Realistic or Modern teach me how to be okay.

[PunkPrince]

Clumsily dressing herself under the dim light of the hotel lamp, Pepper turned and gave a crooked grin to the man still in the bed. She leaned over tipped his chin up toward her before giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you Monday, doll,” she purred, her boyish voice smooth. He reached up and ran a hand through her tousled hair before running his hand down to her chest.
“Come on, Pep,” he said. “Stay a while.”
Pepper smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Eager, are we? Nice try, honey. Your time’s up.”
The man shifted and sat up, watching as she pulled on her coat and made her way towards the door of the hotel room. “Have a good night, gorgeous,” he called as she slipped out the door.

She was drunk. This wasn’t surprising, considering that she was rarely sober. And she was only a little bit drunk, so it was fine. She’d only had like…a few glasses of wine. She headed out of the front door of the hotel, pulling her white fur coat tighter around her slender frame. It a bit too big for her, but still her favorite thing she owned. She’d stolen it from a store a few years prior. She would have paid for it if the owner hadn’t been so dead set on being a huge bitch, but she’d glowered at Pepper with such vitriol that Pepper had decided she didn’t care. She’d waited until the woman had rounded a corner, grabbed the coat, and left regretting nothing.

Tonight was no different from any other night. Someone called for her, and she answered. This particular client was a regular, and he treated her well. He was respectful of her boundaries, he paid well, and he always managed to remember her favorite drink. Pepper often pretended he loved her. She pretended all of them loved her.

An actress, Pepper was great at pretending. Great at pretending she was fine, good at spoiling her clients, and apparently, good at sex too. She was not good at much else, apart from pretending people loved her.

Pepper wasn’t sure when exactly people had stopped loving her. When she had been young, wanting to play with dolls instead of sports? When she had started school? Had anyone ever really loved her, or had she always been broken?

Pepper knew she had people that loved her. Eva loved her. Kennedy loved her. Jupiter, Hugo, and Ronan loved her. Everyone else at the bar loved her. They were her friends. Granted, none of them were in love with her—not that that was all that mattered. But still, a tiny voice in the back of her mind, the one that never really stopped—screaming some days and near silent the next—told her that they were faking it. That no one could ever really want someone like her. And there were days that it broke her. Frequently.

So Pepper drank. She fucked, almost indiscriminately, like it would somehow fill the emptiness in her soul. Pepper became prickly, and loud, and impulsive. She faked being okay to avoid worrying the few people she’d let in, and walled herself off to the rest.

Reaching her building, Pepper sat down on the back steps and lit a cigarette, taking a long, slow drag in silence. She remained that way for a while before snuffing out her cigarette and ascending the steps.

Entering through the back door of her apartment, Pepper shrugged off her coat and fell back onto the couch. Her head was pounding, and whether it was due to the alcohol or the exhaustion was anybody’s guess. She lay there in silence for a while, allowing some of her dizziness to fade away before slowly sitting up again and rubbing her temples.

Pulling herself to her feet, Pepper stumbled towards the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror and examined her reflection, surprised to see that she didn’t look quite as disheveled as she felt. Her hair was still in the messy bun she had pulled it back into earlier, and her lipstick was just a touch smudged.

She was interrupted by a loud banging coming from her front door. Pepper let out a startled yelp, whirling around at the sudden noise. Who the hell could possibly need to bother her at this time of night? Maybe if she ignored it they’d leave her to get some rest. Lifting the makeup wipe to her face, she had only just begun to wipe at her lipstick when the knock came again. Pepper let out a loud, irritated huff and stormed out of the bathroom.

“What?” she snapped, yanking the door open and glaring at whoever it was who had dared disturb her.

She regretted it immediately, her eyes growing round as she came face to face with a memory from what felt like another lifetime. It couldn’t be. She must be far more drunk than she’d thought. Pepper gave her head a quick shake, blinking as though the figure in her doorway would morph into someone else.

It didn’t, nor did the smaller shape beside her. Pepper stared in silence for several seconds, pressing a hand to her still aching forehead before taking a small step backwards. “Emily?”

 

[half-blood prince]

Emily didn't honestly know what to expect when she pulled a scrap of paper from inside the pocket of her white coat. Her daughter was still half asleep beside her in pjamas as she stood outside of an apartment complex. This was stupid. She didn't even know if the address she had in her hands was right. For all she knew it could be the wrong place or she'd missed him by a couple of years. Would he even want her in his life still? What if he was already married. She refused to burden him in that way, but she didn't know where else to go. At the very least, she couldn't afford to let Damien get his hands on Reyna after what he did. She shivered as she drew her jacket a little tighter around herself. Sure, that her daughter was just as cold in the autumn chill as she debated what to do. She knew Jeremy and knew that although soft-spoken he would never harm her or her daughter. Their daughter. No, she would keep that a secret for now. She did not need him to feel obligated to be her hero or her daughter's father.

She would go check out the apartment and if it was Jeremy ask him if she could leave Reyna with him a little while. Just until she could find a place to stay elsewhere. Her free hand suddenly wrapping around the locket that had once belonged to her sister. The only thing that gave her strength in such dark times as she felt Reyna rub her eyes tired. Her eyes drifted down to the little girl as she bit her lip. The worst-case scenario would be that she got the wrong address. Her hand ran through her long black hair wincing as she pressed against the fresh gash across her head. It still pained her and there was dry blood along the wound, but she hadn't had time to treat it. Nor could she go to police where they would question her for hours. They might even take Reyna from her or cause more problems between her and Damien. No, she had to do this alone...she could handle this.

"Mommy? Your head is bleeding and its cold," murmured the little girl as Emily's eyes drifted down to her.

It was the little girl that thawed Emily's neutral expression as she gently bent down to tug her daughter's jacket tighter. Kissing her sweetly on the head as she took a deep breath. 'Do it for your daughter', whispered a voice in her head as she stared into her daughter's eyes. She knew the girl was exhausted and there was little else for her to go. She couldn't go to her friends because Damien would know and come looking for her. Nor was she willing to risk the lives of them as she refocused her attention on the little girl.

"Mommy just has some business here. Do you want me to pick you up?" asked Emily softly as the little girl nodded and reached out.

Against the tiredness, in her frame and better judgment, Emily did just that and lifted her not quite effortlessly off the ground. Her lips brushed her forehead gently as she made the short distance inside the building. Her head pounded with pain, but Emily forced herself to put one foot in front of the other. Luckily, she had committed the scrap of paper to memory as she walked up two flights of stairs and down the hall. Adjusting Reyna as necessary as she found the apartment she was looking for. A quick glance around nervously before she knocked at the door hurriedly. Worried that someone might recognize her though that was very unlikely. Her eyes still turned both ways just as a voice made her flinch as a young woman snapped at her. Her heart dropped as she initially thought she had gotten it wrong. She was too late and she'd dragged her daughter here for nothing. She was about to apologize insisting she had the wrong door when she heard her name spring from the woman's lips. It took her several minutes but slowly the familiar face of her former boyfriend emerged in front of her.

"J..Jeremy? I....look I know it's late and unexpected.....I promise I'll be out of your hair...I just...I didn't know where else to go...nobody I would rather trust with my daughter....please...can you keep her safe....just for tonight? Then you never have to see me again," begged Emily as she implored the young man..no woman in front of her.

 

[PunkPrince]

It had been years since anyone had called her Jeremy. Most of her friends didn’t even know her former name. Pepper was only Jeremy on paper. Blinking in surprise, Pepper could only stare at her former lover and the child in her arms. She looked battered, and there was a gash in her forehead. It looked to have stopped bleeding at least, but it was still a pretty nasty injury.

