Other Self.

[norway]

What was the/a moment in your life where you learned the most about yourself?


A moment of definition, where your passion was ignited, where it finally felt right to be doing this, or that you belonged here or that all other aspects were neigh comparable to what had just hit you. Something incredible? Something tragic? Something terrifying? Was it a moment of bravery, or a much needed trip far away from everything you knew? Or nothing so cliche, you just had an epiphany during that third bowl of ice cream, or watching a cat eat a mouse, maybe hanging in the outhouse?


Genuine question, folks. Deep in thought today and I want to know how and if one goes from a blob to an individual. 

 

[cokemonster]

I don't think I've had that epiphany of: "Yeah, yeah this feels right." If I did, I'd definitely have more direction at the moment. Closest I've come to a moment like that was playing in a large orchestra in highschool after barely meeting the standard. The music was just all around me. I had the best seat. Sadly, I was garbage at cello, so I kept to reality and didn't let that moment decide my life. I just enjoyed it for what it was

 

[Ganta]

When I constantly; felt energies everywhere and then all of sudden for 3 seconds or more I was out of my body and then people looked at me crazy. As time went by, I struggle to maintain myself, fallen into depression and wonder why the fuck am I still breathing. Several suicide attempts, but I started to open my eyes and realize I have inner strength that people today disregard it as nothing but false and psychological illness. Which is utter bs. 
​

 
​

I SEEN GHOSTS, DEMONS, AND ALL THESE SPIRITUALNESS. 
​

i STILL REALIZE TODAY, THAT MY FRIENDS are complete idiots and with a cringe raging in my heart I care not for them.
​

I KNOW TOO MUCH FOR MY OWN GOOD and then people just shrug it off and then move on to typically things.
​

 
​

Zodiacs signs helped, they resonated with me, I indeed enjoy nature and I just always questioned everything.
​

Then I came to a general understanding that everyone is closed, and to me thinking outside the barrier comforts me to know that we are not alone and we will never be alone.
​

Now I just rage away my frustration on humanity.
​

 

[norway]

@cokemonster very profound. I'm never really exposed to the idea of just enjoying something instead of making it definitive. Do you pursue music anymore?


@Ganta I relate with the raging. depression is crippling and I'm sorry to say it's closer to me than my own shadow, I feel for you my friend. Thanks for sharing you two!

 

[Ganta]

Frustrated is everywhere..............[ summons vengeance] KILL IT WITH FIST.

 

[DisneyGirl]

As for me, it's been a journey filled with little moments. Simple stuff like watching a good movie or losing myself in a good piece of writing has confirmed that storytelling is my passion; but it's far from my identity because to put your identity in terms such as "artist" or "gymnast" or "writer" as most of society does doesn't even cover it because you are so much more than just that. Your life can go on without these things and your life has purpose even without these things. I don't think all people are going to have that "moment my life began" thing that people talk about in memoirs and on talent shows. And that's okay. 


If I had to base my whole identity on one thing it would be love. My life feels most alive when I'm loving someone, whether it's comforting a friend or hugging a child when they're crying. That's when I feel like this is right, this is where I belong. That's when I feel most alive. If I can be the girl who loves someone who thought that nobody loved them, then I am more than happy with that identity. 

 

[cokemonster]

@Usopp Nope, but almost as soon as I wrote that, I remembered that I still want to learn the piano before I die and looked up some keyboards. Suckers range from $100-$3999,99. I guess a beginner's keyboard at 99.99 is actually a good deal, but it'll still take some budgeting before I go for it. Thanks for making me recall that.


I agree with Dinini on that whole, life is a more complex deal. I can think of several small moments that changed my view on things only minutely. And I have no idea what Ganta is saying and can't relate at all. Like:

Frustrated is everywhere..............[ summons vengeance] KILL IT WITH FIST.

Is this profound poetry? Is it coordinated gibberish? wtf m8.

 

[glowworms]

Probably when mom got me drunk and I got introspective in a way where I couldn't hold back admitting Some Stuff.

