Realistic or Modern ❥ — 𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 ( 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 )

[constellation]

[div class=container][div class=border] [div class=mainbox][div class=title]TROUBLED HEARTS

[div class=butt][div class=button][/div][div class=button2][/div][div class=buttonicon][/div][/div]i [div class="tab tab1 one"][/div] [div class="tab tab2 two"][/div] [div class="tab tab3 three"][/div] [div class="tab tab4 four"][/div] [div class="tab tab5 five"][/div][/div] [div class=line][/div] [div class="tabtitle tt1 titleenter"]home[/div] [div class="tabtitle tt2"]the plot[/div] [div class="tabtitle tt3"]a message from your gms[/div] [div class="tabtitle tt4"]the roles[/div] [div class="tabtitle tt5"]the character sheet[/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents1 show"][div class=scroll][div class=imgquote][div class=quote]the higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you fall when someone finally breaks them down.[/div][/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents2"][div class=scroll]Love — a simple, 4-letter word with such an intricate meaning. There's a reason why love is invisible, completely undetectable to anything but our minds; we simply aren't evolved enough to be trusted with it. People would try to engineer it, alter it, use it, even weaponize it. That's exactly what went wrong for this group of six. Due to suffering from either abusive, toxic or troubled past relationships, they now believe that they cannot be loved, that they are unworthy of love. For that reason alone, they each try their hand at therapy in hopes that it will help them overcome their problems. But when things don't seem to be improving for them, their individual therapists resort to their final option and only hope. What is the final option? Sanguine Island. Sanguine is an island that specialises in helping people recover from heartaches and disguised demons, a professional team that works with people who have unfortunately suffered from abusive relationships. On the island, each person will meet others who have experienced and dealt with the same pain as themselves. Together as one, they will try their best to help each other to heal, to learn, and most importantly, to love themselves and each other.[/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents3"][div class=scroll]alright alright alright. how's it going? it's your resident hot messes back at it again with yet another angsty rp that is sure to rip your heart out and give you all of the feels. this plot has been under development for a long time and we finally got our shiz together and made it happen. it's stated in the plot and rules but please keep in mind that these characters all endured toxic and/or abusive past relationships. therefore, this wont be a sunshine and rainbows filled role-play, rather, a dark and heavy one with A LOT of mature topics and themes. please only apply if you are prepared for topics and themes of that nature. okay, enough of the heavy talk. thanks again for expressing interest and we're really excited to see all of the future characters c : xoxo, moonmoon & constellation[/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents4"][div class=scroll]

the lover

[div class=scroll]the lover is the definition of a selfless person. a loving, selfless person. however, that selflessness blinded him and kept him from noticing the toxicity brewing in his relationship. all he wants to do is love, love, love, and be loved in return. but his significant other did not feel the same, did not love him in return. the lover tried his best to ignore it, tried to keep pushing for love and just kept loving until it became too much and he couldn't love anymore. [ taken by nobody. ]

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the idealist

[div class=scroll]the idealist is someone who was too focused on perfecting herself while also trying to create this perfect relationship. so invested in this was she that she didn't realize she was driving her significant other away. as a result of feeling like they were being driven out, the significant other turned to verbal abuse and took their frustrations out on the idealist. [ taken by nobody. ]

[/div]

the vain

[div class=scroll]the vain has been in the spotlight for several years now. everywhere he goes, paparazzi follows him around, fans constantly ask for selfies, and it seems as if every other week, the vain has someone new on his arms. all of this fame has allowed his ego to expand to the size of a hot air balloon. he thinks he's hot shit and will do absolutely anything to further his career. but behind closed doors, things are not as they seem. the reason why the vain seems to be with someone new everyday is because he's scared to let someone in, having been hurt too many times in the past. no commitment, you'll only get hurt in the end. [ taken by erised ]

[/div]

the spitfire

[div class=scroll]as their namesake, the spitfire says what comes to mind. she's a challenger, a fighter if you will. everything is a challenge to her and she won’t hesitate to fight back. due to her nature, the spitfire has started too many petty fights with her significant other, who managed to give it right back. hurtful words were exchanged, ugly insults were spat, and two people were left beyond repair. [ taken by constellation . ]

[/div]

the explorer

[div class=scroll]the explorer is…well… an explorer. seemingly unable to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time, he's constantly out searching for the next best thing. he's so caught up in going on new adventures and discovering new experiences that he begins to neglect his significant other. he doesn’t mean to do it, it just happens. safe to say the significant other isn’t happy and confronts the explorer, which leads to many tears, heartbreaks and leaves the explorer wondering — was i not good enough? [ taken by nobody. ]

[/div]

the conflicted

[div class=scroll]the conflicted is one who is hella loyal, but has always felt a bit anxious at heart. do they love me do they love me not? can i trust them or not? do they want to be around me or do they not? these are just a few of the questions that constantly bounce around in her head. in relationships, she constantly asks her significant other if they love her. eventually, the significant other becomes so fed up with hearing the conflicted ask this that they leave. now she figures she should just give up on relationships all together. [ taken by nobody. ]

[/div]

[/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents5"][div class=scroll]

basics name nickname age (22+) date of birth place of birth gender sexuality role

appearance height hair colour eye colour build any distinguishing features? body modifications physical ailments face claim

persona positives (5+ — paragraph or list form with descriptions) negatives (5+ — paragraph or list form with descriptions) strengths (3+) weaknesses (3+) fears ambitions

backstory history (paragraph or bullet points) family or any signficant others

the interview — what brings you to sanguine island? — how long have you attended therapy? — what is the problem from your viewpoint? — how does this problem typically make you feel? — if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life? — what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?

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[constellation]

[div class=container][div class=border] [div class=main][div class=mainimage]

[div class=textbox][div class=scroll][div class=tag]name.[/div]

maia antônia oliveria​

[div class=tag]nickname.[/div]

none​

[div class=tag]age.[/div]

twenty-four​

[div class=tag]date of birth.[/div]

fourth of august​

[div class=tag]place of birth.[/div]

state of rio de janeiro, brazil​

[div class=tag]gender.[/div]

female​

[div class=tag]sexuality.[/div]

heterosexual​

[/div][/div][/div] [div class=mone][div class=outsidetb][div class=insidetb][div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]height.[/div]

five foot, eight inches.​

[div class=tag]hair.[/div]

maia's hair is generally somewhere between straight and wavy. she prefers to keep her hair down, although will often style it upwards if her locks would hinder her otherwise. her hair colour is naturally a deep brown.​

[div class=tag]eyes.[/div]

maia's eyes are a dull, chocolate brown, occasionally enhanced by eye makeup.​

[div class=tag]build.[/div]

her svelte form is naturally thin and toned with gentle, fitting curves and long, slender limbs..​

[div class=tag]distinctive features.[/div]

aside from her generic ear piercings, maia has a few scars, one on her thigh from a bullet wound and the others mostly from an adventurous childhood. on a less physical note, maia is trilingual, speaking spanish (native), portuguese (fluent), and english (fluent). her english is slightly accented, enough that people can tell she's not a native speaker.​

[div class=tag]body modifications.[/div]

maia has two tattoos; one on the inside of her right foot near her ankle area that is an anchor — she originally got it to remember that she has a safe haven and to keep her feet on the ground forever. her second tattoo is of a small heart on the inside of her finger.​

[div class=tag]physical ailments.[/div]

maia has been struggling with a bad case of insomnia and anxiety since the traumatising event.​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]persona.[/div]

maia is not a girl with a pretty personality wrapped in fine silk. she is not a girl of many masks, nor one with many shields — she only has one, an iron gate guarding the most vulnerable in her heart. maia is a refreshingly honest person, for better or for worse. she's simple and straightforward; she tells it as it is. she doesn't sugarcoat her words or her intentions. whether you want it or not, you're going to get the truth. lazy couldn't possibly describe someone like maia. her ambition is so strong almost to the point of idealistic foolishness. she's incredibly strong-willed and determined to succeed and be the best — to some, it might even be the slightest bit concerning. maia is the type of person who'd stay up all night and disregard her health in order to perfect something or get something done. it's not just mere drive, though; if maia doesn't do this, she'll start feeling anxious and fidgety. insomnia will come back and visit her every night until she can achieve what she wants to achieve. maia might not fit the mould of sagely and kind person, but she is surprisingly wise. her words might hit you like bullets, but they'll be honest and legitimately helpful. while maia isn't the first person people would visit for advice, more than likely due to her harsh nature, she displays incredibly good judgement. sadly, she often tends to make irrational choices when it comes to herself. as people say, idealism precedes experience, while wisdom and cynicism is what follows. plain and simple, maia's a cynic. she's often quite sardonic, and her brutal honesty and crassness will make you feel like your head just got shoved in a bucket of ice water. she is an icy cold realist, and believes that everyone has some selfish intentions at heart, and that no one can be completely selfless or good-hearted. she seems to have no hope in humanity. in reality, maia's a brutally realistic person who doesn't rely on hope or faith. she's always the one to ruin the mood when people are feeling optimistic.​

[div class=tag]strengths.[/div]

[ self-defence ] maia has picked up on some form of physical fighting due to her time at the police academy. though, it's not something she's practised in a while since her injury.​

[div class=tag]weaknesses.[/div]

[ trust ] not many people come into maia's life besides her family and because of that, she has difficulty opening up and trusting other people. [ social skills ] the whole concept of white lies to make someone feel better, sugar coating something or just being polite can sometimes be lost on maia. she is a brutally honest type person, which often makes her more of an outsider than a trusted confidant. things she says usually comes off harsh, rude and sometimes offensive.​

[div class=tag]fears.[/div]

[ being abandoned ] maia doesn't really fear people being taken away from her as much as the people she cares about leaving at their own free will. it's not the act of being left out to dry that scares maia, it's the idea that she's not enough for people to stay by her side at their own will. [ drowning ] considering her childhood, maia is terrified of drowning and can't function when she's anywhere near lakes, oceans, or any form of a body of water. because of this, she'd rather stay away from it. [ losing herself ] for as long as maia can remember, she's been a shell of who she really is. growing up, she was moulded into what her mother wanted (but failed regardless) and because of this, she fears that she will lose her touch with humanity.​

[div class=tag]ambitions.[/div]

being able to go back on duty since it was what made her feel good about herself as she enjoyed taking down the bad guys and helping in any way or form. learning to love herself again and not living up to other's expectations.​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]history.[/div]

maia was born on a sunny august afternoon, that her mother often recounted as the most beautiful day she'd ever seen. maia's mother was a competitive surfer and a good one at that. no wonder her father found her so enticing, she was one of the little few he'd ever seen that could successfully tame the waves. they had a rather puppy love relationship that lasted a little while, before her father eventually had to return back to his home, having only been there on a small vacation. maia's mother never said one bad thing against him, only speaking positively about the man who was supposedly her real father. when maia was four, her mother fell in love with a local marine biologist that spent the majority of the time out in the ocean. he welcomed maia as his own daughter, and to this day she's always felt more of a connection with him than her biological father. he was the one that always took her out on the waters starting when she was six and found her love for the sea. when she was twelve, her stepfather and she went out on a seemingly normal sunday afternoon that quickly turned into a dark and cold storm. the waves were enormous and their small boat was no match for the beasts. on the second wave that rocked the boat, both maia and her father fell straight into the ocean, and for a split moment, she thought she was going to die. in the midst of her panic, she felt a rather strong arm loop around her body and was propelled back to the surface of the water. her father somehow managed to swim back towards the boat, ludging her onto the deck and before he could save himself, the wave caught him and he was no longer anywhere to be seen. scared and alone, maia hid and waited for anybody to notice that she and her father were gone. the very next day, she awoke to a local fisherman who helped her return home back to her mother. that very moment changed their lives and to this day, she can never fully describe the experience. her mother could only blame maia for wanting to go out on the water that very day. for a very long time, maia dealt with a lot of verbal abuse and her mother constantly berated her for not being good enough, until eventually, she kicked her out at the age of eighteen. thankfully, maia found solace in one of her friends who let her stay as long as she needed. after feeling helpless for so long, maia wanted an outlet to feel better about herself so she eventually decided to join the police academy a town over. it was quite the stretch for her but she learned to love it, and eventually met who she thought would be the love of her life. she met nathaniel bianchi throughout the duration of her training which lasted about fifteen weeks and at first, their relationship started off with some friendly competition, seeing who could beat the other at anything. then finally, when they both graduated and became real cops, they decided to make it official by moving into an apartment together and settling down. for once, she no longer felt insecure about herself. however, a couple of years later when she was twenty-two, maia was shot while on duty and the bullet went straight through her thigh, hitting the main artery. she spent at least two months in the hospital and for the longest time, she felt like she was never going to be able to walk again. she began to grow agitated and almost everything, including nathaniel who at the time, was only trying to help her. visitation at the hospital only ended with arguments where they spat hurtful words, ugly insults and it was sometimes days before he would visit her again. it became so repetitive that eventually, he stopped seeing her completely and would only text, or call if he was bothered. it was another twelve weeks of physical therapy to help maia regain strength and flexibility, and when she was finally allowed to go home, she discovered her boyfriend cheating on her. that was the last call for her. being shot, followed by ending her relationship took quite the toll on maia. oftentimes, she never felt safe in her own apartment, especially being alone. most days she felt angry at herself because she failed not only her job but her relationship too. thus the start of very long therapist appointments recommended by her boss after maia failed to pass her psych screening.​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]what brings you to sanguine island?[/div]

"my therapist suggested the idea. i didn't really want to go but considering there was nothing left for me, i decided why the hell not. let's actually see if this whole love thing works."​

[div class=tag]how long have you attended therapy?[/div]

"since my doctor recommended it a couple of months back. i laughed in his face when he did, how is me telling somebody my shitty life story supposed to help? yeah, i have no clue either."​

[div class=tag]what is the problem from your viewpoint?[/div]

"i'm positive it's not just one problem. my whole life is a joke. nothing good ever happens. i should have been engaged to my boyfriend right now but i guess he didn't dig the whole patient look while i was in the hospital recovering."​

[div class=tag]how does this problem typically make you feel?[/div]

"which problem? when i got shot in the thigh? being stuck behind my desk until i pass my psych screening so my boss can finally let me go on duty? or my boyfriend cheating on me?"​

[div class=tag]if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?[/div]

"jeez, if i could, i'd start my life all over. right from the start. back to when i was just a little kid. or i guess since my life has already gone terribly wrong, i'd make use of that wand and wish for all the homeless kids to have homes. something good like that."​

[div class=tag]what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?[/div]

"i guess getting over being scared all the time and being able to live in my own skin. i'm so tired of living like this. i just want to go back to when i felt powerful and i didn't need to depend on anyone. i got so used to have somebody with me at home."​

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[/div][/div][/div] [div class=left][div class=name]PALMER[/div] [div class=tabs][div class="tab tab1 chosen"][/div] [div class="tab tab2"][/div] [div class="tab tab3"][/div] [div class="tab tab4"][/div] [div class="tab tab5"][/div][/div] [div class=outsidetb][div class=insidetb][div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]korean name.[/div]

jeong kihyun​

[div class=tag]english name.[/div]

palmer jeong​

[div class=tag]stage name.[/div]

palmer​

[div class=tag]nickname.[/div]

palm tree by the fans kiki (do u love me) by the members​

[div class=tag]age.[/div]

twenty-two​

[div class=tag]date of birth.[/div]

july 30th​

[div class=tag]place of birth.[/div]

suwon, gyeonggi-do, south korea (raised in new zealand)​

[div class=tag]ethnicity.[/div]

korean​

[div class=tag]nationality.[/div]

kiwi (new zealander)​

[div class=tag]gender.[/div]

male​

[div class=tag]sexuality.[/div]

pansexual​

[div class=tag]role.[/div]

the vain​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]height.[/div]

178cm (5'10")​

[div class=tag]hair color.[/div]

naturally dark brown but is dyed platinum​

[div class=tag]eye color.[/div]

brown but wears colored contacts on stage​

[div class=tag]build.[/div]

ectomorph​

[div class=tag]any distinguishing features?[/div]

freckles next to his left ear​

[div class=tag]body modifications.[/div]

double piercings in each ear and a feather tattooed on his bicep​

[div class=tag]physical ailments[/div]

he tore his acl in school and still has problems with it so has to wear a knee brace on stage sometimes​

[div class=tag]face claim[/div]

li byounggon​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]positives.[/div]

kihyun, or palmer as he's more commonly known as, does have some good things about his personality. for starters, he's very passionate about music and what he does. he's constantly rehearsing the choreography that he's come up with, belting lyrics at the top of his lungs, updating fans on what's happening in his life, going live, etc.. this goes hand in hand with the creative side of him, the side that is constantly writing songs, recording songs, spending days in the studio editing and producing and mixing. if a song doesn't turn out the way he wanted it to, if he can't get choreography right, if someone tells him that something sucks and he needs to start over--whatever. palmer's resiliency comes in clutch here. he always finds a way to bounce back, to come out of something stronger than he had been before. due to his charming nature, he also always finds a way to woo everyone over. he uses his looks to his advantage to win people over and once they're in, they're in for good. when he wants to be, he is very talkative, outgoing, friendly and just all around likable. keywords being: when he wants to be.​

[div class=tag]negatives.[/div]

palmer "doesn't want to be" more often than not. more often than not, he is very hard to please. he's known for being very fussy about what he wants and if he doesn't get it when he wants it, he throws a fit. if he wants a red headband for a show, it better be a red headband. not blue, not green, not purple, not yellow. red. and if it isn't red, you best bet you're gonna be hearing about it. but he's also known for making a fuss about things he won't do or doesn't want to do. kihyun can possess quite the stubborn streak. if someone is trying to force him to do something he doesn't want to do, he will put his foot down and outright refuse. once he has an opinion made on something, he won't change his mind. if it's set, it's set. he won't be changing it no matter what anyone says or does. when people try to force him to do something he doesn't want to do over and over again, he gets quite angry. but, let's face it, he's angry more often than not. palmer has a very temperamental sort of personality and it's very easy for his mood to turn sour. in the spotlight, however, his mood is anything but. gone is mr. temperamental, replaced by mr. arrogant. the fame has absolutely gotten to his head -- his ego is the size of manhattan, he thinks he's hot shit and he considers himself to be the best person on the face of the earth.​

[div class=tag]strengths.[/div]

singing (this boy can belt) dancing, writing lyrics, producing songs his dedication to his career, rapping, making people laugh, wooing people, his overall charm​

[div class=tag]weaknesses.[/div]

moods wings, how fussy he is in general, thinking he is the best ever (though he doesn't see this as a weakness), stubbornness, arrogance, refusing to change his mind/opinions, his overlarge ego​

[div class=tag]ambitions.[/div]

to become the number one artist worldwide, improve his dancing and rapping, to produce for more people and not just himself, travel the world, to be able to eat a dozen donuts in under 5 minutes​

[div class=tag]fears.[/div]

falling in love (like he really fears this), having someone love him in return (thinks he's unworthy), his fame disappearing/not being famous anymore, losing his voice, breaking a bone, clowns, spiders​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]history.[/div]

jeong kihyun was born in suwon, of the gyeonggi-do province of south korea, to parents jeong minjun and jeong nari. when kihyun was about 1.5 years old, minjun's work relocated him to a different office, one in new zealand. so, the family packed up and moved to tauranga, new zealand, a beachfront city in the north island of new zealand, southeast of auckland.​

​

kihyun, now known as palmer to his classmates and everyone else, attended a local primary school in the city. since the family had moved to new zealand when he was so young, he still couldn't speak. so, growing up in and going to school in new zealand, english became his primary language. korean was still spoken at home, and he knew enough to get by/be mostly fluent in it, but english was his main language.​

​

growing up in tauranga turned out to be very fun. everyday after school, palmer and his friends would stop by a little convenience store and then head to the beach. if it was really warm out, they would swim or surf. if it was mild, they'd goof off or just sit around and talk. for some reason, he decided he was going to attend an audition to become a trainee for one of the top k-pop agencies in south korea on his 16th birthday. so, he flew to los angeles, auditioned, and somehow, he made it through.​

​

after many talks with his parents, palmer moved back to south korea and became a trainee at this company. at 17, shortly after beginning idol training, an agent approached him with a modeling offer, however, palmer turned it down in order to pursue k-pop. a year after that, when he was 18, LGND debuted. the group consisted of jeongho (leader, lead rapper, vocalist), dayeon (lead vocals, visual), hajun "hero" (main rapper, sub vocals), yeonggi "gg" (main dancer, lead vocalist), palmer (main vocalist, lead dancer, sub rapper) and junseo (main dancer, lead rapper, maknae). it took a little while, but eventually the group reached international fame and began a world tour.​