And then before Pepper could say much else, Emily was asking her to take the child for the night. A terrible idea, really. On the list of people you should leave your kids with, Pepper was way down at the bottom. Probably not even on the list. She was snippy, cold, and knew literally nothing about kids. But what choice did she have? She couldn’t say no, not with Emily looking so desperate.

It was Pepper who had ended their relationship. They'd be at different schools, after all--they'd hardly see each other. That was what Pepper had told her anyway. In reality, Pepper had felt trapped. Not by Emily, but by the person she had forced herself to be. She couldn't keep faking it. It made her miserable. And it wasn't fair to expect Emily to deal with it. And as much as she'd loved Emily...Emily hadn't loved her. Not really, anyway. She'd just loved the mask Pepper had worn. The false idea of who Pepper was. And after spending all of her childhood being rejected, Pepper hadn't been ready to face it again. Not from Emily, at least. Fleeing hurt, but the possibility of Emily rejecting her was much worse. So she'd left.

Stepping anxiously from foot to foot, Pepper swallowed hard. Where would Emily go? She was hurt, and looked even more exhausted than Pepper felt. Pepper wasn’t much good with kids, or emotions, or...generally functioning without drowning herself in wine, but if there was one thing she had learned to do well it was take care of wounds.

Pepper slowly reached out towards the woman before her, dropping her hand before it reached Emily’s face. “You’re hurt,” she stated. She stepped aside to let the pair through the doorway. “Come on. I’ll patch you up.” Pepper pressed a hand to her head again. Fuck, she was so tired. But she couldn’t turn Emily away. “Sit,” Pepper said, turning to look at the couch as she spoke. She ducked into the bathroom and rummaged under the sink for the medical supplies she had always kept there. Finding it, she emerged from the bathroom again and moved slowly towards the pair again.

“What...happened to you?” she asked. And then, tacking on an apology. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

 

[half-blood prince]

Emily didn't know what to say to the woman standing in front of her. She hadn't even recognized her former lover until she had spoken her name. The familiarity in the voice was unmistakable as she stood there ready to collapse. Her head still throbbed painfully as she once again adjusted her daughter on her hip. Glad her daughter had fallen asleep as she really didn't need to be awake for this. She knew her daughter wouldn't appreciate being left alone with a stranger, but she had nowhere else to turn. No friends she could safety run to and her parents were away on vacation though she refused to seek help from them either. Her eyes practically implored the young woman to help her for the first and last time. All she needed was time to get to a safe place and she'd be out of Jeremy's hair for good. At least, that was what she told herself, though she couldn't help the stir of old feelings between them. She looked well...happier than she'd ever been in a long time.

Beautiful even though Emily quickly banished the thoughts from her head as she shifted her weight on her feet. She was beyond exhausted and in pain, but she refused to let it get the best of her. She felt worse putting Jere er the woman on the spot as she considered turning and leaving. She should have never come here. Maybe if she was lucky, her boyfriend wouldn't notice she had left and they could pretend things were normal. No, she refused to do that to Reyna. She had to protect her daughter at all costs even if it meant giving her up to do it. It had certainly crossed her mind once or twice, but each time she looked at her daughter she couldn't do it. She couldn't help the flinch that came when a hand reached out towards her face. A side effect of the abuse she suffered glad when the woman pulled away before she touched her face. Shame was written all over her face as she'd never feared Jeremy's touch before now. 'You weren't getting nightly beatings then either,' mused a voice in her head.

She pushed the thoughts away, but not before she heard her former lover's voice. It was a statement not a question as she seemed to have noticed the gash in her head. Shit, she should have tried to hide it better or at least covered it. Surprised when she stepped back and gestured for the pair to come inside. She hesitated as she'd only wanted to drop Reyna off and then go locate a place to stay. Though it didn't seem like her ex was giving her much of a choice. She supposed a few minutes wouldn't be so bad as she once again offered to patch her up. Not sure how she felt about that, but she relented and slowly made her way inside. Slipping out of her shoes and gently carrying the small bundle in her arms over to a couch to set her gently down. Taking her shoes off her daughter and gently draping a blanket nearby over her. If she was lucky, she'd sleep through her absence as her former lover retreated further into the apartment presumably to find her medicine kit

Jeremy's voice made her flinch as she hadn't heard her return telling her to sit. She hesitated before reluctantly sitting on one of the other sofas in the apartment. Chewing on her inner cheek as she looked away momentarily. It had been a while since she'd been treated with any sort of care. She flinched once more as the woman sat across from her and went to touch her face again. She swallowed thickly as she had to remind herself that Jeremy would never hurt her. That they just wanted to patch up her gash nothing more. Her eyes lifted when they asked her what had happened before apologizing for her earlier outburst.

"I should be apologizing. I showed up unannounced Jer-erm. I suppose you have another name now. You look good. Certainly the old you wouldn't have yelled like that. It's progress," chuckled Emily light-heartedly remembering how quiet and anti-social the old Jeremy was. Although she partially just hoped to change the subject of why she looked like shit. Too ashamed to admit that she had become a victim of domestic abuse. Her muscles tensing as she found herself starring at the apartment door once more nervously. More nervously than Emily had even been before.

 

[PunkPrince]

Emily flinched as Pepper moved to touch her. Pepper frowned. Emily had never flinched away from her like that before. If anything, Pepper had always been the one to flinch. She led the way into the apartment, kneeling in front of Emily before reaching up to gently clean her face. “Don’t be sorry,” Pepper told her. “It’s...it’s nice to see you again.”

Pepper let out a soft chuckle as Emily commented that the old her never would have yelled like that. "My name is Pepper now. Not much left of the old me nowadays," she said with a shrug. "Though I'm not quite sure progress is the right word." Was suffocating under her anxiety progress? Was walling herself off from everyone progress? Was her constant alcohol binging progress? Probably not. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just...tired, I guess." And still buzzed.

Her gaze travelled to the child across the room. She'd meant to ask the girl if she was hurt, but she seemed to have dozed off. If she was hurt it must not be so bad if she was sleeping through it. Finishing cleaning the gash in Emily's head, Pepper pulled back, her eyes still focused on the injury. Emily shrugged off her questions about its origins, which only worried Pepper further. She looked back to the child again.

"I...you can leave her here if you need to," she finally offered. That was a fucking horrible idea. "But...where will you go?" Emily had locked her gaze on the door now. She was fleeing something. Pepper could tell that much, even if Emily wouldn't tell her what. Then, before she had even finished fully having the thought, Pepper blurted it out.

“You could stay here! I-if you need to." She gazed around the apartment. "It's not much, but I've got a couch and it's safe enough here." Looking back to the sleeping girl she added, "Besides, I doubt she wants to be left alone with a stranger. She'd probably be better off if you stayed.”

 

[half-blood prince]

If her former lover noticed her flinch, then she didn't comment on it for which Emily was grateful for. She did not need her ex knowing that she'd ended up in the hands of a monster after they'd broken up. She wouldn't lie and say she wasn't hurt by his desire to leave without another word. No text or even a reason for the break-up, though seeing the new him, maybe she could start to paint a picture of understanding. Once again she had to restrain herself from ducking the hand that moved towards her face. Though currently, the only mark was the good size gash in her head from when Damien had shoved her back and she'd hit her head on the table behind her. She could feel the chill down her spine as she had to remind herself that she was safe. At least, temporarily as she forced herself to let the woman help her. Her muscles tense and every little move made her want to jerk her head back expecting to be hit. Jeremy wasn't the only one that had changed since last they spoke with one another.

