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Fandom an elevator ride. ooc chat/plotting.

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holy shit its half eight already mskdksjdj i forgot how addictive dark souls is 😭😭
 
skslsldke i haven't gone into higher education yet ooops i don't like,, want all that debt 😭😭 and i need another a level which is just,, more debt ;w;
why learning money 💔
 
I paid nothing to enter since it was public college, but I paid to fill out entrance tests, multiple times
I've tried like three years and only really passed because I changed school choices

All of this effort, to be broken by the stress and other things, kinda feels pointless now
I felt like a failure for a really long time ^^'
 
awwwww ;w; i feel you tho,, my sixth form experience was when depresso really kicked in and yeah... sksksksj there's no way id even get IN to a decent university if i didn't go back and get an a level at b or above ^^,
the past few years have been a waste honestly sksksksj kinda sucks that like. so much pressure is pur into getting good grades, when you can still be successful without em :(
 
awwwww ;w; i feel you tho,, my sixth form experience was when depresso really kicked in and yeah... sksksksj there's no way id even get IN to a decent university if i didn't go back and get an a level at b or above ^^,
the past few years have been a waste honestly sksksksj kinda sucks that like. so much pressure is pur into getting good grades, when you can still be successful without em :(
I was an idiot, I was already struggling but my stubborn ass didn't want to accept that I needed special treatment
It wasn't just depression. It was anxiety, it was panic attacks; Things got so bad I spent periods of two consecutive weeks without stepping a foot outside
And I nearly starved myself to death.

Years later, I just found out I might be somewhere in the autism spectrum
Which only reinforces the fact I do need some kind of special treatment for things.
Gosh, past!me was so freaking dumb, needing extra help wasn't something to be ashamed of : /

But yeah, I'm convinced the education system is just broken and I'm probably not going back there any soon
 
awwww, sorry to hear that D:
i had awful social anxiety throughout school, and uh,, didn't gave a social life because of it sksksksj it got better in sixth form but bc depression was kicking my ass, i lost like. the only friend i had at the time and ended up just. bunking so many classes cos i felt shitty sksksksj
undiagnosed adhd also,, didn't help 😭😭 i used to hate on myself so freaking much for my procrastination but turns out most of the time it was just adhd being a bitch lmaooo i have like,, actual trauma from gcse art cos adhd kicked my ass so bad during that course, and my teacher was AWFUL cos she didn't understand WHY i struggled to do the work 😭😭 fun times lmaoo

but fr that's valid as heck, like, i know i won't go back until im mostly functional. im so glad I DIDNT go to uni straight away tbh, depression was so bad at the time id have provably dropped out ;w;
the education system needs some serious reforms smh
 
I feel a lot of that, different reasons (though I'm really also suspecting ADD? My psychiatrist even gave me Ritalin this time, focus is hard) but similar kinds of struggles. School can be a brutal place for anything striking even just slightly off the curve >~<

In my case, I was the nerd kid, but also naive. I got used a lot, people saw me more like a thing than as a person it felt like...
 
sksksk im only on meds for depression atm, tho it doubles up as an anxiety med too which is cool ^^ i gotta speak to my doctor about adhd meds tho cos it be,, sucking lmaooo

awww im sorry to hear that ;w; i was just really shy, and only had like. a few close friends tbh. i tried to keep away from most folk ;w; school is just a bitch tbh like. no matter who you are, or what you do, there's a 90% chance its gonna suuuck lmao
 
Honestly! When I hear people talk about how they actually enjoyed their school time I look at them like
'From what kind of parallel universe did you freaking come from?!' I just cannot believe anyone really had a good time at school at all
This seems literally impossible : O
 
ADAGSGDG FOR REAL THOUGH 😭😭 like,, how?? other kids are horrible, lessons are horrible, teachers are horrible, like??
i kinda enjoyed sixth form ig? but i got lucky and had good classes with p cool teachers and peeps in. and also had a boyfriend throughout the second year which made philosophy class a lot more fun skdksksj
but i was also depressed off my ass, skipped prolly 40% of my lessons and like. had no one to hang out with at break times 💔 so really, it was not. the best lmao just not the worst dksksksk
 
Ahhh well there isn't much any of us can do about that. Hopefully, things calm down for you. And at least Spring break means no school to worry about as well
 
i barely made it out of school lmao. I dropped out of highschool following an illness and went back like 3 years later to graduate. It wasn't stressful in itself because I never tried to do much. I didn't feel much one way or the other lol

I never did college, I work this career job and make double minimum wage for my state so I'm kinda just chile. Living life on easy mode but I still struggle with anxiety over getting hugged or what time it is ):
 

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