Opinion What do you think of asexuality and aromantics?

[Shireling]

Work.

He who does not work does not eat. 

 

[AnimeGenork]

I'm a terrible person, because half the time I don't understand anything beyond the heterosexual/homosexual spectrum, but I do try. I'm perfectly okay with anyone, so long as they're accepting of others as well. If not, then I get all mother hen on the situation. XD


Just expect a lot of questions due to my stupidity. ^^'

 

[Pine]

I'm a terrible person, because half the time I don't understand anything beyond the heterosexual/homosexual spectrum, but I do try.

Yo dude, ur totally fine, that doesn't make you a terrible person at all. As long as you're willing to hear people out about things and try to understand, no one will hold anything against you. If you ever have any questions about anything sexuality/gender related, feel free to come ask me. <: I'm sure others on this thread feel the same.

 

[call me rae]

I'm a terrible person, because half the time I don't understand anything beyond the heterosexual/homosexual spectrum, but I do try. I'm perfectly okay with anyone, so long as they're accepting of others as well. If not, then I get all mother hen on the situation. XD


Just expect a lot of questions due to my stupidity. ^^'

Lack of understanding doesn't make you dumb or a terrible person. Until this last year I wouldn't have known there was any such thing as like asexual and I only heard about demisexual/cisgenders, etc through roleplaying and asking people what they were talking about.


But then I'm from an older demographic where we didn't have all these terms growing up. Lack of knowledge is fine, wanting to learn is even better. As long as you don't invalidate someone else's opinions just because you don't understand them your fine.

 

[Shireling]

Lack of understanding doesn't make you dumb or a terrible person. Until this last year I wouldn't have known there was any such thing as like asexual and I only heard about demisexual/cisgenders, etc through roleplaying and asking people what they were talking about.


But then I'm from an older demographic where we didn't have all these terms growing up. Lack of knowledge is fine, wanting to learn is even better. As long as you don't invalidate someone else's opinions just because you don't understand them your fine.

You mean, because none of this crap had been invented yet. 

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

3 hours ago, call me rae said:





To the best of my knowledge it isn't so much romance as a lack of sexual attraction. I could be wrong but as I understood the definition it isn't really anything to do with how you feel emotionally about other people, you just don't want to get physically intimate with them.


Now granted that would make a relationship difficult - as I imagine the lack of sexual content is difficult for people to wrap their heads around. But it doesn't make you some kind of social pariah incapable of relating to people emotionally.


Further romance isn't the only way we form close bonds with people. Nothing wrong with just having strong platonic bonds with people. I myself find romance to be intimidating from a social standpoint. The idea of going on dates or talking to strangers makes me anxious. But that doesn't  mean I can't be friends with people or even theoretically that I couldn't be romantic. I just choose not to. 



I don't feel any lack in my life because I'm not dating anyone. Nor do I think anyone with asexual / aromantic identity should feel a lack in their life socially just because they don't want to go on dates or be physically intimate with another person. 




 

I believe what he is referring to is aromanticism. It is totally separate from asexuality, like other romantic orientations are separate from sexual orientations. However, most people's sexual and romantic orientations are the same.

 

[StoneWolf18]

I mean...


Being an asexual person, I don't think my opinion here is valid xD


And before people ask, no. I don't think I've ever been romantically/sexually attracted to another person. (Otherwise I'm pretty sure I'm straight....)

 

[ewolf20]

as someone who has been on ace related sites, I accept them with open arms. aros ,too.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

This will be just a bit off topic.


See? Despite some warnings about how forums with topics like this can spiral, we've all managed to be civil. It's nice to see civility on the internet.

 

[StoneWolf18]

civility on the internet.

Wait


This is a thing?


Jokes aside, yeah. Kinda hard to find these days.

 

[punkinblackk]

Here, have some internet things that explain asexuality, and a couple other less known sexualities in a simple easy to understand way. 

 

[ewolf20]

thanks for the civility.

 

[punkinblackk]

One last one for the people that think being asexual is easy, or whatever. 


Because the rest of the internet is so much better at explaining things than me. 


Thank you, and good night/morning/evening/afternoon whatever. I'm out. 

 

[welian]

Aros and aces - my people! I eventually found that one person who I'd dance the horizontal tango with, but there's so many more fulfilling ways for me to experience love. Eros just isn't really on my radar, and never was.

 

[Icerex]

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Here, have some internet things that explain asexuality, and a couple other less known sexualities in a simple easy to understand way. 

But why though? Why the fuck does everything have to be a sexuality? What's wrong with just saying, oh, I'm not really attracted to people in a sexual way, or it takes me a bit longer to form a romantic bond with someone. Honestly, I think stuff like this just cheapens the concept of homosexuality and LGBT in general, as it makes it just seem like a bunch of angsty teens making up new words for their feelings. 

 

[punkinblackk]

But why though? Why the fuck does everything have to be a sexuality? What's wrong with just saying, oh, I'm not really attracted to people in a sexual way, or it takes me a bit longer to form a romantic bond with someone. Honestly, I think stuff like this just cheapens the concept of homosexuality and LGBT in general, as it makes it just seem like a bunch of angsty teens making up new words for their feelings. 

Because it's easier to say "I'm ace/aro" than to have to try and explain to little that you don't find people to be sexually attractive at all. 

