The Thinking Room

[Gradous13]

Hello! Welcome to The Thinking room, here you can place a question or topic of interest that you might have.


I was thinking on doing a poll for what inquiry we would discuss, I will post a question or topic, and any one else who has one can post it as an option as well for a broader selection


Rules


My only rule is this: Try to keep Politics and Religion out, If it comes to Politics and/or Religion, keep it light, we don't need people turning on another here, this is for civilized conversations...


Don't break my rules please!


So here is my Question


-Why do people get hurt when they are told the truth? Isn't it what they would want? And it even hurts those who seek it! why?

 

[White Masquerade]

• The human essence (emotional). Save for people who damage this part of their brain through trauma or other factors, everyone has it. Robots lack this. If you told a robot the truth, they would accept it and adjust accordingly. Cold people suppress this part of themselves, don't know how to handle/express it, causing them sometimes be aptly called, "robots."
  

• No. The closer you are to the emotional essence, the less you seek the truth and the more you seek personal comfort & bliss. This is why scientists are dispassionate but good at being objective; they are far from the emotional essence. Compare it to your standard humanitarian. They usually have a cause they stand strongly for and tend to ignore any information that says their cause is wrong. Someone on the emotional side may seek the truth -"does this dress make me look fat?"- but will become upset if it's not what they really want to hear -"no? you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"-.
  

• As nobody can escape from the human essence (emotional), everyone will get hurt by seeking the truth. Why? Because nobody can escape the human essence (emotional). Unless of course, an accident causes complete dysfunction of that part of the brain. Even the most dispassionate scientist, will get upset over learning something he does not want to hear, when it comes to something he truly cares about (emotional).
  
  "This project is useless, so we are cutting your funding for this project effective tomorrow."
  
• Scientist: "What! Why!? I've worked on this my whole life! You can't just cut it off like that!"
  

^ A Robot scientist would accept it and find something else to work on the second funding is cut. There is no crying. No pouting. No taking a load off. No grief period. Just, next.




****Discussing what the human essence (emotional) is, is going to go nowhere, so I highly advise against it!

 

[Jamiesue]

[QUOTE="Jager 9]
-Why do people get hurt when they are told the truth? Isn't it what they would want? And it even hurts those who seek it! why?

[/QUOTE]

❃


I love this question, or rather series of questions, and I do have an opinion on this topic, so here goes!


Note also that I'm sorry if this is TLDR status, and kinda leaning out of topic a little bit, but bear with me here. It'll make sense at the end.


*Take my words with a grain of salt, because I'm not by any means an expert on any philosophical debates.*


I am of the personal belief that every person on this planet experiences "reality" or in other words "the physical world as it really exists and not an idealistic notion of it" differently. How can we all experience the same thing at face value with varying results? Well, again, every individual is understanding and rationalizing the world incredibly differently; we are shown this of each other in countless manners every day, all the way from varying emotional responses to the same stimulus, even to physically seeing in different colors and with different filters of experience from this world.


The "truth" as a concept is flawed, even by its very definition, being "that which is true or in accordance with reality." Here you have the falsified idea that every person's "reality" will fall under the same umbrella, with the same "truth" based on the same "facts," and so on and so forth, when the fact of the matter is that reality itself is always up for debate. Everything in this world is relative, and the only constant so far is change.


With that being said, why is it then that people seek this "truth" instead of formulating their own? Something that most people share, and even this is up for debate of course, is desiring something very solid in which to be one hundred percent certain, usually because of the sense of safety brought forth from it. In a world that seems full of change, it also really seems that as humans, we really admire things that don't fall into that category of change, the idea of permanency. When people are searching for the "truth," what they are usually looking for is affirmation of their pre-existing ideas, thoughts, or feelings, like reassurance of sorts. Typically people want a version of the truth that will coincide with their personal reality, and usually since we're social creatures, we search for this as opinions from other human beings.


Pain typically comes when those two things, their version and the "real truth," don't mesh well or at all. Even if the person wanted "the truth," since that is such a relative term depending on the circumstances and the person asking and being asked, sometimes that information isn't what was to be expected or pleasant, and that type of surprise can cause suffering. For example, in my version of reality I'm a very friendly person, but that may not be true to you, and if I were to ask you if you think I'm friendly, expecting you to say yes, and you said no? Of course, that would be slightly upsetting. There are bigger and better examples, and in a nutshell I don't believe in "truth" or "reality" as concepts that we should be focused on, outside of the realms of science.


