Viewpoint What is one thing you wish to roleplay, without getting judged?

[Malphaestus]

Okay I got judged because I made a roleplay with straight people like fxm only. I been judged before too. But I am straight, I have a few lgbt+ plot but they are only fewer, mostly are straight cause Idk maybe I think like one cause I am one.

What am I supposed to do if my plot, I already planned it in certain way and someone is gonna judge me on based on that. I mean.. it's the way it is, not every plot is supposed to be lgbt+

I don't have anything against lgbt+ cause one time even I was doubting myself of bring a bi but I wanted to say it out here coz..

I am not that kind of person, I felt really hurt when they judged me cause I really didn't mean it. It wasn't even like I said something, I just explained the plot.

Though it is easier said than done, nonetheless, do not allow others power over you. Your preferences are nothing which anyone else has the right to fault you for.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Okay I got judged because I made a roleplay with straight people like fxm only. I been judged before too. But I am straight, I have a few lgbt+ plot but they are only fewer, mostly are straight cause Idk maybe I think like one cause I am one.

What am I supposed to do if my plot, I already planned it in certain way and someone is gonna judge me on based on that. I mean.. it's the way it is, not every plot is supposed to be lgbt+

I don't have anything against lgbt+ cause one time even I was doubting myself of bring a bi but I wanted to say it out here coz..

I am not that kind of person, I felt really hurt when they judged me cause I really didn't mean it. It wasn't even like I said something, I just explained the plot.

So I would say calling yourself “a bi” would be the problem. It’s a bit like saying “I’m a black.”

In case English is not your first language the problem is you are dehumanizing a marginalized community by putting “a” in front of the identity. You are not “a straight” you are straight. You are not “a bi” you are bi.

Now I am sure you didn’t intend to say anything upsetting but that is very likely what happened. You hurt the other persons feelings by acting like sexuality makes them subhuman. (Presuming they were LGBTQ or even just wanted that kind of plot.)

 

[Bornfire]

Some people only do FxM while others only do gay pairings. It has always seemed odd to me for people to judge others based on these preferences. I mean, I don't do much MxM anymore, but I don't judge those who want MxM RP's. I just skip past those interest checks and move on.

Yeah I guess, same for me..

 

[Bornfire]

Though it is easier said than done, nonetheless, do not allow others power over you. Your preferences are nothing which anyone else has the right to fault you for.

Thank you.

 

[Bornfire]

So I would say calling yourself “a bi” would be the problem. It’s a bit like saying “I’m a black.”

In case English is not your first language the problem is you are dehumanizing a marginalized community by putting “a” in front of the identity. You are not “a straight” you are straight. You are not “a bi” you are bi.

Now I am sure you didn’t intend to say anything upsetting but that is very likely what happened. You hurt the other persons feelings by acting like sexuality makes them subhuman. (Presuming they were LGBTQ or even just wanted that kind of plot.)

English isn't my first language, yes, also maybe yeah you are right they might be hurt too.. even if I didn't mean it..

 

[Malphaestus]

So I would say calling yourself “a bi” would be the problem. It’s a bit like saying “I’m a black.”

In case English is not your first language the problem is you are dehumanizing a marginalized community by putting “a” in front of the identity. You are not “a straight” you are straight. You are not “a bi” you are bi.

Now I am sure you didn’t intend to say anything upsetting but that is very likely what happened. You hurt the other persons feelings by acting like sexuality makes them subhuman. (Presuming they were LGBTQ or even just wanted that kind of plot.)

What a silly perspective. Finding fault in people's linguistics, extrapolating far too much out of mere words than intent allows. I would pity the mind that finds egregious evil within the mere addition of "a" before a category of individuals. Bornfire , you should never answer for things you have not done.

 

[Jannah]

What a silly perspective. Finding fault in people's linguistics, extrapolating far too much out of mere words than intent allows. I would pity the mind that finds egregious evil within the mere addition of "a" before a category of individuals. Bornfire , you should never answer for things you have not done.

Yea, I certainly don't think she was trying to offend anyone (and I am on the LGBTQA+ spectrum). It's not like she was using slurs or something.

 

[nerdy tangents]

English isn't my first language, yes, also maybe yeah you are right they might be hurt too.. even if I didn't mean it..

As someone who has been intentionally put in situation where people use those phrases they were most definitely hurt. I have had people go into really hateful rants because I was “a gay” (I am not actually but that’s another topic).

And yeah it hurts your feelings even if you just end up blocking the person.

I find in these situations just saying “I don’t think we can be partners” is usually better all around. If they yell at you anyway just block them.

 

[Malphaestus]

As someone who has been intentionally put in situation where people use those phrases they were most definitely hurt. I have had people go into really hateful rants because I was “a gay” (I am actually but that’s another topic).

And yeah it hurts your feelings even if you just end up blocking the person.

I find in these situations just saying “I don’t think we can be partners” is usually better all around. If they yell at you anyway just block them.

One can be upset by anything, both good and bad. If someone had intent, then it is obvious. The error of the one stating someone to be "a gay," lies in their perspective. Not in how they utilized their words on this particular topic. People with lesser english comprehension, or just less of a care for correct wordage, should not receive unjust complaints for their supposed "evil." There are some things, when put to word, are true evil, and the scars they weave cannot be undone. But finding "a" followed by category of people to be of that level simply means one seeks to find issues anywhere.

This is the words of a human.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Yea, I certainly don't think she was trying to offend anyone (and I am on the LGBTQA+ spectrum). It's not like she was using slurs or something.

So it’s called a microagression. The whole point is that it’s a small hurtful thing that can build up with time.

It’s the idea that if you call someone ugly every day for years eventually they start to believe it.

