Other Why are there so many flaky rpers? Why do people vanish?

[JadeGreen17]

It might just be my personal bad luck; but it seems to me like the world of RPing is built on being active for awhile before gradually decreasing your turnaround time before completely vanishing, and I think the longest I've managed to keep an RP going was about two months, with most RPs I've done lasting only a few days when they were clearly laid out to be long-runners.

If you're lucky you might hear from them that their cousin's girlfriend's stepdad's dog ran away from home and they were going to be out of town for a couple of days to help to find where it ran off to or something to that effect, and them promising to return in a couple of days to pick up the story but never keeping said promise. Though more often than not people seem to just prefer to vanish and never return-- or even worse-- return excited to continue months later when all parties involved have completely forgotten about the story at hand and moved on to other things.

I hear a lot of people say that sometimes they will get busy with school and/or work and be gone for a couple days, and I am understanding of that. I myself might be on the more active side of roleplaying, and I personally have had to put RPs on hold for a couple days during the busier parts of my life. But it's never more than that, and I always diligently return to pick up the story as soon as it is convenient for me.

Just as bad--maybe even worse-- are the people that don't vanish, but have a short attention span and are constantly growing bored with RPs. Just as soon as an RP is starting up; the character establishment is out of the way and the world and storyline are set up and you're just getting to the good parts of the story. Then the person decides they're bored or not really interested in the story. Now I could forgive this if after two or three false starts you got the ball rolling for real, but these people (Not naming any names here) have racked up a dozen or more incomplete RPs.

Personally these are my thoughts: If you're in an RP, you have a responsibility to the other RPers to continue to provide responses. If you're not enjoying the story or know you won't be able to post for a long period of time, then you need to inform the others in OOC, that way arrangements can be made so that the others can continue and isn't held up by your mysterious disappearance, and if your character already had a key stake in the plot, you can arrange what will happen with them and how the story will continue without your input.

So what I want to hear are your stories from either end. Have you ever flaked out of an RP? Why? Have you ever had to deal with a really flaky RPer which would disappear for long stretches of time and constantly hold up the story?

Spoiler: Rants

-Friend on discord. Has never managed to carry an RP more than a week or two. Some of the RPs we've run have been insanely fun and had really interesting setups but this person always manages to lose interest.
-Another Fourm RP. Was going great. The fourms went down for a couple days and when they came back up everyone had vanished. Despite waiting patiently for over a month not a single RPer returned.
-Fantasy RP on discord. Was a part of a server. I created a character in a fairly exhaustive CS. The opening scene of the story played out and then everyone simultaneously flaked out and vanished.
-Scifi RP on discord. This was exceptionally infuriating as I had to create an entire civilization and several characters to participate in this. We had just gotten through our first space battle which was meant to be a taste of things to come and was absolutely amazing as many characters utilized unorthodox tactics. Our main characters got separated from the fleet and were stuck on a ship together far away from home off on an adventure and everyone disappeared.
-Scifi RP skype buddy. We created a really detailed scifi universe and characters in it, and wrote our characters meeting and escaping on a ship. Then the guy vanished and though he was online a lot after that he never responded to my messages ever again.
-Superhero RP. I was on a superhero RP discord server. After creating CS and writing the opening scene everyone abandoned a really interesting RP without ever giving a reason. What was really infuriating about this was people continued to talk in the OOC chats for weeks, bantering on about RL stuff and posting memes. Something I wouldn't have a problem with except the actual RP never got continued, and when I tried to ask everyone why we weren't continuing the RP they just dodged the question.
-Nightmare Hunter RP. This site. The only reason this one lasted as long as it did was because I kept pinging people constantly reminding them to post. But eventually folks fell into the habit of saying they were going to post but never actually posting.
-Another Fantasy RP buddy on a fourm. I had been consistently RPing with this girl for about two months, and I thought for once I might actually finish a roleplay. My characters were on THE HALLWAY TO THE FINAL BOSS when she said she had to go eat dinner and that we would be finishing the story that night, but she never returned. As of me writing this post its been three years and her last activity was still Febuary of 2015.

 

[rae2nerdy]

You realize you're basically describing probably 80 to 90% of the people that roleplay? This isn't one of those things that is going to change it's kind of feature of roleplaying at this point.

You can find it unfair and a waste of your time but honestly that's not going to change squat. Because either people CAN'T change or they don't WANT to change.