 

[norway]

As for me, it's been a journey filled with little moments. Simple stuff like watching a good movie or losing myself in a good piece of writing has confirmed that storytelling is my passion; but it's far from my identity because to put your identity in terms such as "artist" or "gymnast" or "writer" as most of society does doesn't even cover it because you are so much more than just that. Your life can go on without these things and your life has purpose even without these things. I don't think all people are going to have that "moment my life began" thing that people talk about in memoirs and on talent shows. And that's okay. 


If I had to base my whole identity on one thing it would be love. My life feels most alive when I'm loving someone, whether it's comforting a friend or hugging a child when they're crying. That's when I feel like this is right, this is where I belong. That's when I feel most alive. If I can be the girl who loves someone who thought that nobody loved them, then I am more than happy with that identity. 

Fell asleep before I could respond, thanks Dinini! You're right on, appreciate the share. You are a superb story teller ^^ And a stellar friend. 

@Usopp Nope, but almost as soon as I wrote that, I remembered that I still want to learn the piano before I die and looked up some keyboards. Suckers range from $100-$3999,99. I guess a beginner's keyboard at 99.99 is actually a good deal, but it'll still take some budgeting before I go for it. Thanks for making me recall that.


I agree with Dinini on that whole, life is a more complex deal. I can think of several small moments that changed my view on things only minutely. And I have no idea what Ganta is saying and can't relate at all. Like:


Is this profound poetry? Is it coordinated gibberish? wtf m8.

I didn't really understand either I just don't want to ignore anyone


I got the beginners keyboard, was a huge chunk of money and I can only play by ear, but yeah, go for it! Never too late. I think. 


Life is more complex. I just like the occasional cheat sheet and keep getting reminded there aren't any

 

[Artificial Sugar]

As lame as it is, I don't think I've had a "moment". I think it just happened. I've realized a lot about myself the past year or so, I definitely have changed my mind on so many things, and opened up a lot more. I'm not so judgy and "things are black or white". I see a lot of grey, and I feel a lot more calm and less angry all the time. 


Of course, depression kicks in still, and that sucks a lot, but


I think maybe it was also more like "moments" in my life- just dealing with dumb things as a teenager, losing close friends and ex boyfriends, having a lot of heart ache and realizing that I was going to be fine on my own. I finally realized one day that it's absolutely not the end of the world if you aren't in love with someone, or if you're alone. You can live- you'll be fine. I realized that I'm stronger than I ever thought possible, and that even if I have no one else, I have myself, and that is enough. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and I want to live. When I was a teenager, I was constantly suicidal and thought life was meaningless, but as I've gotten older, I realize that I want to live more than anything. There's so much to experience and so much to do, I don't have time to die, lmao. I started actually doing things, trying new things, I began doing more art and thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. I realized that art is my passion, but I also want to learn more, I want to travel and just enjoy life for what it is. I don't know where I'm going, but I know that I'm excited (for the most part) for the future, and what may happen. I'm not as scared as I used to be.


Damn that was long and emotional and i'm so sorry..it kind went off track too,,,, i ramble 

 

[norway]

As lame as it is, I don't think I've had a "moment". I think it just happened. I've realized a lot about myself the past year or so, I definitely have changed my mind on so many things, and opened up a lot more. I'm not so judgy and "things are black or white". I see a lot of grey, and I feel a lot more calm and less angry all the time. 


Of course, depression kicks in still, and that sucks a lot, but


I think maybe it was also more like "moments" in my life- just dealing with dumb things as a teenager, losing close friends and ex boyfriends, having a lot of heart ache and realizing that I was going to be fine on my own. I finally realized one day that it's absolutely not the end of the world if you aren't in love with someone, or if you're alone. You can live- you'll be fine. I realized that I'm stronger than I ever thought possible, and that even if I have no one else, I have myself, and that is enough. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and I want to live. When I was a teenager, I was constantly suicidal and thought life was meaningless, but as I've gotten older, I realize that I want to live more than anything. There's so much to experience and so much to do, I don't have time to die, lmao. I started actually doing things, trying new things, I began doing more art and thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. I realized that art is my passion, but I also want to learn more, I want to travel and just enjoy life for what it is. I don't know where I'm going, but I know that I'm excited (for the most part) for the future, and what may happen. I'm not as scared as I used to be.