​

though LGND started small, they soon shot to stardom and quickly became one of the most well-known kpop groups internationally. the group of 6 were constantly doing world tours, traveling the world for promotions, etc, and were recognized nearly everywhere they went. then, shortly after his 21st, a high ranking member of the label LGND was signed to pulled palmer aside and told him he had the looks and enough fame to actually make it as a model. this time, instead of saying no, he actually agreed to becoming one and started a modeling career on the side. he didn't let this take away from his time with LGND, however.​

​

perhaps it was LGNDs sudden rise to international fame, or his success as a model, but over the past two years, palmer's ego became sky-high and the whole holier-than-thou persona that he currently possesses began. these past two years also marked the start of his dating issues. the first girl he dated broke his heart, and then the guy that followed did as well. after the third messy break up, palmer swore off of dating and began the one night stands and 1-2 week "relationships" he's known for now.​

[div class=tag]family and/or significant others.[/div]

jeong minjun - father. jeong nari - mother. jeongho, dayeon, hero, gg & junseo - members of LGND and his best friends/brothers.​

[div class=tag]enneagram type.[/div]

type 3 - the achiever​

[div class=tag]mbti type.[/div]

istp​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]what brings you to sanguine island?[/div]

"literally just my therapist. if he hadn't practically forced me to come, no way in hell would i be here."​

[div class=tag]how long have you attended therapy?[/div]

"uhh.... i think this is my second month? maybe fourth? no idea. honestly, i haven't bothered to keep track."​

[div class=tag] what is the problem from your viewpoint?[/div]

"according to our label, i mean, the label LGND is under, i'm too much of a "harlot", whatever the fuck that means. yeah, i like spending time with different people in the bedroom. so what. who doesn't like that? why does it matter if i don't want to date anyone? dating and relationships will only bring me pain in the end. i've heard it all before, the whole 'i promise im not like the others' speech. well, i hope they realize they're exactly like the others. they still managed to hurt me in the end, just like the others did. maybe it's me. maybe there's something about me that just screams unlovable. i don't know. either way, doesn't matter. i promised myself that i wouldn't date again and i intend to keep that promise."​

[div class=tag]how does this problem typically make you feel?[/div]

"um... in the wise words of suga-sunbaenim, 'i don't give a shit, i don't give a fuck.' so, i really don't care and don't really see it as a problem. it's just the label that does. i see it as an added bonus to my career. people are tripping over themselves to be with me for a night, i let them, we have a great time, and then they leave. it's no strings attached, we never see each other again if we don't want to. there's no risk of me falling in love, no risk of them not loving me back, no getting hurt in the end. it's a win win from my point of view. "but, as for the whole unlovable thing, well... thinking that there's something wrong with you and that's why you're so unlovable isn't a very warm and fuzzy feeling, is it? so it makes me feel pretty shitty. hope that answered your question."​

[div class=tag] if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?[/div]

"bet. change one would be to become the number one artist across the globe. change two would be to get over my fear of falling in love. slowly. change three would be for someone to actually love me back. and change four.... yeah i don't have a fourth. just those three."​

[div class=tag]what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?[/div]

"i guess...to get over my fear of falling in love, and to get over the fear i have of thinking no one could ever love me back."​

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coded by constellation. (she gifted it to me isn't it beautiful)

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[izayoiix]

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[div class=container][div class=border][div class=charactername]michelle

[div class=icon][/div] [div class=role]the conflicted[/div] [div class=sideword]conflicted[/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents1"][div class=textbox][div class=scroll][div class=tag]full name.[/div]

michelle aria lynn​

[div class=tag]nicknames.[/div]

ellie, elle, little ellie​

[div class=tag]age.[/div]

twenty-three​

[div class=tag]birthdate.[/div]

march twenty-seventh​

[div class=tag]gender[/div]

female​

[div class=tag]sexuality.[/div]

heterosexual​

[div class=tag]place of birth.[/div]

baton rogue, louisiana​

[div class=tag]occupation.[/div]

manager of an animal shelter​

[div class=tag]role.[/div]

the conflicted​

[/div][/div] [div class=column][div class=images style="background: var(--image-2); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=images style="background: var(--image-3); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=images style="background: var(--image-4); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents2"][div class=textbox][div class=scroll][div class=tag]eyes.[/div]

dark brown​

[div class=tag]hair.[/div]

brunette, but often bleaches it blonde​

[div class=tag]height.[/div]

five foot seven inches​

[div class=tag]body build.[/div]

slim but fit and healthy​

[div class=tag]distinguishing marks.[/div]

clusters of freckles across her nose that can be seen when in the sun​

[div class=tag]body modifications.[/div]

double ear piercing in right ear, infinity symbol with a paw print tattoo on inside of left wrist​

[div class=tag]physical ailments.[/div]

she has old, faded scratches and bite marks scattered across most of her body from scared and aggressive animals, but currently she's only suffering pain from one recent bite mark on her right side. the stitches itch and she constantly has to stop herself from scratching at them.​

[div class=tag]face claim.[/div]

lily james​

[/div][/div] [div class=column][div class=images style="background: var(--image-5); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=images style="background: var(--image-6); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=images style="background: var(--image-7); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents3"][div class=textbox][div class=scroll][div class=tag]positive traits.[/div]

✿ innocent michelle isn't too up to date on popular trends and what's going around on social media. she easily gets lost in conversations about such things, leading to her being labelled as 'the baby' of her friend group, even though she's one of the oldest. due to her lack of social media presence other than when she's promoting the animal shelter, she misses a lot of innuendos and jokes that her friends make when they try to make her blush by saying something perverted. she wasn't ever exposed to such jokes beforehand, having been somewhat sheltered by her parents at a young age, and never got too into looking for them now at an older age. ✿ sweet part of what drew her friend's to her is that she always had a smile for them. michelle was always the girl people went to when they wanted advice because even if she didn't have experience in what they were going through, she was honest and kind, giving them her honest opinion on what she thought could help the situation. upfront, michelle would tell them if she didn't have any experience but if they still asked for her opinion, she'd give them a cookie, bring out one of her dogs, and just sit and talk. for hours if need be. in general, she tried not to judge people and have faith in them, giving them the benefit of the doubt. ✿ loyal much like her canine companions, michelle is an extremely loyal and protective being. once she makes a friend, they're friends for life unless the other person is the one to leave. when she stands by someone, she's there, day or night, rain or shine. she's supportive and kind, even if she's just there to be a shoulder to cry on. she may question someone's decisions or ask for clarification about why they're doing something, but even on the chance she doesn't agree with what they're doing, she's in their corner, because that's what friends do. they support each other and it would break her own heart if she let someone she cared about down. ✿ positive even when she's sad and on the brink of crying, she does her best to keep a smile. when something goes wrong, who do her friends turn to? michelle, of course. michelle who always has a smile for them and a way to think about the situation in a different light. she's full of smiles and kind words, and well, her baked goods don't hurt either. she doesn't like to see people sad, so she decided to make sure to be there to cheer someone up if they're down. ✿ easy-going michelle doesn't mind going with the flow. she's used to having to change her plans for the day due to her work with animals and their needs, so she's used to having to making sudden plans or even having to cancel them. if someone suggests getting together, she's all for it. she enjoys making plans as she goes, but she's just as fine with planning a whole day out ahead of time. anything goes for her as long as everyone is having a good time. that's all that really matters to her.​

[div class=tag]negative traits.[/div]

✿ anxious despite her attempts to remain positive, a lot of what she shows others is actually fake. michelle is deep down and extremely anxious person. she doesn't want to bother anyone when she asks them for a favor or even just to spend time with her. the thought of asking someone, especially someone she doesn't know, is nerve-wracking to her, and she easily works herself into a ball of nerves, leading to her backing down from actually talking to someone new. it's why she only has a few real friends, because talking to new people unsettles her and she hates to cause problems or even be potentially rejected because she intruded where she wasn't wanted. ✿ quiet despite her brightness and willingness to be there for her friends and help them through anything, michelle is actually a very quiet person. she can come off as loud when with her friends, but once the excitement has faded from seeing them, she easily fades to the background. as a fairly introverted person, michelle often finds it easier to let her friends take control of whatever activity they do, glad to just be included. she doesn't need to be in control of everything, just have it be known that she's around. due to this, she often gets overlooked when her friends are deciding on things such as where to eat, where to go, what movie to see, etc. sometimes it bothers her, when she was particular interested in something, but she doesn't let it bother her too much. ✿ self-sacrificing even when she's beaten down and ready to break after a long day, if someone calls, michelle is at their beck and call. not in a really bad way, just that she puts others before herself. she always has. it's all she knows. she can be in the middle of crying but if someone needs something, then she's shoving down her own feelings and putting on a brave face so she can go and help someone else. she gives up what she wants to do herself when in the presence of a majority because it's easier than fighting for something so small, when everyone would rather do something else. she regularly gives up something that would make her happy to appease others and she doesn't even realize that she's doing it. ✿ insecure seeing as she's not always on top of the current trends going on, a lot of michelle's interests don't line up with her friends. they'd rather go out and party? michelle would rather have a nice dinner with friends and then go home and read a book. because of this, she's hesitant to share her ideas with friends because she doesn't want to be shot down with no one having liked her idea. she doesn't like being ignored and feeling left out, so if she doesn't share her idea, no one will leave her behind if they'd rather do something else. she goes along with someone else's plan because it's safer than being insulted or made fun of for her own. she knows she isn't the most popular person and would hate to lose her friends over something as silly as not wanting to go out. ✿ naive many see michelle's kind nature and her willingness to help and often end up taking advantage of her. she doesn't even realize it's happening. some of her friends have seen it, especially when it comes to her exes, but michelle herself doesn't see it. some of her friends even take advantage of her kindness at times, not that they mean too, but she makes it kind of easy. whenever someone has asked her for anything, she's always replied yes and it created a pattern in all of her relationships. not everyone means to take advantage of the fact that she doesn't recognize that she's being used, but she refuses to believe that that's whats happening and tells everyone to leave it alone. she likes helping people and she leaves it at that.​

[div class=tag]strengths.[/div]

she's great with animals, an amazing baker, in good physical health due to running after animals all day​

[div class=tag]weaknesses.[/div]

not so good with people, showing her real emotions, can't cook to save her life​

[div class=tag]fears.[/div]

losing her shelter, failing her friends, saying the word love to someone​

[div class=tag]ambitions.[/div]

make her shelter into a known and successful operation to provide care for every animal she can, see or have worked with most every dog breed known, find a house large enough for fifteen dogs and five cats (her dream amount) and any other animals she can fall in love with.​

[/div][/div] [div class=column][div class=images style="background: var(--image-8); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=images style="background: var(--image-9); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=images style="background: var(--image-10); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents4"][div class=textbox][div class=scroll][div class=tag]relationships.[/div]

✿ rachel lynn [ mother ] ; known her whole life ✿ louis richards [ father ] ; known her whole life ✿ august thompson [ ex-boyfriend ] ; known from age 18 - 20 ✿ ethan adams [ ex-boyfriend ] ; known from 21 - 22/23​

[div class=tag]the backstory.[/div]

michelle was born to two individuals who loved her very much. and while somehow she recognized their familial love for her, she never saw love in her home. she lived permanently with her mother during the year and stayed with her father every other weekend and certain holidays, spending weeks at a time with him over the summer as well. her parents had gotten pregnant with her while they were dating and while they tried to make the relationship work, they realized early on that they weren't right for each other. so they broke up before she was even born. in short, she has a good family, they love her and get along well with each other and cared for each other, but they didn't love each other. not like a man and a woman should when they're together. growing up, michelle had a wonderful life. her parents weren't the wealthiest, but they gave her everything she asked for if they could. she was well taken care of and while she did secretly wish at times that she had a family like the other kids at school with their moms and dads in the same house, she took pride in the fact that she basically celebrated some holidays, like christmas, twice. she didn't think too much on how she was different from the other kids, instead focusing on the benefits of her situation. overall her life wasn't anything special. she grew older going back and forth between her parents, both sides of her family fostering her love of animals. by the time she entered high school, she'd already started volunteering at an animal shelter during the summer with her mother. she loved it, it was the best part of her summer, it kept her occupied and gave her all the time to spend surrounded by animals. animals who were way better than people. sure she had some friends at school, but there were times where she just...didn't connect with them. they got along well, their more outgoing personalities forging their friendships, but they didn't always have the same interests. which was normal, but at the same time, it left her feeling lonely. all the things that really made michelle, michelle weren't things she could share with her friends because they weren't into it as well. her loneliness didn't get any better as she continued through high school. while her friends went on to start dating and make plans with their new partners as they prepared to go on to the next level of schooling, michelle just...remained the same. she was so happy for her friends, that they were finding love and happiness and enjoying their social lives, but she desperately wished she could have something like that for herself. despite the fact that her friends were supportive of her, michelle never had a boyfriend or was even kissed while in school. she'd never even had a crush on one of her classmates. something just never clicked. she wanted to experience the feeling that her friends gushed about. but at the same time, it confused her. what did a crush feel like? when her friends talked about how they loved their partners, what did they mean? what were they feeling? she didn't understand. by the time she started her first year of college, michelle was still clueless. she was alone in her chosen school, so now she had the added struggle of trying to make friends. she passed through the first few months in a bit of a daze. she was able to make some acquaintances at least, and she got along with most everyone she met. it became fairly obvious to her that she wasn't really meant for college as she continued to just float by in her classes. they were interesting but not really captivating her, not to mention she wasn't really sure what to make of her life for a career. the only thing she was passionate about was animals. it was during this time of reflection that she met august thompson. when she first bumped into him on her way to class, she'd been extremely flustered, and all she could do was apologize. he just laughed her off and told her it was no big deal. he'd told her if she wanted to make it up to him, she could let him take her out for coffee after class. even more flustered, she stuttered out an agreement and scribbled down her phone number and gave it to him before running to class. their relationship sped by from there. they got along extremely well and they had a lot of things in common. michelle wasn't sure what she was feeling exactly, but she was happy. she wasn't alone anymore and she'd finally found something she could do with her life. in the year they'd been together, michelle at nineteen, had finally decided she was going to run her own animal shelter. august supported her and everything was looking bright. by the time she was almost twenty, things started to go downhill. her and august had been together for almost two years and when he told her he loved her, michelle was suddenly back to her high school days, feeling lost and confused. she told him she loved him too, but she didn't understand. what did that mean? he loved her? did she love him? she liked spending time with him and oftentimes he reassured her that she wasn't being a bother when she asked him to spend time with her every few days, but once the bomb was dropped, everything started going downhill from there. michelle didn't know what love was, so how could she understand that someone could love her? she became much more anxious in her interactions with august and questioned his every action and meaning behind his words. it didn't take more than another three months for their relationship to end. she was twenty when after a giant argument broke out between the two - although it was more august shouting at her - that he broke up with her. michelle was devastated. clearly something was wrong with her. it was no wonder that he'd left her, it was her fault. it had to be. she retreated home and to her animals, only finding comfort with the furry creatures that would never abandon her. she didn't understand, how could she see and understand the love her beloved animal companions had for her, and she for them, but not when another human being loved her? it took a few days, but she forced herself to go back outside and reassure her friends that she was fine. she was hurt, but she was fine and she would get better as more time passed. so she focused on working with the shelter that she'd volunteered at as a kid, volunteering again every day and working with the administration until they hired her on as a paid employee. by the time she was twenty-one, things were starting to look up. sure she still felt small twinges of jealousy at times when her friends would announce their super sweet and intimate couple milestones, but she was genuinely happy for them. she always wanted the best for her friends. but overall, she was better, just like she said she would be, and she would only keep getting better. not long later when she was working a shift at the shelter, michelle found herself helping a young man look at the dogs they had available for adoption when they hit it off. he ended up adopting one of her favorite dogs available and he asked her out for lunch one day soon so she could help go over everything he'd need to take care of the dog. she agreed without hesitation, not really noticing that he'd just asked her on a date. when she later told her friends about her upcoming plans, they laughed, teasing her about the fact that she'd agreed to go on a date with him. she blushed and told them to leave her alone, starting to feel excited at the idea. ethan adams was something special in michelle's eyes. he seemed like the absolute perfect guy and it didn't seem strange that they connected as fast as they did, their relationship moving exceptionally fast. it worried some of her friends and her parents at how quickly they got together and she ended up moving in with him by the time she was twenty-two, but she didn't pay their worries any mind. their relationship was going great. there was nothing to worry about. when ethan told her that he loved her, michelle had thought that things would be different. she was better now this time, she'd had experience in a relationship now, so she wouldn't be able to make the same mistakes again. unfortunately, she immediately fell down the same spiral as before. she'd told him she loved him too, but despite the fact that she tried to ignore it, that little voice still whispered in her ear that she couldn't really love him because she didn't know what love was. and how could he love her if she couldn't love him? did she really love him? did he really love her? without even realizing it the pattern had started again. by the time she had realized, she tried to stop it but, she couldn't help asking ethan if he loved her. why did he love her? at first he thought it was cute, but then it quickly became repetitive. he was beginning to feel like he was justifying himself as if she was unintentionally trying to accuse him of something, and it made him angry. he began to lash out at her and she would just stand there and take it, beginning to feel like she deserved it. there was something wrong with her. it didn't take long for their relationship to end as well. they struggled along weakly, things only getting worse by the minute. what truly broke them though was the day when she came back from work and found another woman hurrying to leave their apartment. she watched horrified, as the woman hopped in place as she worked to put her shoe back on as she closed the door behind her. she didn't know how long she stood there after the woman left, but by the time she managed to make herself enter her home, she was crying. she walked in to find ethan laying naked on their bed that was covered in sweat and fluids, proof of his traitorous activities. he heard the door slam shut behind her and he opened his eyes to see her standing there and all he did was groan before throwing an arm over his eyes. michelle immediately began to yell at him, and he yelled in return, eventually standing so they were then face to face. she doesn't remember all of what was said, but she knew it ended when he slapped her. so surprised by the force he'd used, she fell, the momentum causing her to stumble and trip, slamming her head on the floor. ethan scoffed and walked over her, not bothering to go around her as she laid there shocked. she couldn't even flinch when she felt his foot slam into her stomach as he stepped over her and left the room. she laid there for a long while, not seeing ethan as he'd later come back in and got dressed and then left the house. she didn't really move until a friend she'd been supposed to meet later came knocking on the door when she never showed up and didn't answer her phone. they entered the room and rushed to her side at the sight of her, calling her mother and hurrying her out of the building and to her mother's home. everything happened in such a blur. she never saw ethan again, and other than the text from him telling her to lose his number because he didn't want his girlfriend to see a text from her and get the wrong idea about them, she never heard from him again either. her friends had banded together and stormed the apartment and gathered all her belongings and even took the dog with them, knowing he loved michelle and that michelle loved him. she started to cry at the sight of him, but it didn't take long for her to stop as she spent days just laying in her room, petting her beloved pets. it was obvious to her that she clearly wasn't meant to be loved. it was after two weeks of this when he mother finally forced her out of her room and got her to sit and talk. the second the woman heard the words 'it was my fault' she knew her daughter was truly struggling. immediately, the older woman got in contact with her father and he agreed that maybe they should try and get her into therapy to see if that would help her. michelle didn't really want to go to therapy when it was suggested to her, but she didn't want to hurt her mother by seeing her suffer, so she agreed to go. now at twenty-three she's been in therapy for a little while now when she's not at work and still going, even though they seem to have hit a roadblock.​

[/div][/div] [div class=column][div class=images style="background: var(--image-11); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=images style="background: var(--image-12); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=images style="background: var(--image-13); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents5"][div class=textbox][div class=scroll][div class=tag]what brings you to sanguine island?[/div]

"Oh, well, my therapist recommended that coming here would help me with my, um...problems."​

[div class=tag]how long have you attended therapy?[/div]

"Well, not very long. My mother suggested I give it a try after um, my last...relationship. I uh, I think it's maybe been a few months?"​

[div class=tag]what is the problem from your viewpoint?[/div]

"Well, at first I just thought something was wrong with me, but my therapist explained that I can't find love with someone else because I don't love myself. I don't really know what that means though, so maybe it's why they suggested I come here."​

[div class=tag]how does this problem typically make you feel?[/div]

"I'm not really sure? Sad, I guess. The idea of not being able to love myself makes me sad, but I don't really understand it, so I don't actually feel sad for myself. Does that make sense? I'd like to get better, but it doesn't seem like the type of problem that can actually be fixed. To me it seems like me, the person, is at fault, not like I'm actively doing something that I should change, behavior-wise. Honestly, sometimes I don't even feel anything at all. Sorry, I was rambling, I hope I still made sense. I can try to explain more if I confused you..."​

[div class=tag]if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?[/div]

"Um...Honestly I'm not too sure. There's the obvious, to just fix the problem I'm currently here for, but I guess I'd love to keep moving up the ladder at the shelter I work at. I'm currently one of the managers, but I'd like to keep going up so one day I could run the whole operation. I'm not really sure what else though..."​

[div class=tag]what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?[/div]

"To love myself, I guess. Apparently I need to do that before I can hope to love someone else. Whenever my friends talk about moving forward in their relationships, I feel kinda jealous I guess, because I want something like what they have. So I guess to get to one goal, I have overcome this."​

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coded by constellation.

