Other Siblings: is this accurate?

[j.e.s.t.e.r]

hopefully this is the correct section for this
I am in the midst of writing a book, which has a scene of siblings fighting. I myself have no siblings, so I wanted to make sure this was accurate.

Spoiler: the scene

“Shouldn’t we stop and try to think about this?” Ash recommends, to which I nod. “Alright, well do you have any ideas?” I asked. He shrugged and sat down, which I followed. I looked at Ash, seeing him lost in thought. “Do you know anything at all about how to survive out here?” He asked, shivering. I held onto him. “No, we have lived in the city our entire life. Why would you expect me to know?” He wrestled his way out of my grip. “Then why did you bring us into the middle of a forest?” He asked me. “Did you want to die out there?” He hangs his head. “No..but..”

 

[Len Auphydas]

Theres all manner of siblings in existance, some of which certainly get along much more than others. If it was my own 'siblings' I would say that this is probably much less aggressive, if they were arguing I wouldnt see them agreeing on basically anything and probably shouting ridiculous insults at eachother at the top of their lungs. But my cousin for instance certainly has a different relation with their siblings so, its probably a matter of what you wanted to portray their relationship as, its not like all siblings are going to be the same. Do they have a mostly healthy relationship or do they bicker alot? If its the former then its probably fine, just some light criticizing. If its the latter, then I'd probably make them more aggressive and less understandable or reasonable.

 

[j.e.s.t.e.r]

Theres all manner of siblings in existance, some of which certainly get along much more than others. If it was my own 'siblings' I would say that this is probably much less aggressive, if they were arguing I wouldnt see them agreeing on basically anything and probably shouting ridiculous insults at eachother at the top of their lungs. But my cousin for instance certainly has a different relation with their siblings so, its probably a matter of what you wanted to portray their relationship as, its not like all siblings are going to be the same. Do they have a mostly healthy relationship or do they bicker alot? If its the former then its probably fine, just some light criticizing. If its the latter, then I'd probably make them more aggressive and less understandable or reasonable.

problem is that I don't know, Ash dies pretty early on but I mean, they are trapped in the woods together, so their relationship has a lot of trust. I guess they tolerate each other, but it's mostly healthy.

 

[Len Auphydas]

Hahahahaha
Inevitable. Indomitable. It is the siblicide! Sorry, thats a bit of an inside joke about how incredibly frequent it is for stories featuring siblings to kill one off immediately.

It sounds fine then though. I guess I'd say probably make it a bit more snarky, if you wanted it to feel more like siblings, but I wouldn't say it stands out as wrong or anything.

 

[j.e.s.t.e.r]

Hahahahaha
Inevitable. Indomitable. It is the siblicide! Sorry, thats a bit of an inside joke about how incredibly frequent it is for stories featuring siblings to kill one off immediately.

bruh I'm sorry

It sounds fine then though. I guess I'd say probably make it a bit more snarky, if you wanted it to feel more like siblings, but I wouldn't say it stands out as wrong or anything.

ok thanks

 

[j.e.s.t.e.r]

Len Auphydas
would you like it if Mere (another of the main characters) finds their brother/sister?"

 

[Len Auphydas]

I mean, I wasn't complaining, I just think it's funny cause its such a widespread cliche that I think most people arent aware of because they dont pay attention to that sort of thing. If they are alive usually it ends worse for them anyways. But if you arent planning anything awful to happen then by all means, I am a big fan of when siblings get to be together and not dead or worse.

 

[Idea]

As far as siblings go, from my experience with my own siblings and my friends, I think it works. As Len Auphydas mentioned there's all kinds of siblings out there and ultimately people are individuals who are going to have different dynamics and ways of being with others, sibling or otherwise. The only thing I get the impression of is that Ash is the youngest given how the scene is portrayed, which naturally I lack the context to know if it's true.

In any case, I think a more serious concern is the lack of paragraphs and the abundance of repetitions like "(person) asked" so close together. It would be best to try to vary the language (and in some cases you can just not say anything after the dialogue, and you really should avoid having more than one character having dialogue in the same paragraph.