I told my wife, "Honey, its really muggy outside."
Wife: "I swear to God, if all our mugs are out on the lawn, I'm leaving you."
Me: <sips coffee from a bowl>
I adopted a retired drug sniffing dog. I took him over to meet my parents, and he found two bags of weed that I had hid when I was in high school. Who's a good boy?!?
Mamie often wondered why,
Acids trouble alkali.
One day in a manner placid,
She fed the cat boracic acid.
Whereupon the cat grew frantic,
Executing many an antic.
"Ah," cried Mamie, overjoyed.
"Kitty is an alkali!"
James, while feeling rather draper,
touched a fire to grandpa's paper.
Grandpa jumped a foot or higher,
Dropped the paper and shouted "Fire!"
"This," said James, "Confirms my notion.
That heat creates both light and motion."