Now I've gone on entire tangents about these issues in a wide variety of topics but I think the best advice I can give you about this issue is this :

This has nothing to do with you. The people who are roleplaying with you have their own issues to work through that have not a single thing to do with you or the roleplay. They roleplay how they roleplay and if you don't like it than you're going to have to just start being a lot more picky about who you roleplay with.

Secondly manage your expectations. If you want a roleplay where people can post often, are always willing to talk to you, put in as much work or more work than you, etc. etc.

Than you're going to have to be willing to work DAMN hard to get that. Because your basically asking for unicorns. And while they exist they are not common and gathering a group of them together takes a whole lot of organization, a lot of patience, and honestly a crap ton of luck.​

Also don't take it personally. Seriously you would be surprised at how much stress you will spare yourself when you just don't take anything personally and learn to move on when stuff goes pear-shaped.

I don't do groups anymore ( my schedule is too hectic to even bother to try and honestly I hate group drama ) but 1x1s I can think of maybe 1 that has gone for a month or more. Most of them are a few weeks and that's it.

But I don't let that phase me because I don't expect any of the roleplays I'm in to last long. Whether that's because of scheduling issues, personality conflicts, or just plain boredom. I just go into things knowing I'm not going to get a long term roleplay out of it. So in the rare case where a roleplay DOES go for an extended period of time I'm pleasantly surprised. But all the ones who crash and burn ultimately don't bother me in the slightest.

As for flaking sure I do it all the time. Either I get busy in real life, I get bored, or I just don't think we're going to work personality wise. I usually try to let the other person know ( although if it's more of a time crunch thing I might not get the chance or I honestly might forget. )

But most of the people I roleplay with are pretty chill about that kind of thing and don't take it personally. Also I usually let people know from the get go that I might just vanish and that it's not anything against them I just got busy,bored, etc.

 

[JadeGreen17]

I'm sorry. I came back to this thread and reread what I wrote and realized its more or less just a rant; but in the year or two I've been actively RPing I've never had a satisfying experience with an RP, almost all of them not even getting past the opening stages and there being no real explanation for it, and I guess my frustration just kind of reached a breaking point.

I'm probably just going to step away from RPing from here on out because I'm tired of putting so much time into my characters and worlds only for the story to be cut short.

 

[Brendanfp]

Hey Cyborg Leopard,

I get it can be really frustrating sometimes when the Rp just seems to fall apart and there is nothing you can do about it. I have personally experienced a bunch while writing here, and I've even been that guy who suddenly left a really good Rp. The only thing I can offer is that the more you write here, the more friends you will find who are as passionate as you. I have found this especially true, If I wanted to start or join a new Rp I know just the people to go too because I've built up those relationships. Sometimes you gotta stick with it though it might be hard.

Best regards

 

[Rustic]

i think the important thing to remember about roleplaying is that it is both a social activity and a hobby.

it's important to remember that this is a hobby because, by the nature of hobbies, it's something short-lived for most people. most of the hobbies people currently have, they will neglect and come back to later, or drop altogether. it's easy to mistake that for a lack of passion or consideration for other people, when really it's really a lack of discipline and willfullness.

i think it might be because of a misconception of roleplaying being easy. it's usually just writing a couple of paragraphs every couple of days - how could it not be? but the invisible wall that stops people is knowing what to do when the 'muse' fades. writing really is a mood, and some people don't know how to bring it back when it's not there. they take it's absence as sign of inability on their part, or an irreparable departure, and throw in the towel. and, as rae2nerdy mentioned, that's how it is for most people, so it's not really something people question. how do you overcome something people don't realize is a problem? or, in what was my case, how do you show people that they're lacking something when they don't know they're part of the problem?

i don't think there is an easy answer to that. discipline and a will to succeed are self-taught. they require someone who has learned how to drive themself to their goal even when the way forward is difficult to see or hard to traverse, and it's something people have to actively relearn and reinforce. and with a lot of the people who take up this hobby being kids and young adults who are navigating what that all means, i think it's understandable that people fall away all the time. after all, how many adults do you know who are lackadaisical about even their most serious beliefs?

but there's hope when you consider the other point: that this is also a social hobby. with thoughtful expectations and wording at the outset of your projects, you can sometimes filter out people who aren't so ready for commitment. but ultimately, i think the most helpful tool in your arsenal is getting to know people. that's one of the reasons why i think rpnation is one of the best places to be; there are a lot of people to sort through, and lot of long-term members ready for new connections. if you're in a roleplay that fails, you don't have to look at it as a wasted experience; it can, in fact, be a catalyst for future success. who did you like this roleplaying with this time around, and what did the two of you have in common? interact with people, take down their names, and notice what drives them. and when you see roleplays you're passionate about in the future, don't be afraid to call on those people! with any luck, they'll call in somebody, too, and you'll get something good going.