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[div class=roleline style="left: 67px;"][/div] [div class=roleline style="left: 132px;"][/div] [div class=role style="top: 30px; left: 50px;"]fiona[/div] [div class=role style="top: 65px; left: 115px;"]hernandez[/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents2"][div class=scroll]

BASICS & APPEARANCE.

[div class=tag]name[/div] fiona sarita hernandez garcia. [div class=tag]nickname[/div] some close family call her by her middle name. [div class=tag]age[/div] twenty-five. [div class=tag]date of birth[/div] february 20th, 1995. [div class=tag]place of birth[/div] medellín, antioquia, colombia. [div class=tag]gender[/div] cis female. [div class=tag]sexuality[/div] bisexual. [div class=tag]occupation[/div] high school teacher. [div class=tag]role[/div] the conflicted. [div class=tag]height[/div] 5'7". [div class=tag]hair color[/div] dark brown hair with some toffee highlights. [div class=tag]eye color[/div] dark brown. [div class=tag]body build[/div] slim, a bit underweight. [div class=tag]distinguishing features[/div] a couple of beauty marks on her face; some scars on her body, notably two round grisly cigarette burns on the back of her hand. [div class=tag]body mods[/div] double pierced ears. one small tattoo of a quill and parchment on her ankle. [div class=tag]physical ailments[/div] carpal tunnel; she gets frequent pains in her hand from writing and constant work. [div class=tag]face claim[/div] adria arjona. [/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents3"][div class=scroll]

PERSONA.

[div class=tag]positives[/div] ↳ intelligent: fiona is a bright, well-read individual, putting herself through college and earning her teaching qualification from quite a young age. english literature and philosophy are her favorite subjects to teach and discuss. ↳ patient: being a high school teacher means having patience, and fiona has quite of bit of that most of the time -- when it comes to other people. with herself, however, is another matter. ↳ kind: it's no secret that fiona wears her heart on her sleeve. she's a big softie, sweet and kind to anybody she meets. she'd give you the shirt off her back if necessary. ↳ opinionated: while others might consider it a negative trait, fiona prides herself on being opinionated. at least, she used to be, and that well articulated, strong-headed woman is likely still there underneath the surface. ↳ compassionate: fiona is the type of friend you can tell any issue to, and she will offer the most sincere and helpful advice she can. even if her life's in ruins, she's a loyal and compassionate friend who's there when you need a shoulder to cry on. [div class=tag]negatives[/div] ↳ dependent: in the past, throughout her few relationships, fiona has always felt so reliant on others to validate her feelings and worries. there were also moments, especially in her last relationship, where she was pushed to be dependent on someone, and she didn't have the strength to pull herself away. ↳ anxious: fiona is always worrying, always second guessing herself, and always feels watched and scrutinized by those around her. she can walk into a room full of people and suddenly become nervous, with thoughts of oh god, what am i wearing? am i walking oddly? can they tell i didn't wash my hair? ↳ people pleaser: a newer trait of hers is that fiona will do whatever she can to make others happy, even if that means letting people walk all over her. she's easily taken advantage of. ↳ antisocial: outside of an academic or teaching environment, fiona has little to no social life lately. she finds it rather hard to make and keep friends, or even have any real connections with people. ↳ defeated: fiona has become quite the pessimist as of late. her mood is always low, and while therapy has begun to help her out of this rut, she's been depressed due to her former relationship. [div class=tag]strengths[/div] she's a pretty damn good teacher; well-read and educated about english literature and some philosophy; sharp as a whip; observant; speaks english and spanish fluently, knows conversational french; surprisingly good at sewing and modifying clothing. [div class=tag]weaknesses[/div] confrontation; constantly doubting herself and others; trust issues; bad communication skills; easily intimidated; dislikes physical touches. [div class=tag]fears[/div] disappointing her family and loved ones; car accidents; most bugs; natural disasters. [div class=tag]ambitions[/div] continuing teaching english literature, and eventually becoming a college professor. also dreams of publishing her own novels. [/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents4"][div class=scroll]

HISTORY & INTERVIEW.

[div class=tag]history[/div] born in the slums of medellín, fiona was the baby of the family. her parents, ricardo and sarita, hadn't been prepared for another child. they already had two boys only a year apart in age, and their two bedroom tin-roofed home was cramped enough as it was. but fiona was welcomed happily, even if her parents had to work extra hard to keep food on the table. fiona's early years in life were humble and happy; even if her family wasn't the richest, or had the nicest things, she was a witty and smart kid from the very start, and she always made her parents proud. warm days were spent sitting on the stoop of her father's cornerstore. she'd eat popsicles as paolo and santino played soccer in the street, or sit behind the counter sneaking snacks. ricardo was proud of his little shop, providing refreshing shaved ices, cold sodas, and snacks for all of the kids after school. her mother was much more stressed, though. she was a nurse, working in the local hospital, and witnessed firsthand the victims of the violence that always seemed to permeate the streets of medellín. by the time fiona was nine years old, they decided to move to the united states. her brothers were upset by the idea, but her parents wouldn't budge. they packed up all of their belongings, stuffed their bags with everything they could carry, and moved to los angeles, california. it was easier for her mother to find work, given her medical expertise. her father, on the other hand, struggled through laborious jobs in gardening, construction, any job that didn't requite citizenship. life in the states was a bit safer, a bit more secure, but their new hardships were different tasks to overcome. since fiona was so young, learning english was much easier for the young girl. but her brothers were already thirteen and fourteen. and so, once again, they'd find themselves sitting on the stoop of cornerstores, eating cold ice creams to combat the heat, as fiona would practice homework with them to help improve their english. and she did the same for her father. fiona was always a 'daddy's girl', he was much more engaged with his children than her mother. sure, fiona loved her mother, but as the girl got older and older, her mother was her biggest critic and always stressed. if she wasn't nitpicking fiona's appearance, she'd find reasons to be angry about her grades and schoolwork, or the state of the house when she'd arrive home from work. these moments were the beginning of fiona's life long problems with self-doubt. by the time she finished middle school, her family was in a much more stable situation. her mother didn't have to work such long hours, and her father went from working awful labor jobs in construction, to managing construction sites and working for corporate. santino graduated high school, headed off to a california university to pursue a degree in architecture, and paolo soon followed quickly, heading off to trade school for electrical engineering. fiona had found her true passion since arriving to the states; reading. as her english improved, she devoured books with ferocity, wrote short fictional stories when she should have been doing homework, and would sit in the library for hours enjoying the variety of stories. high school came and went, and fiona graduated at seventeen years old as the valedictorian of her class, had completed the credits necessary for her first semester, and was ready to pursue a degree in education. university was a wildly different experience than she expected, even after attending orientation, hearing the stories from her brothers, and even from other high school friends who graduated before her. fiona was truly on her own for the first time. with the help of the various scholarships and financial aids she had applied for (thank youuu, scholarships for hispanic students), for the most part, her future was finally beginning. and then, she met a guy. a cool guy, a smart, funny, down to earth guy who was all shy smiles and smart conversations and as gentlemanly as can be. elijah williamson was a senior, four years older than her, and seemingly out of her league, but they had met in the cafe a couple minutes away from campus, and fiona was smitten. it was too perfect, but she didn't care. before she knew it, one coffee date turned into meeting for coffee every week, to going out for dinner dates, to her moving in with him by the beginning of next semester. fiona was naive, and oh so in love. (tw: mentions of emotional and physical abuse, isolation, and suicidal ideation.) her relationship with elijah was much different than any of her other parners. none of her other relationships had lasted longer than four months (which was forever for a high school relationship), and so she hadn't been sure of what to expect. when they started dating, he was smart, kind, and thoughtful. he would remember small details she'd mention in conversation, her favorite coffee orders, and yeah, the sex was pretty great. fiona felt like she could rely on him for everything, and if he got a bit possessive or jealous at first, she didn't mind. moving in together so early was a stupid idea. fiona juggled classes and a part-time job as elijah's career in biochemistry was taking off. if he wasn't working in labs or on campus for studies, he was out with friends, slowly spending less and less time at home. fiona didn't mind at first. they were grown adults who needed their own space, and she respected that. he even convinced her to quit her part-time, telling her that he'd take care of her. and so she did, focusing even more on her career. but as fiona continued university, began her student teaching programs, he turned into a person she couldn't recognize anymore. he'd get severely jealous, constantly ask her where she was if she was home even twenty minutes late, accusing her of cheating with classmates or coworkers. fiona's self doubt bubbled up as their relationship soured. she believed his anger and stress was her fault. she wasn't a good enough girlfriend, wasn't smart enough, didn't make him happy enough. by the time fiona earned her degree, she had a job secured as a high school teacher for english literature. things with elijah had settled a bit - by now, their relationship was three years strong, with so many ups and downs it'd leave her head spinning. but she foolishly loved him, even if elijah drank too much or lost his temper sometimes. that year was fiona's breaking point. almost halfway through the school year, elijah lost his job, and took it out on fiona. if he didn't shout until the windows of their apartment shook, he'd drown his sorrows in beer bottles and other women. he hit her when he was angry and frustrated, hating the fact that she was becoming successful. her students noticed the difference in mood as the school year progressed, and it wasn't until elijah nearly strangled her to death that somebody noticed that fiona was not okay. a fellow teacher, a kinder older woman with smile lines and silver hair, was who fiona considered her savior. her name was clementine marks, and she let fiona move in with her to get away from elijah. by this point, she had basically been cut off from her family. living with elijah was a world of isolation - there was school, and then home. he controlled her life up until the moment she decided to leave. when elijah wasn't home, fiona and clementine gathered up her things and left. fiona felt aimless during her first month's living with clementine. she didn't want to exist. her bed was a coffin, fiona thought she could lay there for eternity, and cease to exist. despite everybody's protests, she still felt as if she had done something wrong, and the entire situation was her fault. why did she have to anger him like that? why didn't she understand he was frustrated with life? why couldn't she be better? a better daughter, a better person, a better girlfriend? everything that she had been as a person felt drained from her, like she was a shell, with little motivation for really anything. reconnecting with her family helped quite a bit -- it took plenty of convincing to make sure her brothers wouldn't go and jump him, but the thought was certainly tempting. soon, fiona began attending therapy, and the opportunity for sanguine island arose. she took it. [div class=tag]relationships[/div] → ricardo edgar hernandez rincon. fiona's father, who was and always has been her biggest supporter. despite the couple of years she spent isolated with elijah, they've reconnected and are closer than ever. → sarita felicita perez garcia. fiona's mother. while fiona never had a particularly good relationship with her mother, they are closer now after she found out what was happening. both of her parents have been the ones helping her go to therapy. → paolo hernandez. fiona's older brother. he's one of the smartest people she's met, and while he's now married and well into his career as an electrician, he still cares deeply for his little sister. she sometimes stays with him, but his wife delilah is pregnant, and fiona hates to impose. → santino hernandez. fiona's oldest brother. santino is considered the "pride and joy" of the hernandez family, as his career as an architect took off like fireworks. he's begun working on bigger and bigger projects around california, and even los angeles itself. he's married to his husband, adopted two children. but he's also still protective of fiona, and has been helping pay for her therapy sessions and trip to sanguine island. → elijah williamson. fiona's ex-boyfriend. if it weren't for her family and friends, fiona felt as if she'd go running back to him. she hates him and everything he did for her, but for a long time, a life with elijah was all she knew. [div class=tag]what brings you to sanguine island?[/div] "i need to move forward in my life, you know? everybody always says 'i want to go back to how i used to be,' but for me, that is not true. i'm beginning to realize that new things to come can be positive, and i cannot wait to realize the real, new me. i'm tired of being scared." [div class=tag]how long have you attended therapy?[/div] "for about six months now. i attended some therapy sessions in high school, but took a big gap from that because it was so expensive out of pocket, and i was busy with school." [div class=tag]what is the problem from your viewpoint?[/div] "my anxiety and doubts, i would say. my self confidence fell apart, i was so dependent and so afraid of everything. there were days i could sit and make myself dizzy from self doubts, from worrying about my partner, from doubting my talents and skills. and there were other days i could not leave the house out of fear. i...i'm so weak." [div class=tag]how does this problem typically make you feel?[/div] "like i said, so weak, so helpless. i hated myself for it, and i still do if i'm being honest. who would want to love someone worrying themselves sick?" [div class=tag]if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?[/div] "that is a...hard question. too much to choose from. i guess i would want my confidence back, my boldness. not needing the validation of others, not looking for answers in other people." [div class=tag]what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?[/div] "i feel like...i am looking at myself through a window. and i can see my flaws and weaknesses, the things that i'm doing wrong, but i cannot reach myself and change those things. with therapy, it feels like i can open that window now, and begin to work on change. even if it's little by little." 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coded by constellation.

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[aurnia]

[class=variables] cursor: url('http://i.imgur.com/ZOrzC.png'), auto !important; --color: #141414; [/class] [class=container] width: 350px; display: flex; margin: auto; flex-direction: column; justify-content: flex-start; [/class] [class=name] font-size: 40px; font-weight: 900; line-height: 0.7; color: var(--color); [/class] [class=tabsContainer] width: 350px; display: flex; justify-content: space-evenly; align-items: center; flex-wrap: wrap; [/class] [class=title] font-size: 20px; border: 1px solid var(--color); padding: 3px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1; letter-spacing: 2px; transition: 1s; [/class] [class name=title state=hover] cursor: url('https://i.imgur.com/8akxkMH.png'), auto !important; background-color: var(--color); color: white; [/class] [class=bigGap] flex-grow: 3; [/class] [class=gap] flex-grow: 2; [/class] [class=tab] text-shadow: -1px -1px 0 var(--color), 1px -1px 0 var(--color), -1px 1px 0 var(--color), 1px 1px 0 var(--color); font-size: 30px; color: white; transition: 1s; flex-basis: auto; [/class] [class name=tab state=hover] cursor: url('https://i.imgur.com/8akxkMH.png'), auto !important; color: var(--color); [/class] [class=contentContainer] height: 350px; width: 350px; position: relative; [/class] [class=content] height: 350px; width: 350px; opacity: 0; position: absolute; transition: 1s; padding: 10px; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 12px; overflow: hidden; [/class] [class=scroll] overflow-y: scroll; padding-right: 40px; width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=bigImg] height: 330px; width: 330px; background-image: url('https://data.whicdn.com/images/180614795/original.jpg'); background-position: 40% 30%; background-size: 600px 699px; [/class] [class=tag] width: auto; height: 16px; padding: 0px 2px 0px 2px; display: inline-block; border: 1px solid var(--color); font-size: 10px; text-transform: uppercase; [/class] [class=imgSmallContainer] width: 80%; height: 70px; display: flex; justify-content: space-between; margin: 10px auto; [/class] [class=imgSmall] width: 70px; height: 70px; background-position: 50% 50%; background-size: cover; [/class] [class=show] z-index: 1; opacity: 1; [/class] [class=titleSelected] background-color: var(--color); color: white; [/class] [class=selected] color: var(--color); [/class] [script class=title on=click] addClass show contentHome removeClass show content01 removeClass show content02 removeClass show content03 addClass titleSelected title removeClass selected tab01 removeClass selected tab02 removeClass selected tab03 [/script] [script class=tab01 on=click] addClass show content01 removeClass show contentHome removeClass show content02 removeClass show content03 addClass selected tab01 removeClass titleSelected title removeClass selected tab02 removeClass selected tab03 [/script] [script class=tab02 on=click] addClass show content02 removeClass show contentHome removeClass show content01 removeClass show content03 addClass selected tab02 removeClass titleSelected title removeClass selected tab01 removeClass selected tab03 [/script] [script class=tab03 on=click] addClass show content03 removeClass show contentHome removeClass show content01 removeClass show content02 addClass selected tab03 removeClass titleSelected title removeClass selected tab01 removeClass selected tab02 [/script] [div class=variables] [div class=container] [div class=name]Annalise Klatten[/div] [div class=tabsContainer] [div class="title titleSelected"]IDEALIST[/div] [div class=bigGap][/div] [div class="tab tab01"]01.[/div] [div class=gap][/div] [div class="tab tab02"]02.[/div] [div class=gap][/div] [div class="tab tab03"]03.[/div] [/div] [div class=contentContainer] [div class="content contentHome show"] [div class=bigImg][/div] [/div] [div class="content content01"] [div class=scroll] [div class=imgSmallContainer] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://66.media.tumblr.com/f42c7aa3ae5e26dcdc8647b7f0c71756/tumblr_olta9vjfJF1r6u871o3_250.gifv');"][/div] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://66.media.tumblr.com/49a207d5b65ecb59e70cbc858b47be2a/tumblr_olta9vjfJF1r6u871o1_250.gifv');"][/div] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://66.media.tumblr.com/9667050a027b45407deea0534066409b/tumblr_olta9vjfJF1r6u871o4_250.gifv');"][/div] [/div] [div class=tag]name[/div] Berit Annalise Klatten
[div class=tag]nickname[/div] most people call her Anna, and she goes by Annalise outside of family. Her siblings call her Lisa or Lisi.
[div class=tag]age[/div] 25
[div class=tag]d.o.b.[/div] april 7th, 1995
[div class=tag]p.o.b.[/div] hamburg, germany
[div class=tag]nationality[/div] german & american citizenship
[div class=tag]residency[/div] new york city, new york
[div class=tag]gender[/div] female
[div class=tag]sexuality[/div] bisexual
[div class=tag]occupation[/div] heiress, fashion model
[div class=tag]role[/div] the idealist.