I believe people are hurt by the truth because it's not.


There is no truth outside of the ones that you make for yourself, which is innately true for everyone.


(Sorry this was so long, but this is just my perspective. Yeah. Do with that what you want.) ()


❃
​

 

[White Masquerade]

@Jamiesue


( ) Not bad at all. You nailed it.

 

[Gradous13]

both are Fantastic answers, and I agree, Jamiesue hit it

 

[CamelliaCross]

There’s a reason why this is labeled as The Thinking Room, and these questions actually got me thinking. xD And look at those awesome answers! *slumps against the corner and cries*


Okay. Here are my thoughts about this that I’m bound to toss in. >o> I am no philosopher, just a wannabe thinker in this thinking room, so bear with me. I’m gonna answer this question by question.


Why do people get hurt when they are told the truth?


In my perspective it always depends on the type of the truth that one will say. If the circumstances and the whole situation were not favorable, there will always be a large tendency that it will cause pain to the one who seeks it.


We might have spent a large part of our lives being pleasantly deceived, and sometimes, we deceive others in return, weaving tiny, harmless lies, hiding the unpleasant things just to appease someone. We lie. We sugarcoat. We hide the bad stuff under the rag and focus only on the good ones. Or in some cases, the saying of ‘if you won’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ becomes applicable, we simply shut our mouths to prevent pointing out distasteful things.


Lies provide the comfort of security, the thought that you might have pleased one person, or anything rewarding that could be felt out of such, but the truth will always remain unstable and worth questioning. The truth itself rattles one’s way of living, depending on the intensity of it. The truth usually calls for something to be changed. If not, for improvement.


And I think that it was the concept of denial that makes it painful to accept the change, or the improvement that the truth is going to bring.


Isn’t that what they want?


I think it’s basically a brave front to say that one will prefer the truth over the lies. After all, human beings built with various defense mechanisms to lessen the impact of the pain.


I am going to speak out of experience on this one. There are countless of times that I said to people that I will always prefer hearing the truth than being deluded and happy with lies. Sometimes, they forget. Sometimes, I get what I want. And actually, there are certain truths that will hurt.


Somehow, I know that there are a lot of people who had wished for this thing as well. It just depends on the person on how they will deal with the blow, if they will simply strive for the better, leave it be, or brood over it with darker emotions possibly correlated to the agony that they got.


Wanting something doesn’t necessarily mean that its completely pleasurable. Like every other wish, it has its own pros and cons. One might be free from the lies because of this truth, but not everyone is willing to face the consequences, no matter how much they would want that.


And it even hurts those who seek it! why?


In my perspective, it basically hurts those who continuously seek for the truth, out of probable expectation that they will gain something good from it, not exactly realizing that the pain that they will get was blessing in disguise.


Think of the last time when you had to disinfect a certain wound that you got.


The sudden revelation might be painful and momentarily damaging, but it prevents further, deeper lies, keeps you grounded to the truth, provides a clearer understanding and a logical path. There are pains that can wound you, and there are certain pains that can help encourage to heal yourself.


It just depends on one’s perspective, mindset, and how they will eventually deal with it accordingly with their lives.


I don’t know if I made actual sense in these ramblings, these just came out of a school-fried mind, but ok. xD Let's hope I don't sound contradicting or anything. xD

 

[Gradous13]

Really good post CamelliaCross, really enjoyed it!


Just so you all know, you can ask a question yourself! I wont always have a in depth Q, so dont be shy!

 

[Lady Odyssey]

Hmm, well, this question popped into my head a few days back, and I've been mulling it over ever since. I'm interested to see answers, so here goes nothing!


- What is the line between confidence, and overconfidence? What do you perceive to be a good, healthy dose of confidence, and what isn't?