She was pleasantly surprised to hear that her ex was actually glad to see her. She really didn't think she could be given the circumstances of their break up. Doing her best to ignore the old feelings that seemed to have returned to her. This wasn't about connecting with an old ex. This was about her keeping her daughter away from Damien. Nor, did she dare to hope that Jeremy would want anything more from her after tonight. They were broken up and for all she knew had moved on from their relationship. She knew she had tried though it clearly did not go well. She couldn't help the feelings it invoked having some tend to her injuries. To know someone cared enough to do it for better or worse. A faint smile on her face when she chuckled and said her name was Pepper now. Pepper. It suited her though Emily wasn't about to voice it out loud right now. She did wince when Pepper pressed a little harder against the wound than she was comfortable with. Her hand instinctively going for her arm out of comfort before she quickly thought better of it.

"It's alright. I mean you've had to deal with my grumpiness when we were together," commented Emily with a weak smile on her face.

It felt good to talk to Pepper. Familiar even to the young woman which was something she currently craved. Maybe it was that reason she had come here on a desperate whim. She was quiet as Pepper's gaze then landed over to the little girl asleep nearby. Her body all curled up in a ball as she often liked to do making Emily smile. She just hoped Pepper didn't catch on though she wouldn't lie if she came to the conclusion on her own. Though she wanted to be clear that Pepper had no obligation to be there for them both. This was her choice and her choice alone. She hadn't come here to make Pepper force to deal with the fact she'd created a child with her. She relaxed a little once Pepper was done cleaning up the wound and she could inwardly breathe a sigh of relief. The old Emily used to crave affection like it was a drug and now she hated every minute of it. All because she'd fallen for a monster. Pulled from her thoughts as Pepper suddenly agreed to house her daughter for the night until she brought up where she'd go.

"I....I'll make some calls. Maybe talk to some colleagues of mine. I'll think of something...I always do," insisted Emily softly.

She quickly stood up prepared to head out until her head started to pound quite painfully. A cloud of dizziness overcame her as she found herself falling back on the couch. Her eyes closed sharply as she inwardly groaned. Maybe she wasn't as 'good' as she had been telling herself. She'd already been having trouble staying up on her feet. Yet, she couldn't just force herself on the only one she'd ever truly loved. She didn't deserve that after 7 years of not seeing one another. Just as Pepper suddenly offered up for her to stay suggesting that she didn't have much, but she did have the couch and it was plenty safe. That she didn't imagine her daughter...'their' daughter would want to wake up to a complete stranger.

"I...I don't want to impose, Pepper. She'll be alright...she'll sleep through just about anything. I didn't come here to burden you for longer than necessary," insisted Emily as she once again attempted to stand up but once more was rewarded with a wave of dizziness. Forcing her to sit back down again. Seemed her body had been working on adrenaline until she was able to find a secure location. Not exactly ideal, but she had a feeling no wasn't an option anymore.

 

[PunkPrince]

Emily made a weak comment about Pepper dealing with her grumpiness, and Pepper sat down next to her, unlacing the high heeled boots she had worn home. She hadn't gotten far into settling down before Emily had appeared. "Guess I'm the grumpy one now," she muttered, undoing the holster that kept the knife strapped to her leg beneath her skirt and placing it off to the side. No need for it now. She looked back towards her former partner, noticing again the way she flinched and pulled away from Pepper's movements. Something Pepper had used to do, when she was used to being beat up in school. Everyone was a threat back then. On a bad day, she felt that way now too.

Pepper knew. She knew, and it made her stomach knot up with guilt. Maybe if you hadn't left things wouldn't be like this now, the tiny voice in the back of her mind hissed. She'd be safe instead of trying to run away from you. Selfish, selfish, Pepper. Who wouldn't run away from you? Especially after you pushed them away? Pepper crossed and then uncrossed her legs again, fidgeting for a moment before finally saying, "Somebody hit you. That's why you're running, isn't it?"

Emily tried to stand, saying that she didn’t want to impose, and then, swaying on her feet, fell back onto the couch again. Pepper moved quickly catch her, her arm quickly coming up behind Emily to support her as she stumbled back. “You’re not imposing,” Pepper promised. “I said you could stay. So stay. And since you literally can’t stand up I think you sort of have to.” Pepper had made the offer suddenly, but looking at Emily now, there was no way she could let her go back out. She wouldn’t even make it halfway down the street. “You need to rest. You’re tired. And you’re not burdening me. I’d be more concerned if you left in this state.”

She looked back to the kid on the couch. “And I wouldn’t know what to do when she woke up anyway. I don’t deal with kids very often. I...don’t deal with anyone very often, to be honest. Not at home, at least. We’d probably just stare uncomfortably at each other the entire time. And there’s the fact that I don’t even know her name. I’m sure that’ll go wonderfully.” Pepper was quiet for a moment as she watched the sleeping girl. How old was she? Couldn't be more than six or seven at the absolute most. Emily must have moved on quickly after her. That was probably for the best. Unless...No. They'd never even--or had they? Pepper couldn't remember.

Swallowing thickly, Pepper glanced back at Emily out of the corner of her eye. She was silent for several moments and then asked, "How old is she?"

 

[half-blood prince]

No matter how hard she tried to hide the fear that was practically radiating from her, she couldn't seem to hide it from her former partner. Despite the years apart, she could swear that Pepper still knew how to read her. Which likely would not end well for Emily if she was questioned more about the state of her injuries. She should have never let Pepper convince her to help her with the gash. She said nothing about whose turn it was to be grumpy, though the unmistakable look of fear washed over Emily when she saw the knife. It was gone in a matter of seconds as she adverted her eyes while Pepper busied herself getting settled into her own apartment. By the looks of it, she had only just gotten home which once again made Emily feel guilty about this. What did she honestly hope to get from this meeting? All she knew was that she couldn't afford to let things escalate any further between her and Damien. Reyna didn't deserve that and as her mother, it was her job to protect her.

Her head turned slowly to glance over at her daughter as she continued to sleep soundly unaware of the awkward history between the two adults. Thankfully, she was still young enough that most of those conversations went over her head. Although, she was still tired enough after being ripped from her bed that she doubted she'd wake any time soon. She hoped that was the case at least as the pair seemed to sit in awkward silence between them now. Both trying to figure out how they gotten into this situation they now faced. She felt exhausted and the pain in her head wasn't doing anything to help right now. Glad at least, for the time being, her daughter was safe which was her main concern right now. Her mind practically screeched to a halt when Pepper supplied that she'd been hit. It was a statement, not a question as Emily did her best to not look like someone had yanked all the air from her lungs. What did she even say to something like that? What could she say that Pepper would even fall for.

Emily instead chose to say nothing and tried to get out of it by insisting that she was imposing on Pepper. Fumbling with her words until she faltered just as a pair of familiar arms wrapped around her. Arms that used to make her feel safe and sound once upon a time. It seemed their roles were reversed now and it was Emily that was struggling to keep it together. Her body tense in Pepper's arms as she was supported back to the couch. Her voice going so far as to assure her that she was not an imposition. That she had offered so she might as well stay especially given she could barely stand up. Telling her that she needed the rest and if anything Pepper would be more concerned if she left in the state she WAS in. She was hesitant, but she knew Pepper was right as Jeremy often was. Damn this wasn't the way that things were supposed to go. She should have been home with Damien curled up in bed, not in the arms of her ex lover.

Not surprised when Pepper reiterated that she really didn't know much about kids. That they didn't really deal with anyone especially at home. That didn't really surprise Emily as she reluctantly gave in. At least, she would be safe for the night or at least she hoped that was the case. She had double and triple checked to make sure they weren't followed and Damien didn't even think Jeremy was in the picture anymore. So he'd have no reason to start hunting him down.

"Alright....I'll stay....I'm sure Reyna would appreciate not being woken again," commented Emily quietly to avoid arousing her daughter.