[div class=tag]height[/div] 5' 10" (178 cm)
[div class=tag]hair[/div] natural blonde
[div class=tag]eyes[/div] baby blue
[div class=tag]build[/div] mesomorph naturally, but is noticeably lanky, overly thin & tall resembling an ectomorph
[div class=tag]dist. features[/div] expressive eyes, angular facial features, defined cupids bow lips
[div class=tag]body mods[/div] single lobe piercing on each ear
[div class=tag]ailments[/div] eating disorder, anxiety
[div class=tag]style[/div] x x x x x feminine, chic & classic inpsired. always very put together and clean. almost always luxury brands.
[div class=tag]face claim[/div] taylor swift [/div] [/div] [div class="content content02"] [div class=scroll] [div class=imgSmallContainer] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6nUN9Z3lZC0pkCqI/giphy.gif');"][/div] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohjV5GM1Nzmyv08tG/giphy.gif');"][/div] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://66.media.tumblr.com/bf077dbef50b8c54d8cce8026df1e030/tumblr_owpteeF8vE1rdmps0o1_540.gifv');"][/div] [/div] [div class=tag]virtues[/div] creative. anna has always had a great capacity to think beyond boxes. she is artistic and imaginative, and never runs out of ideas to try... even if maybe they aren't always the most realistic in the world. determined. her work ethic has been known to be a bit of an unstoppable force. when she sets her mind to a goal, anna will work her hardest to achieve it and there is little that can get in her way. passionate. anna has strong beliefs and lofty goals that she holds herself to. she is not the type of person to have luke warm types of opinions or actions, she is all or nothing. intelligent. with a penchant for learning and a strength for understanding many things, anna is quite smart. she most often channels this intelligence into her goals and career, and sometimes she can surprise people with her deep knowledge of subjects that apply to her and ones that she is passionate about. kind. anna is a deeply compassionate and warm-hearted individual who prides herself on being likable. she values kindness and friendship before much else, and considers a kind manner essential to being able to truly achieve success.
[div class=tag]vices[/div] perfectionist. everything must be perfect. in anna's mind, everything she does, says, and makes must meet her definition of perfection- or rather, her family's definition of it- or else it isn't good enough. more often than not, nothing feels quite perfect to her, and it drives her to work harder to try and be more perfect. mostly this emphasis on perfection is towards herself, but it can often trickle into how she perceives and interacts with others. arrogant. a vice stemming from her perfectionist nature, anna can tend to be a bit arrogant. if she feels like someone else is acting in opposition of her definition of perfect, she can tend to treat them as lesser because of it without truly recognizing it. she also is quite prideful in the facets of herself that she does see as close to perfect, and this can cause her to be very critical of those things in other people. impatient. anna isn't keen on waiting for things. she craves knowing how she can improve, and know it immediately so she can start working on it. she is also quite used to getting what she wants and quickly, as a member of the "1 percent". this leads to her wanting to receive everything in a timely manner, or else she will drive herself crazy with anxiety over even the smallest of things, or if nothing else she'll drive others crazy with it. insecure. anna needs the validation of others. she is very overly critical of herself and takes it very hard when others point out things about her that aren't 'perfect'. while she can come off as very confident to others outwardly because of her friendly nature, inwardly she is constantly finding things she has done wrong and things that are her imperfections to criticize and try to 'fix'. stubborn. a steadfast work ethic and passionate nature combine to create quite the stubborn person. anna isn't one to go back on things she has said or done easily at all. much of the time she must learn by throwing herself into something and having it either turn out fantastically or critically burn her. melodramatic. stubborn, creative, and a top name in the fashion industry, anna has a penchant for the over dramatic. Her good moments are the best of her life and her bad ones are the end of it. She can tend to get into a panic over some very trivial things because of this and it's very hard for most people to convince her that it isn't really an issue.
[div class=tag]strengths[/div] multilingual, diligent work ethic, polite, friendly, proficient at Aikido, a great performer
[div class=tag]weaknesses[/div] eating disorder, single minded, over dramatic, very stubborn, overly dependent on outside feedback/approval
[div class=tag]likes[/div] cats, floral perfume, languages, oranges/orange flavoring, collecting stationery, luxury fashion, mornings, fine wine, things running smoothly
[div class=tag]dislikes[/div] being told what to do, amusement parks, messiness, cake, canceling plans, her body, flats, greasy food, cheap liquor/alcohol, uncomfortable/cheap fabrics
[div class=tag]fears[/div] never being good enough, claustrophobia, death, heights, hospitals, spiders, gaining weight
[div class=tag]ambitions[/div] make her family proud, learn as many languages as she can, live more fearlessly/adventurously, have less fear especially about food/weight [/div] [/div] [div class="content content03"] [div class=scroll] [div class=imgSmallContainer] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6nUSsrzut3fDTWsU/giphy.gif');"][/div] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://media.giphy.com/media/xT1R9UTsa6aROGqXWU/giphy.gif');"][/div] [div class=imgSmall style="background-image: url('https://media.giphy.com/media/xT1Ra0C5fKCNfs38o8/giphy.gif');"][/div] [/div] [div class=tag]fun facts[/div] Anna speaks German, English, French & Castilian Spanish all somewhat fluently. She is learning Korean & hopes to learn it and Standard Chinese. When Anna speaks English, she doesn't have a very distinct German accent, but since she did learn British English she speaks with a bit of a mishmash of that accent and her german one. She owns a cat named Versace (Sichi for short) who is a scottish fold cat; she is being watched by Anna's sister back in New York.
[div class=tag]history[/div]
-Born to Henry & Tatiana Klatten in Hamburg, Germany
-The eldest of three, with one younger brother and one younger sister: Lukas, 22 and Monika, 21
-The Klatten family is one of the wealthiest in Europe, owning a good part of many successful German companies, making Lisa and her siblings heirs to a large fortune
-From a very young age, Anna's parents made clear to her that the reputation of their family was of the utmost importance, and so she focused on becoming a well respected, well liked face of her family as her mother seemed to be
-Started modeling as a young teenager because of her very conventionally attractive features & important name, about age 14, and her eating disorder began shortly after. She wouldn't be professionally diagnosed with it until she was 24.
-Very successful as a model, showing up mostly on print but also a good amount on runways, especially when she was older- about 19 was when she really started to gain a footing in the fashion industry.
-Spent her entire educational career being privately tutored at home & while traveling with her family and for her modeling career. By her mother's standards, her modeling career was more important.
-Anna has always had a love for learning, so school was never really a struggle for her. The same could not be said for her siblings, who she ended up giving extra help and tutoring to when she was able.

-She met her first partner, Daniel, at a birthday party for one of her friends in Los Angeles. He was a charismatic, good looking, and funny A-list actor. They were both 20. The relationship lasted for nine months.
-Anna fell hard for Daniel in a short time, and tried to integrate him into her very structured life & schedule... it didn't go over well, as Daniel did not want anything near as serious of a relationship as Anna did. He wanted more freedom and independence from the relationship than she did, which led to Anna constantly micromanaging him and never trusting that he wasn't cheating on her. Their relationship ended brutally, with him leaving her rather publicly after an argument at a restaurant in LA.

-Her second partner was a woman named Elouise: a Canadian singer and very much Anna's polar opposite in a lot of ways. They only dated for about three months- only about two months after Anna's breakup with Daniel. It was never quite the stable kind of relationship Anna wanted- Elouise was a singer in a rock band and lived a very no-fucks-given kind of way. They discovered eventually that they were both trying to use each other as a "project" relationship- Anna was trying to get Elouise to live a more domestic lifestyle with her, while Elouise was trying to get Lisa to live more freely and adventurously.
-Anna tried to loosen up for Elouise and be less perfection-oriented but it didn't really work out well, she always felt a bit uncomfortable and didn't feel like she was truly herself. She started her wanting to be more adventurous during that time however, because she admired that Elouise didn't care what other people thought of her ever. Anna always cared. They broke off their romantic relationship but remained rather close friends. Elouise was the first person who was openly concerned about Anna's weight & relationship with food and mentioned it to her. Anna never listened, insisting she was fine, but Ellie wasn't convinced.

-At a runway show in Milan just before Anna's 22nd birthday, she collapsed on the runway during the show and was taken to the hospital. She hadn't eaten anything for almost four days. Her mother wanted her to go see a doctor about it, but she said that she didn't need it and made up the excuse that it was a one time thing. Her siblings saw through her where her mother did not, though, and Monika began to accompany her whenever she traveled, making sure that she was eating something, even if it was still not enough.
-They still couldn't convince her to go to a doctor, but her brother did convince her to start seeing a therapist in New York, where she had just moved to from Germany. She did improve after this, although her eating disorder certainly didn't disappear. She was eating much closer to healthy portions of food, though, enough to where her siblings stopped worrying so much about her.
-She met her most recent boyfriend, Christopher, shortly after her move to New York City. He was the son of a New York City wealthy family much like hers, and so far the lowest-profile of her relationships. They got along like Anna hadn't with anyone else before, and dated for the next three years.

-The first year of their relationship was the type of rom-com paradise feeling things that you normally wouldn't think actually happens in real life. He never did anything but be sweet to her and easily fit into her "perfect life". After how terribly her relationship with Daniel had ended though, she was doing everything she could to hold back her more insecure and controlling tendencies, tiptoeing around everything she did and said like just one wrong move would crumble the whole thing.
-The second year of their relationship started off much the same, but started to go sour when Chris started talking about them getting married soon. He very much wanted the "American Dream" nuclear family, but Anna was still very much looking for more adventure in her life and that adventure was not marriage-shaped, and definitely didn't involve kids. She did everything she could to convince him and tried and steer him away from that thinking because to her they were fine how they were.
-When it became clear that he wasn't going to change his mind on wanting a traditional family, Anna started to become more distant, feeling like they never had anything to talk about any more. Any time from then on that he mentioned it to her, she would respond in a hostile manner or completely avoid the subject by ignoring him saying it or diverting the conversation immediately. Chris became frustrated by this and started to return her hostile spirit.
-Into their third year of the relationship was the worst for the both of them. When Chris had begun responding to her in a hostile way, Anna desperately tried to give him what she thought he wanted in being a 'trophy girlfriend', but it wasn't really what he wanted and he took it as an insult. Even though she is a rather strong personality on her own, Anna desperately wanted things to work out with him and go back to how they were, but their disagreements were becoming more and more frequent. Christopher had also began insulting her, trying to hurt her with words. Her appearance always received barely a glance and never a friendly one, her voice was annoying, she was lesser than those around her. After a while he even began even showing up to things with other women on his arm, but would deny that there was anything going on to Anna- saying that maybe if she was better than she wouldn't have to worry about it. Because they had started out so well, he knew exactly where to hit her to make it really hurt.

-No one outside of the relationship ever really knew how bad it had gotten, as all of his toxicity was kept inside of the apartment that they had moved into together their second year of their relationship. Both of them were pretty blind to how truly bad it had gotten as well, until one night during an argument where Chris had gone to grab her and had left a bruise on her wrist. It was what shattered their illusion that there was something worth staying for anymore. They broke it off the next day and Anna moved out and back to her old NYC apartment, where her sister had been staying at the time.
-She told Monika the basics of what had happened, and her sister convinced her to go to her therapist about it- something she hadn't done since the beginning of her & Chris' relationship. She also finally went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with her eating disorder, though she had kept it just enough under wraps over the past two years that she didn't concern her family again and she wasn't sent to a hospital. Despite it being at its probable worst, she was always sure to never bring attention to it. She made sure that it was perfectly "controlled" so that she only looked very thin.

-Anna hasn't been on the modeling scene for a few months now, and has been seeing her therapist about twice a week. She has been spending most of her time with her siblings and her friends, just trying to have some stability in her life after a few rather turbulent years. She still struggled a lot with her breakup with Chris however, it being her third in a short amount of time, and her second to end rather badly. As she would tell her therapist, she felt like she was too much to handle for anyone to love her. Despite being around so many positive influences- her friends and family- she hasn't been able to say that she is happy. Anna is still very much haunted by some of the things that Chris said to her, and how something that had started off so well had become so terrible very, very quickly.
[div class=tag]family/friends[/div]
Henry Klatten - Age 52 - Father
Tatiana Klatten - Age 50 - Mother
Lukas Klatten - Age 22 - Brother
Monika Klatten - Age 21 - Sister
Elouise "Ellie" Carlyle - Age 26 - Close friend & ex eirlfriend
Christopher Lawrence - Age 25 - Ex boyfriend

[div class=tag]what brings you?[/div]
"I mean... my therapist I suppose? And my sister. Monika really wanted me to go, but I think that's just because she's convinced I'll have some fantastical movie-type experience while I'm there that will change everything for the better. Overall it certainly sounded interesting so I wasn't against it. Plus, maybe what I need now is a chance to start completely new with a place and some people that I don't know... I guess."
[div class=tag]how long in therapy?[/div]
"I first started a few years ago, but then it kind of dropped off for a while during... well... my last relationship. Since the end of that it's been a few months, about four I believe."
[div class=tag]what is the problem?[/div]
"...I'm a little... much... for most people. A perfectionist, if you will. Monika and Lukas- my siblings- both say I'm bossy. I'm sure they'd be thrilled to go into detail about that for you if given the chance. At the most basic though, I think I'm just too much for anyone to really... want me."
[div class=tag]how do you feel about it?[/div]
"It's certainly not something I'm overly fond of talking about, for one thing. But I suppose if I'm to get any help out of this then I should probably actually talk about my issues... I think I'd have to say it disappoints me. Yeah, that seems like the right word. I really like to be the best person I can be and it can come off as a bit intense to others. I really wish I didn't scare people away quite like I do..."
[div class=tag]what positive changes would you make?[/div]
"Magic huh? Well I suppose I might want to see myself- my body- like everyone else seems to. I don't think of myself as 'beautiful' really, or at least not beautiful enough. Trust me, I've been told I'm crazy about that plenty of times. I'd also very much like to speak as many languages as I can, and goodness knows it would take much less time with magic! ... I think last of all I would want to find genuine happiness. I'm not... I'm not exactly sure how it is I'll get there as of now but, I would very much like to be unabashedly happy and free."
[div class=tag]what accomplishments with therapy?[/div]
"Hm... I suppose it's just that happiness I mentioned. That freedom. I'd very much like to get past some of my anxieties and insecurities, or at least have a better handle on them. Ellie- she's a friend of mine- says that I could rule the world if it weren't for anxiety. Now I don't know about that but... if nothing else maybe her little 'adventure' ideas wouldn't terrify me so much as they do if i were a bit less anxious and stressed over... everything." [/div] [/div] [/div] [/div] [/div]

coded by shady.

 

[blackout]

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avellaneda.[/div] [div class=image][/div] [div class=tabblock][div class=tab2][div class=icon2 style="top: -1px; left: 17px;"][/div][/div][div class="tab tab1" style="left: 132px; top: -25px;"][div class=icon2][/div][/div][div class=tabHome][div class=icon1][/div][/div][div class=tab4][div class=icon2 style="top: 0px; left: 17px;"][/div][/div][div class="tab tab5" style="left: 132px; top: 52px;"][div class=icon2 style="left: 16px; top: -1px;"][/div][/div][/div] [div class=allContent] [div class=leftBox] [div class=basicsImage] [/div] [/div] [div class=mainContent] [div class=basicsContent][div class=scroll][div class=cpad] [div class=tag]name[/div] marlowe julia avellaneda.

[div class=tag]nickname[/div] marlowe simply goes by "marley" — a short, sweet abbreviation that she prefers to her birth name.

[div class=tag]age[/div] twenty-six.

[div class=tag]d.o.b.[/div] may twentieth.

[div class=tag]p.o.b.[/div] lisbon, portugal.

[div class=tag]ethnicity[/div] portuguese-american.

[div class=tag]languages[/div] portuguese, english.

[div class=tag]gender[/div] female.

[div class=tag]sexuality[/div] heterosexual.

[div class=tag]role[/div] the idealist.


[div class=tag]height[/div] 5'8.

[div class=tag]build[/div] marley has a slim, narrow figure with willowy legs and small shoulders.

[div class=tag]eye color[/div] chocolate.

[div class=tag]hair color[/div] espresso.

[div class=tag]distinguishing features[/div] a birthmark on her left shoulder and several on her hands.

[div class=tag]body modifications[/div] a nasal piercing that she often doesn't wear.

[div class=tag]physical ailments[/div] periodic pain and weakness in her left ankle — it was broken and failed to heal correctly during her relationship, and despite getting surgery to fix the malformed bone at twenty-two, it still flares up occasionally.

[div class=tag]faceclaim[/div] anne de paula. [/div][/div][/div] [div class=appearanceContent][div class=scroll][div class=cpad] [div class=tag]persona[/div] marlowe avellaneda is a fractured girl. once upon a time, she was alive — animate, friendly, a spark of light in a rainstorm. but marley is no longer that person, and that little spark has long faded.

for anybody that fully understands marley, it's no secret why she is the way she is. upon first notice, she's painfully cordial, more akin to a polite emanation of a person than a real, tangible human being. while it'd be nice to say that there's something under the thin veil, at her core, marley is just a people-pleaser. the marley that most people come to know is just that: vapid and amiable. but the shallow reflection of who marley is that's displayed to the world is just a simple product of her distrustful nature, something that's near impossible for marley to shake.

what's not clear from first impressions of marley is that she is viciously, violently, insatiably envious. everything about her, the people pleasing and politeness, is a result of perpetual insecurity, and marley is stuck in a constant loop of despising herself and adoring others. she puts everyone around her on a pedestal and strives to serve them, almost unable to form her own, real opinions about others. however, this has served its purpose to her: she's kind, infinitely patient, and goes far out of her way to ensure that the others around her are having fun. however, a glint of humanity still shines under her lifeless surface in the form of marley's stark bossiness. she's dedicated to an idyllic vision of what could happen, so she takes any necessary steps to make sure it does, though the happiness and satisfaction of others still comes before it. this desperation for the "perfect moment" has it's silver lining though, as marley is quite the spontaneous adventurer and is willing to up and leave for a fun time whenever and wherever.

[div class=tag]strengths[/div] teamwork | easily gains friends | passionate towards her goals | extensive knowledge of human anatomy and wound treatment

[div class=tag]weaknesses[/div] self-loathing | submissive | can't stand up for herself | heavily co-dependent on those closest to her | unaware of her own flaws and broken thinking

[div class=tag]fears[/div] being completely, utterly alone | being homeless | being disowned by her family

[div class=tag]ambitions[/div] cultivating a lifelong relationship | finding a fulfilling job, though she imagines her partner would pick it for her | other than these flimsy goals, marley has no direction for what she desires in life, though she can't see this. [/div][/div][/div] [div class=personaContent][div class=scroll][div class=cpad] [div class=tag]backstory[/div] tw: domestic, verbal, and physical abuse
marlowe julia avellaneda was born in lisbon, portgual to a happy father and mother. but none of the memories from her homeland would survive as she grew older, since her mother was allowed a visa for work and moved to america when she was just three years old. however, her father refused to come and they divorced. this, unfortunately, would be the beginning of the long series of events that would lead to marley's fate.

her mother, carmen, quickly found work due to her medical degree and skilled grasp of the english language. with a job at a well-performing hospital, the financial aspect of their new life in america was taken care of, but that's not where carmen and marley would face their series of trials. carmen was, by no means, a naive woman, but she was quite the romanticist. she jumped at the idea of a relationship, and just two months after their arrival in america, she remarried.

for the first few years, the relationship was perfect. it was only when marley was 7 that she began noticing her step-father's horrible temper, but she thought nothing of it. in fact, it wouldn't be another two years until the abuse started, and even longer until she realized the situation. carmen would always take the brunt of the abuse, and her career as a nurse allowed her to fix her wounds. at first, she was terrified to go to the police as a foreigner, despite being legal. but soon the fear of the police turned to fear of him, and carmen and marley's home lives became an inescapable nightmare.

but her step-father, jeramiah, always favored marley. despite verbally bashing her, she found that he would never be violent towards her, and if she abided by what he said she needed to do, he would be nothing less than loving to her. at first, it was just small things, like losing weight or growing out her hair. but soon enough, marley was just as stuck as her mother, and despite the violent abuse she saw, a twisted, broken love grew in the cracks of her heart for jeramiah.

she was like a pet to him, but she couldn't tell the difference between possessive love and familial love. it was from this childhood that marley grew her twisted ideals of romance, ones that still hold steady today. it was only a few years before carmen couldn't take it anymore. she ran away, leaving marley all alone with jeramiah. even the police were never able to find her, but neither marley or the police realised it was because of abuse. despite jeramiah's moral corruption, he held a steady job as a .detective, and the two were able to stay afloat and he gladly payed for the best education and clothes money could buy for marley.

despite this, their whole relationship was based on the fragile crux that marley was completely and utterly obedient to jeramiah's command. as she entered highschool, this lapped over into her social life. she immediately became popular, but only because of her willingness to do absolutely anything that was asked of her. she started into a chain of minor, toxic relationships, and soon the only steady in her life against the roundabout of passing and going friends and flings was the cause of it all, her step-father.

by now, she was a passenger in her own life. jeremiah was the one who decided what college degree she would go after, and not knowing any better, marley was more than happy to oblige. it was there that she would meet the second antagonist of her life, a man named jamie. he quickly approached her and she found charm in his obscenely direct advances, and they quickly kindled a romance. despite jeremiah initially being unhappy with another man being present in her life, it seemed that upon meeting jamie the two got along swimmingly.

the relationship never seemed out of the ordinary to marley, mainly because it was incredibly similar to the one she shared with her father. he was equally as controlling, but marley found solace in the familiarity. it wasn't long before marley became enraptured by the idea of making the relationship "perfect", and this meant applying herself to both jamie and jeremiah's standards with equally as much dedication. however, this stretched her impossibly thin. both seemed to want different things of her, but she was infinitely devoted to both and refused to let either down. jamie was the first to take notice with this, and he was incredibly unpleased with her.

he too became verbally abusive, but marley only saw it as what had happened with jeremiah, and that meant that she had failed at her one purpose. this devastated her, so marley pushed harder to paint herself in what was an impossible image. they hung on to each other barely, but marley adored every moment she spent with him, even if they were ones tainted by angry yelling. however, just months before her senior graduation, things took a sharp turn for the worst. jamie snapped and became horribly physically abusive, culminating him pushing her off a ledge and marley breaking her ankle. she was so dedicated and heartsick over him that she never even considered going to the police, only taking it as another sign of her own failures. even with this, she was still dedicated to him, but jamie was at the end of his rope. a few months later, he broke up with her, and marley returned to live with jeremiah, absolutely heartbroken.

however, jeremiah was less than pleased to hear what had happened to his precious daughter. he nurtured her back under his careful gaze, getting her surgery for her poorly-healed ankle and sending her to therapy. he knew that no matter what, marley would remain loyal to him, and in some form, he too didn't realize the fault in his actions. months later, no progress had been made, and she was shipped off to sanguine island, both father and daughter eager to leave the bitter memories of jamie behind and return to the way things used to be.