Damn that was long and emotional and i'm so sorry..it kind went off track too,,,, i ramble 

I actually teared up during your ramble, don't apologize & thank you so much. I am so happy you are alive and that you've shared this because I feel like that so much, and I'm just letting in sink in that it's a teenage thing and things WILL get better. You're an awesome artist & friend and I hope you get to travel everywhere you want to go! You deserve it! @SeverusX

 

[Mythee]

A lot of us don't have a single most intense moment of self-discovery, but rather, have several or myriad such self-discovery moments scattered throughout our lives to incrementally define us. That said, this is a great thread with a great question, since it's some p good fuel for characterisation ideas in our fiction writing.


Back to non-fiction tho, one of those moments in my life was when we watched a documentary about World War II in class and got to the end of the war. After the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, thus killing vast amounts of civilians, Japan surrendered. The documentary showed the reaction in the U.S. while the streets in Japanese cities were in flames and hundreds of thousands of innocent people dead or dying or in agony. In the video, massive amounts of people had gathered out in the streets cheering in the U.S.- it's ok to be glad a war has ended, but this was a huge, jeering, obnoxious celebration. The banners and shouts of many of the citizens expressed a shameful tribalism and lack of empathy, yet nobody reprimanded them. Chills of pure horror  went up my spine. I felt deep disgust. Even though our side won the war, that isn't a victory that I could celebrate. Do you see people celebrating after the end of a natural disaster that takes many lives? Grief, mourning, compassion, coming together to undo the damage, and working on preventing such disasters in the future. That is the correct response. Especially if you are accountable for part of that disaster. 


In that memorable defining moment I became aware of how little a majority of people respect life, and that the extent and depth of my empathy would often pit me against public opinion. This especially holds true with regards to issues wherein people tend to get defensive (to defend what exactly?! They are limiting their own growth) and run ahead with any possible justification at the expense of critical thought and empathy. Those who say 'the ends justify the means' close their eyes to the other ends that result of that philosophy: the perversion of humanity. As a civilisation, what do we wish to be? Surely, our societal progress has not peaked. There will always be commonly accepted things which remain to be improved to better us as a species. Important questions that I have endeavoured to get people to think about ever since that day.


Societal progress, societal stagnation, societal regress. We live in an age where we see some of each of these in every country, regarding a variety of issues. I think I know on which side my heart lies.

 

[Ammy]

So I've attempted to properly convey my feelings here multiple times and always end up closing the tab before posting. Rambling incoming, apologies.


I've been through some stuff. Lot of loss. Lot of lies and betrayal. Three separate times in which I almost died; one to illness, one to an accident, and another due to negligence on my own behalf. Extremely dysfunctional, violent immediate family made all of this considerably worse. For a long, long time I thought I was doomed to misfortune simply because fate - if such a thing even exists - had a knack for kicking me when I was down. Being younger I never even considered that everyone has their own burdens to carry and instead grew resentful of...well, everything. If I were to pick a "defining moment" it'd probably be the day my father died. That shook me enough to really reconsider my entire viewpoint on life and change myself. It was hard to say the very least, but I had resolved to do that. Started fighting tooth and nail to provide for some people close to me when others were either too irresponsible or selfish. Told myself I would shoulder any burden the world would throw at me.


Looking back at it now I can't say I appreciate how it turned out, but that's another topic. After bottling up hatred for so long it's difficult to really go back to that. That's why all the constant angst in status updates has me rolling my eyes now and then since it often seems over something inconsequential, but I guess I am a little bit older than a lot of the people here. Now that all of that is behind me I'm finally able to focus more on my own future and happiness, and even if my attempts to help people in the past burned me quite a bit I don't want to give up on that. Feeling like your life is collapsing around you and you're unable to get out is terrifying. So I'd rather do what I can to help people combat that feeling of hopelessness. Charity work, volunteering, and such. It'd be nice if I could find someone to settle down with, but so long as I can survive and spread some positivity then I'm alright. Not really worried about how I can define myself, or how others may view me. All that matters is that I'm still here.