that's actually the success story behind successful group roleplays, in my experience. participants calling in friends and acquaintances they've relied on in the past, and getting things going themselves.

and i think that's true of successful everyday life, too! in the end, we're all just using our experiences to our advantage, finding a group of like-minded people to forge a path to success together with. roleplaying just has dragons and stuff.


but anyway, sorry for the mess! i've been thinking about this subject for awhile, as i can imagine a lot of people have been!

but to your questions: my own experiences with being flaky have generally have also been because of the reasons i listed above: i was passionate at the time but i didn't understand dedication, or i did understand dedication and i couldn't really muster it, due to my own neuroticism, outside circumstances, or a lack of enthusiasm for the idea that i didn't recognize until it was too late. even when you're someone who's tries to be good about committing to things, sometimes things just don't work out like you'd hoped. i'm at peace with those experiences; i've learned from them.

as for my experiences with other flaky roleplayers... sure, i've had plenty! in fact, i think everyone has at least one. it's pretty common. i remember one particularly egregious example of a user unnecessarily stopping everything, responding to ours poke and prods with 'i'm getting to it', and then never following through, stopping a beloved, long-running project in it's tracks and slowly killing it. i don't hold a grudge against them, though. i try to be considerate in thinking of them by remembering the times i've let people down myself, and remembering that everyone's a child of different circumstances, learning different lessons at different times.

none of this is to say you aren't entitled to how you feel, JadeGreen17 ! it's always going to be frustrating, i think, no matter how it's justified or many times you have to deal with it. but i do hope anything i've said has been helpful, and that you do continue to roleplay in the future, regardless. i know from experience group roleplays can and do work, and i think it'd be a shame for the site to lose someone as honestly driven as you seem to be.

 

[Necessity4Fun]

I've been having a really rough period with college, so I have tried to not 'flake' like you put it but there have been times where I was probably responsible for an RP dying or, at least I feel that I do.
However, no matter how long it's been, I always come back. I like what I have and I'm very compromised, I swear. Even IF I get bored I know eventually I'll find that spark again and do my best to keep going.
But like you also said, most times I come back and no one cares about it anymore.

There has been one or other time that I did reply after I came back only to get absolutely no word from either the GM or the other players. Sometimes I'm dying to reply but because of these situations it seems pointless, so I don't. My replies are not enough to get it rolling again, I give up and with a weight of loss in my heart, I let it die.

There have been times where the GM did try to bring it back and I was all for it, but there was not enough interest and we couldn't get more people to join. Never heard about it again so I'm pretty sure they gave up on that too.

The only thing that's always up and always running is AEGIS. It's been two years and it has a cycle of activity and inactivity but man they always come back and I'm intrigued why no other RP is like that!

Is it because the main group has interacted on Skype (and now Discord) so much that we're far from simple RP partners and more to a growing community and friends?
Maybe there are some core people that never leave and that keeps the group together?
Whatever it is, I'm very grateful for it >w<


I don't go 'flaky' in purpose. Heck, if I said I was going to do something I am going to do something, no matter how long it takes. I'm stubborn, dedicated and take RPing extremely serious, maybe more than I should.
If anyone has ever felt like I did this, I am very very sorry, but it couldn't be farther from the truth.

The problem is, it's just not up to me. I love this but I'm constantly fighting depression and now anxiety and sometimes things spiral out of my control and I can't do much about it. I'm left with no energy, no motivation, heck, sometimes no concentration left. Things that already took a long time start taking even longer and longer because I can't pickup a task and stick to it for long for, god knows what reason!
And it's frustrating and painful. I love the RPs I'm at with all of my heart, sometimes I want nothing more than replying to them but nothing will come out, or I have no will to get out of bed, and it makes me angry at myself. It's even worse if I know there's someone waiting. It makes me so so so guilty about it!

I always let people know that I'm really really depressed, and/or it's college test period or something went awfully wrong again (because life), but I don't know, again, whenever I come back there's no one else waiting for me! They all (at least a huge part of the group has) moved on... It's really sad.