And sure not every single person who calls you “ugly, unfortunate looking, plain, etc.” is intending to be hurtful. But it’s not just one person saying it. And over time the overall message is that you aren’t good enough and THAT hurts peoples feelings.

So do I think OP intended to hurt feelings? No.
Which is why I mentioned the negative association with “a bi”. As there are plenty of people who would have the negative connotation with that phrase. And I didn’t want OP to inadvertently hurt peoples feelings over a simple miscommunication.

It’s also why my second recommendation was just to say “I don’t think we are a good fit.”

Because you don’t actually owe anyone an explanation in roleplay planning. For the amount people scream about ghosting sometimes a simple “Hey I’m sorry I don’t think I can continue” is usually appreciated.

I like to expand in discussions because I know a lot more people read then respond and sometimes it’s nice to hear different perspectives then your own.

 

[nerdy tangents]

To tie it back in, I actually will leave immediately if someone says they aren’t comfortable with LGBTQ+ themes. Not necessarily because I require them in roleplays (I usually prefer platonic stories when possible and have no real preference for romance.)

But because I like to imagine diverse worlds and to me that includes LGBTQ+ people. It’s a central part of my world building (even if it doesn’t matter on screen so to speak) so I usually just skip folks who say “No LGBTQ+ themes”.

Also people who require use the term dominant or submissive to describe characters. I just don’t like the tropes associated with the terms so I click the back button immediately,

 

[sevyn]

To tie it back in, I actually will leave immediately if someone says they aren’t comfortable with LGBTQ+ themes. Not necessarily because I require them in roleplays (I usually prefer platonic stories when possible and have no real preference for romance.)

definitely agree with this. maybe because i normally double up, so usually when someone says they don't do wlw or mlm relationships, they're restricting me solely to straight pairings when many of mine are in gay relationships. but also like you said, it's weird to act like lgbtq people can't just exist in the background, even if you don't want them as your main pairing.

i do slightly disagree with your stance on the use of "a bi" - just cause i've seen other lgbtq describe themselves as that. i'm a lesbian, i'm a bisexual, i wouldn't generally put it on the same level as saying "blacks" instead of "black people" lol. but, i can also see why it's way different coming from a straight person than it is coming from another lgbtq person.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I do slightly disagree with your stance on the use of "a bi" - just cause i've seen other lgbtq describe themselves as that. i'm a lesbian, i'm a bisexual, i wouldn't generally put it on the same level as saying "blacks" instead of "black people" lol. but, i can also see why it's way different coming from a straight person than it is coming from another lgbtq person.

I think that’s the key problem. I don’t necessarily know anyone who would call themselves “A black” as an entire sentence.

It would be “I’m a black woman/man/etc.”

Or “I’m gay, bi, whatever.”

By an outside describing a stranger as “a gay or a black” it makes it seem like the identity is out of the ordinary or odd.

 

[Lorsh]

For awhile, I felt sorta bad about there not being many avenues for diverse characters in my fantasy RP (not that the whole world is insular, but you're specifically playing as local [european-esque] nobility), and was worried people would think it's icky because I've seen a lot of "medieval world except racism/homophobia/sexism doesn't exist at all" type settings lately, and my RPs tend to have a helping of all three, along with the more fantastical prejudices like hate for nonhumans, wizards, etc. I think it's primarily judged for being overdone (cuz GoT) rather than for PC reasons though, but still, it's more my preference to have superstitious, divided and hateful worlds (where virtue can stand out) rather than something that's just automatically a lovely mosaic.

 

[nerdy tangents]

For awhile, I felt sorta bad about there not being many avenues for diverse characters in my fantasy RP (not that the whole world is insular, but you're specifically playing as local [european-esque] nobility), and was worried people would think it's icky because I've seen a lot of "medieval world except racism/homophobia/sexism doesn't exist at all" type settings lately, and my RPs tend to have a helping of all three, along with the more fantastical prejudices like hate for nonhumans, wizards, etc. I think it's primarily judged for being overdone (cuz GoT) rather than for PC reasons though, but still, it's more my preference to have superstitious, divided and hateful worlds (where virtue can stand out) rather than something that's just automatically a lovely mosaic.

I think it’s how you portray it. My favorite fantasy author dealt with I believe three distinct time periods and two separate universes. Each had its own distinct prejudices and in the case of one you got to see the prejudice start, it’s heyday, and it get dismantled.

But at each stage it was presented as a bad way of thinking by the text even if the characters themselves found it fine and normal. And it never exoticized marginalized identities. It was just “these people do stuff different and that’s fine, even if the characters are dickholes about it.”

 

[Jannah]

For awhile, I felt sorta bad about there not being many avenues for diverse characters in my fantasy RP (not that the whole world is insular, but you're specifically playing as local [european-esque] nobility), and was worried people would think it's icky because I've seen a lot of "medieval world except racism/homophobia/sexism doesn't exist at all" type settings lately, and my RPs tend to have a helping of all three, along with the more fantastical prejudices like hate for nonhumans, wizards, etc. I think it's primarily judged for being overdone (cuz GoT) rather than for PC reasons though, but still, it's more my preference to have superstitious, divided and hateful worlds (where virtue can stand out) rather than something that's just automatically a lovely mosaic.

I mean, it's fine if people want to play in worlds without prejudice as a form of escapism or whatever (everyone has different reasons for writing, after all), but it can be rather infuriating when they choose to condemn and police others for choosing to incorporate those themes. I think it's fine as long as said themes are not being glamorized or anything like that. Same with things like mental illness and any kind of abuse, really.

 

[Thelightone]

The Borrowers concept but darker themed.