[div class=tag]relationships[/div] carmen avellaneda • missing, presumed dead at 44 • marley has long hidden her memories of carmen after she disappeared. her father conditioned her to believe that she was unimportant, and now, marley barely thinks of her mother.
jeremiah avellaneda • 42 • despite jeremiah being abusive, toxic, and very detrimental to marley, they have an inseparably close relationship and neither truly realizes their wrongs.
jamie harvin • 26 • though marley still holds his memories somewhat fondly, after returning to jeremiah he quickly alienated her to him. he's the reason she's in therapy, and the sole reason rather than her father. [/div][/div][/div] [div class=backstoryContent][div class=scroll][div class=cpad] [div class=tag]what brings you to sanguine island?[/div] "all in all, i just really need to get over jamie and leave those memories behind."

[div class=tag]how long have you attended therapy?[/div] "just a few months, but my therapist got mad and said i needed to be honest with her. if we're being honest here then, i really have no idea what she was talking about."

[div class=tag]what is the problem from your viewpoint?[/div] "there isn't a problem except that i can't get over jamie. i hope this can take my mind off things, but for good this time."

[div class=tag]how does this problem typically make you feel?[/div] "just frustrated, really. dad told me that he 'ruined me' and that i need professional help. i agree, honestly, because i just wish i could snap my fingers and forget him."

[div class=tag]if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?[/div] "all i'd want is to have never have met jamie. actually, no, just to have forgotten him. wait, wait — that he would be just as nice as dad and we could be married right now."

[div class=tag]what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?[/div] "like i said multiple times before, i'd just love to wipe the memory of jamie completely. as much as i'd love to salvage it, i know that's not possible."

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[yousmelldead]

[class=explorer] position: relative; box-sizing: border-box; width: 800px; height: 500px; background: url(https://imgur.com/XCuYJG9.jpg); overflow: hidden; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 0; [/class][class=tab1] position: absolute; overflow: visible; width: 30px; height: 30px; left: 354px; top: 187px; z-index: 5; [/class][class=tab2] position: absolute; overflow: visible; width: 30px; height: 30px; left: 385px; top: 220px; z-index: 5; [/class][class=tab3] position: absolute; overflow: visible; width: 30px; height: 30px; left: 424px; top: 256px; z-index: 5; [/class][class=tab4] position: absolute; overflow: visible; width: 30px; height: 30px; left: 461px; top: 291px; z-index: 5; [/class] [script class=tab1 on=click] addClass show tabContents01 removeClass show tabContents02 removeClass show tabContents03 removeClass show tabContents04 addClass selectedTab tab1 removeClass selectedTab tab2 removeClass selectedTab tab3 removeClass selectedTab tab4 [/script] [script class=tab2 on=click] addClass show tabContents02 removeClass show tabContents01 removeClass show tabContents03 removeClass show tabContents04 addClass selectedTab tab2 removeClass selectedTab tab1 removeClass selectedTab tab3 removeClass selectedTab tab4 [/script] [script class=tab3 on=click] addClass show tabContents03 removeClass show tabContents04 removeClass show tabContents02 removeClass show tabContents01 addClass selectedTab tab3 removeClass selectedTab tab4 removeClass selectedTab tab2 removeClass selectedTab tab1 [/script] [script class=tab4 on=click] addClass show tabContents04 removeClass show tabContents01 removeClass show tabContents02 removeClass show tabContents03 addClass selectedTab tab4 removeClass selectedTab tab1 removeClass selectedTab tab2 removeClass selectedTab tab3 [/script] [class=tabContents01] opacity: 0; width: 800px; height: 500px; position: absolute; background: url(https://imgur.com/kOBIQzr.jpg); overflow: hidden; transition: all 0s; [/class][class=about] position: relative; overflow: auto; width: 213px; height: 235px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Cormorant; line-height: 16px; color: #000; padding: 8px; text-align: center; [/class][class=aboutcontainer] position: absolute; overflow: hidden; width: 213px; height: 235px; left: 424px; top: 11px; [/class] [class=tabContents02] opacity: 0; width: 800px; height: 500px; position: absolute; background: url(https://imgur.com/Wsunqjw.jpg); overflow: hidden; transition: all 0s; [/class][class=looks] position: relative; overflow: auto; width: 213px; height: 235px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Cormorant; line-height: 16px; color: #000; padding: 8px; text-align: center; [/class][class=lookscontainer] position: absolute; overflow: hidden; width: 213px; height: 235px; left: 424px; top: 11px; [/class] [class=tabContents03] opacity: 0; width: 800px; height: 500px; position: absolute; background: url(https://imgur.com/ozmkZZX.jpg); overflow: hidden; transition: all 0s; [/class][class=persona] position: relative; overflow: auto; width: 213px; height: 235px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Cormorant; line-height: 16px; color: #000; padding: 8px; text-align: center; [/class][class=personacontainer] position: absolute; overflow: hidden; width: 213px; height: 235px; left: 424px; top: 11px; [/class] [class=tabContents04] opacity: 0; width: 800px; height: 500px; position: absolute; background: url(https://imgur.com/8pAhawW.jpg); overflow: hidden; transition: all 0s; [/class][class=bio] position: relative; overflow: auto; width: 213px; height: 230px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Cormorant; line-height: 16px; color: #000; padding: 8px; text-align: center; [/class][class=biocontainer] position: absolute; overflow: hidden; width: 213px; height: 230px; left: 424px; top: 11px; [/class] [class=show] opacity: 1; z-index: 1; [/class][class=tag1] position: relative; display: inline; width: auto; height: auto; margin-right: 2px; color: #1AD2D8; font-family: Cormorant; font-size: 10px; padding-right: 0px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; letter-spacing: 1px;[/class] [class=tag2] position: relative; display: inline; width: auto; height: auto; margin-right: 2px; color: #EE35AD; font-family: Cormorant; font-size: 10px; padding-right: 0px; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; letter-spacing: 1px;[/class] [div class=explorer] [div class="tabContents tabContents01"][div class=aboutcontainer][div class=about] [div class=tag1]full name[/div]
rowan marcus moody
[div class=tag1]nicknames[/div]
rowan is fine
[div class=tag1]age[/div]
twenty-seven
[div class=tag1]d.o.b[/div]
january 14th
[div class=tag1]p.o.b[/div]
new york, new york
[div class=tag1]gender[/div]
male
[div class=tag1]sexuality[/div]
heterosexual
[/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents02"][div class=lookscontainer][div class=looks] [div class=tag2]hair color[/div]
chocolate brown
[div class=tag2]eye color[/div]
hazel-brown
[div class=tag2]height[/div]
6'3"
[div class=tag2]body type[/div]
mesomorph
[div class=tag2] dis. features[/div]
wide smile & jawline
[div class=tag2]modifications[/div]
right back calf
[div class=tag2]faceclaim[/div]
francisco lachowski

[/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents03"][div class=personacontainer][div class=persona] [div class=tag1]positives/virtues[/div]
adventurous-masculine-athletic-passionate-persuasive
[div class=tag1]negatives/vices[/div]
selfish-absentminded-irrational-neglectful-reactive
[div class=tag1]strengths[/div]
jack of all trades-math, surprisingly
[div class=tag1]weaknesses[/div]
compulsive tendencies-commitment issues
[div class=tag1]fears[/div]
abandonment-failing anything-becoming paralyzed
[div class=tag1]ambitions[/div]
to climb every mountain in the US-keep a relationship healthy-to go back to school

[/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents04"][div class=biocontainer][div class=bio] [div class=tag2]background[/div]

[div class=tag2]what brings you to sanguine island?[/div]
i need to straighten whatever shit is happening out. i am going to be twenty-eight and i'd rather not spend the rest of my life dating a mountain in place of a girlfriend.
[div class=tag2]have you ever seen a counsellor before?[/div]
too many to count. most of them want to rant about other issues in my life that i don't believe are actual issues. needless to say, they don't usually work out for me.
[div class=tag2]what is the problem from your viewpoint?[/div]
trust issues? i don't understand why everyone always leaves. i am a faithful guy, never have i ever strayed but i do have a very active lifestyle. i'm always on the run doing something new but i don't get why that has to be a problem.
[div class=tag2]how does this problem typically make you feel?[/div]
honestly? fucking frustrating. wouldn't they rather have a faithful boyfriend than some asshole who is always screwing around? why am i the one who always gets burned on this?
[div class=tag2]if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?[/div]
i mean, i guess i could stop focusing on what i always want. i put myself first...but isn't that how it should be?
[div class=tag2]what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?[/div]
i would like to hopefully understand what i have done that makes anyone i date run. maybe there is a medical issue? who knows, i just want answers.

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[.chxrryette.]

[class=bkgd] --bkgd-color: #fff9e8; --shadow-color: #fff; --accent-color1: #ED7D31; --accent-color2: #62bdab; --text-color: #000; position: relative; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 7px; width: 500px; height: 400px; background-color: var(--bkgd-color); cursor: url('https://i.imgur.com/FMvuswx.png'), auto; box-shadow: 5px 5px 0px var(--accent-color1); [/class] [class=pic1] position: absolute; width: 230px; height: 320px; left: 210px; top: 30px; background: url(https://imgur.com/g3KDxTy.png); background-size: 113%; border: 1px solid var(--shadow-color); box-shadow: 20px 20px 0px var(--accent-color2); [/class] [class=pic2] position: absolute; width: 250px; height: 150px; left: 150px; top: 70px; background: url(https://imgur.com/NGRQ5Wm.jpg); background-size: 100%; background-position: 50% 50%; border: 10px solid var(--shadow-color); [/class] [class=pic3] position: absolute; width: 190px; height: 250px; left: 80px; top: 30px; background: url(https://imgur.com/luwkQaB.jpg); background-size: 113%; border: 1px solid var(--shadow-color); [/class] [class=pic4] position: absolute; width: 200px; height: 100px; left: 250px; top: 60px; background: url(https://imgur.com/xbiyqP4.jpg); background-size: 120%; background-position: 50% 50%; border: 10px solid var(--shadow-color); [/class] [class=pic5] position: absolute; width: 170px; height: 210px; left: 60px; top: 150px; background: url(https://imgur.com/t2b3CnV.jpg); background-size: 100%; background-position: 50% 50%; border: 1px solid var(--shadow-color); [/class] [class=header] position: absolute; width: auto; height: auto; font-size: 35px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 35px; letter-spacing: 10px; text-align: right; color: var(--accent-color1); text-shadow: 3px 3px 0px var(--shadow-color); text-transform: uppercase; [/class] [class=tab] position: absolute; width: 15px; height: 15px; background-color: var(--accent-color2); color: var(--shadow-color); font-size: 8px; text-align: center; line-height: 15px; border-radius: 5%; transition-duration: 0.3s; box-shadow: 3px 3px 0px var(--shadow-color); [/class] [class name=tab state=hover] background-color: var(--accent-color1); color: var(--shadow-color); transition-duration: 0.3s; box-shadow: 2px 2px 0px var(--shadow-color); [/class] [class=textcontainer] position: absolute; background-color: var(--shadow-color); overflow: hidden; box-shadow: 10px 10px 0px var(--accent-color2); transition-duration: 0.3s; [/class] [class name=textcontainer state=hover] box-shadow: 10px 10px 0px var(--accent-color1); transition-duration: 0.3s; [/class] [class=text] position: relative; padding: 10px 20px 5px 10px; overflow: auto; color: var(--text-color); font-size: 10px; line-height: 11px; white-space: pre-wrap; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; [/class] [class=gallery] position: relative; left: 0%; overflow: hidden; width: 100%; height: 700px; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: space-evenly; [/class] [class=column] width: 45%; height: 150px; margin-left: 5px; [/class] [class=galpic] width: 95%; height: 100%; background-position: 0% 0%; margin-bottom: 5px; [/class] [class=tag] position: relative; overflow: visible; display: inline; width: auto; height: auto; font-size: 9px; text-align: center; margin-right: 5px; padding: 1px 3px 1px 3px; text-transform: uppercase; background-color: var(--accent-color1); box-shadow: 2px 2px 0px var(--accent-color2); color: var(--shadow-color); font-weight: 400; [/class] [class=credit] position: relative; overflow: hidden; width: 100%; height: 10px; text-align: center; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 8px; color: #dedede; opacity: 0.25; [/class] [class=hidden] display: none; [/class] [script class=tab on=click] hide tabsContent set currentTab (getText) if (eq ${currentTab} 1) (fadeIn 400 tabsContent1) if (eq ${currentTab} 2) (fadeIn 400 tabsContent2) if (eq ${currentTab} 3) (fadeIn 400 tabsContent3) if (eq ${currentTab} 4) (fadeIn 400 tabsContent4) if (eq ${currentTab} 5) (fadeIn 400 tabsContent5) [/script] [div class=bkgd] [div class="pic1 tabsContent tabsContent1"][/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent1" style="left: 85px; top: 250px;"]Penelope
Campbell[/div] [div class="pic2 tabsContent tabsContent2 hidden"][/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent2 hidden" style="left: 360px; top: 30px; text-align: left; font-size: 30px; line-height: 35px;"]pro
file[/div] [div class="textcontainer tabsContent tabsContent2 hidden" style="width: 250px; height: 160px; left: 60px; top: 200px;"][div class=text style="width: 245px; height: 135px;"][div class=tag]name[/div] Penelope Emmelina Campbell [div class=tag]nickname[/div] Penny (+) | Dory (-) [div class=tag]age[/div] 22 [div class=tag]gender[/div] cis-female [div class=tag]sexuality[/div] heteroflexible | mostly because she made herself be. she is attracted to the opposite sex 80% of the time, but is afraid to admit that she had also found herself attracted to the same sex 20% of the time. [div class=tag]role[/div] the conflicted [div class=tag]hair color[/div] Penelope is a natural ginger and maintains the length at around chin length. She considers the bouncy and curly nature of her hair to be one of her best physical qualities. Though her ginger hair lacks that vibrant reddish color and instead takes a more dulled, soft tone. [div class=tag]eye color[/div] Another one of Penny’s best physical attributes: her piercing sea-blue eyes. They seemingly glow when the sun’s light reflects off her pupils and their bright color happens to catch the attention of many passersby. [div class=tag]body type[/div] mesomorph [div class=tag]height[/div] 5' 3" [div class=tag]weight[/div] 125 lbs [div class=tag]body mods[/div] Penny does not care much for piercings or tattoos; in fact, she does not even have ear piercings. Part of the reason may be due to her fear of feeling the pain and crying like a baby, but also because of how her hair is styled. People would not be able to see her ear piercings, so why should she get them? [div class=tag]distinguishing features[/div] ♡ Other than her eyes, Penny has very rosy cheeks. Her skin in general has a history of betraying her, flustering quite easily and revealing her inner emotions within seconds. ♡ The light, scattered freckles across her rosy cheeks and nose bridge. Sometimes, she uses makeup to bring out her freckles instead of hiding them away. Some say that her freckles are like the constellations in a starry night. ♡ Her neck is often complimented on, though that may be a very strange distinguishing feature to bring attention to. Due to how her hair is shortened, her neck is now visible and one would notice how elegant it is, similar to a swan’s. [div class=tag]physical ailments[/div] Penny has a weak immune system, hence why she gets sick very easily. When conversing, she also has a stuttering problem and, at times, can take a while before being able to say an entire sentence. [div class=tag]Face claim[/div] @jerianie [/div][/div] [div class="pic3 tabsContent tabsContent3 hidden"][/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent3 hidden" style="left: 80px; top: 295px; text-align: left; font-size: 30px; line-height: 32px;"]per
sona[/div] [div class="textcontainer tabsContent tabsContent3 hidden" style="width: 200px; height: 280px; left: 250px; top: 80px;"][div class=text style="width: 195px; height: 260px;"][div class=tag]vices[/div] ♡ Cowardly ~ Just about everything scares this girl. She cannot take horror movies and will go through a mental breakdown, that is a definite. Her cowardice extends past the horror genre, into conflicts, confessions, or outright stating her own opinion about a subject. Good luck trying to get her to come out of her shell, since she will just malfunction and resort to curling up into a ball instead. ♡ Dependent ~ She enjoys being babied and is inclined to be clingy to those who take care of her. Penelope cannot deal with loneliness very well and even with how motherly she can be, her inner child comes out when she is comforted like a kid. She indirectly expects for people to put up with her childish manners and hold her hand whenever she may go places with them. This can be very annoying to those who prefers being independent and not having to take care of an adult who very well acts like a child. ♡ Forgetful ~ When Penny was a child, she was diagnosed with short-term memory loss. Though the effects of her mental disorder are not as severe as other cases (she retains 50% of the information she intakes), there are still many problems that arise from having this problem. She forgets even the slightest of things whether they be names, where things are, what she did yesterday, etc. Sometimes, this may upset those who get irritated when repeating themselves multiple times to her. Others have taken to nicknaming her Dory from Nemo, but she far from warming up to that name. For Penny, it is like she is stuck in a never-ending cycle of reliving bad news. Somehow, traumatic memories seem to stick like glue to her, perhaps it is because of the significance that event has on her life. ♡ Paranoid ~ With how she was also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, she has become increasingly paranoid over the years. She will stress over anything, even over things that may not pose a threat to her at all. Her mind just runs wild and she feels as if she can’t control herself when she adopts a pessimistic outlook on life. She will always have those haunting voices in the back of her head listing out the doubts about every aspect of her or other people. She blames her anxiety for why she ruined her relationship and with every passing day, questions the “why” rather than appreciating what “is.” ♡ Weak-willed ~ Penelope may come off as the naïve type and easily led on without knowing. Someone can tell her just about anything and she will believe them, even if they have a history of lying (mostly due to her short-term memory loss, she forgets that they had ever lied to her). She is also very impressionable, often not having a mind of her own or opinions of her own as well. If someone were to ask her what she would like to do, she would answer with “anything you’d want to do.” [div class=tag]neutrals[/div] ♡ Quiet ~ Penny is soft-spoken, mainly because she becomes very self-conscious when stuttering. On the positive side, she does not raise her voice, neither does she enjoy yelling or shouting. This can make her a very approachable person, someone who has a soothing voice and sounds very friendly by default. On the more negative side, since she does not like raising her voice, therefore she tries to prevent arguments or fights wherever possible. As a result, she hardly ever speaks up for herself. She may ask a question, show her concern or worries, but once she is shot down, she stays shot down. ♡ Selfless ~ Penelope is very altruistic when it comes to meeting people or caring for others. She would rather have her loved ones eat than herself be well-fed. She will sacrifice her own safety for the security of those around her. Which, ironically, is the reason why this may also be considered a negative trait of hers. She is selfless to the point of self-destruction. She will not rest until her friends or lovers are taken care of and will not admit how she is endangering her own welfare at the same time. ♡ Sensitive ~ Sympathetic is she when confronted with someone else’s emotional instability. When trying to find the source of the problem, she will be delicate to prod at certain subjects without upsetting the individual. She is thoughtful in her responses and careful when dealing with something or someone problematic. All the while, she is also emotionally sensitive. One of her main faults being how she is over-emotional, and the chance of her crying Is very probable, despite how small and insignificant something may be. If she is frightened, she will cry. If she is mad, she will cry. If she is happy, she will cry—in other words, there is no avoiding this predicament. [div class=tag]virtues[/div] ♡ Affectionate ~ Penny is more than willing to show her positive regard for you, both verbally and physically. She rarely goes a day without hugging at least one person and greets everyone, whether they be a friend or stranger, with a big hug. Physical affection aids her the most in keeping her sanity under control and the serotonin she gains from such contact is like a drug to her. Sometimes, she will get desperate enough to suddenly engage in physical affection, especially if she finds herself in an emotionally distressing situation. It is what her therapist advises her to do, especially at Sanguine island. After every meeting with her therapist, he would make sure to hug her so that she'd be used to this type of contact. It must have grown on her. ♡ Creative ~ She prides herself in being a writer, and having published a few books, she has attained a more imaginative way of thinking. Her mind is known to drift off into another world, daydreaming about things that are fictional and magical. In these moments, she is able to come up with many of her works, ideas, or things to draw. She adores the mystical and supernatural, being able to see the magic in the most mundane of things. ♡ Faithful ~ Penny must be one of the most loyal people that exist; seldom does she betray her friends, family, or lovers. She might not help you bury a body, but she will redirect any negative attention onto her for their own benefit. She is the one to say someone went left, when really, they went right. Penny will even cover for someone if it meant that she would be at fault as well. It is all for the acknowledgement of that person, and she will keep doing it until she earns that approval. ♡ Gentle ~ Tender in both her touch and her voice, a sort of motherly aura emits from Penny. She is innately placid and incredibly temperate. There is no telling if this kindness may be genuine 100% of the time, but she is very skilled in hiding it if she feels otherwise. ♡ Perceptive ~ If one little thing seems off, Penny will be sure to point it out... from afar. Though this may be the reason as to why she is trapped in her current situation, it helps her in calling out anyone who may be hiding something from her. When she wants to know about someone, she will be extremely observant and pay attention to any little details. That way, she will know someone’s nervous habits, lying behaviors, or any patterns she picks up on. [div class=tag]likes[/div] [ Autumn/Fall ][ The Color Orange ][ Reading ][ Writing Fiction Novels ][ The Fantasy Genre ][ Disney ][ The Ocean ][ Snow ][ Being Cared For ][ Casual Biking ][ Knitting ][ Drawing ][ Studio Ghibli (do you blame her for wanting a romance just like Howl’s Moving Castle? [div class=tag]dislikes[/div] [Anxiety][Short-Term Memory Loss][Warm Weather][The Horror Genre][Getting Scared][Bugs][Trusting Others Too Easily][Fake Friends][Her Naivety][Herself in General] [div class=tag]strengths[/div] ♡ Drawing/Sketching ♡ Writing literature ♡ Origami ♡ Knitting clothes and accessories ♡ Appealing to someone (either by actions or by words) [div class=tag]weaknesses[/div] ♡ Keeping a relationship ♡ Controlling her emotions ♡ Doubting everything imaginable ♡ Not taking care of herself ♡ Her short-term memory loss [div class=tag]fears[/div] ♡ Losing someone else “close” to her because of her faults ♡ Not being able to publish any more books (more so a problem with self-confidence) ♡ Her short-term memory loss getting worse and she forgets her friends or family (in other words, it escalates into early-onset Alzheimer’s disease) [div class=tag]ambitions[/div] ♡ Being able to properly take hold of her emotions ♡ Not scare away any more potential friends or lovers with her “stupidity” (her words, not mine) ♡ Be a successful writer in the fantasy-genre [/div][/div] [div class="pic4 tabsContent tabsContent4 hidden"][/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent4 hidden" style="left: 130px; top: 30px; text-align: left; font-size: 30px; line-height: 32px;"]bio
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phy[/div] [div class="textcontainer tabsContent tabsContent4 hidden" style="width: 300px; height: 200px; left: 80px; top: 150px;"][div class=text style="width: 295px; height: 180px;"][div class=tag]Childhood[/div]