The only thing that's worse than this, is signing up for an RP you're really hyped for and it does start, but then the GM disappears with no word. The frustration of the wasted potential/ideas/time is just, argh >o<

 

[The Fabulous Emerald]

It's even worse when you're a newb GM, not really knowing how to do it (we've all been there) so you assign a Co to help out and then they leave after a couple of days with little more than a ta-ra.

 

[Rustic]

Is it because the main group has interacted on Skype (and now Discord) so much that we're far from simple RP partners and more to a growing community and friends?
Maybe there are some core people that never leave and that keeps the group together? Whatever it is, I'm very grateful for it >w<

what a great point! that's been true for me, too, and actually, i think that's a big aid in keeping group roleplays alive in general. when members don't find their current interactions interesting, i think having a friendly dynamic out of character really helps people persevere. it's much harder to disappoint a friend than a faceless stranger, after all, and people also generally find more motivation in posting for people they know will appreciate it.

The problem is, it's just not up to me. I love this but I'm constantly fighting depression and now anxiety and sometimes things spiral out of my control and I can't do much about it. I'm left with no energy, no motivation, heck, sometimes no concentration left. Things that already took a long time start taking even longer and longer because I can't pickup a task and stick to it for long for, god knows what reason!

i think situations like yours are important for people to keep in mind, too. a lot of people roleplay for a means of temporary escapism from difficult situations, and unfortunately, that means it's harder for them to stay committed to things. anxiety and depression are usually huge factors. perseverance can be impossible when your brain is facing bigger problems, and when you need a quick release, it's infinitely more satisfying to let go of obligations than it is to futilely continue to stress yourself out over them. that's a common problem too, but nothing to be ashamed about when it crops up. it might be harder for you, but you deserve a fun hobby, too!

The only thing that's worse than this, is signing up for an RP you're really hyped for and it does start, but then the GM disappears with no word. The frustration of the wasted potential/ideas/time is just, argh >o<

that's definitely a pet peeve of mine, too; especially when i see that person running around starting new projects without a word of update. it's a really bad look to give yourself, and it's a little baffling when people repeatedly wear it just to avoid facing their own failings. i guess humans are kind of interesting like that!

 

[Hige]

I don't do group RPs for that reason, and even 1x1 is like that.

I just think it's the nature of it. Sometimes you don't click with a partner and the RP just isn't working. I prefer to let people know that I don't want to RP because it's considerate, but some people want to avoid hard feelings (even if it tends just to make it worse). I only ignore someone if I really don't want to talk to them.

I found being both more picky and yet more relaxed in my partner selection and RP desires has helped me find partners.

With partner selection I'm pretty picky. Some of the things I disqualify people for are very, very asinine but it helps weed people out.

If they don't have an idea on what they want or who they want to play they're out.
DC/Marvel Crossover I'm not interested in, but that doesn't disqualify them unless that's all they wanna do.
If they're a minor they're out.
If I see they use slurs or say something questionable somewhere else they're probably out.
If they can't write sentences in a decent manner they're out.
If they have dropped a RP unexpectantly they're out, and possibly blocked just so they don't waste my time contacting me again. No hard feelings, just, I want serious inqueries. People who contact me letting me know that they don't want to RP anymore don't apply. But people who just vanish aren't folk who I want to RP with really.

But when it comes to RPing I try to be very relaxed. I'm willing to try and play any character, gender, sexuality, ect. I like bouncing ideas back and forth and it makes for a lot of fun ideas and concepts. I also like to get to know my partner like a friend.

But these combined have led me to some really awesome RPs. Maybe some of it would help you? Anyway, I hope you find something enjoyable soon

 

[Necessity4Fun]

i think situations like yours are important for people to keep in mind, too. a lot of people roleplay for a means of temporary escapism from difficult situations, and unfortunately, that means it's harder for them to stay committed to things. anxiety and depression are usually huge factors. perseverance can be impossible when your brain is facing bigger problems, and when you need a quick release, it's infinitely more satisfying to let go of obligations than it is to futilely continue to stress yourself out over them. that's a common problem too, but nothing to be ashamed about when it crops up. it might be harder for you, but you deserve a fun hobby, too!

I have no doubt that some people are like that, but it's not my case. When I RP I feel like I am part of something. I have fun with it, yes, but I'm also determined to play my character to the letter, I want to see what they'll achieve, who they'll become, I want to put them into unusual situations and see how they deal with that. And at the same time, I want to progress with my writing skills. I am typing in a different language, every post brings out a new word for my vocabulary, or maybe I'm feeling poetic so I'll enjoy doing metaphors.