- More importantly, do you think a healthy bit of confidence can eventually lead into overconfidence within a period of time? If so, how do you prevent it?
​

 

[Gradous13]

What is the line between confidence, and overconfidence? I personally lack confidence, and I have poor self esteem, so this is my honest opinion. The line must be drawn when you are at the point of thinking you are better than anyone else, this also ties in with underestimating anything that you do.


When one is confident, I believe that one is humble about it. They are humble because they know their limits and won't over do things. One will always look at the obstacle in front of them and decide the best course of action...


Overconfident people seem to be more cocky and think that if there is a challenge for them, it will be a piece of cake. So they underestimate and something will always go wrong because of it. They didn't take their time to look at what was really in front of them.


What do you perceive to be a good, healthy dose of confidence, and what isn't?


Honestly, Having good self esteem and knowing your limits. But having a drive to push yourself farther is a must in order to grow as a person iin turn building that self confidence and esteem


More importantly, do you think a healthy bit of confidence can eventually lead into overconfidence within a period of time? I dont think so, as long as you are conscious of your actions that tie in with your confidence. Not letting your ego go to your head, as in not having the “Im better that everyone” mentality.


f so, how do you prevent it? Confidence and Attitude walk side by side, like I said, dont be cocky and know your limits.

 

[Kalessin]

What is the line between confidence, and overconfidence?


I don't know if I can really draw a line, because it seems a very vague thing to begin with. There are some blatant examples of a good amount of confidence and some of overconfidence, but finding the 'biggest amount of self confidence that is still not overconfident' seems like an difficult task. I think say the line should allow a little bit of overestimation of oneself because it's proven to be healthy if I remember correctly. Well, within reason of course, meaning that one can somewhat realistically judge one's own abilities in regards to a certain action or the odds of a positive outcome. I think one is overconfident when this judgement is distorted by a significant amount, possibly due to not taking one's weaknesses seriously or overestimating the strengths, while a very confident (but not overconfident) person might judge this realistically but is still willing to take the risk of failure in many cases. That's were I would put a line, if there is such a thing.


What do you perceive to be a good, healthy dose of confidence, and what isn't?


I think as long as one doesn't see oneself as significantly better or worse than anyone else, it's okay.


More importantly, do you think a healthy bit of confidence can eventually lead into overconfidence within a period of time?


Yes and no. We all change, so does our confidence, but I wouldn't say it particularly leads into overconfidence. It can happen, but it can go the other way too (losing confidence).


But this is only speculation.


If so, how do you prevent it?


I'd say keeping an eye on oneself is a good thing if you don't want to become <adjective>. But of course, we rarely look at ourselves unfiltered, so I guess there must be better ways, or maybe there are none? I don't know.


Well I hope all of that made sense. ^^

 

[White Masquerade]

Good questions, I am definitely going to be a regular here.


-What do you perceive to be a good, healthy dose of confidence, and what isn't?

• Confidence, is the belief that your ability to handle something is enough for the job. Overconfidence, is mis-belief that your ability to handle something is enough for the job. When you can only make 4 cakes in two hours, (<---This Is The Line Right Here--->) but believe you can make 6 cakes in two hours, is an example.
  

• A good, healthy dose of confidence, is when you can properly tell what you can and can't do. When knowing your strengths helps people, instead of hurts. Regardless of how cocky you are. If someone is depending on you to make them 20 cupcakes by 3PM, and you are confident you can; that takes weight off the other person's mind and they can focus on doing other tasks 100% knowing you will come through. It turns harmful when you are overconfident. Not only were you unable to make 20 cakes, but you damaged your repuation and whenever that person comes to you for assistance, they will always worry about you not coming through. This makes them focus 80% on other tasks, while 20% wonders whether you really can do it.
  

• Healthy confidence can lead into overconfidence. I have faced this many times myself. I brim with confidence. Being honest, my intuitiveness and critical thinking is off the charts. I figure things out and find common threads in disparate things, that people two-to-three times my age, have trouble sniffing out. I am constantly asked/falling into leadership/influential positions, whether it be recreational, religious, home, school, work, or online. When you have success, you always have to keep in the back of your mind, like Jager said, you're not inherently better than anyone else. You might be more skillful in certain areas, hell, maybe even all of them, but at your core, you are no better. You still go to the bathroom same as everyone else, smell if you don't take a shower, can't live without eating, need friendship, was raised by people when you couldn't do anything as a baby, will grow old/ugly, and eventually die. The list goes on. When you recognize that you are still human, just like everybody, your confidence dose stays healthy. Instead of showing off, you become the piece that helps make other people confident and successful themselves. Another tip to keep a healthy dose of confidence is to shut up. Nothing will make you more worse off than talking too much. Let your actions show off what you can do, not your mouth.
  