• Penny was born and left at the door of an orphanage (traditional style). Not so traditional since originally Penny was from a very small town in Scotland.
• When she was in the orphanage, she was different than the other kids, often forgetting simple tasks she had done either that day or the day before. She’d even have problem communicating with the kids, and so she voluntarily became mute in order to avoid any more ridicule from the rest of the fellow orphanage kids.
• She did find solace in one of the nannies, Ava Armstrong, who was the only person Penny felt comfortable talking to.
• Soon enough a couple, who had gone through the process of adopting, was interested in adopting a special needs child (as one of them was a teacher for special needs children and the other was a doctor)
• Penny was around 5 years old when she was adopted.
• She and her new family moved to Aberdeen, where Penny attended school. She was still very much afraid of getting bullied for her speech problem and other mental issues, and so she remained mute (though she, after trusting her new parents) continued to speak outside of school). Therefore, she did not have much friends, only one boy seemed interested in how quiet she was and at times they would hang out without exchanging a single word. Penny was afraid that if she opened her mouth, he’d also treat her differently. She never got his name.
• Her mothers, Kenna and Aileen Campbell, were becoming increasingly aware of Penny’s worsening attitude after every day of school. They were beginning to suspect any problems at school, one of these problems revolving around the bullying of their daughter. And though none of this was happening at her school, they made sure to take the extra measure of moving to the Americas.
• Kenna and Aileen expected that their daughter’s school life would improve because of this move, when instead, it worsened.

[div class=tag]Adolescence[/div]

• Once Penny graduated and entered middle school, was when bullying became a bigger part of her life. Now, being quiet was enough to spark a flame in some of her “fellow” classmates, who made it their mission to get a word—anything out of this girl. It became more of a game to them. Who would be the first to make Penny speak? The constant bothering and surprise tickles, which at first Penny thought was harmless, evolved into patronizing, bullying, and verbal and physical abuse.
• It was here where Penny’s nickname “Dory” came from. That nickname made Penny despise that movie; she never made an effort to see it.
• The teachers were to caught up in their own problems that they failed to realize on of their students enduring this abuse right in front of their eyes. They would settle the class down, mutter some insignificant words to the bullies (that did not have any effect whatsoever), and would ask Penny if she was alright (though she would refuse to answer their questions, only nodding in order to prevent any more trouble from arising because of her). If she spoke up, her classmates would only hate her more. Plus, she knew her mothers would immediately enroll her into another school; she did not want to put them through such heartache again.
• The summer breaks were only time for Penny’s anxiety about the subsequent school year to intensify. By the time she was in 8th grade, she would breakdown before every car ride to school.
• Her mothers only bought Penny’s explanations and excuses for so long before they took matters into their own hands and confronted the school. They interrogated the teachers and after finding out that they daughter had been abused once again (not knowing that her previous school district in Scotland was perfectly fine), they reprimanded the school for their lack in proper anti-bullying procedures. Penny then switched schools, much to her dismay.
• She finished her last year of middle school in silence, nothing happened (since people had their own cliques and puberty issues to think about). However, the trauma from the previous years left Penny mental scarred and bruised.
• At age 13, Penny was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

[div class=tag]Teenage Years[/div]

• Surprisingly, in freshmen year people became more accepting of Penny. She supposed it was because everyone was so excited to make new friends, forgetting about their past troubles and opting for a new start.
• Well, they were nice, but no one was interested in becoming her friend (after all, she was mute. How would they be able to communicate)? “Isn’t she disabled, after all?” Penny would hear that question bounce around for the entirety of freshmen year, and she soon got used to that label, “warming” up to it like any another nickname.
• Sophomore year mirrored Penny’s 8th grade year, with little to no problems arising. Penny was actually able to heal a bit during this quiet period.
• In Junior year was when Penny’s world flipped upside down again. She found herself forced into a clique with one of the more popular groups in her high school. She did not know that by simply giving away the answers to your homework would get her into one of the most talked about groups in the school. Well… she uses the word “get in” lightly, since she was treated as more of a servant than anything. Penny was more of decoration for their group than a member, and they would make sure she knew. They would come up with excuses as to why she could not hang out with them outside of school, why they need more answers from her schoolwork. Penny would brush it off with every time she was shot down, thinking it was something wrong with her as to why they would not “grant” her the privilege of hanging out with them.
• One day, after getting picked up from school, Penny was standing with three of the girls from her “group.” It seemed that they had seen Penny’s two mothers picking her up in their car, since they made sure to interrogate Penny the following school day. “So… you have a sister? We didn’t know that!” After taking her time, with those incessant stuttering that made some girls giggle, Penny explained that she had two mothers. The news absolutely baffled the girls. “Oh,” was the only word they could get out of there mouth before an awkward silence befallen the group once again. “So… you’re a lesbian?” Penny did not think she was, but then again, she never exactly fell in love yet. She told them that she did not think so, but they did not quite buy it. “Well, number one, having two mothers is pretty… weird. And my parents said that if you have gay parents, the children turn gay too.” “Yeah, that’s what my parents said too--” “I…I’m n…no…not…gay!”
• Penny could see those witches exchanging smug looks with each other, a language Penny never understood. “Alright, Penny. Whatever you say. We’ll let it go”
• Obviously, that was a lie, since everyday after that was like hell. They would get a ruse out of messing with Penny, going as far as to sexually-harass her just to upset her. It got to the point where Penny would freak out if someone touched her, sometimes leading straight into another mental breakdown.
• In an effort to shake off the hoard of piranhas, Penny made a deal with the devil—or, devils… where Penny, so that she can prove that she was not like her mothers, would “confess” to Landon Wyatt, the main boy the girls have been thirsting after since the start of high school. Penny did not know why they were sending her to do it, since she could just pretend, she had a crush on him, get rejected, and then move on. Maybe the girls just wanted to see her get rejected and make fun of her that way, but by now Penny was already used to this constant, scornful behavior from the girls.
• “Sure.” Penny heard Landon say nonchalantly after giving her a onceover. That made no sense, he accepted her but rejected the other girls in that cult of theirs? What kind of logic was he using, or better yet, was this just a giant prank to make Penny regret even more of her life? She asked him why, even questioning him why he rejected the girls but accepted her confession. He thought long about his answer, comically raising his eyes to the ceiling. He then said it was because he’s been watching her for a while. “Don’t tell me, is this just a joke? Dang… I was really hoping you liked me.” As if Penny couldn’t dig herself into another hole, she did at that very moment. She immediately said she did like him, throwing any common sense she had left out the window. Perhaps Penny was desperate enough to feel true love, to finally experience the romanticized high school life shown on TV from time to time. She still said that she needed time to think and once she left Landon behind, she was swarmed by the girls. For once Penny felt more significant, having done what they could not, but unfortunately, they made it clear that they did not like what took place. Yet, Penny did not care if they never talked to her again, she had one of the school’s most handsome athletes as her new boyfriend (well, not yet). She simply felt over the moon about it all.
• When she came back to school, she was excited to find Landon and tell him about her decision. However, when she finally saw him, he had his arm wrapped around another girl’s waist. The situation confused Penny to no end and she hesitantly confronted him about it. “Come on Penny, I just thought you were an easy chic to bag. Plus, I haven’t really done it with someone like you before so it would have been a new experience for both of us.” Penny could not stop herself from slapping the haughty grin off of Landon’s face, the sickening sound of the contact echoing throughout the school halls.
• The next day Penny did not come to school, neither did she the next day, the next week, or next month. Her mothers, after hearing Penny pour her entire heart out to them, made the executive decision to homeschool their daughter for the remainder of high school.

[div class=tag]College Life[/div]

• It was difficult for Penny to get into a college with the poor grades, weak mental state, and lack of work ethic she had, but nonetheless she was able to get into a small, private college in the state. Within the years she was homeschooled, Penny’s mothers got her into therapy and babied her way more than they used to. She became accustomed to being dependent and barely doing anything herself. However, her mothers had to prepare her for life in college (since they still wished for her to have that college experience in a dorm).
• When enrolling into the private college, Penny was approved to have a single room in one of the dormitories. This was good news to her and her parents, she wouldn’t have to deal with the horror of sharing a space with another human being.
• Penny was reluctant to try and make friends in her first year of college, fearful of what had happened to her in the past and of time repeating itself.
• When she was preparing to go to class, she walked down the stairwell of her hall and immediately ran into a fast-moving body. She almost killed herself, until an arm managed to catch her before she fell down the stairs to her demise. “Oh my god, are you ok?” Penny looked up to meet a pair of green, worried eyes of which also belonged to another college boy. She muttered a small “y…yes” before steadying herself back up and begun to regain her composure. When she looked at the boy again, she realized how tall he was compared to her. It was intimidating to say the least, despite how friendly he looked. “You must also live in this dorm, my name is Jacob.” He flashed a bright grin her way and she could not help but squint. She did not know that this boy would both be the love of her life and the source of her trauma, all she knew was that this Jacob almost got her killed.
• After that encounter, she continually ran into Jacob, whether that be at one of the dining halls, during her classes, on campus in general, etc. With every meeting, he would throw a cheesy pick-up line her way, and she would cringe, sometime running away in embarrassment. She was convinced that this was yet again another bully, but Jacob became more and more thoughtful with every meeting, looking her in the eye, trying to stop her from running away, and complimenting her whenever he could. At first Penny was extremely oblivious to these tactics, blinded by the fear that Jacob just wanted to hurt her like everyone else.
• She asked him one day if he hated her stutter. He just replied back with “what, no! On the contrary, I think it’s really cute.”
• However, after this went on for another year, Penny gave up and accepted Jacob feelings. Oh how happy she was when she realized they were truly genuine.
• In the next year, Penny felt more loved than she ever felt in her entire life. She became more affectionate, more loving, and more confident when she was near Jacob. So much so that she became very dependent on him for emotional support. Yet, he didn’t care, he was actually more willing to lay down with her and just hold her for hours on end… just to hear each other’s heartbeat. It became a lullaby for Penny and she slept to his beating heart many times.
• They continued to date for the duration of college, sharing those precious moments they had with one another. Penny, having already fleshed out her idea for her new series, moved on to publish the first book. Jacob was one of the first people to read it and instantly gave her positive feedback, careful to not criticize her work too much. After all, it was very good quality, and he was not surprised that she would live up to such success.
• In senior year, Penny had gotten somewhat of a scare. She was curious when she saw Jacob speaking with another girl, who had the looks of all stereotypical models, rich girls, and sorority girls. Later on that day, she was afraid to confront Jacob about it. Her anxiety was quickly coming back and whispering doubts into her ears and those horrible “what-if” questions that turn Penny into a nervous wreck. Even so, she was able to conjure up the courage to ask him about the girl. He answered truthfully that the girl was his ex-girlfriend in high school and ended up going to the same college as him. She wanted to get back together, after going through a nasty breakup with one of the frat boys. Of course he said no and reassured Penny that he would never give her up for his ex, but the conversation still sent her into a fight-or flight mode.
• As a result, Penny became more clingy, jealous, and needy. She would constantly question him about anyone he was with for that day, clearly showing her distrust for him even though they have been dating for 4 years now. Jacob was starting to acknowledge this and try to ease Penny’s worries, but instead they quadrupled in size. Their relationship began deteriorating.
• With every call, every text, and every question, Jacob distanced himself even more. His friends were constantly telling him how toxic this relationship was, and how annoyingly needy Penny became. He would ignore their advice for a few more months before he finally stood up for himself and faced Penny. Penny, after all the trauma she’s been through, had adapted to using manipulative measures such as denouncing his love her, promising that she’ll hurt herself if he left, anything that would keep this relationship together. Little did she know, by doing that, she was watching it fall apart in front of her very eyes. They argued for an hour straight, and nearing the end of their argument both were in tears. Penny closed in on herself, turning into a little ball of apologizes, sobbing, and trembling. Harmful things were said, and mistakes were made. Jacob decided that it was best that they both separated.
• Unbeknownst to Penny was that Jacob had already saved up for an engagement ring, ready to present it to her on her birthday. She will never know.
• After that day, Penny switched all her classes online, returning home to lock herself away from the world. Penny stopped working on her books, she barely passed her classes, and even rarely spoke to her mothers. She blamed herself for why Jacob broke up with her, and she still does. She ruined the one thing that kept her going, and turned the love of her life against her, She truly believed she will never be able to go on knowing… dreaming… about how life would have been if she and Jacob were still together.

[div class=tag]Relationships[/div] Biological parents | Unknown | ?? Adoptive-Mother | Kenna Campbell | 56 Adoptive-Mother | Aileen Campbell | 59 Ex-Boyfriend | Jacob Byrne | 25 [/div][/div] [div class="pic5 tabsContent tabsContent5 hidden"][/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent5 hidden" style="left: 200px; top: 270px; text-align: left; font-size: 30px; line-height: 32px;"]misc. &
gallery[/div] [div class="textcontainer tabsContent tabsContent5 hidden" style="width: 280px; height: 220px; left: 180px; top: 30px;"][div class=text style="width: 275px; height: 195px;"][div class=tag]Interview[/div] — what brings you to sanguine island? “Guiltiness. I…I…I know, m…m…maybe it’s a s…s…s—sorry… um… It’s a stupid r…reason for an e…e…equally s…s…s…stupid person. P…probably b…b…because of m..my parents t…too. This whole… thing… is… has…taken over.. m-my life, like an… e-ever consuming miasma, if that… makes.. any sens—of course.. it… d..doesn’t Penny... Um… I’m… drowning in my own… self… self… regret. I…it’s… all… my fault… it’s…My… therapist said… this is… is… um… n…necessary for my healing… process… that I’ll meet… others. Do not get… me wrong… I… I…I would love to… meet people. I see it… as… my second chance.” — how long have you attended therapy? “I… I’m… sorry. I… can’t remember exactly… how long. B…b…b…but my therapist… says th…that… it…it’s like e…everytime I come… it’s a new… um… s…s…session w..w..with a new… person. F…f..funny, isn’t it.” — what is the problem from your viewpoint? “Is it s…strange to s…say th…that it’s me…? I think… I’m… th…the problem. At least… it’s always… b…b…been like that. He [her therapist] says… it’s n..not true… but… I do s…s…suppose I have… adopted those…. opinions… about me.” — how does this problem typically make you feel? “I…in…significant… T…t…tr…trouble….trouble…some. Brok….broken. C…crazy… even. The list… goes on…” — if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life? “A..anything—e…e…everything! God… I’ll e…even change… my… c…compo..sition, a…anything… that will… s..stop.. me… from… feeling th…th…this…w…way. Y..y…yeah… Pathetic…th…that’s… the word.” — what do you hope to accomplish in therapy? “Th…that…I…will… f…finally…feel… whole. W…whole? Yes...w…whole. I… want…t..t…to feel…whole again. Um…I’m… sorry… w…what was…th…the question…again?” [div class=tag]playlist[/div] Brave Enough (feat. Christina Perri) | Lindsey Stirling CIRCUS CIRCUS | Jenna Holiday Cold | Caroline Kole Ending Song - Merry-Go-Round of Life | Chieko Baisho Graveyard | Halsey I Was Feeling Down, I Found a Nice Witch and We’re Friends | In Love With a Ghost Numb | Marina and The Diamonds Octahate | Ryn Weaver Panic Room | Au/Ra Real Friends (feat. Swae Lee) | Camila Cabello Sloth | Mili [div class=tag]enneagram type[/div] 6 | The Loyalist [div class=tag]attire[/div]♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ [div class=tag]gallery[/div] ↓ [div class=gallery] [div class=column] [div class=galpic style="background: url(https://imgur.com/9sB3Nu2.jpg); background-size: 130%; background-position: 50% 50%;"][/div] [div class=galpic style="background: url(https://imgur.com/6Jx2gOc.jpg); background-size: 130%; background-position: 30% 30%;"][/div] [div class=galpic style="background: url(https://imgur.com/gAZxPZc.jpg); background-size: 150%; background-position: 50% 0%;"][/div] [div class=galpic style="background: url(https://imgur.com/WG0dwog.jpg); background-size: 130%; background-position: 0% 0%;""][/div] [/div] [div class=column] [div class=galpic style="background: url(https://imgur.com/8NTDhLS.jpg); background-size: 150%; background-position: 45% 50%;"][/div] [div class=galpic style="background: url(https://imgur.com/zkjhD97.jpg); background-size: 130%; background-position: 50% 20%;"][/div] [div class=galpic style="background: url(https://imgur.com/OyITtk2.jpg); background-size: 130%; background-position: 50%; 0%;"][/div] [div class=galpic style="background: url(https://imgur.com/a6jrQG0.jpg); background-size: 130%; background-position: 0% 0%;"][/div] [/div] [/div] [/div][/div] [div class=tab style="top: 30px; left: 30px;"]1[/div] [div class=tab style="top: 50px; left: 30px;"]2[/div] [div class=tab style="top: 70px; left: 30px;"]3[/div] [div class=tab style="top: 90px; left: 30px;"]4[/div] [div class=tab style="top: 110px; left: 30px;"]5[/div] [/div][div class=credit]code by sox [/div]

 

[timshel]

not so fancy save between schoolwork assignments​

 

[lovers]

an additional not so fancy save.​

 

[shapeshifter]