I don't want to drop it at all. When I say I probably take this too seriously, that's what I mean. It itchs for completion, for a breakthrough, there's nothing more satisfying to me than character development and coming together as a group to solve something that came unexpectedly.

BUT, and this is the issue, even while feeling like that in my moments of ecstasy, there are periods where it all stops making sense. The things I like, I am passionate about stops having any effect, it doesn't bring me joy, it doesn't bring me sadness, doesn't even bring me pain. I am stuck in a state of no-feeling, where all of my efforts seem pointless and everything I do feels hollow and falls flat. And everything fails to remind me that I'm even alive...

I want to reply but that's the state where no matter what I write, I hate it.
I hate it so much that I can't go on, or I'll scrap it and it just makes me feel worse. Because I really really want to write, but I can't, it won't satisfy me, it will never be enough. There's something missing and I can't figure out what.

And that, that's what gets in the way of everything and it has no fixed expiration date. A few days? An entire week? More? I don't know! >~<

I don't need a quick release, I need to remember that things are special to me and they're worth it. I am worth something. And that is a lot harder than it sounds like.

 

[ApfelSeine]

My most successful roleplays tend to be with people who I know in person. Or who I had a chance to spend a good deal of time with.

I think the main reason people tend to be flaky is that it's easier to be that way than to admit that they lost interest. If it's with someone you know, you're more likely to talk about it and work things out somehow. Plus with someone you know, you have a vested interest in being straightforward with how you feel, so you'll end things explicitly rather than let them slowly die off.

It's really easy to lose interest in an rp, especially if one takes a long break (or their partner does) and they have to restore the momentum. It's easier for most people to just start over with someone else because there's no shortage of interesting ideas. I think people try to avoid arguments or explaining themselves, thus "ghosting" their partner. It's difficult for many people to be honest and say that they're bored, or that they've lost interest, so instead they just let it die so that they can use the excuse that "it just sort of died after awhile". If you don't know the other person well, it's much easier to feel justified ghosting.

(Plus I think there's a lot of people who have more fun with brainstorming ideas than actually rping. But that might just be the partners I've had.)

So overall, I'd say the main cause is conflict avoidance and denial of responsibility (since without explicitly ending something, one can argue that "it just didn't work out" rather than taking on any blame for it). In general, things that tend to help prevent ghosting is maintaining frequent ooc communication and encouraging players to mention if they feel unmotivated so that new events can be introduced to make things more interesting for them.

 

[Lil Shirou]

There are many reasons for a rp not goi ng further than the opening. Gamemasters not putting enough effort, to little or to much flexibility in characters and stories. No character synergy between players. I get tired of dealing with people just leaving but I try to not to take it personally. I have had rps last 6 months and some last 2 days. Biggest thing with gm is not writing yourself into corners. It rare to find people that are up to rp long term.

 

[Peacemaker .45]

There are many reasons for a rp not goi ng further than the opening. Gamemasters not putting enough effort, to little or to much flexibility in characters and stories. No character synergy between players. I get tired of dealing with people just leaving but I try to not to take it personally. I have had rps last 6 months and some last 2 days. Biggest thing with gm is not writing yourself into corners. It rare to find people that are up to rp long term.

Hm then count me as one of those rare people. When I start an RP, generally I’m in it for the long term. And long term to me is multiple years. The longest RP I was in lasted about about a year. Though, at the time, I had to step away from RPing because I had stuff going on in my life that I needed to deal with. Though, I did tell everyone I had to go. I came back, and I’m glad I did. It drives me mad not RPing because I live writing stories so much. So far, my one RP I’m GMing has last a couple months, and it’s just me and really two other people who consistently post and get along. And I’m planning on keeping that RP going as long as there’s one other person. So, im the rare one who wants to RP long term, as in years long term.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Hm then count me as one of those rare people. When I start an RP, generally I’m in it for the long term. And long term to me is multiple years. The longest RP I was in lasted about about a year. Though, at the time, I had to step away from RPing because I had stuff going on in my life that I needed to deal with. Though, I did tell everyone I had to go. I came back, and I’m glad I did. It drives me mad not RPing because I live writing stories so much. So far, my one RP I’m GMing has last a couple months, and it’s just me and really two other people who consistently post and get along. And I’m planning on keeping that RP going as long as there’s one other person. So, im the rare one who wants to RP long term, as in years long term.