Side-note: I bolded, regardless of how cocky you are, because, if you are confident and can back it up with skills, you have a right to be cocky. You don't have the right to make people deal with your cockiness though. Two different things. You can be cocky, but will probably be alone.

 

[Gradous13]

Im glad you like the thread!

 

[White Masquerade]

[QUOTE="Jager 9]Im glad you like the thread!

[/QUOTE]
Yeah, haha. Chances at deep and thoughtful talks are rare to me.

 

[kibou]

My answers are gonna be shorter than everyone else's, but I'm tired. xD


Immediately what came to mind for the confidence question of "where the line between a healthy dose of confidence and overconfidence is" was narcissism in psychology. Terms like "normal" and "abnormal" aren't really used in psychology since those change with culture, times, society, etc- instead, the term "maladaptive" is used. Typically someone is only diagnosed if their symptoms interfere with their daily lives either internally or externally- by either impairing their ability to reach their own goals and/or adapt to life's changes, and/or disrupts their ability to function within a group and/or interferes with their personal relationships. Wow, so many and/ors. (And it's not for diagnosing only narcissism- basically every disorder.) So, I guess I'd say from that point of view, that overconfidence becomes a problem when it starts ruining relationships (eg losing friends because of cockiness), causes problems at work or school (like White's cupcake example), or if you yourself don't like your overconfidence... although I think that would be a lot less likely to happen. Lol.


I also agree with the general statement that a healthy amount of confidence is having a generally realistic/accurate idea of your strengths, weaknesses, limits, and capabilities with enough motivation to get things done if nothing else is interfering with motivation or whatever.


I don't think healthy confidence necessarily leads to overconfidence. It might just happen to be a necessary state in the progression to overconfidence... since I don't think it's likely for someone to immediately jump from being under-confident to overconfident without being a healthy amount of confident in-between no matter how long they stay in the healthy area. I doubt it causes it. Like someone said earlier, you can go from being healthy to having too little confidence too. It depends on situations and the environment you're in, and maybe partly genetics too.


Here's two more questions. I was trying to decide between several, but I think these two are the ones I can explain best at the moment... Since I'm really tired. Feel free to only answer one or the other!


1.) Why is there a social obligation and expectation to have bonds with and love your family members? Parents, siblings, cousins... Even when great-whatever aunts that you've never met before die, you're expected to be upset. For an example of a person that should be closer, substitute "aunt" with "a grandparent you speak to maybe once a month regularly" or even "every sunday!" Blood relations don't immediately make your personalities compatible.


2.) Why do people take indifference worse than hate? More specifically, when it comes to being indifferent towards people you know instead of disliking or hating. But you can also answer on a broader spectrum too.


I didn't intend to have the Q's be related as they were conceived as totally separate questions... Just so ya know, since asked right next to each other like that, and the subject matter... Lol.


I already have my own answers, and some parts of it feel obvious to me, but I want ideas completely uninfluenced by me, so I think I won't say anything yet. ( > w < )

 

[White Masquerade]

For question one, it's a multitude of things. First we have to get clear, that society is what keeps us together. Without it, civilization/the family system, would fail, break apart, and revert to those horrid times, where every individual group/peoples, stayed in their own turf, wary of all others. Social obligations and expectations, are the life-blood that keeps society together and running. Some people take it to the extreme, but social obligations and expectations, are at its core, a reflection of common courtesy. This is why if you don't obey them, you are seen as rude. You are messing up the system. The family is a sub-system of society. If you don't fulfill these expectations, even within the family, you are, by extension of connection, still breaking the system.


Yes. When a family member you've never met dies, you are expected to be upset. If not, people are appalled. Why? You are breaking the system. You are breaking the bonds that keep family together.

Blood relations don't immediately make your personalities compatible.