[class=border] --bkgd-colour: #000000; --text-colour: #ffffff; --accent-1: #A0C9C9; --image-1: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/78/0a/6d/780a6d0b32a40aca695393fecdcf439d.jpg); --image-2: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/8c/74/d7/8c74d7ff718a3fb2f1bcfaa8b49230eb.jpg); --image-3: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/a3/77/60/a377606245e0269781ee6f9ef3648267.jpg); --image-5: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/55/e5/cf/55e5cfbf291705065291bb86e8ca8f2c.jpg); --image-4: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/2b/35/1f/2b351f9d796472f47b0522d5893a136e.jpg); [/class] [div class=container][div class=border][div class=image][/div] [div class=title]Cherry Handley
The Idealist[/div][div class=line][/div] [div class=inner][div class=innerfade][div class=header]Cherry
Handley[/div] [div class="tab tab1 chosentab" style="top: 5px;"]BASICS —[/div] [div class="tab tab2" style="top: 17px;"]LOOKS —[/div] [div class="tab tab3" style="top: 29px;"]PERSONA —[/div] [div class="tab tab4" style="top: 41px;"]HISTORY —[/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents1 show"][div class=scroll]NAME [div class=answer]charity "cherry" leigh handley[/div] AGE + BIRTHDATE [div class=answer]23 | june 16[/div] PLACE OF BIRTH [div class=answer]chicago, illinois[/div] ETHNICITY [div class=answer]english | french | german[/div] GENDER [div class=answer]female[/div] SEXUALITY [div class=answer]bisexual[/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents2"][div class=scroll]HEIGHT [div class=answer]5'4[/div] WEIGHT [div class=answer]115lbs[/div] BUILD [div class=answer]ectomorph[/div] HAIR [div class=answer]brown[/div] EYES [div class=answer]brown[/div] BODY MODIFICATIONS [div class=answer]standard ear piercings[/div] PHYSICAL AILMENTS [div class=answer]anorexia nervosa[/div] FACECLAIM [div class=answer]maude apatow[/div] WARDROBE [div class=answer]x x x x x[/div] GALLERY
[div class=leftpic style="background: var(--image-2); background-size: cover; background-position: top center;"][/div] [div class=rightpic style="background: var(--image-3); background-size: cover; background-position: top center;"][/div] [div class=leftpic style="background: var(--image-4); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=rightpic style="background: var(--image-5); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents3"][div class=scroll]THE PERSONA [div class=answer]first and foremost, cherry is a perfectionist. while some may see it as a positive trait, it is most definitely a problem for cherry. she obsesses on something until she deems it "perfect", even if the journey to "perfect" does more harm than good. it's a hopeless endeavor as true perfection doesn't actually exist. in her pursuit of perfection, she can tend to be overly critical. whether it is of herself, a situation, to others, it can be damaging or offensive. she has a rigid mindset. her beliefs are firm and it takes real effort and persuasion to change them. ultimately, her quest for perfection is rooted in her deep insecurity. never comfortable in her own skin, she always sought after validation from others. because of this, she is quite sensitive, taking things quite personally, even if it wasn't meant to be. On the other hand, cherry is quite perceptive. she is good at reading people and situations, as she is often observant. she is quite bright, intelligent and successful in her academic pursuits. dedicating her energy to doing well and pursing her dream. she is sincere and genuine in interactions and in her pursuits, wanting to truly earn things and do it the right way. she also wants people to understand how she feels about them. she is gentle by nature. she is not violent in her words or her actions, except when it comes to herself. most of all, she is compassionate. she constantly puts others' wellbeing before her own, especially if it is someone she cares about. [/div] STRENGTHS [div class=answer] diligence | organization | trustworthiness[/div] WEAKNESSES [div class=answer] communication | giving up control | avoids conflict[/div] FEARS [div class=answer] dying | not becoming independent | bugs[/div] LIKES [div class=answer] hot tea | peaches | the beach[/div] DISLIKES [div class=answer] her first name | snow | milk[/div] AMBITIONS [div class=answer] become a CRNA | to be secure in herself | to not have to rely on her family[/div] AILMENTS [div class=answer]diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, ocd, and anxiety[/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents4"][div class=scroll]THE STORY (tw: mentions of an ed)[div class=answer]-cherry was born in chicago to emily and fred handley -youngest of four with three older brothers -her parents split when she was four and her mom left -her older brothers helped their dad out by watching cherry -was a little awkward at times, especially when it came to girl problems -her eating disorder began to develop in high school -cherry's brothers began to worry but she rejected their help -but it got to a point where she couldn't pretend anymore -was put into an outpatient program and began her road to recovery -not only was the diagnosed with anorexia, but she also was diagnosed with ocd, and anxiety -put a lot of her life into perspective and things started to look up when she got the help she needed -was accepted into college and majored in nursing -wants to eventually become a certified registered nurse anesthetist (crna) -college is where she met her ex, ryan -ryan and her clicked immediately and she fell fast -however, in college she stopped therapy as she moved away from her therapist -cherry's college therapists didn't take her seriously, so she avoided going and only checked in with her therapist when she was home in the summer -she began to slip back into her obsession with perfection -she really loved ryan, so she needed the relationship to be perfect -cherry would go to extreme lengths to have things be "perfect" -in retrospect, it was uncomfortable and isolating -however, ryan reacted negatively and instead of reassuring her, he began to criticize her -things escalated into screaming, insulting, and degrading -it only fueled her need to "fix" the relationship, which in turn, caused more problems -in the meantime, she did graduate with her bachelors in nursing and moved in with ryan -she began to spiral further and began restricting her eating again, though not to the same degree as before -ryan was never violent, but cherry did begin to worry about it -the abuse began to get worse and worse and cherry's brothers decided to intervene -he had began to threaten her and her brothers showed up and forced her to move home and file a restraining order -since moving home, she had felt at her lowest and completely worthless[/div] RELATIONSHIPS[div class=answer]fred handley: father | 58 | alive emily nichols: mother | 57 | alive (no contact) isaac handley: brother | 30 | alive liam handley: brother | 28 | alive danny handley: brother | 26 | alive ryan webber: ex-boyfriend | 26 | alive[/div] INTERVIEW[div class=answer]what brings you to sanguine island? -"there are a few reasons i've come to sanguine island. the most prominent is dealing with what happened with ryan. i still have nightmares about the fights and all the yelling. it caused a major backslide in the progress i made in high school and i need to get back to a better place where i can function again." how long have you attended therapy? -"i attended therapy for most of high school, but i stopped going regularly once i went to college. from then, it was intermittent and only in the summers. but since i graduated, i haven't gone at all." what is the problem from your viewpoint? -"my self image. it wasn't the best to begin with, but now it has completely deteriorated to a point where i can barely recognize myself." how does this problem typically make you feel? -"honestly, its a hard feeling to describe. i genuinely don't like what i see when i look in the mirror. not just physically, but the lifelessness, the worthlessness, and the pain that is clear on my face. although i am not as disordered in my eating as i was in high school, i feel like i'm well on my way to hitting my lowest point. i'm not even sure i really have the energy to stop it." if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life? -"there are so many ways i want to answer this question. most of all, i would want to make my body image issues go away because i'd be able to fully focus on dealing with my emotional problems without having to spend so much time worrying about my physical health and what i am doing to my body." what do you hope to accomplish in therapy? -"i'm being realistic. i'm not expecting to be 100% better and perfect, but i'm just hoping to be at a place where i can take coping mechanisms and apply them in my life. i want to get to a point where i'm independent and secure, so i can process what happened and start moving forward with my life. this is something that will never leave me. there will be good days and bad days, but i want to get to a point where the bad days are not so often and so debilitating."[/div][/div][/div] [/div][/div][/div][/div]

coded by constellation.

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[zippy]

[class=border] --main-color: #A0C9C9; --main-image: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e6/72/ef/e672ef95725ad918c35ed1a1ad477b14.jpg); --image-1: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/03/96/39/039639c49808f4a19382ddb3260917d2.jpg); --image-2: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/1d/1e/a4/1d1ea4ea3eb1ecea82708505d51a245b.jpg); --image-3: url(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/eb/e6/ec/ebe6ece6a001a27f76ee60a5de703829.jpg); --image-4: url(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ab/23/3d/ab233df8327a1075db967efee55d04b2.jpg); --image-5: url(https://elite-v2.s3.amazonaws.com/media/c/i/2018/01/27/02/20/pola3.e4a66ffd6a97.jpeg); [/class]

[div class=container][div class=border] [div class=main][div class=mainimage]

[div class=textbox][div class=scroll][div class=tag]name.[/div]

Damien Clermont​

[div class=tag]nickname.[/div]

none​

[div class=tag]age.[/div]

twenty-five​

[div class=tag]D.O.B.[/div]

April's Fool (1st of April)​

[div class=tag]P.O.B.[/div]

Dinan, France​

[div class=tag]sexuality.[/div]

Bisexual​

[div class=tag]role.[/div]

the lover​

[/div][/div][/div] [div class=mone][div class=outsidetb][div class=insidetb][div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]height.[/div]

5'10​

[div class=tag]hair.[/div]

Dark brown, nearly black. Usually styled with loosish curls.​

[div class=tag]eyes.[/div]

Bluish-Greenish. Depends on the lighting​

[div class=tag]build.[/div]

Damien used to have a rather muscular build. Though hints of this are still present in his strong shoulders and defined chest, he has lost a significant amount of weight in the past 4 months.​

[div class=tag]distinctive features.[/div]

His facial hair is always well-trimmed, and it’s been years since he’s been clean-shaven.​

[div class=tag]ailments.[/div]

Damien doesn’t sleep much, and when he does he often suffers from night terrors that leave him soaked in cold sweats.​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]persona.[/div]

For those who know him, he is often the first person to come to mind when they think of someone who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. He is utterly selfless, never hesitating to put other’s needs before his own. He is rather warm and approachable and always tries his best to make others feel at home and comfortable. When one catches his attention, he is completely dedicated to that person. Faithfulness and attentiveness are second nature to the man. He is incredibly respectful, even to those who have wronged him or don’t exactly seem to like him. All in all, if someone is looking for a trustworthy friend, Damien is a solid choice. Damien suffers from a distinct lack of motivation thanks to constantly being shut down. Many days he can hardly convince himself to climb out of bed, so planning for the future isn’t something on his radar. In fact, Damien tends to live in the past, unable to see past what his exes have done to him. This sometimes drives away people before they can even get close, as he tends to overwhelm them with insecurities and accuse them unfairly of cheating or wanting to leave. Though Damien would like to say that he is a lover and a dreamer, lately all he is able to see is the inevitable end of the relationships before him.​

[div class=tag]strengths.[/div]

baking - When Damien can convince himself to, he is capable of making some truly show-stopping desserts.​

[div class=tag]weaknesses.[/div]

genuine introspection - Though Damien is an expert at beating himself up when it comes to truly looking within to see how he can better himself, Damien fails at doing so in a useful manner.​

[div class=tag]fears.[/div]

Damien’s major fear is as simple as it is obvious—being alone. When left by himself, his thoughts tend to overwhelm him, and he is afraid that someday soon they’ll drown him.​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]history.[/div]

TW mentions of alcoholism, suicide, and self harm

• Born the only child
• Mother left when he was 7 telling him that she never wanted a son. Dad was devastated but hid it well from Damien.
• Age 10, Dad begins drinking an excessive amount. Stops going to work and never seems to leave the couch
• Age 12, Dad commits suicide leaving a note for Damien stating the reason as “debilitating loneliness”. Damien goes to live with his 3 cousins
• Damien begins cutting himself, to punish himself for driving his parents away. His eldest cousin (15) catches him and tells his aunt
• Age 13, Damien attends therapy for the first time
• Age 15, Damien falls head over heels for a girl in his year. They date for some time until it comes out that she’s been sleeping with one of his cousins
• He dates on and off throughout the next few years, each relationship ending terribly
• All of his cousins have moved out and gone on to do better things. Damien seems frozen in time and rarely leaves the house.
• Age 21, Damien meets the woman of his dreams. They date for 3 years but it ends when Damien proposes and she says that this was just a bit of fun that she didn’t mean to go on for so long

[div class=tag]interview.[/div]

What brings you to Sanguine Island? “I guess... I’ve finally reached my breaking point. I give and I give but it never seems like enough. My heart doesn’t hurt anymore I just feel... Well, empty.” How long have you attended therapy? “On and off since I was 13. I mean I haven't gone as consistently throughout the past 5 years but I felt like asking what’s the point? 7 years and they didn’t help me.” What is the problem from your viewpoint? “I love too much, too soon. It scares people away.” How does this problem typically make you feel? “I feel like there’s no point in me being here. I don’t want to die... I just wish that I suddenly didn’t exist anymore.” If you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life? “My own place. A bakery. Honestly, living above the bakery would be mint. At least then I’d have some meaning.” What do you hope to accomplish in therapy? “Doesn’t everyone want the same thing? Happiness. Pure, unfiltered happiness.”​

[/div][/div] [div class=tabContents][div class=scroll][div class=tag]Coralline Clermont (Mother).[/div]

[div class=scroll] Damien hasn’t seen her since she left, although if somehow she resurfaced he wouldn’t hold any resentment towards her.

[/div]

[div class=tag]Jules Clermont (Father).[/div]

[div class=scroll]Deceased. Their relationship while he was alive was tenuous at best. He was quite distant, and Damien practically raised himself from 7-12.

[/div]

[div class=tag]Marc and Anne Gaspard (Uncle and Aunt).[/div]

[div class=scroll]They took Damien in as their own. He still lives with them in the bedroom he grew up in.

[/div]

[div class=tag]Sylvie Labiche (Ex-Girlfriend).[/div]

[div class=scroll]The two started dating on a suggestion from a mutual friend. Though the relationship was fine, Damien saw it through rose-colored glasses. The faults slipped right by him, and when he proposed he was smacked in the face with the reality that they were not to be.

[/div]

[/div][/div][/div][/div][/div] [div class=mtwo][div class=galleryimage][div class=sshow1][/div] [div class=sshow2][/div] [div class=sshow3][/div] [div class=sshow4][/div] [div class=sshow5][/div][/div][/div] [div class=mthree][div class=charname]Damien Clermont[/div] [div class=therole]the lover[/div][/div] [div class=mfour][div class="tab tab1 chosen"][/div] [div class="tab tab2"][/div] [div class="tab tab3"][/div] [div class="tab tab4"][/div][/div] [/div][/div]

coded by constellation.

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[Jtucker19]

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[/div][/div] [/div][/div] [div class=title]The Lover[/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents01"][div class="button bone"][/div] [div class=t1image style="bottom: 0px; left: 15px; background: var(--tab1-image1); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t1image style="top: 0px; left: 170px; background: var(--tab1-image2); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t1content style="top: 15px; right: 0px;"][div class=scroll][div class=tag]name.[/div]

Damien Harlow​

[div class=tag]nickname(s).[/div]

Tomcat​

[div class=tag]age.[/div]

26​

[div class=tag]gender.[/div]

Male​

[div class=tag]sexuality.[/div]

Homosexual​

[div class=tag]role.[/div]

The Lover​

[div class=tag]faceclaim.[/div]

Chance Perdomo​

[/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents02"][div class="button btwo"][/div] [div class=t2image style="right: 155px; top: 0px; background: var(--tab2-image1); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t2image style="right: 155px; top: 177px; background: var(--tab2-image2); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t2image style="right: 15px; top: 60px; background: var(--tab2-image3); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t2image style="right: 15px; bottom: 0px; background: var(--tab2-image4); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t2content][div class=scroll][div class=tag]hair colour.[/div]

Black​

[div class=tag]eye colour.[/div]

Dark Brown​

[div class=tag]body.[/div]

Slim Athletic​

[div class=tag]distinguishing features.[/div]

Pronounced Cheekbones​

[div class=tag]body modifications.[/div]

Both ear lobes are pierced. He also has two tattoos, both just below his elbows. On the left is a thin, inverted pink triangle, and on the right is a cat's paw print.​

[div class=tag]ailments.[/div]

Blind.​

[div class=tag]attire.[/div]

Wears only black or white.​

[/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents03"][div class="button bthree"][/div] [div class=t1image style="bottom: 0px; right: 15px; background: var(--tab3-image1); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t1image style="top: 0px; right: 170px; background: var(--tab3-image2); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t1content style="top: 15px; left: 20px;"][div class=scroll][div class=tag]persona.[/div]

Damien "Tomcat" is truly selfless, or so that's how almost everyone who knows him would describe him; he has his own explanation for why he serves others as much as he does. He has always worn his heart on his sleeve. He is honest to a fault, and believes that that is one of the most important things in a relationship. He is also vulnerable, and does not hesitate to truly invest in relationships and not only romantic relationships. He is wholeheartedly invested in his friendships as well, both of choice and of circumstance. He is brave, never having shied away from a difficulty in his life. Perhaps that's due to the fact that he began his life knowing that he would always have more of a disadvantage than most. Damien has always had a generous spirit. This stems from the gratitude he has that he has been given so much, when he just as easily could have grown up with nothing. Though he grew up a part of a very wealthy family, he has never forgotten where he came from and just how drastically different his life could have been. Though recent events have caused him to wonder if that difference would have been all bad or if some aspects of his life wouldn't have changed for the better. He sees a number of these things as fundamental for any relationship to prosper. You must be brave enough to be truly vulnerable in a relationship, and that vulnerability requires honesty and selflessness. Many of these traits, however, are traits that Damien does not necessarily see in himself. They are traits that others have often pointed out in him. As so many do, Damien waves these compliments and praise off, explaining them away with a myriad of excuses. He does not see himself as a saint by any means. He is, however, overly sensitive. He knows this and has tried for so many years to build up a thicker skin. God knows he's certainly been battered enough that one would think he would have toughened up by now. But, generally speaking, thick skin is built by harboring so much anger against those who persecute you or having so much pride in yourself that their opinions of you hold no more weight. Neither anger, nor pride play a large role in Damien's life. No, Damien's response to aggression or bullying has alway been to look inward. He can't seem to take anything with a grain of salt, blindly believing anything that is said against him. In a way, many of the good things from his personality stem from things that he struggles with. Damien is extremely co-dependant. This co-dependancy comes from a lifelong struggle with feeling unworthy, feeling as if he is not enough. Even when people are treating him well, he lives in constant fear that one day they'll wake up and realize that he's nor worth it and then reject him, abandon him. Due to this constant fear of rejection, Damien struggles with being able to let things go. If there is a confrontation or an argument Damien always feels as if it must be taken care of and resolved then and there. Any contention left dormant between him and someone else is seen as him giving them cause to reject him, to leave him alone. Damien is a born motivator which oftentimes reflects in positive ways, however, he has been told on several occasions that he can be a bit overbearing when trying to help people solve their problems. Not everyone is looking for a solution to what they're complaining about. Indeed, not everyone wants to fix their problems at all but would rather just complain about them. It is not his job to fix everyone, and that is a lesson he has yet to fully learn. His eagerness to throw himself into other people's problems is partly due to the fact that it distracts him from his own problems for a while. He is very sentimental and a hopeless romantic. Neither of these facets of his character have served him well in his past. His romanticism only makes him fall in love that much easier and that much quicker, and when the relationships end badly, which so far they always have, his sentimentality makes it that much more difficult to fully expunge all aspects of the other person from his life, whether that's physically getting rid of their things/gifts or letting go of treasured memories that the two of them have had.​

[div class=tag]strengths.[/div]

• Driven • Communication • Problem-Solving • Good ear for music • Cooking • Writing​

[div class=tag]weaknesses.[/div]

• Depression • Blindness • Co-Dependency​

[div class=tag]fears.[/div]

• Being Alone • People Being Angry with Him • Finding out who his Birth Parents Are/Were​

[div class=tag]ambitions.[/div]

• Having Children • Publishing a Novel • Finding out who his Birth Parents Are/Were​

[/div][/div][/div] [div class="tabContents tabContents04"][div class="button bfour"][/div] [div class=t4image style="top: 0; left: 30px; background: var(--tab4-image1); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t4image style="bottom: 0; right: 30px; background: var(--tab4-image2); background-size: cover; background-position: center;"][/div] [div class=t4content style="right: 40px; top: 15px; width: 375px;"][div class=scroll][div class=tag]history.[/div]