Well I think it's less that people don't want long term roleplays ( it's a common enough complaint on this forum ) I think it's more they don't know HOW to make a long term roleplay. So they settle on what they can get which is shorter or more temporary roleplays.

You do pretty much perfectly illustrate the two most key factors in a long term roleplay

1. Stick to a small group of close friends ( online or IRL doesn't matter )
2. Make the roleplay work AROUND people's real life schedules not in conflict with them.

If you can manage those two things and some decent organization / a well defined plot you're roleplay should last for as long as you want.

 

[Peacemaker .45]

Well I think it's less that people don't want long term roleplays ( it's a common enough complaint on this forum ) I think it's more they don't know HOW to make a long term roleplay. So they settle on what they can get which is shorter or more temporary roleplays.

You do pretty much perfectly illustrate the two most key factors in a long term roleplay

1. Stick to a small group of close friends ( online or IRL doesn't matter )
2. Make the roleplay work AROUND people's real life schedules not in conflict with them.

If you can manage those two things and some decent organization / a well defined plot you're roleplay should last for as long as you want.

The funny thing is, though, that the two people who post the most frequent with me on my RP are people that just so happened to come across it and apply. I mean, we only really talk in the OOC which is pretty much daily). I suppose they’re friends, sure. But I wouldn’t say they’re good friends. I guess I just happened to be lucky.

There is, however, a big issue with plots, I feel. Admittedly, I’m hesitant with making RP’s that have a really well thought out plot because I know, odds are, that it won’t go anywhere, or will die off quick, most likely. What I do (if possible) is leave something in there that could turn into a complex plot as the RP progresses. That’s what I’ve done with my current one. I stated that there was a “dark secret hidden in the hills of West Virginia that all groups in the region are fighting to find and potentially take control over it.” At the time of creation, I just threw that in there last second as a way to make it unique or different, something to catch your eye. But at the time, I didn’t have a clue what it was at all. But I slowly started to develop an idea, and I have one now at this point. It’s not completely worked out, but I have a really good General idea that’s slightly detailed.

So I don’t think that with certain RP’s you need a good plot right away (which I know you didn’t say, I’m just stating this in general). I think you can leave something in there that you can develop as time goes on for the plot. Maybe it’s just my luck with my gamble here that leads me to say this. The plot just has to be there at some point, but not right away.

 

[rae2nerdy]

The funny thing is, though, that the two people who post the most frequent with me on my RP are people that just so happened to come across it and apply. I mean, we only really talk in the OOC which is pretty much daily). I suppose they’re friends, sure. But I wouldn’t say they’re good friends. I guess I just happened to be lucky.

There is, however, a big issue with plots, I feel. Admittedly, I’m hesitant with making RP’s that have a really well thought out plot because I know, odds are, that it won’t go anywhere, or will die off quick, most likely. What I do (if possible) is leave something in there that could turn into a complex plot as the RP progresses. That’s what I’ve done with my current one. I stated that there was a “dark secret hidden in the hills of West Virginia that all groups in the region are fighting to find and potentially take control over it.” At the time of creation, I just threw that in there last second as a way to make it unique or different, something to catch your eye. But at the time, I didn’t have a clue what it was at all. But I slowly started to develop an idea, and I have one now at this point. It’s not completely worked out, but I have a really good General idea that’s slightly detailed.

So I don’t think that with certain RP’s you need a good plot right away (which I know you didn’t say, I’m just stating this in general). I think you can leave something in there that you can develop as time goes on for the plot. Maybe it’s just my luck with my gamble here that leads me to say this. The plot just has to be there at some point, but not right away.

Well perhaps friends is just my own experience but I think we can both agree it's the small group that helps ( regardless of whether or not your besties ). This is because it allows you to actually communicate effectively and get everyone on the same page. Which leads into point two.

Large groups are just too spread out with too many conflicting people / schedules / ideas / etc. 1x1s can fall into a similar trap with different ideas but tend as a whole to be better suited to long term roleplays. Just because if you can iron out your issues early enough chances are you'll be able to keep up a stream up communication going that will keep you interested / active in the roleplay.

In your case it was an accident but you're basically just describing either a large 1x1 ( three people ) or a small group ( four to five people ). Now you might have more people pop up but the core group is small enough to keep a close communication going and to keep the story fresh for the people in that group.