 

[norway]

A lot of us don't have a single most intense moment of self-discovery, but rather, have several or myriad such self-discovery moments scattered throughout our lives to incrementally define us. That said, this is a great thread with a great question, since it's some p good fuel for characterisation ideas in our fiction writing.


Back to non-fiction tho, one of those moments in my life was when we watched a documentary about World War II in class and got to the end of the war. After the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, thus killing vast amounts of civilians, Japan surrendered. The documentary showed the reaction in the U.S. while the streets in Japanese cities were in flames and hundreds of thousands of innocent people dead or dying or in agony. In the video, massive amounts of people had gathered out in the streets cheering in the U.S.- it's ok to be glad a war has ended, but this was a huge, jeering, obnoxious celebration. The banners and shouts of many of the citizens expressed a shameful tribalism and lack of empathy, yet nobody reprimanded them. Chills of pure horror  went up my spine. I felt deep disgust. Even though our side won the war, that isn't a victory that I could celebrate. Do you see people celebrating after the end of a natural disaster that takes many lives? Grief, mourning, compassion, coming together to undo the damage, and working on preventing such disasters in the future. That is the correct response. Especially if you are accountable for part of that disaster. 


In that memorable defining moment I became aware of how little a majority of people respect life, and that the extent and depth of my empathy would often pit me against public opinion. This especially holds true with regards to issues wherein people tend to get defensive (to defend what exactly?! They are limiting their own growth) and run ahead with any possible justification at the expense of critical thought and empathy. Those who say 'the ends justify the means' close their eyes to the other ends that result of that philosophy: the perversion of humanity. As a civilisation, what do we wish to be? Surely, our societal progress has not peaked. There will always be commonly accepted things which remain to be improved to better us as a species. Important questions that I have endeavoured to get people to think about ever since that day.


Societal progress, societal stagnation, societal regress. We live in an age where we see some of each of these in every country, regarding a variety of issues. I think I know on which side my heart lies.

Thank you for sharing - truly appreciate the insight, and I agree - I think it comes down to so many of humanities worst traits, it seems like no matter the cultural diversities, when it comes down to it, pride, a lack of empathy and general ignorance are a painfully common ground. I watched some of those videos too, and while I appreciate what America has been able to accomplish, the fact that causalities are so easily buried beneath the victory over a warring nation is unbelievable. People are becoming incredibly desensitized. 


Appreciate your perspective!

So I've attempted to properly convey my feelings here multiple times and always end up closing the tab before posting. Rambling incoming, apologies.


I've been through some stuff. Lot of loss. Lot of lies and betrayal. Three separate times in which I almost died; one to illness, one to an accident, and another due to negligence on my own behalf. Extremely dysfunctional, violent immediate family made all of this considerably worse. For a long, long time I thought I was doomed to misfortune simply because fate - if such a thing even exists - had a knack for kicking me when I was down. Being younger I never even considered that everyone has their own burdens to carry and instead grew resentful of...well, everything. If I were to pick a "defining moment" it'd probably be the day my father died. That shook me enough to really reconsider my entire viewpoint on life and change myself. It was hard to say the very least, but I had resolved to do that. Started fighting tooth and nail to provide for some people close to me when others were either too irresponsible or selfish. Told myself I would shoulder any burden the world would throw at me.


Looking back at it now I can't say I appreciate how it turned out, but that's another topic. After bottling up hatred for so long it's difficult to really go back to that. That's why all the constant angst in status updates has me rolling my eyes now and then since it often seems over something inconsequential, but I guess I am a little bit older than a lot of the people here. Now that all of that is behind me I'm finally able to focus more on my own future and happiness, and even if my attempts to help people in the past burned me quite a bit I don't want to give up on that. Feeling like your life is collapsing around you and you're unable to get out is terrifying. So I'd rather do what I can to help people combat that feeling of hopelessness. Charity work, volunteering, and such. It'd be nice if I could find someone to settle down with, but so long as I can survive and spread some positivity then I'm alright. Not really worried about how I can define myself, or how others may view me. All that matters is that I'm still here.

discreetly deleting an angsty status from yesterday


Rambling is welcome! We're all doing it. 