 

[Count Gensokyo]

One thing I think is strange is how about 8-9 of the "18,000 or so asexuals" just flocked here to this one thread.

 

[Icerex]

Because it's easier to say "I'm ace/aro" than to have to try and explain to little that you don't find people to be sexually attractive at all. 

The people that wouldn't get/understand you saying you're not sexually attracted to people, are the same people that won't get what asexuality means. You're not saving any time. Also, why does sexuality have to be this defining thing about people? Like, what happened to being an interesting person with interesting hobbies? All I see now days is people exclusively describing themselves by their gender/sexuality. 

 

[volchan]

The people that wouldn't get/understand you saying your not sexually attracted to people, are the same people that won't get what asexuality means. You're not saving any time. Also, why does sexuality have to be this defining thing about people? Like, what happened to being an interesting person with interesting hobbies? All I see now days is people exclusively describing themselves by their gender/sexuality. 

I totally agree with this. I personally think a person's sexuality and gender type/preferances are between them and their partner/partners. There's waaaaaay more to life (and people) than sexual identity.

 

[call me rae]

The people that wouldn't get/understand you saying you're not sexually attracted to people, are the same people that won't get what asexuality means. You're not saving any time. Also, why does sexuality have to be this defining thing about people? Like, what happened to being an interesting person with interesting hobbies? All I see now days is people exclusively describing themselves by their gender/sexuality. 

To this I would likely say it's a mix of issues.


A. the internet. For those of us who were before it was a thing at all or when it was brand new and slow as fuck it is hard to understand how it can effect the lives of people who have grown up with immersed in all manner of technology at their finger tips from point go. Plus think about it - how many people do you know that share all kinds of personal details over the internet? Stuff you would never tell a real person due to being shy, socially awkward, or just not feeling it's their place.


Maybe you don't do that. But a lot of people do. And for a lot of those people sexuality is an important part of who they are. Especially since the people who are the most comfortable with technology tend to skew to a younger age. And at that time when things are confusing and your trying to learn who you are as a person it makes since to find a label that you think describes you and stick to it.


Now I'm sure this is gonna get me a lot of flak but I see it a little like when I was about 13 - 16 and I thought I was gonna be a Wiccan. I read up all kinds of information on it, went to websites, came up with a Wiccan name, the whole nine yards. Because as a teenager my life wasn't fun, I had a lot of social anxiety issues, I didn't always get along with my family, and the idea of being a Wiccan made me feel like I belonged.


Now am I Wiccan today? No. Because I found other ways to fit in and eventually grew out of the need to fit into a greater social group entirely. I mean sure I have friends but it's not as important to me to feel like I belong as an adult nearing thirty as it was when I was a teenager.


So while I don't think that any sexual or gender indentification itself is a fad. I do think the idea of sharing so much of your personal details online is one. And as long as it's not hurting anyone I fail to see what it matters if people choose to share parts of themselves online in an environment they feel more comfortable in.

 

[charleen]

I'm honestly thinking about going asexual.  Like why do I need to be with someone just to be validated by others, like okay..? I don't see a problem on going your own way. You're more self efficiency that way and you can also save so much money and truthfully, that's more attractive than becoming trapped in cyclical and constantly disappointing hookup culture. 

 

[Cup of Mek]

I'm honestly thinking about going asexual.  Like why do I need to be with someone just to be validated by others, like okay..? I don't see a problem on going your own way. You're more self efficiency that way and you can also save so much money and truthfully, that's more attractive than becoming trapped in cyclical and constantly disappointing hookup culture. 

You can't really 'go asexual' - it's a sexual orientation rather than a choice. Going celibate/chaste though is totally valid and if you find it suits you and your needs go for it, and best of luck!

 

[punkinblackk]

@call me rae


Basically yeah. 


@Icerex 


I believe the extreme range of sexualities that are very similar but slightly different, has a lot to do with the millennials being a generation of "special snowflakes" where they are all taught how awesome and individual they are, and so forth (not getting into that) that find the need to have a very specific label that lets them feel entirely unique, but with the underlying "I need to feel that there are others like me" (something like that anyways) so therefore twenty labels where four or five broader terms would make a lot more sense. 


(Seriously, how many terms are used by people over like... Twenty five ish?)


Just to illustrate my point. 

Spoiler

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

1 minute ago, punkinblackk said:



@call me rae


Basically yeah. 


@Icerex 


I believe the extreme range of sexualities that are very similar but slightly different, has a lot to do with the millennials being a generation of "special snowflakes" where they are all taught how awesome and individual they are, and so forth (not getting into that) that find the need to have a very specific label that lets them feel entirely unique, but with the underlying "I need to feel that there are others like me" (something like that anyways) so therefore twenty labels where four or five broader terms would make a lot more sense. 


(Seriously, how many terms are used by people over like... Twenty five ish?)


Just to illustrate my point. 

Spoiler

 

Just a quick question that's not exactly related to your post. What about centennials? 

 

[punkinblackk]

@Scattered Ambitions I'm referring to the millennial generation. (1990-2002 ish. I'd have to check it to be sure. I'm not hugely proud of the reputation my generation tends to have.) So I'm not entirely sure what sense your referring to centennials in.