Here, you're looking at it from another viewpoint: unchecked individualism. You personally may not care much for this aunt/grandpa or feel much after they die, but to keep the system going, you SHOULD. I don't say NEED, because at the end of the day, everybody is free to do w/e the hell they want. But I will say, going against the grain in that regard is not worth it. With individualism, it can't be full-on all the time. You have to pick and choose which values and personal ways are worth fighting for. For those people who don't put much stock in the family or society system (myself included), it has merits. And you know what? The world would be a really, really, really terrible place without it.


Question 2

Because lack of response causes uncertainty. The other person can't quite get what's going on, or where you stand. This is why the silent treatment is so unnerving. The other person is always left wondering. Wondering lingers. Lingering wondering is a VERY dangerous thing. A lack of closure has been known to tear a person apart. Those families that pour the rest of their lives into finding out who killed their loved one in cold-blood 35 years ago? I feel for them. Read their stories. It is agonizing. With hate, you know someone is negative towards you. You can leave it alone, rationalize, or take steps to solve it. You have a platform to stand on and options. Now, indifference. You have no idea what the hell they're thinking. You have zero to work with.


"Do they even care? Not even enough to give some kind of answer??" <----Wondering. Wondering can linger. "Are they really that cold? That emotionless? What's wrong with them? At least give me an opinion on it! Say something!"


With people you know, it takes on a damaging edge, because in some way, shape, or form, your acquaintances are on some level, invested in you. On both questions, I speak from first-hand experience, and for this one, I can say it's one of my weakest areas. With things I don't care about, I am indifferent. It has emotionally hurt people and I wouldn't realize it until they spoke up and told me about it. One case I suspect, had gone on for over a year before they finally blew up on me. I had no idea they thought certain things, or felt so deeply in a certain way, wondering why I was so blasé about things.


Even if you really don't care when someone comes to you with something, highlight your stance and why. Don't just brush it off. They'll at least know where you're coming from. It kind of ties in with question number one. That's just common courtesy.

 

[Lady Odyssey]

Here's some more questions that popped into my head this morning. Enjoy. :3


1.) Why do people immediately judge you based on what artists/bands you listen to, even if they recently met you?


2.) Why do people take it so personally when you don't like an artist/band that they like? I don't get it. Some people like the Hunger Games like myself, but others hate it. Yet, no one seems to get heated up by it, and the just carry on. Not with music. Why?


Like, no. Just stop, humans. You make my brain hurt. Why can't we all just respect each other for what music we do and don't listen to? WE ALL HAVE A OPINION. Get over it and stop hating on what music I like to listen to, okay? I don't judge you if you like to watch the Notebook every weekend or listen to Drake every day, so stop judging me for listening to a few songs by Taylor Swift. Thank you. /endrant

 

[ClaveVesari]

This thread is dope. Should be a lot more activity. I hope it keeps growing. We need a section like this in prose and poetry, too.

 

[White Masquerade]

(:3) Clave...


@Lady Odyssey


Good questions, Lady. These are tough, but I'll still take a crack at it.

• Judging is necessary in life. Speed judging even more so. Going back to early humanity, judging/speed judging, was a life or death affair, a lot of the time. People had to judge whether a berry was safe or poisonous. Whether a predator was lurking around, whether a rival tribe, or lone animal, was hostile or not. It even extended into reproduction. Whether this woman was plump and had good health enough to give birth to lots of healthy babies; whether this man was was strong enough to secure resources and capable enough to protect what he had. Nowadays, with all our advancements in nearly every single area, we don't need to worry about saber-tooth tigers, eating harmful food, or how best to make sure our offspring stays alive. So with all of these attention-sucking decisions suddenly gone, where do we turn our need to judge? Onto many things in this new age, but one of them falls in line with your question: other people.
  

• Judging people by the music they listen to, is a form of speed-judging. It is one of the judging criteria that gives the most bang for its buck. Yeah, it won't capture EVERYTHING about a person, but it's absolutely better than judging someone off of say, their favorite color. Speed judging gets you the most amount of information, with as little effort as possible. It's not perfect, but it's efficient. Now, music. Alongside things like hate and love, music is a very POWERFUL mover of people. There's a reason why music is referenced in the first book of the bible, as Lucifer's "thing." Music is a powerful, powerful tool. It is literally everywhere. It plays in commercials, I'm listening to some right now...I can't even begin to explain how influential music is. It's something that speaks to the human soul. I don't know. That's all I can say.
  