Hearts broken about your father, but I admire your strength and resilience. So glad you're here though, I'd like to say many are and appreciate your perspective greatly. I love hearing that it does get 'better' or at least considerably more bearable when you're older - I hope and pray you do find someone, and get to give back to the community to your own satisfaction! 


--


I've been raised around close minded people that say the opposite - which was a huge reason for creating this thread. I've been around for a few years and thought, hell, what better way to understand how other's live than by asking the forum? Thanks to everyone who shared and I'd love to hear more views, v happy to see no one's slamming each other, either. God bless, guys. 

 

[norway]

I learned the most about myself when I was very deep in my eating disorder and started working towards revocery. Still on the way.  B|


While being sick is terrible and I wouldn't wish this on anyone else, I feel like I wouldn't be this complete as a human being, that I wouldn't appreciate life this much, that I wouldn't love myself, my friends, my family and life like this if I had never hit that rock bottom where simple things such as graduating from high school and being able to have kids were no longer just something self-evident and certain

Wishing the best on your road to recovery! So glad you're getting better. Rock bottom is where the lessons are, I know that to be the truth. Appreciate youru perspective, and thanks for sharing, your highness.

 

[CoyoteGhost]

Had a moment after talking to a friend where I realized I'm allowed to be something confusing. I can have seemingly opposing personality traits. I can be chatty and introverted. I can act one way around one person and a different way around another. I guess if I simplified I'd say something like...I don't have to be red or blue. I don't even have to be purple. I can be all three at the same time. And that's okay.


He also told me not to worry too much about my identity (something I'm still struggling with). He said, "Nothing is more you than the things you like,". And that was really comforting.

 

[norway]

Had a moment after talking to a friend where I realized I'm allowed to be something confusing. I can have seemingly opposing personality traits. I can be chatty and introverted. I can act one way around one person and a different way around another. I guess if I simplified I'd say something like...I don't have to be red or blue. I don't even have to be purple. I can be all three at the same time. And that's okay.


He also told me not to worry too much about my identity (something I'm still struggling with). He said, "Nothing is more you than the things you like,". And that was really comforting.

Thanks for sharing! I agree with your friend, though I struggle with mine as well so I understand. Being a bit of a jack of all trades can be so beneficial, good for you!

 

[Swindle]

For a great deal of my life (I'm only twenty, but eh) I've always found myself not caring very much about anything in particular. I've always liked video games, but I wouldn't say I'm very passionate about them in the way you'd expect an eSports player to be. I like writing, but I fall into deep creative blocks of several days long, come out of them for a little while, then fall back in again. I like politics and activism of that sort, but just thinking about the worldwide suffering that takes place due to stratifying, careless and abusive political/economic structures depresses me to the point of having very problematic existential crises. So, figuring out a definitive passion has been difficult to say the least. 


There are two speaking points that I always come back to, and they're pretty far and away from eachother. One, which is non-human species and their behavior/welfare has been ingrained in me since I was younger. If I felt capable enough to be a veterinarian, I'd be that, but I'm not sure if I have the mental fortitude to commit to it.


The second is Motorsport and automobiles in general. It's only as recent as when I learned how to drive, but I find the idea exhilarating. Sadly, I can't indulge in this hobby in the manner one can take care of animals because of the nature of cars and racing, namely how expensive they are.


So, that's that. The latter two subjects are things that I feel, if I could do them, would be a defining facet of my "self."

 

[norway]

For a great deal of my life (I'm only twenty, but eh) I've always found myself not caring very much about anything in particular. I've always liked video games, but I wouldn't say I'm very passionate about them in the way you'd expect an eSports player to be. I like writing, but I fall into deep creative blocks of several days long, come out of them for a little while, then fall back in again. I like politics and activism of that sort, but just thinking about the worldwide suffering that takes place due to stratifying, careless and abusive political/economic structures depresses me to the point of having very problematic existential crises. So, figuring out a definitive passion has been difficult to say the least. 