She'd already ripped the poor girl out of bed that she hated to think about doing it again after just getting there. And she had to admit that Pepper had some kind of a point. She may have been running on adrenaline then, but that had obviously run its course now. She was honestly, surprised that she hadn't passed out on her way upstairs. Her eyes following Pepper's line of vision as the young girl adjusted herself and snuggled up further into the blankets. She truly was undeserving of the young girl only for Pepper to ask one of few questions she'd hoped to avoid. She slowly turned her head back towards Pepper.

"She just turned seven."

 

[PunkPrince]

Pepper saw Emily shrink away as she set the knife aside. "For when I go out," Pepper explained blankly. "I work at night. I keep it on me just in case." Se made no further explanation of her work. Emily might guess at it. As far as Pepper was concerned, that was the only skill she had. It made her feel needed. And if that was what it took to get by, she would do it. She didn't hate it. It just became tiring after a while. Monotonous. It became harder and harder to fake the enthusiasm on the days she felt miserable. Pepper often felt miserable.

Emily tensed as Pepper caught her, but made no move to pull away. Pepper remained holding her for a moment, and then slowly, and slightly reluctantly, let go. There was no them anymore. There hadn't been for over seven years. Pepper tensed, her shoulders hunching slightly. Emily wasn't here for her. And she likely wouldn't stay any longer than was necessary, and then Pepper would be alone again. It would be foolish to invest herself too heavily. It would only hurt more. It hurt now, with Emily being here. Seeing what had happened to her.

Emily gave no response to Pepper's statement, but her expression said it all. She's hurt. Someone's been hurting her and it's your fault, the voice started up again. You were so afraid she would hurt you that you never even stopped to think about hurting her. This is your fault. Pepper buried her face in her hands for a moment, rubbing her eyes and then moving back to rub her fingers against her temples, like that would get the whispering in her head to stop. What could she say? She couldn't fix it. So instead she murmured, "I'm sorry, Em." And then the conversation shifted again, to the child asleep on the other side of the room.

"She just turned seven."

Emily didn't have to admit it. Just the way she was hardly looking at Pepper gave her the answer she'd needed. And even if she'd denied it, the resemblance was there too. Pepper let out a long, slow sigh and leaned back into the couch, staring up at the ceiling, eyes trained on nothing in particular. It was obvious. But she asked anyway. Just to be sure. She wanted Emily to say it.

"And...you're asking me to look after her for a reason, aren't you?"

She knew the answer. There was no denying it now. Pepper blinked, her eyes still focused on the sleeping girl. She couldn't be a parent. Pepper could barely look after herself. But the girl...if that was true, why had Emily never told her? Easy, stupid, she thought. You pushed her away. Why the hell would she ever have spoken to you again? Pepper went quiet again, a million questions running through her head all at once. But she didn't ask a question. She instead stated, "You didn't say anything." Why? Why did you never say anything? There were a million things Pepper could have done differently if she had only known.

 

[half-blood prince]

Emily wasn't surprised to hear that the knife was when she was out at night. It was smart...practical...the kind of thing the old Emily would have done for herself. Had done for herself until Damien got his grip on her. How many times had he twirled a similar blade in his fingers like a silent threat? Too many as she simply nodded her head though did not relax until the blade had been put away out of sight. Releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. It did make Emily curious what reason Pepper had to work at night, but she didn't voice it. It was none of her business anymore and for another matter she was hardly one to talk with her own job often requiring late night shits. She remained tense though she did slowly start to relax a little against Pepper's hold on her. Not surprised when that brief feeling of stability left as Pepper released her hold on her. 'She's not yours, Em. She's not even Jeremy," whispered a voice in her head that she chose desperately to ignore.

It didn't mean that Emily didn't miss what they had between them. She or rather he at the time had been the only one she ever truly loved. Which had begun to haunt her when she started dating Damien. Mostly in the fact that Damien had seemed to draw to that conclusion long before she had. A fact that had definitely played a part in the abuse that she suffered at his hands indirectly. Her hands in her lap or adjusting the blanket up around her daughter vaguely aware as Pepper seemed to fold in on herself. At first, Em thought she was sick, but instead, she just buried her face in her hands. She didn't know how to respond short of comforting her though even that felt foreign to her now. She didn't comfort people with the exception of her daughter despite the false show she put on in public for Damien. Not quite hearing the apology though maybe it was for the best as Em had no interest in talking about how she'd ended up in this predicament.

Nor was she ready to confront it for what it was as saying it aloud would make it real. Though she was equally less thrilled about the subject of her daughter's presence. And the story of how she was there to begin with. Did Pepper suspect it? God, she hoped not but she wasn't sure she could lie her way out of this one if pressed. Pepper wasn't stupid and could put together the math to know that she had been with her at the time of Reyna's conception. And they both knew that Emily wouldn't have even dared to cheat on her. She sighed heavily when Pepper brought up the reason for her visit. Suggesting that it was her daughter's parentage that had brought her there tonight.

"I came to you because I knew she'd be in good hands. I didn't even know if I'd find you. I didn't know where else to go. But i knew I could trust you. I was only going to leave her for the night and come back when I secured us a place." To keep her safe. The words weren't said, but the implication was there as Emily told her the honest truth. This had nothing to do with her daughter's parentage. She'd chosen her fate along time ago when it came to having Jeremy in her life. And while she would have preferred it she did not want him with her out of obligation.

She looked away from Pepper as she ran a hand over her arms deeply regretting her decision to come. This wasn't the conversation she wanted to have with them right now. She had planned to drop her off and leave to find somewhere to spend the night. Reyna didn't even know who her father was and had of just assumed Damien was despite them looking nothing alike. She was still young enough for Emily to figure out some kind of excuse as to where her father was. She tensed when Pepper then accused her of not saying anything. Once again her gaze dropped to the floor as she swallowed once more.

"I made my choice a long time ago. This was my decision. I didn't want you coming out of some kind of obligation. That's not why I'm here and I'm not that girl. I don't want money...I don't want anything from you. It wasn't like you were easy to find either. I came here because I knew you'd never betray me. It was only going to be tonight and then you'd never have had to see us again. I'm not about to burden you with my choices," she said even as a tear slid down her face as she felt her walls start to tremble no matter how hard she forced them back.

 

[PunkPrince]

Emily began speaking, saying she’d made her choice a long time ago and that she didn’t want Pepper to feel obligated to do anything. “I wouldn’t have felt obligated,” Pepper said. I would have come because I loved you. Because you were important to me. And instead all I did was leave you to figure everything out for yourself. Pepper didn’t say any of this. It had been a long time. They weren’t together anymore. Emily didn’t love her anymore, not even the false version of her she’d put on. “I...you should have told me. I would have helped you. I would have wanted to. But I understand why you didn’t. I wasn’t really great with how I broke things off.”

Emily had begun to cry now, and Pepper remained hunched up next to her. This was her fault. She’d hurt more than one person by leaving how she had. And now she was too broken to really make up for any of it. She looked over at Emily. Back in their relationship, it had always been Pepper who cried. Now Pepper rarely cried anymore. Not in front of people, anyway. She buried her emotions until they began to fester deep within her. Pepper reached out and gently placed a hand on Emily’s back, but made no move to pull her closer.

“I’m sorry,” Pepper said quietly. “For leaving how I did. It was wrong of me. And you’re not burdening me.” She fell quiet for a few moments. “Let me help you. Or at least let me try. Please?” Pepper was still uncertain how much use she could really be, but the guilt had begun to chew at her. “I’m not great with kids. Or people in general. But just let me try?”