• So when you put that together with what speed-judging is, you see where it all comes from? When people ask you that question, they want to have a quick idea of who you are. Music is so deep and personal to a lot of people, that asking which kind someone likes, should really say a lot about them. Like I said before, it won't be perfect, but it's efficient. This same dynamic is why people will eventually come to ask you, where do you work? Where'd you go to school? You have a girlfriend? You have a boyfriend? You married? <---These are efficient speed-judging questions. It's not fair, I know, but imagine not being able to size up something quickly. We would be stuck doing certain things for a really long time. We would be stuck being with the wrong person for a really long time. We would be dying in situations we could have otherwise avoided.
  

• When it comes to music, for some people, saying to them, "what you listen to is stupid," is like saying, "I think you're stupid." It is that close to who they are. Let me just say, the people who immediately judge others based on the bands they listen to, are not idiots. That's just how they approach life. They're going to miss out on a lot of cool and interesting people like yourself, but what can you do? Their loss. The people who are open, receptive, and know better, will snatch you right up =).
  

P.S. I thought I wouldn't say much on one, but things just kept coming. I'll answer 2 in a bit.

 

[Archie]

[QUOTE="Lady Odyssey]
Here's some more questions that popped into my head this morning. Enjoy. :3
1.) Why do people immediately judge you based on what artists/bands you listen to, even if they recently met you?


2.) Why do people take it so personally when you don't like an artist/band that they like? I don't get it. Some people like the Hunger Games like myself, but others hate it. Yet, no one seems to get heated up by it, and the just carry on. Not with music. Why?


Like, no. Just stop, humans. You make my brain hurt. Why can't we all just respect each other for what music we do and don't listen to? WE ALL HAVE A OPINION. Get over it and stop hating on what music I like to listen to, okay? I don't judge you if you like to watch the Notebook every weekend or listen to Drake every day, so stop judging me for listening to a few songs by Taylor Swift. Thank you. /endrant

[/QUOTE]
People think music is a gate to the soul like movies aren't. Music can be deep but movies aren't supposed to be. Imagine if paintings were as big as the music industry. Like music and unlike movies, paintings (we think) aren't made by corporations and studios, at least not 100%: the artist has inspiration. Lots of music also feels deeper, it can get you to sing and twerk and nae nae but movies can't


But what about the movies that do? People are just as militant about them. Heck, rich people give out golden trophies to movies that make them cry or lift them up. Even for horror flicks people get belligerent over it follows or sinister, because they were really well made and do make you feel things


but then why do songs feel deeper in general? Two reasons, first music naturally does make you want to move or paint a picture, and for some people it feels like magic, and second, it's shorter. If you see a bad movie, it's 2 hours. If you hear a song that doesn't click that much, its 4 minutes and you remember the good song that comes after.


So it's 1. more grassroots/inspiring, less corporate and 2. deeper and shorter, but the 2 reasons after are even more important


You can take music with you wherever, and have a lot of it, it's cheap, and it's not time consuming. That not only means you can make it a part of you and it's easier (to watch a movie you need 2 hours) to do it. You can work and listen to music. Music can be playing 24/7, hell I know a dude who played



on repeat when he was sleeping. Speculate all you want about how I know that
That means you can be a fan without being part of the fandom. Lots of people like movies and don't want to associate with the people who get way too worked up about them, so it's normal to like a movie and not get worked up. For music, that only happens with boy bands and EPM, for everyone else, everyone can like anything.


Then finally a lot more people than we think try to change with music, like if they listen to 3 hours of tech n9ne theyre gonna be benching 400 or something. That's extreme, lots of people do it small scale, and it does kinda help, but people rightly take music personally because it takes them as people to different places


So its a lot of reasons but they add up. People think they can "know you" tying back to 1 based on your bands, and it's probably true that most of their best friends listen to the same stuff, and if you don't like it, they're thinking 1 of 2 things. "That music matters to me" or "my friends really like that" --> you wouldn't be fun to hang out with, especially with all of us.


