Thanks.

Also for those curious about the RPG I am revamping, here's the Interest thread- Fantasy - Romance Fantasy Interest Thread (and Poll)

 

[Safton]

I suppose I will always be unfairly biased towards "natural" romances after having participated in one in the SPN RP I joined back in 2016... and am still a part of to this day. I had always been sort of wary of RP'ing romance in general, but in this case things fell into place nicely and "clicked" while the characters just sort of meshed. The narrative pay-off was very satisfying (and I imagine it would be even more so with a long slow burn).

In the process of our characters falling in together, I managed to find my RL soulmate as well -- all because we both took a chance to follow up on the natural progression our characters' relationship.

That being said, I also recognize a potential myriad of situations where assigned relationships are appropriate and have been a part of some since then.

 

[Merciless Medic]

I am tempted to revamp an old RPG of mine here at some point, but I wanted to ask a question first since I wanted to know peoples' preferences when it comes to romance. In that rpg, I did have assigned couples due to the story revolving around soul mates and each couple represented a certain species of mystical creature. I know times have changed since then as I see more RPGs involving romance like a more natural progression. Still I was curious.

I like to do things more natural, but I express interest in possibly a pairing working out, we talk for a bit, and then we decide if that's the direction we'll take. Then we RP it out, see if it works or not, and if it doesn't happen naturally, then we're like "never mind, let's find another partner to pit our characters with". Even if we do continue to talk about it as if they're a thing OOC, we both know (another player and myself) that it'll take time to get there and we should play it as naturally as possible and try not to force them together.

So we do a hybrid of "choose which couple we have based on the best chemistry ooc from what we could find or experiment with our characters getting together" and "oh, we should make this a natural progression and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, no biggie".

 

[Idea]

Assigned Couples Type A: Type A of assigned couples is almost an in-between and it is also often my favorite of the assigned types. This type is one where the couple is fated to fall in love, yes, but very early in the story. This is not the same as characters starting out in love, though it is the category that falls closest to it, and while characters have to fall in love to fall into this category the key thing here is that stories involving this type of assigned couple don't require them to stay in love, and are often more about a story where a bit of set up is needed for the romance, or alternatively the how they fell in love part is interesting enough to warrant writing at the start, but the story itself focuses more on the dynamics of their relationship, on something getting in the way of it or a sort of subsect of that, hijinks from what being a couple means for them in the context of their setting and circumstances.

The reasons I prefer these over type B is because they are plot-essential but not as forceful in terms of plot directions. They are, in effect, part of the premise and thus are often written that way in my plots. I like it because of how it changes dynamics. All romance between characters does of course, but this one really taps into the strengths of planning the most - the ability to craft things specifically to maximize their own impact into the objective of the narrative - and afterwards letting you flesh out the remaining story by playing with that set up's conclusion. Characters built from the ground up to make the romantic dynamic as interesting as possible, scenarios of the story constructed for the right timing and circumstances, all of which aimed at making the characters fit like a puzzle (or not if the story calls for a more dysfunctional relationship) and putting those against scenarios that explore their relationship in circumstances that relationship and those involved in it have been crafted to have an interesting (and excuse my use of repeated words) dynamic.



Assigned Couples Type B: Type B meanwhile happens when a character is down the line supposed to fall in love with another. While not as much as type A, this for me also occasionally has a tinge of natural progression, not in how it is written, but how it comes about. Type B for me often comes when while planning future story elements with my partner or fellow players, the question "hey wouldn't it be interesting/funny/dramatic if X developed a crush on Y?" comes up due to how the planning is going. So it's not a priori necessary for the story, but it's still planned far more in advance than type A, and requires the story and characters be steered more in that direction. Now while this can work and in fact be very fun, exploring wholly different scenarios from those typically found in type B on account of happening midway through the story rather than at the premise, it is also a lot harder to pull off. Stirring characters in a way that doesn't feel forced is never easy, and especially not if the characters weren't crafted to organically move in the direction you want them to. Doing this right takes longer and requires careful work with pacing and other elements of set up.



There is also a type C of assigned couples, but honestly I don't use it and am not a fan, which is assigned couples from the start but for more of an ending or midway point rather than at the premise, without it being something that comes to you spontaneously as you plan. This is a specific type of assigned couple, though unfortunately a common one, and the worst one by far, because it essentially sets up the ending of a story at the premise. Now there are cases where such an idea can work, a story of "how did we get here?" or "can this fate that was foreseen be avoided" but typically those themes are not what's explored in type C assigned couples, and they still treat the story as a "will they won't they" despite us knowing for a fact what the ending result of that is, and not by mere inference but because that is the point. The result of that is either being bored by the expected or betrayed by the unexpected, and all the while having characters acting forcefully like puppets. If anyone has ever read a comment about the importance of character personality from me, they know I am not a fan of characters being treated like sock puppets.



Natural Progression: While in most things I like planning over surprises, natural progression has a lot of sway when it comes to writing romance. This is because romance is largely about organic pacing, something that pre-planning can easily become far too artificial-feeling to reproduce. Natural progression has the advantage of only arising of only appearing at all if those elements are present to some extent, at least if writers have the respect to not add it out of the blue for no other reason than to add it. That being said, not only is uncertain and often a non-element of the plot (AKA if you have to say you intent to have natural romance, then it's no longer natural is it? In other words natural romance tends to appear on plots that don't discuss romance at all and thus whether it's good or bad it can't be intentionally created, lest it loose it's namesake), it can be subpar compared to a well-crafted planned romance, because the planned romance will include all the elements and set up needed to tie in character's personal matters, plot, chemistry and character and romantic/relationship development, and attempt to maximize the romantic, comedic and other impact of these, while natural progression will at best stumble into those things, again, by definition of the concept of natural progression romance.





So overall I like both types of romance. One let's me play around with the romance and integrate it more, while the other feels more natural, something that is especially impactful in something like romance.