Pepper offered, but the anxiety twisting in her stomach didn’t cease. She wasn’t the same person anymore. She was harsh, and mean, and jaded. Not parent material. She had no experience with kids, especially not young ones. She was hardly even a good person anymore. “I’m different now. I’m barely a good person. I’m probably a terrible influence, I drink constantly, and I’m a huge bitch. But you’re welcome here, as long as you need to stay.”

 

[half-blood prince]

Emily turned her head briefly when Pepper spoke telling her that she wouldn't have come back of obligation. Though she didn't further that thought any further and Emily didn't offer up any further additions. Her eyes returned to h-their little girl once more knowing that Pepper wasn't the only one that needed to be told. Not sure how Pepper would take to hearing Damien being referred to as her father given the circumstances. Despite, all he put her and her daughter through, she really didn't know any different. Thankfully, she never mentioned it to anyone as she knew child services would get involved. Luckily, for Reyna, Damien never used her as a punching bag though Emily always kept her out his reach just in case. Usually, putting her in her room or somewhere out of view from the monster that he was. It was her fault though, and she would live with the consequences of that decision. Just as Pepper piped up saying she should have been told as she would have offered to help.

That she could understand though why Emily hadn't come forward just as well given their break up. She just weakly nodded her head though even that made her wince in pain. She must have hit her head harder than she thought. She sighed gently as her daughter shifted a little under the blanket and Emily reached to draw the blanket a little more over her once she had settled back down into her cocoon. It made her smile and a little relieved to know that she was, for now, safe for the time being. Though for how long remained to be seen as Damien would eventually come to realize she wasn't there anymore. Unaware of the few tears that slid down her face as she sat there in her former lover's apartment. A part of her wishing this had been her life beside her. She would have supported her through the change. She said nothing as that wasn't her place anymore. Maybe it never had been. Once again slightly regretting coming here, but there was nothing for it now.

She flinched slightly when Pepper suddenly placed an arm around her back unknowingly. God, she would have never flinched from her touch before. What was wrong with her? The shame was written all over her face as she avoided looking to Pepper right now. Not sure what Pepper felt the need to apologize to her over leaving as she had. If it was because of this change she could understand it though it didn't hurt any less than Pepper hadn't trusted her. Emily wasn't a saint either and wasn't as straight-laced as people made her out to be. She loved both men and women though very few ever knew that Emily had slept with girls before. Her thoughts interrupted when she offered her help or try to help her now. That she wasn't great with kids or even people, but she still wanted to try. Her slightly stained face gently looked towards Pepper seeing no lie in her eyes. Would it be right to accept it though? Emily really didn't like to accept help even at the best of times.

Too proud perhaps given her own parents as the situation showed how desperate she'd been to even come here. Hell, she had struggled when Pepper or rather Jeremy at the time would offer to help her with some of her homework. This was her burden to bear. Not Pepper's as far as she was concerned. Pulled out of her thoughts once more when Pepper listed the many bad qualities she had, but that she was welcome to stay here. As long as she needed it. She was quiet as she contemplated her ex's offer and whether she should really accept it. A part of her felt the pain was deserved and that she didn't need the help. Another part said that she didn't have many other choices right now.

"If you're sure....I....would appreciate it. I'll try to help out with costs and such if you need it as well," offered Emily faintly.

 

[PunkPrince]

Emily was in danger because of her. Their child was in danger because of her. If Pepper had only been strong enough to stick things out as she had been, none of this would be happening now. Their daughter wouldn't have grown up without her. Emily wouldn't be flinching from the slightest touch. Maybe, just maybe, Pepper wouldn't have turned into a bitter, prickly asshole. Or maybe she would have. Just for different reasons. Emily probably would have been hurt no matter what she did. And both ways it would still be all Pepper's fault.

Emily flinched again as Pepper touched her, but this time Pepper didn't pull her hand away. Her fingers brushed Emily's hair for just a moment as the woman turned her head away. Her hair was still soft, just as it always had been. Pepper had always envied it, despite the fact that her own long, slightly wavy hair had grown back from being cut long before she had met Emily. Emily's hair had always been so much nicer than hers. The pair sat there until Emily finally turned to look at her again, asking if she was sure in the faintest of whispers.

"I'm sure," Pepper told her quietly. "I don't want you to go back out there if it's not safe. Especially not at night. And...don't worry too much about helping me right now, okay?You need some rest." Pepper stood up and rounded the corner into the bedroom, disappearing for a moment before returning with a few extra blankets and pillows. "Here," she offered. "It gets kind of cold in here at night sometimes even with the heat on. Better to be too warm than too cold." She passed most of them to Emily, pausing beside Reyna's sleeping form. She gazed silently down at the girl for a moment, still uncertain of what to do with the knowledge that she was suddenly a parent. She stood there for a moment before draping the extra blankets over the sleeping child and then slipping off into the kitchen.

Pepper pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water, leaning down to root around in her purse for a few seconds. She stood up again and took the water to Emily, setting it down on the table in front of her and pressing a few painkillers into her ex's palm. "These should help for your head," she said. "There are more in my purse if they wear off and it wakes you up."

"Get some sleep," Pepper told her. "I'll be around." And then Pepper turned and disappeared quietly into the bedroom, leaving Emily to rest and off to get some much needed sleep herself.

 

[half-blood prince]

She hated this. This feeling of helplessness and looking over her shoulder expecting to be hit for the smallest infraction. She'd always been the confident type and yet somehow that had gotten lost along the way. She never would have flinched at Jeremy's touch before Damien. It was all she could do NOT to flinch, but it didn't seem to matter. She did slowly begin to relax though once the initial impact of Pepper's hand came down on her. Her hand didn't move away from her though and instead began to tangle in her hair. The way they always used to do when they were dating or after a night of sex. It always soothed her and she could feel her body respond to the gentle touch. That familiar sense of comfort she hadn't felt in years as her eyes closed very briefly. She had missed this. She had missed Pepper something fierce, though she did not voice this. Certain that Pepper had more than fallen out of love with her by this point.

Her breathing rose and fell more steadily compared to earlier in her haste to getaway. She had to admit that Pepper looked beautiful as a woman, though she did not voice that. Unsure how they would react to such a compliment as her eyes opened when they spoke. That she hated to see her go back out there again. Not to worry about helping her out and for her to just rest. Hmm, Jeremy used to say the same thing about her. She was always overexerting herself over one thing or another. How many times had she'd thrown her back or pulled a muscle from forcing herself to overload her body? It brought up old feelings though Emily did her best to quiet them down. The hand in her hair disappeared as Pepper got up and went to do something. 'Probably trying to get away from her,' reasoned Emily just as she came back with some blankets and two pillows. Emily smiled faintly in appreciation, once again restraining herself from kissing Pepper as she explained it could get kind of cold.

She inclined her head gratefully as she took the blankets prepared to curl up on the longer couch than the one her daughter was resting on. Given that her daughter always curled up when she slept, it did make things easier. Doing her best to set up a bed of sorts for herself while Pepper gently draped a blanket or two around her daughter who seemed to snuggle up into the extra warmth. Emily thought about stripping to something more comfortable, but she knew Pepper would see the bruises and ask questions. So she merely removed her winter coat that she set on the headrest glad she'd worn long sleeves just as Pepper returned with pills and some water. She wanted to argue that she didn't need them, but refrained and took them gently from her. Taking them in her mouth and chasing it with water as she set the glass aside for the time being. A yawn escaped her lips as she settled down to sleep not needing to be told twice. She barely had rested her head on the pillow before she was sound asleep.