Quick fix if you run into this again in my experience is just to be like "yeah sometimes, no opinion" if they ask me about their bands, and always find out the stuff they're into (not just music) before they ask for yours

 

[White Masquerade]

and second, it's shorter.

Woop! That's right, Archie! Nice POINT. YIN to my YANG.


Haha. I've taken the habit of saying I listen to, "pop and country. Oh, R&B too. Classical music sometimes, just to spice things up. But you know, when I think about it now, I enjoy rap too. Really, I listen to everything that sounds nice."


@Lady Odyssey


For number two, you have to go back up to JamieSue's post about truth. People have different truths of reality and when they conflict with other peoples' truths of reality, things like what you mentioned happens. Going off what Archie said, there are a lot more pieces of music than movies, that people get stirred over, but there are plenty of individuals that would fight you over Harry Potter or the Lord of The Rings, if you come to them incorrect.

 

[Jamiesue]

❃


Wow, you guys have been hard at work with philosophy while I have absolutely not been paying close enough attention to this;


I think sometime soon I'm going to take the time to formulate answers to all of these brilliant questions, with props of course to all of your great answers.


Plus, I might unveil a few deep questions of my own! (:*)


❃
​

 

[Gradous13]

@Ghost


for the first question...


Im not really sure on how to answer that, but I will tell you how I am about it...


A year ago my grandfather died from cancer, many people were upset about it, as how all deaths are. I on the other hand am not. at first I thought I was a cold person for not being sad over my grandpa's passing, I thought I would breakdown later...but I never did. He did so many great things for me I could never repay them in a life time. However, I never felt like we were close at all even though he was a consistent factor in my life. I came to realize that I am not cold, I am understanding and accepting of death, but then again I really wont know... I also believe that my subconscious blocked my emotion for a death of a loved one because of the fact that my mother died when I was very young and that it took a toll on me for most of my existence. My mind was protecting me from myself...


I personally don't feel obligated to be sad over a death, I am however very Respectful of that life and will always pay my respects along with learning from the experiences that I have gained from that relationship to improve my life...


reply for the second part soon to come...


ok here it is..


Indifference, A lack of concern or sympathy...


Recently I feel my sympathy level sinking into the abyss of my subconscious. The anniversary of my grandfathers passing was actually a couple days ago and it hit my Nana hard, but for the person who stepped in to try her best to be my mother figure, wouldn't I feel any compassion? It seems that I have distanced my self from my family, I dont feel the way i used to towards them. I have began to turn cold....like a machine.... and I cannot stand it....


Once again my subconscious comes into play as if it were preparing me for the death of my whole family, like they wont be there tomorrow and I will go on with life as if nothing happened... I am beginning to think I am a monster....when I know I am not...or am I? I used to always have a love for people, no matter who they are as long as they dont harm anyone I really care about. I would always get hurt by others, and I would bottle it up and wish that I could shut my feelings down so I didnt have to be in pain. I used to always be angry or depressed but i would hide it with my mask, I still have a great anger but I dont really feel sad, I am beginning to feel like Dr Manhattan from The Watchmen as in "Whats the point? It going to happen anyways". I have become desensitized...


 
just realized that I am not really answering questions....sorry, more like releasing my thoughts...

 

[White Masquerade]

@Jager 9


Better out then in, Jager. I myself don't mind.

 

[Gradous13]

yeah I know, but its like the people I really care about are three of my best friends, I would be torn over them but not a close family member?

 

[White Masquerade]

[QUOTE="Jager 9]yeah I know, but its like the people I really care about are three of my best friends, I would be torn over them but not a close family member?

[/QUOTE]
I'm not a therapist or psychologist, but going back to most of the questions in your thread, a majority of things come down to perspectives. There are many people that feel the same way you do concerning Ghost's question. Like Ghost said in the same post, there are different definitions for "normal" and "normal" changes over time. I won't say you're "not normal," just that life circumstances happened to shape you that way. If you don't like how you feel about cherishing your friends more than your close family members, change it. It is completely changeable. Explore yourself and take steps to find out how you can do so. If not, accept yourself for who you are.