Now as for plot I meant more in the case you have to have a format for the story to continue. I think the thing that mostly kills all my long term 1x1s ( the ones that go on for a few months ) is I don't have any plan for longevity. I have a setting and maybe an initial idea but no real clear plan for keeping that idea going for a long period of time.

Sorry I wasn't clear I wasn't talking like you have to have this long drawn out plot from the get go ( although I assume it might help ) just that you need to be able to keep a story going on once you pass the initial month or so and you're still going strong.

That's my big issue. I get through the first month / maybe two / and I have no idea what to do from there. ( and since I'm usually the one pushing the plot it's kind of like two kids going : sooo what do you want to do? i dunno what to you wanna do ? )

 

[Peacemaker .45]

Well perhaps friends is just my own experience but I think we can both agree it's the small group that helps ( regardless of whether or not your besties ). This is because it allows you to actually communicate effectively and get everyone on the same page. Which leads into point two.

Large groups are just too spread out with too many conflicting people / schedules / ideas / etc. 1x1s can fall into a similar trap with different ideas but tend as a whole to be better suited to long term roleplays. Just because if you can iron out your issues early enough chances are you'll be able to keep up a stream up communication going that will keep you interested / active in the roleplay.

In your case it was an accident but you're basically just describing either a large 1x1 ( three people ) or a small group ( four to five people ). Now you might have more people pop up but the core group is small enough to keep a close communication going and to keep the story fresh for the people in that group.

Now as for plot I meant more in the case you have to have a format for the story to continue. I think the thing that mostly kills all my long term 1x1s ( the ones that go on for a few months ) is I don't have any plan for longevity. I have a setting and maybe an initial idea but no real clear plan for keeping that idea going for a long period of time.

Sorry I wasn't clear I wasn't talking like you have to have this long drawn out plot from the get go ( although I assume it might help ) just that you need to be able to keep a story going on once you pass the initial month or so and you're still going strong.

That's my big issue. I get through the first month / maybe two / and I have no idea what to do from there. ( and since I'm usually the one pushing the plot it's kind of like two kids going : sooo what do you want to do? i dunno what to you wanna do ? )

You’re right. The long term picture is important, but the short term story is probably even more important. If you don’t have anything going on, no one knows what to write. And that’s an issue. That’s where people, as you said, are like two little kids asking each other what they want to do but they just keep asking the other with no real answer.

I might have a solution, but it does require quite a bit of thinking.

My solution for this would to sit down and map out a couple of different short term things to have the characters do. They don’t have to be necessarily anything big or complex. For example, if you’re doing a survival RP (such as myself), come up with some mission that might have some sort of significance, or one that can develop characters. Write these ideas down, and furthermore, write what their purpose could be (character development, character relationships, romances, new character/group/faction/event). And you can implement them in. That could help with short term.

Of course, it could go far more complex, as could the implications of the short term plot points. I’m really good with survival RP’s (which might be why the one I’m GMing is going well as of now, of course along with the other writers) so this stuff is easy for me to come up with. But, maybe a strategy like this could work with other types of RP’s.

I suppose some people get too caught up in the short term and have no long term plot vision, whereas others have a long term plot vision (which I’m guilty of myself), and not have a short term vision to lead up to the long term plot vision. I think there needs to be a balance. However, the short term vision is very important to moving the plot forward. I myself am working on the short term plot vision for my RP, as I’m doing what I suggested. I suppose it’s all a learning experience.

 

[marshmarrow]

I always do my best to stay in contact with the GM as a player, and with the players as a GM.

I think there is nothing a GM can do if the players simply drop out. You can't force someone into or stay in an RP they don't want to do. However, there are certain steps you can take to minimize the chance of it occurring. It's up to the individual to take the initiative of messaging the GM and informing them of an absence or a drop.

As silly as it sounds, I think people just expect the GM to know they want to drop out. And the GM has too high of an expectation to anticipate regular communication between them and the players. In the end, if a roleplay dies, everyone is at fault. There is always a method to prevent that from happening, but no one seems to want to do it.

There is nothing that can stop communication between the GM and the players except for the GM and the players.

 

[teaanddice]

Mainly, I found that at due to lack of communication, don’t forget that you are posting on forums/PMs, which is very inconvenient to check all the time. Easy to grow wary of it.

 

[Uncultured]

I'm sorry. I came back to this thread and reread what I wrote and realized its more or less just a rant; but in the year or two I've been actively RPing I've never had a satisfying experience with an RP, almost all of them not even getting past the opening stages and there being no real explanation for it, and I guess my frustration just kind of reached a breaking point.