 

[PunkPrince]

Pepper woke several times during the night, lying there in silence until sleep came for her again. This went on for some time until about eight, when Pepper finally gave up and rolled out of bed. She slowly dressed herself, opting simply for an old flannel and a pair of jeans. She was too tired to put much work into her appearance, and aside from doing the bare minimum in the bathroom to look presentable, didn't fuss about it for long. She had neglected to remove her makeup in the wake of last night's events, and she quickly ran a makeup wipe over her face to get rid of the last of it, only adding light eyeliner back on again. The stubble on her face was a touch more pronounced now, but Pepper made no move to shave it. She would keep it for a while, and then shave it off when she decided it was too much and unmistakably masculine. For now it was only a shadow, leaving her gender an unanswered question to those unfamiliar with her.

Pepper exited the bathroom, silently watching Emily and Reyna from the door frame. They were still asleep as far as she could tell. Pepper wished she was still asleep. Her head hurt. She leaned up against the wall, leaning her head back and staring at the ceiling. "Coffee..." she announced with a click of her tongue. That would wake her up. It always did. She made such frequent visits to the coffee shop downstairs that the baristas all called her by name now. Slinging her purse over her shoulder, Pepper drowsily made her way downstairs.

She chose an iced coffee for herself, and continued staring up at the menu. She should take Emily and Reyna something back. How did Emily like her coffee? As such as Pepper tried, she couldn't quite remember. She made her best guess, opting for something warm. Just because Pepper could chug iced coffee in a snowstorm didn't mean Emily needed to. And the apartment had been a bit chilly when she'd left it. Pepper knew she should take Reyna something back too, but she figured she probably shouldn't be offering a young child coffee. She probably wouldn't even like it. Pepper lingered for a moment and then decided on ordering a hot chocolate for her as well as a couple of muffins for the pair of them.

Pepper headed back upstairs and slipped back into the apartment as quietly as possible. She stood there in the doorway for the moment, gazing silently at the sleeping pair. She shouldn't wake them. She didn't want to wake them. They needed rest. Pepper silently moved forward, sitting Emily's drink and muffin on the coffee table in front of the couch and set Reyna's on the end table next to her. Pepper then made her way across the apartment, glancing back over her shoulder once before stepping out the screen back door to have a cigarette.

 

[half-blood prince]

It was Reyna that woke first with a yawn and rub of her tired eyes as she slowly unfurled from her ball. Her eyes taking a few minutes to adjust to the situation as she at first became anxious. This wasn't her bed. Or her blankets for that matter as she tried to remember what had happened. It took a few minutes, but she did vaguely remember her mother dragging her out of bed in her pjs. Then coming to this apartment she didn't recognize though the rest was forgotten by the small child. Just as the scent of hot chocolate caught her attention making her face lit up. She hardly ever got hot chocolate as she slowly unraveled from the tangle of blankets. Just about falling off the couch in her haste to inspect the sweet drink. Mindful, that it was hot as she only just noticed her mother sound asleep nearby. Should she wake her? Daddy didn't really like it when she came to see him and mommy. She bit her lip and then decided to leave her for the time being.

Besides, at this rate, her mother might not even let her have hot chocolate. She didn't want that as she resolved to let her mother sleep a little longer. Surely it wouldn't hurt her, right? Her eyes eagerly starring up at the muffin and drink that she assumed to be hers. Noticing that her mother also had a muffin and drink. Still so innocent of all that had happened as she picked at a few pieces of the chocolate chip muffin. The bites practically melted in her mouth as she grinned inwardly to herself. Her eyes taking a look around the room with intrigue wondering where they were. It wasn't nearly as nice as home, but she wouldn't complain. Poking another few pieces of muffin into her mouth with childish delight as her little legs swung back and forth. Only to notice that someone was on the balcony outside. Reyna didn't really recognize the woman that was out there. Was this a friend of her mother or maybe her father. She didn't really daddy's friends all that much, but she was always polite like mommy taught her.

Her eyes glanced back towards the form of her sleeping parent and then back at the other woman. She thought about shyly going over to visit her but stayed to eat her muffin and drink her hot chocolate. At some point, hearing her mother stir before rolling to face the couch and fell back asleep. At least, her head looked a little better than before. Still puzzled by what had happened while she'd been in her room. She could hear lots of yelling which she never liked and then silence followed by a door slamming shut. She had wanted to go out and see what had happened, but mommy had made her always promise never to leave her room until she came and got her no matter what. So Reyna had stayed put and gone to bed when it became evident her mommy wasn't kissing her goodnight. Only to have her mother pull her out of bed telling her they had to leave. She liked spending time with mommy the best as she continued to nibble on the tasty treat.

Making sure to blow on the hot chocolate a few times like her mother had shown her several times to do with warm beverages. It really was hot, but it was so good for the young child as she drank it eagerly. Taking small sips as slowly as she could as she once again debated seeing the other woman. She once more chewed on her bottom lip before bravely venturing away from the couch. Poking another bite of muffin into her mouth and wiping her face as she slowly moved towards the screen door where the balcony was. Only to realize, she was too short to reach the door handle. A frown appeared on her face as she gently knocked on the door. Then waved shyly when the other person looked over in her direction.

 

[PunkPrince]

Pepper stood leaned up against the brick wall of the building, cigarette in one hand, coffee in the other. She took a few sips intermittently, glancing behind her once or twice each time she thought she heard a noise from inside. What had she gotten herself into? She'd wanted to help Emily, and she felt bad about her ex having to raise the child alone, but Pepper didn't know anything about kids. And she'd lived alone for the last seven years. It was strange enough to have Emily here, but the addition of a child Pepper had never known about made it even stranger.

She wasn't sure how she felt to see Emily again. It had opened an old wound that Pepper had thought long healed. But perhaps she had been wrong. Maybe she had just kept desperately slapping bandaids onto something that really needed stitches, allowing it to fester beneath the layers of what she told herself was a fix. And now the bandages had been torn off again, revealing that the thing had just been profusely bleeding for the last seven years. Pepper had simply gone numb to it.

Pepper hoped Reyna would like what she'd brought her. Kids liked muffins, right? And hot chocolate? With Pepper's shit luck, Reyna would be like, the one kid on planet earth who didn't like hot chocolate. Maybe Reyna would drink it and go back to sleep without noticing her. This was an incredibly dumb thing to hope for, considering that the kid was literally living in her apartment. Pepper couldn't exactly tiptoe around her. It'd make things weirder than they already felt. But then again, when was anything Pepper did not fucking weird?

Pepper jumped, startled, as a rattly knock came from the door behind her. Emily must be awake. Turning towards the source of the noise, she blinked in surprise when she realized that it was not Emily who had knocked, but Reyna. Pepper stared at her for a few moments, uncertain of what to do or say. But it wasn't like she could ignore the kid with her standing right there. Or in general, really. She didn't want to. And despite Pepper's complete lack of knowledge about kids, this was still her daughter, after all. So, after standing there for a moment, Pepper finally spoke. "Oh. Hey," she called through the screen. "You uh...you get your breakfast?"

 

[half-blood prince]

Reyna just smiled with bits of chocolate smeared on her face as she gently rapped on the door. Only to frown when the woman startled as it was something her mom often did too. She dropped her head as she hadn't meant to scare the woman. She had just wanted to say hello. To introduce herself like her mom always taught her to do. That was how you made friends, right? She gave a shy little wave as the woman stared at her for several long moments. Once again wondering if she'd done the wrong thing. Her feet gently shifted once or twice as she studied them not sure if she should apologize and go back to the couch. Maybe wake her mommy up since it wasn't a workday as far as she knew for her mother. Then again, she was still learning about time and days of the week so she could be wrong. She bit her inner lip as her fingers suddenly played with the fabric of her pajama shirt. Only to lift her head when the lady spoke to Reyna. Asking her if she got her breakfast to which she smiled and grinned excitedly.

