Idea Shatter, an RP idea (looking for critique and suggestions)

[Selee-01]

Once, this world was wonderful. The power of light was used to cultivate crops, build cities, ward off illness and even bring the dead back to life. Men had perfect, needless bodies, ever in communion with each other no matter how far away. It was an age of unity, of light and fire, when the Goddess bestowed favor freely and all men were held equal.

But then the Night came, and the war broke out. Men fought men, and abused their powers to control and destroy. Those who were favored by the Goddess were massacred, dark rites performed and things created. Death and disease became endemic, and in Her sorrow the Goddess knew mankind had failed. She, the boundless Creator, took Her power from the world... before thrusting it back. Rivers of flame and molten metal rushed forth in a great torrent, devouring all the beauty of the earth and darkening the sky. In its wake, men were made mortal and weak, their communion broken. The Goddess sacrificed Her remaining power to seal away the greatest monstrosities and demons in a blaze of light and smoke, and vanished from the world. All She left was a scattering of golden shards, Her blood, and those shards fell everywhere...

You are among the few people with a fragment of the Goddess in your flesh. You bear immense power, if only you learn to use it.

_________
Essentially, this is a post-apocalyptic setting of sorts ruled by ashes and the few humans with power.

 

[StAmuriah]

So first off, fun setting! Creation lore is always more fun when you can interact with it! I like that by making this monotheistic it makes the plot that much less complicated. HOWEVER that is exactly what makes the issues more glaring. Which aren't that big to begin with.

I feel you just need to clear up a few details. Namely:
-When Night came why did war suddenly break out?
-What powers did man have over one another if prior to the coming of night all men were held equal in favor?
-That end if all were in favor prior to this wouldn't that mean everyone was a target?
-Who was targeting them if everyone is a target?
-What good would it do to learn how to utilize the power bestowed upon any one character if there is no endgame?
-Is the restoration of the goddess the endgame?
-If so, why if she did what she did for a reason? Wouldn't you be undoing her task as if she didn't know better?

These are all nit-picky questions, but I think they should be considered. I think what you're missing is an inciting conflict that the coming of night would actually would have had to produce or at the very least coenside with in order to validate all the carnage. Dare I say this needs to be a tad bit more complicated. Why did the bad things happen and what makes them bad? You answer that and I'm sure the rest will fall into place.