I'm probably just going to step away from RPing from here on out because I'm tired of putting so much time into my characters and worlds only for the story to be cut short.

I have made RPs with world maps, mission boards, fully fleshed out NPCs, a dope storyline and 20 "super interested" people.... that died in 3 days. Idk what it is. I think people are generally less interested than they appear

 

[rae2nerdy]

You’re right. The long term picture is important, but the short term story is probably even more important. If you don’t have anything going on, no one knows what to write. And that’s an issue. That’s where people, as you said, are like two little kids asking each other what they want to do but they just keep asking the other with no real answer.

I might have a solution, but it does require quite a bit of thinking.

My solution for this would to sit down and map out a couple of different short term things to have the characters do. They don’t have to be necessarily anything big or complex. For example, if you’re doing a survival RP (such as myself), come up with some mission that might have some sort of significance, or one that can develop characters. Write these ideas down, and furthermore, write what their purpose could be (character development, character relationships, romances, new character/group/faction/event). And you can implement them in. That could help with short term.

Of course, it could go far more complex, as could the implications of the short term plot points. I’m really good with survival RP’s (which might be why the one I’m GMing is going well as of now, of course along with the other writers) so this stuff is easy for me to come up with. But, maybe a strategy like this could work with other types of RP’s.

I suppose some people get too caught up in the short term and have no long term plot vision, whereas others have a long term plot vision (which I’m guilty of myself), and not have a short term vision to lead up to the long term plot vision. I think there needs to be a balance. However, the short term vision is very important to moving the plot forward. I myself am working on the short term plot vision for my RP, as I’m doing what I suggested. I suppose it’s all a learning experience.

I do understand about breaking a roleplay into smaller encounters ( I did it all the time when I did superhero or gifted school groups ) it's just a little harder to do in 1x1s because there is a lot less of a pre-planning typically and you have to make a lot of those mini missions together rather than just one person doing all the pre-planning themselves and the letting the rest of the group go through it.

It's the one benefit groups have actually, it makes a lot of the pre-planning easier when all the world building is in one person's hands.

 

[Lil Shirou]

Mainly, I found that at due to lack of communication, don’t forget that you are posting on forums/PMs, which is very inconvenient to check all the time. Easy to grow wary of it.

I find this a lazy thing to say because you should be checking pms or occ on a regular passes. Even if your not having conversation between each other. Especially if your a gm. You should be answering questions and getting feedback on events.

 

[teaanddice]

I find this a lazy thing to say because you should be checking pms or occ on a regular passes. Even if your not having conversation between each other. Especially if your a gm. You should be answering questions and getting feedback on events.

Lazy? yes, certainly. But also truthful.

 

[Terrabreak]

I always assumed that people banish because they get bored of the rp/doesnt turns out the way they expected it would and dont have the guts to tell their fellow roleplayers so they just act like the rp never existed and move on.

 

[Tabby]

I've been in some RPs for 7 years (and ongoing) and others I haven't even finished characters for. There's SO many possible reasons to bounce or stick around it's hard to really give a reason why someone bounced.

For me personally, if I'm going to stick around, I just want some kind of chemistry / relationship. NOT romantic, for clarity. I steer well clear of that. But something where I genuinely feel a connection. Friendship, rivalry, forced allies, whatever. It varies a lot. Bonus if the characters grow together in some form and ideally can even help each other with their respective plots; some of the best character development I've ever had was with two characters who were made by people who had never met each other, with completely different themes and goals and endgames, who ended up meeting and somehow gelling and helping each other through their problems.

And you know what? By the end of it they were friends. Not just friends in name or word. But in genuine fact. They had been through hell together. They had seen the worst of each other, found out the dark secrets that they each thought made them horrible people, and stuck together through it all.

I've also dipped on RPs because I cannot fucking stand someone I can't avoid, because the systems are obnoxiously overcomplicated, because IRL/OOC drama (spoilers: when a partner decides you are 'his' woman, IC and OOC, shit gets weird fast), because life decided to dick me for a month straight, and yeah, honestly, sometimes because I'm just not feeling it. It sucks. I've had it happen to me too and it still sucks. Best you can hope for is communication really.

I've also had people where I RP with them like 10 posts a day for 3 months, then we talk on AIM (not anymore rip) for a few weeks, then we pick the characters back up and go. Other times I'll RP 5 a day with them until life hits them. It just depends on too much to give any kind of universal answer imo.