On December 25th, a baby was found left on the steps outside of a Catholic Church. He had nothing, save the blanket he was wrapped in and the cardboard box in which his tiny form rested. Though he was already blue from the cold, it took those who found him several attempts before they could bring the baby inside. See, he was being guarded by a rather vicious young Tomcat, who gave the baby's rescuers quite a few nasty scratches before they were able to finally subdue him. It was because of this unlikely guardian of his that the baby was called Tomcat. After being nursed back to health, Tomcat was turned over to a nearby orphanage. It was there, as Tomcat grew older, that his caretakers discovered that the baby was blind. Despite this malady, which many say cause babies to be adopted with a bit more difficulty, it was not long until Tomcat was adopted. Mr. and Mrs. Harlow adopted him along with another baby: a fair-skinned baby girl who had apparently been born in Iceland. The Harlow line was a family of politicians and Mrs. Harlow was a rather prominent lawyer, and so Tomcat, now given the name Damien grew up of rather substantial means. Despite his expensive and private education, Damien was bullied harshly and often by many classmates. This enraged his mother and father who simply could not fathom that kind of behavior, especially over something of which no one had any control. Though Damien was always well-behaved and had excellent grades, he proved to be very protective of his sister, which landed him in detention only a handful of times. It was in these moments that Damien felt the most tied to his nickname. They were inseparable. Classmates and teachers alike referred to them as "the Harlow Twins" despite the two of them looking exactly opposite in almost every facet of their appearance. They graduated top of their class and went on to attend the same college and even room together. The college waived their policy against male and female students rooming together, though whether or not that was due to their sibling ship or their parents liable donation to the university is anyone's guess. His sister majored in Interior Design with a minor in Photography, and he in English, with a minor in music. It was here, in college, that he met Scott, the first man he ever fell in love with. Scott would have been an almost sickening cliche if he hadn't been equally as sickeningly handsome, or so Damien was told. Scott was at the university on a basketball scholarship and majoring in Kinesiology in hopes to become a personal trainer. He wasn't out, but neither was Damien at the time and they're being partnered together in Science Lab gave them the perfect opportunity to be seen together often in public. It was lunchtime at the fountain the first time a passing student muttered a homophobic slur under their breath. The next time Damien saw Scott he had a girl under each arm. They never spoke again. Though it broke his heart, Damien was most disgusted by how painfully obvious the outcome of their relationship had been from the beginning. He should have seen it sooner. His sister had. She had warned him, even. Shortly after their graduation, the cat who had stood guard over him all those years ago, Gabriel, (his family had named him Gabriel after the Guardian angel) passed away. IN memoriam, Damien had Gabriel's paw print tattooed just above his right elbow and began to go by Tomcat primarily. Gabriel's death was very hard on him, but the hardest part of his life was yet to come: parting with his sister. After graduation, she began work almost immediately there in D.C. Damien, on the other hand, received a job offer in New York. It was an offer too good to pass up. While there, Tomcat met Chris, a freelance photographer. He was gentle and kind, and the two started dating. The gentility and the kindness lasted up until Chris started having difficulty finding work. Having been together only two months, Tomcat offered that Chris move in with him, at least until he was able to get back on his feet. Weeks turned to months, all while Tomcat was paying Chris's way. Chris's alcohol consumption and drug use worsened at an alarmingly rapid rate. He became insanely paranoid and jealous of practically any male Tomcat would come in contact with. It wasn't long until the situation was no longer safe. With the help of his sister and friends he had made while in New York, Tomcat kicked Chris out, but he loved Chris, and that love was incredibly difficult to let go of. It was made somewhat easier, however, when Chris broke into Damien's apartment in the middle of the night. At gunpoint, Chris pleaded with him, saying that Tomcat was his person, that they were soulmates and assuring Tomcat that if he couldn't have him that he would sure as hell make sure that no one else could either. With no other choice, Tomcat played along, seducing him until he could get Chris to fall asleep, after which he packed a backpack full of necessities and left New York that night. The city had not been kind to him in the year that he had been there, and he was not upset to leave it behind him. Looking back, he realized that he never even told the police about anything that happened that night, and so, to this day he wonders what has become of Chris. Back in D.C., with his family, was a much healthier environment for Tomcat, however, he had spiraled and began battling with severe depression. When he started using drugs, it wasn't long until he ended up in the hospital. His unintended survival shifted his perspective that perhaps this life was worth living. Maybe there was something better in store for him...but he wasn't going to count on it. It was then, during his recovery, that he came out to his family, who accepted him wholeheartedly. He also began writing poetry. His work was met with much praise when his first book of poetry was published. It was then, at a book signing, that Damien met Conrad. Conrad was there with his girlfriend. They were introduced and Damien thought nothing of it, until Conrad contacted him only a few days later. It would seem that Conrad was a music producer and wanted to turn one of Damien's poems into a song. Damien accepted, however, there was one condition: Damien wanted to be the one to sing it. Soon after, they began work on the song. Damien proved to be a natural vocalist, and, along with Conrad's production, the two proved to be quite a pair. The two grew quite close and the production of one song grew into the production of an album. Damien was shocked when, during one of their recording sessions, Conrad had kissed him. Damien hadn't known that Conrad was bisexual, or that he had broken up with his girlfriend, for that matter. Despite his family's protests, the two were married on the album's release date. The album never really took off, at least not as much as Tomcat's poetry had, but that wasn't what Tomcat had ever been searching for. The humble tour with Conrad had been a dream come true and for the first time Tomcat felt truly fulfilled and truly happy. It was mid-production on their second album when Tomcat was given divorce papers. It seemed that Conrad had given it a lot of thought, and he had decided that he wanted children, biological children. Tomcat did too, and pleaded with Conrad to reconsider, listing the plethora of options that were available to the two of them, but it was no use and when the divorce was finalized, Tomcat fell again into the pit of depression, but this time it was darker and deeper than ever before. He rarely left his house. He rarely wrote. He rarely did much of anything, really. Life had lost all meaning, all purpose. Without Conrad, what was there for him to live for? His parents insisted that he go to therapy, but it was of little use. Talking about it only made it worse. No, Tomcat preferred to numb it all. After six months of therapy twice a week with little to no improvement and increasing drug use, his parents began to fear that he might again wind up in the hospital, or worse, that he might not survive a second attempt. That was when they heard of Sanguine Island and insisted that he give it a chance. They claimed that Sanguine Island was host to therapists, psychologists, relationship advisors, love experts, psychiatrists, all experts in their field, working in tandem on the island, and if anything could help him heal the wounds of the past it would be this. He finally acquiesced and sent in his application. Retelling his story was not an easy task, but this was his last shot. The final chance he was giving his life to prove itself.​

[/div][/div] [div class=t4content style="bottom: 15px; left: 30px;"][div class=scroll][div class=tag]relationships.[/div]

Father: Kurt Harlow Mother: Elizabeth Harlow Sister: Ingrid Harlow​

[/div][/div][/div] [/div][/div]

coded by constellation.

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[sox]

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overflow: hidden; top: 18%; left: 10%; width: 90%; height: 75%; [/class] [class=text] position: relative; overflow: auto; width: 255px; height: 100%; font-size: 10px; line-height: 12px; color: var(--text-color); font-family: 'Quicksand', sans-serif; text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; padding-right: 50px; [/class] [class=tag] position: relative; display: inline; width: auto; height: auto; color: var(--accent-color); font-family: 'Reem Kufi', sans-serif; text-transform: uppercase; margin-right: 5px; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: 700; [/class] [class=credit] position: relative; overflow: hidden; width: 100%; height: 10px; text-align: center; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 8px; color: #dedede; opacity: 0.25; [/class] [script class=tab on=click] hide tabsContent set currentTab (getText) if (eq ${currentTab} 1) (fadeIn 500 tabsContent1) if (eq ${currentTab} 2) (fadeIn 500 tabsContent2) if (eq ${currentTab} 3) (fadeIn 500 tabsContent3) if (eq ${currentTab} 4) (fadeIn 500 tabsContent4) [/script] [div class=content] [div class=bkgd] [div class=line style="top: 5%;"][/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent1"]basics[/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent2" style="display:none;"]persona[/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent3" style="display:none;"]backstory[/div] [div class="header tabsContent tabsContent4" style="display:none;"]misc.[/div] [div class=line style="top: 15%;"][/div] [div class=tabcontainer] [div class=tab]1[/div] [div class=tab]2[/div] [div class=tab]3[/div] [div class=tab]4[/div] [/div] [div class="textcontainer tabsContent tabsContent1"][div class=text] [div class=tag]name:[/div] finley kim

[div class=tag]nickname:[/div] finn

[div class=tag]age:[/div] 26

[div class=tag]date of birth:[/div] december 4th

[div class=tag]place of birth[/div] toronto, canada

[div class=tag]gender:[/div] cis male

[div class=tag]sexuality:[/div] heterosexual

[div class=tag]role:[/div] the explorer

[div class=tag]height:[/div] 5' 9"

[div class=tag]hair color:[/div] dark brown

[div class=tag]eye color:[/div] dark brown

[div class=tag]build:[/div] mesomorph - tall and broad-shouldered, with quite a bit of muscle.

[div class=tag]dist. marks:[/div] a scar on his left hand from getting caught on a fence, as well as a freckle on the left side of his neck.

[div class=tag]body mods:[/div] piercings in both ears and a sleeve of tattoos.

[div class=tag]physical ailments:[/div] minor depression, but treated with medication.

[div class=tag]faceclaim:[/div] hyeok-geun choe [/div][/div] [div class="textcontainer tabsContent tabsContent2" style="display:none;"][div class=text] [div class=tag]personality type:[/div] estp: despite graduating from university and landing a job at the u.s. embassy in canada, finn never quite learned how to behave like a proper young man. impulsive and reckless, he often found himself under the scrutiny of his professors (and occasionally the law) despite doing well in his studies. that's not to say he's an outcast—in fact, he's quite the opposite. popular amongst his coworkers, finn is known for being rather easy to joke around with and readily open to conversation, even to strangers or rivals if approached correctly. he can't hold a grudge to save his life, and that level-headedness has gotten him out of way too many sticky situations. on the other hand, he'd rather jump into a shark pit than have a heart-to-heart with any of his friends, making close relationships few and far in between. the man just can't put his feelings into words, not for a lack of trying but rather an inability to express himself in a coherent fashion.

[div class=tag]positives:[/div] witty, charming, bold, sociable, low-maintenance

[div class=tag]neutrals:[/div] curious, talkative, physically touchy

[div class=tag]negitives:[/div] impatient, arrogant, emotionally constipated, crude, dishonest

[div class=tag]strengths:[/div] striking up a conversation, cooking and bartending, navigating foreign territory, and pure memorization.

[div class=tag]weaknesses:[/div] drives like a maniac, panics if put on the spot about his feelings, bad at comforting people, and breaks the law regularly.

[div class=tag]fears:[/div] small dogs, commitment, talking about his feelings, jellyfish, and getting fired.

[div class=tag]ambitions:[/div] finn doesn't have any large dreams in terms of his life's work. he's perfectly content with his job at the embassy. his main goal in life is to learn as much about the world as possible, however, and he's travelled during every break he's gotten.

[div class=tag]likes:[/div] thrill-seeking, nights out, horror movies, socializing, fine wines and craft beers, exploring abandoned places, experiencing different cultures, working out, and digital art.

[div class=tag]dislikes:[/div] overly clingy partners, mathematics, religious establishments, law enforcement, most college kids and their cheap college beer, one-way streets, and dieting. [/div][/div] [div class="textcontainer tabsContent tabsContent3" style="display:none;"][div class=text] [div class=tag]family:[/div] finn has one older brother and one older sister, both of whom work in sales at fortune 500 companies. they don't talk too often, but they do keep in touch and are on good terms. finn's parents moved back to toronto after he finished university, nearing the age of retirement in their rather cozy yet lavish home.

[div class=tag]history:[/div] finn spent his childhood in toronto before moving out to austin, texas, where he spent his adolescence getting into trouble and making the most of his vitality. he didn't do too terribly in school, but he also didn't do well by any means. once he graduated, drake attended a community college for two years before switching over to a state school, where he studied international business and minored in french. it was at this school that he met his partner of four years, anais, and they moved in together after graduation.

they had had their ups and downs, but the two made a delectable pair. anais had studied graphic design and women's history, which prompted finn to pick up digital art himself (though he's not superb at it by any means), and the two travelled together whenever they could. anais' job, however, required that she stay in town more than finn, and he ended up vacationing without her fairly often. tied in with a rumor by one of their old peers that finn had been disloyal, the two found a rift growing between them larger than the physical distance at times.

after another year of constant breaking up and making up, of being called foul names, of being manipulated into cancelling plans with his friends, of getting things thrown at him—finn wasn't aware that anais had finally called it quits, packing up her belongings and moving out while he had been on a trip (admittedly ignoring her calls in favor of partying). when he returned, she stood in their half-empty apartment, blank expression on her face, and ripped his heart out with five simple words: "i don't love you anymore."

[div class=tag style="display: block; margin-right: 0px;"]"what brings you to sanguine island?"[/div] "i had a girl that i loved," finn began, staring at his palms with a small smile. "like, really loved. the kind of love that makes you feel like you could conquer the world if you have it." the smile dropped. "i wasn't good enough for her, though. i don't think i'll ever be good enough for her."

[div class=tag style="display: block; margin-right: 0px;"]"how long have you attended therapy?"[/div] finn cracked his knuckles, repositioning himself in his seat as he thought. "i'd already been seeing my therapist throughout college, but i probably started going weekly after she left. i lost all of my friends through that relationship, so i didn't really have other options."

[div class=tag style="display: block; margin-right: 0px;"]"what is the problem from your viewpoint?"[/div] he chuckled humorlessly, rubbing the back of his neck. "aha, well...you know, that's a great question. it's me, isn't it? she was always too good for me, always above me, always hurting me..." he paused, blinking a couple times in thought. "it wasn't her fault, though. maybe we just weren't compatible."

[div class=tag style="display: block; margin-right: 0px;"]"how does this problem typically make you feel?"[/div] "there's the golden question." finn shot a cheeky finger gun towards his interviewer. "they always sneak it in, eh? it could've been worse, i guess. she didn't doxx me, or key my car or anything, so i think it's just... isolating? that sounds emo as fuck, i know. i just can't see myself letting myself get into another relationship that serious again."

[div class=tag style="display: block; margin-right: 0px;"]"if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?"[/div] finn looked up in thought, contemplating his life at the moment. "i think i'd give myself a friend," he decided, voice soft and distant. "a best friend. i'd really, really like that, i think."

[div class=tag style="display: block; margin-right: 0px;"]"what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?"[/div] "ah, i don't know. i've got a bad way of coping with things when they get bad, so i guess fixing that. my old therapist used to shame me for getting high all the time, and i used to get so upset about it afterwards that i'd smoke to forget," he admitted with a chuckle. "it's probably because she watched me grow up, in a way, but that shit still hurts, you know?" [/div][/div] [div class="textcontainer tabsContent tabsContent4" style="display:none;"][div class=text] [div class=tag]gallery:[/div] ↓

[/div][/div] [/div] [div class=homebkgd] [div class=intro]introducing[/div] [div class="name button"]finley kim[/div] [div class=role]the explorer[/div] [div class=line][/div] [div class="icon button"][/div] [div class="pic button"][/div] [/div] [/div][div class=credit]code by sox [/div]

Spoiler: plain text since we need it now lol

basics
name: finley kim
nickname: finn
age: 26
date of birth: december 4th
place of birth: toronto, canada
gender: cis male
sexuality: heterosexual
role: the explorer


appearance
height: 6' 1"
hair colour: dark brown
eye colour: dark brown
build: mesomorph - tall and broad-shouldered, with quite a bit of muscle.
distinguishing features: a scar on his left hand from getting caught on a fence, as well as a freckle on the left side of his neck.
body modifications: piercings in both ears, and a sleeve of tattoos.
physical ailments: minor depression, but treated with medication
face claim: hyeok-geun choe


persona
personality type: estp: despite graduating from university and landing a job at the u.s. embassy in canada, finn never quite learned how to behave like a proper young man. impulsive and reckless, he often found himself under the scrutiny of his professors (and occasionally the law) despite doing well in his studies. that's not to say he's an outcast---in fact, he's quite the opposite. popular amongst his coworkers, finn is known for being rather easy to joke around with and readily open to conversation, even to strangers or rivals if approached correctly. he can't hold a grudge to save his life, and that level-headedness has gotten him out of way too many sticky situations. on the other hand, he'd rather jump into a shark pit than have a heart-to-heart with any of his friends, making close relationships few and far in between. the man just can't put his feelings into words, not for a lack of trying but rather an inability to express himself in a coherent fashion.

positives: witty, charming, bold, sociable, low-maintenance

neutrals: curious, talkative, physically touchy

negatives: impatient, arrogant, emotionally constipated, crude, dishonest

strengths: striking up a conversation, cooking and bartending, navigating foreign territory, and pure memorization.

weaknesses: drives like a maniac, panics if put on the spot about his feelings, bad at comforting people, and breaks the law regularly.

likes: thrill-seeking, nights out, horror movies, socializing, fine wines and craft beers, exploring abandoned places, experiencing different cultures, working out, and digital art.

dislikes: overly clingy partners, mathematics, religious establishments, law enforcement, most college kids and their cheap college beer, one-way streets, and dieting.

fears: small dogs, commitment, talking about his feelings, jellyfish, and getting fired.

ambitions: finn doesn't have any large dreams in terms of his life's work. he's perfectly content with his job at the embassy. his main goal in life is to learn as much about the world as possible, however, and he's travelled during every break he's gotten.


backstory
history: finn spent his childhood in toronto before moving out to austin, texas, where he spent his adolescence getting into trouble and making the most of his vitality. he didn't do too terribly in school, but he also didn't do well by any means. once he graduated, drake attended a community college for two years before switching over to a state school, where he studied international business and minored in french. it was at this school that he met his partner of four years, anais, and they moved in together after graduation.

they had had their ups and downs, but the two made a delectable pair. anais had studied graphic design and women's history, which prompted finn to pick up digital art himself (though he's not superb at it by any means), and the two travelled together whenever they could. anais' job, however, required that she stay in town more than finn, and he ended up vacationing without her fairly often. tied in with a rumor by one of their old peers that finn had been disloyal, the two found a rift growing between them larger than the physical distance at times.

after another year of constant breaking up and making up, of being called foul names, of being manipulated into cancelling plans with his friends, of getting things thrown at him---finn wasn't aware that anais had finally called it quits, packing up her belongings and moving out while he had been on a trip (admittedly ignoring her calls in favor of partying). when he returned, she stood in their half-empty apartment, blank expression on her face, and ripped his heart out with five simple words: "i don't love you anymore."

family or any signficant others: finn has one older brother and one older sister, both of whom work in sales at fortune 500 companies. they don't talk too often, but they do keep in touch and are on good terms. finn's parents moved back to toronto after he finished university, nearing the age of retirement in their rather cozy yet lavish home.


the interview
— what brings you to sanguine island?
"i had a girl that i loved," finn began, staring at his palms with a small smile. "like, really loved. the kind of love that makes you feel like you could conquer the world if you have it." the smile dropped. "i wasn't good enough for her, though. i don't think i'll ever be good enough for her."

— how long have you attended therapy?
finn cracked his knuckles, repositioning himself in his seat as he thought. "i'd already been seeing my therapist throughout college, but i probably started going weekly after she left. i lost all of my friends through that relationship, so i didn't really have other options."

— what is the problem from your viewpoint?
he chuckled humorlessly, rubbing the back of his neck. "aha, well...you know, that's a great question. it's me, isn't it? she was always too good for me, always above me, always hurting me..." he paused, blinking a couple times in thought. "it wasn't her fault, though. maybe we just weren't compatible."

— how does this problem typically make you feel?
"there's the golden question." finn shot a cheeky finger gun towards his interviewer. "they always sneak it in, eh? it could've been worse, i guess. she didn't doxx me, or key my car or anything, so i think it's just... isolating? that sounds emo as fuck, i know. i just can't see myself letting myself get into another relationship that serious again."

— if you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?
finn looked up in thought, contemplating his life at the moment. "i think i'd give myself a friend," he decided, voice soft and distant. "a best friend. i'd really, really like that, i think."

— what do you hope to accomplish in therapy?
"ah, i don't know. i've got a bad way of coping with things when they get bad, so i guess fixing that. my old therapist used to shame me for getting high all the time, and i used to get so upset about it afterwards that i'd smoke to forget," he admitted with a chuckle. "it's probably because she watched me grow up, in a way, but that shit still hurts, you know?"

​