Necessity4Fun
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  • Yay my parents are fighting, as if I wasn't depressed enough already...
    And then people ask me why I don't like coming here - -'

    Just one more week. I only need to take it one.more.week. >~<
    norway
    norway
    sorry you have to go through that, I can relate. if you ever need a venting buddy hmu friend.
    Sometimes I want an 'existence-toggle' button. When it's on, everyone forgets I even exist and thus I am left alone when I want to be, then I toggle it back off and get to interact when I want and *only* when I want to.

    Kinda like RPN, but for real life as well. That'd be great.
    LadyJinx
    LadyJinx
    What if the button breaks? What if every morning you wake up forgotten by everybody?
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    Let's just hope this isn't done by Microsoft so it doesn't update and glitches as often : P (hurr durr a Windows joke)

    But good point tho, that'd get lonely fast...

    I just wish people understood that I am really depressed and just wanna nap until it's gone. But nope they are cleaning everything and expecting me to help... I don't even have the energy/motivation to stand rn, how am I supposed to help? >~<
    *siiiigh*
    DisneyGirl
    DisneyGirl
    @everjinx that sounds like a really good idea for a story actually! like a science fiction about an invention gone wrong :o haha

    @Necessity4Fun I'm sorry people aren't more understanding about your depression and letting you get the rest you need ): Maybe just take things slowly, at your own pace? *sending you lots of hugs*
    Going to bed, I'm not sure about how active I can be tomorrow since we're visiting my grandmother for lunch and she said something about shopping afterwards...
    I don't *really* want to go there tho ^^' >.<
    Ahh~ Nothing like a snack break for me to stop feeling frustrated about code that is not doing what I wanted it to do ^^'
    Ahhh... I like my yellow, I'm gonna miss it so much until next month ^^'
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    So, about that... Had to freeze the patronage for this month because I forgot to include enough money for it on the digital credit card, and I do this without telling my parents so yeah... Decided telling them just to get someone to take me to the bank was too risky... ^^' But will definitely be able to correct it next month >w<
    I was a liiiiiittle bit dumb there : P
    That's why the status... *awkward laugh*
    Kaerri
    Kaerri
    Oh dear! Well, at least you caught it in time.
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    Yep! Not like it would charge if it had no money though, but still nice to account for beforehand. But it's a shame, the badge Fyuri made for January is just soooo cute~!

    Oh. Ahaha... Did I type credit card? Oops, it's debit. I don't own any credit cards, not even digital ones >w< Credit is tricky to mess with, I'd rather stay away from it : P
    The (Mis)Adventures of Having English as a Second Language #01:

    Knowing exactly what both 'weight' and 'width' mean but somehow still type one instead of the other while doing code stuff ^^'
    #truestory
    The Mechanist
    The Mechanist
    If you need any help you can ask ^-^
    Kaerri
    Kaerri
    I do things like this sometimes even with English as a first language. ^_^
    Coding works just like drawing...

    ...Getting the idea out of your head and into reality with nearly flawless execution is hard as heck!!! ^^'
    Hey! Thanks for the follow. And all those ratings :3
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    Well, I admit I have never done a search thread before but, if you ever attempt at it and need any feedback, feel free to link me to it, or PM me the info and I'll gladly give it a check ^^
    Or I'll call someone that can help, that's also an option

    I'm not going to force you to do anything, however, it's ultimately your choice, ok? >w<
    I'm just an extra 'push', so to speak
    Snowshadow1-5
    Snowshadow1-5
    I'll attempt it.
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    I'll be cheering for you!
    Ahahahaha... I keep stalking the BBCode game thread and I keep having ideas, I just, never find the courage to do theeeem.... OTL

    It's.so.simple. Why is something like *that* messing with my anxiety, really now... >.<
    welian
    welian
    If it's in the private workshop, then no one has to see it.
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    I...I guess you're right...
    That kinda defeats the purpose of the game tho XD

    But yeah, maybe I'll just, keep it to myself if I'm too scared to show it ^^'
    The problem with being at my parents' for the vacations (well, excluding all of the *other tier* problems) is that this 'chores first, fun later' system is not taking in consideration one's drive to write!

    By the time I'm done with the task, *poof!* my muse has vanished completely!!! >~<
    And it takes quite a while to call it back... ^^'
    Anyway, goodnight...
    I'm sleeping again. Today was nothing but hurtful, bleak and pointless 😢
    I shouldn't have gotten up at all *sigh*
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    Update: Can't sleep, dad is watching 'Gotham' in the living room and it's really loud and bright
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    Update 2: trying to sleep again
    What good is therapy for, if everytime I come back here my family will just destroy all of my progress?! >o<

    I just wanna hide where none of them can find me and cry QAQ
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    @Strawberry Ink that's actually good advice : O
    Maybe I'll bring it up in therapy and see what we can do. It's going to be a bit of a problem since I'm normally in another town because of college, but it could do a lot of good, for everyone.

    I honeslty feel like I keep coming here to have an already rather unstable mental health even more damaged. Which is terrible >~<
    Strawberry Ink
    Strawberry Ink
    I hope it works out for you! Just hang in there for now. You're welcome to vent to me if you like. If it's at all possible, try to spend less time in the house.
    Necessity4Fun
    Necessity4Fun
    Sadly, I can't really go anywhere, so staying in the house and trying not to go crazy it is ^^'
    And now suddenly it's "I love you"...

    So, after you make me doubt my worth, throw me a step back into self-hate and put me on verge of crying...
    I'm just supposed to take it in?!

    Argh! I'm so angry but can't say a word about it either 😣
    SarcasticDingleberry
    SarcasticDingleberry
    I have been reading your posts and I just want you to know that I am someone you can talk to if you would like. I might not be able to help, but I will listen.
    "It's actually way late. You know there's an age where one should provide for the family..."
    Are you serious?! Are you blind?! You don't even care what state your words put me in, do you *dad*?

    Thanks for telling me how useless you think I am, I totally didn't struggle with depression all day and was finally opening up and in a good mood.

    And then you ask me why we don't really talk... Unbelievable : V
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