"That was so good. I hardly ever get hot chocolate at home. Mommy sometimes gives it to me a treat when daddy's not around. He gets mad at that kind of stuff," commented Reyna like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Honestly, she had no idea the severity of the situation as it was really all she knew since she was little. Emily had gotten involved with Damien pretty quickly and Reyna didn't really know any different. Her fingers fidgeted with one another as she glanced at her sleeping mother. A small grin on her face glad to be on some kind of new adventure with mommy. Although, a part of her wondered when dad would join them. Then again, Reyna wasn't too fond of her dad. Or at least, not the scary side of him that liked to yell at mommy for things. That she didn't really like about him. She frowned at the thought before the happy grin returned to her face as she gazed up at the older woman.

"I'm Reyna. And you're very pretty," grinned the little girl politely with a small smile as she studied the woman before her.

Having never met someone that didn't conform to one gender, she really didn't notice anything different about Pepper. She just looked like a woman to the young girl as her long black hair fell in front of her face and tickled her nose. She quickly moved the streaks of hair away as she regarded the woman once more. She seemed nice enough to the little girl as she shifted nervously once more. Normally, she'd ask mom for a story or something, but she didn't know about this woman. She didn't even know her at all or why her mom had brought them here in the first place.

"Do you think I could have another hot chocolate? Please? I'm almost done my first one. And I'm really careful," asked the little girl as she shifted from foot to foot at the prospect at another sugary treat that was quite a rarity in her household. She'd had it a few times and loved it every time, it was just they couldn't do it when dad was around. That was alright though as she stood there hoping for another delight drink to sip on.

 

[PunkPrince]

Reyna practically beamed when Pepper asked if she'd had her breakfast. That must mean she'd liked it. And the chocolate covering her face also made that pretty clear. Pepper raised an eyebrow when Reyna told her her father got mad if she drank hot chocolate at home. She said it so casually, like everyone's dad got mad when they did something so simple. Pepper chose not to press her too much on it and instead said, "Your dad sounds like a buzzkill, pipsqueak."

A small smile appeared on Pepper's lips as the child complimented her. "Thank you," she said softly. She dropped what little remained of her cigarette to the ground and crushed it beneath the toe of her bright pink doc martens. "My name is Pepper. I'm..." She trailed off, not quite sure how to finish the sentence. "An old friend of your mother's." And then the child was suddenly asking for another hot chocolate, and Pepper's gaze travelled through the screen door to rest on Emily's sleeping shape.

"Hm...I suppose," Pepper said, opening the door and stepping back inside. "But a small one. And maybe don't tell your mother I let you have two. I already didn't ask if you could have the first one." Again noting the chocolate smeared on the girl's face, Pepper reached over and passed her a napkin. "And wipe your face off. You're covered in chocolate."

Pepper led the way back downstairs, ordering another, smaller hot chocolate for Reyna and passing it to her. "Here," she said. "We should head back upstairs before your mom wakes up. She'll worry if she finds us both gone." Pepper took another sip of her own drink before turning to head back upstairs.

 

[half-blood prince]

Reyna could only grin in delight as she looked up at the woman in front of her. She could see a strange thing poking between her fingers, but she didn't ask about it. She was much too happy about the surprise treat to ruin it with obsessive talking. Her daddy didn't like it much when she did it to him, but mommy didn't seem to mind it. She didn't quite notice the look that Pepper gave her when she mentioned her father to her. As far as Reyna was concerned it was just a typical day for her. Nothing unusual to her as far as she could tell as she regarded her shyly beneath her mess of hair. She giggled a little when the woman said that her dad sounded like lots of fun. Calling her pipsqueak as she just beamed a little more at the woman. She was awfully nice to let them stay with her regardless of the situation. And she'd even been given a hot chocolate and muffin which she hardly ever got.

"Yeah....daddy's not much for fun," shrugged the little girl with disinterest.

Only for a smile to appear on the woman's face when she introduced herself. Giving her a thank you as she noticed curiously that she dropped the strange item in her hand and then stomped on it. Only for the woman to introduce herself as Pepper. She giggled a little more before quickly quieted down. She had heard of pepper that you put on food, but not as a name. That was just silly to the little girl, but she didn't want to be rude. Mommy wouldn't appreciate it if she upset her old friend judging from what the woman said at least. Unable to help herself as she asked the kind woman for another hot chocolate. She knew she probably shouldn't, but it was just so good. Noticing as the woman looked over to her sleeping mother and then back at the little girl covered with chocolate. Her face practically lit up in excitement when the woman seemed to agree reluctantly to her. Insisting that she not tell her mother and it would only be a small hot chocolate this time.

"I won't. I promise," grinned the little girl as she jumped up and down in her excitement.

Hurrying quickly over towards the front door anxious to go and get it. Only for a napkin to be placed in front of her as she was told to clean up her face. She quickly wiped her face best that she could before putting it down and moving to get her little boots on. Fumbling a little in her haste before she followed after the woman to get her the hot chocolate. Her eyes taking in the nice looking cafe and tasty looking baked goods with envy. She blushed when one of the baristas commented on how cute she was. Shyly moving to hide behind Pepper for the time being at least. It only seemed to make the girls chuckle at the little girl as a hot chocolate was placed in her hands. This one smaller than her other one but no less delicious as she was guided back upstairs. She shifted closer though when a man with a big dog walked by. Quickly shifting behind Pepper nervously as she bit her lip.

 

[PunkPrince]

Pepper shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans as Reyna mentioned her father, speaking with her complete disinterest. Had he hurt her too, the way he had hurt Emily? Pepper was too afraid to ask, and Reyna offered nothing more for her to go off of. And still, the voice in the back of her head persisted. It's your fault if he did. She wouldn't have been being yelled at for something so simple if you'd stuck around. But you didn't. Selfish, selfish, selfish... Pepper sighed and pressed her palms to the sides of her head in an attempt to silence the near constant ticker tape of negativity that ran through her head.

As Pepper turned to head back upstairs, Reyna ducked behind her as one of the baristas called her cute. Pepper chuckled softly, stepping in front of the nervous child to shield her from the unwanted gaze. She definitely doesn't get being cute from me, Pepper thought to herself. And then, eyes flicking towards the cowering child, added, Looks like she did get something from me. From the old me, at least. Pepper was no longer outwardly shy. She was still anxious, but it was about different things now. Other people didn't really scare her. Not the ones she kept at a distance. The main source of Pepper's stress was inside her own head.

As they headed back upstairs, Reyna hid once more as a dog crossed in front of them. Pepper glanced behind her. "It's just a dog," she assured. Pepper had never been afraid of dogs. "It won't hurt you. Most dogs are okay unless you mess with them. Just don't go up to strange ones by yourself and you'll be fine." She stepped back into the apartment as she spoke, holding the door for Reyna. Was Emily still asleep? Probably. Pepper was usually still asleep too this early in the day.

Picking up the oversized white fur coat from where she'd dropped it the previous night, Pepper made a halfhearted effort to toss it across the room onto a desk chair. Her aim was nearly nonexistent, and the coat landed over Reyna's head. It was large enough for Pepper to hide in with ease, so it completely engulfed the child. Pepper held in an amused snort as she lifted the coat and tossed it to the chair she had originally been aiming for. "Sorry," she apologized. "Didn't mean to bury you."

 

[half-blood prince]

As she had told Pepper before, Reyna was very careful with the small cup of hot chocolate in her arms. Always holding it with two hands instead of one as she proceeded to follow the older woman even as she shied away from the compliments. She still didn't really know Pepper all that well either but somehow she just seemed safe to her. And if her mommy had brought her to visit her then surely she was okay. She just had an air about her that made Reyna feel comfortable around here. Nobody that was scary or mean would go out of there way to get hot chocolate, right? She knew when she did it to Daddy, he got mad but he wasn't here. Surprised when she heard a chuckle coming from the woman she was currently hiding behind as she blushed a little. She did look up when the woman moved to step in front of her. Blocking her from the view of the baristas who just gushed over the adorable little girl. Unaware of Pepper's gaze on her as she more focused on hiding behind her.

