Things you would only say in an RPG

[JayTee]

Lets face it, playing an RPG tends to lead to a lot of strange situations, situations where you would utter sentences that you would never ever say in real life. For fun, post a completely off the wall statement or question you've made in the past. Here are a few of mine:


"Jump up fifty meters to see why snow is falling out of nowhere."


"Your coworker has disappeared due to temporal shenanigans."


"No luck punching time. We'll have to try something else."


"The bomb threats appear to be connected with a potential cascade failure of reality."

 

[Captain Hesperus]

In a Vampire: the Masquerade game, to a Malkavian with a seven-second memory:


"There's something important happening, you're sure. Take one level of aggravated damage from the light of the rising sun."


Captain Hesperus

 

[ghoti115]

"Jedi don't ride the bus." It was a comment made by one of my friends when we were playing a short-lived Jedi game. This was later disproved in Episode II when Anakin and Padme take public transportation back to Naboo....


I'll share some more if I can find any of our gaming quote books we've kept over the years.

 

[KyoDemer]

In a World of Darkness hunter game with some friends.


"Of course something bad happened, you sent an atheist to church, now get me the hell out of here."


"Give me the sketch pad and no one will get hurt."


"I can not transfer files from the 8 inch disk to the 5.25 disk without melting the motherboard."

 

[JayTee]

Upon coming across two rival gangs posturing at each other: "Can I start a gang war so we can kill the mob bosses more easily?"


A common situation that needs no real context: "Just kill him/her, he/she'll be more trouble for us later if we don't."

 

[SephirothSage]

You would only say that in an RP? Huh, wierd.


((KIDDING))


In a Cthulhutech RP, on finding out the Psychotropic Drug Grenades boosted my Para-Psychich abilities temporarily.


"HIT ME WITH THE SHINY BLUE GAS 'NADES! I NEED SOME MORE JUICE TO CRUSH THE MONSTERS!"

 

[Hydrachild]

"I'm fairly certain becoming immortal wasn't part of the plan, but I won't complain."

 

[Captain Hesperus]

"Try and find a chunk of our target in all that mess, so I can bind his ghost."


Captain Hesperus

 

[Grey]

"I'm going to mass-mind control that flock of crows, and have them scream DOOM in unison from the dead tree on the edge of town."


"Just bite the kerb and think of the Emperor."


"I climb out of the crashed taxi, pick up my claymore, and fight the ghouls."


"Not getting dressed first?"


"Stockings and corset are fine."

 

[Captain Hesperus]

My V:tM Tremere after having a hand blown off by a 50-cal MG while driving in a high-speed chase:


"Dammit, and I just got a manicure! Also, you guys might want to buckle up, we're crashing."


Captain Hesperus

 

[Alexandra]

My Vampire the Masquerade games have had a ton of funny lines.


Gangrel Sherrif; We need to contain the video footage.


Nosferatu Tech; I can't - it's gotten onto the internet.


Gangrel Sherrif; Then take me to The Internet and I shall destroy it.


Nosferatu Tech; It doesn't work like that; the internet is everywhere.


Gangrel Sherrif; ....how insidious.


Nosferatu player; I'm readying my fire axe.


Brujah player; No! We're in an enclosed space; we'll all frenzy!


Nosferatu player; It's a fire axe, Brian. The axe, however is not on fire.


In relation to several characters I have played; Can I roll to attack the darkness?

 

[SephirothSage]

I CAST MAGIC MISSLE AT THE DARKNESS!

 

[Alexandra]

I CAST MAGIC MISSLE AT THE DARKNESS!

That could end badly.


We attacked the darkness with fire, and in @Cthulhu_Wakes game, light. So far, we're not dead.

 

[SephirothSage]

Well, see, Magic Missile never misses, and it's made of magic. Thus, it can attack theDarkness! I understand hte Result is a GM Fist squishing you!

 

[Cthulhu_Wakes]

That could end badly.
We attacked the darkness with fire, and in @Cthulhu_Wakes game, light. So far, we're not dead.

So far.

 

[KyoDemer]

"I am so glad I don't have to smell this, the suit has claimed the air is contaminated with flatulence." (my character in that game wears power armor)


"Tip, don't stand under the exhaust vents, unless you want to by dried to a fluff."

 

[Captain Hesperus]

That could end badly.
We attacked the darkness with fire, and in @Cthulhu_Wakes game, light. So far, we're not dead.

[QUOTE="Cthulhu_Wakes]So far.

[/QUOTE]
The entire party is clinically insane, but not dead so far.


Captain Hesperus

 

[HumanPlus]

Oof, this is hard. One of my fellow players is pure gold when it comes but we speak Danish when we play so I'll have to translate.


"I know they're a race of sexually deviant evil douchebag elves but we're practically family. I'll probably be fine."


"I have an idea! If we take a piss over the edge down in the thunderclouds, the lightning will reach up through us and activate the machine!"


"I cling to the pipe with my dear life holding the bottle in my mouth staying as quiet as possible hoping that the vampires won't notice me"

 

[solyrflair]

Storyteller in a superhero game: you come to the scene of the explosion and there is a large starship crashed into the barn.


Player: I magesight the starship.


Everyone else: (laughter)


DM: the black dragon climbs out of the pit...


Player: time for rodeo-mode (jumps onto the back of the dragon)

 

[Alexandra]

[QUOTE="Captain Hesperus]The entire party is clinically insane, but not dead so far.
Captain Hesperus

[/QUOTE]
I don't think that's the case.


But still; eldritch horrors are involved, so one can never be completely sure....

 

[SephirothSage]

Wait, is there a Call of Cthulhu game, on this Website?

 

[Alexandra]

Wait, is there a Call of Cthulhu game, on this Website?

Sort of.


A World of Darkness Mortals meets Call of Cthulhu. Two of my favourite things combined.

 

[ghoti115]

During the Hunter: The Reckoning LARP Playtest, we played a group of career criminals.


After being summoned to a house in the middle of nowhere by another Hunter, my character (the getaway driver) had to drive (Cleave with a car) through a wall of bone around a house to rescue the other people. One of the other group decide to tell me he's going to drive. I pull my gun on him and yell.


"Get in the f*cking car you a**hole or I'm leaving you here to die!" -Marcus, the Getaway Driver (aka. Getaway214)


After discovering there were dead people wrapped up in a carpet in a safehouse basement.


"I don't give a sh*t what the f*cking dead people in my parent's g*d d*mned basement are saying!" - Jules, the Mafia Princess (played by my wife)

 

[solyrflair]

In a recent Pathfinder D20 game


After a huge fight where we stunned and then knocked unconscious a major devil because we were down to my last few spells that had the mercy feat on them, I turned to the Monk and leader of our group. Of course, I was playing a NE Oracle to the Void. "Can we keep him. I have a Demi-Plane of existence all set up with cages and manacles and everything. I just have a few questions I need answered, and then I'll send him straight back to Hell."


Strange part was the Demi-plane was actually set up to capture and torture our leader's mother, a high ranking paladin who often undid my plans to take over the black market. When asked why I had built such, I managed to use my high bluff to overcome his really high sense motive.

 

[Bromsy]

"Quick, kill the old guy, he looks like a Sidereal!" - my second exalted campaign. (The old guy was not a Sidereal, he was an old fisherman who knew where an island the PCs needed to get to was.)