Junko Natsumizaka
Just a demonic overlord studying Earth firsthand.
"You deserved it!" Adela retorted. "I was being nice to you by being by your side the entire night because you had hurt yourself and all I did was offering you to drink some water when you woke up.
And you thank me by telling me to get out?"
"I did not ask you to be there with me-"
Maybe this is what you meant to write?:
"You deserved it!" Adela retorted. "I was being nice to you by being by your side the entire night because you had hurt yourself and all I did was offering you to drink some water when you woke up. And you thank me by telling me to get out?"
"I did not ask you to be there with me-"
Then, you wrote:
"Just inspect if any of their muggle items are magically manipulated," He raised his eyebrows and looked at her as if she was an expert with inspecting muggle gadgets.
"If you can magically manipulate a muggle gadget," He referred to her laptop. "then you must be able to detect any magic in something manipulated, am I right?"
You should have 'gadgets' and 'if you can...(and the rest of Elias's lines in the part I posted here)' on the same line.
Comments Section:
Aislynn's demand for a fancy breakfast was so adorable!
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The sibling fight between August and Celeste was hilarious! You made me laugh! On a more serious note, though, I feel stupid for imagining August to find her level of devotion sweet. She stayed up all night, and you have her black circles around her eyes to make it obvious! *Dog trainer voice* Bad August! *Hits him on the nose with a newspaper* Bad boy!
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"I cannot believe that two professors were having a pillow fight in the hospital wing," Elias spoke with a tired voice, looking from August to Adela.
I actually heard Elias's tired voice in my head as I read it and I was surprised to see it described that way at the end of the sentence!
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August explaining without details was perfect! I think him offering to show Elias his memories was like when his brother says 'Do you want me to drink truth serum and repeat it?' or something like that...a bluff that challenges the other person to doubt him by using confidence.
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"I would like to have a word with you in my office..."
I read that in the strict male professor voice before finding out it was Mulciber!
Also *childish taunting singing voice* Satan is in trouuuuuuuuble, Satan is in troooooooooouuuuble! *Bart Simpson laughter*
And you thank me by telling me to get out?"
"I did not ask you to be there with me-"
Maybe this is what you meant to write?:
"You deserved it!" Adela retorted. "I was being nice to you by being by your side the entire night because you had hurt yourself and all I did was offering you to drink some water when you woke up. And you thank me by telling me to get out?"
"I did not ask you to be there with me-"
Then, you wrote:
"Just inspect if any of their muggle items are magically manipulated," He raised his eyebrows and looked at her as if she was an expert with inspecting muggle gadgets.
"If you can magically manipulate a muggle gadget," He referred to her laptop. "then you must be able to detect any magic in something manipulated, am I right?"
You should have 'gadgets' and 'if you can...(and the rest of Elias's lines in the part I posted here)' on the same line.
Comments Section:
Aislynn's demand for a fancy breakfast was so adorable!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sibling fight between August and Celeste was hilarious! You made me laugh! On a more serious note, though, I feel stupid for imagining August to find her level of devotion sweet. She stayed up all night, and you have her black circles around her eyes to make it obvious! *Dog trainer voice* Bad August! *Hits him on the nose with a newspaper* Bad boy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I cannot believe that two professors were having a pillow fight in the hospital wing," Elias spoke with a tired voice, looking from August to Adela.
I actually heard Elias's tired voice in my head as I read it and I was surprised to see it described that way at the end of the sentence!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
August explaining without details was perfect! I think him offering to show Elias his memories was like when his brother says 'Do you want me to drink truth serum and repeat it?' or something like that...a bluff that challenges the other person to doubt him by using confidence.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I would like to have a word with you in my office..."
I read that in the strict male professor voice before finding out it was Mulciber!
Also *childish taunting singing voice* Satan is in trouuuuuuuuble, Satan is in troooooooooouuuuble! *Bart Simpson laughter*