Thankfully, they didn't stay much longer and she was quick to get herself far from those women as possible. Occasionally, stopping to sip her hot chocolate only for the man and his dog to walk by. A far bigger dog than the little girl as she once again moved to hide behind her mother's friend. Chewing her bottom lip as she seemed to flatten herself against the wall. The only dog she knew was a big scary one that she'd met when her daddy would pick her up from school and sometimes make a quick stop. That dog always barked and was tied to a big chain that made the little girl nervous. Thankfully, she never had to actually visit the doggy as she always stayed in the car. She shivered at the memory though she knew mommy wasn't supposed to know about those trips. Her little head only poking out from behind Pepper's legs once the dog had passed by with little interest. Just as Pepper told her that it was just a dog. She said nothing as she just pressed closer eager to get back to her mommy.

Pepper's words did very little to soothe her even as she assured her that most dogs wouldn't hurt her. That they only did when you messed with them and that she should never pet a dog she didn't know. Her head nodded vigorously in understanding as Pepper unlocked the front door once more. Reyna quickly ducking back into the apartment where her mother was still sound asleep. She had moved some though in her sleep as she sat down to take her boots off again. Her eyes back on the hot chocolate as she took a couple of sips here and there. Surprised her mother was still sleeping, but she didn't draw attention to it. Her thoughts consumed by the hot chocolate that she didn't even notice when Pepper threw her mother's coat her way.

"Hey!" laughed Reyna as she stared in shock for a moment or two at the sudden darkness surrounding her.

Then proceeded to make a growl as she tried to be super scary with the coat still over her head. Which didn't last very long before she just broke out into quiet giggles once more. Just as the coat was gently removed from her head and placed in a nearby chair. The smile on the girl's face was priceless as she beamed up at Pepper with little thought. Just as Pepper apologizes for trying to bury her in the coat. She simply shrugged and wandered back to the couch to drink what was left of the hot chocolate.

 

[PunkPrince]

Pepper smirked as Reyna growled beneath her coat. “Terrifying,” she said, draping the coat over the back of the chair. “I might need to start taking you out with me for protection.” Her eyes travelled to the knife still in its holster on the end table. She picked it up and tucked it out of sight. “Forget knives, I’ll just pretend I have an extremely small bear following me around. That works. We can get you a megaphone so you can roar louder.”

The mental image made her chuckle quietly to herself, and she settled down on the desk chair, resting her arm along the back of it as she turned to watch Reyna. She wasn’t so bad. It seemed like she had gotten more from Emily than she had from Pepper. Minus the anxiety, that was. It was probably better that way. Pepper didn’t have many good qualities to give, unfortunately.

Pepper paused, her gaze drifting over to Emily once more. Still asleep. It had been a while. Even if she was tired, surely the noise in the small apartment should have woken her by now? Pepper shifted anxiously from foot to foot, uncertain about whether to wake Emily to check on her or leave her to rest. She glanced back to Reyna once, still perched on her own seat sipping her drink, and then looked at Emily. She reached out and gently nudged the woman on the couch. “Em,” she called.

 

[half-blood prince]

Reyna could only giggle a little more when Pepper said she was absolutely terrifying before draping the coat elsewhere. A grin on her sweet little face as Pepper commented that maybe she should start taking her out instead for protection. A proud beam on the little girl's face at the idea of helping her mother's friend. She liked this woman that was friends with her mother. Much better than Daddy who never let her do anything silly like that. She just had to be quiet all the time and behave herself. That wasn't very much fun in Reyna's opinion as she watched Pepper move about the living room. Her eyes on a knife that was resting on the table that she quickly moved out of sight. She knew she wasn't supposed to touch those at all. She could swear adults had all the fun as far as the little girl was concerned. Her head perked up though when Pepper called her a little bear and that'd be scary enough for the both of them. A wide smile on her face at the praise as her little legs moved underneath her.

Sipping delicately at the hot chocolate just as the older woman moved to sit in a chair not far from her. She was partially tempted to curl up in her lap like she normally did was mommy, but she didn't ask. She didn't want to upset mommy's friend and she may not even like that. She wanted to be the lady's friend and that meant being on her best behavior as she once again looked over to her sleeping mother. Busying herself with cleaning out the last of her second hot chocolate to make sure she didn't leave anything behind. Her head turned when Pepper moved to rouse Emily from her sleep. At first, there was nothing, but then she did start to stir a little much to the relief of the little girl. She might have wiggled herself down from her chair, but was happy to just sit there as Emily jerked awake at first not remembering what had happened. Only to flinch when she noticed the shadow over her before she spotted Pepper hovering. She quickly dropped her head and looked away.

"Morning mommy," replied the little girl like her mother hadn't just panicked for a moment there.

"Mmm...morning," groaned Emily as she sunk into the sheets when her head decided to split in two.

Only to notice the coffee and muffin nearby that was presumably for her though she did not have the energy to eat it. Her memory slowly trickled in like water as she reached up to touch the cut making her wince. It hadn't bled again last night at least as she yawned softly. Her eyes then shifted to Pepper appreciatively and then to her chocolate faced daughter who made her way over. Just about jumping on Emily's battered body in her haste to see her.

"Well someone's had a good morning at least. Did you at least, thank Pepper?" asked Emily softly as she ran a hand through her daughter's hair. Glad she had the day off from work as she was certain Damien would be looking for her. Only half-heartedly listening to her daughter talk about Pepper throwing her coat on her by accident and how she might be scarier than a knife. Emily had to flinch at that though she did not say anything more on the subject as Reyna only then quickly muttered a couple thank yous to Pepper behind her.

"I hope she wasn't any trouble."

"I wasn't. I was good girl like always," insisted the little girl proudly as she too eyed the untouched muffin.

 

[PunkPrince]

Pepper stepped back as Emily stirred, breathing a small, quiet sigh of relief. Good. She was all right. Or, as all right as she could be given the circumstances. The woman flinched slightly as she regained consciousness, and Pepper quickly lowered her hand. "It's just me," Pepper said quickly. "I didn't mean to startle you. You'd just been asleep for so long, I was starting to worry." What would she have done if Emily hadn't woken up? Pepper shifted slightly on her feet. Best not to think about it now. Emily was all right, and that was all that mattered for the time being.

Seeing Emily wince, Pepper turned back towards her purse and offered the painkillers again. “Feeling any better?” she asked gently as Emily sat up. "I have more medicine if you need it. Her eyes flicked back to Reyna as Emily asked if she’d at least remembered to thank her. “She did,” Pepper assured her. “And she wasn’t any trouble. She was on her best behavior. I took her on a coffee run. I didn't want to disturb you." Pepper set her drink to the side as she spoke.

“I got you a muffin and some coffee,” Pepper said to Emily, wincing slightly as she watched Reyna jump onto Emily's battered form. She opened her mouth to remind the girl to be careful, but quickly stopped herself. Reyna might be her daughter too, but Emily was the one who had spent the last seven years raising her. It didn't feel right for Pepper to suddenly start correcting her, no matter how gentle she tried to be about it. And aside from that, it just made Pepper feel awkward and clumsy, like she was struggling to poorly mimic what somebody else was meant to do.

"I couldn’t remember how you liked your coffee so I just gave it my best guess.” She caught sight of Reyna eying the untouched muffin and then added, "You've had yours." And an extra hot chocolate too, but that's our secret. And then to Emily, she said, "She had a muffin and some hot chocolate. I didn't think she needed any coffee."