There are two speaking points that I always come back to, and they're pretty far and away from eachother. One, which is non-human species and their behavior/welfare has been ingrained in me since I was younger. If I felt capable enough to be a veterinarian, I'd be that, but I'm not sure if I have the mental fortitude to commit to it.


The second is Motorsport and automobiles in general. It's only as recent as when I learned how to drive, but I find the idea exhilarating. Sadly, I can't indulge in this hobby in the manner one can take care of animals because of the nature of cars and racing, namely how expensive they are.


So, that's that. The latter two subjects are things that I feel, if I could do them, would be a defining facet of my "self."

Appreciate you sharing! That first paragraph... Wow, I felt like you were describing me - politics, writing, gaming, love them, but not enough to say they were my life's calling. I think you should definitely pursue, at the least, being a vet technician, and perhaps look into societies like the humane or best friends, of which are always in need of volunteers for animal welfare. There are also a lot of amazing volunteer projects that you could save up for, primarily with places like Volunteer South Africa, and GoEco, so you should check them out for at least something to look forward to in the future. (: Animal welfare is my only calling if I have any, I'd love for you to pursue them. 


If racing is an interest I can't help you there, but never let expenses be the reason you at least don't exhaust all possible 'venues. I think you could do anything you wanted, especially with that level of self awareness (: Best of luck to you, mate! 

 

[Mother Russia]

I Basically have managed to fake confidence so much to the point i actually have it and I'm not depressed and / or trying to cut out of my own body. That i actually am attractive , very attractive to some.


Makes me really proud of myself.  Considering i thought i couldn't do anything worth  jackshit  i say that's something to smile for.


So you know, Fake it til you make it,fam. You got this.


Next is to get my bodybuilder body because i need those biceps of a god.

 

[banished]

This may sound kinda weird, but when I was told my biceps were too big for the job I was at (I am a female) so I actually had to leave and not get paid that week! I was walking to my car, wallowing in self-pity, until I realized how fortunate and awesome the idea of having muscle was. A couple years ago there was a car incident (not going into that) and to keep it short: coma, pain, weakness, and LOTS of pt. I was on crutches for a very long time and was very weak and up until that moment, I had felt so weak and not as good as I used to be. But I realized right then how I had built this up and how all the work I had done actually paid off. I guess right then, I saw the best in myself and realized, yes, I was supposed to live through that, go to college, and have a future!


Sorry if it was repetitive, I just loved that moment so much

 

[SadrialFiresky]

When I was in high school I was able to overcome all of the emotional damage that had been dealt to me, due to a childhood that no person should have to go through (Humans shouldn't abuse children who don't get that it's abuse and that some people are just crappy. Abuse is just a No-No period.). I made the decision to dedicate my life to helping people in whatever ways I can. So I became Batman and I deal out vigilante justice on the weekend, just kidding I'm not rich. I am happier than I have ever been and have helped several people through really difficult situations in their life. I take pride in helping people but I admit I neglect myself in favor of others well being.My big epiphany is that  I didn't notice it until very recently but due to my dedication to others I have lost something I was once very passionate about; writing. Ideas and inspiration are all lacking and I am also very tentative about roleplay now. I'm actually really sad about it and a part of my mind keeps telling me it's a lost skill I'll never get back.


On the bright side a friend suggested looking at getting into writing prompts to see if that helps.

 

[Idea]

If I had to pinpoint a specific moment I'd say it was that time when I was having a crisis of faith and confessed such to a priest. The priest told me "It is not a sin to have doubts it is a sin not to seek to answer those doubts."


that moment revolutionized how I saw my whole life. In the few things I can be found of about the "me" of today, I think I owe a great deal to the direction that set me towards.

 

[Nicesta]

Probably never. I've experienced minor realizations, but I've always had a keen sense for who I was whether it was going from age 9-10, 12-13, etc. I've never really had a moment so self-defining that it was memorable. Idk maybe I'm just boring.

 

[MechanicalHeart]

When i let go of the notion that fitting in is a requirement.